Chapter Text
The technical term for Tomura’s condition was “excoriation disorder”. Which was just a weirdly fancy way of saying that he scratched at himself.
Compulsively. A lot.
His therapist believed it was anxiety-induced, and although Shigaraki wasn’t sure he’d ever enjoy his weekly counseling sessions, he would (grudgingly) admit that she made some pretty good observations. The state of his skin was a reliable barometer for his overall stress level.
And right now, his overall stress level was pretty fucking high.
“Aren’t they amazing?!” Toga cried, her breath fogging the glass. That’s how close her face was to the tank of squirming, slithering things in front of them.
“Hgggck.” Tomura was standing as far back from the display as he could without disintegrating anything. “Amazingly awful.” He gave in, reached up under the face mask he had on. Scratched at his throat, just a little, because ugh.
Why had he agreed to this? Stupid zoo. Stupid creepy, crawly, leggy things, freaking him out when he was actually trying to be nice and hang out with his friends.
“Did you know these guys will even eat birds? And bats? Shit.” Twice was reading the informational placard beside the tank, which had some unintelligible Latin at the top, followed by the more recognizable ‘Amazonian Giant Centipede’.
Yep, they were giant, all right. No lies detected. The blue-haired boy scratched a bit harder.
“I wonder what they taste like,” Spinner wondered, his slit-pupiled eyes flickering, and that was it. Tomura was officially done with this particular exhibit.
“I gotta leave,” he mumbled, turning to go, and Magne stopped reading over Jin’s shoulder to nod at him. Then her eyes widened.
“Oh. Oh, honey.” She reached carefully for his wrist and honestly, if it had been anyone else he would have slapped them away and kept scratching, purely out of spite.
But Magne was Magne, and she had this….thing about her that made you feel a little more okay. So he let her pull his hand away from his neck.
“Is it the bugs? Are they bothering you?”
“Fuck yeah, they’re bothering me.” Shigaraki shuddered and reached for the fidget toy in his pocket instead. The redhead patted his arm proudly. She’d bought it for him.
The others had turned around. “I’m sorry, Tomu. I didn’t realize they were icky for you,” Himiko said worriedly.
“We can skip the rest of this building, if you want,” Spinner offered, but Tomura shook his head.
“It’s your day. You guys like this shit, you can stay and look around. I’ll wait outside.”
“I’m not a huge fan myself. I’ll come with you,” Magne told him, and followed him toward the door. He tried not to imagine thousands of tiny-ass eyeballs staring at him as he shuffled out.
It took a few minutes for his skin to stop crawling, but Magne didn’t seem to mind. She just sat next to him on a park bench and scrolled through her phone idly until his fingers stopped twitching.
“I can’t believe people pay money to see that,” Tomura finally told her, when he thought he’d gotten his shit together.
She shrugged. “We are people, Tomura-san. Unless you stole the admission tickets.”
“Nah.” He could have, but…..”They have to feed these fuckers somehow,” he stated, gesturing at the goats squabbling in a pen nearby.
Magne tipped her head in acknowledgement, and they sat in silence a bit longer before she suddenly chuckled. Shigaraki looked at her questioningly.
“I know Dabi’s on the shit list right now, but I’d let him burn that building to the ground,” she confessed, nodding to the bug exhibit.
“Fuck, me too.” And then, he’d lock the Cremation villain in a closet for a few days, to see how he liked it. But Tomura didn’t say that part out loud.
All-knowing Magne must have caught the frown on his face, though, because she sighed. “Yeah, this morning was a goddamn dumpster fire. Sorry for bringing him up. I don’t blame you for being mad.”
“I just—does he even—aaaagh.” The blue-haired boy let his head fall back against the bench with a thunk. The dull pain in his skull was a nice distraction from the hurt in his heart. “How can he think like that? How can he say that stuff? Does he realize he practically lives in a queer pocket dimension?!”
“…I don’t know. Does he?” Magne slumped back to let her head rest beside Tomura’s. Together they watched tiny clouds scudding across a turquoise sky. “I mean, does he know you like guys?”
Shigaraki’s stomach flipped. “I never told him. Never exactly tried to hide it, either, but…no. Does he know you like girls?”
“I’m twenty-six, honey. I like women.”
He grunted acknowledgement, flapped a hand at her.
She flapped one back good-naturedly. “It’s kind of the same for me, I guess. I haven’t gone out of my way to lie, but I never specifically came out to him, either.”
The sound of approaching footsteps had them both sitting up straight, but it was just the bug nuts. “What about you guys?” Magne asked.
“Whabbouduth?” Jin had some fucking fried thing on a stick shoved in his mouth, and an ice cream cone in each hand.
“Damn, buddy,” Spinner teased the big blonde, rolling his eyes. “I got no lips, and my manners are still better than yours.”
“Shu’uh.”
“We got food. Are you feeling better, Tomu?” Himiko handed him a box of fries, and passed a sandwich to Magne.
“Yeah.” And then, because why not, “Thanks.”
She beamed at him and plopped down beside the others. “What were you asking, big sis?”
“I was wondering if you guys ever came out to Dabi?” Magne licked some mustard off her fingers.
“Not applicable,” Twice stated, and damn. Tomura had never seen a guy double-fisting ice cream cones before, but he was definitely going to see it again. Tonight. In his nightmares.
“Ah, yes. The token straight.” Iguchi poked at Bubaigawara’s cheek playfully.
“I’m pretty gay for this soft-serve though, my dude,” Jin informed him seriously, and even Shigaraki had to laugh.
“I never came out to Dabi, no. Actually, I gotta tell you all something,” Toga announced, poking at her cotton candy excitedly.
She had their attention. “You know how I was…kind of finally getting used to saying I was bi?”
Everyone nodded, and she took a big breath. “Well, I don’t know if you guys heard Atsuhiro-san this morning talking about being pansexual? But I kind of realized that maybe I like that better for me, too? And then I Googled it and I think it just makes sense. Because not everyone is a man or a woman, right, and I could still totally be into someone even if they were neither. So. Yeah.” She took a big bite out of the pink fluffy crap.
“That’s cool,” Twice told her earnestly.
“Yeah, thanks for sharing.” Magne reached over to brush a stray wisp of spun sugar off the girl’s nose.
“You do you,” Spinner added. “Oh, and I never told Dabi I was gay either. Didn’t seem relevant, ‘cuz I don’t really date much.”
“So, not that he’s excused,” Kenji concluded, turning back to Shigaraki, “but maybe Dabi really doesn’t know that he lives in a queer pocket dimension.”
“Heh. I’d feel bad for him, except that I don’t,” Jin chuckled darkly.
“I don’t know what it’ll be like when he comes back, but I think if it feels safe we should all come out to him.” Himiko’s lips and teeth were stained bright pink now. “It’s easy for him to hate ‘the gays’, if he thinks he’s never met them.”
“But surprise!” Magne threw her arms out. “We are ‘the gays’!”
“Git rekt, scrub,” Iguchi cackled.
The rest of the exhibits were fine. Maybe better than fine, Tomura thought. Maybe they were fucking fantastic, but he still wasn’t going to run around squealing like Toga did at the sight of the baby tapir.
He just didn’t have that kind of energy. Even if the little guy was, objectively, really goddamn cute.
Magne seemed fascinated by the big cats. Watching her watch them only got better when she admitted to him quietly that she’d never gone to a zoo before. Hadn’t had the money.
“You’re a lioness too, you know,” Jin told her after she’d stared at the enormous feline for a solid five minutes, and if she had to fix her makeup in the bathroom after that, nobody said anything.
Spinner was a complete ass in the reptile house, running from enclosure to enclosure and chatting to all the occupants like that was a perfectly normal thing to do. Shit got interesting when he started rumbling and grunting and clicking, though.
Shigaraki was supremely fucking glad it was the middle of the week, and the zoo was nearly empty, because whatever the hell Iguchi was saying had the iguanas and the alligators climbing the goddamn walls in a distinctly alarming way.
“Just inciting riot,” was all Spinner had to offer on the matter.
Jin seemed interested in everything, which was kind of what Tomura had expected. The guy was an absolute information sponge. He could read so fast it was like a second Quirk, and somehow he remembered it all, too.
They’d seen maybe half of the whole zoo when Twice started muttering to himself, which meant he was thinking hard about something. Toga was cooing at a family of lemurs when the Clone villain finally spoke to the rest of them.
“Tomura, did you know Kurogiri-san liked men?”
“I didn’t know Kurogiri liked anyone,” the blue-haired boy admitted. “I don’t remember him ever dating anyone before. He’s always been pretty….solitary, I guess. But then….”
When he’d seen ‘Giri and Mr. Compress kissing in the bar a month ago, he’d been shocked. And a little grossed out, yeah, because who wanted to watch two old guys make out? But the more Shigaraki thought about it, the more he figured the mist man deserved some happiness.
“I kinda set them up,” he confessed.
“Wait, what?” Spinner squawked.
“Excuse me.” Toga shook her head exaggeratedly. “Did I hear that right? You set them up? Who are you, and what have you done with Tomu-chan?”
“You are contractually obligated to spill the tea now,” Magne announced, steering Tomura toward another bench.
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope,” Jin assured him cheerfully, sitting and tugging the smaller man down beside him. “Talk.”
“Okaaaay. Um….”
He looked around at four expectant faces and figured what the hell. “Do you guys remember that night we were hanging out at the bar and I beat Pokemon Emerald?”
“A classic,” Spinner said wisely.
“Can’t believe you hadn’t played it before.” Himiko rolled her eyes. “Literally iconic. But yeah, I remember.”
“Well, they kissed. At the bar. Compress had his mask off and everything, I saw it.”
“Aw, you knew Atsuhiro-san was cute and you didn’t spoil our bet? You’re so nice, Tomu,” Toga told him, grinning cheekily.
“Bro.” Twice looked at Shigaraki, scandalized. “Bro, we lost that bet.”
“You have betrayed us. Justice will be swift,” Spinner deadpanned.
“Maybe just don’t gamble, then?” Tomura wasn’t exactly an authority on who was ‘cute’. He’d thought Dabi was cute, and then…. ”Anyway, yeah. So when the League meeting was canceled last night, I sort of…forgot to text Atsuhiro about it.”
“So he showed up! And then he and Kurogiri uh….” Iguchi realized where he was going with that, and shut the fuck up.
Good move.
“They done did the dooooooo!” Twice screeched, because he, on the other hand, was physically incapable of shutting the fuck up.
The goddamn howler monkeys in the next enclosure took that as a challenge and started screeching right back, which didn’t improve the situation.
But Jin was Jin. Was Jin. He got a pass, even if he pissed off some loud-ass monkeys. Even if he made you imagine your dad having sex.
“Presumably,” the blue-haired boy conceded. “Which I would like to not think about, ever again. But…yeah. I mean, they seem to work together pretty well. And ‘Giri’s been really happy lately.”
Magne frowned. “Not to be a dick, but how can you tell?”
“Yeah, I don’t know how to say this, but Kurogiri-san kinda has no face,” Spinner supplied helpfully.
And to think that he’d recruited these shitheads. Tomura sighed. “It’s the eyes, you guys. He has those glowy eye slits, you know? And they sort of…crinkle up and get shaped like this,” and he traced a crescent in the air, “when he smiles.”
“Oh. I never noticed!” Toga squeaked. “I’m going to be looking for it now, though!”
“He does the caret thing?!” Jin yelled, and the shitty fucking monkeys yelled back.
“…carrot? Bubaigawara, what are you even talking about?” Magne looked as confused as Shigaraki felt.
“No, caret. C-A-R-E-T. The symbol?” Twice looked at his friends and clicked his tongue. “This thing.” He pulled out his phone and typed a single character:
“^”
“That shit has a name? My guy. My man.” Spinner clapped the strapping blonde on the back. “You are wasted on us peasants.”
Which was probably true, honestly. Jin had received almost no formal education at all, after he was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, and he was still smarter than pretty much anyone Tomura knew except for—
Zzzzt. Zzzzt.
The blue-haired boy reached for his pocket, startled, and pulled out his phone. Speak of the devil. “Hold on, guys. It’s Sensei,” he announced, and scrambled to escape from screaming monkey hell before the call could go to voicemail.
He made it, just barely. “Hello?” he answered on the final ring, leaning against the wall outside and trying not to sound out of breath.
“Shigaraki Tomura.”
Always his full name. Every time.
“Yes, Sensei?”
“I need you to do something very important for me.” Normally, that would be an exciting thing to hear, but Shigaraki felt a twinge of regret. Today had been nice. And they hadn’t even gotten to the giraffes yet, which were his favorites….
Shit. “How can I help, sir?”
“The hideout is quiet, Shigaraki Tomura. Too quiet. I have reason to believe that your…caretaker…is hiding from me somehow. Very possibly, he is plotting against me.”
False. Tomura suppressed a snort. His caretaker wasn’t plotting anything; Kurogiri was just off camera, probably fucking Compress’ brains out right about now, and shit, could people stop reminding him of that?
“I…I see.”
The mechanical voice on the other end grew quieter. “I know this is a difficult thing to face, and I hope you will forgive me for asking so much of you. But when one is truly powerful….as I am, as you are….there will always be those who covet our power. Who wish to take it from us.”
“Yes,” and he was whispering too now because Sensei really did seem serious, and He couldn’t really think that Kurogiri would commit treason, would He? Because the Warpgate villain was every bit as straight-laced as All for One himself.
Except lately, his brain was whispering. Lately he’s been different, and what do you really know about him? Not much, it turns out.
“Go home, Shigaraki Tomura. See if you can locate Kurogiri Kohaku anywhere on the premises, and report back.”
“I will, Sensei.”
“Thank you,” and that was it. His phone screen darkened as the call disconnected.
“I have to do something for All for One,” Tomura told his friends, and they were disappointed that he had to go (which felt good), but not surprised. He did a lot of somethings for All for One.
This was the first something he really, truly didn’t want to do. And that felt….not so good.
It felt a whole lot worse two hours later.
He’d fucking bolted, as soon as ‘Giri and Sako started heading for the stairs. Hauled ass down six flights and out the front door, run another three blocks and collapsed behind a dumpster that smelled like Dabi had a baby with a bunch of gym socks.
To hell with it. He tore off the blue paper mask, replaced it with Father, pulled his hood farther over his face and for a while he just sat.
And then he pulled out his phone and called All for One back.