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i walk on the moon in the air

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It goes like this:


They are classmates.

He doesn’t tie his hair yet. Rather, it falls like a dry waterfall over his shoulders, back and often face; an eternal source of teacherly agony. The falling, not the face. He even squints often – at the whiteboard, or people – something that probably makes them think he’s rough and angry all the time, but Rei knows from experience that it’s because he can’t fucking see.

Except he, Sakuma Rei, embraces the rough boy thing, squinting to his heart’s content and his eyes’ despair, rolling his r’s with delight and even riding a motorbike. Ran Nagisa? Just wants to play in the dirt.

Like honestly. Apparently at some point Aoba had to kick him outta library because he brought something that looked like a bone and wanted to compare it to whatever was in the books. And Tomoe keeps on nagging him – haha, nagging a Nagisa, good one – to wash his hands because he could build a sandcastle out of all the dirt under his fingernails. He doesn’t seem to like anything else besides that dirt-digging. Rei doesn’t know why is he even a student here. Maybe Tomoe forced him? Shit like this happens all the time. Let’s be idols together, as friends!, and then either one or both or even more, if there’s more, of these fuckers drop out after a month because it’s ‘not what they expected’ and bitch, what were you expecting in the first place? Courses on how to strike a pose and say dumb shit to fans?

(This is not to say Rei isn’t disappointed. He is. He can, and wants, to do more. Other schools do more. Yet,)

Except this one is tough, it seems. He’s made it to second year, even though, obviously, no teacher can kick him out for ‘lacking passion’, like idol anime would love it to work. He can sing, even though his face when he does, the one of full focus, is fucking ridiculous and he’d have it rough if he wasn’t rich and pretty and if Tomoe didn’t jump at the first person who dares to say anything bad about his ass. He fucks up the choreo so much it’s impressive for the first few times, and then slowly gets to memorize it, even though he’s a bit stiff, but hey, everything can be forgiven if you have half a metre of hair and just as much of eyelashes. But the heavy shit, the unending critique and pressure that has everyone else running for their lives? Rei doesn’t think he even understands it. He looks at the teacher’s mouth, more interested in the movements of his lips than what comes out of it, and nods, and because he looks like he understands, they let him go.


“Do you like… old things?”

Rei should be doing his homework. He’s forgot, or rather: ignored the thought until he actually forgot, about it for a whole fucking week, and now he’s scribbling furiously, eyes darting between the notebook and a math app. He should be doing his homework, which is why, upon hearing this voice like angelic choirs, he happily slams his notebook close and turns.

“To be honest I kinda prefer people more around my age, y’know?”, he snickers and can’t help making a dumb face. And if it were any other person, he’d kinda worry about saying ‘people’ and not ‘girls’ like any normal dude (so apparently Hakaze, who would rather sincerely shit himself than last a minute without mentioning how he only likes to put his dick in pussy; Sena once loudly considered buying him a shirt), but this is Ran. He doesn’t think about this shit, and currently, he’s thinking, with great effort, about what to say to Rei’s reply.

“Oh”, he says in that calm but troubled voice, “No, I… I meant.”

“Yah, yah, I know, your old shit? Bones? Dead bodies?”

“Rocks...”, Ran supplies helpfully, brows furrowing, mouth pressed in a slightly nervous line. Huh.

“Ah, rocks”, Rei says in English, because he’s a dumbass. That’s the unofficial. The official is that he’s just this kinda type to make jokes to himself, uncaring whether people understand them or not. Ran definitely doesn’t understand. Rei Sakuma is a dumbass. “I guess I don’t have specified feelings about rocks… I don’t know if I like them or not. Why?”

“They still pressure me to join a club but I don’t have any club I’d want to join. So I thought about making one…” Rei nods, homework long since forgotten, and he’s kinda moved Ran went to him, of all people. He’s pretty sure Tomoe would drop his flowers at any time if only Ran asked him to, but maybe he was too polite for that. Or maybe he just thought that if Tomoe is already in a club, there’s absolutely no meaning in asking him to change, in that case, god, what a cute fucker.

Wait. Wait, he’s a stuco pres. Of course Ran would go to him, you dumbass.

Still cute.

“And a few times I heard… something something you fossil.”

Rei howls internally and feels like eating his homework. Too soon.

He snorts, trying to choke down an enamoured noise that would probably sound kinda disgusting. “’s cause I’m repeating a year. I’m a regular in this establishment. School. And in music club already, kinda. Fossil. Old dude. That’s me, babe.”

What in the fuck, dude.

“Oh”, Ran says, lips in a tiny o shape, and Rei almost regrets speaking at all. Sure, dude. Let’s form an archeology club right here, right now, I have a great fucking idea for your first find–

Sakuma? What the actual, genuine fuck are you thinking about.

“Mm”, Rei nods, lips stretching in a sorry, dude grimace, “But hey, you can make it an association, I guess. I mean officially you can’t get a room if you’re not a club, but… unofficially… unofficially I’m in a possession of a shitty eyesight and a schedule of all classes, sooo–”

Ran blinks once. Twice. Rei wants to kill himself.

“Uh, sorry, I mean I don’t really care about the regulations. Pretty sure it’s okay to use any classroom if you don’t make a mess. Or if you clean the mess. So if you take a classroom when it’s not occupied, ‘s not like I’m gonna rat on you.”

Ran is silent, probably turning Rei’s words in his head, staring at his lips. Normally, or if the look was more present, Rei would feel… maybe not uncomfortable, but slightly out of focus; fans, as one adoring mass, are okay, but face to face with another person feels more personal and intimate, and Rei is, as much as he doesn’t want others to know, an awkward dumbass about personal and intimate. But Ran’s eyes are unfocused, sporting maybe not a thousand-, but ten-yard stare, as if Rei’s lips were something he just needed to pin his gaze onto to bring himself to focus.

“So… Can I do that?”, Ran says, cocking his head slightly, gently to the right, and Rei barely stops himself from 1. bursting into dumb teenage girl laughter and 2. shaking his head in disbelief. Seriously, what is it with these boys?

“Yeah”, he shrugs, “Yeah, sure. Dig up your rocks, follow your dreams, or something.”

Ran’s eyes widen, and the corners of his mouth rise as he presses his lips together. It’s a really stupid-looking, charming smile. If he showed it to the fans, instead of this controlled grimace not reaching his eyes, he’d be the most popular member of his fucking unit. A long-lost prince with moon-colored hair and an innocent smile.

“Okay”, he says, nods and returns to his seat on the other end of the classroom.

Rei, thanking every deity that the attention of these guys that are in the classroom is focused on Wataru declaring his endless love to Joan d’Arc, or maybe that’s Cleopatra, lets out a breath and a quiet laugh that shouldn’t be there.



Crack, says the pencil, and Rei sighs instead of swearing, because he’s tired.

It shows, because he’s been sitting on that stupid fucking song for over an hour and the only thing that appeared on the paper was one comma. You dumb fuck. Songs shouldn’t have commas. It’s free bitchin’ art.

Yesterday he dipped his toe in the ocean of sexual science, namely: he jacked it to the dog boy to find out if he can get off. Which was bullshit, because no scientist in the right state of mind starts from the very experiment part, first he should have jacked it for the sake of it, so he could wank himself to sleep and not think about the kid and his tight little body, soft curves of his pecs and plump lips, and how eager these lips would be, swallowing each kiss praise and something else and this is where Sakuma Rei is a colossal dumbass. Hilarious. Even a doctor can’t help you. Get a fucking hobby, like crocheting.

Like okay, that alone wasn’t that bad. Bad was when he went to sleep and dreamed about what could happen next, what he’d want to happen next because he was, unfortunately, sentient. And what would happen next was: nipples hard like pebbles, short, thick fingers unsure and trembling on his dick, gasps and moans in a voice adorably different from the rough imitation of Rei’s own, stuttering hips and oh shit oh fuck senpai how are you not choking and Rei closes his eyes and swallows, or maybe not, maybe he stands up, tips the kid’s head up and feeds him his own spunk in the sloppiest fucking kiss he’s ever imagined.

This is bad. This is not something you can put into a song, not if you want to have any career, because as an idol the range of spicy shit you can spout is pathetically limited for a bunch of horny teenagers denied the right to tentatively fuck each other, and even if it wasn’t, Rei sincerely doubts the school would happily accept the stuco pres singing about sucking dick. Alas.

He has to stop thinking about sucking dick at some point.

So he starts thinking about Ran. No, that’s somehow worse, but – the hair. Hair like moonlight, like the moon itself. He looks like a ghost, Shu said once, wincing nobly, and that was before Wataru started sobbing dramatically, but for Rei, he looks like a moon fairy. Wow, and he thought he’s left his romantic bullshit in junior high. Surprise! But if anything, Ran is a good ghost. A fancy ghost that walks slowly and gives sad, mysterious looks and never lets anyone touch him, leaves the air around him smelling faintly of uhhh mint? and melts into nothingness like a drop of milk in a glass of water. Sakuma, lay off Korean soft drinks. Anyway Ran is a virgin, and his thighs tremble when Rei sucks his balls–

“The FUCK”, Rei announces, fingers crumbling the paper so hard and fast haha hard and fast that he gives himself a papercut. Oogami jumps in his chair.

“I-I’m not doing anything!”, he croaks, redness of his cheeks kinda suggesting otherwise, but Rei is too fucked up to do anything about that (so like tease him tease him and laugh not anything else what the bitching fuck of a shit, Sakuma).

“Yeah, me fucking neither”, Rei spits and jams his finger up his mouth. Stings. “That’s bad. The hell is wrong with this weather? Can’t focus at all. And you!”


“If you write a diary, you can mention that I’m going to do my stuco job. Like right now, willingly. You get how bad it is?” Oogami nods fast, still wide-eyed. “If our dear Hasuminnie drops by in pursuit of Me, tell him that. D’you think he’d be proud?”, Rei snickers, and leaves. Oogami’s face looks like he doesn’t think anything. Cute. Interesting how his voice has already dropped, but face is still round and soft like a mochi. This is the only thing that keeps Rei’s thoughts from being an indecent trainwreck 24/7, because everything below his face? Rei suddenly cares about religion, and he’s a monotheist.

Speaking of, gods must have decided to punish him for nasty thoughts because the first fucking person he bumps into is no one else than Ran. Or rather, Ran bumps into him.

“Sorry”, he gasps, pressing something to his chest, and Rei’s mess of thoughts comes to a halt. A new cool rock? “I didn’t see you.”

He’s out of breath and flushed, and judging by the time, he’s probably running to claim his classroom before any other lonely clubless soul (or a pitiful soul in severe need of a wank, or two horny souls in need of etc.) does, and Rei can’t help but smile. He only has enough self control to do it with one side of his mouth, like cool dudes do.

“‘s okay”, he says, and before his brain can react, reaches out and brushes Ran’s hair out of his face. Behind one flushed ear. It’s pretty, a smooth, unbroken curve. Being this close, Rei notices maybe a milimetre of roots. Cute. And long lower lashes. Cute. And they said idols are only pretty because of photoshop. He’s staring. Ran’s staring.

“Get yourself a hair tie or two”, Rei rasps, stuffing his hand in his pocket, making a fist without even thinking about it, as if his body wanted to save the feeling of Ran’s hair and skin on his fingertips; Ran blinks slowly, clearly. “I’m fine, but a first year might not survive a collision with you”, he adds, smiles and leaves, lazily raising a hand goodbye once he’s turned, because it looks cool and probably diverts Ran’s attention from the fact his fingers are shaking.

Wikipedia said bisexual means two genders, not two dudes at once.

He adds another bullet point to his experiment, and the conclusions so far are… They are. And once Rei throws the tissues into the trash, shakes with terror upon seeing the scale of his scientific pursuits and masks them with an empty umaibo bag, he comes downstairs and makes sure his milkis slash pepsistream is devoid of blood.


Life is rough in more than one way. For example,

math prof is being a fuck again, so Rei skips, and in result, math prof is being even more of a fuck, so Rei etc etc, and

they’re doing somersaults on PE, because this is totes what an idol’s work consists of, and Ran finally manages to finish nicely, without flailing and/or falling, and Rei flashes him a lazy thumbs up. Ran smiles and Rei’s hand flutters down, overcome with gay, and

puppy honey boy smiles as well, except he’s a tornado compared to Ran’s gentle breeze (of gay, or whatever). Sometimes his nose scrunches for a second and Rei wants to tug him close, take his stupid round face in hands and bite his stupid button nose and then everything else, and

he often forgets to eat, and if he does eat something, it’s almost always cheap, unhealthy and high in calories, no matter how often Shu gives him a sour look and reminds him that he only has one digestive tract and should treat it well. Rei constantly forgets to tell him that he would, but he doesn’t have anyone he’d want to share it with, so for now, he’ll focus on living his life fully and without regrets, which

is a lie. There are two people he would gladly share his digestive tract with, and, as he realizes, dozing off during another english class, he wouldn’t be opposed to the concept of: both, at the same time.

Sakuma? You need a doctor.

“Stop staring at him, idiot”, Shu hisses, and Rei blinks himself back to reality. Shu’s sitting by the desk on the left of his, which is good when Rei feels like bothering him but sucks when it’s the opposite.

“‘m not”, Rei mutters and stretches his hands; the knuckles crack and Shu groans quietly.

“You are, and I’ve already told you to–”

Itsuki-kun, is there a problem?

Shu lets out a surprised Scooby Doo noise. Rei rests his head on his hand to hide a smile. Their english teacher isn’t the most fascinating person to exist, but she certainly has incredible hearing.

N-no. I apologize”, Shu stutters, flushed, and the teacher gives him one skeptic look before returning to whatever she was talking about before.

“Aw, Itsuki-kun. Always so chatty”, Rei giggles and Shu presses his lips together tightly; he’s even more fun to tease than Hasumin. “Maybe you should learn ventriloquism so you wouldn’t get caught?”

Shu just makes a face full of noble disgust and focuses on past perfect continuous, but Rei can physically feel his strong resolve to chew him out after class, and, of course, here it is.

“Do you want to die?”, he mutters and one look from Rei has him rolling his eyes so hard that Nito would probably faint if he saw, not to mention that Kansai kid. “He’s acquaintances with Tenshouin, weren’t you the one to tell us to watch out for him?”

Rei ignores the question. “Only because Tenshouin hangs out with Tomoe”, he shrugs, “And I don’t believe Tomoe would even talk to him on his own free will, so it’s probably that weird… have I told you? Aoba mentioned they’ve got a contract going on.”

“What contract?”

“A normal one”, Rei shrugs again and squints at Shu, hoping he’ll understand it as a subtle warning to shut the hell up, “With terms and conditions for joining that unit, such shit. ‘s fucking dumb, looks like they have some evil plan or whatever. Anyway!”, he pats Shu on the sleeve too fast to be sincerely comforting, “I don’t see Ran taking part in any of his stuff. Dude just wants to dig up rocks and play in dirt. He’s too…”

He trails off, not wanting to say stupid because that would be fucking rude, but Shu seems to get the gist of it.

“Still, you have better things to do”, he decides to say and crosses his arms.

Shugar baby”, Rei sighs and Shu winces terribly, already opening his mouth to tell him to never ever say that again if he wants to keep his eyeballs, “It’s alright. You can say you don’t trust people with strong hair. Waccha forgives you, he has no idea how he does it too and hey, have you seen his latest nickname on the group chat?”

“I’m trying not to–”

“Lies and slander, I saw you in the after dark room last night! Witnessing all my darkest secrets being spilt”, he finishes, sniffing dramatically. Shu’s already looking over his shoulder in an attempt to oh excuse me I think Nito needs something his way out of a conversation he feels makes no sense, and is absolutely right. “It’s hatata watata. The shit, isn’t it?”


Haha, Rei said.

He’s just a sick-ass kid. Shut up, Shu, at least I’m not that bad.

But like fuck, what can he do? Stage some kinda uprising? Even with all the make up on he looks like a used tissue, who’s gonna follow him? He can’t pay everyone to do what he wants, so what the hell can he do?


It’s interesting, because Rei’s never felt this before. Seen it in books and movies, but never experienced it personally. But here it is: the feeling that you’re not yourself, that you’re just a spirit fuck just floatin’ around and looking at this idiot’s life. God, what a dumb fuck. Look at him, wanking to two people at once. And he really sucks at math! Incredible. Oh hey, he’s crying. All because of these dumb rumors? They’re not real.

But the problem with things not real is – even if they’re not real, they. Kinda are, though. Like time, or gender. Social constructs! That means they’re not even a thing, but for some reason people defend them like it was their own family’s good name. Rei is somehow denied the right to defend his own, because apparently the concept of ‘Sakuma Rei being a normal dude with like, feelings’ is less of a social construct than ‘hey, someone made a post on the internet and it starts with am I the only one who, this shit is legit and 100% true’. Rei’s not sure social constructs work like that. Maybe they do. Or don’t. He doesn’t work either way, right now, eyes red and forearms almost purple, shaking under the flimsy ass cover in the infirmary because this time he really fucked down the stairs and Oogami wasn’t there to save him. No one ever is. It’s always him and the stairs. Why the stairs? Why can’t the fainting time come when he’s in the classroom, or in the hall? He could fall gracefully and someone, probably Kiryuu, would have to pick him up and carry him to the infirmary. And he could spend like a minute in close proximity to some nice titties.

But no, stairs, and he just had to be holding something, in this case: files, in this case: evil shit that’s ruining his reputation because how else do you explain the occurance of Sakuma Rei, everyone’s favourite lazyass stuco press who has to be terrorized into doing his duties, losing his balance on top of the stairs and! In a split second when he could have let go of the files and grab the railing! He fucking didn’t do it. He could have died – sad, pathetic, a virgin – holding files, which would be tragic because it would give people an idea that he was actually filing these dumb reports instead of carrying them to Hasumi’s class.


When he’s at the infirmary, at some point he usually falls asleep, but it’s so cold – he’s so cold – that it’s impossible. He feels too weak and too cold to do what he’d normally do: steal another cover from the other bed, so he just lies here and shivers pointlessly.

Maybe this is death, he thinks. Fucking down the stairs and freezing to death in the infirmary. Cold. Lonely. Never fucked.

“Hey, you still alive?”, comes a voice from the other side of the room, and Rei, opening his eyes in the last effort of a dying man, sees Sagami, a man who could help him solve all three of his current problems, and Ran, a man who

is bleeding from his nose. And it still doesn’t stop him from shooting Rei a clearly, sincerely (he’s a bad liar) concerned look.

Rei’s face grows warm, and it sucks. He makes a face to signify that he is, still, alive, even though it’s about to change soon, but Sagami’s busy looking for something in his cabinet and doesn’t notice.

“Standard procedure, sit stra– no, not on the bed, here, I don’t want to clean these sheets unless someone dies here – and squeeze. Ten minutes”, Sagami lists, voice tired and or bored, and Rei realizes with a hint of disappointed but not surprised that he’d still be sincerely down whenever if only Sagami expressed a wish to rail him. Sagami doesn’t, and gives Ran a small bottle of something with an instruction to spray his nose with it instead. “And you”, he adds, and Rei perks up, ‘Have this. Consume. There’s still hot water in the kettle, so suit yourself. Please don’t die before the school year ends, it’s a horrible mess to fill the papers later. Cheers.”

And he leaves, letting the door slam after him.

Rei squints at the rice ball, focusing all his strength in the act of not fucking dropping it. He somehow manages to sit up, still shivering so much he’s surprised the bed isn’t shaking, and calculates the distance between the bed and the kettle. Bullshit, he doesn’t, he’s gay and can’t count. He only looks at it and laments internally.

He unwraps the rice ball, major characteristics: cold and containing teriyaki salmon, and, a good and law-obeying student he is, consumes. The room is silent and the sound of chewing feels loud and disgusting as fuck.

He wants Ran to leave, or vanish, or pay attention to something else, but he sees from the corner of his eye that he’s still, squeezing his stupid nose as Sagami told him to, turned in the general direction of him. Rei feels his gaze physically on himself, like it was something, a strange substance spreading on his skin, seeping into the pores, clogging his throat. He takes one wrong breath and chokes on a fucking rice ball. Like an idiot.

Ran moves and Rei finally breaks, looking at him, stupidly alarmed because he was supposed to squeeze. Ran’s taking his jersey off; he must have put it on after whatever caused him to have a nosebleed because it’s clean, as opposed to his shirt, stained with several red spots. Rei looks at him, mind empty, like he was watching clouds, until Ran steps towards him and hangs the jersey carefully on Rei’s shoulders.

Rei blinks. In a second, remembers that it’s probably not enough, and

“What”, he croaks. There was an attempt.

“Your lips are purple”, Ran explains, and Rei can’t figure out what emotion is hiding behind that tone of voice.

But who cares? He certainly shouldn’t.

“And what of it”, he tries again, just as dry, even though he was eating a second ago, and tries to shrug the jersey off.

Ran’s hands – warm hands – stop him. He feels the warmth through all the layers of his clothes. It’s probably an unexistent warmth, then.

Kiss me, Rei thinks, and his head is spinning. No, get the fuck out, leave.

“You’re really cold”, Ran says, stubborn, and as if he wasn’t doing enough damage, sits next to him. He sniffs twice. Rei opens his mouth to protest again, but Ran wraps the jersey around him, patting it down on his chest.

So Rei is currently surrounded by Ran, his body temperature and his smell. He sighs and finishes the rice ball, trying to chew as quietly as possible, barely stopping himself from shoving the third of it that’s left into his mouth in one piece, because knowing his luck, he’d probably choke and die for real. He crushes the plastic wrapping, throws towards the trash can (misses) and licks the slight oiliness from his fingertips. Does Ran find it hot? He’s once watched a vid claiming it’s hot when girls lick their fingers after eating and personally, it doesn’t do anything for him, neither girls nor boys, but maybe Ran is different.

Quick question: are you dumb?, asks a voice in his head politely, a direct quote from Itsuki Shu, one and only.

Perhaps, dude. Perhaps.

But it’s like Ran was just waiting for him, because he takes Rei’s hand, one, then the other – in his own, and holds. Squeezes twice.

If Rei was standing, he probably wouldn’t be anymore; his head spins so suddenly that for a second he doesn’t know what’s going on. He must be red like a can of fucking cola, but Ran either doesn’t notice it or pretend he doesn’t, looking down at their hands. Rei’s really look horrible compared to his, even considering Ran is kinda pale too, and Rei can’t, is unable to, make any noise.

“My sister”, Ran starts, but decides not to finish, or maybe: doesn’t know how to, or maybe that’s a full sentence, an explanation Rei doesn’t understand. Role exchange.

He holds Rei’s hands until his own get clammy with sweat, and until Sagami comes back even less impressed than before. Sagami supplies Rei with a plastic cup of warm water and kicks him out as politely as he can get, so at some point Ran’s jersey slides down his shoulders to the bed. Maybe it was a kind of a plan? Maybe Ran knew Rei’s a dumb bitch for him, and… yeah, no, that would make zero sense.

Ran transfers after the school year ends, along with Tomoe, and Shu would probably let out an ugly laugh if he wasn’t already cursing Tenshouin and everything close to him. So it’s the last time Rei sees him for a long time, and somehow this is how he remembers him. Warm hands, messy hair and a bit of dry blood under his nose.


He wakes up naked and on his back. Two issues: he never sleeps naked, and: he never sleeps on his back.

They’re pressed to his sides, both of them. He registers the warmth of their bodies before he registers who they are; long, white hair like an uncontrollable waterfall of moonlight on the right, and a short, sand-coloured crown of hair on the left, still a bit stiff from hair mousse. Nagisa and Koga.

He’s being touched, and he realizes it gradually. They’re certainly making use of his full nudity, lazily and interchangeably stroking his half-hard cock like it was just a form of killing time. Nagisa’s hand seems to be know what it’s doing, focusing more on the head and teasing the slit with the tips of his fingers, and Koga pumps it like it was his own dick, at 1am and in the shower. His other hand is, for some reason, caressing Rei’s unexistent adbominal muscles, and he’s kissing up his chest, his breath tickling his ribs. Nagisa has less finesse and simply leans to suck on a nipple.

Rei’s breath catches in his throat and they look at him with no surprise. They share a look that lasts maybe two seconds, then Koga sits up heavily and moves to lie the other way. He rests one elbow on Rei’s thigh, hovering over his cock, then brushes some hair behind his ear – even though it’s too short and there’s no way it’d be a nuisance – and puts his mouth on it. Rei lets out a noise, and he throws his head back, but a steady hand pushes it back forward. Nagisa kisses his cheek and stays pressed against him, like he was telling him to just look, so Rei does.

Koga doesn’t need superb skills, he’s raw and unexperienced and that’s what makes Rei go crazy sometimes, with his unsure moves and slow, gentle mouth. He must think Rei’s cock is too big to swallow at once, because he lets go with a quiet pop and his tongue darts out to lick tentatively at the head. Both are pink and glistening wet and Rei swallows, biting his lip. Koga licks it again, this time properly, with the flat of his tongue, and it swirls around Rei’s cock, as if he was trying to evenly cover it with his own saliva. He licks his plump limps and mouths at the head, brushing his teeth against it a few times, but it only makes Rei’s thigh tremble. His sweaty hand squeezes Rei’s thigh and he finally takes some of his cock in, giving him more of that liquid, warm feeling pooling low in his gut. He slowly bobs his head, lips slick from saliva and precum because Rei is a quick easy bitch, and when he remembers that this activity isn’t called sucking dick just because it sounds pretty and sucks for real, Rei can’t help but moan like an even easier bitch, legs twitching so intensely he almost knees Koga in the head.

There’s a hum next to his ear and Nagisa’s cool hand turns Rei’s face towards him and he claims his lips in a kiss that feels too much for him, bringing out the big guns almost immediately, sucking on Rei’s tongue with a noise that shouldn’t, really shouldn’t be that exciting, considering how disgusting it is, and nipping at his lips. Rei’s hot everywhere and doesn’t know what to do, burying his fingers in Koga’s hair and trying to grab Nagisa somehow; he doesn’t know, it all feels like a blur of pleasure so intense he should be pretty embarrassed about, but he just can’t keep quiet. None of them seems to want him to, but he’s never been noisy when masturbating and being like… this, like his moans were the only real thing out there, is making his head spin even more.

At some point Koga stops, and climbs on top of Rei instead. He’s even warmer than before, both his face and cock flushed pink and looking edible as fuck, and he smiles, as if he knew exactly what Rei wants to do (and Rei wants to have him in all holes at once, now). He strokes Rei’s cock several times, raises his hips and – just like that – guides it in.

“Fuck?”, Rei wheezes; Koga sinks down in one fluid motion and and he huffs, lips pressed tightly together and head tipped back. He’s tight, tight and hot and soft inside, and it hits Rei like a piano falling on a cartoon character. He brings a hand to his lips and bites it, not sure why exactly, but it’s good to have something in his mouth. His cock twitches and Koga’s thighs squeeze his waist as he makes a muffled noise, quiet and soft and Rei wants to get him down there, entirely, press against him and kiss him silly.

Nagisa moves, he notices; he sits up and before Koga can do anything, brings him in for a kiss. Koga complies, like he didn’t care who he’s kissing, or didn’t even fully know that. He closes his eyes, pliantly opens his mouth and lets Nagisa lick inside, humming with pleasure. They don’t even bother keeping it private, or deliberately make it as visible as possible, just for Rei. Nagisa sucks on Koga’s tongue, then bites it and Koga’s hips twitch, forcing Rei deeper inside. He sucks in a shaky breath and they stop, Nagisa giving Koga his last, surprisingly chase kiss and moving away from him. Koga leans over Rei, resting hands over his chest, and starts moving his hips, to Rei’s… torture. Death? He doesn’t know, can’t formulate a coherent thought in his head because he is fucking Koga, or Koga’s fucking him, who knows, he’s inside Koga’s body and Koga’s all pleasure, quiet noises and gasps, fingers trembling and fingernails digging into Rei’s chest. Rei’s much less subtle, sounding more like a chicken someone’s repeatedly stepping on rather than a pathetic not-anymore virgin who’s getting the best fuck? lay? ass? of his life, but Koga – when he’s not biting his lower lip or letting his eyes flutter close or both at once, looks at him with that kind of tired and distracted satisfaction that tells him he shouldn’t be worried about his noises at all.

And then Nagisa spreads Rei’s thighs, and a moan dies on Rei’s lips.

Koga is still moving, rolling his hips, hands unsteady and cheeks redder than ever. “Senpai”, he gasps, and Rei thinks that it must be the first time anyone really said anything here, “Senpai, more”, but it doesn’t manage to fully consider it before Nagisa’s cock presses against his hole, pushing deeper smoothly even though Nagisa is undeniably big. And hot. And stretching him almost to the point of pain, but, as Rei realizes, eyes prickling with tears, he doesn’t mind as much.

Koga surges forward, breath ragged and irregular, pink tongue resting on his dry lips, and it’s only when he whines that Rei realizes that he just wants a kiss – so he gives it to him, though maybe it’s not as much a kiss as just sliding their tongues together. Koga seems to be satisfied just by that, though, because both his whimpers and movements are growing desperate.

“Koga”, Rei rasps after they part, and that seems to do the job; the boy lets out a choked gasp and presses his face into Rei’s chest, body shuddering with what seems like a violent orgasm, clenching around Rei’s cock in a way that definitely doesn’t help. Rei struggles, but finally finds it in himself to lift a hand and pet Koga’s hair and shoulders. Koga whines again, weak and quiet, and Rei thinks about his cum on his stomach. He hopes there’s a lot.

He blinks, suddenly remembering Nagisa. He looks up and their eyes meet; Rei shudders, Nagisa’s gaze somehow intense despite how gentle he is, stroking the inside of Rei’s thigh as if comfortingly.

“Okay?”, Nagisa asks. Rei’s fingers still in Koga’s hair, his mouth suddenly dry. Now that his attention is back on Nagisa – even though Koga is still very on top of him, Rei’s cock softening but still inside – he feels again, more clearly, how much he’s stretched, and he licks his lips.

Nagisa probably takes it as a yes, because he yanks his hips back and thrusts into Rei once. Rei’s not sure if what escapes his lips is a moan or a shout, but his entire body is on fire, tingling, and it’s like – like he stopped jacking off to change a position or pick another video to wank to, and starting again feels more intense, except this is even more, this is much more, because it was Koga and then it’s Nagisa and he’s trapped. Koga raises his head and gives Rei a lazy peck on the chin before getting up. Rei’s cock slips out on its own and Koga curls by Rei’s side again. Nagisa thrusts again, and Rei gasps, but that doesn’t seem to bother him anymore, his hips snapping against Rei’s, the noise of skin against skin loud in his ears.

Rei wants to cover his mouth again, because Nagisa and Nagisa’s cock and, surprisingly, the times when he pulled back, as if he could turn him inside out, but before he actively tries to do it, Koga swipes a finger over Rei’s stomach, picking up his own spunk, and presents it to Rei as if it was finest chocolate. Something in Rei’s body speeds up, and he’s not sure if it’s Nagisa’s cock or his own pulse, but he opens his mouth and licks it all off, panting; he sucks Koga’s finger clean and Koga laughs, a raspy sound that goes straight to Rei’s dick and he squeezes his eyes close.

“D’ya want more, senpai?”, Koga whispers, soft lips brushing against his ear, one more impulse making Rei shudder, right next to the actual content of said whisper and the current content of his ass, and Nagisa’s moans and his hands squeezing Rei’s hips so hard his bruises probably have bruises on his own.

Rei does. Rei wants more, Rei wants to suck every drop of cum Koga has stored in his body, wants to have all holes of his body full and stuffed–

and he almost tells him that, but Nagisa speeds up, pushing Rei’s legs up and almost folding him in half in the processs, rutting against him in a way that felt too dirty even for Rei, right now. Koga presses against him harder, as if protectively, but Nagisa pays him no mind, hips jerking erratically, eyes wide and lips parted, as if he himself was surprised by what he was doing. Rei holds back a sob, Nagisa’s cock rubbing inside him and porn always mentions some sweet spot, or sensitive spot or whatever, but at this point Rei’s entire ass is a sweet spot, and Nagisa is hitting it just right. Rei’s thigh muscles tighten and he turns his tead, tears hot on his cheeks, and he blinks back the wetness in his eyes to see Koga, who kisses him on the lips, but softer, because he probably has no energy for more.

Nagisa leans over him, pressing his thighs even more into his torso, kisses his cheek stupidly as he pounds into him, sweaty hands wandering, caressing his shoulders, cheeks, thighs.

He kisses him again, then licks his cheek, surprisingly slowly for what his lower half is doing, as if he deliberately wanted Rei to feel just that, just the warmth of his tongue and the saliva cooling down on his skin.

Koga – Rei isn’t sure if he growls or says something, but it’s angry and possessive but round around the edges, and Koga takes his lips again, ferocious again, and Rei’s warm, warm all over, tight and pulsing, and his fingers close around something unspecified as he

comes. Definitely, decidedly comes in several spurts, the last raspy moan still on his tongue, night air chilly against his feet, sticking from under the cover.

He stares. Stares until his eyes hurt and he has to blink quickly, rubbing a hand against his eyes.


He sits up so fast that the dizziness almost sends him back horizontal. He catches his breath, still ragged, and looks around, the first thing burning in his chest being fear and shame because if he’s at school– if this was a dream– then his noises. And the names he said, the one name– if he’s in the coffin, then–

But he’s not in the coffin, he realizes, because he wouldn’t be able to sit up, and he’s definitely not at school, because the school doesn’t smell of dirty clothes and unfinished cup ramen and his own personal room back home.

The phone he eventually manages to localize (having tumbled down from his bed and finding it right next to his left knee) helpfully supplies the time and date; the former says it’s too early for the trains and too late to get a good night’s sleep, and the latter tells him that it’s Wednesday. Wednesday. Wednesday.

The lagging stream that did convey what was necessary to convey. Koga swearing at the screen, at Trickstar and then at Adam, voice tight with emotion, eyebrows rightfully offended.

Pale wrists. Wide hands with large, elegantly rectangular fingernails. That the livestream didn’t show, but Rei knew. Hair like moonlight, framed by ghastly violet lights, becoming one with the smoke on stage. A gentle spirit with eyes clear and sincere like water, waving that mic stand around like he wanted to stick it in every single person in the audience’s ass.

Rei sighs. His throat is dry and hot, the front his pajama pants quite the opposite.



Ran Nagisa has, apparently, freed himself from the clutches of that evil company who invented that fucking Oden, in wise and immortal words of Sena Izumi, and relocated himself and his merry group where absolutely no one wanted him, that is: in the company that also managed Knights; seemingly to take a better hold of his career and create a persona for himself that will be more natural and true to his actual self, actually: to snog Tomoe Hiyori at all times and places, possibly to test at what point their manager will kick them out without a goodbye.

Sena Izumi is either lying or giving them tips on finding less frequented places to snog, because some shocking three months after Adonis and Koga graduate and join the company, Ran Nagisa’s unit debuts under a new name and with a new concept, namely: one that includes them all in school uniforms and Ran Nagisa in twin braids, doing cute things in a school building, everything with a gentle vintage filter. At some point, Ran Nagisa bites into a croissant and there’s a trace of chocolate on his cheeks, which he doesn’t care about, focused on chewing. At some point, Sazanami Jun hits Tomoe Hiyori with a broom.

Just as much at some point, they bump into each other backstage, because there’s an Event happening and UNDEAD is supposed to perform right after Oden, or Eden, or secret garden. It’s hard to tell. It takes Rei a few seconds to recognize Nagisa-kun, partially because he emerges from the corridor just when Rei plans to submerge into it and partially because he is wearing a stylized uniform and twin braids. It takes Nagisa-kun similarly long enough to recognize Rei, because his hair is shorter and he’s wearing proper and fitting makeup.

“O”, Nagisa-kun says, and Rei feels warm. Even like this– “Hey. Hi”, he adds, and smiles, first unsure, then, after a second, wider.

“Hi”, Rei says, trying not to stare, and then he stares, trying not to look like he’s staring. Nagisa-kun looks… different, a little bit. He is older, obviously, and wearing professional makeup as well, but there’s something different. Maybe it’s hidden in the curve of his smile, or the smooth lines of his eyebrows; Rei doesn’t know, but it’s warm. “You look nice”, he says in the end, stealing a glance at the rest of his clothes, and half of a glance at the rest of the members. “And you were good. Your singing’s gotten better.”

It sounds bland and cliche, like a first praise that comes to mind, but in this case, it’s true; back then, his voice reminded Rei of an empty glass – objectively good, and if you put certain things inside, and place in in a certain place, it looks lovely and you can take photos of it, and put them on insta. But now it resembles a greenhouse, in a way that there’s sun in it, and things that are alive, breathing. Nagisa-kun sounds like he can breathe more, more confidently, and his voice resonates more.

He smiles wider, white teeth showing. “Is that so?”, he says, cocking his head slightly, gently to the right, “Then I’m glad. You’re good too.” He blinks. “Oh, you haven’t performed yet. Then… I mean–”

There’s a laugh to the left and Tomoe Hiyori pats Nagisa-kun on the back. The hand stays.

“Well, you’ll see in a moment”, Rei shrugs, but it feels nice, even if it’s only a short while. Someone calls Nagisa-kun back in the room, and prompts UNDEAD to go, so Rei – asks Nagisa-kun if he has a private twitter (he has), tells Koga to calm down and not eat this fine gentleman (the fine gentleman says fuck), checks if everyone is properly dressed, the right headsets, right socks and shoes as well, especially in this group, and then, in the last moment before they huddle together for the obligatory we are undead, Nagisa-kun takes his hand (cold, as always when he’s nervous) in his two hands (warm, slightly sweaty) and squeezes, looking Rei in the eyes as if he was looking for something.

Rei squeezes back, and smiles. Nods, too, in case he wasn’t clear, but it seems he was, because Nagisa-kun nods as well and lets go, vanishing just as quickly as he appeared, tugged away by Tomoe Hiyori.


Rei wakes up in the worst way, that is: by a phone notification, because he forgot to turn on silent mode.

i just switched accts and saw


He rubs his eyes, trying to move as little as it’s possible, and lowers the brightness and the volume before squinting at the phone with more dedication.

and i’m very sorry if i woke you up;; but

congratulations, best wishes

although hiyori says it was his idea first, and that he’s going to shoot you

Rei laughs and then stills; to be safe, he hides the phone along with himself under the cover.

i dont think hes actually going to do that, though

i saw the photos too. you looked very nice

sending regards. please hold the white pomeranian’s paw for me.

Rei smiles again, and taps a quick reply along with a ill reply properly tomorrow orz.

The covers rustle and Koga rolls over. He stays quiet for a while – probably blinking, probably considering dealing physical damage – then wraps his arms around Rei’s waist and nuzzles his noise against Rei’s neck.

“Hmmgh”, he says, but the intonation clearly means what’s happened?, so Rei replies with a h and puts his phone away, hopefully far from the edge of the nightstand. He covers Koga’s hands with his own, then after a while rolls over as well. Koga’s hand is still on his waist, light and feeling as if it’s going to slide down in a minute.

Koga sighs, already back asleep, and Rei feels something tighten in his chest. In the weak light coming from the halfway covered window, Koga’s hair look like silver.