It's late.very very late at night and he is tired.Muster is fun,don't doubt namjoon,okay?He loves to perform on stage.people cheering for them loud,the rhythmic shake of armybombs in the air,that "BTS,BTS" scream,OH!He thrives on this.But the moment the adrenaline rush is over,he feels the tiredness seeping in his bones.They are in busan,lovely city by the way.They didn't have much scope to roam around-with great fame comes great boundaries-but jimin and jungkook have talked so much about busan that they feel like they also grew up here.Namjoon chuckled and then became a bit nostalgic-how long has it been that he had been to ilsan,feels like eons.He is in his hotel room,"starfish sprawled" on his bed,no one,absolutely no one and nothing can move him from his position,he would rather die than move even a finger-
That's his message tone. Namjoon groans.Nope!He is gonna pretend that he is asleep and deal with whatever this is in the morning,he maybe the leader but he is a human too and he needs his rest like others, all the responsibilities can go and fuck themselves-he opens the message
"i don't think i am as okay as i told"
He jumps right up.What?You thought namjoon is tired?HUH!booboo you fool,he IS not.Guess what,he can perform their whole setlist right now again if you ask him politely.No not you, but him...he will do anything and everything if HE asks him and the irony is this,that he hardly ever.One person namjoon seeks validation from,one person whose opinion matters the most to him,would not say anything except a little head shake with "you did well joon-ah" and sometimes not even that,just a nod towards him.But namjoon has learned in past-how many years now?oh 9 years-nine long years to read between the lines when it's yoongi and him.And surprisingly he kind of likes it because when yoongi gets vocal about him,may his songs, music,lyrics or leadership,he knows he has done something outstanding.
He sends a quick reply- "i will be there in a minute"
and he practically runs.well as much as he can while maintaining his dignity and balance not fall down and create a whole new accident.yes he is clumsy,sue him!
Namjoon knocks on yoongi's door
- hyung,it's me.
no sound,pin drop silence.
He knocks again- hyung?!
Rustling sound,a huff,footsteps coming closer and there's yoongi looking at him with a pout on his face and squinting eyes,add bedhead hair and there goes,bane of namjoon's existence.end namjoon right at this moment and he would die happily because it would hurt less.How do people do this?Living with the one true love of their lives and pretend they are "just friends". Has anyone ever been in his position even?namjoon is pretty sure no one has ever loved or needed another as much as he does yoongi but then how much does he even know of this universe and the people living in it,so many form of love-no,no he refuses to think further,yoongi is standing right in front of him and he needs help,obviously or he wouldn't have texted him,that's his main priority now,not the discussion of various forms of love and his miserable love-life with his self,he files away those thoughts for later.
-hyung what's wrong?
Yoongi moves away from the door,that'a subtle invitation to his room,namjoon goes in and shuts the door.Yoongi is not looking at him.He is rubbing his neck and his cheeks are turning pink.Now namjoon is a bit worried.
-if you don't tell me what's wrong then how can i help you hyung?do you want me to me call sejin-ssi or some...
-my shoulder,no don't,it's not that bad,just a bit,no need to call anyone else.
Namjoon gets the picture.During today's performance he had noticed yoongi touching his shoulder and trying to stretch weakly like he wasn't comfortable,he had immediately gone to him on stage and made sure he was alright and after their performance he made sure to ask the elder again but yoongi had dismiss him entirely saying "you worry too much namjoon-ah,i am okay".If you think namjoon is going to be the bigger person and pass this chance to tease yoongi then you are absolutely wrong,he will never.
-i thought i worry too much,oh poor me (with his signature devilish smirk)
yoongi glares,well tries to burn namjoon with hypothetical fire in his eyes is more accurate description but his shoulder sags and he just huffs louder and fall on his bed dramatically,so yeah,the effect is not much!
-i am in pain you brat,respect your elders
-aishh hyung,i am going to call..
no-yoongi interrupts him again.
-don't call anyone.it's not really bad.i just need a little massage and i didn't want anyone to worry.namjoon you can go back,i will be fine..
now it's namjoon's turn to stop him from uttering anymore bullshit and he just says "hyung" in his leader voice and yoongi pauses.
-lie on your stomach and properly please,don't hang like that from the corner of your bed,we don't want to add concussion in our list of "unimportant" worry now.
yoongi pouts but does as he is told.namjoon watches him crawling on the bed towards the pillows,he literally resembles so much like a cat at this moment,may be ARMYs are right about that! wait a minute!why is yoongi shrugging out of his top.namjoon's brain is shutting down,reboot!reboot!!
-nothing.um how do you want me to,i mean where is the pain exactly like if you could point...
namjoon is babbling and he needs to have a hold on himself.what the fuck kim namjoon!it's not the first time you are seeing him like this,in fact all of you have seen each other in too many compromising position,so get a grip!but look at yoongi,will you?oh God,namjoon did NOT sign up for this but i dare you to take him away from this room right now. He is lying on his stomach,his face cuddled in fluffy pillows,hair rustled,pearl-white skin exposed,his pajama is low hanging from his hip and you can see those love handles-yes namjoon has died,in fact,he is in heaven.
-its the right shoulder and the whole area underneath.it feels like something is biting,not pain exactly,just a weird sensation.
-say no more,i am on it.
-don't break my shoulder namjoon-ah
-haha very funny hyung,such original joke,never heard before!
namjoon can't see exactly but he is sure yoongi is hiding his smirk with those unnecessary amount of pillows.namjoon looks for the scented massage oil,it's lavender,nice!now the dilemma part where is he gonna sit?of course he is not gonna sit on top of yoongi,that's ridiculous,what are you talking about?namjoon can feel his cheeks get warm.okay he is gonna sit beside him, like a NORMAL person would and start.so he gets on the bed,rubs oil in his hands and starts the massage.why is it so hot in here?is the air conditioning not working properly? yoongi's skin is soft.his muscle were taut but the moment namjoon starts working on them,his whole body relaxes,feels like yoongi just breathed a long sigh but he actually hasn't said anything in last 20 minutes,since namjoon started his massage.only the sound of namjoon's breathing can be heard in the room.may be he fell asleep,namjoon thinks.his hand slows-
-don't stop please
-no i wasn't planning to-namjoon pauses for a second-i thought you were sleeping
-i don't want to miss this by falling asleep
Nope,namjoon is not blushing.his cheeks have always been this color of red and definitely there's no dimple peeking.
-joon-ah your hands feel good.i am sorry i woke you up,you worked hard today,you need your rest.
-it's okay hyung,i wasn't asleep,it's fine.i am fine.
-you wouldn't tell me even if you weren't-yoongi chuckles but it sounds bitter
-i tell you everything hyung,i...
namjoon opens his mouth to contradict but shuts up.He does not.He never told yoongi what he feels about him,how much he misses him,them,their old days when they had only one studio and they worked together in that close space, producing beats after beats and rejecting them,talking about everything and nothing over a cup of instant ramen.he never told yoongi how he hates that yoongi now locks himself up in his genius lab whole day.well he can't point finger at yoongi for that because he also coops himself up in Rkive,doesn't he?he never told him how he feels about this new distance kinda feeling and how he fears that they are not close,not intimate as before and how he wants to cry and scream even just at the thought of that,thought of being aloof from yoongi.
-i can hear the sound of the wheels and gears of your brain you know?spit it out already,will you?
and may be it's because of the late hours,or the tiredness or just being so close to yoongi in such intimate fashion after who knows how long,or may be namjoon is just tired of fighting with himself, his "mature" self.he blurts out
-yoongi,do you miss me?us?miss us?
yoongi's whole body goes stiff,namjoon's hands stop.
yoongi sits up but he is not facing namjoon,he just sits there facing the wall.Wow!sound of that clock is rEaLlY loud!who even hangs clock on the wall now-a-days,clocks are so outdated!
-i-i should go,it's so late hyung,sleep well,good night.
namjoon tries to scurry off the bed but there's a grip on his wrist now.no he won't look back,he is getting out of this bed,then this room and then-you know what,he will think about "after" later but right now he needs to get the fuck out of this fucking room.
-don't you dare.you can't run away after saying things like that,stop fighting me kim namjoon!
yoongi's voice gets louder in the end.namjoon stills.fuck!he is fucked.yoongi does NOT raise his voice anymore so when he does,you know you are screwed.
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Seriously this clock is so damn loud.