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Hors d'Ouevres

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~~~Written 7/31/13~~~
Prompt: KakaYama Smut
"Aagh—Senpai—" He gasped, arched his back and spread his knees, opening himself completely to Kakashi’s desperate thrusts behind him; there were more words in his head—harder faster oh god don’t stop don’t stop Senpai please—but all he could get out was ‘Senpai’, over and over and over while Kakashi panted above him and fucked him into the mattress and Tenzou felt the edge rising before him, unable to do anything but clench his hands in the sweaty sheets and cry out as he fell over far too quickly.


~~~Written 9/6/13~~~
Prompt: KakaYama Week; daily theme - Arguing, daily theme - Sexual Sunday

That was all the warning Tenzou had, just that soft little noise that didn't quite make it out of Kakashi's throat into their joined mouths, before Kakashi's hands tightened on his hip, around the back of his neck. Kakashi's body went rigid underneath him and Tenzou ground down, held steady while Kakashi finished inside him, kept kissing Kakashi's open mouth until the tension abruptly went out of his senpai. He let himself go lax as well, then, sprawling on top of Kakashi as Kakashi melted into the mattress, and broke the kiss at last.

"Toldja I'd make you come first," he murmured, lips brushing Kakashi's chin, and shifted just enough to emphasize the hard-on he was still sporting.

"Hmm," Kakashi hummed, the hand on the back of Tenzou's neck raking up into his unkempt hair and sending shivers down his spine. "I believe your exact claim was that you always make me come first, though--" he guided Tenzou's head as he spoke until his words were murmured warmly into Tenzou's ear "--and my rebuttal still stands: No you don't."


~~~Written 9/5/13 - 9/4/14~~~
Prompt: KakaYama week, a lightly-steamed appetizer combining ingredients from the daily Paperwork and Dangerous Mission themes with the weekend Sexual theme. Bon appetit.
"Fuck the paperwork!" Kakashi snarls, and the claws of his glove are digging into Tenzou's thigh despite the thick uniform pants he's still got on. "I'll help you do it after. Just—" He heaves a harsh breath, and there's a wildness in his eye that Tenzou has seen before—the last time they came a little too close to dying on a mission, as a matter of fact.

It's unsettling, when his senpai is usually so calm and unflappable, but Tenzou has always been good at keeping his own cool and he can recognize the forces at work inside Kakashi right now. Kakashi doesn't like letting people in, and once he does, he doesn't like reminders that he could lose them. It makes him a little bit feral, a little overzealous in his attachment, and that's why Tenzou finds himself being accosted at the desk before either of them has gotten completely out of uniform.
Kakashi's claws prick again as he takes another deep breath and Tenzou shivers despite himself.

No one will be expecting that report before tomorrow morning, anyhow.

"I'm pretty sure you'll have more fun with me than the paperwork," he says archly, slipping an arm around Kakashi's shoulders in tacit acquiescence. I'm still alive. I'm not going anywhere just yet.

"Probably," Kakashi agrees, exhaling with force, that wildness settling slightly now that he's got Tenzou's cooperation. He eases the sharp grip he still has on Tenzou's thigh.

Tenzou slides his arm up behind Kakashi's neck and pulls himself close, moves his freed leg to hook behind Kakashi's. "Help me take these pants off, Senpai, and we can confirm it," he murmurs, lips brushing Kakashi's ear, "right here on top of the desk."

He scoots the report out of harm's way first, however, because he knows Kakashi well enough to realize that help or no help, he'll still be doing most of it himself, and there's no sense ruining the start he's made already.


~~~Written 10/8/14-10/11/14~~~
Prompt: Ouija board thinks we should fuck AU - SasuSui



"Is...that it?"

"Looks like."

"...That's it."

"Pretty sure the Ouija board just told us to do the nasty, Sauce. C'mon, let's get naked."

"Are you kidding me."

"Hey, don't look at me like that--the board has spoken."

"You moved it."

"The spirits moved it. D'you really wanna go against the spirits?"


"Hey, vengeful spirits are serious business! I don't want 'em comin' after me!"

"And you think sex with me will keep you on their good side."

"I think sex with you would be hella fun, is what I think, but if I please the spirits in the bargain I'm not gonna complain."

"Don't say 'hella', you're not twelve."

"Sasuke, you're a pain in the ass, but you're my pain in the ass and you're pretty damn hot and I think sex with you would be the most awesome kind of awesome that I ever have awesomed."


"And the Ouija board said we should do it, don't forget that."


"C'mon, I'm easy on the eyes and not half bad in the sack by all reports. You could do worse, right?"


"Look--you wanna pass, that's up to you, no harm no foul but I'd call it a cryin' shame. I'll even bend over for you, huh? Whaddya say?"

"...Vengeful spirits?"

"They only get vengeful when you blow off their advice."

"So it's in our best interest to do what the board suggests, then."

"...Hell yes."

"You're so transparent. Shut up and get naked."

"...Wait, you mean it?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, you...actually look like you wanna get in my pants. Hot damn, dude."

"Don't make me regret letting you talk me into this."

"Takin' 'em off, gimme a sec--"

"Convenient, that we're already in your bedroom."

"Isn't it though? Remind me to thank the spirits later."


~~~Written 10/20/14~~~ for chidorgy's birthday
He was only trying to find Sai's hospital room. He hadn't meant to walk in on...whatever this was.

He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Yamato was no fool, and he was very aware of Sakura's temper and strength, so he quietly closed the door again and walked briskly away, praying that neither occupant of the room behind would have sensed his chakra or felt him there.

"Think they were good and distracted, Yamato," he muttered to himself, trying not to dwell on it, but--

What the hell was an Akatsuki doing in Konoha's hospital in the first place?!

He only knew it was Akatsuki because of the signature robe crumpled across the empty bed. He hadn't actually seen much, but he was pretty sure it was the plant guy. Those toothy flytrap things were nowhere in sight but there'd been one black foot and one white sticking up over the bed and Sakura had been straddling someone on the floor, saying--

Well, she'd been saying some peculiarly provocative things about weeds and fertilizer and Yamato was very sure she wasn't talking about gardening.

Really, it was none of his business. She was free to consort with whomever she pleased, however she pleased, in whatever context--

Lick my stamen, you dirty little weed, and if you do it well enough I'll step on your face again--

But he really wished he hadn't overheard. There were some things he just did not need to know, and this one would be very hard to forget.


~~~Written 7/15/15~~~ for an RP prompt to submit a sex dream that one character has had about the other, in a universe where Sai has initiated a consensual sexual relationship with Danzo. If that is not your cup of tea this is where you'll want to stop reading. :)
The dream is inconsistent as dreams tend to be, and he comes aware only halfway through, shifting intermittently from hazy wisps of impression to vivid detail and back. He cannot recall whatever dream-events brought him here but he finds himself naked in Danzo's bed, as he has been more than once in reality by now. He is lying on his stomach, knees drawn up somewhat and spread wide, hips raised, and Danzo is pressed close behind him, inside him, is leaning over his back and moving with unhurried care. It is languid and pleasant and comfortably rhythmic in its slowness and he cannot tell if it is minutes or hours that are passing in this fashion.

The dream sharpens, then, and Sai is suddenly alight with the wash of pleasure pouring through him; he's squirming upward now, seized by a sense of urgency, seeking harder and deeper, grasping at the bedclothes as he buries his face against them, open-mouthed. He pushes up on his elbows, not quite sure how to get more but wanting it badly; it's then that Danzo finally shifts his weight to one arm, wraps the other around Sai's shoulders and puts a measure of force behind his next thrust, and Sai is left gasping.

Another thrust, slow and heavy, and another, and then another as Danzo shifts again, hand splayed now over Sai's chest, stroking slowly up and down his sternum in rhythm with their coupling before sliding up, up---

Danzo's hand comes to rest against his throat.

Ordinarily, it would be a dangerous sort of touch, but it is Danzo's touch and it accompanies another artfully-unhurried thrust and Sai is arching his head back, arching into it, breath caught on a sudden influx of need as arousal blooms sharply in the pit of his stomach. Danzo hums briefly beside his ear, the sound rich with approval; his fingers close softly around the vulnerable curve of Sai's throat, slide up to grasp his jaw from beneath, and Sai's voice escapes on a breathless whine, cut short and barely audible and completely involuntary.

Danzo's lips brush the side of his face, linger briefly at his temple, and he's sure his name is spoken there, Sai, simple affirmation of who he has become, and then Danzo is moving within him again, marginally faster; his hand strokes slowly (tenderly?) up and down Sai's throat, his grip firm yet utterly gentle at the same time, and Sai shivers, gooseflesh rippling down his arms and all along his spine, fingers clenched in the sheets.

Danzo is murmuring quiet things every now and again, lips warm against his hair, his ear; Sai can't make out any words in the dream but it doesn't matter---the sound of his voice, the intimacy of it, the gentle pressure of his hand around Sai's throat, they heighten the swelling of pleasure in Sai's gut and he is panting with every slow heavy thrust, lost in the immediacy of the moment.

The dream slips out of focus again, details blending together, until it's all warmth and pleasure and trust and steady motion, building and building; he thinks it might go on forever and he would never tire of it, thinks he might go mad if it goes on one second longer, and then---

It loses cohesion, falls apart like shifting sand, sense and sensation wisping away into stillness. Bliss.

He comes awake then, facedown in his own bed, and his heart rate is still somewhat elevated, slowing. The trousers he's sleeping in are sticky and wet at his groin; the warm pleasure of the dream is still sitting close on his senses and he can feel himself smiling, sated and content as the half-memory fades away, fingers curling idly in his sheets at the impressions lingering in its wake.