It all started the day Katsuki finally grew up and accepted he had a crush on Izuku. That was his first mistake. The next was actually thinking about the nerd rather than trying to bury his feelings in denial. Finally comes the third mistake, aka the one that led him to his current predicament of unending embarrassment and humiliation. He should have never asked Mina and Kirishima for help.
Katsuki thumps his head on the desk, hoping he can kill enough brain cells to stop processing the wave of comments and suggestions flooding in from the two people sat on the floor. Honestly, the idea to ask two of his so called friends for help came out of nowhere this morning, sounding like sweet ambrosia in his half asleep state. Kirishima and Mina have both had relationships before; of course they’ll know what he should do! And with a slight (okay major) blow to his pride he’d texted them both to meet him in his dorm.
Now he regrets it. Majorly regrets it. Y’know what, he doesn’t even really need their help! He can just let these feelings rot away. He can become the crazy old cat lady no one wants to come near. Fine by him! Who cares if stupid Deku has a blinding smile that could outshine the sun on any day? So what if he does look pretty damn fine whenever Katsuki glances at him in the changing rooms? Even if he does wake up every morning with the image of dream Deku lying under him and- Fuck. He’s so screwed.
He’s pulled (quite literally) out of his thoughts when his chair is suddenly yanked back, two extremely sadistic looking faces seizing him up from either side. Half his mind tells him to blow them up, the other is too busy fearing for his life.
‘Shoulders and arms.’ Mina supplies, face furrowed in more concentration than Katsuki has ever seen in any of their classes.
Kirishima hums in agreement before tugging at his shirt and hair. Okay, that’s the final straw. Katsuki jumps up out of the chair with explosions crackling in his palms. Seriously who the fuck do they think they’re touching hah?
‘Fucking asswipes I’m not some shitty lab rat for you to touch!’
Then Mina is all up in his face grinning like the devil himself possessed her already hell bound soul because holy fuck she is evil. Whatever she has planned, Katsuki can already feel his oncoming death. Goodbye life, his tombstone will read ‘KING EXPLOSION MURDER, MURDERED BY THE ANTICHRIST WITH PINK HAIR’
Before he can even do anything, Kirishima, the traitor, is blocking his escape on the other side and seriously, isn’t it enough to have one evil creature in his room?
‘So we have a plan,’ Pinky says with that air of smugness a person can only get by luring someone into an early grave.
‘Yup! And if you’re manly enough to pull through I can guarantee you that Midoriya will be worshipping the ground you walk on by the end of the month!’ He finishes with a flash of pointy teeth, eyes glinting as they hold Katsuki’s.
That… doesn’t sound too bad. A month huh? And to have Izuku worshipping the ground he walks on… well maybe only some times. The nerd needs to have time to do other stuff with him as well after all.
A slow smirk makes its way onto Katsuki’s face as he considers the offer. On one hand if it works he can finally have the nerd to himself, meaning no more secret pinning and quick glances. On the other hand if this fails he’s going to have to create another identity and start a new life in Russia chopping firewood for a living. Meh it’s not too hard to choose.
‘I’m in. Now fucking tell me how to seduce that nerd.’
A chorus of whoops go up around him and even he can’t stop the small grin from slipping onto his face at their delight. Stupid shitty friends and their antics. Oh well, these antics better get him a boyfriend by the end of the month.
Mina bounds in front of him and Kirishima finally stops doing his small victory dance as they once again seize him up. With a small huff and a shake of her pink curls, Mina grabs his arm and starts hauling him out of his room.
‘Rule number one in the art of seduction: look like a snack. At the moment you’re like a trash bag with potential so we’re going shopping!’
The image of his tombstone flashes in front of his eyes once more before he’s pushed out the door by Kirishima, each person grabbing one of his arms and dragging him out the dorms into one of the most stressful days of his life. Okay so not the most stressful but it’s definitely close.
It starts with a haircut because to quote Mina, he looks like ‘an angry Pomeranian bred with a porcupine’. He nearly blew her up, quirk usage rules be damned, but by the end even he had to admit the new hairstyle looks good. It’s not quite an undercut, but the sides are definitely shorter now. Combined with the new hair gel that lets him sweep the longer strands on top into a somewhat more organised shape, yea he can admit he looks hot.
With his hair sorted, Mina drags him around countless stores to find him the most attractive new set of clothes, even going so far as to buy him a new tighter uniform, although he still fights off any mention of a tie. Mina surprisingly doesn’t complain, saying the unbuttoned look is sexier anyway.
His embarrassment rockets to the sky as they buy him ‘date outfits’ which consist of the tightest dress shirts and slacks, where practically everything is out for show. Even then that doesn’t seem to be enough for the others and he had to put down a clear line when they started heading to a sex shop for who knows what. That comes later once he’s successfully seduced Izuku.
The whole ordeal lasts so long the sun has already started setting, yet Mina and Kirishima are still not satisfied. Apparently there’s still something missing and by now Katsuki is so used to their dragging him around that he just lets it happen. The solution presents itself in the span of ten minutes when they walk past a tattoo and piercings parlour. Kirishima’s eyes light up immediately and Katsuki groans slightly on the inside before he’s pushed into the place.
Two minutes later and he’s internally cursing and praising Kirishima for his brilliance. The needles make him uncomfortable but like hell if he showed it, we die like men dammit. Then he has the moment of utter satisfaction as he looks into the mirror to see the two hoops ring around his helix. Fuck that looks so good.
Finally finished, they grab some takeout before going back to the dorms, each person carrying multiple bags of stuff to boast their victory. Their celebration is, however, short lived when Iida comes and sternly tells them they should be resting to stay in top form for classes. Even with Mina dramatically draping herself over Katsuki’s bed in hopes of staying and Kirishima clinging onto Katsuki’s arm, Iida doesn’t relent until everyone is back in their own rooms, leaving Katsuki to fall asleep with a small grin on his face. Izuku better be ready for him tomorrow.
His early morning workout doesn’t seem to help the jittery nerves even as he pushes himself past what he normally does. It’s only once his arms start shaking from exertion that he finally stops doing pushups and heads to the shower. The water hisses against his hot skin, the vapour fogging up the area around him as he prepares himself for the upcoming day. He’s Katsuki fucking Bakugou, he has battled villains and won, he can do anything! He just has to put on the new clothes and strut into that class with all his cocky personality on show and the rest is up to his looks.
He shuts the stream of water off, running a hand through his hair. He’s still not used to the new style, as well as the new piercings that throb when he passes the towel over them harshly. A scowl finds its way onto his face as the door opens, Kirishima stepping into the bathroom just as he wraps the towel around his waist.
‘Hey Bakubro! Ready for a day of making Izuku fall for you?’
He curses Kirishima’s loud nature as he slaps a hand over his mouth, but it’s already too late. Todoroki stands in the doorway with a slightly raised eyebrow, his heterochromatic eyes focused on the spectacle before him.
Katsuki wastes no time in grabbing him and pushing him against the wall, eyes screaming cold blooded murder as he growls, ‘If you tell a single fucking soul Icy-Hot I swear to God they won’t find your body because I’m going to-’
‘You like Midoriya?’
Before he really does murder him, Kirishima grabs Katsuki from behind, swinging his arm around his shoulders as he puts a little space between the two guys. He awkwardly tries to laugh away the situation before he’s abruptly interrupted by Todoroki.
‘You can take my dad’s credit card if you ever want to take him on dates or buy him something.’ With that he steps away and heads into the showers, leaving two very confused people staring at where his back disappeared.
‘What the fuck?’ Katsuki scream whispers, Kirishima only shrugging in bewilderment. Who knows what goes on in Todoroki’s head, although it seems like he gave Katsuki a warped version of his blessing? Shaking his head slightly, he decides to push that confrontation out of his head and go back to his room to get ready for school. He needs to make sure their shopping spree is put to good use after all.
Twenty minutes later and he finds himself standing outside of the classroom with Kirishima and Mina on either side coaching him on how he should walk in. Head high, one hand in his pocket, walk slow but confident. Dammit he can do this! He’s amazing at everything! With a deep breath he slams the door open and prowls through, head high and a hand in his pocket just like they told him.
He can feel the stares of everyone in class but he doesn’t acknowledge any of them, looking straight ahead as if he hadn’t just had a massive makeover in the span of twenty four hours. He gets to his seat without any sort of incident, room still deathly quiet as he drops his schoolwork on the desk. In a final moment of boosted confidence, he glances up, meeting Izuku’s speechless gaze with a wink before slouching in his seat like the cocky bastard he is.
Then his common sense catches up to him and he promptly has a mental breakdown. Holy fuck he fucking winked at him. WINKED. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?!
He glances to his right to find both Kirishima and Mina grinning and giving him the thumbs up from where they’re sitting. It seems he passed the first rule of seduction.