Actions

Work Header

Arachnophobia

Work Text:

With Peter settling into the Avengers team, the pranks began. It all started one afternoon when Peter was casually doing his homework… on the ceiling but that’s not important right now. The penthouse was quiet, dare he say peaceful.

Although he was sure that was only due to the soundproofing Mr. Stark had installed after Steve kept yelling, “On your left!”, whenever he passed Sam on Mario kart. Which was soon followed by him screaming back even louder, “STOP SAYING THAT!”.

He was in the middle of his math homework when Mr. Stark entered the kitchen. He halted abruptly and his eyes widened.

“There’s a spider on the roof!”, he shouted.

Now here’s something only Tony knew about Peter… He was deathly afraid of Spiders. Ironic right?

And that’s exactly why he let out a glass shattering shriek and fell off the ceiling.

“Where?!”, Peter asked frantically. His eyes darting around the room in search of a spider, but he only found Tony practically falling over with laughter.

Tony looked up, “Friday, please tell me you-” he had to pause to laugh again, he could barely talk, “you got that on securi- security footage”, he slapped his hand over his mouth, struggling to contain the laughter.

The familiar sound of the AI filled the room, “Yes boss, I did.”

Peter had now gotten up off the floor and was standing with his arms crossed adorning a less than impressed expression on his face.

 

Tony grinned. Before Peter had the chance to say ‘no’, Tony had already said, “Friday, please send a copy of that to the Avengers”.

“Yes boss”.

Peter dragged his hand down his face. He was so. Dead.

 

 

It was the next day and he was finishing off a lego set of the Leaning Tower of Pizza. It was a tricky build, slightly too much pressure would send the entire thing crashing down, and his super strength didn’t help.

 

Natasha came in, her face unwavering even right before she exclaimed, “Ah! Spider!”.

Peter was sure in that moment he was exorcised from his body based on how high he jumped. The entire tower shattered, leaving a mess of sandy lego pieces all over the floor.

“Oops”, Natasha shrugged, and walked back out.

 

 

2 days later Peter was baking a cake for Sam’s upcoming birthday. He wasn’t the best but it’s the thought that counts right? He was pouring the flour into the bowl slowly, making sure he didn’t add too much when Bucky walked in, “Oh my god, there’s a Spider!”, he yelled.

And that’s when he dropped the entire bag of flour in a cloud of white powder. It was everywhere. Everything was now covered in a sheet of white, including himself. Bucky seemed to find this very amusing, to say he doesn’t smile often, he looked like he was going to need stitches from how hard he was laughing.

That’s it, Peter decided, I’m getting him back.

 

 

Tony was in his lab messing around with one of his repulsors. One of them was slightly stronger than the other but the imbalance caused him to spin like a chinese cracker wheel. He heard the sound of familiar steps approaching followed by his protege yelling, “Mr Stark! Spider!”.

Tony turned to the boy and raised his eyebrows, “Really? I’m Iron man, you seriously think that’s gonna work on me kid?”. He continued working on his repulsors. Did he really think that was going to work on him.

“Get your hand off my shoulder Parker, I’m working”, he grumbled without taking his eyes off his project.

“What are you talking about Mr Stark?”, he asked raising his eyebrows from his spot across the table.

Tony looked up at the kid, he had a suspiciously innocent looking grin plastered on his face.

 

Hold on.

 

If the spiderling was in front of him then-

 

 

“What the fUCK IS ON MY SHOULDER!”, he screeched. He leapt into the air, flailing his arms about. He saw a blotch fly past him and onto the table. “Holy shit! It’s 13 fucking inches long!”, he scrambled away from his workbench as fast as humanly possible.

“Don’t worry Mr. Stark, it’s just a Huntsman spider. You’re not scared because you’re Iron Man right?”, Peter grinned. “Friday, send recording to the Avengers”.

“You little s-”