Maya hart was pissed.
She wondered if her face expressed that enough to the boy standing in front of her because he had not budged. If there was a smoothie in her hand, it would be dumped on his head without a second thought.
“Leave Lucas,” she gritted her teeth, “I don’t want to hear it.” Her boots made a loud clicking noise as she tapped them waiting for this moment to end. She couldn’t wait to get home, tell Riley and Farkle about this mess and eat some ice cream, even if that meant she had to be a third wheel.
“Maya…” Lucas had started with a pout.
“No. You had a chance and, you wasted it. It’s done. Nothing else.” Maya never sighed so much in a day. This was exhausting.
“I made a mistake. I didn’t know what I was doing. Give me, give us another chance please.” Lucas said, with a pathetic emphasis on us. He had the whole face going, right down to the puppy dog eyes.
“I know but- “
“You left me. I let you go. We ended, so please Lucas, understand that.” Her eyes were glazing up, and she would not cry in front of Lucas. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of getting to her.
“Riley understands – “Lucas took a deep breath, He knew he couldn’t go down that path. It was a mistake to even mention it. They both knew that.
“This is why it was best for both of us that this relationship ended.” She said loudly enough that it was not a whisper.
When she closes her eyes, she could imagine all the times Lucas mentioned Riley, like choosing her wasn’t the final choice. Like one day she wouldn’t be enough, and that he would go back, to Riley. Maya never would blame Riley for this, after all, it wasn’t her fault. Yet, sometimes she would look at her best friend and wonder if she was good enough. Maya never felt like she was.
Lucas was perfect: he was kind, good looking and had her humour. How could she not question herself when the guy she loves would say that she could do better?
“I’m getting better,” Lucas quietly said, “I know it was my fault.” It shook her out her thoughts. He looked utterly devastated and her whole being wanted to hug him. She wouldn’t.
“That’s good.” Maya sighed; What more could she say?
“Let us try again. I can change.” Lucas was hitting her spots and she knew that he knew.
“I wasn’t nice enough, I never wore the right outfits, I wasn’t tall enough, I wasn’t…” Maya took a deep breath, “I wasn’t good enough.”
“But babe you are now- I’m so sorry I didn’t show you that enough. I’ll be better.” He had stepped closer to her, holding his hands out. She could practically feel the way his arms could tighten around her, make her feel small against his chest.
“No, Lucas. I will never be good enough for you.” With that, she had enough. She grabbed the purse she had kept on the couch and walked out. It didn’t make her feel anything but exhausted. She knew this would happen again; she was ready to get out of this state for university.