Aziraphale explores the Garden of Eden because there is really nothing but lions out there to protect his charges from and Adam and Eve were...busy. He can see them several clearings over as he walks through the lush undergrowth and comes upon the fabled apple tree.
Up in its massive branches is an even bigger snake, as big around as Aziraphale is wide.
“Oh, hello,” he says and waves awkwardly. The snake slithers forward.
“Can I tempt you?” The snake hisses and tilts his head towards an Apple.
“Oh Heavens no,” Aziraphale says. He’s an angel, he’s above temptation. “God specifically said not to eat those apples.”
“They taste amazing,” the snake says and slithers further down the tree. The branches quiver under his weight.
“Now how do you know that?” Aziraphale asks. “You’re a snake, you don’t eat fruit.”
The snake blinks at him then hisses in the snake equivalent of a smile.
“I don’t need to eat it to know that it’s good,” the snake says and pushes his nose in the direction of Adam and Eve. “Just like I don’t need to have sex to know that it’s good.”
“Is that what they’re calling it?” Aziraphale asks. What an odd name. He is always fond of works with an x in them. It is just so rare.
The snake coils itself back up against the tree.
“That’s what Heaven calls it,” the snake says. “In Hell, we call it fucking.”
What an odd word, for an odd act. Aziraphale watches as Adam fits himself back into Eve and she cries out, tearing at the grass.
It seems almost painful, but it must feel good if it is something God invented in this garden. Only good things happen in Eden.
The snake slithers down and stares at Adam and Eve over his shoulder.
“Are you curious?” the snake hisses.
“It’s just such an odd thing to spend so much time doing,” Aziraphale says. “And it’s the only way their bodies differ from angels. Besides the wings of course.”
“You can adjust your form to have those parts, you know. It only takes a minor miracle and you’re an angel. You must perform miracles all day long.”
“Of course, I do,” Aziraphale blusters. He hasn’t really performed many miracles since he got to Earth with the creation of Eden. Just tiny little things like making flowers bloom earlier so he could smell their sweet fragrance from the top of the wall.
“Of course,” the snake agrees. “But having the parts is only half of the fun.”
“It always requires a partner?” That seems like a design flaw.
“Oh no, it's very fun on your own. But having a partner is more agreeable.”
From the way Adam and Eve act, it seems being alone isn’t an acceptable alternative.
“Why not give it a try?” the snake hisses.
“There are no other angels here,” Aziraphale says, frowning at him. “And I cannot reveal myself to the humans.”
“I guess you’re stuck with me then,” the snake says and pulls back up into the tree.
“Stuck with you?” Aziraphale says. “Wait, you mean doing that with you?”
“Fucking, angel,” the snake says. “Fucking.”
“You don’t have any of their parts, either,” says Aziraphale. At least, not that Aziraphale could see.
“Oh, I most certainly do,” the snake says.
“Adam’s,” the snake croons. “Though I keep it tucked away usually.”
“That seems like a good design,” Aziraphale says. Certainly for a creature that crawled on the ground. “Well.”
“Well what, angel? Want to try?” the snake asks.
Aziraphale frowns at the snake, then glances over at the humans. Their expressions are rapturous.
“Alright,” Aziraphale says. “Yes, lets.”
“Come up into the tree, angel,” the snake hisses and Aziraphale goes.
Within the tree, the snake seems endless, draping over every branch and wrapping several times around the trunk. Aziraphale feels surrounded and a shiver goes down his spine.
Staring the snake in the eyes, Aziraphale performs a small miracle. Nothing major, just a simple switch from his smooth skin to Eve’s parts. It feels suddenly breezy under his robes. He aches in a place he has never ached before. Something wet and warm slips down the inside of his thighs as Crowley slides closer, encircling the branches that Aziraphale clings to desperately.
“Is this normal?” Aziraphale asks. Everything is so wet.
“Angel, it's very good,” the snake says. “It's not always like this, but it is before fucking.”
That made more sense than constantly being this wet. He shifts his legs but he doesn’t know what to do next. He looks around for the snake’s Adam parts.
“What next?” Aziraphale asks. The snake seems to laugh.
“Climb aboard,” the snake says and shifts in the tree until part of the snake’s middle is in front of Aziraphale’s waist. Aziraphale clings to the branches as he tosses one leg over and oh goodness.
The broad pressure against his new parts is completely different than he’d expected. Aziraphale shifts around, the snake quickly becoming slick with his wetness. Aziraphale clamps his legs around the snake and holds on as best he can. Each shift of his weight, each movement of the snake, presses against him differently.
“Oh,” Aziraphale sighs. “Oh, that’s lovely.”
The snake stares at him, unblinking. Aziraphale rocks side to side and that’s good, then he walks forward and nearly falls off the snake.
The snake loops part of itself around Aziraphale and catches him. Aziraphale rubs up against the snake as he is righted and he moans, legs flexing.
He grabs the branches above his head and rocks his hips forward again, chasing that sensation. It’s overwhelming, the pleasure that swamps his system. Aziraphale curls into it, hunching over the snake as he tries to press closer, push the pleasure higher.
The snake turns under him so that he’s riding the pale red of the snake’s underbelly.
There’s something pressing against him, bumping his where he’s wet. He doesn’t want the pressure there though, he wants it further forward. He drops a hand down and hikes up his robes around his waist. He touches himself where he’s wet, exploring. He’s hotter than the sunlight down there and slicker than anything he’s encountered. He knows about his opening, has seen Adam and Eve enough together to piece that together. What he doesn’t expect is the tight nub in front of everything, that sparks almost painful bolts of pleasure when he touches it.
“Find something good?” the snake hisses and Aziraphale can only nod frantically. Something bumps against his opening again. Aziraphale pulls himself up and tries to get the pressure where he wants it.
“We in Hell call this a cock, angel,” the snake hisses and shifts under him so that it’s cock lines presses against Aziraphale’s nub. Aziraphale rocks against it and sighs happily. The snake's cock is softer than its scales, and the sensation is beyond what he could have imagined.
The snake tightens its grip on his core and forces him to be still, despite Aziraphale’s protests. He can’t move a muscle. When he looks down he sees it for the first time, the snake’s cock. It’s shaped like Adam’s but so much bigger, proportional to the snake.
“Will it fit?” Aziraphale asks breathlessly. He remembers when Adam and Eve had first fit together and the sounds eve had made, the force with which Adam had to thrust to embed himself in her. Maybe this isn’t something a human body and a snake body are meant to do together. But it’s not like there were any other angels here or any other snakes and Aziraphale is so curious.
The snake adjusts the angel between his legs, sliding up his ass and away from his nub, leaving his wet and wanting and shaking with desire.
“Hurry up,” Aziraphale demands. He tries to reach down and chase his pleasure himself but the snake wraps around him more. He cranes his neck to see what the snake is doing and oh, that long cock is lined up perfectly between his legs, shoving up against where he’s wettest.
The head presses against him, all blunt pressure that pushes and pushes and starts to border on pain. Aziraphale almost says a bad word and then the head pops inside of him.
Aziraphale muffles a shout, barely avoiding disturbing the humans.
It’s the strangest sensation, having the snake inside of him. He feels full and stretched and it shouldn’t be good but his nub is throbbing with his heartbeat. Aziraphale squeezes at little, politely, and gasps at the feeling of it. His muscles can’t lock down no matter how hard he tries, forced apart by the snake’s cock and it feels good. A shiver runs up from his toes to the top of his head, leaving him flushed in the face, his wings snapping open and knocking a few apples to the ground.
The snake moves around him, grabbing hold of more branches and getting out of the way of Aziraphale's powerful wings. It flexes it’s grip on Aziraphale's stomach and pulls into down harder onto its cock.
And oh that hurts. Aziraphale hisses and the snake freezes, blinking at him in surprise. After a moment, it moves again experimentally and Aziraphale feels something tear deep inside of him.
It hurts but the snake's cock sliding deeper past the wound.
The snake shifts, wrapping its tail around Aziraphale’s thigh so that it presses against Aziraphale's nub before disappearing between his legs.
Oh. That’s much better.
Aziraphale rocks his hips forward experimentally and falls another inch down the snake's massive cock. He can feel his soft insides, stretched wide to accommodate the snake's cock, tremble against the intrusion but the snake pushes onward. With each inch it feeds into Aziraphale, the closer Aziraphale gets to be able to hump his nub against the snake's soft belly to his heart's content.
He feels the head of the snake’s cock press up against something inside of him, then keeps pushing, stretching him lengthwise as well as around the snake’s girth.
He’s wrapped up so tight in the snake he can’t escape or press into the pressure, only endure it. His whole body is flushed and tingling.
Then the snake eases its grip. Gravity pulls Aziraphale down to sit flush against the snack, it’s cock stuffed fully inside of him.
Aziraphale gasps and whines and writhes.
The snake uncoils around him except for a single band around his chest, keeping him upright but unrestrained. Aziraphale braces his elbows against his smooth scales.
He remembers seeing Eve try something like this, with her knees astride Adam’s waist. He swings his feet and finds purchase on the rough bark of the tree with one foot and one of the snake’s coils with another.
Aziraphale pushes up, the snake's cock sliding amongst out of him, then he drops back down. It feels like ascending to Heaven, like the heavenly quires are singing just for him.
He grinds down against the snake’s coil, rubbing his nub across slick scales. The snake hisses and raises Aziraphale up, away from his pleasure, then lowers him back down, its cock rubbing against his insides in the best possible way.
Aziraphale slumps into the snake’s grip, letting it fuck into him at its own pace. Each time it sank deeply into him, it allowed him a few moments to press against his scales and chase his pleasure. Then it would pull out in a slow drag and slam back into him.
Aziraphale is out of his mind at the pleasure, bouncing around in the snake’s grip. Then the snake drags him down its thick cock and holds him there, his nub pressed so firmly against his scales that Aziraphale sees rainbows.
Something hot and wet pumps into him, then leaks out, leaving streaks across the side of the snake.
The snake lets out a long low hiss.
The cock inside of him softens and withdraws. Aziraphale whines at the loss.
The snake hisses, and then the moves, dragging Aziraphale along its scales as it slithers between his legs. The endless friction has nebulas bursting behind his eyelids until he feels like he’s teetering on a knife’s edge.
He falls into the pleasure and understands why demons could spend their whole life chasing such pleasure, understands why Adam and Eve can barely focus on anything else.
The snake sets him down on weak legs. Aziraphale stumbles and has to use his wings to keep himself upright.
He flies up to the top of the wall in a meandering path, struggling to keep his focus on flight.
When he reaches the top of the wall he feels used in the best way possible.
He’s going to enjoy guarding Eden.