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The Nectar of the Gods

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Angels and Demons have an exceedingly long memory.

But even among facts and figures, some things can become lost in myth and legend. 

The thing to remember about Ambrosia, being the “nectar (essentially, nectarine) of the Gods,” it has certain inherent properties. Now it’s not always apparent what that means when it comes to thinks like edibles.  Especially when you have only the one account, and it’s so very old at this point.  Typically, when an Angel says something, because Angels don’t lie, everyone believes them. It doesn’t portend an Angel exaggerating though, which is, in short, exactly what happened.

The account went thus.  Ambrosia cause “uncontrollable fits, limbs unable to do my bidding, wings acting of their own accord, and I don’t entirely remember what happened next, but I awoke as if from a tiring work.” 

And so, Ambrosia was deemed one of the trickiest holy fruits, and blatant “no-no” for anyone of a celestial body.


399 B.C.

Aziraphale was just back from his jaunt to Greece.  Oh, what a spirited time that was!  There were skeletons of all things, and they’d wanted to fight him!  Well, he made quick work of them.  Clued in Azrael, Angel of Death, and just let her sort it all out.  She seemed glad of the side trip, and thanked him.

Upon arriving back, having delivered the Golden Fleece to it’s appropriate Kingly Warrior, he quickly stole away to his home, where he removed three golden fruits from their hiding place and set them on his table.  He blinked in the sudden glare. This wouldn’t do, they were glowing far too brightly.  Best put them in a safer place.

Aziraphale did as much research as he could into Ambrosia, but the accounts varied so vastly.  Ambrosia was said to give the gods strength and meaning, but honestly, whenever people put it that way, it turned out to be humans who thought these things.  Gods, typically from what he could find, would simply laugh at them. Humans, all talk.

Still, there was that one account from that long long ago Angel.  So it made the fruit a bit of a tetchy subject in heaven.  Even Gabriel suggested cautious.  “Do not pluck the fruits and, for heavens sake, don’t eat any of it!” he’d warned.

His mission was to simply get the fleece and be on his way. But all Aziraphale knew was that he’d come upon a tree with these glowing fruits and, while he remembered the account, curiosity got the better of him. They looked so pretty …

Aziraphale remembered thinking Ambrosia had to be nothing like it was described.  After all, it was only a fruit!  He couldn’t help but think of his Demon counterpart, wondering what Crowley would say, as he’d extended his hands, one to grab the fleece and the other to grab Ambrosia and snapped it back to his home, quick as a flash.


389 B.C.

10 years later and Aziraphale still marveled that the fruit remained as ripe as they day he plucked it.  He’d waffled on whether or not to eat them straight away, but honestly he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to do it … unsupervised. He carefully put them back in their hiding place.


1516 A.D.

“No,” Crowley gasped. “I thought you said it was just a routine mission!”

“It was,” Aziraphale smirked, letting the drink move him a little too far forward. “And the paperwork I filed with heaven confirms that.”

“You lying liar,” Crowley said, his words slurring, but meeting his companions smile with pride.

“I popped them back home before anyone was the wiser.” His smile was infections. Aziraphale looked around and then, moving some things, produced a basket, which he handed to Crowley.

Opening the basket, he could see that whatever was under the blanket inside was positively glowing. “Have you tried one yet?” Crowley mumbled in awe. He lifted the lid, and it was like looking straight at the Sun. He thought a silent grateful prayer that he was still wearing his sunglasses.

Aziraphale squirmed a little.  “I think… I rather think I was waiting for… company.” He looked at him, almost defiantly.  “Afterall, you know what they say about,” and he cleared his throat, “Well, you know. But I thought having someone to try it with me might be… smart.  Allow me to… tempt you?”

Crowley’s eyebrows raised.  “Best not.” He said.

“But… but why not?” Aziraphale deflated somewhat.

Crowley sighed. “Well, I’m definitely unworthy of them, ain’t I? Who knows what they would do to me.”

Aziraphale frowned.  “Well, would you mind a little experiment then? What if I try it and we just… see what happens?”

Crowley’s smile was back, as he leaned the basket towards the Angel. “Well, here you are then,” and his eyes seemed to burn into Aziraphale’s soul.