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Planet Earth's Manifesto

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It started on the fourth day, when God made light. In the garden, there was Adam, Eve, and the snake. Eh, you know the story. Eve fucks up etc. etc. But what you don't know is the story of the angel and the devil who were best friends. Aziraphale, the angel, wears a bowtie and long beige trench coat. His hair is white and his face appears to be at a constant smile. He radiates sunshine and positivity. His contrast, who ironically happens to be his best friend, is Crowley, a demon with yellow snake eyes, firey red hair, and emo clothing. He wears shades constantly to prevent people from fearing him at the sight of this eyes.

Anyways, despite their undeniable differences the two were inseparable. And this was just the beginning of a long journey, the story of all humanity.
Adam and Eve survived the garden after their sin and gave birth to a son, Cain and shortly after, Abel. But unknown to them is that Adam and Eve host orgies with the other gods around the cosmos. So Adam has an affiar with some fucking cat god lady and she gives birth to a god of destruction and demands child support. So he gave her ramen then dipped with Eve. Eve got so pissed off that Adam did that. So she left his stank ass and she went to Lucifer and had more and better orgies. As Berous (the cat son of Adam) realized how shitty everyone is, he also dipped and went to go take a thousand year nap. Fast forward in time and Berous woke up and wanted to destroy the earth cause he was bored as fuck and Jack Sparrow came and was like
“wHeREs mY fUcKiN’ rUm mAtE?!”
Then he beat Berous ass and saved the world. Then we go to the most amazing time on the planet’s history, the 1970’s (AD)!


At the eve of Rock n’ Roll history there was an airplane called the Starship. It was a retired airliner that had been remodeled to be a luxurious ride for rock stars on tour. Anyways, it was January 1972 and Led Zeppelin was on board the Starship at this time. Jimmy Page was sacrificing a goat while Robert Plant played the infamous piano in the other room, and JPJ and Bonzo were getting drunk. As Jimmy completed his occult ritual, none other than Crowley appears. Not Aliester Crowley, but Crowley, the demon friend with red hair. Jimmy immediately bows down. “Wow, let’s save that for another time, dear,” said Crowley, raising an eyebrow. Jimmy, confused, stands up. Their gazes meet, Jimmy both confused but joyous as this is proof of the wonderous Devil’s existence. He stood there in awe. “Okay, its getting a bit weird, really I can come back later for more if you want, though”, said Crowley, winking. “Oh, no I’m not- I just can’t believe you just appeared out of thin air!” said jimmy. “Well, I brought something for your friend on the keys over there,” he said, pointing to Robert. Jimmy walked over to Robert. “Hey man, a demon’s brought you some... company.” Robert was confused and assumed Jimmy was high as fuck but followed him into the other room of the plane. Standing there was Crowley and a simple looking woman. “This is Eve,” said Crowley, pointing to the woman. “Okay? And?” asked robert. “Well, in one of your drug-fueled dreams, you imagined yourself having sex with Eve, the first woman. It is part of the prophecy, and must be completed.” Said Crowley. “So... commence fucking!” Eve walked up to Robert, seduction in her eyes, as she began removing her clothes. “Put it in.” “Wow, woman, I’m not even hard yet,” he replied, startled. “But it won’t take long,” said Robert, winking. He picked up the woman and carried her to the other room. Immediately, their clothes disappeared and Robert was on top of Eve who was on the piano. He put it in slowly, and Eve winced, although it was not as painful as she imagined since this was not here first time, ya know? “EW what the fuck man!” said Bonzo, who had watched the whole thing unfold. JPJ was by his side, startled in the same way but not sure at all as to what to say. “Fuck this!” Bonzo got up, grabbed JPJ by his shirt and walked over to the emergency exit. He opened the door, and the pressure dropped in the cabin. Bonzo jumped and was shortly followed by JPJ. Robert looked up and realized what had happened. Eve was in shock. “Eh, I’ll send Aziraphale onto that,” said Crowley. “Anyways, there’s more to this than just you two.” said Crowley, pointing to Robert and Eve. “Follow me, Jimmy,” said Crowley. “And you two, continue, don't let the suicidal tendencies of your bandmates distract you. Actually, make it do the opposite. Whatever you’re into.

Jimmy and Crowley were locked in the closet. Crowley took out a dagger. “Here, cut me. Right here,” he said, revealing his arm. “Um, okay,” said Jimmy. He cut an even line down his arm, instantly creating a red waterfall. “Now my turn,” said crowley, taking the bloody dagger from Jimmy’s hand and raising it up to his neck. Jimmy’s heart rate accelerated. “I know you like this, you little bitch,” said Crowley, making his first incision near Jimmy’s collarbone. “Fuck,” said Jimmy, sharply inhlaing. “I’m not a homosexual,” said Jimmy, closing his eyes. “I don’t even know what, what this is,” gasped Jimmy. “Shut the fuck up,” said Crowley. ‘The party’s just getting started.”
Indeed, whatever ritual Jimmy and Crowley did triggered a large dust of glitter, and suddenly, they weren’t on the plane anymore. Jimmy, Crowley, Robert, and Eve found themselves in a large, underground dance floor. There was heavy club music playing in the background, and a mixture of smells including weed, body odor, alcohol, and flower-scented perfumes. Fog surrounded the four of them so where they were standing was empty, but they couldn’t see the walls as a thick cloud of artificial fog surrounded them. Suddenly, bodies appeared from all sides. David Bowie, dressed as Ziggy Stardust, with his arms around Mick Jagger, wearing nothing but underwear. In another hand, the legendary rock star held a martini. From another side, appeared Roger Daltrey, with a blank, vacant expression on his face. Not Roger, no, it was Tommy, the character from the Who’s rock opera, Tommy. He crawled to the middle of the stage and just stood there. From another side, Elton John, as portrayed by Taron Egerton with John Reid (Richard Madden) by his side. Elton was wearing a simple cheetah print robe, and an earring in one ear. John was sporting a similar look, nothing but a bathrobe. Jimmy was so scared at this point, he reached for Robert’s hand. “Are you seeing this? Is this from the acid we took months ago? The 450 micrograms? Oh my, do you think that we’re having flashbacks! Robert!” Tears appeared at the ends of Jimmy’s eyes, blood running down one of his sleeves, leading to a hand that was holding onto Robert’s for dear life. Tommy turns and stares into Jimmy’s eyes. He lifted his arm and pointed at Jimmy. More people kept flowing in.
At some point, Freddie Mercury, Lou Reed, Bob Dylan, Keith Richards, Roger Waters, David Gilmour, and a very pale looking Jimi Hendrix- wait, isn’t he dead? All appeared. Women also appeared from various angles, making their way towards the rockers. Elton and John were on the floor, naked and completely into each other. John moaned as Elton’s rhythmic movements caused him a plethora of pain and pleasure. Ziggy’s makeup was smudged and he was holding Mick in a passionate embrace, also on the floor. Mick held Ziggy’s face in his arms as Ziggy’s hands crawled towards mick’s pants. Keith Richards was snorting cocaine off of a woman’s naked body, and then proceeded to lick her. The bodies, most of them undressed, now created a circle on the floor with Tommy still standing in the middle, finger at Jimmy. Robert shook his hand loose from Jimmy’s, grabbed Eve and moved to the floor. “Robert! No!” Jimmy shrieked. Tommy lowered his hand, shifting his gaze up into the sky. All around him a circle of sweaty bodies and other bodily fluids. A hand reached over and landed on Jimmy’s shoulder. “Let’s get back to where we were,” said Crowley, holding a knife to Jimmy’s back. The cold from the knife sent shivers down Jimmy’s back. Crowley kissed Jimmy, a rough and toothy kiss, nearly cutting Jimmy’s lips. But this time jimmy did not resist. He kissed back even harder, and soon their bodies fell into the pile that created the circle around an emotionless, unmoving Tommy.
The music fades, but the moving bodies continue. “The apocalypse has begun,” says Tommy. “I am the pinball wizard, and I declare the apocalypse, now!”
After the apocalypse started every last surviving creature and human went down to Bikini Bottom (courtesy of David Hassalhoff, our lord and savior). There was spongebob, he fed everyone krabby patties. Then sandy cheeks invited everyone to other house for some fun times. But Sandy doesn’t like sex cause shes not a furry so she just left the humans alone.
Lucifer and (Your Name) were sitting on the (favorite color) couch watching your (favorite movie) on Netflix. You both were laughing and watching the stupid movie unfold. Then Lucifer ran his hand up your (skin color) thigh. You bit your lip and moaned. To Lucifer, your moans sounded like a heavenly choir. Ironic right? Then Lucifer looked you in your (eye color) eyes.

“Do you still want to do this? Cause you’ve been a naughty girl… and I have to punish you~” Lucifer sung in a whisper.

“Yes… I still want to do this.” You answered back softly, “I’m sorry daddy… I’ve been naughty… you have to punish me~” you purred, looking into his dark eyes.

Lucifer smirked and got up from the (favorite color) couch.

“Stay here love, daddy is going to make some crabby patties, because daddy had to do some naughty things to plankton to get him to steal the krabby patty secret formula.”

“Ok daddy” you replied, toying with the edge of your shirt.

You looked around curiously and nodded to the hidden camera in the corner of the room. You also hid your gun and your taser in your bag by the couch. Just then Lucifer walked in with a bag of cocaine, a BIG dildo, a vibrator, a pair of padded handcuffs, a spreader bar, a spider gag, (favorite flavor) lube, and of course… the Krabby Patty. Lucifer pulled off your (favorite color) shirt and brushed back your (hair color). You smirked and toyed with the buttons of his shirt. Soon all of the clothes were on the floor, your handed were cuffed above your head, your legs were spread by the spreader bar, your mouth was opened by the spider gag, your pussy was COVERED in (favorite flavour) lube, and Lucifer teased your sweet opening with the vibrator.

“Moan for daddy love… moan for daddy” Lucifer purred, then he put a krabby patty on your stomach and then fully pushed the (favorite color) vibrator inside your pussy. Causing you to voilenty orgasm.

“I’m going to eat this krabby patty and snort some cocaine off of your tender boobs, while you sit here and writhe in pleasure.” Then Lucifer whipped out the cocaine and started snorting and eating the krabby patty.

Now you got him right where you want him. You used your secret super strength to break out of the cuffs and bar, and grabbed your (favorite color) bag and pulled out your gun.


Years after the apocalypse began, revolutionary science was beginning to emerge about what exactly had started the catastrophe in the first place. “I can’t believe it” said Doctor Watson, looking into a microscope. “John! We did it! This is the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever seen, and I can’t believe we are the ones who discovered it.” said Sherlock Holmes, pacing in the lab. “You mean horrible... Sherlock, its a horrible thing,” said John. “Yes, of course, yet this is unheard of in the science field. Two diseases came together and literally collided to form a superior virus responsible for the struggles of these past years.” said Sherlock, shaking his head in amazement. “It seems to be a joint virus of the Ebola virus and the ancient Black Plague” John sighed. “Sherlock, is there anyway we can stop this?” “Well, that's for us to discover,” said Sherlock, making seductive eyes towards john. “Oh god, really, now?” said John, laughing. “Yes,” said Sherlock pushing the microscope off the table, lifting John and putting him onto the table. The microscope shattered, and all the evidence of their discoveries was lost amidst a floor covered in sharp glass and blood from vials. Sherlock hopped onto the table, his trench coat trailing behind him. He kissed john, only supporting himself with his arms as he hovered above the smaller man’s body. Sherlock reached his hands towards John’s crotch. “Doesn’t take long for you, huh? He said, noticing that John was already hard. John laughed in response. Sherlock began undoing his belt , working his fingers around the zipper, revealing John’s dick. John moaned, and sherlock giggled, moving his lips towards John’s. Sherlock took off his coat and dropped it onto the messy ground. Just then, the laboratory door opens, and none other than Robert Mapplethorpe (Matt Smith) runs in. “Oh shit, I’m getting in on this,” he says, aftera short and awkward pause.” Mapplethorpe jumps onto the laboratory table, sharing a kiss with Sherlock. He then moves to John’s lips as Sherlock refocuses on John’s hard cock.

Meanwhile, on the floor, Ebola is just waking up from being knocked out from impact. “Oh, God, you’re okay!” said Black Plague. She leans into Ebola’s mouth and gives him a hard kiss. “Yes, yes everything’s all right. Now c’mon you, we’ve got apocalyptic children to make!” They kiss passionately and soon have intercourse. The two of them laid on the floor, only know realizing what was going on above them. Is that fucking Mapplethorpe? Asked Ebola. “By god, it is!” said the Black Plague, “I love that bitch.”
You are now finishing the last sentence of your incredible rock opera / drug extravaganza / literary masterpiece, with the phrase ‘I love that bitch.” Right as you type the last quotation mark, you hear a knock.

Chapter Text

You wake up in a cold room. There are bright lights shining into your face. “Are you ready to talk?” you hear someone say, with a deep Russian accent. “What-” you are just coming into consciousness and find yourself unable to remember what happened before. You feel rope around your torso and a slight weight directly behind you. You realize you are tied up to another person and turn to find an unconscious teenage boy in a blue uniform. It is Steven from Stranger Things. Suddenly he wakes up, and before anything, yells “I told you, I work for Chips Ahoy!” You are deeply puzzled, but before you can say anything else, a bald man walks towards you with a syringe and injects a blue liquid into your neck. “What was that!” you yell, panicking and worrying that death is near. “Just a little something... to help you... talk,” says the russian man, and you cringe as he says this because he breath STINks like cigarettes. You remembered suddenly you have to write a letter to Netflix to complain about how much Hopper smoked in Season 3 of Stranger Things. Then you realize. Fuck, you ARE in Stranger Things. This is the LSD scene. And YOU are Robin. “Steve!” you whisper, as the guards leave the room. He is conscious but in a daze, staring at the floor. “Holy shit, I feel great!” he says, moving around so that the rope on your end tightens. “Steve, we need to get out,” you said, your last words slurring. “Holy- I feel great too,” you say, starting to laugh. You can’t quite tell what’s funny, maybe its the rabbit you suddenly see appear at the other end of the room. “Steve! I’m seeing shit. Who let this rabbit in?” “RAbbit? That’s a fucking goat,” he said, looking tothe corner of the room where you are facing. “Steve, they gave us free drugs! Oh my god, I thought we were going to die!” You say, calmed. Suddenly there’s a large crashing sound and a body drops from the ventilation shaft above your head. “Fuck,” you hear the body, which slamed face-forward into the concrete say. The voice is surprisingly masculine for the figure, which appears to be female. He/she turns around and looks at you. You can’t believe what you are seeing- it’s Rupaul, the drag queen. “All right girls, I’m here to get you out. Let’s sashay away!” She struts over to the table, where there is a pair of scissors and begins to cut away at the ropes tying you and steve down. She sets Steve free, and as he tries to stand, he begins to wobble. “Wow, the room is actually a liquid,” he says, rocking back and forth. Rupaul grabs him by the shoulders and looks into Steve’s eye. “Ah shit, they gave y’all acid?” he says. “Where’s the rest? I haven’t done that since the 90’s with Michelle Visage at Kurt Cobain’s house party” (may he rest in peace). He sighs, then looks at you and begins to untie you. But then a knock fills the room, instantly paralyzing the three of you. The russian man and bald guy enter the room. “What the-” the Russian guy begins to say. Then you realize that you aren’t hallucinating it. RuPaul really is there. And he’s really trying to free you. “Oh my fuck-” You are amazed. It’s fucking RuPaul! But then you realize the gravity of the situation. The Russian man pulls a gun out his pocket but before he can do anything, RuPaul kicks it out of his hand with her high heels. It is absolutely badass, and you wish you could help, but you are still slave to the ropes. Steve wobbles over to the bald man and bites him. He screams. It must’ve been a hard bite. You struggle in an attempt to leave the chair. Then Michelle Visage comes out of the ventilation with two guns in each hand and kills the Russian and bald man. “Thanks,” says RuPaul exhausted. Santino Rice falls out of the vent with much less grace then Michelle. But it doesn’t matter, because he is a beautiful man and you are amazed. “Ru, I think a bit of your dress ripped in the vent,” “Fuck,” says RuPaul. “This is couture.” Steve is foaming at his mouth on the ground, staring at the dead Russian. “Why is he blue?” he asks, poking him in the leg. “Alright let’s get them and go,” says Michelle, beginning to untie you. Her breasts are so big they are blocking your entire field of vision. Rupaul gets a chair and begins to climb back into the vent. Santino gets a hold of Steve. “Steve, you’re okay, just get up there,” he says. Michelle is guiding you. As you look at her face, it begins to melt. You freak out. “It’s okay,” she says, and suddenly you are calmed. Her voice is typically scary on the show, but right now, she seems incredibly friendly.

You lose track of what happens in the next five minutes. Or maybe it was an hour, you are unsure. You saw a lot of strange colors, and now you are in a Mercedes G Wagon, with Santino driving, RuPaul in the passenger, and who knows where Michelle went. Steve is next to you in the back. Wow, this is a NICE car, but the steering wheel is the shape of a square. That’s weird. Steve looks at you, and you can see his hair growing upwards. He makes a face of shock, probably seeing something distorted as well. You both start laughing uncontrollably.
The next few hours are a blur, but eventually the drug wears off. You are still in the car, unsure of where you are going.You doze off, your head leaned on Steve’s shoulder as he too begins to snore heavily.


“So what brings you both here today?” The couples therapist lady questioned. “Well you see, my hubby and I haven’t had sex in over 5 years. Because of Jedi things. I even tried to incorporate the (favorite color) lightsaber to try and seduce him, but Yoda wasn’t having any of it!” You said exasperated, Yodo was just sleeping on the (favorite color) couch. Yoda suddenly wakes up from his deep slumber. “Insert the dick I mustn't Hmm… Because I cannot get my dick up the reason why is. Hmm” Yoda explains, a blush covering his face. “Well this is an easy fix!” The couples therapist said excitedly, “Yoda is going to take viagra! *wink* The couples therapist then left the pill on the table and dipped, saying “have fun you two!” As she left. I looked at the pill that sat on the (favorite color and favorite type) plate. “The pill (your name) I will take, then fuck your brains out. Ready get!” Yoda screamed excitedly, taking the pill dry, “Insert the dick I must” You got excited and shucked off your clothing, then started sucking face with your man. You were wearing your (favorite color) bra and pantie set. You also brought your (favorite color and favorite style) DILDO… Yoda has an extremely small penis but he can’t pleasure you with it, so he masturbate as you fuck yourself on dildo. Then all of a sudden, Yoda starts chanting… “OH! OH! Me daddy lucifer, hmmm... The dark side I sense in you! Herh Herh Herh Herh! The dark side I sense in you.! I need your big fat cock! Right up inside me! Oh yes!” Yoda screamed, precum leaking from the tip of his dick. You rubbed the end ge of the vibrator against your clit, Yoda eating you out. Well, he always liked take out. But then all of a sudden, Lucifer came out of nowhere.

“Wow (Your Name), you got over our break up quick. But you called me here to help you and your new boyfriend. So don’t be upset when I make your boyfriend a bottom bitch.” Lucifer said, holding a knife under your chin. The chill of the blade going straight for the nipples. Lucifer then picks up Yoda and sets him gently on pillows. Then Lucifer fucks Yoda ever so gently. Soft moans coming from his lips. (Your Name) also moaning. Yoda’s name coming from her mouth. Lucifer dragged his knife against Yoda’s chest, scraping slightly. “You like that you filthy little slut. You like being a bottom bitch.” Lucifer dirty talked in his ear, biting at the lobe. “YES! A filthy slut, I am!” Yoda screamed. Lucifer pulled out after coming. (Your Name) crawling next to them to snuggle. Yoda’s orgasm was so intense that he just fell asleep.


It was a cold rainy evening in Chelsea, England. Here, in a large brick building, was Roger Waters, sitting in the main room of a three bedroom flat. In order to save expenses, he was sharing the flat two other musicians, Roger Taylor and Roger Daltrey. All three of them were just starting out, with Roger Waters working on his band, The Pink Floyd, Taylor with Queen, and Daltrey with the Who. The three of them had met by accident in a nightclub nearby, and were surprised to find that they were all in the same situation - looking for two flatmates for a place in Chelsea. “Have you gotten the mail yet?” Roger asked Roger. “Yes, it’s on the table. Have you seen Roger?” Roger asked Roger. “He’s still in his room. Probably asleep,” answered Roger. Another man entered the room, his blonde hair sticking up on all ends, and his bottom half covered with nothing but underwear. “I’m gonna practice with my band later,” said Roger to the other Rogers. “Yeah me too,” answered the other two. Roger walked past Roger, and his long shirt somehow caught the end of Roger’s mug, knocking it off the table. “God damn it, Roger!” said Roger. “Sorry, Roger! It’s your fault for putting it so close to the end of the table!” he exclaimed. “No, you blonde slut, it’s your fault! I loved this mug!” said Roger. “Shut up you horse-faced fuck,” said Roger. “Oh yeah? Well you fuck your cars so I don’t know what you’re even talking about.” said Roger. “Rogers, calm down,” said the third Roger. “Shut up, Roger,” said Roger. “You’re... you’re... god damn it, I can’t even insult you. You’re kinda beautiful,” said Roger, his face turning red as he realized what he had just said. “Oh wow, thank you Roger, that’s very kind.” said Roger. Everything calmed down in the House of Rogers, and they continued to live peacefully.

Until there was a knock on the door. All of them shuddered as they recognized the knocking pattern. It was none other than the fourth Roger. He was rejected from the House of Rogers because he was not really a Roger. His birth name was indeed Roger, but he went by something else. It was none other than Syd Barrett.
“Go and get the door,” said Roger to Roger. “No, why doesn’t Roger just get it,” said Roger, motioning to the other Roger. “How did he even make it here?” asked Roger. “I don’t know. To be honest, I haven’t seen him in weeks,” said Roger to Roger. Slowly, Syd’s bandmate, Roger, approached the door. He opened it, his hands shaking as he faced his bandmate, and olf friend. “Syd?” he asked, looking into his glazed eyes. “Roger,” he replied. “I go by Roger now. Syd’s dead,” he said, his eyes began to water. “I’ve come to talk, maybe to apologize? I don’t know. Do you have a cigarette?” he asked.

Syd, who was now the fourth Roger, entered the room, scanning it cautiously and slowly sitting down on a nearby armchair. He held his hand, which had begun to shake. “Syd- Roger, I should be the one apologizing. None of us knew what happened. I- I didn’t know what to. You just, you disappeared from us. One day you were so full of life, and the next, your eyes, they were just... empty. I-” Before Roger could continue his monologue, Roger placed his hand on Roger’s. “Roger, please. Calm down.” He said. Roger’s voice had always been soothing and it calmed Roger immediately. The other two Rogers watched suddenly eyeing each other after Roger placed his hand on Roger’s hand. “Roger, I’m sorry,” he said, clearly wanting to continue his sentence but also visibly uncomfortable with the other two Rogers still starting at them.
“Rogers, get bent,” said Roger to the Rogers, in an attempt to make Roger more comfortable. They each went into their rooms to grab coats and left in unison. “How- how have you been, Syd?” he asked. “Roger, I mean,” he quickly corrected. “Good, good I guess. I got a new cat yesterday.” he said. “Oh that’s wonderful! What did you name him?” asked Roger. “Roger,” said Roger. “Wow that’s... interesting,” “And then I decided to change my name back so now we’re stuck with two Rogers in the house.” “Oh? You think that’s bad? Try having three.” replied Roger. They both broke out into laughter. It was the first time in a while anyone had heard Roger laugh. Their moment was broken by the sound of the front door violently swinging over. “Oh my god, look at what we found!” said the other two Rogers, entering the building quickly. With them were two other grown men. “What the f-” Roger had begun to say. “We’ve adopted them.” said Roger, pointing at the two men. One of them was a man with a distinct face. Where had Roger seen this face before? Some fictitious adventure movie maybe? And the other man, who resembled a French bulldog. “Their names are Robert, specifically Robert Downey Jr.” said Roger pointing at the movie man. “And Rami Malek,” said the other Roger, pointing to the man with large eyes. “What do you mean you’ve ‘adopted’ them. They are large, grown men!” said Roger, worried that perhaps his flatmates have taken something to ‘stimulate their senses’ before leaving the room. “Ha, something like this happened to me once when I was tripping on acid,” said Roger, laughing. All three other Rogers looked at him. “What? I was being interrogated by Russian spies. I didn’t take it willingly. At least, not that time,” said Roger, causing the other Roger to chuckle slightly. “Whatever, guess we’ll make our new children feel right at home,” said Roger to the Rogers. “Yes! Welcome robert and Rami to the House of Rogers!”
And they lived happily ever after.


“Oh- oh my, I love it when you do that,” said a man’s voice, in a thick British accent. “Yes, I know, dear,” said another voice, this one a bit higher-pitched and with a hint of Scottish overbearing the British. The first man was rock n’ roll star Jimmy Page, who was sitting on a couch in a very bland room, wearing a bathrobe. Up to his neck was pressed a large, cold knife. It was shining clean, the silver reflecting the little light that was in the room. The man wielding the knife was an infamous demon by the name of Crowley. He pressed the knife slightly harder, bringing fear into Jimmy’s eyes. “Now, now, we don’t exactly want blood on this new furniture,” he said, slightly trembling. “Well, I can make it vanish. I can do anything. But you know that, don’t you,” said Crowley, further intimidating Jimmy. A nervous chuckle escaped his mouth, but was soon halted by a deep kiss from Crowley. The two men had moved into an ancient home called the Boleskine House, which was owned by having been the home of author and occultist Aleister Crowley, not to be confused with the demon Crowley. Or maybe they were the same person. That was something Jimmy would never know...
At that moment, Crowley grabbed the collar of Jimmy’s bathrobe, bringing the kife up from his neck to directly in front of his face. He licked the length of the knife, his breath leaving a film of fog behind on the silver. He then threw the knife at an incredible velocity across the room, causing it to stick into the house’s ancient wooden frame. Once again they kissed, this time Crowley bringing his whole weight onto Jimmy’s lap. His kisses then began to move downward from his mouth to an opening in Jimmy’s bathrobe, right over his chest. Crowley stood back up, walked to the other end of the room, beginning to undo his belt. The metal buckle hit the floor loudly, and then Crowley took off his shirt, his back still faced to his lover. Jimmy, meanwhile stared at him, considering every movement of Crowley’s a work of art as he admired the demon’s thin muscles gracefully remove his clothing. Crowley now stood facing him, wearing only his underwear with a small, red heart embroidered on the front. “How cute!” said Jimmy, giggling. “Don’t patronize me,” said Crowley, trying to act tough but internally enjoying Jimmy’s comment. “Take off the robe, it’s in the way,” commanded Crowley, hissing slightly. Jimmy, obeyed, standing up and slowly revealing his thin body. His long, curly hair made its way towards the top of his collarbones, as he stood there, fully revealed. Crowley summoned the knife from the wall, catching it perfectly in his hands. He used it as a staff to command Jimmy to get into the bedroom, following him with the weapon like a prison guard would a prisoner. Jimmy got onto the bed, and this time, Crowley carelessly dropped the knife onto the floor and jumped in, embracing the man. There dark red silk sheets covered their bodies only partly, so that parts of their skin still showed, creating a red and white abstract work of art on the bed. They fucked in the ass until sunlight shown through the partly exposed window.