Magnus sighed as he climbed into his large spacious bed that night, feeling the emptiness on either side of him that would have been taken care of if it wasn't for tonight's problems. After another heated argument with his long-standing girlfriend Camille, who had brought up the subject of engagement again, he knew he needed to start making some decisions about his life and Camille. He knew they had been on and off for almost 4 years now but he didn't see a future with her like that, they hadn't even moved in together yet. It wasn't that he didn't love her, he knew he loved her, but it was platonic now. That she was just a constant figure in his life that he didn't know what he would do without anymore.
They had just been on a date at some restaurant called 'Taki's' that had just opened, it all seemed to be going well. They were laughing and chatting, Camille had started to stroke his leg under the table showing him that she was up for it. He was about to take her home to bed when the couple next to them had caught their attention. The man bending down on one knee and proposing. It didn't help the situation when he said that even though they had only been together a year, he knew she was the one. Thus began the flying questions from Camille's mouth about him committing to her like that and why their relationship wasn't going anywhere.
He had told her time and time again that he just wasn't ready for that type of commitment but he loved her, however, she wasn't convinced and was adamant he was only using her for sex, only using her to say that he had a girlfriend to look good in front of his dad. He had walked her home that night, before returning to his own apartment. The promise of sex definitely off the table, and maybe his girlfriend tomorrow when he would turn his phone back on from 'do not disturb' mode, knowing that she hated it when he did that. She had told him so many times for him to keep his phone on at all times in case she needed him. Magnus knew though, that Camille idea of needing him was a late-night trip to get some type of beauty product that could have waited till the morning.
Now though, Magnus tried to sleep. Tried to forget about the woman that had become more of pain in his life than a blessing. Tried to forget about what his father would say if they broke up again. His father, Asmodeus, adored Camille and had told Magnus time and time again to marry her. It had even come to a row one day when Magnus shouted at him to marry Camille if he loved her so much. His dad's response is that he would happily marry her as she could do far better than him. That had caused more of a rift on their already shattering relationship.
Magnus always knew his dad hated him, hated the son he was and the way he was. Hated that he was also attracted to men. Not that Magnus would ever admit to it or explore that side of himself. He had it drilled into him at a young age that his sexuality was wrong and no one would ever accept it or love him for it. So Magnus carried that burden with him. Every glance at an attractive male had him averting his gaze and trying to ignore them. Suppressing that inner part of himself now for the last 24 years. Magnus also knew that his dad would cut him off if he went anywhere near a guy, losing not only his only living relative but his job at his father's car dealership and his apartment. His life would take a drastic turn and not for the better if he happened to bed a man.
He wished his mother was still alive, he knew she would accept him. Magnus knew that if his mother was there, he would be able to live the life he wanted, love who he wanted, be who he wanted. Unfortunately, she had died when he was only a small child. Left to be brought up by his father, as much to his dismay. Magnus knew Asmodeus hated that he was stuck with him, but Magnus had still stuck by him. Still helped him, still put up with his shit. Purely out of the fact that it was his father and without him, he didn't have anything.
Magnus laid there, looking up at the ceiling. His mind racing and thoughts going over and over in his head as to how he could fix it with Camille. Knowing it would probably be some expensive gift that she would want to fix the argument. He had learnt that early on. Buy her something pretty and she was all over him, the minute he told her no, she would turn into some sort of child having a meltdown in the middle of the store. Whining and stomping her foot until Magnus would hand over his credit card and buy whatever it was.
He knew he needed to get some sleep, but he kept tossing and turning. His eyes were stinging from the lack of sleep but he just couldn't relax. Sighing, he pulled out his phone and plugged in his earphones, putting them into his ears and blasting some music. Hoping it would make him distracted enough from his miserable thoughts to relax him a little.
Feeling like he could cry from the prospect of losing everything or being who he wanted to be, Magnus eventually let the music take over his thoughts and he fell asleep. His eye begrudgingly closing as he minds drifted into his dreams, the dreams of him being himself, of his father accepting it and him finding someone who he felt like he actually had a future with. Someone who would accept him for being who he was and love him unconditionally. It only seems like an achievable prospect in his dreams. Whether that person was a man or a woman, he didn't mind, but he just wanted real love.