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Summer Tear

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It’s a breezy Sunday and as I walk through the park, I feel nostalgic. I have so many memories in this place and somehow, everything goes back to the last time I was with him. Heh. Reminiscing. What kept repeating to my mind up to this moment is the event that takes place a while ago. It was the most magical event that I’ve ever been and sadly, I didn’t partake in that event for I was afraid that I might ruin it.

Receiving the invitation just a few days ago had my heart stop beating. Not in a million years did I think that I would be receiving such letter from him. I put my hand inside my pocket to feel the paper that I want to drop off somewhere near here. I guess it’ll get there in time once the party is done...or maybe not. Either way, I hope that he’s really happy now. That’s one of my wish, for him to be happy even if I’m not the reason for that happiness.



└I saw you getting married today. She looked gorgeous on her wedding dress and you, you still looked the same tall guy with a beautiful eyes that I ever seen. And your smile? It was the most heartfelt smile I’ve seen from you. Everything came back all at once to me, from our very first encounter at Shuutoku to our last talk about your plan of studying in the US. During my stay in Shuutoku, everything was almost perfect. We’re teammates in the basketball team, they even called us the ‘Light and Shadow of Shuutoku’ until I confessed. I thought you’ll be disgusted with me, but we took it to the next level so we became official. Every day was so happy and fulfilling. Remembered the time in our final year when you asked me what I’ll be taking in college? I thought it wouldn’t matter even if I don’t go to college because I’m contented just to be with you. But then, you told me that you had a plan of studying abroad for your chosen course. I was shocked then. How am I supposed to get any scholarship to go with you abroad, right? However, you told me that it was just a plan and you still have to take entrance exam in Tokyo University. That calmed me down though there’s a nagging feeling inside me that there’s something more but I discarded it. We remained faithful to each other of our relationship and that’s all that matters to me.

And a few days, it’s our graduation day! It was the most memorable day of my life. I graduated with the love of my life and we’ll be on our road to forever. But it ended up to forNEVER.

Few weeks after graduation, you became cold towards me. Did I do something stupid that you didn’t like? I asked you for the reason and your reason was, ‘I’m confused’. Confused of what? Did you hit your head? That isn’t, right? So what, pray tell really happened to you? Why? How?

After that, I didn’t hear anything from you. I thought you were trying to get your head straight or you were busy studying for your entrance at Todai and I don’t want to distract you from it. If I didn’t went out for a drink with Miyaji-san, I wouldn’t even know that you were already on your way to the airport leaving for the US me behind.

What happened to us?

While I’m on my way home, six days after I've heard the news, you called. It was so short that I thought my phone was broken. The only thing I catch was ‘I love you but I’m sorry.’ Sorry for what? For leaving without telling me? Or were you sorry for the relationship between us?

It was the last thing I ever heard from you. And then someone told me that you were coming back to marry but not to me. It hurts so much because there wasn’t even a proper closure and it feels like a thousand knives just cut me because I expected you to talk to me. I waited for you with the thought of you coming back to me. And again, I was upset but I know I have no right to be.

I still remembered everything and I still miss you and I love you so much but I know that I have to let you go. I hope you’re truly happy now. I guess all those years we’ve been together weren’t enough and I’ll never be enough for you. She can give you that one thing I can’t- a family. Take care of her and your future children.

Congratulations and best wishes, Mr. and Mrs. Shintarou Midorima

Takao Kazunari┐