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Jojo's Crack Smoking Adventure

Chapter Text

A link to the ASMR piece that started this idea.

It was a normal Friday morning, and you decided to start your day with a nice warm shower, as per usual. Swiftly hefting off your pajamas, you darted into the hot shower to clean off. As weird as it was taking showers in the morning, it was an amazing start to the day that had you feeling up and ready even when there was no work! As the steam swirled around you, you started humming your favorite song... Until clashing notes came from outside.

Listening in, you could hear it was your neighbor Coda singing some of his newest song, Fighting Gold. He must have been really passionate about it, it seemed like he couldn't get it off his mind! The last time you saw him, he was already talking about it, and asked if he could sing it to you...

Now, the music came closer and started pounding on your door. You audibly sighed at the thought of having to miss him due to your appointment, but this was clearly your shower time. He knocked again. You stayed perfectly silent in the water, hoping somehow it would make him think you weren't there and drive him away. He knocked again. This time, the knocks sounded aggressive, like an FBI agent only giving a customary warning to a lolicon he wants to bash in the skull of. What was his deal? It was only... You peeked out of the curtain to check the clock.

12:00 noon. So not that late. The knocking continued, until you heard an earsplitting sound from the other room.

"No... it couldn't be... he wouldn't...!"

You exited the bathroom with a whoosh of the curtains, a quick tying of the towel, and a running start after you shut off the water. Half pissed, half utterly confused, your shocked eyes came across Coda, in the kitchen, preparing some ramen for your brand-new microwave. 

"H-hey there, <y/n>, how're ya doin-"

"Coda what the hell is this!"

A nervous smile crept across the wild man's face.

"A cup-o'-noodle..."

It was hard to process how incredibly dumb that was. You looked into your living room, seeing the pieces of your glass window shattered all over the floor. You looked into his eyes, wide-eyed, horrified.

"C-coda! This is... this is my house! What the hell?!"

His smile grew into giggles of terror then faded on his lips as the reality set in. I had two fists on my person, and I wasn't afraid to use 'em. Plus I was totally justified in doing so! I charged up to him, ready to deliver a punch when all of a sudden my loose tie came apart completely. I didn't even realize how much it was on the edge of falling off until now.

The towel at my feet, all I could do was scream and recuperate as fast as possible while Coda ran out of the window he smashed open and back into his own home, presumably.

As soon as I came back from the bathroom with changed clothes, I heard a small sound from my kitchen. I walked down and immediately recognised what it was. It was my microwave.