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this can only end in chaos and disaster

Chapter Text

[7:03 am]

[hank has created new chat!]

 

[hank added north, markus, tina, gavin and 4 more!]

 

[hank renamed the chat mostly gays]

 

gavin: hank what the fuck is this

 

hank: wdym

 

north: a gc dumbass

 

markus: how did you get my number?

 

hank: north

 

north: smh stop exposing

 

tina: why am i here??

 

hank: because why not

 

josh: i didn't ask to be here

 

[hank has changed josh's name to party pooper!]

 

party pooper: lame

 

kara: that's rude!

 

[hank has changed kara's name to group mother!]

 

tina: accurate

 

simon: it's far to early for me to be at school tbh

 

gavin: im coming

 

north: that's what she said

 

gavin: stfu north

 

hank: everyones name is boring smh im changing it

 

[hank changed their name to not that old!]

 

[not that old changed north's name to west virgina!]

 

[not that old changed gavin's name to gayvin 69!]

 

gayvin 69: wh

 

west virginia: exposed

 

simon: i thought that was common knowledge

 

tina: to be exposed it gotta be someone no one knows

 

west virginia: shut the up

 

[not that old changed tina's name to t-posing!]

 

[not that old changed simon's name to baby gay!]

 

baby gay: i stg if this is an attack on my height--

 

markus: you aren't that short, si

 

[not that old changed markus' name to unholy jesus!]

 

unholy jesus: why

 

t-posing: you deserve it

 

unholy jesus: i make one speech and this is what i get

 

t-posing: you had the confidence and looks of jesus stfu

 

party pooper: i'll assume everyone is at school by now

 

not that old: why does everyone call me old 

 

not that old: just because i got held back a year doesn't mean i'm old

 

west virginia: you dyed your hair white

 

not that old: it looks good on me

 

gayvin 69: yeah and you said its technically a natural colour

 

group mother: it's only natural once you reach a certain age tho

 

not that old: stfu

 

not that old: also yall see the 2 guys who looks like connor??

 

party pooper: you mean the people who came in like 2 weeks ago

 

unholy jesus: who's connor??

 

t-posing: i think their names were conrad and collin

 

t-posing: conrad is the one with like steel blue eyes and collin is the one that looks like connor

 

baby gay: oh,,

 

west virginia: imma ask for their number

 

unholy jesus: north no

 

baby gay: north no

 

party pooper: north no

 

t-posing: yes

 

group mother: north please no

 

not that old: north yes

 

gayvin 69: but why

 

west virgina: because

 

west virginia: chaos.

 

gayvin 69: good point

 

west virginia: gOT IT

 

[west virginia added conrad and collin to mostly gays!]

 

not that old: hi welcome to chilli's

 

collin: i thought you were joking w hat

 

west virginia: why would i joke about a group chat??

 

conrad: once someone lied about that just to get our numbers

 

gayvin 69: why'd you listen to north

 

collin: intuition says yes

 

t-posing: valid

 

conrad: so who's who?

 

collin: yes i am mildly confused

 

conrad: you're always confused

 

collin: shut up

 

west virginia: sO ANYWAY

 

west virginia: im north

 

conrad: clearly

 

baby gay: simon!!

 

group mother: i'm kara

 

unholy jesus: i am markus

 

not that old: hank

 

party pooper: hello, i'm josh!

 

t-posing: hey vsauce tina here

 

gayvin 69: smh i was gonna use that

 

gayvin 69: anyway am gavin

 

conrad: hi and despite our looks collin is just my friend not my brother

 

collin: we don't even look that much alike

 

not that old: speaking of looks

 

not that old: should i add connor

 

west virginia: yes

 

gayvin 69: isn't he coming back to school??

 

not that old: exactly

 

collin: who's connor?

 

unholy jesus: that's exactly my question

 

not that old: i forgot some people didn't know about him fuckin uhh

 

party pooper: do you guys know about the kid who defused a bomb at school?

 

collin: somewhat

 

conrad: we've heard about him, yes

 

collin: by that he means he immediately fell for that kid when he heard the story

 

conrad: i did not

 

unholy jesus: i--- okay

 

unholy jesus: everyone ganged up on me and told me the story in full detail

 

group mother: north told me of that story so yes

 

not that old: connor's that kid

 

unholy jesus: wait really?

 

collin: damn

 

gayvin 69: yeah, hes also amanda's nephew

 

group mother: as in amanda stern the law enforcement teacher?

 

baby gay: and the former fbi agent

 

collin: holy shit

 

west virginia: yeah, no one knows exactly who defused the bomb but we know

 

not that old: because were his friends

 

party pooper: technically simon and i are friends by association

 

t-posing: i know him through gavin ngl

 

west virginia: well he moved midway through last year

 

conrad: why did he move?

 

not that old: because apparently some people who had a grudge with amanda sent death threats to connor so he was moved away for his safety

 

unholy jesus: that sounds kinda sad

 

gayvin 69: it is

 

t-posing: lETS MOVE ON FROM THIS MILDLY DEPRESSING MOOD

 

t-posing: he's coming back in a week or so

 

not that old: connor also looks very similar to collin 

 

collin: is that why you double taked when you saw me??

 

not that old: yes

 

party pooper: north told me that connor, and i quote, "took every damn sport under the sun"

 

baby gay: i saw him doing 3 different sports in different days so i think that's pretty accurate

 

gayvin 69: bitch was amazing at combat and tag

 

west virginia: he always won unless he lets us win smh

 

group mother: connor sounds pretty talented

 

not that old: he is

 

colin: but later the bell just rang

 

t-posing: oh shit

 

[everyone went offline!]

Chapter Text

mostly gays

[12:02 pm]

[everyone is online!]

 

t-posing: add connor, coward

 

not that old: smh we just got to lunch

 

t-posing: d o  i t  p u s s y

 

not that old: fine

 

[not that old added connor to mostly gays!]

 

unholy jesus: would he even be online? 

 

collin: nines over here having a damn stroke over meeting connor

 

west virginia: whomst is nines

 

collin: conrad

 

conrad: i am no t

 

[connor is online!]

 

connor: hank what the absolute fuck

 

connor: i come back from taking a shower and i find i'm in a new group chat

 

conrad: .

 

connor: ... who are you

 

not that old: whats up asshat

 

not that old: i added the new students here

 

unholy jesus: i'm markus

 

group mother: my name is kara!

 

collin: you can probably tell by my name

 

conrad: collin stop starinf at mejshsjsjsshbs

 

baby gay: is he ok

 

west virginia: probably

 

not that old: that reminds me

 

[not that old changed connor's name to tiny terminator!]

 

[not that old changed colin's name to con artist!]

 

[not that old changed conrad's name to sixty nines!]

 

tiny terminator: why con artist

 

unholy jesus: they both kinda look like you

 

tiny terminator: ok but i am not tin y

 

not that old: compared to me you are

 

tiny terminator: bEING 6'2 IS NOT SHORT

 

con artist: wh

 

con artist: you're an inch taller than me what the fuck

 

sixty nines: somehow you guessed both our nicknames

 

t-posing: what

 

sixty nines: i call collin sixty

 

t-posing: but why

 

sixty nines: reasons

 

tiny terminator: change my name i'm not tiny

 

not that old: no

 

tiny terminator: i will fucking astral project to detroit just to punch you personally

 

gayvin 69: he swore so hes serious

 

west virginia: no shit

 

[not that old changed tiny terminator's name to bamf robocop!]

 

bamf robocop: you know what this is better

 

baby gay: everyone please go to c lass

 

gayvin 69: ??

 

unholy jesus: it's 12:46 pm

 

gayvin 69: oH CRAP SKDHISBDJS

 

bamf robocop: y'all are messes

 

west virginia: never say y'all ever again

 

[everyone is offline!]

 


 

mostly gays

[3:09 pm]

[everyone is online!]

 

t-posing: finally school's over and it's fuckin f riday

 

bamf robocop: speaking of school im coming back tomorrow

 

not that old: oh worm??

 

west virginia: HELL YEAH

 

gayvin 69: so when do you go back to school

 

not that old: you would like to know wouldn't you

 

gayvin 69: that was one time shut uP

 

not that old: bitch please you send a thirst text to connor

 

baby gay: oh tea??

 

party pooper: you can't leave us without an explanatio n

 

gayvin 69: please hank i beg of you d ont

 

not that old: then beg

 

not that old: aNYWAY

 

not that old: so basically connor was changing in the locker room because he spilled coffee on his shirt

 

west virginia: gavin then walked in to a presumably shirtless connor

 

t-posing: OH?????

 

bamf robocop: he just kind of,,, stood there as his face just became really red

 

gayvin 69: asdfghjkl i am going to die tina k ill me

 

t-posing: no s uffer

 

bamf robocop: so he just sputtered something along the lines of 'sorry' and almost sprinted out

 

bamf robocop: i'm there in slight shock when i get a message from gavin that said 'tina holy fuck i just walked in the locker room to see a shirtless connor and??? he's really toned i'd let him choke me'

 

unholy jesus: SDFGHIANBDVSBHN

 

baby gay: GAVIN H OW

 

gayvin 69: SJUT THE F UCK UO

 

bamf robocop: no he sent that to our whole damn group chat

 

con artist: fucking hell gavin

 

con artist: i've never talked to you in school but you sound like a damn disaster

 

west virginia: he really is

 

west virginia: because apparently he couldn't pronounce quiche properly

 

group mother: and??

 

bamf robocop: so when i said i was going to the bakery nearby gavin told me to "give me a quickie while you're at it"

 

sixty nines: Jesus Christ

 

gayvin 69: in my fucking defense no one ever told me how to pronounce it correctly

 

not that old: it doesnt mean we didnt think you asked connor for quick se x

 

unholy jesus: what is happening

 

baby gay: chaos

Chapter Text

mostly gays

[2:43 am]

[bamf robocop, west virginia, gayvin 69 and not that old is online!]

 

bamf robocop: i just got a thirst text from a stranger on instagram w hat

 

west virgina: why the fuck are you up so late

 

bamf robocop: i'm packing for the trip

 

bamf robocop: what about you?

 

west virginia: im doing homework

 

not that old: same 

 

gayvin 69:what the fuck im just watching netflix why are you guys so productive

 

not that old: its bcs we aren't total disasters like you

 

gayvin 69: phck off

 

west virginia: atleast spell fuck correctly smh

 

[sixty nines is online!]

 

sixty nines: please s l e e p

 

bamf robocop: no i'm busy

 

bamf robocop: why are you awake tho

 

sixty nines: sixty put my phone off silent before falling asleep so the notification sounds woke me up

 

gayvin 69: so you guys sleeping in the same bed

 

west virginia: sounds gay

 

bamf robocop: that reminds me can i add a friend in here

 

not that old: sure whatever

 

[bamf robocop added chloe to mostly gays!]

 

gayvin 69: whos that

 

bamf robocop: chloe

 

west virginia: l ast name

 

[chloe is online!]

 

chloe: i was joking when i said to add me to your group chat c onnie

 

bamf robocop: shut your up chloe we're both going back tomorrow

 

bamf robocop: today?

 

gayvin 69: wait

 

gayvin 69: chloe roland???

 

chloe: yes???

 

west virginia: holy s hit

 

not that old: when and how did you meet the chloe roland and befriend h er

 

chloe: i'm right here

 

chloe: but we met in the library and we just kinda bonded

 

bamf robocop: heck yeah we did

 

bamf robocop: changing your name it's bland

 

[bamf robocop changed chloe's name to real queen!]

 

real queen: thanks boo xx

 

gayvin 69: wh

 

sixty nines: i'm assuming that you're not actually dating

 

bamf robocop: can confirm we're not

 

west virginia: thank god i thought you turned straight while you were gone

 

bamf robocop: bi, actually

 

[con artist is online!]

 

con artist: smh you guys are having a conversation without me

 

sixty nines: you were sleeping???

 

con artist: so???

 

bamf robocop: anyway i continued that creepy pm i got and so now a girl won't stop messaging please help

 

real queen: block her

 

bamf robocop: already d id

 

not that old: guys sleep i stg

 

gayvin 69: fine 

 

real queen: while you do that we're going back to packing

 

bamf robocop: we should

 

[everyone is offline!]

 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

 

mostly gays

[4:20 pm]

[everyone is online!]

 

bamf robocop: 420 blaze it

 

real queen: we just landed and this is what you decide to text first?

 

t-posing: nice

 

west virginia: so we gon meet or

 

bamf robocop: tomorrow

 

not that old: valid

 

group mother: when can we meet you in real life??

 

bamf robocop: sorry it has to be at school since i don't really know some of you

 

sixty nines: it's ok

 

con artist: he's never this nice what did you d o

 

bamf robocop: i didn't do anything?????

 

gayvin 69: damn we lost another one

 

not that old: you say that like you haven't lost for years

 

west virginia: just waiting for collin, markus, tina and kara

 

bamf robocop: sounds mildly like a threat but ok

 

real queen: stop texting and start walking

 

bamf robocop: fine

 

[bamf robocop and real queen is offline!]

 

t-posing: damn conrad and collin really falling for connor

 

sixty nines: i'm not??

 

con artist: but we aren't tho

 

baby gay: my Gaydar is telling me ur lying

 

party pooper: if simon says his gaydar is saying that then it's probably true

 

party pooper: also

 

[party pooper changed their name to pls give peace!]

 

con artist: kjhgfd north back me up

 

west virginia: sorry i only back people up who are telling the truth

 

gayvin 69: i haven't even met you irl but i can already tell 

 

unholy jesus: if gavin says that it's true

 

pls give peace: where've you been markus

 

unholy jesus: i was painting

 

sixty nines:  we've never even met connor??

 

group mother: there's a thing called love at first sight

 

baby gay: more like love at first knowledge 

 

con artist: asnwuebnwik,x

 

west virginia: you both are gonna die when you meet connor 

 

sixty nines: sto p