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If you're so smart then tell me why are you still so afraid?

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Whenever he was high his ears would start to hum. A soft sound like the ocean's crashing waves. As he lifted a blunt up to his lips he could hear the symphonies of birds, the ocean, and a child's laughter; clashing in a distant harmony.

He was young when he started but it was the late seventies, how could you blame him? He was 10 when he stole his dad's piece off the counter and enough weed to get him high. He crawled out his window and made his way up to the roof.

He watched the stars as he smoked. A feeling of bliss rushed through his veins in a way it never had before. He felt... happy? Giddy? Excited? He couldn't tell but all he knew was that it felt good. Oh so good.

His eyelids were heavy but he felt like he was floating. His head was still on the ground but his body was in a different world completely. It felt like he could fall asleep and do nothing. Like absolutely nothing mattered anymore.

The feeling of dread deep in his stomach let up and he could breathe again. The Stranger blasted through his bedroom speakers and out into the cool night. The soft tones of Vienna started to sing through the air and Billy closed his eyes.

"Slow down, you crazy child" he sang along, "You're so ambitious for a juvenile." He wasn't the best singer in the world but anyone that would have heard him could tell the pain in his voice as the lyrics stumbled from his mouth.

"But then if you're so smart, then tell me why are you still so afraid?" He caressed the fresh bruise on his cheek. Another moment of defiance that his father oh so rightly put him back into place for.

"Where's the fire, what's the hurry about You'd better cool it off before you burn it out." He wanted to grow up. To get out of his life. He'd change his name and never have to hear Hargrove again. Things would be better but that life he craved was just too far away.

"You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day." He tried to keep himself busy. Project after project so he didn't have to go home to his father's welcoming fists. After his mother left... It just wasn't the same anymore.

The memory felt like a movie playing before him as he sat up on top of the familiar roof. The sun was setting in an extravagant show of colors. Red mixed with pink, yellow, and purple and the moon peaked through the clouds. "Billy! Billy!" Max called his name and he sighed.

He climbed down and back into his room where Max stood angrily. "Dad wants you, William," her foot tapped angrily on the floor, thudding on the soft carpet of Billy's bedroom. Billy sighed and put the blunt he still had between his fingers out on the bottom of his shoe, throwing the remaining bit into his bedside drawer.

He walked into the kitchen where his dad had been looking through mail at the table. "What the fuck is this, William?" He asked, waving his Junior report card back and forth.

"That's a report card, Neil," Billy quipped back. His father put the Report down and moved to Billy's side of the table, "Oh, you want to be smart, boy?" Billy smirked, "Well according to my report I can't be smar-" Billy was cut off as his father's fist collided with his cheek sending him crashing to the floor.

He kicked Billy in the ribs, the boy curling in on himself. "Don't you ever talk to me like that again boy, do you understand?" Billy nodded but Neil kicked him once more, "I said, Do You Understand?"

"Yes Sir," Billy croaked out as he felt his ribs protest against each breath. His father smiled, a sadistic sort of grin. "Good," he said before stepping over Billy's body and leaving.

Billy groaned and sat up, his body ached but he stood up anyway. Max came in from the living room, her backpack on her shoulders. "Dad told me to tell you to drive me down to the Arcade," she said nonchalantly.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. He stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and found his car keys in the left pocket. "Fine then, go get in the car," he briskly walked out of the room annoyed, his body feeling like it was screaming with each step.

"You need to stop provoking him," Max said as she closed the car door.

"And you need to fuck off," Billy said as he pulled out of the driveway.

"I'm starting to think you have a death wish."

"Maybe I do."

Billy turned the music up but Max reached over and turned the music down.

"Don't you joke like that, Billy." Her voice was stern.

"Who said I was joking? And if you touch the dial again I will crash this car."

Max glared at him defiantly, turning the music completely off. Billy's nose twitched and he hit the gas. The car sped up along with Max's heartbeat.

"Billy stop, you're gonna kill us!"

"So fucking what? I'm high as a kite baby!"

Billy laughed and swerved around from Lane to Lane as Max gripped tightly to the handle above the car door. "Billy, please!" she begged.

"What's the magic words!" He as Max let out an abrupt scream.

"I'm sorry! Please, stop!"

Billy just laughed harder. "What did you say? I couldn't hear you!" Tears streamed down Max's face.

"IM SORRY, PLEASE!" she screamed as they neared a red light. Billy slammed on the breaks, nearly running the light.

"Good girl, now don't you DARE ever disobey me again," he turned the music back on and started the car as the light turned green.

They arrived at the arcade and Max wiped her face with her sleeve. "I can't wait for the moment you kill yourself, Billy. 'Cause with the way things are going it's not going to be long." She stepped out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

Billy rolled down the window and called after her, "Be careful what you wish for, Maxine! You never know if it might happen!" She didn't turn around as Billy spoke. She just kept walking forward, disappearing into the arcade.

Billy sat for a moment, just thinking. He knew Max didn't like him, but full on wanting him to kill himself was a whole new level. Just another person that wouldn't mind if he died. Oh well.


Steve Harrington was a weird guy. But that never stopped Billy from going over to his house to buy the alcohol he stole from his parents. With a 20 dollar bill in his wallet and a new reason to drink he knocked on the front door and the messy-haired man opened up moments later.



Steve opened the door wider and let Billy in, closing it softly behind him. "I need that good shit," Billy said as he pulled out the twenty. Steve nodded and gestured for him to follow. Steve handed him a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps as they stopped at his room.

"What's the need?" he asked as he handed it over.

"Because everyone wants me dead so I might as well just kill myself slowly."

Steve didn't respond, just stayed quiet at the sentence.

"What about you pretty boy?" Billy asked.

"Nancy... Broke up with me," tears brimmed his eyes and he grabbed a lukewarm beer from under the bed, cracking it open.

Billy bit his lip, lost in thought. "Do you want something to help forget?" he asked. Steve looked up, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Billy walked forward, kneeling down in front of him. "We're not friends, Steve. But I'm alone and your single." Steve gulped as the boy looked up at him through dark eyelashes.

"I'm- I'm not gay," Steve stuttered as Billy put his hand on the inside of the other's thigh.

"So?" he said as his hand crept up Steve's leg. Steve grabbed Billy's wrist and looked him dead in the eyes.

"No one finds out about this, okay?" Steve said nervously.

"Not a soul."

Steve let go and Billy continued to move his hand up the other's leg, leaving the Schnapps on the floor. Steve gasped as Billy palmed him through his jeans. Billy leaned up and placed a gentle kiss to the other boy's lips. 'How could someone so violent taste so sweet?' Steve asked himself as Billy slid his tongue into his mouth, exploring as he continued to touch him.

"Ooh-" Steve let out a strained noise as Billy unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down his legs. Billy pushed him onto his back. "Go lie down," he said as he pulled his own pants down.

Steve moved so he was lying down onto his bed. Billy climbed ontop of him and leaned down to kiss Steve. Billy was wearing cherry red, tight, boxer briefs that clung to him in all the right places whereas Steve was wearing plain boring black boxers.

It was only kissing until Billy grinded down and Steve let out a moan from deep inside his chest. Billy lived for moments like this, where he was finally bringing someone pleasure even if it meant that they were squirming underneath him in lust and ecstasy.

But that can only last for so long. So, 30 minutes later Billy left, now with a bottle of Schnapps and another notch in his bedpost.