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sleep deprived superheroes (and twitter aren't a good mix)

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[group chat: spider-thirst central]

[9:42am]
[mmm ass has added Peter Parker to spider-thirst central]
[mmm ass has changed Peter Parker's name to fake bf]

mmm ass: HEY WHATS UP SPIDEY FUCKERS GUESS WHO I ADDED

fake bf: oh god

hug monster: hi Peter I'm so sorry

fake bf: wait who u

hug monster: ,,,,,,,,,Ned

fake bf: im divorcing u

hug monster: u divorce me like once a week

mmm ass: ????

fake bf: everyone used to joke we were married so we started to joke that we were married. It's been going on for years

mmm ass: oh ok

[im straight is online]
im straight: fuck
[im straight has gone offline]

fake bf: who that

hug monster: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Flash

fake bf: OK WHO ELSE IS ON THIS

mmm ass: I'm Abe, obvs
mmm ass: Cindy is mmm arms
mmm ass: Charles is mmm bon Jovi
mmm ass: Sally is scared of heights
mmm ass: MJ is Shut Up
mmm ass: everyone else is just like,, ppl from school and our friends u probably don't know (the Acadec kids are the most active on here tho)

fake bf: why is mj on this??????????????????

mmm ass: good question

Shut Up: I may be a lesbian but Spider-Man is still pretty hot

fake bf: ,,,,??!?????,,???,?,?,?,?,¿?,??,?,?,,,,,,????

hug monster: are u ok did u have a stronk

fake bf: call the bondulance
fake bf: no im ok it's just been a weird day and it's not even 10am yet

mmm ass: it's kinda funny bc Flash is usually the most active on here he's more thirsty than me which is impressive

fake bf: hahjsbsjsj,snsjks,,hajsjahs,,,???¿??

mmm ass: he's """"""""straight""""""""""""

[im straight is online]
im straight: im straight but I'd still let Spidey tie me up in an alley and fuck me until I couldn't stand
[im straight has gone offline]

fake bf: jfjdsfhrrsksssjshwhhwjwjqhhqj,,,,,qjagjahsjbwhsheh3shshbs,,:hsjsnnsjs,,?????????¿?????¿‽?????????¿

hug monster: yeah basically

fake bf: rightio
fake bf: im
fake bf: im in class and I should,,, probably listen
fake bf: bye

mmm ass: lol bye then

-

stove @CaptainAmerican't
Friendly reminder that James Buchanan Barnes is really just a big softie

fridge magnet @jbbarnes
Oh FUCK YOU what did I ever do to you???

stove @CaptainAmerican't
...

fridge magnet @jbbarnes
Ah. Right. But??? They were girl scout and they said they liked my arm?????? They wanted to arm wrestle with me????????? Of course I had to buy all their damn cookies??????????? Stark can afford it I don't give a shit. They were so cute how could you not??

stove @CaptainAmerican't
There are literally cookie packets covering the entire kitchen

fridge magnet @jbbarnes
So?

stove @CaptainAmerican't
How are we going to eat them all??

fridge magnet @jbbarnes
Supersoldier metabolisms, Stevie

-

[group chat: Acadec chat]
[6:44pm]

badass boss lady: HEY LISTEN UP FUCKERS YALL BETTER BE AT THE CLIMATE MARCH TOMORROW OR UR DEAD TO ME

moon moon: yee yee I'll b there

[Sal-E is online]

Sal-E: be there or be square!!!!!1

moon moon: *turns into a literal fucking flesh cube*

ily bon jovi: wait I gotta ask my bro if he's going bc he said he was but im not sure

abebabe: I'll b there too

bean: same

[hacker voice] im in: heel yeah

[gotta go fast is online]

gotta go fast: father wouldn't allow me to go but he's on a business trip
gotta go fast: so.... yeah I'm coming

badass boss lady: Cool. Well, I'll see you guys around. We can organise to meet up at some point but that might be a bit tricky so yeah

-

[group chat: golden trio but gen z]
[7:11pm]

queen mj: hey Peter are you going as Spidey

the chosen one: uhh

queen mj: well you better because that's a great way to get more attention to this
queen mj: also Blease mention it on your twit bc you have so many followers

the chosen one: ok I will
the chosen one: I'll see if I can get Mr Stark to come too

queen mj: holy hell YES

-

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
HEY KIDS YALL BETTER BE AT THE SCHOOL STRIKE 4 CLIMATE CHANGE I JUST WATCHED A DAVID ATTENBOROUGH DOCO AND I AM READY TO GO FERAL

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
BRING THOSE SIGNS BRING THOSE MEMES BRING THOSE NO U CARDS

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
WE CANT VOTE YET BUT WE CAN MAKE OURSELVES KNOWN. WE CAN MAKE OUR OPINIONS KNOWN. WE CAN GET IN THE FACES OF THESE DUMBASS POLITICIANS AND TELL THEM THAT IF WE DONT DO SHIT NOW WE'RE SCREWED. LISTEN TO SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH. LISTEN TO GRETA THUNBURG THEYRE BOTH WOKE AF

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
ITS NOT OUR GENERATIONS FAULT. WE CAN TRY AND FIX IT BUT WE NEED THE PEOPLE IN POWER RIGHT NOW TO LISTEN TO US

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
ISLANDS COMMUNITIES ARE DROWNING. CORAL REEFS ARE DYING. RAINFORESTS ARE DRYING OUT. AUSTRALIA IS ON FIRE AND SOME PLACES ARE IN LIKE A 5+ YEAR DROUGHT. ENGLANDS SUMMERS ARE GETTING HOTTER AND HOTTER. WINTERS ARE BEING MESSED UP. JAPAN AND CHINA AND INDIA AND ALL THESE PLACES ARE GETTING FLOODS AND TYPHOONS AND SHIT. AMERICA IS GETTING FLOODS AND SNOWSTORMS AND REALLY BAD HURRICANES. THERE ARE COMMUNITIES GOING UNDERWATER EVEN HERE IN THE USA. WE'RE NOT AN EXCEPTION FROM CLIMATE CHANGE

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
so yeah screw our politicians and skip school on the 20th to come to the marches (unless ur going to area 51, in which case, I salute you my comrades, you absolute madlads) also im tryna get mr stank to come so yeeeeehaw

BLACK LIVES MATTER @MichelleJones
shit u rlly did go feral (thanks)

no.1 SI intern @peter-parkour
yeeeeehawwwwwwwww

spooder-fan @elleart
Hell yeah!! I'll be there ;)

two bros @chillinginahottub
shall b there ;)))))))))

oh no @hhhhhhatman
in England but, yep I'm going

my name is loooong @burdenedwithgloriousfandoms
aussie-land but yeet ;)

rainbowwwwww @thats gay
Fuck yes climate march

Spidey says gay rights @kazoogabriel
proof that Spider-Man is gen z part 512653

no u @urmomgae
proof that Spider-Man is still in school????? Part 26253 ????????

-

American superhero news @AvengersWatch
BREAKING: All the NY based Avengers accompany Spider-Man to climate march. Tony Stark seen talking to representatives from several groups aiming to reduce CO2 levels, rainforest clearing, waste etc
[Photo of all the avengers walking in a group amongst students and workers, chanting along with the crowd. Several hold signs.]
[Photo of Spider-Man climbing a lamp post above a sea of people, a little girl holding a megaphone clinging to his back]
[Photo of Tony Stark listening intently to a speech]

two bros @chillinginahottub
hee hee
[Shakey phone footage of Spider-Man joining in the chant of 'EAT THE RICH EAT EAT THE RICH' and laughing at Tony Stark's confused face]

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
[Video taken from high above a sea of people chanting 'THE SEAS ARE RISING NO MORE COMPROMISING']

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
[Video of Spider-Man walking amongst the avengers in the march. Tony does the peace sign at the camera. Clint does the finger. Nat slaps him. Steve and Bucky walk side by side, sharing a piece of cardboard between them that says 'I DIDNT COME OUT OF THE ICE FOR THIS SHIT'.]

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
saw some great signs
[A girl holding up a massive no u card]
[Two girls with signs that say 'The planet's on f**king fire ~ Bill Nye' and 'I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees, and the trees say fuck you']
[A teen holding a sign saying 'what if we cut down all our forests and pumped poisonous gas into the air? Jk jk... Unless' (the unless is the unless thing from the Lorax)]
[Someone holding a piece of card that says 'The earth is getting hotter than Tom Holland']
[The this is fine meme but with the dog labelled as 'our governments']
[Lots more Lorax signs]
[A piece of cardboard with the words 'climate change is McFuck'd' painted on it]
[A woman with 'can we get an F in the chat' painted on her back]
[A bunch of girls holding a sign saying 'sksksksk save the turtles']
[The meme that's Elmo with fire in the background]

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
today has been fuckin wiiiild. climate march hell yeah, people actually showing up at area 51 (spoilers Tony Stark actually partially owns it and it's full of Chitauri bodies n shit from the battle of NY bc they don't decompose normally - don't come at me he gave me his permission to say that), and new buzzfeed unsolved!!!! (Sorry guys for spoilering what's mainly in there also Ryan stop touching ur nips (please))

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
good on u to everyone who skipped school and went to the march. also high five to that Naruto runner ur educating the masses. Oh and remember: eat the rich

E @starkslut
sure ;)

totally not scott @gi-ant-man
No that's Vore

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
SCOTT WHY DO U KNOW WHAT VORE IS

totally not scott @gi-ant-man
;)))))))))))

spooder @ActuallySpider-Man
No do Not

totally not scott @gi-ant-man
;)))))))))))))))))))))

Iron Stank @TonyStark
I'm scared

COOLEST AVENGER @hawkeyeee
You should be

-

[group chat: spider-thirst central]
[11:26pm]

[im straight is online]
im straight: ok im straight but DID U SEE SPIDEYS ASS WHEN HE WAS UP ON THAT LAMP POST