Aziraphale. Aziraphael. His angel.
“Mother. What did they do wrong?”
Burning. Aching. Dizziness. A rough hand that wasn’t there long. It would be his last touch for a while.
“My Raphael, my healer.”
Bright light that would burn most mortals away but was normal for the angels. They all loved one another for they didn’t know hate yet. It was Her Morningstar that figured it out first, for he was often the most clever of them all.
“Mother what are you doing?”
He was favoured along side the other archangels, but no one knew his purpose. Raphael was a healer in a world with no hurt, no illness. He was a guardian with no one to guard. Raphael asked questions that weren’t to be spoken to anyone but Her.
“My darling Raphael, I will need you on earth. They require your touch more than Heaven, more than Hell even. Your purpose will be to heal those who need it, at your own will.”
Raphael’s questions were often hushed by the other angels, especially his closest siblings, Gabriel, Michael, and Uriel. Lucifer however, he encouraged his questions. The others warned him that his curiosity would damn him, for they questioned Her and Her great plans for Her creations. He didn’t understand.
“Mother, why must you test them to this point?”
Raphael loved his garden, cultivating the Garden of Eden to full bloom for his darling Mother. He spoke gently to the plants and encouraged them to be their best. He didn’t notice an angel, one of the Principalities, watching him with doe-like eyes. Raphael tended to his garden for now, as there was no hurt to heal just yet.
“Please. Please stop them. They’re so cruel to one another, they haven’t got an ounce of love within their bones. Please I beg of you to stop them.”
They were introduced on a beautiful day, for there were no other days in Heaven. A tall, lean angel with dark skin and beautiful red hair looked upon a shorter angel, who had slightly lighter skin and shockingly white hair.
“My Raphael, meet Aziraphael, he will be your guard, your partner, as you wait for your purpose to begin.”
It was the same angel who watched Raphael tend to his garden, Aziraphael was still enraptured by the other’s beauty. Many claimed that Lucifer, the Morningstar, was the most beautiful of them all. Aziraphael found that he couldn’t disagree more.
“She knows what’s best Raphael, don’t question Her. Our Mother loves Her creations, why would She test them to the point of destruction?”
Gentle kisses, copying what they saw a pair of lover’s do. It was nice. Lovely in fact. Raphael wanted to do it again and again, but he didn’t want to force himself on poor Aziraphael. He was already so skittish, Raphael couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Aziraphael wished he was never chosen to accompany him.
“Mother, Lucifer is planning something. Something big. Please tell me this is part of the plan. Please don’t abandon me.”
Aziraphael was falling more and more each day. Raphael’s beauty, his grace, his kindness, they made the angel fall more in love with every minute they were together. When Raphael allowed them to kiss one another, Aziraphael felt as if he were on fire. He wondered if that’s what it felt like to Fall.
“They won’t remember my dear. My sweet Raphael. Don’t fret, it won’t be permanent. Not for you. You are too alike to my other creations to fit in with them. Demons, they will call themselves. “
Raphael kissed Aziraphael and told a lie. He promised to be back shortly, we told his love that he had to check on Eve in the Garden, for it was his creation he was responsible. His Principality, his dear Aziraphael, won’t remember anything after this kiss. Now, he slithered into Eden.
“I love you.”
Burning. Aching. Dizziness. A rough hand that wasn’t there long. It would be the last touch for a while. He couldn’t go by Raphael, for there was soon an announcement that Raphael was gone, no one could sense him on Heaven or Earth. Some were brave enough to ask Hell, namely Gabriel and Michael, but their answer was the same. Raphael was lost, and in his place was a serpent named Crawley.
“Well that went down like a lead balloon.”
Crowley walked the earth with purpose, something that was hard for Raphael. Raphael had no purpose in Eden, for his purpose was always on Earth. On earth there was pestilence and death and war and famine. Soon pestilence would retire and pollution will take their place. The humans had to know of the horrors between right and wrong, good and bad, before they were gifted with one who could fix them once they battled the Horsepeople.
“Do you know if you ever met Raphael, Crowley? Every so often everyone upstairs descend upon Earth for they think they feel him walking once more. I can’t say I do, I don’t think I ever met him though, my dear.”
Crowley enjoyed his work. He enjoyed the mischief being a demon allowed him to create. It was, for the most part, harmless. It just made people’s day just a little bit worse than it would’ve been. The other demons wanted more, however. Greedy little buggers they were, they wanted Crowley to corrupt far more people. They were catching on.
“I wanted you to stop them yes, but to kill them all? Even the children? Please Mother, allow me to save them. Let me keep them safe.”
Crowley watched Aziraphale, a lovestruck expression on his face. He still loved him, his angel, though the other has long since forgotten. Crowley minds, he can’t say he doesn’t, but as long as they are side by side, he doesn’t mind as much.
“You go too fast for me Crowley.”
Gentle kisses were Aziraphale’s favourite, the ones where Crowley would gently hold his cheeks like he was the most precious thing in the world. He wasn’t sure why the feeling was so familiar, why it felt like it should’ve always been like this.
“Michael is getting antsy lately my dear, she seems to be waiting for something. Best keep our new arrangement on the down low. Perhaps we could rent that cottage down in South Downs?”
He felt the pull, the pull he hadn’t felt in years. Crowley was in charge of himself, allowed to go where he needed, where the hurt and illness ran rampant. God let him do as he needed for the most part, but now he was being called home. Is it bad that he feels that earth is more his home than Heaven?
“Aziraphael, I have something I have to tell you.”
Crowley was terrified. He was out in his garden, whispering to his plants like he hasn’t done in years. Yelling worked a lot better, he found. It was like spoiled children in a sense, they get lazy and passive if given love freely. Maybe the same could be said for angels.
“What is it dear?”
Crowley gave him a kiss like that day so long ago, holding his dear angel tightly. He knew when Aziraphale remembered, for he was pushed away to look at his lover’s clear blue eyes, eyes which hadn’t realized the world was rose coloured till the glasses were removed. Both their eyes were full of tears, as Aziraphael has figured out why his heart felt so empty for so long. He was with his darling angel, but not truly.
He hasn’t felt like Raphael for such a long time. He wasn’t sure if he truly was anymore. Crowley had been Crowley for so long, even with his appearances as Raphael. Raphael was a secret that was meant to be kept hidden. Now it was out in the open, for God called upon her Healer.
“It won’t be long before the other archangels come to get me, angel. I love you.”
They were descended upon and soon Aziraphael was taken alone with his love back up to Heaven, questioning if it was truly worth it all in the end. They were a pair, made for one another.
“My healer, Raphael. You’ve done so well.”