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Heaven and Hell Collide

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When the Almighty announced that relationships between Demons and Angels, romantic, sexual, platonic, or otherwise, were no longer forbidden and were in fact sanctioned by her, Heaven and Hell were at a standstill. All was quiet. The legions of the opposing sides had no idea how to react to the decree. Someone had to initiate things, however, and Crowley marched down to Aziraphale’s bookshop with a determined swagger to his stature. He burst into the bookshop, startling his angelic boyfriend so much that he dropped the book he was holding. 

“Crowley! You startled me!” Aziraphale scolded, placing a hand over his rapidly beating heart and bending down to pick up his book. Crowley snickered and leaned against a bookshelf, removing his glasses and tucking them in his pocket.

“Sorry about that, angel. Just came to see if you heard the news from heaven,” Crowley explained. “I did. It’s rather exciting but unexpected.” At Aziraphale’s confused expression, Crowley’s lips formed an ‘oh’ in realization. “So you haven’t heart! Well, the Almighty finally got off her high horse and said that angels and demons can have relations. About time, don’t you think?” the demon mused, his slitted eyes lighting up as he grinned at Aziraphale. The angel stiffened, the grip on the book on his hands tightening.

“You aren’t lying, are you?” Aziraphale asked softly. “Surely, if that were true, I would have heard…”

“No angel, I’m not lying. I may be a demon but I would never lie to you,” Crowley said, walking to Aziraphale and taking his book, setting it down. He took one of the angel’s hands in his own and looked him in the eye. “The others are too afraid to do anything. There have been whispers in Hell that this may all be an elaborate joke by the Almighty. They’re too scared to step forward and admit who they love. We should lead the way,” Crowley explained, his voice tinged with excitement. Aziraphale looked skeptical.

“But what if it is a joke or a trap? You know, to bring out any traitorous angels and demons?” he asked slowly, choosing his words with caution.

“Well, then it would be good that it was us to initiate it, since our sides have agreed to leave the two of us alone,” Crowley responded, slinging an arm lazily around Aziraphale and nuzzling his neck. “Please, angel? Even if it is a lie, I don’t want to keep hiding.” Aziraphale sighed and put an arm around Crowley, the other carding through his hair. Th action made the demon purr, and Aziraphale smiled.

“I suppose we can. Where should we go first?” Aziraphale asked? Crowley thought for a moment, playing with the color of Aziraphale’s suit.

“Hell. They’re the most likely to do something rebellious first,” Crowley decided. Aziraphale agreed, and the two lovers climbed into Crowley’s Bentley and sped off to the main entrance of hell. Crowley tried to reassure Aziraphale along the way, insisting that the other demons weren’t so bad and would only try to kill him on the spot if provoked. That didn’t make the angel feel the slightest bit more secure, but he appreciated Crowley’s efforts. When Aziraphale found himself back in Hell, except undisguised as Crowley and feeling completely exposed and out of place, he almost turned around and ran. Crowley’s pleading look, however, with his snake eyes flashing in earnest, convinced him to stay at his side. They held each other’s hands tightly as they marched through the legions of Hell, ignoring the stares and the whispers and the demons that followed them as they made their way to The King of the Legions of Hell, Lord of the Flies, Beelzebub. Aziraphale was practically shaking and Crowley didn’t look entirely thrilled either.

“What are you two doing here?” Beelzebub hissed, jumping to their feet as Aziraphale and Crowley entered their office. Crowley bowed deeply and Aziraphale followed suit, not really knowing what to do.

“Lord Beelzebub. We’ve come with an invitation,” Crowley said smoothly. Beelzebub lifted an eyebrow at the demon they considered a traitor and they folded their hands across their lap. Their lips curled in disgust at the sight of Aziraphale, but they made no comment.

“What sort of an invitation?” they asked scathingly. Crowley’s mouth twitched into a slight smile.

“Aziraphale and I would like to escort any demons who wish to travel to heaven and reunite with their loved ones. Surely, you heard the Almighty’s decree? Since no one’s done anything the two of us figured it had something to do with fear, so the two of us are here to guarantee safe passage. Right, angel?” Crowley said, turning to Aziraphale.

“Oh! Oh, yes. It seems unfair that lovers and friends aren’t being reunited simply because of fear. Crowley and I will ensure that they have nothing to worry about,” Aziraphale added quickly, throwing in a smile to seal the deal. Beelzebub blinked and leaned towards them, looking around for a moment, as if to see if no one was there to listen in.

“So it’s true then. It’s not a trick?” Beelzebub asked quietly, their voice barely above a whisper. Crowley shrugged and took Aziraphale’s hand, squeezing it.

“Well, the two of us haven’t been executed by heavenly lightning or whatever, so I would assume so,” he joked. Aziraphale flushed and sighed, but smiled. Beelzebub’s eyes widened and they shot to their feet, running past the two of them. Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a surprised look and left the office to see that the head demon had begun their work for them, rounding up demons who claimed to have relationships of different variations with those in heaven. It seemed to Crowley that almost all of Hell was joining them. He would never admit it,  but it pained him to see how many of his fellow demons had hidden for centuries. Aziraphale saw the haunted look on his lover’s face as he gazed over the anxious, chattering demons and he stepped closer to him, kissing his cheek.

“I think it’s time, my dear. Wouldn’t want to keep Heaven waiting,” Aziraphale said with a cheeky smile and a wink. Crowley managed a smile.

“Right. Come on now, everyone!” the demon cried out to his fellow fallen angels, lacing his fingers with Aziraphale’s and beckoning for the others to follow them before making his way out of Hell. The gaggle of demons following the couple chattered excitedly among themselves, reminiscing of loves lost when they fell and relationships they had abandoned long ago for fear of being found out by God. There were some demons crying for joy. Crowley had never seen such a display from Hell. Aziraphale had never seen such a display anywhere. As the two exchanged a grin, they had no clue about the very similar events that were taking place up in Heaven.

“Alright everyone,” Gabriel said, rubbing his hands together. “I know some of you have been waiting for this for a long time, but we must remember that not everyone in Hell is going to be happy with hundreds of angels flooding the place. We should go in small groups,” he continued, turning to face the angels standing behind him. A few murmurs broke out among the crowd and Gabriel’s bright smile quickly grew anxious.

“Gabriel, why can’t we just go?!” one angel shouted. “We’ve waited millennia! I’m not waiting any longer!” another chimed in. A chorus of angry protests and shouts broke out among the angels, all directed at Gabriel. The archangel tried to keep his cool, but the protests and shouts and anger were slowly chipping away at him.

“ENOUGH!” he shouted, his eyes flashing cold and a ripple of hot air bursting from him. The room went silent. “You think I don’t want to see my demon just as much as all of you do? We have to-” The angels had no time to process Gabriel saying “my demon” as the doors of Heaven burst open and Aziraphale and Crowley, leagues of demons in tow, marched up to the Archangel and the crowd of heavenly beings. Aziraphale left Crowley’s side to approach Gabriel, cautious but resilient.

“I see you were expecting us,” Aziraphale said shortly. Gabriel shook his head, looking somewhat dazed and confused as he looked over the other angel’s shoulder.

“No, not at all. I just…we were about to come to you,” Gabriel muttered, moving past Aziraphale and towards the demons. Crowley noted how Beelzebub seemed to stiffen at the sight of the archangel, their cheeks flushing and becoming more human as they slowly changed their appearance to look more like how they had appeared at the Air Base. Crowley watched with curiosity as Beelzebub and Gabriel approached each other, the tension in the air so thick it could’ve been cut with a knife. Heaven and Hell were at a standstill just like it had been that morning. Gabriel stopped when he reached Beelzebub, staring down at them with a conflicted expression on his face.

“Are you going to kiss me or am I going to have to wait another six thousand years for you?” Beelzebub teased, a rare smile crossing their lips as they pulled on Gabriel’s tie. The archangel tried to stutter something out before Beelzebub lost patience and kissed Gabriel themselves, using the tie to yank him closer and wrap their arms around him. Gabriel kissed back in kind, wrapping his arms around the demon’s waist. A cheer erupted from both sides and it was as if someone had pulled them all out of a trance. At the action of their leaders, angels and demons collided, embracing, crying, kissing, reuniting with long lost lovers and friends for the first time in thousands of years. Some did not recognize each other at first, but all was well and, eventually, everyone had been reunited with their lost loved ones. Some demons changed their shape to appear more human while others stayed just the way they were. It seemed that the angels didn’t care either way. Aziraphale watched the entire ordeal with a grin on his face, his eyes sparkling as warmth unfurled in his chest. It was just so precious! The smiling angel turned to Crowley, only to see his boyfriend staring back at him, his eyes soft with adoration.

“It’s wonderful. Isn’t it?” Crowley said softly, joining Aziraphale by his side and giving him a soft kiss. The angel smiled.

“It certainly is my dear,” Aziraphale replied, putting an arm around the other. Crowley rested his head on top of Aziraphale’s and the two watched on, hopeful for the future.