I scratched at my newly forming beard. You’d think after having one for several years while on the run, I would have gotten use to the facial hair.
I shaved it off right before the whole mess with Thanos and the infinity stones. I kept it off for a whole year.
Several people have mentioned they liked me with facial hair, so I thought, why the hell not. Grow it back.
I forgot how it takes some getting use to. Although, it’s sort of exciting to even be able to grow one. Considering pre-serum I couldn’t even grow chest hair, let alone a full beard.
“Beard’s coming along nicely I see. Makes you look older though.”
My eyes cut over to Bucky. He was sitting in the copilot seat in the Quinjet. His legs were stretched out and an altogether relaxed demeanor had me smiling.
He’s been more relaxed these last few months.
I have Natasha to thank for that.
She and Bucky are sleeping together. Not sure how it all started, but I can definitely tell you the affect it’s had on my best friend.
He smiles more now, for one. Laughs too. Not that he didn’t before, but now, it’s a laugh that feels truly genuine and not forced.
They think they’re being sneaky, telling no one about what they are doing. But I knew something right off the bat was different about him. Natasha, not so much.
She’s a harder nut to crack. Definitely a little better at being stealthy and keeping secrets.
I just so happen to see her go into his quarters late one night. The next morning, Bucky had a bounce to his step.
Didn’t take a genius like Stark to figure out what happened.
Plus the nail marks down his back are a dead giveaway.
He was changing shirts in the locker room in the gym and though it was fast, I definitely caught a glimpse of them.
I was a bit hurt at first that he hasn’t come to me and told me what’s going on. But I suppose he has his reasons.
Hell, I wouldn’t doubt it if Tasha threatened him within an inch of his life if he spilled the beans.
She’s a very private person and God knows, if Tony got a wiff of anything sexual going on between the two, she’d never hear the end of it.
“You got the same beard, so I wouldn’t be talking old man. You are older than I am, remember?”
”Oh trust me, you won’t let me forget.”
Tasha walked up behind us.
I glanced over at Bucky and noticed how he sat up just a little straighter.
“We should be in Philadelphia in about fifteen minutes. Our contact should be rendezvousing with us just on the outskirts, south of the city.”
She nodded and checked her watch.
“Cutting it a little close there Rogers. If we’re even two minutes late we’ll miss our window of opportunity to infiltrate the cell.”
I nodded in understanding. Knowing full well that we should have left sooner, but our contact was late checking in to give us the final details we needed to complete our mission.
“I’m well aware. Don’t worry, I’ll get us there. What’s Clint’s timeframe for extraction? Has he sent word that he’ll be in the clear? Or will he be with the buying party?”
She seemed uneasy. Bucky picked up on it immediately.
“What? What’s wrong? Has he not checked in with you?”
Once we found out there was a Hydra cell growing in number in Philadelphia, Clint volunteered to go under cover to infiltrate. Gather intelligence and be the go between with us and our informant.
He may have his family back, but the need to take out the low life’s in the world, is still weighing heavily on his mind and heart.
“He was suppose to check in over an hour ago. It’s not like Clint to be late. Something had to have happened.”
She kept glancing out the the cockpit window and down at her watch. You could almost feel the tension rolling off of her.
Bucky was concerned, I’m sure for Clint, but I could tell he wanted to do something to make her feel better. I could see it eating away at him.
I suppressed a smile as I caught him out of the corner of my eye reaching out to her. He held her bicep gently in his hand and stroked his thumb back and forth.
“I’m sure he’s fine. Don’t worry. We’ll be there soon.”
I halfway expected her to shove off his hand, since it was done in front of everyone. Well, everyone as in me, Sam and Tony.
Speaking of the Devil. Said Genius is snoring away in one of the seats. Apparently Morgan was sick last night and kept him and Pepper up most the night.
It’s still nice seeing Tony be a family man. He’s taken to it like I always knew he would.
Eventually Tasha walked toward the back. I couldn’t help but laugh a little as you suddenly hear Tony curse.
”Alright! Jesus! I’m up! I’m up! Give a guy a break, would ya. I’m working on less than an hours sleep here.”
Tasha snorted and I could hear a zipper going up. She was suiting up.
“You’ve gone weak Tony. I remember when you use to go without sleep for almost three days. Being a father has made you soft.”
I could tell she was only kidding him. But, she’s not wrong. I think Morgan keeps Tony busier than he ever was by himself.
“Normally I’d argue against that, but I’d only be lying.”
Ten minutes later, everyone was suited up and ready.
Our contact sent us new coordinates last minute. Stating it was unavoidable due to a change in the sellers plans.
The original plan was to ambush the cell as they made contact with a foreign arms dealer. He’s in the country selling alien weapon technology to the highest bidder.
It didn’t help that there are those still affiliated with Hydra that have deep pockets.
Our goal is to take out the buyer and the seller. Two birds, one stone.
Not to mention confiscate the alien weapons and destroy them so they won’t fall into the wrong hands again.
It didn’t sit well with me that the plans changed. But what were we to do? Cancel the mission?
Hydra was and still is a pestilence on the world and they needed to be taken down. Permanently!
Rerouting to the north, we set down in behind an abandoned warehouse.
My stomach churned with unease.
I didn’t like being this close to downtown Philly. Too many things could go wrong and the possibility of civilians getting hurt in the crossfire is so much greater.
Our only positive in all of this is that it was close to 1am, so the odds of people being out and about are slim.
We definitely didn’t need anymore loss of civilian life on our hands. We’ve got plenty enough blood on our hands as it is.
We used the cover of darkness to maneuver ourselves into position. Our targets should be arriving any moment.
I held tight to my new Shield Tony made me. The weight a comfort against my arm, grounding me in place, helping me to focus.
Tasha circled the building to come in from the north and Bucky doing the same except from the south. Sam took the West closest to the back exit, just in case someone ran that way to elude capture.
Tony took to the skies and kept an Ariel view.
Me, I’m right in the thick of it. Hiding behind a broken and crumbling wall that definitely looked as if it were one strong wind gust away from falling over.
Considering the whole thing probably weighed several tons, I was careful not to lean against it.
Listening devices were planted throughout the building and surrounding areas so we could hear every single word said, once the transaction went down.
We needed proof of the sale to have evidence for the authorities to take them to trail and convict.
Hell, we even had video surveillance.
”Heads up, we got incoming. Four vehicles coming from the South East and three from the North. Looks like it’s showtime boys and girls. Well, girl.”
I pressed my earpiece and answered.
“Keep a watch out for Clint. Stay sharp, we can’t let these Bastards get away.”
Tasha, Bucky then Sam all chime in.
”Right back atcha Rogers.”
”Let’s do this.”
The lights of the vehicles entering the old building had my muscles tight with tension, ready to spring into action.
Once all the players were in place, it would be time to strike. But first we needed our evidence.
The black Suv’s had heavily tinted windows to where you couldn’t see anything through them. Definitely a vehicle you want to remain incognito.
I found it odd that they all drove around and positioned themselves in a large circle. Definitely not your usual M.O. for an illegal deal.
Normally the buyer would position themselves for a hasty getaway if the need arises. But this, this made my hackles go up and alarms start blaring in my head.
Apparantly I wasn’t the only one.
Tasha hissed out into the coms.
”I don’t like this, something’s not right.”
Bucky and Sam agreed.
Tony spoke up and practically screamed a warning into my ear.
”Steve! Get your ass out of there! I’m picking up strange energy readings coming from the SUV nearest your position!”
Just as I made to peer around the wall to get a good look at the vehicle in question, a window rolled down and a long silver device slid into view.
I barely had a second to register that it was a weapon and it discharged.
A bright blue ball of energy shot out of the barrel and came straight toward me.
Well, technically the wall.
Tony, Tasha, Sam and Bucky were all screaming in my ear to run, but it was too late.
The wall fell, right on top of me.
I managed to maneuver myself in a way as it collapsed, that my Shield held off most of the wall from crushing me.
I screamed out in pain as I was slammed into the ground and used all my strength to try and push the wall off of me.
I could feel blood pooling under me, no telling what damage was done. All I knew was I was in pain and I wouldn’t be able to keep the bulkiest part of the wall from crushing me to death.
I could hear a fight going on and loud blasts from the alien weapon going off as my friends fought the enemy.
Meanwhile I was fighting for my life.
I could taste blood in my mouth and warm trickles of the thick substance running down my face and into my beard and hair.
My muscles trembled as I used all my strength and stamina to push against the wall.
I had a brief moment that I thought to myself, of all things, this is how I was going to die.
The wall cracked and pushed harder onto my abdomen and chest, making it almost impossible to catch my breath.
I could feel the life being crushed right out of me.
Just as I was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen, I felt the wall start to lift up off of me. Air rushing forcefully into my lungs.
I gasped and coughed up blood.
For a second, I half expected to see Tony in his suit lifting the wall. But what I did see was nothing even close to that.
There, standing half in and out of the shadows, stood a small woman. She wore dirty baggy clothes and a hoodie covered the top of her head that cast her face in darkness.
Her eyes were glowing bright red and she was engulfed totally in flames. Flames that were not burning her.
Instead, the flames were stretched out from her body and covered the stone wall, lifting it miraculously off my battered and bruised body.
The flames intensified and turned a bright blue. I knew I should be feeling the heat from it, but all I could feel was gusting of a slightly warmer wind surrounding me.
I watched in awe and the concrete literally disintegrated right before my eyes. Not even dust was left.
The whole wall just disappeared into thin air. It almost appeared as if the wall was taken apart molecule by molecule, leaving only me laying bloody in its place.
The fire disappeared just as quickly as it started.
Flashes from the fire fight lit up her once hidden face. Her eyes, wide with fear, returned to their normal color, a bright crystal blue.
We locked eyes for a mere few seconds before she ran off into the shadows.
Soon after darkness overtook me.
My last fleeting thought escaped my lips, in a pained rush of air just before I passed out.
”Who the hell was that?!”
Full consciousness was evading me. Bits and pieces of my surroundings filtering in.
The first thing I felt was the pain. Intense searing pain that made my teeth clench and cry out when someone tried to move me.
My eyes opened to a black sky above me, Tony to my right, screaming. I’m not even sure at who. I think I heard my name. Everything felt hazy.
The next time I opened my eyes, we were in the Quinjet. Tasha was leaning over me, a weak worried smile on her face as she saw me open my eyes.
“Hey, it’s ok, just stay with me Steve. We’re getting you help. Just stay with me.”
Not that I didn’t want to. Because I did. Sweet darkness enveloped me all over again.
It was better in the dark. The pain wasn’t so excruciating.
Again I opened my eyes. This time Bucky held my other hand, the world around me moving at a quick pace.
A gurney...I think I’m on a gurney.
Someone grabbed Bucky and pulled him away from me. My eyes tried to follow him, but was soon overwhelmed with a bright light.
A nurse was shining something in my eyes. Voices all around me in rushed high tones.
I could hear my heartbeat. It was slow. It shouldn’t be that slow? Right?
A tingling sensation spread from my chest outwards and I felt as if I was being crushed all over again. The lights around me started to fade.
One last voice I heard before everything went black again.
“We’re losing him! We’re losing him! Code blue!”
I can hear my heartbeat again. This time it’s strong and steady. The beeping almost a soothing sound as I slowly woke up.
My heavy eyelids crept open and blinked to adjust to the bright lights of the hospital room I was in.
So I didn’t die after all.
I swallowed and felt how dry and scratchy my throat was, needing water like no ones business. My body was sore, but nothing compared to the pain I was in earlier.
However long ago that was.
”I swear to God, if you say, On your left again, I’ll cut off all sponge baths.”
My eyes landed on the voice to my right and I couldn’t help but give a weak smile at Sam.
I gave a gravelly response that made him smile right back at me. Perhaps even a smirk or two.
”Then quit being on my right when I wake up. Besides, sponge baths are the best part.”
“How about you just stop trying to get yourself killed and you can have as many sponge baths as you want.”
I wanted to come back with a snarky response, only to go into a coughing fit, causing all kinds of alarms and buzzers to go off.
Nurses and a Doctor came into my room and tried to help me breath better by giving me oxygen.
In the process, Bucky, Tasha and Tony all came rushing in, eyes wide as they tried to figure out what was going on.
Eventually, my breathing was back under control and I was left alone to rest and recover.
Well, the hospital staff left me alone. My friends, not so much. In fact if I didn’t know any better, I’d say some were pissed off.
“What the hell were you thinking Rogers? I don’t yell at you to get the hell out of there for shits n giggles. Why didn’t you run?”
Ah, Tony. Always cutting directly to the point. Even if it is at weird times.
Then Bucky chimed in.
”Do you have a death wish?! Dammit Steve, do you even know how close you came to dying. Fuck that! You did die! You coded three times in the damn ER before they got you stable enough for surgery. Do you have any idea what that did to me? To all of us?”
I looked at Tasha for some kind of help, I wasn’t sure. Back up maybe?
”Don’t go and give me puppy dog eyes. After all these years, I’m immune, so don’t even try. But, I will say this. I’m glad you’re gonna be ok Steve. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
They began to talk about the mission back and forth as I watched them. Waiting for them to finally say what I’ve been eager to know since I woke up.
Not a word.
Fine, if they won’t bring it up, I will.
”So, no one going to talk about the huge elephant in the room? About the fact that an enhanced saved my life. Have you been able to find her?”
They all glanced around at each other. I frowned, wondering why they didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Especially with me.
Bucky seemed to bite the bullet and talk first.
”We had other things to worry about Steve. We didn’t even know if you would pull through. Going and looking for some strange girl with freaky powers wasn’t really high on our priority list.”
It was in that moment that I could see the toll the last twenty-four hours had on them.
“Well, now you know I’ll be fine. What do we need to do to find her?”
Leave it to Tony to have all the answers.
“We did have the area under audio and video surveillance. It shouldn’t take Friday long to figure out where the girl was headed when she ran like a bat out of hell to get away from there. I mean, I’d love to find her too, because Holy Hell was that something to witness. But we may need to come to grips with the fact she doesn’t want to be found. Otherwise why run away. We’re the good guys.”
I nodded along with him, all the while trying to reach out to a cup of water sitting by my bedside. I grimaced at how weak and sore I was.
Tasha reaches the glass first and held the straw to my lips, allowing me to take a few deep draws of the ice cold liquid. It helped to soothe my scratchy throat.
She gave one nod and set the cup closer to me.
Ever since Thanos, Tasha has been showing more of her true self to everyone. I think she finally sees how important our little rag tag group of misfits are and that we’re a family.
“She looked scared. I don’t blame her. From the way she looked, she could be homeless. I think we may have just intruded in on her sleeping arrangements. I’d be a little freaked out too. If she’s that scared, we need to help her. Plus, she’s an advanced. We definitely need to reach out to her before Hydra does. Because if we know about her now, so do they.”
They all agreed and Tony and Tasha said they would get right on it to find the girl.
I owed her my life apparently. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have survived.
Even if she refuses our help and doesn’t wish to be an Avenger, she still deserves my gratitude for her help. She didn’t have to expose herself like that and she did.
By the following day, I was well enough to be discharged and head home to the Avengers Compound. Rest and relaxation are doctors orders for the next week.
I doubt I’ll even listen, considering I was already feeling about 80% better, thanks to the serum.
Bucky was walking with me to my quarters, making sure I at least took it easy for one more day.
He knows me too well. Especially when he realized I was heading to my office instead of my room. He quickly made me detour with a stern enough look that would have rivaled my own mother.
I debated with myself on whether or not to bring up Tasha with him. It’s been on my mind for a while. It’s not like Bucky to keep stuff like this from me.
Just because I’ve sworn off love, doesn’t mean he has to.
Bucky never had anyone special before the war, or even after. I doubt he was given the opportunity for intimacy while on the run after DC.
Its kinda nice seeing this gentler side to him. Even if he didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me about it. At least I can see the effects it’s had on him.
”You feeling alright? Any more pain?”
I was settling in on the couch, trying to get comfortable as I thought about Bucky and Tasha.
I shrugged and leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling.
”I’m fine, nothing another twenty-four hours won’t cure and a good night’s sleep.”
He made a humming sound that made me think he didn’t quite believe me. In fact I know he didn’t.
”Sure, if you say so, then it must be true.”
His tone had had an edge to it that I caught onto immediately. He almost sounded pissed off all over again.
What the hell did I do now?
”What’s got you all bent out of shape? I’m the one who almost died. How come you’re in a pissy mood all of a sudden?”
To tell you the truth, his attitude was starting to grate on my nerves since I woke up.
He sighed heavily and plopped down hard next to me on the couch. He took up the stance I was just in. Head back and eyes cast to the ceiling.
”Nothing. Nothing’s wrong...precisely. It’s just, well, it’s just fucked up. This whole thing is just totally fucked up.”
I sat up a little straighter. Well as much as I could anyway. I was still quite sore.
I turned toward him and saw the tortured look on his face. For once, I didn’t know why it was there.
”Care to explain why you think that way? Perhaps even shed some light on exactly what precisely is so fucked up.”
He pushed himself angrily off the couch and paced in front of me.
“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about! You, cussing like it’s second nature. You didn’t use to be that way Steve. If I even said the word Hell, I’d get that stern look of disappointment that you do so well.”
Ok, so I cuss more. So what! What is he getting at exactly?
”Yeah, everyone just loved it sooo much when I did that too, didn’t they? I don’t see the problem here. So I talk like everyone else, what’s the big deal?”
He raked his hands through his hair and growled in frustration.
“Dammit Steve! You’ve changed since Thanos!”
Anger boiled deep inside me at just the mention of his name.
I stood up, ignoring the pain shooting through my healing body of once several broken ribs, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, two broken legs, shattered pelvis and three cracked vertebrae.
“Don’t even mention that monster’s name in my presence!”
His eyes widened and he took a step back, not use to me screaming back at him this way. I usually keep it all in.
”Of course I fucking changed! The whole world did in the wake of his damn Snap. I lost everyone all over again Bucky! You included. How many times can I do that and just stay the same sweet Steve Rogers. Huh? How many more times?”
”I had a chance right at my fingertips to go back and live the life I always wanted. To be with Peggy, get married and have a family like a normal fucking human being. But instead, I chose to do the right thing and not the selfish thing. And there isn’t a damn day that goes by that I don’t regret that decision!”
I walked away from him, pain shooting up my spine and caused my legs to give out slightly. I caught myself on the back of the couch, hissing in pain.
He made to come help me, but I held my hand up and shook my head. He knew better than to push me.
“I’m tired of living my life around everyone else’s needs. I’m done playing the good little soldier. So what if I’ve changed? Not like anyone else out there really gives a shit about me. The real me. They only care when I’m able to do for them what they want. It’s never about what I want. The moment I didn’t follow their wishes to a T, I’m thrown out like yesterday’s trash and branded a criminal. Those are not the kind of people I want to do a God Damn thing for. Never again!”
I looked up at my best friend and regretted taking all my frustrations out on him.
Especially when I saw the hurt look on his face.
”I get it Steve. Trust me, I do. I even get the need to finally do something for yourself, when you’ve always been in the service of others. But that’s not the only part of you that’s changed. You no longer smile like you use to. You’re so jaded and hardened to the thought of caring for someone, that I can’t even tell my best friend that I’ve finally fallen in love.”
I immediately regretted blowing up at him. Seeing him hurt was never something I wanted to do.
”Buck, I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like you couldn’t talk to me. Just because it’s not in the cards for me and I’ve lost my chance, doesn’t mean I think the same for you. Of course you can come to me. I want you to come and tell me when you fall in love.”
He sighed and obviously got tired of me struggling to stand on my own. He came to me and hooked his metal arm around my waist and helped me stand straight.
“Come on you idiot, let’s get you to bed before you fall over and break something else.”
He walked me into the bedroom and helped me undress down to my boxer briefs and slip under the covers.
He turned off the bedside lamp and began to walk out.
“Hey, wait up. You never told me who you’re in love with?”
He smirked back at me and gave a wink.
”You damn well know who it is.”
I nodded and smiled back.
”Yeah, I guess I do.”
He left, leaving me to rest and to think about what he said.
I knew I’d changed, but not to the extent that Bucky suggested.
I don’t smile like I use to?
I’ve been so wrapped up in my own misery that I’ve lost who I use to be completely.
I can never go back, not fully. My heart has changed too much to ever do that.
If I’ve learned anything tonight, it’s that I need to not push my jaded perspective on everyone else around me.
I was just about to dose off, my body finally relaxing enough and my mind calming down, when my ears picked up on something that wasn’t there previously.
”What do you want Tasha?”
I looked over at my bedroom door and she stepped into view. The light glow from the bathroom light highlighted her figure.
“Good to know that wall didn’t destroy your hearing.”
I gave a light laugh.
”One of the only few things it didn’t damage.”
She stood there in my doorway for a few moments in silence. I knew why she was here.
“So, you here to threaten me into silence about you and Bucky? Because I doubt you’re here in concern over my well-being or to tuck me in.”
That did earn me one of her trademark smirks. A smile that didn’t show any teeth, but made me to believe she was suppressing her true response.
“Threaten is such a harsh word. I’d say, warn you with risks of consequences.”
“You do realize that’s the same as threaten, right?”
She smiled even bigger, this time showing her perfect straight white teeth.
“James insisted that you know about us. Some sort of old fashioned friendship code or something like that. Not that I’m happy about it. But he is, so it’s a good thing I can trust you with this and not tell everyone. Right?”
I gave her a single nod. Of course I wouldn’t tell anyone if that’s the way they wanted it. But I also knew they wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret forever.
Especially since I know how affectionate Bucky can be toward women he’s involved with. If he’s really in love with her, there’s no way he’ll hide it well for an extended amount of time.
”James huh? He approve of that name?”
She tuned to leave and smiled at me over her shoulder.
”Oh, he definitely approves.”
Without a sound, she left. I didn’t even hear my front door open and close.
I smiled and settled back down into my bed. I knew she’d let me hear her come in the first time. She only proved that theory by how she left.
I knew without a doubt I’d keep their secret. Natasha was not one you wanted to piss off.
I have no doubt that she could sneak up on me any time she so wished. Tonight was proof of that.
Despite the threat, I knew she was good for Bucky. They both knew what it’s like to have your humanity stripped from you and then given a second chance.
They make each other stronger.
I couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy.
Peggy’s face entered my mind and regret flooded my senses.
The one and only woman I’ve ever loved was dead and gone. I’d never get a chance at a love like that again.
Sleep once again evaded me as I recalled that fateful decision I made when taking the stones back to their proper timelines.
The choice I made that killed my chance at true happiness.
Now my life was about the next mission. Destroying Hydra and everything they hold dear.
My thoughts once again returned to the girl who saved my life. Her powers were absolutely phenomenal! I definitely wanted someone like her on my side, fighting the evils of this world.
I just hope we are able to get to her before Hydra does.
Light rain came down in a fine mist. Not enough to soak me through, but definitely enough to make me feel damp and uncomfortable.
I adjusted my hoodie to pull it more over my head to shield me from the rain.
I had managed to scavenge some eyeliner one of the department stores were just going to throw away and my eyes for once were bangin.
Just because I’m homeless doesn’t mean I have to always look like shit. Sometimes a girl just wants to feel pretty. Even if it is just for myself.
Usually people ignore me, which is a good thing. The less attention I put on myself the better.
The people I’m running from haven’t caught me yet and I planned for it to stay that way. I’ll go down fighting if I have to. I’m never going back to the way things were.
I peered up through my damp dark lashes and saw the mission a few blocks ahead. My stomach growled, looking forward to the one and only meal I get a day.
If it weren’t for the mission, I’m not sure how I would be able to feed myself. Or clothe myself for that matter.
I glanced down at the black skinny jeans with a hole in one knee, black combat boots that have seen more than one season and the black hoodie I wore.
All thanks to the mission.
Well everything except my black leather jacket.
That I got from a biker six months ago when I hustled him in a game of pool. It definitely helped to keep me warmer this past winter.
I personally think he lost on purpose just so I could have the jacket. He knew I was homeless, so perhaps he took pity on me.
No matter, I would have beaten him blindfolded even if he didn’t.
One of the few things I was allowed at the Hydra compound in my rooms was a pool table.
No one was ever allowed to play with me. Hell, no one was ever allowed to even converse with me unless it was in the process of one of their tests or procedures they were doing to me.
Back then, I was known only as PX23. It wasn’t a name per say, but a designation. I was little more than property to those bastards.
Once half the world disappeared, it gave me the opportunity to escape. Of course once I actually left, I had no idea how the real world worked.
It wasn’t until much later that I even discovered how completely different I was from the rest of humanity.
If you want to call me human.
I didn’t have a mother or a father.
I didn’t come from the act of intercourse or even artificial insemination.
I was created.
I may not talk much, but I do listen.
I heard the scientists talking about me and how I was made.
They felt no need to hide anything from me, since to them, I was nothing more than just another experiment to play with.
They took genetic material from humans called mutants. With that DNA, they were looking to create the perfect soldier.
They weren’t expecting me.
Or I should say, how I turned out.
For one, someone fucked up and I was a girl. Apparently they wanted a boy.
But instead of disposing of me, they decided I was still good for something.
My telekinesis manifested when I was 12 years old. This made them very happy. They would push me to the brink of sanity on the limits to those powers.
They taught me to destroy.
I hated every single second.
Then when I was 18, they injected me with something called a tweaked version of Super Soldier Serum.
I nearly died.
The outcome of their experiment though, had them completely over the fucking moon.
Not only was I faster, stronger and smarter, but my powers changed dramatically.
Before, I could just move things with my mind. Now, I can literally take apart anything, living or not, down to its basic molecular structures.
They once taught me to destroy, but after the serum, they taught me to kill.
I knew I had to escape. But fear of the unknown and the outside world kept me frozen in place. That is until fate stepped in and allowed me the chance at freedom.
I didn’t care if I had no roof over my head or a full belly at night. I was free.
Free from the pain of their experiments and the beatings that would come if I refused to bend to their will.
The bell above the door at the mission chimes as I entered the building. The smells instantly making me feel ten times more hungry than I was before I came in.
Familiar faces of those I knew from the streets looked up at the sound and nodded at me in recognition.
I nodded back.
The room was packed.
It usually is if it’s raining or really cold outside.
There wasn’t a single open seat.
I guess this meal would have to be to go.
I waited patiently through the line and smiled politely at all the servers as they made me my to go bad of food.
I peaked inside and smiled at the contents. A yummy ham sandwich, an apple, banana and a small bag of chips. Barbecue flavored.
Last but not least, I was able to get a cold bottle of water to take with me.
I waved at the older man at the end of the line that handed me my water and thanked him.
”You be careful out there Nix and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I smiled at his nickname for me and wished him a good day as well.
He was one of the good ones.
Always polite and never treated us as less than anyone else.
Probably because he use to be where we are now.
He ended up getting a job and saving up money to get him a small place just down the street from the mission.
He still volunteers there every single day after work.
He is the reason I believe not all humans are bad.
I walked outside and the rain was starting to come down just a bit harder.
Great, I guess dinner will be a soggy ham sandwich after all.
I picked up my pace and tried to make it back to my little hideout before I started to look like a complete drowned rat.
After the incident with the Avengers, I had to find a new place to sleep.
Wasn’t about to go back there after what happened. Especially since the ones the Avengers were fighting were the same assholes who created me.
Well, not exactly the same people, but close enough. I wasn’t about to go back to being their little plaything. I’d kill every single one of them first before I’d let them take me back.
It was risky helping the one called Captain America.
I guess he’s not called that anymore.
Which I find totally stupid if you ask me.
After the population was restored, the government apparently decided with a fucking vote no less, that Steve Rogers was no longer able to call himself Captain America.
They deemed the name a trademark of the government and since he was now working outside of said government, he couldn’t use the name anymore.
People on the streets call him Nomad. A man without a country. He and his ragtag group of Avengers work outside local and international laws.
They’ve given up trying to stop them, because they know they can’t. Because they tried. So now, they just kind of allow it to happen. Yet condemn their actions in the news and call them vigilantes.
Well, as I see it, good for them.
Fuck the government!
They definitely didn’t do anything good for me. I was experimented on right under their noses and they acted as if it was no big deal.
So even though I put myself at risk by helping, I couldn’t just stand by and let Steve Rogers die.
Not when they help so many people, and want to take down and destroy the same people I’d love to do the same.
Plus, they are pretty bad ass, so in other words, they’re cool in my book.
I groaned as I slipped through a large crack in the wall of the abandoned building that was barely big enough for me to fit through.
Good thing I’m so skinny I guess.
It wasn’t much, but at least it was dry and got me out of the cold. I will definitely be glad when spring gets here in a couple weeks.
The building use to be an apartment complex, but now it’s condemned due to the foundation falling apart, and an apparent black mold problem.
I didn’t have to worry about the black mold. I couldn’t get sick. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told in the past.
A fire destroyed half the building about four months ago, so the homeless that were using it as a place to stay, vacated and never came back.
I guess I can see why. It looks like a strong wind may come along and blow it over any second.
Well, I guess it’s a good thing I can move things with my mind then, huh?
I hummed a tune I heard a while back as I made my way through the fallen beams and crumbled brick and drywall.
I crawled through a hole that led to my bedroom, so to speak, looking forward to stuffing my face till I couldn’t eat anymore.
I knew it wouldn’t happen of course. There was never that much food. I was good to just slightly satisfy the intense hunger that was always there.
High metabolism can suck sometimes.
I sat down Indian style and smiled to myself as I began taking the items out of my brown paper bag.
The smell of the ham made my mouth water. God that’s going to taste so fucking good!
I had just unwrapped my sandwich and leaned in for the first bite, when I heard it.
Very faint, but I heard them. My enhanced hearing came in handy to keep me out of many sticky situations.
I rushed toward the hole that led out of the little room, only to freeze when I realized the steps were just on the other side of the wall I came through.
My first thought was it was Hydra, coming to take me back.
I quickly ran back away from the hole and watched the opening like a hawk. My hands burst into bright red flames as I poised myself for a fight, ready to take down whoever was there.
”I doubt Steve will appreciate you burning him to a crip.”
I screamed and stumbled back as a woman dressed in black dropped down from the ceiling right in front of me.
I scrambled back and plastered my back against the wall, hands flaming in front of me in a defensive pose.
”Dammit Tasha, did you have to scare her half to death?!”
I opened my eyes and peered out at the two figures now standing in front of me.
I knew who they were.
”Nomad? Black Widow? What the hell?!”
Steve Rogers frowned in confusion and looked at Natasha with a raised eyebrow.
The red haired woman smiled and gave a shrug of her shoulders.
”It’s what everyone is calling you now. I think it’s cute.”
He rolled his eyes and then returned them to me where I still sat with my hands blazing and held up in front of me.
I looked confused between the two, wondering what the hell they were even doing here.
Hopefully not to destroy this place as well. It’s suppose to get down really cold the next few nights, possibly even snow and I didn’t want to have to be stuck trying to find shelter.
Steve held up his hands as a sign of peace.
“We’re not here to hurt you, we just want to talk.”
I allowed my powers to die down but I stayed where I was. Back pressed against the cold brick wall.
I looked the two over, trying to gauge their intentions based upon their attire. There’s a lot you can tell about a person by what they wear.
Natasha was easy. She wore her usual black cat suit. So is she here for a fight?
Steve...well, he wasn’t in any sort of suit suitable for fighting. He wore black denim jeans, black T-shirt that was about one size too small and a black leather jacket not that much different than my own.
It made him look so much grittier than his previous way of dressing before the world went to shit and back again.
Not to mention, the beard was sexy as fuck.
I was about to ask them why they were there, when movement to my right caught my attention.
I stared in total and utter defeat as several rats were digging through my food and ripping apart my ham sandwich.
”Man! That was my only food! Great, just great. Now I won’t get to eat anymore until tomorrow night. Way to go fuckers!”
I almost wanted to cry because I was definitely that hungry.
I looked angrily at my two visitors and stood up, brushing dust and dirt off my pants.
”Well, I hope you two have a good excuse as to why you feel the need to come barging in on me, for the second time I might add. Now, now you’ve ruined my damn dinner. What the fuck man?! What the hell did I ever do to you except save your life?”
I propped my hands on my hips and glared at the two trespassers before me.
Natasha smirked and pointed at Steve.
”Nomad here, insisted on finding you. So, since I assume you won’t be burning him to a crisp, I’ll just wait outside.”
She gave me a good once over which I assume was to intimidate me in some fashion so I wouldn’t hurt her friend.
I grinned at her and then flipped her off.
“Yeah, you don’t scare me one bit little spider. You just run along.”
She laughed and nudged Steve’s shoulder as she passed him.
”Good luck with this one...Nomad.”
He smiled and playfully pushed her toward the hole in the wall.
”Shut up Nat, I got this. Thanks for coming. Though I doubt I’ll need backup.”
She looked over at me and how I still glanced longingly at my once lovely meal now turned rat food.
”If you say so. I’ll be hanging around...just in case.”
With a nod she crawled through the hole with a lot more graceful movements than I’ve ever done.
He looked back at me and his face took on a less formal look. A small smile forming on his lips that made him seem much younger.
Oh yeah, he’s definitely hot.
“I don’t mean to intrude on you again, and I especially didn’t want to ruin your dinner. I wanted to find you and thank you for saving my life. So, thank you.”
I stood awkwardly and shifted from foot to foot. I’ve never had anyone thank me before.
“Um, I mean, you’re welcome I guess. It’s really no big deal. I couldn’t just let you die. No matter how much it pissed me off that you ruined my sleeping arrangements.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.
”Yeah, sorry about that. Wasn’t on purpose, I assure you. But, maybe there’s something I can do to make it up to you. Make this all better.”
My eyes widened and I backed up against the wall, hands flamed up and ready to strike.
”Whoa! What the hell dude? I don’t need your dick or any part of your body touching me. Go make it up to yourself with your God given sex doll. In case the blood has completely left your brain, it’s called your right hand.”
His eyes widened in shock and he shook his head.
“What?! God no! That is not what I was insinuating at all! I was going to suggest that you come back to the Avengers compound with me. You’ll have a clean safe place to sleep and I can even replace the food that got destroyed. Plus I can guarantee it would be ten times better than a ham sandwich.”
The flames disappeared immediately. I shook my shoulders out to rid them of the tension.
”Oh, is that all? I mean not that I wouldn’t fuck you, but dude we just met and before I drop panties and bend over, you’ll definitely need to wine and dine me first.”
He had this shocked look on his face briefly before he began laughing.
“Well, that’s good to know.”
His laughter stopped as I walked over to my stuff piled up on a old gym mat and started shoving things into an old ragged backpack.
”Where are you going?”
I looked over my shoulder and preened inwardly as I saw his eyes were briefly on my ass.
“Come on Grandpa, don’t tell me you’ve already forgot your offer to feed me and let me sleep in a real bed, did ya? I mean I realize you’re getting up there in years, but surely your mind hasn’t gone that badly already? Has it?”
He shook his head and eyed me up and down as I stood before him with my backpack slung over my shoulder.
”I don’t know how old you think I am, but I’m definitely not that old. My memory is just fine thank you.”
I gave him a lewd look and slid my eyes down his body.
”Among other things.”
His smile made my heart beat just a little harder. There was definitely enough sexual tension between the two of us to sizzle the ends of my dirty brown hair.
Oh I’m gonna so fuck him one day.
He held his hand out.
I took his hand and gave it a strong handshake, grinning up at him, feeling the tingles igniting in his touch of my skin.
“How the hell are ya Steve? The name’s Phoenix, but usually my friends call me Nix. You, my fine Sir, can call me whatever the fuck you want.”
With another low laugh that seemed to vibrate his chest, he led the way out of my crumbling abode.
I watched his ass in his jeans as we crawled through the hole.
Once we got outside, I saw Natasha waiting for us next to a large black SUV.
She gave Steve a knowing smile and nodded in my direction and opened the back door to let me in.
I watched Steve walk away to go to the drivers side.
He laughed and shook his head before getting in the vehicle.
I looked back at Natasha and winked.
Once we were all seated and began buckling up, I heard Steve.
He was looking over at Natasha.
”Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
The look between them had me thinking that maybe something was there.
Never one to have much of a brain to mouth filter, I asked the question on my mind.
“You two fucking?”
They both looked back at me and at the same time spoke.
I held my hands up.
”Well, alrighty then. Let’s go. I believe I was promised a meal and a soft bed.”
Natasha laughed and Steve just glared at her with a half smile on his face as well.
“Don’t even start Tasha, I mean it.”
Not sure what their unspoken conversation was about, but I knew it was most definitely about me.
The ride in the SUV didn’t last too long. We drove to the outskirts of the city where they apparently had a damn jet waiting for them.
I’ve never flown before.
My eyes were wide as I exited the car and mouthed a ‘Wow’ as I looked the jet over.
”You Avengers sure know how to travel in style.”
I let out a whistle as I checked it out and literally found it damn awesome to say the least.
”Well, at least someone appreciates my upgrades.”
I missed the fact there was another man standing just inside the lowered ramp.
He seemed familiar somehow. His hair was longer, down to his shoulders. He had a met...
”Holy Shit dude! You’re the Winter Soldier. I remember you. You use to come by the facility I was held in. They even were talking about you training me eventually. But, you know, shit happened of course.”
His eyes widened and looked back at my two travel companions.
They too looked like I had just smacked them in the face. Steve especially.
His brow was furrowed and he took a step back from me.
I dropped my bag and held up my hands as Natasha pulled a gun and aimed it at my head.
”Whoa! Chill your tits! I mean, yeah, I guess technically I was Hydra, but not like I really had a fucking choice. Kinda hard to pick and choose where I end up when I’m a test tube baby. If you get my drift?”
The Winter Soldier...Barnes, I think his name was, I’m not quite sure, he stepped forward and seemed to really look me over.
”Wait, I think I remember you. I didn’t get to be around you that much. You were always behind a thick glass of a containment cell.”
I sighed heavily.
”Yeah, that’s it alright. Home sweet fucking home. The life of a highly classified and extremely dangerous experiment. So you can see why I took my chance when the world went the way of the Cuckoo bird and I flew the coop.”
I eyed Natasha wearily and then wiggled my hands above me.
”So can I put my hands down now, or am I going to get shot for who raised me. If you want to call it that. I promise I’m not out to getcha or ya know, whatever.”
Steve looked at Bucky and they seemed to have an unspoken conversation.
Must be nice to have that kind of connection with someone. To just know what their thinking by just the look in their eyes. Their body language.
The only body language I ever got to know well, was how hard of a beating I was going to get by how tense my handlers looked.
Steve placed a hand on The Widow’s shoulder.
”Stand down Tasha. I don’t think she’s a threat. Am I right?”
I lowered my hands as the gun went back into her thigh holster.
”Absolutely. Like seriously, you’ll get no problems out of me. I mean unless you don’t plan on producing that bed and food you promised. Then maybe you’ll have a problem. Just saying. I mean you do kind of owe me one. Two of you count the first time you crashed my pad. Three if you also count saving your hide.”
Barnes shook his head and smiled. Motioning towards the jet he told us we were all set to go.
I picked up my bag and watched as Barnes leaned in and kissed Natasha on the lips lightly as she passed him to get into the jet.
I sniggered and raised my hand up.
”My man! You hitting that? Nice.”
He laughed and gave me a high five.
I trotted up into the jet with the excitement of a child about to go on an adventure.
I stopped dead in my tracks as I came face to face with a stern looking Natasha Romanoff.
”Oh God, what now? Do I look like someone that killed your kitten when you were a child or something?”
She gave me a lopsided smirk and crossed her arms over her chest.
”Not that I’m aware of, but the day is still young. No, I think I need to stress how important it is that what you just saw between Bucky and I, stays here. It will never come out of your mouth to another soul. If it does, there won’t be anyone that will stop me in making sure your stay with us is short and you can go right back out into the streets. Do I make my self crystal clear?”
I looked over at Barnes, well, Bucky apparently, and Steve. They both were eyeing me carefully. Obviously wondering how I’d deal with her.
I reached out and pat her on the arm, giving her a smile.
”Don’t worry so much, it will make you constipated. Besides, who the hell am I gonna tell that your doing the beast with two backs with lefty over there. I don’t have any friends and definitely not a Facebook or Instagram. No worries of me sending out a snap or anything. Besides, everyone knows Snapchat is all about the filters and getting dick pics. So, I promise, my lips are sealed.”
With that said, I made a zipping motion a cross my lips and crossed my heart.
She shook her head and walked toward the pilots seat, giving me a warning glance over her shoulder.
”I’ll hold you to that promise, and everything that comes after.”
I laughed, because I knew what she was referring to.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Too bad I’m not afraid of her.
But I planned on keeping their little secret. Besides, if I want to make this little visit a more permanent stay, I definitely needed them to trust me.
Bucky went to sit in the copilot seat and Steve sat across from me as we took off toward upstate New York.
I grinned at him as I sat there Indian Style in my seat. Hoping he would try to talk to me.
I really liked this guy. He has a heart of gold, yet seems to have a bit of a dark side to him that he’s finally letting out.
Good for him, because no one, and I mean NO ONE is that good all the damn time.
How can they, with all the shit going on in the world.
I felt the need to make conversation.
”So, Steve..is it alright that I call you Steve?”
He nodded and peered up at me from where he previously seemed to just be zoned out in thought.
”Yes, Steve is fine.”
Hell yes he is.
”So, Steve. Question. When you were given the Super Soldier serum back in the forties, did you feel like your bones were breaking over and over again? Because let me tell ya, that was a bitch.”
Both he and Bucky from the front both chimed in at the same time.
Steve leaned forward in his chair a bit and seemed to look me over carefully.
”You’re telling me that you were given the Super Soldier serum as well? How? When?”
I shrugged and leaned back a bit, his closer proximity was doing things to me that I doubt would be considered appropriate at the given moment.
”I was Eighteen. I think. I kinda lost track of how old I was after a while. No birthday celebrations at Chucky Cheese for this science experiment.”
Steve looked even more confused.
”This doesn’t make any sense. After DC, Hydra’s and SHIELD’s secrets were all dumped on the internet. We combed through every bit we could find and even some that were highly encrypted. There was never any mention of the experiments you spoke of.”
I laughed. He didn’t.
”Oh come on Steve. Do you think for one moment that a secret as big as Hydra all these years didn’t have secrets inside of their secrets? My program, was so hush hush, that only a very selected few were even allowed to leave the compound I was in. What can I say, people had their own agendas. They didn’t care what the government or Hydra had to say about it.”
I spent the next forty five minutes to an hour telling him all about the PX program. I was experiment number 23. Every embryo before me, died before reaching maturity. Apparently 23 is my lucky number.
I told him all about the drugs and toxins they would test on me. Pushing my endurance and healing abilities to their absolute limit.
Hell, I even told him about how they trained me to kill.
I saw him look toward Bucky.
Yeah, I guess he and I have that in common.
I thought I’d said plenty, but from the sudden look on his face, he definitely needed to say something to me.
He sat up straighter and his eyes widened enough to make him seemed alarmed.
”Wait, you said they used DNA samples of different people to create you, right? Did they say that they were only mutants?”
I tried to think back on all the conversations I overheard.
“Well, I mean, I remember them saying mutants. But no, I guess they never actually said they were all mutants. I just assumed. From what I do remember, I was created using DNA from three women and one man.”
The jet jolted slightly as we landed on the tarmac of the Avengers Compound.
Natasha and Bucky were already up and heading our way to exit the jet.
Bucky looked confused at Steve’s questioning. So did Natasha at first, then her eyes too widened and kept looking between me and Bucky.
OK, they’re starting to freak me out now. What the hell is going on.
Natasha walked around me, looking me over closely as I stood up.
”I knew there was something almost..familiar about her. I couldn’t put my finger on it. But now, now I can see it. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. Steve, I think you’re on to something.”
Oh for fuck’s sake!
”Ok, you’re freaking me out. What the hell are you talking about?! And what does it have to do with my genetic parentage?”
Steve ran a hand through his hair and he began to pace. He seemed lost in thought.
”Phoenix, Bucky was experimented on too.”
I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes.
”Alright, well, cool, we can join a club together or something. What’s the point?”
Bucky seemed to catch on to what’s being insinuated, though I was still in the dark, because he suddenly became very pale and staggered back away from me and into a seat.
His eyes were wide as they looked up at me.
“You have got to be shitting me?!”
I literally wanted to smack every single one of them within an inch of their lives.
”What are you talking about? I swear to all that is Holy, I will dissolve you where you stand if you don’t fucking tell me what’s going on!”
Steve reached out and placed his hands on my shoulders, looking me squarely in the eyes, his face taking a serious expression.
”Hydra’s files on Bucky mentioned them using his DNA in experiments in regards to the Super Soldier serum. They never mentioned what those experiments were. How old are you?”
My mind began to wrap around what he was insinuating and I looked over at Bucky, his face ashen.
“I, I don’t really know for certain. I mean if I had to guess, I’d say I’m about somewhere between twenty-five and twenty-seven years old. Why? When did the files say his DNA was taken?”
Bucky was the one to answer.
”Twenty-six years ago.”
My legs gave out and I slumped back into my seat.
My heart was beating so hard and fast that I thought for sure everyone in that jet could hear it.
Could it be true?
Is Bucky my father?
I chanced a look up and Bucky and I locked eyes on each other.
Our hair was the same color.
Though my eyes were a slight brighter blue, the shape of our eyes were the same as well.
The more I looked at him, the more I began to realize that we in fact looked very similar indeed.
Without much warning, Bucky shot up out of his chair and stormed out of the jet, Natasha fast on his heels.
This just all can’t be real, can it?
Did I seriously just find my biological father?
I guess the only way to tell is if we get tested.
For some reason though, this test held so much more meaning.
For so long I’ve had the mindset that I was something less than human. A freak.
But to actually find out who my father is. It made me feel for the first time ever as something more.
Bucky could be my family.
I could be his.
It wasn’t until Steve wipes away wetness off my cheek that I realized I was crying.
I never cry.
With damp eyes I looked up at Steve, who had knelt down in front of me.
I was suddenly very scared.
Scared that I’d be pushed out back into the streets and I’d never know the truth.
Scared that we were wrong and I’ve gotten my hopes up for a family, only to have it come crashing down around me.
Mostly, I was scared of finding out he really is my father and he won’t want anything to do with me.
My bottom lip trembled as I tried to control my emotions. Not wanting Steve to see me in such a vulnerable state.
”C..can I have th..that bed now? I’m not so hungry a..any more.”
He pushed some of my long brown hair behind my ear and let his fingers linger a little longer along my cheek.
”Yeah, sure, come on, I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”
I went to grab my things, only to watch Steve pick them up for me.
I followed him through the compound silently. Not even one snarky or inappropriate remark passing my lips.
Definitely a rarity for me.
He stopped in from of a door and unlocked it, pushing it open and allowed me to enter first.
”This room is right across the hall from mine. So if you need anything, don’t hesitate to come ask.”
All I could do was nod and take my bag as he offered it back to me.
“Been one hell of a day, hasn’t it?”
This time I did give a weak smile, him giving one back to me in return.
”Took the words right out of my mouth.”
I watched as her hands shook when she closed the door to her new quarters. She was definitely shaken by the possibility that Bucky could be her biological father.
Hell, I’m a bit freaked out myself. I’m sure Bucky isn’t handling this well either.
Speaking of Bucky, I think it’s a good idea to go check on him. Assuming he and Nat weren’t fucking.
From the look on his face as he stormed out of the Quinjet, I doubt it. But, with those two, you just never know.
Scrubbing my hands down across my face, I gave one last look at the door Nix just closed and headed towards Bucky’s room.
I held my hand up to knock, only to stop when I heard yelling and something crashing and breaking against the door.
Well, that’s my answer to how he was taking the news I guess.
”Bucky? It’s Steve. May I come in?”
I heard footsteps come toward the door. The lightness of the step made me know it was Nat.
I’m glad she’s with him at least.
The knob turned and she pulled open the door, giving me a worried smile.
”Come on in. Though I don’t think he’s really in a talkative mood right now. In fact, he’s pretty pissed off.”
She walked away from the door and I entered, pushing broken chunks of a vase away as I went. Water soaked the floor and multicolored flowers were strewn about everywhere.
Bucky was pacing in his living room, hands in his hair and tugging at the long strands. Definitely a sign he was not in a good mood.
He was talking and mumbling obscenities under his breath.
His head shot up and he looked me square in the eyes. I could see the torment swirling around his blue orbs.
“Those fucking Bastards! Just when I think I couldn’t hate Hydra anymore than I do, I find this out. God dammit Steve! She could be my daughter. I could have a kid. Hell, all the previous embryos could have been mine. All twenty-two of them before Phoenix. Fuck!!”
He resumed his pacing.
My eyes darted over to Nat and she was rubbing the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed. She wasn’t taking this well either from the look of it.
“Bucky, you need to calm down. We don’t even know if it’s true. I mean, sure, she looks like your spitting image, but it could just be a coincidence.”
He stopped pacing again.
”She’s mine Steve. I can feel it. I remember them taking me to the compound she was in. They were talking about having me train her when she became of age. They even said it was appropriate that it was me to do it. I never really understood why. But now, now I know.”
It did make sense. If Bucky stayed around her, they could document the similarities in their skills in regards to the serum. Speed, dexterity, agility, you name it. Would hers be better with the added mutant DNA? Was it the same?
He suddenly sat down onto his couch and leaned his head into his hands. Elbows propped up on his knees. He gave a loud groan that sounded like he was just so fucking done.
I sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a good squeeze.
”It’s going to be ok. We’ll have Bruce test you both and then we will know for sure. If she is your daughter, then you two can get to know each other. It’s a miracle we even came across her to begin with. If it wasn’t for the fact I almost died, we may never have found her to begin with.”
Bucky looked up and gave me a smirk. I could tell he was starting to calm down.
”Well, I guess you being stupid has its benefits after all. Just don’t make a habit of it.”
I shoved at his shoulder and laughed.
”Oh shut up.”
With that the tension in the room was broken and we both laughed.
Nat came and sat next to Bucky on his other side. I watched as she slipped her hand into his.
It was hard to believe what I was seeing. A tender and loving Natasha Romanoff.
She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his knuckles. Her eyes still held worry for her lover.
Their eyes were locked onto each other and a soft smile ghosted both Bucky and Nat’s face.
He pulled his hand from hers and cupped her cheek, pulling her in for a gentle kiss.
I could feel my cheeks redden from being witness to their loving relationship. I had such a mix of emotions.
I felt so happy for them, yet jealous all at once.
It hurt to know I’d never have that again. That I ruined all chances at having anything close to what they have.
I mean, sure, I could go and fuck someone and ease the sexual tension that always seems to be lingering in the background. But it could never go beyond that. Because I won’t even let it get to that point.
The serum enhanced everything. What they failed to tell me was that my sexual appetite would grow ten fold.
One reason why I always kept myself busy. If I’m busy, I’ll have no time to think about sex. Think about love.
It’s just not in the cards for me.
Never was apparently.
I averted my eyes as the gentle kiss became just a bit deeper and heated. I was almost ashamed to admit that seeing them together was getting me hard.
”With that, I will get out of your hair. Just find Bruce tomorrow and give a DNA sample. I’ll give him a heads up about what’s going on. Good night you two.”
They managed to pull away from their kiss to say good night.
I closed the door behind me as I left and decided to see if Bruce was still up.
”Friday, is Banner still awake?”
”Yes, he’s currently arguing with Tony in the main Lab. Which is not unusual. Should I let him know you need to speak to him?”
I turned around and made my way toward the lab.
”Yes, thank you Friday.”
When I walked into the lab, Tony and Professor Hulk were indeed arguing. But not about what I thought they’d be arguing over.
For example, some experiment they can’t agree on or an upgrade that’s not quite going right.
Bruce threw his hands up and growled in frustration.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about Tony. The original is always better than the remake. Hands down.”
Tony shook his head and waved off Bruce’s comment like it meant nothing.
”Yes it is, just think about it. The graphics are better and the acting as well. The whole experience tops the original by far. Just look at the new Lion King live action. It surpasses the animated one by leaps and bounds!”
Are they seriously arguing about movies?!
”Alright, I’ll give you that. But must I remind you of Cinderella, or the new Child’s Play? Or how about Poltergeist? That movie sucked so bad Tony, you can’t tell me that one is better than the original.”
I cleared my throat.
Both sets of eyes landed on me.
”Oh, hey Steve, you needed to see me?”
Tony rolled his eyes.
”Oh sure, use Rogers as an excuse to get out of this argument. Though, I will concede to the three you mentioned. They did suck ass.”
Bruce sighed and sat his large green frame down onto a chair.
“I’m not using Steve for anything. Besides, Morgan agrees with me.”
He gave a devious smirk and Tony’s eyes went wide.
”She did not! When?”
Bruce grinned at having flustered Tony with the use of his daughter.
”Yesterday actually. Right after you two finished watching the new Aladdin.”
Tony looked scandalized.
He pointed at Bruce and narrowed his eyes.
”Oh this isn’t over. I’m going to talk to Morgan and we’ll settle this.”
Bruce laughed and resumed his attention back on me. An amused smile on my face while watching them interact.
Since Bruce and the Hulk merged, he’s more confident when he talks and sometimes Tony can’t stand it.
”Sorry Steve, what can I do for you?”
I told him and Tony all about our suspicions of Nix’s parentage.
Tony laughed and leaned back in his chair, tipping it onto two legs.
”Well, well, well, Daddy Bucky. Never thought I’d see the day. I bet he’s freaked out right about now.”
I confirmed his suspicions.
Bruce had a thoughtful look on his face.
”Can’t be easy for the girl either I’m sure. Though considering her background and what she’s been through with Hydra, I’m sure even knowing who her DNA donors were never even entered her mind.”
Of this I have no doubt. But it has affected her. Greatly.
”Yes, She’s not taking it too well. Though, Bucky is more pissed off than anything. Just one more thing Hydra’s taken from him. Nix was so floored by it all that she went straight to bed. She never even got the meal I promised her. I know she’s bound to be starving too, considering she only eats one meal a day.”
This disturbed Bruce and Tony. The thought of anyone going hungry is just appalling. I happen to agree.
Bruce voiced his concern. Tony just seemed to frown and internalize it all. He does that more since Morgan came along.
”I wouldn’t let her go too much longer without food. If she has the same type of serum running through her veins like you and Bucky do, her metabolism will be through the roof. I’m not sure how she’s survived this long on such a low calorie diet.”
Tony grunted and his chair came down with a clunk onto all fours.
”Probably why she’s so skinny. I swear a strong wind could come along and she’d be carried away. I’ll have the cook prepare her something high in protein and carbohydrates. In fact, all her meals need to be that way from now on. Put a little meat on her bones. Which, I’m sure you will appreciate Steve.”
His eyebrows waggled at me and I knew immediately what he was insinuating.
Well, he’s not wrong.
”I’m not gonna lie, she’s very attractive. But don’t go getting any ideas Tony. It’s never going to happen. Plus if she is Bucky’s daughter, that would be extremely weird.”
Bruce laughed and so did Tony.
”Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. You mark my words, are you writing this down Bruce? If not, you need to. Because I guarantee it, either you two will be doing the deed in secret or be calling Bucky your father in law.”
Bruce covered his mouth to try and suppress a laugh. Knowing I couldn’t stand it when Tony or anyone talks about my love life.
He loves to torture me.
Constantly insinuating that I’m a virgin and need to get laid.
I mean, yeah, I am, but not completely without some sexual experiences.
Seriously, I suddenly had a great body and women were flocking all over me. Of course I’m going to take advantage of it.
First blow job was before a USO show with one of the show girls.
She just kind of dropped to her knees before me and proceeded to pull me out of my pants and swallow me down.
It felt too damn good to push her away. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly I came. She was definitely talented.
”I wouldn’t hold your breath.”
I left them both as they started up their arguing again about movies. Definitely not interested to get in the middle of that conversation.
I made my way back toward my room. I could definitely use a bit of shuteye.
I couldn’t quite get Tony’s words out of my head though.
I was drawn to the girl, well, woman. There was just something about her. From the moment I saw her when she saved my life, I knew I needed to find her and know more about her.
Her laughter and sense of humor after all she’s been through, is a real testament to how strong she is and resilient.
I admire that.
She says what’s on her mind with no filter.
Reminds me of Peggy.
I rounded a corner and looked up when something caught my eye.
Nix was laying in the floor in front of my door.
My immediate thought was something was wrong. She’s hurt or her lack of food has made her worse off than we originally expected.
I ran to her side and rolled her over onto her back.
Her eyes fluttered open and I was taken aback by how beautiful her eyes were this close up.
“Oh, hey neighbor. You’re back.”
I lent her my hand as she pulled herself up to standing. Adjusting the long T-shirt she wore. Nothing much else on from what I could tell.
I clenched my teeth at the sight of her bare thighs. My pants already tightening.
Now Tony’s put the thought into my head, and I won’t be able to think of anything else.
I cleared my throat and motioned toward her attire.
”You, uh, look comfortable.”
She looked down at herself and then shrugged.
”Oh, yeah, sorry. My room is a lot warmer that I’m use to. I’m usually cold at night and bundle up. This was all I had to sleep in besides being nude. I didn’t think you’d want me showing up at your door buck naked.”
She winked at me and gave a smile that led me to believe she had been tempted to do just that.
I had to suppress a moan at the thought of her knocking on my door in all her glory.
Jesus! I’m in trouble with this one.
If it weren’t for the fact Bucky is more than likely her father, I’d be tempted to just satisfy my craving for sex. From the sound of it, she would be more than willing to oblige.
”Why are you sleeping at my door? Is there a problem.”
She he gave me a knowing grin at me side stepping her question about being naked.
“Nice deflection. Anyway, I realized I was too hungry to stay asleep, so I came to ask you where I can find some grub. But I knocked several times and you didn’t answer. Then I sat down to wait and it’s cooler in the hallway. I guess I fell asleep.”
I leaned closer to her and I couldn’t hide the smirk on my face as she gave a barely audible gasp and her eyes dilated.
I can’t deny I was tempted to take what I wanted. She would be so pliant in my hands. I’d get to hear more of those little sounds mixed with moans and screams of my name.
I saw her visible flinch as I reached my door knob and opened my door. She was leaning against it, so she stumbled backwards into my room.
I quickly grabbed her around the waist and held her upright so she wouldn’t fall.
Just as quickly, I let her go.
She felt too good below my fingers.
It was something I could get use to.
That’s why I let her go.
I motioned into my room.
She laughed and rolled her eyes, definitely picking up on the sexual tension between the two of us.
I followed her inside and had to resist trying to get a peak further up her shirt.
”Tony’s having a proper meal prepared for you. But I’m sure I have something here that will tide you over till then. At least enough to satisfy your appetite until then.”
“Which appetite are you referring to? My hunger for actual food? Or maybe a hunger for something a little...different.”
Oh yeah, I’m in big trouble.
I needed to stop this right here. Before it goes any further.
“Nix, as fun as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. I want to make that abundantly clear. I know we have an attraction, but that’s all it can be. Understand?”
God, I hated even saying it. The look she gave me was one of confusion.
”Wait, I don’t get it. You’re obviously wanting me like I want you.”
She glanced down at the growing bulge in my pants.
”But you don’t want to fuck? Maybe you can enlighten me as to why.”
I pushed her towards my kitchen so I can fix her something to eat while I explained to her why I couldn’t be with her that way.
The desire was there. It’s always there thanks to the serum. Her too from what I gather. But I couldn’t allow myself to be drawn in by lust.
I refuse to be with anyone else, since I can’t be with Peggy. I hated myself for choosing the path I took and left that life behind.
Any intimacy felt like a betrayal to the life I still dream about nightly. The life I was meant to live. The life that was stolen from me.
She sat and ate quietly and listened as I explained it all.
I’ve never told anyone else everything I said to her. I’ve spoken some about my feeling with Bucky, but not to this extent.
There was just something about Nix that made me want to open up to her, be honest.
I couldn’t help myself.
That thought alone scared the hell out of me.
She wipes her mouth on a napkin and then reached out, placing her hand on top of mine where it rested on the table.
”I understand. As much as it disappoints me that we won’t have sex, I respect your decision. I promise, you won’t feel any pressure from me to go against your wishes. Sorry for the hard core flirting. I’ll keep it down to a minimum, cool?”
I put my other hand on top of hers, squeezing gently.
”Thank you. You may be the only one willing to respect my wishes. They are all pushing for me to move on and find love again. But, I just can’t. As for the flirting, a little won’t be so bad. In fact, I’ll keep mine down to a minimum as well.”
I almost regretted what I said when she leaned over and placed a kiss on top of our joined hands.
”Sounds like a deal to me.”
Oh yes, I was definitely in trouble with this one.
The exam table was cold as I sat and waited for my turn. The thin material of my jeans weren’t doing the job of keeping me warm all of a sudden.
God I fucking hate exam tables!
Bucky sat quietly as Bruce drew blood, since according to the good Dr, the test results will be more accurate and quicker than saliva.
”There, all done. Now, you’re turn Phoenix.”
Bruce turned toward me with the needle in hand and I instinctively flinched away from him.
I mean it could be that his hands were huge and the needle quite wasn’t. Or perhaps I’ve never been fond of what happens when a needle comes at me from a doctor.
I’m leaning more toward a problem with the needle and not the man.
He backed away for a second and his eyes went wide.
“Oh, God, I’m sorry, this probably brings back horrible memories for you. If you need to take a minute before I draw your blood, it’s ok. We can take all the time you need.”
I wrung my hands together to try to stop them from shaking. The palms of my hands felt wet with sweat.
Bucky had a pained look on his face as he watched the terror and anxiety roll through me. He of all people knew where I was coming from.
He stood up and came closer to my table, a gentle smile rugged at his lips as he held out his flesh hand to me.
”You can hold my hand, if you want. Bruce is very good, it didn’t even hurt. You’ll see.”
I chewed my bottom lip and looked at his outstretched hand.
“No one’s ever offered to hold my hand before. Does it help?”
Steve, who had been lurking just inside the doorway, watching the whole time, spoke up.
”It may not seem like much, but yeah, it does. Bucky’s held my hand a time or two when I was younger. Helped me get through some pretty rough times in my skinnier and sicklier days. I hated needles. Still do.”
I decided to bite the bullet and just go for it. What do I have to lose, right?
“Alright, I’ll hold your hand.”
Bucky smiled as I slipped my shaking hand into his. The comforting warmth and strong grip sealed around me and I could almost feel his strength enter me, making me braver.
”Ok Doc, do your worst. Or best. Or ya know, whatever.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight as Bruce rolled up my sleeve to put on the tourniquet. The cold rub of the alcohol on my arm made me flinch a little. Bucky’s grip got just a tad tighter, sensing my unease.
It felt like forever I had my eyes closed, waiting and waiting for the awful sting of the needle that always came after.
But I didn’t feel anything. Were they not going to do the test.
”What’s taking so long?”
I chanced a peak and saw the tortured look on not just Bucky’s face, but Bruce’s as well.
I noticed they were staring at my arm.
They were staring at all the scar tissue from hundreds of tests Hydra put me through.
On the streets, in the beginning, I was often mistaken for a junkie because of my scars.
I knew it didn’t look that great, hence always wearing long sleeves most the time. But they looked so sad.
“They’re just scars. It’s ok. Can you not get blood there? We can try the other arm, but it’s kinda the same picture.”
Bucky’s eyes looked glassy and he jerked his head to look away.
Bruce laid his palm on my arm and gave me a small sad smile. He then began to roll back down my sleeve.
”I think I’ll just get blood from a finger stick. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than you already have been.”
I nodded and looked up, my eyes locking with Steve’s. He also had a look of sadness about him. It made me feel a bit self conscious.
Bucky still held my hand as Bruce proceeded to prick my finger and collect the blood he needed that way.
It only hurt for a second, so I was kinda glad we didn’t do the arm.
As soon as we were done, I pulled my hand free of Bucky’s grasp. He seemed reluctant to let me go.
”So, how long until we get the results?”
Dr. Banner was busy prepping the blood samples. He looked over his shoulder at me.
”About a week, maybe a week and a half. Give or take a few.”
I nodded in understanding, suddenly feeling very much like a bug under a microscope. Both Bucky and Steve were watching me intently.
I scooted off the table and nervously fiddled with the strings of my hoodie.
Looking between the two super soldiers, I had to admit that my life just got really weird.
Well, weirder than it already was I guess.
Here I was, the third super soldier, sort of, and one of the other two might be my Father and the other...well, I had hoped to be his little sex kitten. That obviously wasn’t going to happen.
Doesn’t stop me from wanting it though.
Man, this was awkward.
Steve looked at Bucky and they did that whole voiceless conversation that they do.
“Ummm, so what do I do now? I’ve been here a day and you only promised me a meal and a bed. I’ve had both. I can just go back to Philly. It’s no big deal really. I’m use to it. Spring’s coming soon. You can just come find me when the results come back.”
They both looked alarmed, eyes widening and shook their heads no. Bucky was the first to tell me to stay.
”Phoenix...Nix, we want you to stay. You don’t belong out there on the streets anymore than we do. You’re not safe. If we know about you, so does Hydra. I doubt they want to just ignore the fact that their Billion dollar baby is free and walking around. Especially associating with us.”
Steve agreed with him.
”He’s right. Hydra won’t just let this go. You’re safer her under our protection.”
I really tried not to laugh, I did.
They looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Seriously guys? You did see what I can do, right? I’m fully capable of taking care of myself. I’ve been doing it for six years now.”
Bucky sighed and leaned back against the exam table, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Ok, I’ll concede that you are a bit scary with those powers of yours. But I know for a fact you weren’t trained in hand to hand combat. Your powers are worthless if they throw a punch and knock you out.”
Oh, ok, I can see where he’s coming from I guess.
“Plus, if you really are my daughter, I want to get to know you. I mean, not that I wouldn’t want to know you if you aren’t, but you know what I mean.”
I did know what he meant. I want to get to know him too. All of them. I was tired of being alone all the time.
At the compound I was in before, I was never left alone. There was always someone there watching me. Monitoring me. Guarding me.
It was the bitter loneliness that got to me. More than the hunger, more than the cold frigid nights of Winter and the blistering hot days of Summer.
“Yeah, I get it. I want to know you better too, you know, if you’re my, uh, father. But also if you’re not. I think you guys are pretty awesome. Always have. So yeah, if it’s ok with you, I’d love to stay.”
They both looked happy that I’d agreed. It was almost like they were expecting me to say no. That I wanted to leave.
They looked relieved.
Tell you the truth, so was I.
Steve motioned between himself and Bucky.
”One of us, or maybe both of us, could train you to fight. It would ease our minds to know that if something did happen, you’d be able to take care of yourself in a fight. Would that be ok?”
Hmm, Steve training me...that sounds, fun. Hot sweaty bodies, possibly his hands on me.
Count me the fuck in.
”I’d be ok with that.”
”I think she needs to come with me first, before you boys go all gung-ho and try to turn her into a true Super Soldier.”
All three of our eyes looked up at Natasha as she entered the lab.
Her eyes scanned the room briefly before coming closer to Bucky and kissing his cheek.
He smiled and wrapped his flesh arm around her waist, pulling her closer. The look on his face softened as he gazed at her.
He stiffened a bit as he realized what he called her without even thinking. Steve was not at all trying to hide his smile.
I couldn’t help myself, I gave the biggest smile I’ve probably ever had. They were so cute together. Too bad they were trying to hide it.
Bucky went to release Natasha when he realized what he’d done. Someone could have seen them.
Natasha was having none of that apparently. She wrapped her arms around his middle and planted a slow kiss to his shocked lips.
He definitely wasn’t expecting that.
“Hi right back, handsome.”
Steve arched an an eyebrow at the two and then looked over at me. I think he expected it when Bucky didn’t.
“So, wait a second. I’m not allowed to say you two kissed, but you’re allowed to just kiss him out in the open where anyone can see you? I think there is a double standard here.”
Bucky looked uneasy between the both of us, probably expecting Natasha to not react well to my statement.
Bucky and Steve at the same time spoke the same exact words. Very similar to my own.
She gave a light chuckle and leaned closer into Bucky, his arm sliding more securely around her.
”About a few minutes ago, I sent out messages to our friends. I told them Bucky and I were together. So no more secret to hide.”
Bucky pulled back from her and looked shocked to say the least, but also extremely happy.
”Really? Everyone knows now? We don’t have to hide anymore?”
She almost blushed as she peered up at him.
”No more hiding. No more secrets. Secrets tear people apart and I don’t want that to happen to us. It’s too important.”
Steve and I exchanged a look and I quickly averted my eyes and tried to suppress my own blush.
Bucky let out a loud whooping laugh and picked Natasha up around the waist. He spun her around before kissing her breathless.
”God, Baby, you’re amazing. I love you so much.”
”Yeah, I know. I love you too.”
I wiped at a fake tear and began to clap.
”That was really amazing you two. So, if you’re my new Daddy, maybe, does that make Natasha my new Mommy?”
I cracked up laughing. Not only from the weird look I got from Bucky, but also the shocked expression on Steve’s face.
”I’m no one’s Mommy sweetheart. But, I will be your friend for the next few hours so we can go shopping for some new clothes and things you’ll need for your new quarters.”
I gave her a genuine smile.
“Really? You mean that? I’ve never had a friend before. This is cool. Can we have a sleep over and everything?”
She pulled out of the hug with Bucky and fully faced me.
“I wouldn’t push it.”
”Too soon, I know. I rushed it. It’s ok, I’ll take whatever you want to give me. A friend sounds amazing.”
Bucky wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the top of her head.
She covered his arms with her own and leaned back into his embrace.
Natasha held up to her word and we spent the next five hours shopping till we dropped.
I had a feeling Tony’s deep pockets were involved.
By the time I got back to the Avengers compound, I was exhausted. And had more clothes than I’ve ever had in my entire life.
Steve helped me to my quarters. I had a ton of bags and shoe boxes. We had to make two trips.
Setting down the last bag, my stomach decided to growl loudly.
Steve cocked an eyebrow at me.
I rubbed my belly as it growled again.
He motioned with his head to the kitchen. A sly smile on his face.
”Go see if there’s anything good to eat in the refrigerator.”
I eyed him suspiciously and walked around him toward the kitchen.
The first thing I saw was a bowl of fruit on the counter. Filled with apples and bananas.
I gave him a knowing smile. I knew he was behind that for sure.
His returned smile told me I was right.
I’m pretty certain what I expected to be in the refrigerator, was nothing compared to what I saw.
I took a step back and a gasp left my mouth.
It was jam packed with all sorts of food and things to drink.
My eyes were wide as I saw milk and orange juice. Yogurt, sliced deli meat, cheese, every condiment known to man I think. I even had pickles.
I didn’t realize I was crying. All I could do was stand there in awe.
He did this for me. I just know he did.
“Please don’t cry. I just wanted to make sure you never had to go hungry again.”
I suddenly turned and threw myself at him, hugging him around his middle and pressing my sobbing face into his strong chest.
”Thank you! Thank you so much!”
He held me as I cried tears of joy. I just became so overwhelmed with everything that’s happened in the last two days.
I’ve never had anyone care enough for me to take care of me this way.
I held onto him tighter.
His arms wrapped more securely around me, one hand pressing to the back of my head, the other on my low back, pulling me closer to him if it were even possible.
He shushed me quietly and stroked my hair. Told me everything would be ok from now on. That he’d always protect me and make sure I had what I needed.
I felt such strong emotions swirling around in my chest.
His hand on my low back flexed over and over, almost massaging me.
My tears slowly died down and came to a sniffling stop. What it was replaced with was an ever increasing warmth in my belly and chest at being so close to Steve.
I turned my head and instead of my right cheek against his sternum, my nose buried right between his pectorals.
God he smells so good.
So fucking good.
I could feel him tense against me. But he didn’t pull away.
His hand was still cupping the back of my head as I pulled up from his chest and looked up into his eyes.
My heart thudded in my chest so hard, I was positive he felt it. How could he not? My breasts were pressed hard against his stomach.
The tension was thick.
We both felt it.
His eyes searched mine, looking tortured and lust filled all at once.
His fingers combed into my hair and I gave a slight gasp at the sensation.
I felt him twitch in his pants. He was getting hard. By just holding me.
I purposefully moved so my body would rub against his crotch. A groan left his sinful lips and his eyes went a shade darker.
His head was leaning more toward mine. Like he was being drawn in by a magnet. I too tilted my head, wanting his lips on mine.
Hell, on any part of my body.
His hand on my low back pressed me more firmly against his cock. I moaned shamelessly.
My eyes flashed red as desire so great rushed through my body. I needed him. Now!
I went quickly up on tip toes and smashed my mouth onto his, kissing him.
I swallowed a deep moan of his as I took what I wanted.
His hand tightened in my hair and pulled my lips from his. I thought for sure he was ending it.
Only he didn’t.
With a death grip in my long brown hair, he angled my head to how he wanted me, then returned my kiss.
My arms wrapped around his neck as I arched into him, raking my hard nipples across his abdomen.
Our tongues battled for dominance, but in the end, he won. I was butter in his hands, bending to his will.
God I fucking loved it!
I grunted as I found my back pressed to the wall.
I ached for him to be inside me. My pussy clenching in anticipation, desperate to be filled and stretched like I knew he would.
I lifted my left leg up and wrapped it around his hip, thrusting into his hard as stone cock.
His loud moan is what finally woke him up to what was going on.
His instincts to claim my body was brought to a crashing stop.
His eyes widened in shock and he pushed away from me like I’d burned him.
I mean, I’m pretty sure I didn’t burn him.
He was flushed and his lips were red from our making out.
But his eyes, they were distraught.
I instantly knew he’d regretted our kiss.
His hand covered his mouth as he backed away and shook his head.
“I can’t! I’m sorry, I just can’t!”
He turned his back to me and he growled in frustration.
“I’m sorry Steve. I don’t know what came over me. I knew you didn’t want this, but I pushed you. I’m so sorry.”
I felt horrible to have caused him so much pain. Especially after I agreed to his wishes about us not being anything but friends.
He turned to look at me and I purposefully had to make my eyes stay on his face. Because I knew if I looked down, I’d see his hard cock tenting his pants.
I felt how much he wanted me. I know he felt how much I wanted him.
Hell, if his sense of smell was as heightened as mine, he could smell my desire for him.
From the flare of his nostrils, I’m positive he can.
He was trying so hard to control himself and not give into his body’s need for release.
I know mine was screaming at me.
”It’s not all on you. It’s my fault as well. I should be able to control myself better than this. But you have to know, this, this won’t happen again.”
I nodded and raked my hands through my hair. I was so sexually turned on that it felt as if my body was vibrating.
”I understand. But now you need to go. Like now.”
He frowned and asked me why.
”Because, if we’re not gonna fuck, then you need to go. Unless you want to watch me get myself off. Because I’m about to fucking burst here.”
The look he gave me was one of pure unadulterated lust. He visibly flinched as if trying to hold himself back.
”I’ll..uh, I’ll go.”
”Yeah, good idea.”
He quickly went to my door, opened it and walked out. The door slammed behind him.
I went to the door and leaned my forehead on it, breathing out a groan of frustration.
God, I needed to cum so damn bad!
I heard Steve’s door slam shut.
I pictured him just as horny as I was, leaning against his own door.
With my head still planted on the door, I reached my hand down and pushed underneath the waistband of my jeans after popping the button and lowering the zipper.
I moaned as my fingers made contact with my clit, rolling it just the way I like it.
I panted and cursed under my breath as I felt how soaking wet I was. I don’t believe I’ve ever been this wet before.
Speeding up, I rubbed my clit faster and harder, needing that release. I felt wound too tight.
I pictured Steve on the other side of his door, doing the same as I was. Hand wrapped right around his hard throbbing cock, stroking himself to completion.
That was the image that tipped me over the edge and crashed head first into the most amazing orgasm I’ve ever had.
“Fuck! Oh fuck fuck fuck!!”
I slammed my free hand against the door as wave after wave of pleasure took over.
I thought I heard an echo of the same words I was saying, just coming from across the hall.
I grinned as I came down from my high.
We may not have fucked, but we definitely came together.
I had a hard time feeling bad about that.
What I did feel bad about was going against my word.
I pulled my hand from my pants and then washed them in the kitchen sink.
I needed to learn to control myself around Steve. Pushing him into something he’s not ready for or that he doesn’t want, even though I know he wants me, wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be.
I knew what that was like. Feeling like someone’s puppet. Being made to do things that you hated or were completely against.
The more I thought about it, the worse I felt about myself.
I went to bed that night with throbbing in my pussy, a full belly and an aching heart. I needed to find a way to resolve these feeling I had for Steve.
Before it consumed me whole.
Three weeks flew by quickly. Between Bucky, Steve and Natasha and even occasionally Clint and Sam, I was busy training every single day.
Thank goodness for my serum given endurance, because I’ve definitely needed it. Especially with Natasha.
That woman was a slave driver when it came to training. She didn’t accept anything but 100% effort in what she was teaching me.
She and Bucky actually got into an argument one day about it. He said she was being too hard on me. Probably because she gave me a bloody nose.
She claims she’s actually taking it easy on me and I’m lucky a bloody nose is all I got.
If she’s taking it easy on me, then the others must be treating me with kid gloves. Good grief!
Bucky and I were circling each other in the boxing ring, fists up ready to fight.
I banged my gloved hands together and gave him a huge grin that made him laugh because of the mouth guard he insisted on me using.
We don’t even know yet if he’s my father and he’s already treating me like he is.
Is nice though. Having people to talk to and relate to.
We had went a few rounds, both of us sweaty and breathing heavy. The door to the gym opened and Bruce walked through.
I immediately stopped what I was doing. Bucky...not so much since he hadn’t seen him come in.
A sudden right hook caught me square in the jaw.
The room spun in a circle as I was knocked for a loop and fell to the boxing ring’s floor like a bag of rocks.
”Shit! Nix! Jesus! Why the hell did you let your guard down?!”
He and Steve both rushed to my side where I was still trying to distinguish between what was up and down.
“Fucking hell that was a good punch.”
Steve laughed and tried to sit me up.
“Just be glad it wasn’t a left hook.”
Bucky looked mortified at even the idea.
A wobbly Bruce came to the edge of the boxing ring and looked down at me.
Man! Why is the room still tilting?!
”Nix, are you ok? Need me to look you over?”
Bucky carefully removed my helmet.
Once it was off, I shook my head to try and put the pieces in my brain he knocked loose, back into place.
The room finally returned to its normal state.
”Nah, I’m good. But thanks.”
Steve put his hands under my arms and lifted me up onto my two feet. I gave a slight squeak when he did it.
I began to remove my gloves when Bucky finally seemed to realize Bruce was in the gym. He never comes to the gym. Even before he and the Hulk joined, according to Steve.
”Bruce? What are you doing here?”
I saw him visibly tense. So did I for that matter.
So did Steve.
”The DNA test is back, I thought you’d all want to know. We can go back to my office and go over them. It took a little longer than normal, just because I was having Hank run a comparison through his database of mutants he’s come across.”
“You found my mother? Or well, I should say, mothers.”
He smiled but there was something off about it. It made me feel extremely nervous.
”Yes, I did. Maybe we should do this in private.”
He turned, assuming we would follow him, but Bucky took a step forward and spoke out to him.
”No! Wait, please, Bruce, just tell us whether or not I’m her father. We can do the rest in your office, I promise. But I’ve been on pins and needles for three damn weeks. I need to know.”
He turned desperate eyes to me. I needed to know too. I was tired of waiting.
I smiled and turned my attention back to Bruce.
”It’s ok Bruce, you can tell us here. Well, I mean, about him being my father part. I don’t mind if he don’t.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and reached out, taking Bucky’s hand in mine. His gloves had come off when he knocked me for a loop so he could see if I was hurt.
Of course, since Bruce has a great sense of humor now, he had to use it.
”James Buchanan Barnes, in the case of twenty-six, approximately, years old Phoenix, no last name, you ARE the father.”
I gasped and turned to look at Bucky.
No, my father.
His smile mirrored my own.
Bucky laughed and cried at the same time, pulling me to his chest and hugging me tight.
I hugged him tight as well, tears leaking out of my eyes and being soaked up by his T-shirt.
”I have a daughter!”
I pulled back just enough to look him in the face. He was beyond elated.
I laughed and shriveled up my nose at the nickname.
He shrugged and pulled me into a hug again, kissing the top of my head as he did so.
”We’ll work on the nicknames later.”
”Sounds good to me.”
Once we got the hugging out of our system, Steve hugged Bucky and slapped him on the back.
“Congratulations Buck! I’m so happy for you. Happy for you both.”
I chewed my lip nervously.
”Um, Bucky, I mean, Dad. I was wondering. I mean it’s ok if you say no and all, I completely understand. But Tony’s been working on getting me the usual government papers and such. Like Social security number and stuff. But he’s hit a snag and I needed to ask your permission for something that would help.”
He released Bruce’s hand from their handshake and looked back at me.
“Sure Sweety, ask away.”
I shook my head.
”Uh, yeah, that’s a no go on the Sweety. But you’ll get there, I have faith in you.”
”Gotcha, no Sweety and no Pumkin. So what’s your question?”
I looked over at Steve and he smiled warmly at me.
I had ran the idea past him the other day while we were training and he thought it would be a great idea. Said Bucky will love it.
He nodded toward Bucky in encouragement.
“Well, I wanted to wait to ask you when we found out the paternity test, just to be sure. But I was wanting to know if you’d be ok with me taking your last name. I’d be known as Phoenix Barnes.”
When he didn’t say anything at first, I thought that maybe I’d overstepped and looked too much into it.
But then I saw a single tear slide down his cheek and into his beard.
”Oh Sweetheart, that would make me the happiest man to walk the Earth. I’d love nothing more than to show the world that you’re mine. So the answer is yes. Yes, yes, a billion times yes.”
We had another emotional moment with tears and shared hugs all around.
I finally had a last name.
I was a Barnes.
”Oh, by the way, I like that one.”
I was holding his hand as we walked toward Bruce’s office, to find out who my mothers were.
”Sweetheart. I kinda like it. I’d be ok with that nickname.”
He brought our joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of mine.
”Me too Sweetheart, me too.”
I was on cloud nine. But I still have one more favor to ask him.
”I have one more question though. There’s a lot of things I missed out on. It’s traditional to give a baby a first, middle and last name. I have first and last taken care of. But I don’t have a middle name. Would you give me one? I figured if you had me when I was a baby, you would have done it. So, why not now?”
He looked again like he was about to cry. His face looked about to split in two from his smile.
”Really? You’d let me give you a middle name? Wow, that’s such a huge responsibility. What if you hate it?”
I snorted and pulled my hand from his and swatted at his shoulder.
“Oh stop! I’d be happy with whatever name you give me. Because it would be from you. Make me feel like a normal person, ya know. Even if it is a bad one. A lot of people hate their middle names, so I could finally fit in, right?”
He scratched his beard and hummed.
”Hmmm, let me think about it. It needs to be a good one. I can’t take this lightly. It will be a name you’ll have for the rest of your life. So give me some time and I’ll let you know what I come up with, ok?”
I couldn’t get over how that one word made me so fucking happy.
Until I came into Bruce’s office.
I froze as I saw three other people sitting in there that I’d never met. I knew they weren’t my mothers, because they were all male.
One was tall and had blue fur all over his body. Normally someone may be freaked out about that, but considering my life, I really wasn’t.
The second man stood off in the corner and was ripped like crazy and had sideburns and crazy looking hair. He kinda looked scary. He had a perpetual frown on his face.
The third man was smiling at me. He had a gentle disposition. He was fully bald and he was in a weird looking wheelchair.
Bruce sat down at his desk and began to introduce his guests.
“This is Dr. Hank McCoy, Logan and Professor Charles Xavier. I invited them here because they have the information on your mothers.”
I swallowed thickly and looked each one over nervously.
”You’re all mutants, aren’t you?”
Dr Hank McCoy laughed and looked down at his body.
”I wonder what gave us away?”
The burly man in the corner snorted in laughter.
The Professor turned his chair to face me and reached out, to shake my hand.
I took it to be polite. That’s when I heard him in my head.
‘It’s very nice to meet you Phoenix. As you can see, you’re not the only one with special gifts. You are among friends. Do not worry.’
I nodded and pulled my hand from his, being a little weirded out by the whole thing.
“Um, yeah, nice to meet you too. So, I hear you know about my mothers. What do you know?”
”Kid don’t beat around the bush. I like it.”
I looked up at the one named Logan and he gave me an actual genuine smile. It made him seem less scary.
Charles, as he asked me to call him, began to tell me about my mothers.
”As odd as it is to have three mothers, we finally found who’s genetic makeup helped to create you.”
I sat down next to my father and he held my hand. Steve’s right, it definitely helps. Not just for needles.
”It was not an equal split in the DNA, they took only certain aspects from two mutants and seventy-five percent is only one in particular.”
Well, this is definitely news.
“The first mother, is only six percent of the DNA makeup. Her name was Callisto. She was the leader of a group called the Morlocks. She had enhanced senses even beyond that of Logan. She was a very dangerous woman. Probably why they wanted her DNA to begin with.”
“The other nineteen percent belonged to Kity Pride. She had the ability to manipulate matter to allow her to pass through solid objects at will. I assume they were hoping you would inherit that trait. Though, I think it manifested in a way they definitely didn’t quite expect.”
I gave a huffed laughed and rolled my eyes.
”Tell me about it.”
Logan stepped forward and he had had a sad look on his face as he spoke.
“I told Chuck, that I wanted to be the one to tell you about your last mother. The one who gave you the most DNA, besides your father of course.”
He pulled out his wallet and then an old worn out picture that laid within and handed it to me.
She was tall and thin, with beautiful curves and long flowing red hair. I could see the resemblance immediately. Besides the red hair of course.
“Your mother’s name was Jean Grey. She was a very powerful mutant. She had telekinesis and could read minds. She, in the end grew too powerful and lost herself. She became deadly to even those around her who loved her.”
I noticed they were both talking about my mothers in the past tense.
“You both said was, and not is. Where are they? Are..are they dead?”
Bucky’s hand squeezed mine tighter.
Logan was the one to answer me.
”Callisto died many years ago in battle. Her body was never found. I’m assuming that’s how Hydra obtained her DNA. Kity, she died a few years ago. Jean killed her. She wasn’t herself and killed several of our friends. She needed to be stopped. Before she killed anymore people.”
I could see the torment in his eyes as he told me what happened.
”I was the only one who could approach her without being killed. It was up to me. I had to stop her. She was beyond all help or control. So I was the one who killed her. I killed your mother.”
It’s like it suddenly dawned on me why he was so upset about her death.
“You loved her, didn’t you?”
His tortured eyes looked up into mine and I saw the moisture there, ready to spill over onto his rough looking cheeks.
”Yes, I loved her. So much. It kills me every single day that I wake up and know I’ll never get to see her again. Until you. You have your mother’s eyes. I didn’t think I’d ever get to see them again.”
I felt my own tears welling up. It never occurred to me that my mothers wouldn’t be alive. I just assumed they were still here, like Bucky.
I pictured myself getting to know them and loving them like I’ve done with my Dad. But now, it wasn’t possible. I’d never get to know them.
“She would have loved you so much. It was always a dream of hers to one day be a mother. If you ever need anything, you can count on us. We were her family. So you’re our family now too.”
I nodded sadly.
The three guests stayed for several hours, having dinner with the whole crew. We got to know each other and they told me stories about all three of my moms.
Steve sat down next to me and I felt him reach under the table and took my hand, squeezing it gently.
Once I put aside my desire to have him sexually, making sure I respected his wishes, we started to become really close friends.
“You doing ok? Need anything?”
”Yeah, I’m fine. I’m upset that I’ll never get to meet them. But, I have this sort of extended family that I never knew I had. I’m just happy to have that. I went from having nothing and no one, to having a father and a lot of honorary aunts and uncles. Plus, I have you. You’re the best friend I’ve always wanted.”
He leaned in and kissed my temple. I bit my tongue to keep myself focused from turning my head and kissing him like I wanted.
It wasn’t a lie. He was my best friend. We’ve gotten so close and I couldn’t imagine now what my life would be like without him in it.
But I was also falling madly in love with him and it hurt to know I’ll never be more to him than his friend.
So if that’s all I’ll ever have, then I’d be the best friend I could possibly be.
“I’m so happy for you Nix. You deserve to be happy, after all you’ve been through.”
He was so close and I could smell him. That manly scent that was all him.
I looked into his blue eyes and felt myself being drawn into its depths. I was about to say something, to try and break the tension growing between us. Only to have Bucky clear his throat.
I snapped my eyes away from Steve and realized we were leaning very close to one another. To anyone else, it would have looked very intimate.
“Nix? Sweetheart? What, what’s going on? Why are you and Steve..well, I mean I could be reading this wrong, but I could have swore you were about to kiss!”
Steve pulled back as well and had a panicked look on his face, shaking his head as he looked at his oldest friend.
“No! Bucky, I swear, we were just talking.”
Bucky stood up from the table and he pointed to a side exit that went into the kitchen.
“Steve. A word.”
He nodded and stood up, looking down at me nervously. I felt horrible! Now Bucky will freak out thinking his best friend was hitting on his daughter.
I mean, I expected to get some kind of protectiveness from him. But this was not what I thought would happen.
Dammit! I really need to learn to control myself more around Steve.
”Steve, you care to explain why you were making goo goo eyes at my little girl?”
I felt my heart pounding away as Bucky confronted me.
I had hoped I was doing a good enough job at keeping my urges to myself. I couldn’t allow myself to get overwhelmed like I did weeks ago.
But sometimes when she’s so close to me like she was tonight. I get lost in her blue eyes and her heavenly smell. I just can’t seem to help myself.
“Bucky, I wasn’t trying to kiss her. We were talking. I was just making sure she was ok with everything she’s learned today. Besides, she’s not a little girl Pal. She hasn’t been for quite a while.”
He clenched his fists and I could hear the gears whirring in his arm and the plates shifting.
“Don’t you think I know that? It’s bad enough I have to watch other agents looking at her like she’s a piece of meat. I don’t need my best friend doing the same. It’s just weird!”
He was only reinforcing what I’ve been telling myself since I met her.
“Bucky, I swear, I’m not hitting on her. She’s my friend. I wouldn’t disrespect you like that. Or her.”
He seemed to relax. He nodded and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Sorry Steve, it’s just been a really emotional day. And when I saw you two so close together and how you were looking at each other, I just jumped to conclusions. Sorry Buddy. I didn’t mean to go all over protective Dad on you.”
I reached out and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing him as a sign of no hard feelings.
“Don’t worry about it Buck. I know you’re just looking out for her best interest.”
When he left to go rejoin the others, I slumped against the wall and berated myself for lying to him.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Nix out of my head. Or my vivid dreams at night. Ones that left me hard to where I have to take myself in hand and finish what the dream started.
I could never tell him that. He’d hate me. I can’t allow that.
I never thought I’d have these kind of feelings and urges for anyone besides Peggy. It left me feeling like I was betraying the love of my life. Tarnishing her memory.
One thing I was for sure of. Now I know how Bucky would feel if I ever decided to try to be with Nix. It made my resolve that much greater to keep my thoughts and urges to myself.
When I had nothing, I still had Bucky. I wouldn’t risk losing him for anything, or anyone.
I just hoped my willpower would hold out.
My thoughts went to what Bucky said about other agents ogling her.
It surprised me that it made a wave of jealousy course through me, making my hands clench into fists.
I swear if even one of them even come sniffing around her, I’ll tear them limb from limb.
Sure, I may be pushing her away. But that doesn’t mean I want her to be with anyone else either.
It was such a complicated emotion.
I wanted her away from me, yet close all at once.
My head began to hurt from it all.
I flinched as Nix suddenly poked her head into the kitchen.
”You staying in here all night? Or do you want to watch me mop the floor with Logan. He wants to play a game of pool.”
I pushed myself away from the wall I was leaning against and followed after her.
“Sure, sounds like fun. Lead the way.”
She laughed and clapped excitedly, turning around and rushed off to find Logan.
I took one last deep breath to center my thoughts, before following after her.
Three months later...
The last few months have been both wonderful and torturous all at the same time.
I’ve been able to become very close with my Dad. We’re like two peas in a pod, as he explains it.
He always takes time out of every single day, to come see me and talk with me. It’s helped me to feel less like a science experiment and more human.
He’s even taken it upon himself to teach me to shoot. Which, I happen to be very good at. I’ve taken to it like a duck to water.
Even though they call me a member of the team, they’ve purposefully kept my name out of the lime light to protect me from Hydra.
But I know that won’t last forever. Hell, even before I met the Avengers, I knew my luck would eventually run out and I’d be found.
It’s not a matter of if, but when.
This causes Dad tons of stress.
Steve too for that matter.
Speaking of Steve.
There’s no doubt in my mind, no second thoughts, no hesitation...I am irrevocably in love with him.
I want nothing more than to tell him. It’s constantly on my lips when we talk.
But I know he won’t except my love.
In that way.
Some days it’s so hard to handle, knowing he won’t ever feel for me the same way I feel for him. I’ve cried myself to sleep on those bad days.
Most the time, I try my hardest to just enjoy his company and friendship. Biting back all the urges I feel.
Urges that make me want to pull him hard against me and kiss him senseless. Strip him naked and ride him until the cows come home.
I may seriously get a case of carpal tunnel from how often I click my own mouse.
Sometimes, I hate having extra sensitive ears. Especially when I can hear Steve jacking off right across the hall.
His moans and grunts nearly do me in. It’s enough to drive a woman insane.
I sometimes imagine he’s beating the meat to thoughts of me, but that just may be wishful thinking on my part.
He never calls out anyone’s name when he does it. Which I’m thankful for in a way. It’s just quite a bit of cursing, like ‘Oh fucking God and Fuck!’. It’s that final Fuck he gives with an intense moan that does me in entirely.
Makes me wonder if he hears me like I can hear him.
I have slightly better hearing than he does. Bucky too. I guess that’s my Mom Callisto’s DNA at work.
If he has heard me, he hasn’t said anything.
I think I may die of embarrassment if he ever said something to me about it.
Hell! Can you imagine what he’d say if I told him that I can hear him cum almost every single night? Sometimes multiple times a night.
Lord, if I could just get my hands on him, I’d try my best to make him see reason about his oath to stay celibate and single out of respect for a love that’s been dead for several years now.
What did she have that I don’t? Well, besides his heart that is.
I met Thor about a few weeks ago. He came to the compound to visit and brought Korg and Meek with him.
Those three are a hoot!
We hit it off, right off the bat.
Thor has become addicted to video games. Though thankfully he doesn’t play them as much as he did prior to the Snap reversal.
Plus, he’s gotten back into shape.
Boy! What a shape that is!
I’ve seen photos and even videos of what he looked like before. But damn! He really kicked ass getting rid of that beer belly.
Don’t get me wrong, if I didn’t have my heart stolen by Steve, I’d be tempted to go after the God.
Cuz damn he fine!!
Speaking of Thor, he’s suppose to come by today so we can hang out.
I walked into the communal living room and saw Steve sitting in a chair by the window, reading.
I took a moment just to stand there and watch him. He looked so peaceful. His brow furrowed in concentration as he read.
His tongue flicking out to lick his finger so he can turn a page, nearly made me weak in the knees.
I swallowed down my desire and stood tall as I fully entered the room.
”Hey Stevie, how’s it hangin?”
He looked up from his book and gave me a crooked smile.
”It’s hanging just fine.”
I could tell he was most definitely talking about his penis.
Sometimes we just can’t help ourselves and the sexual innuendos just fly around like crazy.
You see, I know Steve’s attracted to me. That’s why this is so hard. To know he wants me, yet refuses to have me.
So fucking frustrating!
”Thor hasn’t shown up yet, has he? He’s suppose to come by today.”
Steve looked up from his book again and I caught an expression on his face that he quickly hid from me.
He didn’t look very happy that I was asking about Thor.
I could definitely have some fun with this. I mean, if Steve does want me, why not make him a little jealous.
Besides, I have to do something, the man is driving me bananas!
“No, he hasn’t made an appearance. Trust me, the whole compound will know when he shows up. He’s not exactly subtle.”
I laughed and plopped into a chair opposite of him. Legs tossed over the arm. That way I could properly see his reactions.
Oh how I so love to play.
”A man like Thor, nothing about him is subtle.”
His frown increased, though he tried to play it off and rub his eyes and putting down his book.
“What is that suppose to mean?”
I shrugged and looked out the window toward the west lawn. A thick forest lay just beyond it.
”Oh, you know, it’s Thor. He’s kinda larger than life. Also, seriously hot.”
His eyes widened briefly before something caught both our eye outside.
Thor just landed on the west lawn.
“Speak of the Devil, or, you know, God. See ya later Steve. I have a hammer I need to get my hands on.”
I got up to leave and Steve called after me.
”I thought you already found out that you can’t lift it?”
I turned and walked backwards as I gave him a wink.
”Who said I was talking about Mjolnir?”
I had to suppress the glee at seeing the look on his face.
It was total shock, and if I’m not mistaken, jealousy.
Oh, I think it’s time to have a little fun.
Thor’s bellowing voice carried across the room as he entered the building.
”Phoenix! It’s good to see you. Are you ready for our rematch? I’ve been practicing and I’m positive I can beat you this time.”
I’ve been teaching Thor how to play pool.
He fucking loves the game.
But, in the beginning, not at all very good at it. It frustrated him to no end that he kept getting beat.
“Well Big Guy, I guess we will just have to see. But don’t hold your breath. I am pretty damn good.”
He gave a hardy laugh and pulled me in for a giant bear hug.
Lord that man can hug! It’s like getting a hug from a grizzly bear.
We were making our way to the game room when I came up with a very interesting idea. I really hoped Thor would go for it.
”Hey Thor, remember my little problem with Steve?”
Yup, I told him everything.
“You mean Steve’s blindness to what’s right in front of him. Of course I do. Why? Has there been a change in relationship status? Is there a congratulations I need to be giving you?”
I rolled my eyes and hooked my arm through his and around his massive bicep.
“No! I wish! But alas, he still has the giant stick up his ass about being with me.”
Thor groaned and nodded in understanding. Even he can’t seem to understand why Steve won’t just admit he wants me.
“So what news do you have for me today?”
I looked around the hall we were walking in and when I saw no one, I quickly pulled Thor into an empty conference room so we could talk.
”I have an idea. In fact I’ve kiiiiind of already started on the idea.”
Thor was definitely intrigued. I told him about making Steve think I was very into him and what I insinuated about his hammer.
He laughed at that one.
”It wouldn’t take much to lift it. And I’m not talking about Mjolnir either.”
We both cracked up at that.
“So, from what I gather, you want me to act like I’m interested in you as a sexual partner, to make him jealous?”
I was practically on cloud nine just thinking about what we could do.
”Yes! Although we may come into some trouble if my Dad finds out. So we may need to be careful and only do it around Steve when he’s by himself. If you know what I mean?”
He nodded in agreement.
”Yes, I agree. That could definitely cause some problems. Count me in, though actually acting like I want to lay with you wouldn’t be too far fetched of an act, as you well know.”
Yup, Thor wants to fuck me. Have mercy!
He made it very clear into our second game of pool, that he found me very attractive and he’d asked me out to dinner.
Of course that’s when I told him about Steve.
Thor was ok with it. He respected my wishes, but still told me that if it doesn’t work out, or if I get tired of waiting around, to just let him know.
He wasn’t looking for anything serious.
I can understand that. Especially after all he’s been through.
Trust me, I was definitely tempted to take him up on his offer. Especially as sexually frustrated as I’ve become. But he just doesn’t give me that zing that Steve does.
I mean sure, he’s got a hot body. Like super hot! And I wouldn’t have a problem responding to him sexually. I know damn well he’s definitely get me off.
There’s just one little problem.
He doesn’t make my heart pound and my hands sweat. He definitely doesn’t occupy my dreams at night.
Ok, I take that back. I did have one weird dream with Thor in it.
Steve was there though too. He was sitting and watching me and Thor have sex. Directing us on what he wanted us to do to each other.
Halfway through the dream though, Thor turned into another Steve. So in essence, Steve was watching himself fuck me.
It weirded me out so much that it startled me awake.
So yeah, if it weren’t for how much I love Steve, I’d totally accept what Thor’s offering.
Later, as Thor and I were well into our game, Steve came wondering into the game room.
I had to suppress a laugh. It was kind of obvious that he was checking in on us and seeing what we were doing.
This is awesome!
I looked across the pool table at Thor and gave him a wink to let him know it was show time.
I told him to not lay it on too thick, I want to make him jealous, not pissed off. But then again we are talking about Thor here.
He lays everything on thick.
Ok, enough sexual innuendos in my head, it’s getting me all randy. And with Steve nearby, I’m guaranteed to be wet. He just does it for me.
”In my travels, I met a man who played this game extremely well. Perhaps rivaling you Phoenix. He taught me how you’re suppose to hold the stick. Would you like me to show you?”
OH, he’s good!
“Um, I know how to hold it. But, if you know a better way, then I’m all up for learning.”
I could see Steve out of the corner of my eye, watching us carefully.
Thor grinned and rounded the pool table, taking up a stance right behind me.
He leaned into my body, until his entire front was flush with my back. I could feel his bit breath on my neck as he leaned me over the table.
I could feel him laugh under his breath.
He took my hands in his and showed me how to hold the stick, which of course was all wrong.
”See, if you hold it like this...”
He pressed his crotch into my rear as he leaned me further over, my chest practically touching the table.
”Then you can reeeealy get a feel for the stick. Can you feel it?”
Oh, I most certainly did.
Thor was hard.
I made a show of pushing my butt back into him and giving him a seductive look over my shoulder.
”Hmmm, yes, I can definitely feel something.”
I quickly turned my attention toward Steve when I heard his phone hit the floor and a curse leave his mouth.
His eyes were trying to avoid me as he scrambled to pick up his phone and shoved it in his pocket.
”Everything alright Steve?”
Thor still had me bent over over the table but not quite as much since I pulled up a bit to see what happened with Steve.
His face was red and his fists were clenched to where his knuckles were white.
Oh, he looks pissed off!
Shit! Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
”I’m fine, everything’s fine. I’ll just...leave you two to your game. Excuse me.”
He quickly left the room and slammed the door behind him.
I jerked out of response to the loud boom.
Thor grabbed my hip with his left hand and squeezed, groaning as he ground his cock into me.
Oh geeze. Now I have a horny God on my hands.
”Uh, Thor, he left. You can let me go now.”
I felt him press into me more and his lips began to skim up the back of my neck to my ear. A light growl left his lips.
I couldn’t deny that it definitely turned me on. I mean, I can’t really help it with a sex drive that would rival a nymphomaniac.
The slightest stimulus can make me randier than a whore on extacy.
Thor was definitely pushing my buttons.
I pushed back on him again to try and get him to let me up. But the harder I pushed, the more he pushed back.
”Alright big guy, he’s no longer in the room. You can stop.”
He roamed his lips over the shell of my ear.
”But do you really want me to stop? Because I can smell you Phoenix. You want this, just as much as I do. Forget Rogers, he’s not worthy of a woman like you.”
I pushed him back enough so I can turn around to face him. I definitely needed to cool down the situation, starting with both of our libidos.
”Thor, you know I can’t. I’m in love with him. I wish I could forget about him, but I just can’t. Please, don’t make me kick you in the balls.”
I gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand.
He groaned and removed his hands from my hips, placing them on either side of me on the pool table.
“Alright, fine. I understand.”
I made to push him farther back, only for it to feel like I was pushing a brick wall.
”Not even a hand job? I could get you off too.”
I was soooo very tempted considering the state he got me into. But I just couldn’t.
”Sorry Thor, not even a handsy.”
He grunted in frustration and pushed away from the table.
He cracked his neck and looked down at me.
”Care to join me in the gym, I find myself needing to burn off some excess energy.”
I laughed and looped my arm with his, patting his massive bicep.
“Sure, lets go. I think I could use some expenditure of energy as well.”
Well, not only did we succeed in pissing off Steve, but I’ve only left myself feeling guilty and hornier than ever.
Thor and I walked arm in arm into the gym, laughing and cutting up about a story he was telling me about Korg.
The moment we walked in, my smile left my face and I froze in my tracks.
Thor looked confused as to why I had suddenly stopped. But then looked up to where my eyes were trained.
Walking like Hell itself was on his heels, was my Dad, coming straight for us.
This can’t be good.
He cringed as he looked back down at me.
”Well, this cant be good.”
No shit! Exactly what I was thinking!
I tried to smile at my Dad, but it quickly faded as he went off on a tirade. Jesus! He’s pissed!
”What the hell is going on here? I turn my back for five damn seconds and you’re humping Thor in the game room?! Don’t you think he’s a little too old for you?”
Yup, it’s exactly what I thought it would be about.
”Dad! Calm down, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Lie, lie, lie. So this is how I’m gonna play it?
He crossed his arms across his heaving chest and glared daggers at where my arm was wrapped around Thor’s bicep.
I quickly removed my arm and took a step away from him. Hoping to convince my Dad that I was telling the truth. Which of course I wasn’t.
”This is not what it looks like. Besides, who told you what we were doing, or weren’t doing in this case?”
It was then that I saw Steve.
My eyes widened as I saw him cautiously approach.
He did this. He told my Dad!
That fucking Bastard!!
”Steve?! You did this? You told Bucky about what you saw in the game room?”
I was somewhere between pissed the fuck off and wanting to cry. How can he do this to me?!
”I had to Phoenix. You’re in way over your head with Thor. It’s for your own good. No offense Thor.”
OK, leaning more toward pissed.
”No offense, I am a lot to handle.”
I rolled my eyes at Thor and returned my attention back to Steve.
”You had no right to go tell my father! I’m an adult. Not a child! How could you? It’s my business who I want to sleep with! Not yours!”
Steve looked like I slapped him across the face.
Dad stood between me and Steve.
”Don’t blame Steve for this. He didn’t do anything wrong here. You should know better than to act that way in a public environment. I understand if you want to have relations with someone, I get it. But do it properly where everyone can’t see you.”
I felt like crying. Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt as if I were a child being reprimanded for doing something naughty.
Not that I know what that’s like really.
Well, I guess I do now.
”I’m not a little kid! I’m an adult. You have no right to treat me like this!”
A single tear slid down my face.
Dad’s eyes went wide and took a step back.
Probably because my eyes turned bright red and my entire body was surrounded by flames.
I was pissed off.
My powers always come out when I lose my temper.
Thor let out a loud laugh and grinned like an idiot.
Seriously, does anything bother him anymore?!
”That is quite fascinating. What else can you do?”
Steve and my Dad at the same time yelled at Thor.
”Don’t ask her that!”
Damn right, don’t ask me that. I had a good mind to show them what I’m capable of.
Sudden images of the training I was put through from Hydra entered my mind.
Day after day of teaching me how to kill. Doing it in a way to make it the most painful to my victim.
I feared I would lose more of myself in my anger and truly hurt those I love more than anything.
Despite how much I was angry with them.
”Phoenix, you need to calm down Sweetheart.”
Oh, now he wants to play nice???
”Don’t you sweetheart me! Don’t even talk to me! I...I need to go!!”
I turned suddenly and ran out of the gym.
My heart pounded as I ran through the halls and down several flights of stairs that lead me outside.
I needed to destroy something that wasn’t their skulls.
My first thought was of the deep forest that lay beyond the west lawn of the Compound.
No one for miles, so no one to actually hurt.
No one will miss a few hundred trees.
I ran with all the speed my body would allow me, pushing myself to it’s very limit.
I made it several miles into the forest before I came to a stop. My feet sliding into the soft dirt of the forest floor.
I bent over and placed my hands on my knees, taking in a huge breath of air.
I released it all, the anger, the frustration, the hurt. It all came out of me in one giant scream of anguish.
I fell to my knees as the forest around me went up in flames and began to disintegrate and dissolve right in front of me.
By the time I was able to finally take in a steady and even breath, a few acres of land were completely destroyed.
It looked like an atomic bomb had gone off. Smoldering ashes lay all around me. Burnt remnants of trees falling to the ground in a pile of dust.
I covered my eyes with shaking hands, hating myself for allowing things to get this out of control.
All I ever wanted was Steve to want me and love me like I love him.
Now its all just backfired and he thinks I’m some sort of slut. He’ll never want to be with me now.
I’m nothing but a hot headed freak! A complete imbecile for thinking I could have what everyone else has.
Oh, sure, Dad cares for me. But he’s never came out and said he loves me. I mean, just because I’m his biologically, doesn’t mean he loves me.
He didn’t get to bond with me as a baby and watch me grow. I was thrown into his life. He never asked to have me as a daughter.
Maybe that’s why I’m such a disappointment.
I suddenly registered the sound of a jet engine.
I figured my Dad or Steve, perhaps both, had come out looking for me to bring me back to the compound. Like the petulant child I am.
But when I looked up through blurry eyes, red from crying, I realized I didn’t recognize the shape of the jet.
It looked odd...it looked..
Pain went through my left arm like I’d been shot.
I looked at where the pain had come from and what looked like a tranquilizer dart was sticking out of my upper bicep.
The jet landed and many people ran out, dressed in combat gear. Coming straight toward me.
I stood up to fight, only to stumble to the ground as the world began to spin and my body felt weak.
Oh God! No! No, please no!
I stumbled back and tried to crawl away as quickly as my body would let me.
I tried to lash out with my powers and found that nothing was happening. As if I never even had them.
Another pain shot through the back of my thigh.
They shot me again! The rat bastards!!
Finally my body gave out.
Slowly everything started to become numb.
My vision was blurry and doubled. Sounds were muffled and I could feel my consciousness starting to leave me.
A face entered my sight and it took me a few moments to blink away the fuzz to focus on who it was.
”Oh, I’m afraid that’s a yes my dear. You thought you could run from us. Big mistake. Avengers or not, we knew it was only a matter of time before you were back where you belong.”
Tears poured out of my eyes and I tried to scream, move, fight...anything but lay there helpless.
My worst nightmare had come true.
Hydra had found me.
Just before I completely lost consciousness, the Doctor who was in charge of all my experiments, orders the soldiers to put me in the jet.
”Secure her properly. I don’t want to risk her breaking free if the sedative and suppressant wears off before we get to base and permanently fix her.”
The look on her face just before she stormed out, tore at my very soul.
I never expected Bucky to publicly go after her like that, in front of everyone in the gym.
I just wanted him to be aware of what’s going on.
Who am I kidding? I know why I told Bucky.
I was jealous. Plain and simple.
From the moment we found her in that ram shackle of a house, no fit for a rat, I’ve wanted her.
I have fought everything in me to stay away from her and not take what I desperately want.
Guilt has plagued me from day one.
I shouldn't be feeling this way about her. It’s a betrayal to Peggy’s memory and the life I was meant to have with her.
Instead of honoring her memory, I’ve tarnished it by touching myself to the thought of Phoenix every single night.
”Great! Now I’ve got to go find her and make sure she’s ok. I swear to you Steve, I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a Dad. This constant worry is about to drive me insane. The entire time I was on the run, I never felt like this. But, I suddenly have a daughter and I worry about every single thing when it comes to her.”
I saw the worry lines on his forehead. He cares deeply for her. I can’t imagine ever doing anything to make him hate me.
If I went after Phoenix, he would. He’d never trust me again.
“You love her. Worry just comes along with it.”
He agreed and began to rub his temples.
We all jerked as a sudden boom was heard in the distance.
Bucky and Thor both looked up at me and then we all ran to the window to see what happened.
Looking out across the forest, a dark ploom of smoke rose up from the forest a few miles away. Fire stretched up to the sky several hundred feet.
Its like a bomb went off. The building was hit with a shock wave from the explosion.
Bucky and I shared a look, both of us coming up with the same conclusion at the same time.
Every single Avenger in the building ended up outside, headed toward the site of the explosion.
Panic was clawing it’s way up my throat, hoping Phoenix was ok. I couldn’t except any other option.
I’ll never be able to forgive myself if something happened to her.
Hopefully we’ll just find her pissed off and letting off a little steam.
Bucky too was panicking. The look on his face was shear terror.
We made it to the edge of the burnt forest and peered out into the half mile wide epicenter to whatever happened here.
The ground was still sizzling in some places. Trees bent and twisted. Grass below our feet was black as soot.
”What the hell?”
Tony took the words right out of my mouth.
He suddenly took to the sky in his suit, scanning the area for life signs. Hoping to find Phoenix.
He was only up for a few minutes before landing in front of us. Helmet going up with a whoosh.
”You gotta see this!”
He led us to the center of the burnt out area.
We all stood in shock.
There where it all must have come from, was a burnt out shape of a person.
Bucky stood up and looked around frantically.
”Phoenix! Nix! Where are you?”
We all turned around when Thor picked something up from the ground.
”What is this? Some strange weapon of some kind?”
Bruce rushed over and took it from Thor. His eyes got huge as he showed everyone what Thor had found.
I snatched it out of his hands and my blood ran cold.
From the look on Bucky’s face...so did his.
”It’s a tranquilizer dart! Oh God! Steve. Hydra has my daughter!”
Tony took to the sky again up and began to scan for any heat signatures in the area or traces of exhaust from any kind of vehicle or aircraft.
We needed to find her now! The longer Hydra has her in their grasp, the greater chance they have at hurting her.
Or worse, killing her.
It took everything I had in me to not break down in front of everyone.
This was all my fault.
If Phoenix dies, Bucky will never forgive me for taking away his only child.
I’ll truly loose everything.
It took several tries to fully open my eyes. The bright lights hurt, yet felt familiar all at once.
I tried to rub my eyes, but discovered I couldn’t move my arms.
I began to panic.
I couldn’t move my legs either.
I looked around the sterile white room. It was circular in shape with windows all around.
A viewing area.
I cried out and screamed bloody murder, desperately trying to free myself. Willing my powers to come back so I can kill every single Hydra agent I can find.
The cold metal of the table below me, was hard and unforgiving. Every move made it press hard into sore muscles and aching bones.
What did they give me?! I’ve never felt like this before. So vulnerable and weak.
Pure unadulterated fear courses through my veins.
This was the same kind of room I use to be taken too when the scientists would perform their tests on me. Or test a new poison or drug.
It was a room of torture!
Tears fell from my eyes and I cried, wishing I had never lost my temper.
It was my own fault for getting caught.
The door opening caused me to jerk all my attention to the occupant entering.
The mastermind behind everything that ever happened to me. Even my creation.
“Ah, I see you are awake 23. Good, we can begin now.”
I couldn’t help but fight back the only way I could.
”My name, Asshole, is Phoenix! Phoenix Rebecca Barnes!”
More tears came as I remember my Dad giving me my middle name. It was his sister’s name.
He laughed like you would at a petulant child asking for a cookie before dinner.
”Names would indicate you are anything but the creature I created with my blood, sweat and perseverance. You are what I say you are. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Administering your fix.”
Fix?! What the fuck is he even talking about?
More people in white coats came into the room and began to set up some kind of machine at the head of my bed.
They kept putting something cold and sticky to my head that had wires coming from them.
I kept trying to fight them. Pulling my head away when they would come near me.
This soon stopped when they strapped my head down. All I could do was watch in horror.
One person came up to me with a leather strap in his hands.
I refused, clamping my mouth shut tight.
No sooner did I refuse, that several people grabbed at me and pried my mouth open.
I was baffled that they could even do that. It’s as if all my strength had left me. Like I was a normal person that wasn’t enhanced.
The leather strap was shoved into my mouth and I gagged in the taste, hoping I wouldn’t throw up.
Dr. Heinrich approached me with a syringe filled with a strange green substance.
He pushed the needle up and some squirted out the tip. Flicking the syringe, he got rid of any air bubbles.
I watched in total helplessness as he cleaned my arm with alcohol and administered the injection.
I had no idea what he was giving me. But I knew one thing for sure. Whenever I was in this room, pain soon followed.
My veins began to feel like it was on fire. Screams were muffled by the leather strap.
Just when I thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, the Doctor nodded toward the technician still by my head.
”Do it. Wipe her. I want a clean slate before we begin. Let me know when it’s finished.”
He turned to leave the room and gave an evil laugh as the man next to me flicked on a switch.
I screamed out in pain as electricity coursed through my head. My body jerked and spasmed.
The pain suddenly stopped.
I looked up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes and felt foggy.
The pain started again.
Again and again it was a series of pain as they literally tried to fry my brain.
I was foaming at the mouth and blood trickled from my ears and nose.
The shock stopped for the unknown amount of time and someone shined a light in my eyes, evaluating me.
My body kept twitching as if the electric current was still being administered.
My mind was disconnected, nothing felt real as if in a dream state.
I knew I needed to be afraid, but I couldn’t remember why.
The strap from my mouth was removed and I tasted blood.
”What’s your name?”
I tried to focus on the voice next to me, my brain still feeling like mush. Nothing made sense.
What’s my name?
I have a name, don’t I?
”I said, what’s your name!”
I was smacked hard and it seemed to jolt me out of the trance I was in.
When I tried to talk, it came out broken up and stuttered as if my brain couldn’t figure out how to put together words.
”M m m m my n n na na name?”
”Yes, What is your name?”
I tried to remember what my name was. I had one. I think. It’s like it was there but just out of reach.
“D d do I h h h ha ha ha have a n na name?”
The man grinned and hit a button on the wall.
A disembodied voice called out.
”It was a success, she doesn’t remember. What should I do with her?”
”Put her in the holding cell. Once her body stabilizes, then we can begin. Let me know her progress.”
The straps holding me down we’re removed and I was sat up on the table. They had to help me sit up right. My body still twitching from the shocks.
”P p p ple please. W w wha what’s my n n n n na name?”
The man smiled and pat my cheek.
“You are 23. Don’t you remember?”
I frowned and tried to remember. 23? It did seem familiar somehow.
My name is 23.
”Yes, 23. Now, let’s get you to your room so you can rest. Then, tomorrow, you’ll get to be so much more. You my dear are going to be mother to the next generation of Super Soldiers.”
Mother? I didn’t understand. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing felt normal or right.
I was taken to a room and laid down on a soft bed. The lights were lowered, for which I was grateful for. Everything hurt, including my eyes.
Exhaustion seemed to take over and my confused mind went blank again as I passed out into blissful nothingness.
I awoke with a start, an intense nightmare waking me up. Sweat covered my body. Clothes sticking to me like I’d been dunked in water.
I laid back down and groaned from how badly I hurt all over. My teeth chattered and I shivered. I was so cold.
They had originally expected me to just rest for 24 hours and then begin their pre-testing to make sure I was a viable host for their future army of soldiers.
Two days into the worst fever I can ever imagine possible, I slowly began to get pieces of my memory back.
It was jumbled, but it was enough to know I needed to keep quiet and play along. Letting them believe I was still their mindless experiment baby momma to be.
Just like before, they didn’t sensor themselves around me. I learned what they had planned for me.
They were having trouble making any new babies. I was a fluke apparently and it’s only been failure after failure since the Snap was reversed.
They figured out that they needed an enhanced human host, strong enough to withstand multiple pregnancies over and over again.
I was their best choice.
I was going to be their own personal incubator.
What was even more disturbing was the embryos they planned on implanting inside me, were my exact copies. They came from the same DNA I was created from.
My sisters if you will.
So, technically, I’d be pregnant with myself.
That’s just so fucked up on multiple levels.
As weird as it all sounded, to them, it made perfect sense.
My body being identical to the baby inside me, wouldn’t reject the embryo like the others had.
The surrogates before weren’t strong enough to withstand the pregnancy. Some even died. So did the babies they carried.
I knew one thing for certain. I needed to escape. I figured the best time to do it, was when they came to take me for the implantation.
I still twitched occasionally. Sometimes my stutter was so bad that the scientists would get irritated at me and give up all together on getting me to answer any kind of questions.
Good. I didn’t want to talk to them anyway.
I laid in my room for a week before my fever broke and I was deemed fit enough for the procedure.
It was now or never.
Two guards came to collect me and take me to the exam room.
I pretended to be out of it, so weak that I could barely walk.
They half dragged me out of bed and out of my room. Once we reached a long stretch of hallway, I made my move.
I reached down and grabbed the tranquilizer gun off the hip of the guard to my right.
I went dead weight and they lost their grip on me enough to where I could aim the gun and fire.
I struck each guard twice. Enough sedative to knock out an elephant.
Once they were out, I disarmed them and took the weapons with me. Knowing I would need them to escape the grounds outside the compound.
If this facility is anything like the first one I was at that is.
I limped down the hall. My legs hurt and my back was screaming at me. But I knew I had to keep going.
My life depended on it.
I heard voices as I turned a corner and I panicked, ducking into a room and locking the door behind me.
I was listening at the door, my ear pressed right to the cool metal...when I heard it.
I spun around and there in an incubator, was a new born baby.
I crept closer and looked the baby over. It didn’t look well.
It was tiny.
I grabbed a chart off of a clip and read the report.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
It was me.
Well, another version of me. Genetically identical.
The surrogate died and the baby was saved. But she was very early.
She was numbered as PX36.
The chart said the baby was making progress and was now on normal oxygen, but needed to mature more before experimentation could proceed, to ensure she would live.
I knew I had to take her with me.
I can’t leave her behind to be tortured by those evil bastards!
I read the chart carefully to know it was safe enough to take her out.
I grabbed a blanket and made a makeshift sling to carry her in, since my arms were still weak and I was afraid I would drop her.
Formula was on a shelf nearby, so I grabbed that too. I didn’t know how long we’d be on the run and I didn’t want her to starve.
Pulling open the incubator, I cooed at the baby as she whimpered, picking her up as gently as I could and placed her in the sling.
She felt like she weighed nothing.
Listening at the door, I waited until it was silent before I crept out and back down the hall.
I made it to an exit just as all hell broke loose.
Alarms started blaring and lights flashed on and off.
I rushed out the door and it was shear luck that they didn’t find me.
Perhaps they figured I was still in the building, searching room after room.
They would soon discover I had the baby.
I pleaded to what ever higher power there may be, that we’d make it out of this alive.
Both of us.
I managed to evade capture.
The forest went on for miles and miles. It seemed to go on forever.
I was in so much pain and my fever was back.
I was limping and every movement hurt like my bones were breaking.
Tears dried up long ago. I was so dehydrated, saving everything for the baby, to ensure she’d live.
She was unnaturally quiet.
She didn’t cry.
Which for our safety was a good thing.
But it made me wonder if I was doing her more harm than good.
At least she would be free of Hydra, and not learn the horrors she’d have to be put through.
She could grow up and live a normal life. A life where she can be nurtured and loved, like she deserves.
It was too late for me.
I knew I was dying.
I could feel it.
Every step took me closer to my end.
My only goal was to get her to safety before I went.
Its the only thing that kept me going.
That and the hope that I’d get to one day see my Dad again, and Steve.
My twitching was worse. I was finding it hard to even walk anymore.
My feet were blistered and starting to bleed.
I’ve refused to sleep a single moment while on the run. I was down to my last moments and I was becoming desperate to find some sort of civilization.
I hear the sound of a jet engine and I tried my best to pick up the pace, but my body wouldn’t let me.
I was holding onto trees to stay upright. My legs were bruised and bloody from as many times I’ve stumbled.
The noise grew louder and the foliage on the surrounding trees were blown around.
They were close.
My heart was pounding in my ears, but somehow I heard my name being shouted over it and the sound of the jet engine.
I knew that voice.
I turned around.
Steve, was running straight toward me.
I cried out his name and tried to push away from the tree I was using as a prop, only to have my knees buckle under me, refusing to go another step.
Before I hit the ground, large warm arms surrounded me and went to the ground with me.
My body began to spasm.
I tried to open my eyes as I heard his sweet voice against my ear.
”Phoenix, I’ve got you. It’s ok, I’ve got you.”
It may have been my imagination, but I could have swore I felt him pull my face toward his. A gentle kiss was placed upon my lips.
I could taste the saltiness of his tears.
Did he kiss me?
Perhaps I’m already dead and this is heaven.
I heard other voices shouting and tried to pry my heavy eyelids open the best I could.
My father fell before me, tears streaming down his face as he took me into his arms and away from Steve.
I cried out from the pain.
It was now or never.
I didn’t have much time.
”Tttttt t ta ta ta take hhhhh her. Pppppp pllll please.”
I grabbed my father’s hand from my cheek and placed it on the baby nestled snugly against my belly in the sling.
After all this time, she chose that very moment to finally cry.
He went wide eyed, calling out to Natasha.
Nat reaches in the blanket and she gasped as she pulled out the tiny newborn.
”Oh God! Bucky, it’s a baby! Where the hell did she get a baby?!”
I grabbed my father’s hand again and placed it on the baby in Natasha’s arms.
”Sssss she’s yyyyy yo yours. It’s mmm m me. Tttttt ta ta take ccc care of hhhh he her. Giii give her tttt the lll llllo love I nnn never g gggg got.”
Dad cried as he cupped my face, looking me deep in my eyes.
”Oh Sweetheart, I’ve loved you the moment I found out you were mine. Even before the DNA test. Please, please stay with me. Don’t leave me. I just got you. I can’t lose you. We’re gonna get you help Baby, just hold on. Please, just hold on!”
I could feel the life being drained from my body. I knew I needed to say this now, because I’ll never get another chance.
For some reason, fate decided I could say it without a stutter.
For that I was grateful.
”I love you Daddy.”
I heard him crying as he cradled me to his chest, telling me over and over that he love me and to please stay with him.
My body stopped twitching.
A sense of calm came over me.
It was time.
It was my time to go.
At least I’ll die knowing I was loved.
Even if it was for just a short while. It was more than I’d ever hoped for.
I sat in her hospital room and watched her sleep.
When she died in Bucky’s arms, it felt as if my world came crashing to an end. It was worse than crashing that damn plain into the ice.
Ten times worse than losing Peggy.
It was that very moment that I realized how much I’d fallen in love with her. And she’ll never know.
Bucky was beyond distraught.
I’m not sure what came over me.
I refused to lose another woman I loved.
I pulled her from Bucky’s arms and ran for the jet.
Everyone chased after me. Bucky screaming at me to give him back his daughter.
But I couldn’t. Not until we’ve tried everything we can to revive her.
Clint took off the moment everyone was on board. I ordered him to take us to the nearest hospital.
I laid her down on the floor of the Quinjet, and through my tears, I began CPR.
I kept screaming at her to come back.
”Live dammit! Live!”
Bucky snapped out of his hysteria and joined me on the floor, taking up chest compressions as I did mouth to mouth.
Her lips were cold. Nothing like they felt when I kissed her just moments ago.
When she fell into my arms, I couldn’t help myself. So overwhelmed from finally finding her, I kissed her gently, crying tears of relief.
I never stopped working on her for the thirty minutes it took us to get to a hospital.
When the ER doctor and nurses took her from us, I nearly collapsed to the ground.
If it weren’t for Bucky grabbing me and hugging me, I surely would have.
When we got to the hospital, she finally had a faint pulse.
We brought her back.
Now it was up to the medical personnel to do their job.
Which they did.
So I’m sitting here, watching her sleep. She’s been out for three days straight.
Bucky hasn’t left her side until earlier this morning. He went to check on the baby.
She wasn’t doing that well either when we first got her here.
She had to be put in the NICU and given medicine to help her lungs that were failing.
But she was a fighter. Just like Phoenix.
I quickly wiped tears off my face as Natasha entered the room.
She went over to her bed and took her hand, caressing the back of it gently.
”Has she tried to wake up yet?”
I shook my head.
”No. There’s been no change.”
Even I could hear the emotions behind my words. I needed to keep myself in check.
I knew I loved her, but I still couldn’t let anyone know. Bucky can’t find out.
Natasha sighed and came to sit in the chair beside me.
We sat quietly for a few minutes before she finally put her hand on top of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
”She’s alive Steve. Thanks to you. You saved her life.”
I swallowed down the tears threatening to spill all over again.
”Don’t thank me. It’s my fault she’s here in the first place. If I’d just kept my mouth shut and stop acting like I was..”
I turned my head and looked at her. She gave me a sympathetic smile.
”I know you’re in love with her Steve. Any fool with eyes can see that.”
Slight panic hit me hard.
She pat my hand before removing it.
”Does Bucky know?”
”He didn’t before three days ago. He doesn’t know for sure. But he has suspicions. He’s just been so focused on her recovery and making sure the baby is taken care of as well. He’s stressed out right now. Which is understandable.”
I returned my gaze to Nix. Anxiety making my heart pound at the thought of Bucky figuring out how I feel.
“I really tried Natasha. I did. I tried not to love her. I wanted nothing to do with it. Refusing to give in to feelings that should have belonged only to Peggy. But she wormed her way in.”
She smiled and looped her arm with mine, laying her head on my shoulder.
”She did with everyone. Myself included.”
We sat quietly some more until Bucky came back.
I shook my head no and got up to leave, giving him and Natasha time alone with her.
He wouldn’t look me in the eyes.
I wouldn’t blame him for hating me.
I deserve it.
Steve left and I sighed heavily as I took the seat he once sat in.
Natasha took my hand and laced her fingers with mine.
“You figured it out, didn’t you?”
I looked up at her.
”So he really is in love with her? I had my suspicions for a while that he had feelings for her. But I knew how much he was against being with anyone because of Peggy. Which by the way, between you and me, was stupid. Beyond stupid.”
I stood up and paced at the foot of my daughter’s bed.
”He’s so hell bent on being faithful to a woman that married another man and had a family with him. Doesn’t look like she honored his memory the same why he’s doing hers. But Nat, come on, my daughter? Really?! Can’t he find someone else?”
She gave me one of her crooked smiles before standing and joining me. Wrapping her arms around my middle, she leaned in and kissed me gently.
”Bucky, you of all people should know that you can’t control who you fall in love with. In the beginning of our arrangement, neither one of us expected it to go beyond the occasional mid blowing sex. But it did. We both fought against it. But fighting got us no where.”
I had to admit she had a point. We’d started our relationship as friends with benefits. Slowly she stole my heart.
I wasn’t looking for love. Far from it. It just sort of snuck up on me. On both of us.
Natasha was the hardest to convince that what we had was something great. But she too eventually caved and admitted to her feelings for me.
Could I really blame Steve for loving Phoenix?
They were close. They spent every day together. Perhaps I’ve just been blind this whole time. Refusing to see what’s been right in front of my face.
”I’m still not crazy about the idea. But Steve is a great guy. He’s exactly the kind of man I’d hope that she’d end up with. I guess I’m just having a hard time letting go. I just got her. I didn’t want to share her love with anyone.”
It was that very moment that Phoenix made a groan that was so faint, even I had a hard time hearing it.
We rushes to her side and I took her hand in mine.
”Phoenix, Sweetheart, it’s Dad. Please Baby, open your eyes for me.”
Slowly she began to stir, her eyes fluttering open.
She looked up at me and I began to cry happy tears.
I lost it.
No other explanation for it.
I pulled her to my chest and cried. I was overwhelmed with joy at having her back.
My heart nearly stopped in that forest as hers did. And now it was pounding away as I felt her warmth in my arms.
She looked so much better. Her color was returning and her twitching had stopped yesterday.
The doctors have hope that eventually her body will correct whatever damage was done to her.
Pulling back out of our hug, I wiped her tears from her cheeks.
“Hi back atcha Baby Girl. Boy am I glad to see you awake. You scared me to death. Don’t you ever try to leave me again. You got it?”
She gave a weak but emotional smile.
“I’ll do my best.”
She took a look around.
”Where’s the baby? Is she ok? Did she make it?”
I could see slight panic in her eyes. So I told her how the baby was doing.
She was struggling, but improving every single day.
The doctors think she’ll be able to come home in just a few days, a week tops.
She was so relieved. Her body relaxing back onto her pillow.
”So what will you name her?”
I looked back at Natasha and smiled. We’d actually had been talking about that very thing earlier this morning.
Natasha had said we needed too soon. It was too depressing to see her in that incubator with a note on it saying ‘Baby Girl Barnes’.
”Well, we were thinking about naming her Hope Alianova Barnes. What do you think?”
She smiled and looked up at Natasha.
”You gave her your middle name. I like it. Hope. It suits her I think.”
I reached over and took Natasha’s hand in mine. My love for her showed in my smile.
”We thought it was fitting as well, since the fine hair on her little head are coming in red.”
Her eyes widened.
”Red? Really? I don’t think I ever had red hair. Well, at least I don’t remember if I did. Wow! It’s like she’s really yours and Natasha’s. I think it’s wonderful.”
Three days after I woke up, I was finally able to go home.
Steve was helpful and very attentive, but very quiet.
I asked him what was wrong and he would only tell me that he felt guilty for how everything happened before I was taken.
I tried to tell him that it was all behind us and that I didn’t hold anything against him.
I even apologized for how I behaved with Thor and that it was all just a joke.
He still remained as quiet and stoic as ever.
I couldn’t figure him out.
The fact that I was given a second chance at life, I didn’t want anything between us that would hurt our friendship.
We needed to do something together that would bring the old Steve back. Something we could do together and bond over.
I grabbed his hand and held it tight.
”Let’s go do something. Just you and me. I have an idea, but I want it to be a secret and you have to promise me to have an open mind.”
He gripped my hand tighter as I tugged him closer to the door.
”Ok, I can do that. Where are we going?”
I laughed and smacked at his chest.
”If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret then, would it?”
He smiled and rolled his eyes, agreeing to whatever I had in mind.
I had him drive his motorcycle. Driving us an hour into the next town, leading him down different streets. I could tell he was very confused as to where we were going.
Finally I had him pull into a parking lot.
”Alright, we’re here!”
I hopped off the back of the bike and grinned as he looked confused at the store in front of us.
”Sooo, you’re wanting to eat Chinese food? That’s your secret?”
”No silly, not the restaurant, the place next door.”
His eyes widened and he looked back at me.
”The tattoo parlor?! You want to get tattoos together? Really? Isn’t that...permanent?”
I laughed and tugged on his hand to make him get off the bike.
”Yes, tattoos. I just cheated death dude! Plus I need to get this thing covered. It’s driving me crazy.”
He looked down at the tattoo of PX23 that was put on my inner wrist when I was taken by Hydra.
He looked wary and practically drug his feet as I pulled him into the shop.
A man and woman greeted us that were both covered in tattoos. It made me even more excited to have this done.
I was determined to do this and for Steve to do it with me.
But I also had another plan in mind for him.
I knew he’d never be with me like I want. But that doesn’t mean I can’t let him know how much I care for him.
If dying taught me anything, it was to live life every day like it’s your last. Never leave anything left unsaid.
”I don’t know about this. Plus I have no idea what I’d even get, or where.”
I laughed and pat his chest affectionately.
”That’s why you’re gonna let me pick the tattoo and where it goes.”
His eyes widened.
”What? You pick? I mean, as long as you don’t pick something degrading or stupid. It needs to be small though.”
I jumped up and down with excitement that he was letting me do this.
Just imagine it, the former Captain America with a tattoo!!
I went to the tattoo artist that would be tattooing Steve and asked for a pencil and paper, to show him what I wanted done and where.
I then told my tattoo artist what I wanted on my wrist.
They had instructions to cover them up and not let Steve see what they were until we got home.
We had our backs to each other as the tattoos began. With every buzz of the needle, my heart pounded with nerves. Hoping this idea wouldn’t backfire on me.
Two hours later we were home.
We had our tattoos covered. Steve’s was on his left pectoral. Mine of course was my left wrist.
I told Steve to meet me in my quarters in half an hour and then we can reveal them to the other.
My pec ached just a tiny bit, the tattoo already healing due to the serum.
I was nervous to find out what she’d had them put on me.
I wanted to drop my keys and leather jacket off at my quarters before heading back over to Nix’s.
I opened my door and stepped inside.
”We need to talk.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin.
Bucky was sitting in a chair in my living room...in the dark.
”What the hell Buck?! You scared me half to death!”
He rolled his eyes and pointed to the couch across from him.
”Quit being dramatic. Have a seat, there’s some things I need to say to you and it’s very important.”
Oh shit! Here it comes. He knows and now our friendship is over. He’s going to hate me.
I sat down cautiously. Picking at the skin around my nail bed.
”I know you are in love with my daughter. And before you try to deny it and lie to make me think otherwise, I need you to hear me out.”
I nodded and stayed silent. I was not about to argue with him.
”Quit being a stubborn idiot and stop holding yourself back because of a woman who’s been dead for years and who had no problem moving on without you. Also, you have my blessing. As long as she feels the same of course.”
I was stunned.
He’s giving me his blessing?!
He suddenly got up and started to leave.
”Wait! You’re ok with it? You don’t mind that I have feelings for her? You don’t hate me?”
He laughed. Actually laughed.
”Steve, I love you like a brother. I could never hate you. Not about loving my baby girl. But I swear to God Steve, if the time ever comes, you better never call me Dad or I’ll kick your ass. Got it?”
I saluted him and grinned from ear to ear.
”You have my word.”
He left and I was on cloud nine. Bucky was ok with me being with Phoenix.
But the big question is, does she have feelings for me?
Its one thing to admit to being in love with someone, but if they don’t return your feelings, then it’s all for nothing.
I quickly made my way to her quarters. Desperate to find out how she feels.
Now I was afraid for a whole other reason.
I knocked and she answered with the biggest smile on her face.
I couldn’t hide the joy on my face at seeing her. I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.
”Come on, let’s go take a look at these things. See what you’ve done to me.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes.
”Oh come on you big Ninny. You won’t regret it. At least I hope you won’t.”
She suddenly became nervous. I could tell from the way she chewed on her bottom lip.
We went to her bedroom where there was a big mirror over her dresser.
I pulled off my T-shirt and we took one last look at each other before pulling off the bandages.
I stood there and stared at myself in the mirror.
On my left pec was a Phoenix. An actual Phoenix bird, in flames. It was only about two inches wide and long.
I looked down at her wrist and I felt my heart leap.
She had a tattoo of my shield.
“My shield? Why?”
”I wanted you to be with me wherever I go. To be reminded that no matter what happens to me, you’ll be there.”
I could feel my eyes beginning to prickle with tears. Hope springing eternal.
”And my Phoenix?”
She reached up and laid her hand flat on my chest over my heart.
”I wanted a piece of me to be with you always as well. Plus, it’s the closest you’ll ever let me get to your heart.”
How could I have been so stupid? It was as plain as day on her face. In her eyes. The way she touched me.
She loved me too.
”Phoenix....you’re already there.”
Her eyes widened briefly before I pulled her roughly into my arms and pressed my lips to hers.
I gasped when he grabbed me by my upper arms and pulled me to his chest. The last thing I expected him to do was kiss me.
And God damn was it a kiss!
His large hands cupped my jaw, deepening the kiss. His lips felt like magic. They were softer than I remember. More pliant.
Perhaps it’s because this time, he’s not holding back.
He groaned as my tongue grazed his. I could taste the minty toothpaste he used to brush his teeth. Probably right before coming over.
He pulled back only slightly. Enough for me to see his pupils blown wide with such intense want. His cheeks had a slight pink tint.
He took his hands from my face and slid them around my waist.
He gave me a half crooked smile as one hand went to my rear and squeezed the globe. I whined as he pulled me harder against his pelvis.
I could feel how hard he was. Even through his blue jeans, I could practically feel the heat radiating from him.
“Is this ok?”
Oh so slowly, he bent his head and skimmed his lips over mine, teasing me with them.
I whined in protest.
”Steve..it’s more than ok. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what has felt like an eternity.”
Wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, I pulled him closer. Our lips coming together again.
This kiss was slow and sensual. Every caress of his lips and tongue brought me closer and closer to begging him to take me.
I’ve wanted him for so long and now I have him. I didn’t want to go slow right now. I needed him too desperately.
I rolled my hips into his.
He broke the kiss and groaned, licking his lips. He looked like he wanted to eat me alive.
”Steve, I want you. Please. I can’t wait anymore. I need you now.”
His lips pressed to my neck, kissing and licking a path up to a sensitive place just below my ear.
His beard tickled, but also heightened the experience in a way I didn’t expect.
I shuddered all over. My pussy clenched in anticipation of what’s to come.
”I want you too Phoenix. More than anything. I’ve been so foolish. But never again.”
I squealed as his hands cupped both cheeks of my ass and hauled me up his body. My legs wrapped around his waist.
I rolled my hips again, pressing my crotch against the bulge in his pants. It sent shivers up my spine.
“Take me Steve. Make me yours.”
I should have known he’d come back with something idiotic, because he had such a cheesy grin on his face.
”Take you where? I thought we were spending the evening in bed together. But if you’d rather go out...”
I looked at him as if he’d just said something absolutely repulsive. I play smacked his shoulder.
”Oh you! Shut your mouth. You know what I was referring to. Or do I have to spell it out for you?”
He gave a small laugh. That grin still on his face.
Steve liked to play.
He walked me to my bed, his hands still full of ass cheeks.
Once he got to the bed, he crawled up onto the mattress.
Removing his right hand from my ass, he placed it on the middle of my back as he laid me down.
“I think you definitely need to spell it out for me. I am a bit slow it seems.”
I gave him a look that pretty much told him that I agreed.
”You want me to spell out what I want you to do to me?”
I wrapped my calves around his thighs and tugged him forward. His lower half pressed into me and I think I saw stars as his clothed erection hit me just right.
”Steve, quit being an I D I O T and F U C K me. That clear enough for you?”
He rolled his hips as he answered me.
”Good, now come here.”
I wrapped my arms back around his neck and pulled him flush against my body, kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.
Because there almost wasn’t one.
His right hand palmed my outer thigh, then hooked behind my knee and draped my leg over his hip.
He practically growled. Which pretty much ruined my panties, if they weren’t ruined enough already.
His lower half started a rhythm while he kissed me. With each swipe of his tongue against mine, his hips would in turn thrust slowly into me.
After a while, I couldn’t take anymore. I needed to cum so damn bad that I could barely see straight.
I pulled my lips from his.
”Dammit Steve! I said fuck me, not torture me! Jesus, I need to cum so fucking bad.”
The look he gave me was 100% panty dropping.
I squealed as he grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt and ripped it straight up the front, leaving my bra covered breasts on display.
”Holy shit, that was hot!!”
”You don’t mind? It’s not too much?”
He suddenly looked almost shy, nervous even. What does he have to be nervous abo....
”Steve? You’ve had sex before, right?”
He blushes even redder.
“No. The closest I came to it, was a blow job back in the forties. Why? It shows doesn’t it?”
Well fucking hell! I can’t let him think he’s bad at this. Not when he’s worked me up so much by just kissing me.
“No! Of course not. Hell, you’ve got me so turned on right now, that it wouldn’t take much for me to cum. Seriously, you should feel how wet I am right now. Practically gushing.”
The look he gave me was almost mischievous. His eyes raking down my body to my crotch.
When he licked his lips, I whined and wiggled beneath him.
”Take them off, I want to see.”
He pulled back and knelt in front of me, giving me room to remove my blue jeans.
With speed that definitely spoke high of how horny I was, I was soon naked from the waist down. The top was halfway there.
I laid back and spread my legs for him, knees propped up. He looked down at my pussy and I saw his jaw tick and his fists clenching at his sides.
“Please, Steve. Touch me.”
He tore his eyes from my crotch and crawled back up my body.
With a flick of his fingers, the clasp on the front of my bra popped open and my breasts spilled out.
He groaned and lowered his head to the fleshy mounds.
He gave a tentative lick to a hardened peak, before sucking the nipple into his mouth.
I arched against him. The feeling he was creating by suckling my nipple, went straight to my pussy.
I was about to plead with his again to touch me where I want him to, when I felt his right hand start sliding down my ribs.
Down it went. He took a moment to massage my hip and thigh, before reversing course.
The first touch of his large fingers against my most sensitive spot, had me arching off the bed and moaning lewdly.
”Is this what you want Baby?”
”Yes! Fuck yes! More, I need more.”
He gave a low laugh as he watched me writhing beneath him. His fingers were slowly circling my clit before sliding down to do the same thing to my opening.
He was teasing me, the little shit!
I growled at him and was about to give him a severe tongue lashing. Only to practically scream in pleasure as he suddenly plunged two fingers deep inside my pussy.
He hooked his fingers and was trying to find my gspot. Well, at least I didn’t have to coach him on what it was, thank God!
It felt amazing, but he still hadn’t quite found that spot just yet. That is until he shifted his hand a bit to have his thumb caress my clit.
The change in angle had him hitting my gspot right on.
”Oh fuck! Right there! Shit shit shit! Yes, don’t stop, please don’t stop!”
I was practically screaming at him.
He picked up the pace and kissed me all at the same time.
He consumed all my screams of ecstasy as I came. Hard.
I rode out my orgasm on his hand, practically soaking him to his wrist.
He pulled back from me again, propping himself up on his left elbow.
I whined as I watched him stick his two fingers he had inside me, into his mouth and licked them clean.
”Dammit Rogers! Stick your cock in my right fucking now!”
He quickly got up and removed himself of his clothing. His movements told me everything I needed to know.
He’d been holding himself back.
He was just as desperate for my pussy and I was for his cock.
I gasped at the size of him, hoping he would fit. But it definitely didn’t make me want him any less.
Dammit, I’ll make the monster fit!
He crawled back up my body and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him toward me.
I groaned as the velvety smooth head of his dick brushed against my clit.
“Phoenix, should I put on a...you know. I didn’t really bring any with me. Fuck! Please tell me you have some.”
I didn’t have any condoms of course. But I wasn’t about to let that stop Steve from making love to me.
”No, I don’t have any either. Wasn’t really expecting to have sex today. But it’s ok, just pull out when you cum. It’ll be alright.”
He looked uneasy for a moment as he considered that course of action and what the consequences might be.
But once I rolled my wet pussy against him, his decision was made.
He adjusted his hip and just when I thought he would ease inside me, he thrust hard into me and bottomed out.
Steve moaned and grunted as he pulled halfway out before ramming back inside me.
An unsteady breath left his mouth and a shudder rippled through his body.
“Fuck you feel good! Too good. So tight and warm and so fucking wet. I..I don’t think I’m gonna last long Baby.”
I clenched around him, already close to cuming again. He growled in response. His cock throbbing inside me.
He was just as close as I was.
”Let go Steve. You won’t break me. I’m gonna cum soon too. Please, fuck me. Hard!”
Everything became a blur.
His hips were pounding into me. The slapping of our skin and the sounds of how wet I was, echoed throughout my bedroom.
All I could do was cling to him and rut up into him with each thrust.
At one point, Steve released my hip with his left hand and slammed it into the headboard above my head, arching his body and changed the angle of his thrusts.
I was a goner.
I screamed as I came. My body literally shaking from the intensity.
I was vaguely aware that Steve was cuming too. His loud grunts and moans nearly made me cum a third time.
I was so out of it with pleasure, that I didn’t realize that Steve didn’t pull out.
He came inside me.
I don’t think he even realizes he did it.
He lay half on top of me, breathing heavy with his eyes closed.
He was still having aftershocks from his orgasm.
I clenched around him again and he moaned, grinding his hips against me.
His eyes suddenly flew open.
He pushed up onto his knees and looked down at me and the cum now leaking out of my cunt.
”Uh...Shit! Phoenix, what did I just do?!”
I laughed and watched the nervousness fade quickly off his face as I reached down and swirled my fingers of my right hand in his cum and use it to rub my clit.
“Looks like you came inside me. Feel that good huh?”
He seemed mesmerized by the look of his cum smeared all over my pussy.
”You have no idea. So, what do we do now?”
I brought the same fingers I used to masterbate with his cum, up to my mouth and hummed in approval as I licked and sucked them clean.
His cock was already hard again, and I was definitely ready for round two.
I had a brief moment of worry about what would happen from him cuming in me, but for the life of me, I just couldn’t give a damn.
”What do we do now? Well, as I see it, you have two options. Option one, you get redressed and we call it a night and tomorrow I take the morning after pill. Or, option two, you fuck me again while I’m on my knees and cum in me again.”
I don’t even think he considered option one, because I was suddenly pulled up and turned around and put on all fours.
I rid myself of my torn shirt and unhooked bra.
I gasped as he gripped my hips, holding on brutally tight as he thrust inside me.
We ended up fucking most, if not all night long.
Steve had me in every position imaginable as the night progressed. Not once did we mention the fact that we weren’t using any kind of protection.
At one point when he’d suggested another position to fuck me in, I had to laugh and ask him.
”Where did a virgin learn about all these positions?”
He laughed and pat my rear gently, making me half turn and look at him from my reverse cowgirl position.
”Porn can be VERY educational.”
I burst out laughing, trying to imagine him watching porn.
I lifted up and almost off of his cock and was about to go back down, when a thought struck me.
”Steve? When you were jacking off every night, were you watching porn to get off?”
He had a grip on my hips, trying to pull me back down his length.
”Sometimes, but mostly I just thou...wait, how did you know I did that every day? Can you hear me?!”
Oh, opps. I guess I let the cat out of the bag.
”Um, yeah, I can. But if it makes you feel better, I masterbated right along with you every single time. Took everything in me not to go knock on your door and help you out.”
I laughed as his shocked expression, only to gasp as he gave my ass a quick smack.
Not enough to really hurt though.
”You are such a naughty girl. Whatever am I gonna do with you?”
”Fuck me senseless, I hope.”
I got up off his cock and spun around impaling myself back on his, so I could face him.
Leaning down across his chest, his arms going around me to caress my back, I looked him deep in his eyes.
”And, perhaps, love me forever? Because, in case the tattoo wasn’t a dead giveaway, I love you Steve. Forever.”
He pulled me down and pressed his forehead to mine, his eyes closing.
”I love you too Phoenix. Till my very last breath and even beyond that. Always.”
My eyes clouded up with tears, knowing that no matter what may happen from this time forward, everything would work out just fine.
Man life is just freaking weird sometimes.
Weird like the fact that my best friend, my brother in all ways that matter, is in love with my newly discovered daughter.
Ok, not the actual new-new one, but my first...you know what, this line of thinking just messes with my mind. And I’ve had that fucked with way too many times.
I tried to forget the way Steve looked when he saw me sitting in his living room.
Steve being afraid is a new thing for me to process. He’s always been fearless, to a fault. Getting himself in more trouble than I can count on two hands. Probably toes too.
He’s been anxious. He’s been a freaking nervous wreck, but true out right fear? Never! He will be the first to go head first into the worst situations, and make everyone else look like pansies in the process, me included, without even thinking twice about it.
The only reason I even recognized the look on his face was because I saw fear for the first time ever in him when Phoenix was taken. Because I felt it too.
When it became clear that Hydra had her, he went ashen, color drained from his face. He looked terrified. Mine didn’t look any better.
I knew, well, suspected in that moment, that he had feelings for her.
It became even more clear as the time stretched on the whole week she was gone.
Steve was nearly impossible to be around. He was tense and jumpy, hardly sleeping as we pulled out all the tricks in our arsenal to find her.
The night before we found her, I went to go talk to him about it actually. Confront him. Make him tell me the truth and not just the bullshit he’s been pouring out of his lips for the past three months.
I was, until I saw him sitting alone, in the shadows. Crying.
It floored me.
I might as well have taken his right hook to my gut for how much it winded me.
I hadn’t seen Steve cry since he was little. Not as in a little kid, but tiny, skinny Steve. Not since his Ma’s funeral. Even then he held himself together better than he was at that moment.
He was in the game room where they spent a lot of time. The lights were out, but the moon was full and the windows that made up the whole front wall, cast a glow about the room.
He was holding something in his hands. It was dark and hard to make out, but as he shifted the material, I recognized Phoenix’s favorite hoodie.
She took that thing everywhere she went. Claimed it was the first thing she ever got that was all truly hers after escaping Hydra.
It was a rare occasion to ever see her without it.
My heart was breaking just thinking about it. My own eyes tearing up, wondering if I’ll ever see my daughter again.
Tears were streaming down his face as he silently cried, holding the hoodie to his face as if trying to get her scent.
As much as I wanted to kick his damn ass for even thinking about my daughter as anything but like a kid sister or niece, I also know how hard it’s been on him since everything with Thanos.
Hell, since that fateful day he crashed that stupid Hydra piece of shit into the damn Arctic.
His life was turned upside down and ripped apart in so many heart wrenching ways. He lost everything.
Just when he thought he found his sense of home again and began to settle into his new life as this new version of Steve, he had it all ripped apart all over again.
We all changed. Hard not to.
But Steve, he became bitter and more rough around the edges.
He was still the Steve I knew and loved before Thanos came. But after, it’s like a part of him died. The happy part. His heart. And that was a big part of what made Steve, Steve.
Oh sure, he’d smile every once in a while or he’d try to crack a joke. But the smile never truly touched his eyes. It felt like a mask. He’d shut himself off emotionally.
To see him give in to his emotions, even if it was for my daughter, was a fucking miracle.
The closest I’ve come to even getting any kind of true emotional reaction from him, was that day I helped him back to his room after the wall nearly killed him.
He had been angry. Pissed that life took a big ole shit on him and took away any happiness he thought he deserved.
But this, this Steve, was broken. His heart was shattered and I couldn’t bring myself to even go any further into the room.
Instead, I had quietly turned around and left.
The doubts of his feeling and what they truly were, vanished the moment we found her.
He didn’t even wait for the damn jet to land.
He’d leaped out of the hanger door as Clint tried to find a safe place to land.
He ran toward the heat signature we picked up like his fucking life depended on it.
I almost leaped with him, if it weren’t for Natasha.
She grabbed my arm and told me not to do anything foolish.
I’m still debating on if she did it to let Steve have his moment with Phoenix.
Yeah, I saw that fucking kiss.
But, at the time, I was just too relieved to see her again and then anguished as she died in my arms.
I had become so overwhelmed with grief. But Steve, he had this look come over him. He refused to let her die.
It’s as if there wasn’t any other option but her to live, like his own life depended on it.
Considering how much he’s lost, it may have.
I walked into the makeshift NICU that Bruce set up in the medical wing of the compound.
The nurses that Tony hired looked up from their desks and smiled at me.
”How’s she doing?”
The head nurse, Vicki, stood up and motioned toward the incubator where Hope was, following me as she talked.
”Much better. She grows stronger each and every single day. I have a feeling we won’t be needed much more after a few more days. She’s quite the fighter, your daughter.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I looked in on her and saw her sleeping.
“Yes she is. Just like her sister.”
I washed my hands at the sink before opening the incubator and lifting the so very tiny infant into my arms.
I cringed as I tried to maneuver her around to cradle her since she had to be on oxygen while out in normal air.
Vicki helped me to avoid all the tubes and wires hooked up to her and let me sit down in a rocking chair that Natasha bought to keep by her bed.
I cradled her gently to my chest and began to rock.
I still can’t believe she’s actually mine. But after getting Phoenix back and knew she was being taken care of, we all went back to the compound she was held in and burned the damn thing to the ground.
Of course that was after Natasha gained access to their database and downloaded everything they were doing.
I not only found out she was mine, but I also found out how many of my children died in their process of playing God.
Phoenix was # 23, but Hope was #36. Ten more embryos died after her, inside surrogates. In total, my DNA fathered forty-six children. I was lucky to have at least two of them.
Hope stirred and fussed a little as I adjusted my hold.
I leaned in and kissed the top of her head. Her smell alone giving me such a sense of calm.
“Quite something, isn’t it?”
I looked up and Natasha was leaning against the doorway, watching me hold and rock my daughter.
I don’t care what the DNA says, Natasha has taken to her like she’s her own mother. She’s always here. I was surprised actually when I came in and didn’t see her.
From the damp look to her hair, it’s probably due to a shower.
She walked closer and leaned over, kissing Hope’s head almost in the same place I did.
”That newborn baby smell. I thought people were crazy to talk about how it’s the most wonderful smell imaginable. But now, I get it.”
I took in another whiff and hummed in approval.
”I think you’re right.”
She had a brief moment where she looked lost, but quickly covered it up with a smile.
”I’ll just go, so you can have some alone time with her.”
She turned to leave, but I reached out my left hand, grabbing her wrist.
”Don’t go. Stay. She’s yours too. You have every right to be here.”
Her eyes widened slightly as she turned toward me again, looking down at Hope with almost sad eyes.
”No, I don’t want to hear any argument that she’s not yours biologically. I know that.”
She looked confused. I knew she wouldn’t say the words, so I decided to do it for her. She needed to hear it.
Maybe so did I.
”Natasha, do you love me?”
She rolled her eyes.
”Of course I do. You know I do. What does that have to do with being her mother. You know..you know I can’t have..”
”Have any, yes, I know. But I also know that I love you with everything I am. You’re it for me Natalia. I want you to be her mother. I wouldn’t have it any other way. She doesn’t have anyone but us. Plus, I know for a fact that you already love her, so don’t deny it.”
I could have swore I saw tears in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away.
With a voice so low that I could barely hear her, she spoke.
My eyes widened as I looked up at the love of my life.
“Alright? Is that a yes to being the mother of my child?”
I gave her a smile that felt as if I were literally giving off light.
She twisted her hand where it was holding her wrist and laced her fingers with mine.
”Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll be her mother. Though, you may regret the decision.”
I brought her hand to rest on our daughter’s back, my cold metal one on top of hers.
Later, after Natasha got to hold her again, we made our way back to our quarters.
She leaned in and kissed me gently before turning to head to her own. But I just couldn’t let her go. Not tonight. Maybe not ever again.
I pulled her closer and cupped her cheek, skimming my metal thumb over her bottom lip.
”My sweet, beautiful Natalia; come home with me.”
I could see the challenge in her eyes, the way they sparkled.
We’ve both been dancing around this subject for months now. Since our relationship became public knowledge.
”No Darlin, not for just tonight.”
She ran her hands up my sides and then onto my back. I could feel the slight hint of her fingernails as they scraped lightly along my low back.
”The weekend then?”
I smirked and tilted her chin up to taste her lips properly. She moaned lowly as I slowly plundered her mouth.
Pulling back, I could see that delicious pink dusting across her cheeks. The pink that always shows up when she’s turned on.
”No Baby, not the weekend either. I want you in my arms, every single night, for the rest of my life. I want you to move in with me.”
She smiled and I could see myself looking into those beautiful eyes forever.
”I thought you’d never ask.”
I rolled my eyes at her. Is she serious?!
”Baby, I’ve asked you a thousand times to move in with me.”
She gave me one of her devious smirks and pulled away from my embrace, only to start guiding me down the hallway toward my, I mean our, quarters.
”You haven’t asked me today. Well, technically you didn’t ask, you told me to move in with you. Which have I told you how hot it makes me when you go all caveman?”
I arched an eyebrow at her, loving the direction of this conversation. With luck, I’ll not only have her move in with me, but also get a blissed out night of fucking my girlfriend raw.
”Really? You like that huh? You like when I get all bossy? You want me to tell you what to do?”
We made it to my door and I couldn’t get in fast enough.
God I wanted her! My cock was already at full mast the moment her nails scraped my back.
I pushed her against the wall by the door, and not too gently either.
She’d flipped a switch inside me and she damn well knew it. I could see the knowing smile on her face.
It’s always been like this. She has always known what buttons to push to bring me close to the edge in a heartbeat.
And here I was, playing right into her hand.
I couldn’t care less. I had her. She can push every button she wants, as long as I’m the one who gets to fuck her, every damn night.
”I love it. Come on James, tell me what you want.”
Fuck this woman is perfect!
She wants to be ordered around? Well by God, I’ll be more than happy to oblige.
A deep growl leaves my throat.
Through clenched teeth, I order her.
”On your knees.”
My hands released her and planted on the wall and she bit her lip and did just that. Slid to the floor before me. My clothed, hard cock right in front of her face.
She licked her lips.
”Take them off.”
With a seductive look that nearly made me whimper with want, she turned her attention toward my jeans and belt.
I had to concentrate and try not to grab her forcefully, rip her clothes off and fuck her senseless.
She tugged my jeans and boxers down my legs, her nails scratching the back of my thighs.
I growl at her and she laughs under her breath.
The little minx! She knows what she’s doing to me.
Once my pants hit the floor, she looked up at me with almost innocent eyes, waiting on her next command.
”What do you want me to do now Soldier?”
”You know what I fucking want.”
She looked longingly at my hard cock that was mere inches from the heaven that is her mouth. It twitched in anticipation.
”I want you to say it. Tell me.”
She gave me a heated look that went straight to my dick.
I nearly choked on my tongue.
God fucking damn I love her!
I grabbed a handful of her red silky hair and tilted her head back, making her gasp. Her lips parting.
”Suck my cock Natalia. Swallow my fucking cock until I cum so hard that I can’t see straight.”
I never even gave her a chance to respond to me.
I shoved my cock past her red painted lips and moaned like a whore as she swallowed me down.
No one, and I mean NO ONE can possibly suck dick like she does.
She sucks like she does everything, with perfection and skill that makes everyone’s head spin.
I slammed my metal hand into the wall and heard the plaster crack as she rolled her tongue expertly along the underside of my member.
I literally lost my damn mind.
I was desperate to cum.
My grip tightened to painful levels in her hair as I thrust harder into her mouth and throat. All the while she moaned and hummed, enjoying it nearly as much as I was.
I knew I wouldn’t last long. But that’s ok. I knew I’d be ready to fuck her within another minute.
God bless the fucking serum!
Her hands roamed my naked ass, palming me, pulling me harder, making me slide even further in her throat.
I was panting and sweating. Very nearly close to the edge.
She knew it too.
She always does.
Her nails suddenly dig into the flesh of my ass and I was done holding back.
With a loud shout and a few curse words, I came hard down my lover’s throat.
She swallowed me down and drank everything I gave her, relishing that she caused me to be this way.
She definitely had the look of the cat that caught the canary.
My softening cock slipped from her lips. Lipstick stained the short hairs around the base of my cock, proving how deep she truly had me.
She swiped at some saliva with her tongue that was on her lips, or at least I thought it was saliva, and I nearly wanted to shove my cock in for another go.
Jesus Christ she’s amazing!
I knew this wouldn’t last long, her allowing me to order her around, but I was definitely taking advantage of the situation.
I ordered her on all fours as I ate her out, making her scream my name in Russian. Right before I fucked her hard, making her cum three times before I came again. This time inside her wet cunt.
I was delirious with lust and love for this amazing woman I loved more than anything.
The woman who will be the mother of my child.
The woman I plan to spend the rest of my life with. And God willing, one day, she’ll let me marry her.
Bright lights flashed in my eyes and everything hurt. I felt as if my bones were being ripped from my body. My eyes felt like they were burning and filled with sand.
Tears poured from my eyes along with hot blood, soaking my hair. The coppery smell making me feel sick to my stomach. Bile rising to the back of my throat.
Their laughter rang in my ears. They loved to see me in pain. The twisted smiles on their faces were distorted, almost evil.
Multiple hands held me down on a cold, hard surface of an exam table, straps placed everywhere to keep me in place.
I looked up through my tears and saw a giant needle coming straight toward me! The needle had to be the length of my hand!
I twisted and turned, kicking with all my might to get away. Screams erupted from me, begging for help.
Begging for them to stop!
”No! No! Stop! Please, stop! Don’t hurt me! Please!! Help, please, someone help me!”
I suddenly felt large hands holding me down, grabbing at my hands. Someone was shouting my name.
My eyes flew open and the person holding me screamed out in pain.
Objects were floating around the room, some on fire. Thick smoke filled the room, making me cough.
I’m in my bedroom.
I sat up quickly, my body soaked with sweat. The bed below me as well.
The moment I sat up, everything floating fell to the ground in a loud crash, including the bed that had been floating as well.
I looked on in horror at the carnage I caused around me.
Steve’s head slowly rose up from the floor at the foot of the bed. He was coughing from the smoke.
He sounded in pain.
That’s when I saw his burns.
He was covered in horrible burns. His hair was burnt off on one side of his face. His beard as well. How once perfect skin was black and charred.
He coughed and collapsed at my feet, life draining from his eyes.
”Phoenix! Phoenix! Wake up! Wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”
My eyes popped open and I was still screaming.
I was pulled to Steve’s chest as he shushed me and held me close.
“Everything’s alright. You’re ok. I’m right here. Shhhh.”
It took me a moment to realize the whole thing was a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare!
I cried hysterically, clinging to Steve. Thankful that I really didn’t hurt him. At least I think I didn’t.
In a panic, I pulled back and looked quickly around the room. Nothing was out of place.
I was still soaking wet with sweat, but thankfully nothing in my dream actually happened.
I grabbed at Steve’s arms and combed my fingers through his hair and beard. I needed to make sure he was ok as well.
I was mumbling to myself through my tears. But he definitely understood what I was saying, even though I didn’t.
”I’m OK, you didn’t hurt me. See, no burns. You didn’t burn me. Everything is alright. It was all just a dream.”
Finally, I was convinced he was unharmed. I was so relieved, that I just cried even more, hugging him tight, afraid I’d lose him any second.
It felt like forever, but eventually I calmed down enough to speak clearly.
”It was so real. Hydra had me. They were going to give me something to make me forget you. Forget everything. I was in so much pain. It hurt so bad. But then, in my dream I woke up and I had everything in the room levitating and on fire. I hurt you. I hurt you bad. If I ever...I’d never forgive myself. Never!”
He rolled me over onto my back as he hovered over me. The weight of him against me was soothing. Knowing he was alive and well.
He had such compassion in his eyes, like he knew exactly how I was feeling. Perhaps he did. He told me once how he use to have horrible nightmares after the war. Even after New York.
”You won’t hurt me. I know you won’t. Let me help you forget the dream.”
I trembled as he lowered his head and gently kissed my lips.
The longer he kissed me, the more relaxed my body became.
I sighed and combed my hands through his hair, needing the reassurance he was ok.
I gasped as his thumb rolled across my hard nipple that was hidden behind his T-shirt I wore to sleep in.
He took the opportunity and deepened the kiss, pressing into me, letting me feel how hard he was becoming.
I needed him, like air to breathe.
I wanted him to make me forget that the dream ever happened. Forget what he looked like laying dead at my feet.
My body shuddered at just the thought.
He pulled back slightly and looked down at me. He could see the struggle on my face. The images still messing with my mind.
”I’m ok. Look at me. Focus on me. Focus on how I make you feel. Let me help you forget.”
I trembled beneath his hands as he sat up and pulled his T-shirt off of me, leaving me naked.
He took a few moments to just look down at me. Eyes roaming over my figure. His look became hungry.
The room wasn’t on fire. Instead, the fire burned brightly in his eyes. The look scorched me to my very soul. My own fire brewing in the pit of my stomach. The sparks of desire slowly making the memory of my dream fizzle out.
He went to sleep in the nude, so he was already naked and ready for me. His cock, hard and thick, throbbed and jutted out straight from his body.
He reached out for me and I met him halfway.
I found myself planted on his lap, my legs straddling his own as he sat back on his heels.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as I kissed him with all the passion I could muster. His large hands cupping my ass, pulled me up to position himself right at my entrance.
Slowly, oh so slowly, he lowered me down onto his cock. The stretch was deliriously good. So damn good.
I never even moved a muscle, he used his strength to slowly pull me up and down his length.
I was so wet, that I could feel my arousal dripping down my thighs and onto his.
He kept the pace slow, almost torturously so. But it was still so very good. The pleasure center of my brain was going crazy with sensation.
He was panting and groaning into my neck, leaving sloppy kisses as he made his way back to my lips.
I cradled his head to my bosom, overwhelmed with the feelings he was evoking inside me.
It was intense.
I began to tremble in his hands. My orgasm was quickly approaching and I couldn’t stop it.
Once it hit, it slammed into me with the force of a steam engine. Lights exploding behind my eyes, my body spasmed around his and he held me tight to his chest.
Moments after I came, Steve let out a loud groan, spilling his seed deep inside me, filling me up to the brim.
Tears slid down my cheeks, but this time out of pure love.
I suddenly felt overcome with emotions.
A tidal wave of feelings washed over me one after another.
I felt like I was drowning.
I clung to Steve like my life depended on it.
Everything seemed to hit me all at once.
Intense relief, that not only was I rescued and didn’t die, but also that I didn’t hurt Steve.
I felt deliriously happy and extremely sad all at the same time. It was so hard to explain, let alone comprehend.
All while I had my meltdown and cried uncontrollably, Steve held me close and rubbed my back, kissing my shoulder and neck.
He never tried to get me to stop. He just held on. Letting me ride the waves so I could resurface on the other side of it.
I’ve almost felt numb these last several days, refusing to deal with everything that happened to me. That was still happening to me.
I still haven’t been able to use my powers. Not since that sicko doctor injected me with a so called suppressant.
Bruce thinks it will only be temporary, but it doesn’t stop me from fearing that I’ll never feel normal again.
Well, normal for me anyway.
Without my gifts, I feel vulnerable and weak. Making me wonder if at any moment I’ll be attacked and have no real way to defend myself.
Plus on top of everything else, I’m finally able to show Steve how I feel and even better, he feels the same way.
It seemed like forever before I began to calm down.
During my little break down, Steve had laid us down and covered us both with the soft, warm comforter on my bed.
He had me tucked under his chin, both arms circling me, soothing me.
When all was said and done, I felt wrung out and exhausted.
Hell, I’m still technically recovering from my whole ordeal, and then spent the past eight hours fucking like the energizer bunny.
Quiet surrounded us for quite some time before the silence was broken by Steve.
He pulled back slightly and gently kissed my forehead.
”Feel better? Is there anything you need?”
God he just so damn amazing.
”Yeah, I think I actually do feel better. Tired, exhausted even, but definitely more clear headed. I guess I just needed to get it all out. As for anything I need? All I need is you.”
I could feel his smile as he kissed my temple, adjusting me more to lay my head on his chest, snuggling deeper into the soft mattress.
”You’re all I need too. I love you.”
I turned my face into his chest and placed a kiss directly onto his tattoo.
”I love you more.”
We slept for quite some time. Both of us wrung out from all we’ve been through.
The next morning, I was woke up to Steve’s lips sucking my clit into his mouth.
That was definitely the best part of waking up.
Sorry Folgers, you’ve been beat by a Rogers.
Sunlight peeking through my binds, woke me up, let me know it was daytime. Steve and I didn’t fall asleep until probably 3-4 am.
I felt cold, goosebumps prickling my skin and making me shiver. Scooting my butt back to try and find the furnace that is my boyfriend.
I giggle at the thought of getting to call Steve my boyfriend.
My giggles stopped abruptly when my ass only made contact with cold sheets. I rolled over and saw his side of the bed empty.
I sat straight up in bed almost panicked. Thinking maybe he’d left me while I was sleeping.
Did he change his mind? Maybe he thinks I’m just too much drama to deal with.
My worries were quickly squashed to bits when I smelled cooking bacon.
I took a long whiff and hummed in enjoyment. I could smell coffee too, eggs, toast? Is he cooking breakfast?
I pulled back the covers and reached down, picking up his T-shirt off the floor from where it landed last night. It just became a nuisance, so I left it off.
I blushed at the memory of Steve with one hand cupping my breast as we slept. It was so very hot and sweet all at once. More than one occasion, sex soon followed a single brush of his thumb across my nipple.
Speaking of sweet. I can’t believe he’s actually cooking for me.
Padding barefoot through my quarters, I peered around the corner to the kitchen and my breath caught in my throat.
Steve was indeed cooking breakfast. Practically naked!
He was only in a pair of dark blue boxers. No socks, no shoes, no shirt and sex hair on point.
I stood there and just took the sight of him in.
God damn he’s gorgeous!
He reaches over to pick up a cup of coffee, lifting it to his lips for a sip. I could feel myself getting wet as I watched every single muscle used in that small action bulge.
Damn Daddy thick!
I pressed a fist to my mouth to stop the giggle threatening to spill out. I wasn’t even sure where that thought came from.
We didn’t do anything Daddy kink related last night, but damn, if seeing him like this makes me want to beg on my knees and plead with him to make me his good girl.
Fuck that's hot!
Hell, I don’t even know if he’d be into that kinda thing. I know I definitely wasn’t five minutes ago.
I chewed my bottom lip as my eyes trailed down his hard body, lusting over ever muscle and curve he had.
Jesus that ass! Those thighs! Fuck, his back alone makes me weak in the knees.
I rubbed my thighs together to try and alleviate the ache starting to grow in my pussy.
He set down the tongs he was using to flip the bacon and yawned, stretching his arms over his head in the process.
If he’s Daddy, then forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
A dirty thought entered my mind and a grin crept onto my face.
I slipped my hand underneath the T-shirt and drug my fingers through my wet folds, circling my clit slowly, savoring the slow build.
Well, slowish. I literally went from, ‘Aww so sweet’ to ‘Hot Damn’ in two seconds flat.
My bottom lip was almost sore from how hard I was trying to suppress my moans. But I wanted to remain unseen for just a while longer.
I never got the chance to see him like this before. Relaxed and unburdened, seemingly carefree.
Even the way he scratched his beard and yawned again, turned me on even more.
I imagined myself licking every peak and valley his muscles create, nibbling his Adonis belt that peaked out of his boxers that lay low on his hips.
My fingers twitched as I remembered how he felt beneath me, over me. Strong and solid as steel, yet soft and supple, pliant to every caress.
My breathing increased, my arousal almost out of control. Nipples hard and protruding, causing small electric shocks to my system as every breath made them brush against Steve’s shirt.
I could smell him.
The shirt was saturated with his scent.
He picked back up the tongs, flipping the bacon once again. It was such a simple act, yet somehow it was one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen.
It was domestic, but it was something I never imagined would ever happen to me.
A man I love, food in my belly, a roof over my head. I even owned books. Lots and lots of books.
I had to bite my tongue as I heard him begin to hum low under his breath. A tune I didn’t recognize. His body swayed slightly.
I began to rub harder, faster, feeling the need to cum. It was almost overwhelming.
Was I really going to do this? Masterbate and cum while watching Steve cook breakfast?
What if he turns around and sees me, or hears me?
Let him hear. Let him hear how much I want him. How much I crave him. One night will never be enough to end my hunger.
I imagined myself crawling toward him and palming his cock through his boxers, begging him to let me suck him off.
I could almost feel the heaviness of it on my tongue, the salty taste of his precum. How his hands would get lost in my hair and tug slightly, making me mewl wantonly.
My legs began to shake. I felt my arousal dripping down my thighs. I knew I was so very close.
Steve pulled the bacon from the pan and set it on a plate next to him, then turned off the stove.
Opening the cabinet, he reached up and pulled out another coffee mug. He was halfway through pouring a cup of coffee, which I assume was for me, when I couldn’t take it any longer.
My eyes scrunched up tight and a loud moan flew past my lips as I came.
I rode my fingers as waves of pleasure flowed through my body.
I was so far gone that I didn’t hear the slight gasp Steve made as he spun around at the sudden noise.
Too wrapped up in the explosions going off inside my brain that I missed the sound of the coffee cup falling from his fingers and crashing to the floor, shattering on impact.
I shuddered as the last of my orgasm began to settle down, leaving me feeling breathless and shaky.
I knew I was loud. I knew he had to have heard me.
I slowly opened my eyes.
Steve was standing before me, arms stretched out and hands planted on the wall on either side of my body. Chest heaving as he looked down at me.
He looked almost feral. Yet also very amused.
His eyes were wild with lust, trained in on my hand that was still making small circles around my clit.
“What are you doing?”
He knew damn well what I was doing. I could tell by the devious look on his face.
I grinned and pulled my fingers away from my pussy. They glistened with my slick.
A sly smile danced across my lips as he watched me run my fingers together, proving how wet I am.
”I think you know what I’m doing. Or I should say, just did. And it was oh so good.”
He inhaled sharply as I suddenly pressed the tips of my fingers against his bottom lip. He immediately groaned and opened up to me, allowing my fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking them clean.
I immediately needed to cum again, desperately. I needed him inside me.
Pulling my fingers from his mouth, I stroked the wet digits down his chin and throat, creating a wet trail that my eyes followed.
By the time I got to just below his navel, he let out a low growl and snatched my hand in his, pulling it up and over my head. He grabbed the other hand and locked them both in place.
” Masterbating while I slave over a hot stove. What ever will I do with you?”
Oh, I had a few ideas. Some very dirty, dirty ideas.
”It’s all your fault ya know. Standing there in nothing but boxers and looking like a whole damn snack. Domesticity looks good on you. Veeeery good.”
I lewdly looked him up and down, licking my lips.
He was tenting his boxers, nearly spilling out of them.
“Me cooking turns you on huh? Or is it just cooking in general? I didn’t realize you were so naughty. Anything else I need to know about, that may come in handy later? Maybe folding laundry? Or mopping, does that make you all wet?”
Oh Baby, you have no idea.
“I don’t know, maybe you should let me watch you clean my floors and do my laundry to find out. But, definitely do it either naked or in just your boxers. I’m leaning toward naked.”
He licked his lips, watching my breasts rise and fall with every breath.
”Some other time maybe. Right now, I’m trying to figure out what to do with such a dirty girl.”
Oh God yes, here it is! My perfect opportunity.
”Maybe you should punish me...Sir.”
Oh fuck yes! His look intensified with such burning lust, that I was sure to spontaneously combust from it alone.
”Punish you? Is that what you want? You want me to spank you Baby Girl? Take you over my knee and redden that beautiful behind of yours.”
Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!! Literally gushing right now.
I gasped and let out a squeal as he suddenly yanked me from the wall. I found myself pressed into the kitchen island, bent over.
My hands were still bound together, but now behind my back. It made me nervous. It reminded me of being tied up with Hydra.
He sensed my unease and immediately released my hands, bringing them up by my head, stroking the skin lightly where he’d grabbed me.
“Are you ok?”
”Yes, please, Steve, don’t stop.”
He roamed his hands down my arms and onto my sides, leaving me feeling like I was scorched in its wake.
He finally pushed up his tshirt, throwing it up onto my back, exposing my naked ass. He groaned and palmed the fleshy globes, spreading them to see just how wet I am.
The low ‘Fuck!’ I heard was confirmation that he definitely enjoyed what he was seeing.
”Baby, this is not going to be slow or gentle. Far from it. The moment I saw you, heard you..Dammit, you have no idea, NO IDEA how much I need to fuck you.”
I peered over my shoulder at him.
”Then do it. Fuck me Daddy!”
I was playing a wild card that I had no idea how he’d react.
Well, he didn’t act disgusted, I can tell you that.
In fact, his grip on my ass tightened and I could have sworn I felt his dick twitch in his boxers. He had been slowly rocking into me since positioning me this way.
He released my ass with one hand and quickly reached into the slit of his boxers and pulled out his hard and aching cock.
It was an angry red, a true testament to how turned on this was making him. Well, he isn’t the only one.
Returning his grip to my ass, he spread my cheeks and lined himself up with my entrance. I was practically vibrating with anticipation.
I expected him to thrust hard into me, but instead he groaned and bit his bottom lip as he watched himself disappear.
Slowly, in and out, he was practically drooling as he watched the way his cock glistened with my slick.
There was a moment, I saw it in his eyes, as his mood suddenly changed. His eyes became almost black as coal from his arousal.
He suddenly thrust hard into me, making me gasp and cling to the kitchen island. It nearly stole my breath right out of my lungs.
I heard him chuckle darkly behind me, thumbs drawing circles on my ass cheeks.
”Is that what you want Baby Girl? Or, maybe this?”
I cried out as he thrust even harder into me after pulling almost completely out of me.
“God! Yes, Daddy, yes!”
Ok, even that sounded weird to my ears, but hey, I’m rolling with it. He seems to enjoy it.
Might never do it again, because it did seem a bit odd considering the circumstances.
”Oh, wait, you wanted me to punish you. Isn’t that right? Maybe you want this instead.”
A loud smack echoed around the kitchen.
I squealed at the burn it caused on my right ass cheek. Yet all at once, it made me quiver with need even more than before.
”Oh fuck, yes! Please, do it agai...ah!!!”
Several more slaps rang out, punctuated by him thrusting hard into me with each one.
God help me, I’m gonna cum again!
His grip went to my hips and began to pound me mercilessly from behind. His hips slapping into my ass was almost as loud as the actual spanking.
He was hitting me so deep and so hard that I saw stars. Every nerve in my body was ignited, making everything sensitive. Even the T-shirt felt erotic against my skin.
I was going to cum and hard, I could tell from the way I began to flutter around his member. Tears prickled my eyes from the intensity.
”Oh god! Daddy! I’m cuming Daddy! I’m cuming!!”
He growled and his thrusts started to lose its rhythm.
”Cum inside! God yes! Please cum inside!”
We both came.
Right smack in the middle of my orgasm, and Steve’s too for that matter, my door opening got my attention.
My dad came walking in, Natasha right behind him.
”Bucky! Don’t go in there! Wai...ah hell!”
Steve and I both froze as my Dad stood there in my doorway, eyes wide, mouth hung open in shock.
Steve quickly pulled his cock out of me and shoved himself back into his boxers. He looked mortified at being caught, literally with his dick in my honey pot.
”Steve?! What the hell man?”
He looked ready to murder Steve with his bare hands.
His fists clenched at his sides and his nostrils flared with anger.
”Bucky. Bucky! James! For Pete’s sake, let’s go. We’ll come back later when they aren’t..uh, busy.”
Natasha gave me a look of sympathy, trying to pull my Dad from the room.
Good thing I was on one side of the island and he on the other. That way he couldn’t see Steve’s cum dripping down my thighs and onto the kitchen floor.
Steve held up his hands in defense, backing away slowly.
”Bucky, just calm down Pal..just..”
”Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down! I gave you permission to love my daughter, not fuck her! Jesus Christ! Were you here all night?!”
I cringed and looked back at Steve. He had panic in his eyes.
Then a thought struck me.
”Wait, Dad, why did you even come into my quarters without knocking first? That’s an invasion of privacy!”
He glared at me.
”I did knock, twice! You said you were coming. Then you told me to come inside. Why the hell would you want me to see this?!”
Everyone in the room froze, including my Dad. I cringed as I realized what he’d heard.
”Wait, did you...No! You didn’t! Did you? Oh fuck you did. You were calling him Daddy?! Steve? What the hell asshole?! Then you, then you ca...oh God! That’s it! I’ve had enough!”
He turned and walked out of the room. Stormed out was more like it.
Natasha rolled her eyes and shouted after him.
”Now where are you going?”
I gasped as he answered her.
”The armory! I need my fucking gun!”
OH shit! Shit! Shit!
Natasha looked around me at Steve who still looked shell shocked.
”Steve, if I were you, I’d quickly put some clothes on and perhaps go find your shield. Or, you know, leave the country. That’s another option.”
Steve looked stricken.
”Look, I’ll go try to calm him down. But a word of advice; from now on, lock your door. Oh, and Phoenix, if I can smell Steve’s cum from here, I know for a fact your Dad smelled it. I’d get cleaned up before he gets back.”
She wiggled her fingers at us both both in a goodbye and laughed, shutting the door behind her.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
Steve ran back to the bedroom and began to throw on his clothes, almost tripping over his pants as he pulled them on.
”Shit! Bucky’s gonna kill me!”
Probably. Not like I’d let him though.
This was all my fault.
”Uh, Steve, I know it was fun and all, but I think we need to never do the whole Daddy kink thing again. Considering.”
He gave me a look that almost screamed ‘No Shit Sherlock!’.
”Go clean up, I’m gonna try to go talk to Bucky and apologize. Shit he really is going to try and kill me. I just know it!”
He slipped on his shoes and went to me, kissing my forehead gently.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure everything will be ok.”
As he opened my door to run out, I yelled at him.
”Don’t forget your Shield!”
“Oh trust me, I’m not. It’s my first stop before finding Bucky. Wish me luck.”
My door clicked shut behind him.
I groaned and looked down at myself and the mess Steve made of me.
Good Lord! We fucked practically all night and he can still fill me up this much all over again?! Wow! The man has an endless supply of spunk.
With a deep sigh and groan, I went and did a quick yet thorough clean up job and threw on a pair of leggings. I kept Steve’s shirt on.
What can I say, I like to play with fire sometimes.
Besides, Dad’s just gonna have to get use to the idea that Steve and I fuck. We make love. We’re in love.
He can’t just kill my boyfriend just because he didn’t want to see me getting railed against a counter from behind.
I cringed as I remembered what my Dad overheard. God Bless! I’m never EVER doing that again.
Well, at least without the door locked that is.
I opened my door and headed out to look for the others.
”Friday, where’s my Dad and Steve?”
’Your Father and Steve are in the gym. It appears they’ve gathered quite the crowd.’
What the hell?! What in the world are they doing there?
”What are they doing?”
’According to my observation, your Father is insisting on, as he put it, kicking Steve’s ass into next week. To which Steve has agreed. I’m happy to report that Ms. Romanoff prevented any blood shed, for now, by having me change the access codes to the Armory. I’m afraid it angered your father even more. On another note, Tony has asked that guests please bring their own drinks and popcorn to the show, and that seating is limited so first come, first serve. It’s becoming quite the spectacle.’
I went from a quick walk to an all out run.
Oh boy....this can’t be good!
I ran as quickly as I could to the gym, nowhere prepared for what I saw as I entered.
The place was packed! I’ve never seen half the people that were circled around the main sparring ring in the center of the gymnasium.
Jesus! What did Stark do? Broadcast it all over the damn Compound?! Send out fliers or hire a blimp?!
What am I talking about, of course he would, it’s Stark.
I heard the tell-tell signs of a fight coming from the middle of the crowd. I knew who it was. And personally, it pissed me off to no end!
I began to push my way through the crowd to get to my Dad and Steve. Hopefully before they kill each other. Or more specifically, my Dad kill Steve.
”Come on people! Move your asses! Move!!”
Finally pushing through the shouting and cheering group of bystanders, I saw my targets.
Steve held his Shield in front of him, trying to keep away from my Dad as much as possible. He already had a cut to his eyebrow and blood trickling down his temple.
Dad on the other hand, looked pissed and was practically foaming at the mouth. Fists up and ready for a fight.
He lunged; Steve and everyone covered their ears as the clang rang out from his metal fist connecting with the Shield.
Fuck! This is serious!
Back and forth they went, fists flying and Steve defending himself the best he could, trying to not hurt Bucky if at all possible.
He even tried to plead with him to see reason.
”Come on Bucky, is this necessary? Can’t we talk about this like civilized men?”
Dad answered him with a growl and a hard left hook that Steve blocked.
My anger boiled deep inside me. It’s like a heat began inside my chest, slowly spreading out. My fists clenched and my fingers began to tingle.
I suddenly dawned on me that the crowd had started to back away from me.
For a good reason too.
Apparently, I got my powers back.
I looked down and my hands were engulfed in bright red flames.
I looked up as I heard Tony let out a loud laugh.
”Ohhh ho ho!! Ladies and gentlemen, let the real show begin.”
I gave him a crooked grin and then turned my attention back to the two fighting Neanderthals.
Men! I swear! Big ass babies the whole lot.
I watched as Dad got a good hit in, sending Steve crashing to the floor, Shield knocked out of his hands.
Dad saw his chance and grabbed Steve by the front of his shirt, lifting him slightly, left arm pulled back for a brutal punch.
Yeah, I don’t think so buddy. That’s the love of my life you’re trying to hurt.
Bucky’s metal fist swung and just when he thought he’d make contact with the perfect chiseled jaw of a wide eyed Steve, it instead found it frozen in mid air. It had stopped a mere three inches from Steve’s face.
His eyes widened as he soon discovered that not only could he not punch Steve, but that he couldn’t move his arm at all.
Both sets of eyes turned and looked at me.
I was surrounded in flames.
My eyes were pure red and glowing in anger.
“You want to fight? Why don’t you fight me?”
I released my hold on my Dad, only to lift him into the air and throw him back at least twenty feet onto his back.
With a flick of my wrist, Steve’s Shield rose up off the ground and flew with break neck speed toward my Dad’s head.
He managed to get to his feet and reached out with his left hand, grabbing the shield.
The force of the impact sent him sliding back another good ten feet. He groaned out in pain from the shockwave that went up his arm and into his shoulder.
I slowly entered the ring and faced my father.
Taking up a fighting stance, I cocked my head at him.
”Bring it old man. Let me show you what I’m capable of.”
Tony elbowed Natasha who watched along side him.
”Ha ha! Old man. You hear that Nat? Old man!”
”Yes Tony, I heard. And you’re not helping you know. This whole thing is ridiculous.”
Tony shrugged and returned his attention back to the drama unfolding.
Clint nodded toward me.
”Fifty bucks says she kicks both their asses.”
Tony seemed to think this over.
”I’ll take that bet, and raise you a hundred dollars that says she kicks Bucky’s ass only and makes him beg for forgiveness on his knees.”
”Bucky beg? Yeah, you got a deal Stark.”
I looked at Natasha and she rolled her eyes.
Yup, same girl. Same.
I returned my attention to my Dad who was slowly trying to approach me. He still held onto the shield and his other hand was up trying to get me to calm down.
”Sweetheart? Hey, let’s just calm down ok? We can talk about this.”
I began to circle him.
Steve was on his feet again, but looked amused as he kept himself back.
”Now you want to calm down? Now?! After you’ve attacked Steve as if you’re gonna kill him? He’s your best friend for fuck’s sake!”
He looked between me and Steve, a nervousness clouded his eyes.
”Yes he is. But do you really blame me? After what I walked in on? Of all things to call him while you were...when you...God! Why that?! Anything but that!”
This time it was my turn to roll my eyes.
”So it’s ok for him to love me, but not fuck me, is that it? What kind of messed up logic is going through your head? As for me calling him Daddy, (Stark and several others laughed), that’s between Steve and I. It’s none of your God damn business!”
Dad screeched in pain as I made the shield smack him in the head. Hard enough to give him a good ringing.
”Ow! Shit! What was that for?”
”To knock some sense into your thick skull! Why can’t you just be happy for me? I love him. He loves me. Me. Me Dad! Freak show, Hydra’s plaything, crazy like a loon...me! It’s more than I deserve and more than I ever thought I’d ever get to have in my life.”
Bucky looked stricken. I knew he hated how down I was on myself sometimes.
Steve approached me from behind and put a hand on my forearm.
I looked up at him and I saw how much he hated it too.
“Baby, you’re not a freak. You’re none of those things. Come on, Bucky gets the idea. Let it go.”
The fight immediately left me.
Especially when I saw that I was still covered in flames and I wasn’t burning Steve who’d touched me.
He saw the question in my eyes as the flames dispersed and my eyes returned to normal.
He cupped my cheek and stroked the flushed skin.
”See, I told you. You’d never hurt me.”
I whimpered and he pulled me gently into the warm embrace of his arms.
He hugged me and rubbed soothing circles into my back, kissing the top of my head.
”Don’t worry about me and Bucky. You don’t need anything else to make you upset. It’s been hard enough on you as it is.”
I nodded into his chest and inhaled his calming scent.
”Awww come on you guys! I got fifty bucks riding on this fight! Do something!”
I turned in Steve’s arms and looked at Clint, flipping him off.
”Go fuck yourself Clint. And pay up, I think I’ll take your fifty and Tony’s hundred while I’m at it. I didn’t kick any asses and Dad’s not begging. So pay up fuckers.”
Clint and Tony both groaned in frustration.
Tony pulled out his wallet and threw a hundred dollar bill into the center of the sparing ring.
Clint on the other hand turned and walked off, mumbling about leaving his wallet in his room.
I laughed as Tony returned his wallet to his pocket and walked off.
”Damn spoil sports.”
Once Tony left, the crowd began to disperse and leave the gym.
Before long, the only ones remaining were me and Steve, who was still hugging me from behind, Natasha and a humble looking Bucky.
He approached us both cautiously, my eyes narrowing as I stared him down. Daring him to do something stupid.
”I don’t want to fight anymore. I admit, I lost my temper, and for that, I’m sorry.”
He looked at Steve.
”I’m sorry Steve. I just saw red and I wasn’t thinking straight. You ok? No permanent damage?”
He held out the shield toward Steve. His arms let me go as he took the shield back.
”Naw, I’m good. I’m sorry too Buck. I never meant to hide my feelings from you. I should have been honest with you from the start. Maybe none of this would have ever happened.”
Natasha and I shared a look. We were both shocked at how well they were making up.
I of course had to put my two cents worth in.
”Would it make you feel any better if I promise never to call him Daddy while fucking again?”
Natasha tried to stifle a laugh. Bucky just cringed.
”Oh God, please, yes, that would help. Or, you know, at least where I can’t hear...you know what, yes, never call him that again. That would be perfect actually.”
I laughed and so did Steve.
But of course, because it’s me, I had to poke the bear.
”Ok deal. But of course that goes completely out the window if I’m pregnant.”
Steve looked stricken all over again and Bucky looked about ready to throw up.
”Oh God, I think I need to sit down.”
Steve raked a hand down his face.
I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing at their pale faces.
“You two crack me up. The look on your faces. I’m not pregnant. I’m not getting pregnant. At least anytime real soon anyway, or if at all. I mean, yeah, we didn’t use protection. But according to my medical records from Hydra, it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever conceive naturally anyway. All those experiments really did a number on me. So, no worries.”
I meant to lighten the mood, but instead I made Dad and Steve look kinda...sad.
“Baby, I, I didn’t know.”
I didn’t expect him to look so bad about the idea that I may never be able to have a baby.
It never even crossed my mind that I’d have kids. Why would I? Look what I am. How I grew up. Who would want me as a mom?
From the look on Steve’s face, he did.
Dad looked back at Natasha and took her hand in his.
I forgot, Natasha can’t have children.
“You guys have Hope now. So that’s good right? It all worked out. It will for me too. When the times right and if Steve wants kids, they don’t have to be mine. There are lots of kids out there that need homes. I’m ok with that. I mean, I have to be, right?”
Steve leaned in and kissed my temple.
”You’re absolutely right. As long as I have you, I have everything I’ll ever want or need.”
Bucky combed a nervous hand through his shoulder length hair.
”Uh, ladies, you mind if I have a word with Steve, in private?”
Natasha let go of Bucky’s hand and took mine, pulling me along with her as we crossed the room. Letting the boys have their moment.
Thankfully, even all the way across the gym, I could hear everything they were saying, as if I was standing right next to them.
Dad started first.
”Steve, I’m sorry Pal, I’ve really made an ass out of myself. If it weren’t for the fact she’s my daughter, I’d probably be buying you a beer and congratulating you on finally getting your VCard punched. But instead, I tried to pound your face into mush.”
Steve laughed and reached out gripping Dad’s shoulder.
”Don’t worry about it. I know you mean well. But Bucky, you gotta know, I love her and I’d never hurt her. I’d rather die first. She’s everything to me, but that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you in the process. It’s why I never told ya how I feel. I respect you too much. Even when I had nothing, I had you. You’re my best friend.”
Dad smiled and looked my way, so I pretended to look off somewhere else.
”She really does love you, doesn’t she? I can see it, the way she looks at you. I couldn’t settle for anything less for her. I’m glad she has you Steve. She deserves the best, and you’re the best their is. So, as much as I want to cringe and pluck my eyes out at seeing your dick inside my baby girl, I think I’m gonna be ok with you two together. Just..lock the door next time Punk. Got it?”
”You have my word.”
They shook hands.
”They kiss and make up yet? From the handshake, I assume another fight won’t be breaking out anytime soon.”
I laughed and nudged Natasha next to me.
”Yeah, they made up. I’m glad. I hate seeing them at odds with each other. Especially over me.”
She gave me a smirk.
”So, Daddy kink huh? Figured Steve would be into rank kink. Didn’t picture that kind of rank though.”
”Well, kind of a moot point now. I doubt I’ll ever get him to play like that again. He’d probably freak out, looking for Dad to pop around the corner. But rank kink, hmm, I bet he’d like that actually.”
We both actually giggled.
Natasha fucking giggled!
I love it!
“Don’t tell your Dad I told you this, but he has on occasion, gotten off on me calling him Sargent. He loves it actually. He likes to boss me around, when I let him. Gets him all hot and bothered. So really, he has no room to judge anyone on their sex lives.”
I burst out laughing and it got the boys attention. Enough to have them start walking our way.
I whispered to Natasha so they wouldn’t hear.
”I think those two are more alike then they’d like to admit. But for now, let’s keep this just between us.”
She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her side in a half hug.
“Agreed. It will be our little secret.”
I couldn’t help but feel affection toward the Black Widow. She had told me once that she’d never be my mom. She’d just be my friend. I couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, one day, she’d let me think of her as my mom.
She was in love with my Dad and going to help rise my sister. Plus, I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d like to have in that role.
She was strong and fierce, yet feminine and graceful. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted to be.
Perhaps this can be my little secret from her.
One day Natasha, one day, you’ll let me call you Mom.
Three Years Later
The room was filled with brilliant sunlight, making the slight dust in the air sparkle like small diamonds. Another curtain was flung back, letting more light in.
”There! Much better. We need natural light in here.”
I watched Natasha tie back the curtains and admire the beautiful day outside. Considering it’s been raining all week, we feared that today would be dreary.
Mother nature decided to give us a break.
She turned around and looked at me, her eyes misting up only slightly. Most people wouldn’t have even noticed a change in her demeanor. But then again, I’m not just anyone.
I know her.
But more importantly, she’s allowed me to know her. There’s probably only a handful of people that can say they do.
She pulled out her phone and grinned. Dad was against the idea at first, but soon relented about putting a GPS tracker on my baby sister. It took only one time for the little trickster to run off and give her parents a heart attack, that he practically demanded Natasha to do it.
It wasn’t anything harsh like an implant, that Tony suggested. Turned out all she needed to do was put the tracker into the diamond studs earrings she wore, that were a gift from her Uncle Steve.
Leave it to Tony to invent the world’s smallest GPS that looks just like the backs of an earring. He’s quite proud of that.
“Looks like she’s pestering your Father right now. Which means he’s probably not getting ready like he should be.”
I laughed and turned around in my seat and faced the vanity. Trying to figure out how I was going to get through this day without ruining my mascara.
“I’m sure Steve will help out. He’s so good with Hope.”
”More like she has a huge crush on him.”
We both laughed, because she’s not wrong.
Hope thinks Steve hangs the moon. She will fight Dad tooth and nail about anything and everything. But big ole Uncle Steve asks with that gentle way of his and she’s suddenly so compliant.
”I mean, she is me, technically, so can you blame her. Though, I have to say, I was never so defiant when I was small.”
I tried to not show how the thought of me when I was little hurt. No matter how hard I try, those days stay with me. They probably always will.
Natasha was kind enough to not acknowledge my moment of sadness. Instead she pulled out the large white garnet bags from behind the bathroom door and hung them in the window.
I watched as she unzipped one bag and pulled out the wedding dress inside.
I can hardly believe this day has finally come. My heart was bursting.
Ours eyes met and I couldn’t help the happy giggle that burst forth. The excitement truly getting to me.
We both got ready in peaceful silence. I think both of our emotions were just so close to the surface, we needed this time to just reflect on the day ahead.
”You look beautiful! You’re going to knock Steve’s socks off.”
”I know right?! I love this dress! And what about you, Dad’s gonna bust a nut when he sees you. He will literally lose his mind.”
We helped each other with hair and finishing touches on makeup.
We were finally done.
I crept out of the room and made my way down the corridor, towards where the guys are suppose to be getting ready.
I squeaked and jump, startled by the voice behind me.
I turned and smacked at Steve’s tux covered chest, laughing at how easily he can sneak up on me.
”Steve! Stop! You scared me half to death!”
He looked down the full length of my body and I saw the deep appreciation in his eyes as he saw me in my dress for the first time.
”Baby, you look amazing.”
I grinned and did a small circle, showing off the full thing. I loved the way his eyes darkened slightly and his breath hitched at the sight of the low back that ended right above my ass.
His large hands gripped my hips from behind and pulled me flush to his chest. Warm lips skimmed the back of my exposed neck and I could feel his low growl vibrating into me.
He definitely liked the dress. A lot!
”I’m so glad you like it. I was afraid it was a bit much.”
He nibbled at my ear, making me shiver.
”Oh I definitely like it. More than like it, I love it. I’m going to love it even more when I peel you out of it after the ceremony.”
I giggle as he hits a sensitive spot below my ear.
“Hey you two, save that for later.”
Steve pulled back and lifted his hands off of me and into the air slightly.
”I’m behaving myself, I promise.”
Dad rolled his eyes and adjusted Hope on his hip who was struggling to get down.
”Look at you Dad! You look dashing. The squirming three year old definitely pulls the whole ensemble together I have to say.”
He rolled his eyes.
”Har har smartass. Speaking of your sister. Have you seen Clint? He promised to keep an eye on her while we finished getting ready.”
I shook my head and pointed off toward the main hallway of the church we were in.
”Nope, can’t say I have. Though you may try the sanctuary. I think I remember him talking to Tony about setting up the cameras to catch the whole ceremony on video.”
He sighed and thanked me for the suggestion, before heading off toward the sanctuary. Hope pouted and reached for Steve.
Sigh...same girl, same.
With one last partial makeout sesh, I parted ways with Steve and made my way back to Natasha after picking up the bouquet.
Later as the music began to play and the guests had all arrived, I found myself getting nervous and shifted from one foot to the other outside the double sanctuary doors.
I fidgeted with my dress and tried to take deep soothing and calming breaths.
”You look nervous.”
I looked up at Steve who looked as calm as a cucumber. Despite how he looked the last time he wore this nice of a suit.
”Is it that obvious?”
”A little, but I think it’s cute.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course he’d think my nervousness is cute.
The music changed, indicating it was time to get this show on the road.
Steve hooked my hand onto his arm and gave me a loving smile.
”As ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this.”
The doors opened and I swallowed nervously as Steve led me down the isle. Smiles from all the guests made me stand just a bit taller.
It helped that I could almost feel Steve’s confidence and strength seeping into me, helping me calm down.
When we got to the end of the isle, I moved to my spot and looked up at my Dad. He looked amazing. And so fucking nervous.
I wanted to say something to him, but the moment my mouth opened, I turned to see Hope walking down the isle, throwing rose petals along the isle.
Literally throwing them. Some of the guests were pelted right in the face.
People laughed hard, especially when she made it to the front of the alter and dumped the remainder of her petals out into one pile. Apparently she wasn’t happy that she had some left over.
I reached down and grabbed her hand gently and pulled her over to the side and Clint took her from me, having her sit with him, his wife and their three kids.
The music changed and I looked up. Natasha, being the independent woman that she is, came walking down the isle in the most amazing wedding dress I’ve ever seen.
I personally think it’s even prettier than mine was last year when Steve and I got married.
I looked at my Dad and my eyes misted up. His eyes were wide from awe. A tear trickled down his cheek and his metal hand covered his chest as if he could hold in all that love from bursting out of him.
My eyes caught Steve’s, where he stood beside my dad, and it’s like it was our wedding day all over again. My love for him obvious as I gazed at the love of my life.
I couldn’t help the tears that spilled as I watched my Dad and Natasha exchange their long awaited vows.
Natasha resisted for such a long time, about getting married. She just didn’t see the point.
Until she saw Steve and I tie the knot.
There was something about that day that flipped a switch inside her. She was different after.
So different in fact, that she was the one to propose to my Dad. She even came to me and asked for my blessing. Which of course I couldn’t have been happier to give.
The ceremony was short considering. They wrote their own vows, which made me tear up even more.
Thank goodness for waterproof mascara, that’s all I can say.
The reception was a party to beat all parties. I mean it was organized my Tony Stark himself, so of course there was a full open bar, and tons of delicious food. Plus, let’s not forget the awesome music and dancing.
A slow song was playing and Steve pulled me to the dance floor, twirling me once, before tugging me close and kissing me breathless.
We swayed gently to the beat, one of his hands gently pressed to my low back and the other placed over mine that was splayed over his heart.
”You ok? You’re awful quiet since the ceremony. Well, technically since you woke up this morning.”
I smiled and looked up at my husband, wondering when would be a good time to tell him what was on my mind.
”I’m perfect actually. How could I not be? I’m married to you. I gained a Mom today. What more could I possibly want or need in my life?”
He tilted his head as he looked down at me, knowing something was off.
I caught a glimpse of Natasha as she was dancing with my Dad. She winked at me. Which of course confused my Dad. She just smiled and pat his cheek gently, whispering into his ear.
His face literally exploded in happiness and he looked over at me, eyes wide.
I halfway turned Steve away from them since he was about to look their way to see what was going on. Especially since Dad let out a whoop of excitement.
”What’s going on? Now I know something’s up.”
”Oh, nothing much. It’s just been a very exciting day. You know, the whole wedding and all. I got a new Mom. I’m going to be a mom now, so ya know, exciting stuff.”
He nodded in understanding, obviously missing what I actually said for a few moments.
Then we suddenly stopped dancing. I looked up at him and his face looked stunned and a bit confused.
”Wait, what did you say?”
I smiled bashfully and bit my bottom lip as I saw so many emotions cross his face as he waited for me to clarify.
”What did you think I said?”
He smiled just a bit bigger and his hold tightened slightly where his hands had settled on my hips.
”I mean, it sounded like you said you’re going to be a mom. But that would mean..I mean, wouldn’t that mean what I think it means?”
I could feel his hands shaking slightly as they left my hips and cupped my face gently.
”If you mean that I’m pregnant, then you would be correct.”
His eyes widened and he let out a laugh before pulling me in for a lip crushing kiss.
When we finally parted, the whole room had erupted into applause.
Dad came up to us and smacked Steve on the back.
”I hear congratulations are in order. I’m happy for you Pal. I mean that. But your still not calling me dad.”
They hugged as Natasha pulled me close and hugged me as well.
”I’m glad you didn’t chicken out again in telling him. I told you he’d be ecstatic.”
She’s right of course. I’ve known about being pregnant for over a week. But being busy with the wedding had made me stay quiet. Plus I was indeed nervous about how Steve would react.
We have dangerous lives, I know there are risks. But it’s not like I tried to get pregnant. Hell, I assumed I couldn’t get pregnant. Steve and I have been having sex quite often for the past three years, no protection. We just assumed it wasn’t in the cards.
We were wrong. So very very wrong.
Friends made their rounds, congratulating Natasha and Dad and Steve and I as well.
I actually told Natasha that I wanted to wait till she and Dad were off on their honeymoon, before I spilled the baby news. I didn’t want to take anything away from their big day.
Natasha was having none of it. She was the one who had insisted that I was pregnant in the first place.
She bought me the test and even held my hand as we read the results.
I was in shock. I think we both were.
I cried and she cried with me. It was so unexpected. I was so resolved to never have my own children, that being pregnant just never crossed my mind.
I guess fate had other plans.
I told her I wanted to wait to tell Steve. She gave me a look that I hadn’t seen before. Well, at least toward me anyway. It was a mix of frustration and resignation.
She said the one thing that made me change my mind.
”Phoenix, nothing you say will ruin our day. But I’ll make a deal with you. Wait till after the ceremony. Then tell him. At the reception. If you do, well...I’ll let you call me Mom.”
I looked at her stunned! Pure shock!
Shes been resistant since day one about me calling her Mom. For the life of me, I just couldn’t figure out why. I guess having Hope changed all that.
“Really?! You mean it? I can call you Mom? You won’t shoot me or anything?”
She laughed at me and hugged me tight, her voice sounded strained as she spoke.
”I mean it. I’d be proud to have you call me Mom.”
She pulled me away from her with a death grip on my shoulders, glaring at me with an arched eyebrow.
”Only if you tell Steve at the reception. And don’t worry about your Dad. I’ll take care of him. Trust me, he’s going to be over the moon. Just don’t expect me to be called grandma anytime soon.”
Natasha hugged me close and I ate up every single second. A tear slipped down my cheek.
“Thank you for everything..Mom.”
I looked up and Steve and my Dad were standing silent and looking at us both.
Dad’s eyes became glassy as he watched us hug. He’s known for quite a while how much I wanted a Mom. All three of mine were dead. I just wanted that connection like most human beings have.
She pulled back and walked into her new husbands arms. He kissed her tenderly and then placed his forehead against hers.
”You are simply amazing, my beautiful and wonderful wife. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you anymore than I already do. You go and do the one thing I never thought I’d get to see.”
”You gave my daughter the mother she has always longed for. You might as well have given her the world.”
I could have sworn to you that she blushed, but then again it could just be the lighting.
”It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a name, a nickname really.”
He kissed her nose and nuzzled her ear. If it weren’t for my enhanced hearing, I wouldn’t have heard his response.
”You’re wrong. To her...to me, it’s everything.”
Later, after we saw the two newlyweds off for their two week honeymoon, Steve and I gathered up a sleepy Hope. We were watching her while Mom and Dad were gone.
I almost giggled out loud just thinking about the words Mom and Dad.
Steve picked up the sleepy child, who immediately snuggled onto him like he was a big pillow. My heart truly overflowed with so many emotions.
He was a natural with her. Just like he will be with our baby.
We took her home and settled her into bed. Steve brushed her red hair out of her eyes and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
”Night night little bird. Sleep tight.”
My heart clenched.
That was Steve’s nickname for my sister. Little Bird.
Heck even Dad says when she gets all feisty, he calls her Phoenix Jr.
What can I say, I’m a handful.
We tiptoed out of the room, though I’m not really sure why. Hope can sleep through a tornado.
The moment Steve and I made it to our bedroom, he pushed me against the wall and attacked my lips with a kiss that curled my toes.
I moaned and carded my hands into his hair, pulling him as close as possible.
By the time he pulled up for air, I was tingling all over and definitely wet. God damn! Will this man never cease to turn me on like a friggin faucet?
”God, Baby, I want you so much right now. I need to be inside you. Just the thought of you pregnant has me so damn horny!”
I moaned and arched into his hard body. Just hearing him talk this way was definitely doing it for me. Jesus he’s gotten good with dirty talk. And he knows how much I love hearing him dirty talk.
He once made me cum untouched by simply talking dirty to me over the phone, while he was away on a mission.
“Tell me Steve. Tell me how much you want me. I want to hear it.”
I squealed as he scooped me up bridal style and turned, placing me on the bed. His tuxedo clad body hovering over mine.
”My cock is so damn hard right now. It’s been hard since you told me you were pregnant. I want to peel you out of this sinful dress and worship your entire body from head to toe.”
I whined and looked down toward his crotch. He definitely wasn’t exaggerating. He was straining against his pants, a prominent bulge was definitely seen.
”I know your pregnant, but I want to fill you to overflowing with my cum. I want to mark you as mine in the most primal way possible. Then when you can’t possibly hold anymore, I’ll fuck your ass, hard, just the way you like it Baby. Then I’ll fill you up there.”
My ass literally clenched at the thought of him fucking me there. I got him to try anal right after we got married and he fucking loves it.
Well, obviously, so do I.
”But even that won’t be enough. I want you to suck my cock Baby. Suck it till it’s dripping wet with your spit, then and only then will I fuck those beautiful titties.”
I lost it!
God he knows how to turn my crank.
He did just as he said he would. He peeled me out of the body hugging dress and after making me cum three times on his tongue, he fucked me full of his baby-making juices.
He was an animal, the way he fucked and fucked and fucked. Never letting up.
I felt as if he were setting me on fire with his touch.
Here I was always worried about burning him with my flames. Instead, he sets me on fire with his tongue, hands and cock.
I begged the powers that be, that it will always be like this.
Seven months later, when our Son Riley James Rogers was born, I found myself truly feeling content with my life. Somehow having my own child gave me the peace I desperately needed from my past.
Not only did I prove to myself that I wasn’t the monster Hydra tried to make me, but I also made myself believe it. Truly believe it.
Deep down there was always this feeling of not being quite connected to the world around me. A freak. Some science experiment. Not quite human and not quite a mutant. Not belonging in either world.
Holding my son for the first time made it all sink in. He made my life finally feel complete.
Let the world burn around us, let the universe come crashing down. Let it all just pass away. It didn’t matter. Not anymore.
My world consisted of my family, the people I love. Who love me back just as fiercely.
So what if I’m not necessarily normal. Who cares. Certainly not the beautiful dark haired, blue eyed baby boy gazing up at me as he suckles at my breast. Nor the love of my life who sits by my side. Who will always be by my side.
”Steve, aren’t you glad you finally caved all those years ago and let yourself love me? Just look what we’ve created with that love.”
He leaned his head down and kissed the top of his sons head, his pride and joy.
”Very glad. I spent so much wasted time believing I’d missed my chance at this. Love, a family...happiness. And then here you come along and just prove me all wrong. I’ve never been more happy to be wrong in my whole life.”
I laughed a bit, knowing how much he actually hates being proven wrong. But I think he’s actually sincere about this though.
”Yeah, leave it to me to come along and just screw up your whole world.”
He put a finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him.
”You can screw with me any day, anytime.”
He winked before placing a heated kiss to my lips.
Once he pulled back, I couldn’t help but blush.
”Down big boy. Give me some time to heal first before you go gettin all frisky with me.”
He shrugged and ran a finger across my other exposed breast.
“There are...other things I can fuck.”
I blushed furiously. My cheeks burning brightly.
“What ever am I going to do with you Mr. Rogers?”
”I can think of a few things, Mrs. Rogers.”
Thank goodness for fast healing abilities. I have a feeling I’m gonna need it. Sooner rather than later.