Jeonghan was not one of those kids who entered college with millions of thoughts about who they wanted to be and who they wanted to do, with the feeling that they would conquer the world, change their life, live their youth, that dumb shit, whatever.
College is just college. Jeonghan is here to get a degree, make some connections, and get to doing what he's always wanted to do: fix people. He doesn't need parties, one night stands, crazy experiences.
It's not like he's against making friends though. His freshman year roommate, Jisoo, happens to be his platonic soulmate. Maybe it's sharing bunk beds in a ridiculously cramped room, coupled with more ramen runs at 4 AM than he'd like to count, or maybe it's just that he and Jisoo can raise hell together and still look cute doing it. Sophomore year, they adopt a few more other people, junior year some more, and by the end of it, Jeonghan has 8 friends. All insane, Jeonghan feels like a full-time mother sometimes.
Towards the end of junior year, Jisoo hooks up with Minghao, and Jeonghan can't even be mad. They're gorgeous together and they've had so much tension, Minghao is so sweet and so mature even though he's a freshman, and he takes care of Jisoo so well that Jeonghan reluctantly lets him go when they decide to be roommates. A bit early, if you ask Jeonghan, but Jisoo and Minghao are so good together, so calm and wholesome he doubts they'll break up.
Maybe he hates the fact that he has to find a roommate this late just a little bit. Especially when he's a senior and has to write a thesis, find a job, raise his grades in a last-ditch attempt.
"Did you find a roommate?" Jisoo asks him over sharing an extra large serving of boiled pork.
"No," Jeonghan whines. "Everyone is either a slob or too annoying. I've even written on our class email list. That was such an embarrassment."
"Well, that's good," Jisoo swallows his food. "Because I have an option for you."
"What is it?"
"Mingyu's moving out of his apartment and with Soonyoung. So his room is empty."
"Hmm. Who's his roommate?"
Jisoo hums. "Choi Seungcheol."
Jeonghan's eyebrows furrow. "Wait? Isn't he like the rapper in Mingyu's little group? With Wonwoo?"
"He is. He's studying engineering and sound mixing, something like that. He's a junior now too."
Jeonghan recalls seeing him around when he went to see Mingyu and Wonwoo's performances. He seemed nice. Intense on stage in the few little gigs they had, but so are Mingyu and Wonwoo, and they are the cutest in real life.
"Okay. I'll go meet him, see if it works."
Jisoo smiles, that look he has in his eyes when he's up to something.
"What?" Jeonghan bites, narrows his eyes.
"Nothing," Jisoo answers, keeps eating.
"You said he's cute once. During a performance. You don't remember?"
Jeonghan doesn't, but that is because he calls everyone cute.
"No. And anyway, if he's going to be my roommate, there's going to be nothing there."
Seungcheol ends up as his roommate. They chatted a little over summer, figured what their sleeping times were, what potential classes they have next semester, and things like that. Mingyu's old apartment is pretty close to campus, and Jeonghan has his own room, on top of a living room and kitchen he shares with Seungcheol, so he can't complain.
Not like Jeonghan can cook. But he can put carrots, onions, and an egg in his ramen now and call it a meal.
He moves in a few days before classes start to get his room ready, and Seungcheol comes early too, to keep him company. Jeonghan won't admit it, but he's kind of really touched. Especially when Seungcheol brings jjajangmyeon, since it’s a move-in tradition.
Jeonghan has never turned down free food since he has been on this Earth. He's not about to start now.
The same day, he finds out Seungcheol likes cheesy movies. Jeonghan puts on My Sassy Girl for like the 30th time in his life, just as background noise to work on things and because Cha Taehyun is actually really cute. Seungcheol comes into the apartment, makes a noise of surprise, and joins Jeonghan on the couch.
"You're watching My Sassy Girl!" He beams at Jeonghan. "Wait. I'm going to get snacks."
He has no words. Seungcheol comes back, settles himself at the other end of the couch, looks intently at the TV. Jeonghan is still struck.
Jeonghan learns one lesson. He likes romantic movies because he's a romantic deep inside, very deep inside; usually, he liked watching them with Jisoo just to make fun of the cheesy parts, and he meant it. However, Seungcheol likes romantic movies because he is a romantic on the outside.
He cries. When the Girl chases Gyeon-woo to the train station after hearing the ten rules no less. He honest to god tears up.
Jeonghan is truly shocked.
"Ah, there's something about that scene," he shakes his head, starts his second bag of chips.
"There is," Jeonghan nods. Seungcheol turns to smile at him and then goes back to the movie.
The next day, Jeonghan sees him in the morning. Truthfully, he was nervous for this moment and he's glad it came early; it's always an immediate problem for him, because Jeonghan is weak for people in the morning.
Once, Minghao slept over and came out of Jisoo's room all sleepy and stuff, in his pyjamas, and Jeonghan almost had to tell Jisoo he fell in love with his boyfriend.
It's partly because Jeonghan wakes up early, and so he is fully awake when others are still half-asleep; it is the prime time for Jeonghan to see their raw, unfiltered side, even better than at night.
Thankfully, Seungcheol is wearing pants and a shirt. He has arm muscles and thick thighs, he must have abs too. Jeonghan is only human. He can't take that much in the mornings.
Seungcheol is not a morning person though. He drops on the chair at the kitchen table more than he sits on it, and groans, his head dropping on the table.
"Not awake yet?"
"How are you awake? It's 7 AM," he groans, making Jeonghan chuckle. Oh, the innocent.
"I usually wake up around 5 AM."
"No," Seungcheol startles, his head coming up off the table. "When you said you sleep at 10, I thought you meant you sleep a lot."
"I do. I also take long naps in the afternoons and stuff. I've always taken a nap in the afternoon in college."
"You're a monster," Seungcheol croaks, but it doesn't have that big of an effect, with his small eyes, hair that stands up everywhere, and rough voice.
"Thank you for the compliment," Jeonghan says and hands him a cup of black coffee, like he said he takes it.
"Changed my mind, you're an angel."
When he's fully awake, around 10 AM, Jeonghan figures, Seungcheol takes him shopping for home essentials that he's missing.
He has a car. Which is another problem. Because Jeonghan is also weak for people who can drive. Jeonghan can drive too, but he finds those who do also really cute.
Conversation with Seungcheol also flows really easily. They get along well, chatting about random university gossip and things while Jeonghan loads his basket with things that he's missing. It ends up being 3 bags of things. Seungcheol takes two from him, leaves Jeonghan the lightest one, and then they load them in the car.
But then they realize how hungry they are, so they go to eat. Jeonghan has told Seungcheol he loves stews of all kind, so Seungcheol takes him to "the best braised chicken place in the whole of Seoul."
It's in a back alley, a few minutes' walk from the department store, but there's still a line when they walk in. Jeonghan wants to tell him it's fine, but then the ahjumma spots Seungcheol, and comes to scold him for waiting, drag him by the hand to a small two-person table. Seungcheol thanks her in satoori, the words flowing off of his tongue with a large smile and a laugh. Jeonghan knows he should be polite, introduce himself too, but Seungcheol in a black turtleneck, large sweater, and black cap, laughing at the ahjumma and speaking in satoori, is a little bit striking.
"This is my new roommate, Jeonghan."
Jeonghan snaps out of it and bows to her, smiles kindly, says it is nice to meet her. She looks like such a sweet old lady.
"Where's your old roommate? The tall, lanky one?"
"Oh," Seungcheol chuckles. "He moved in with his boyfriend," he winks, and the ahjumma shakes her head.
"The really loud, energetic one? Tell me how it is. They must drive each other crazy."
Jeonghan is shocked. Truly shocked, not even taken aback. Shocked. She didn't even bat an eye. Jeonghan feels warm, but not only because of the temperature of the restaurant. He's speechless until their food comes, and his stomach takes the lead in his mind. The stew looks absolutely delicious, and Jeonghan is sold. He thinks he might cry.
He definitely tears up when he takes the first bite. Partly from the heat, but also because it's so good.
"I'm sorry it's not spicy. I can't take spicy stuff well, they know it."
"It's fine. I don't mind spicy food, but this is really good, Seungcheol-ah. Is this your... family?"
"No, she's one of my grandma's closest friends. She makes the braised chicken in a special way, and she's always dreamed about opening a restaurant. She came to Seoul and opened it to help her grandkids through college."
"And... she is okay? With..."
"Yeah," Seungcheol chuckles, gets immediately what Jeonghan is trying to say. He exhales a large breath.
It's as much of a coming out to Seungcheol as he could've made, to be honest. At least they got that straight. Or not, whatever.
When they're done, and Jeonghan thanks the ahjumma with deep bows and real compliments because that is the best braised chicken he's ever had, she whisks Seungcheol away, comes back with two bags of things. Seungcheol takes them and hugs her, and she whispers some things to him again, sneaks a glance at Jeonghan. He smiles, and waits for Seungcheol to finish.
"What are those?" Jeonghan asks, nodding to the bags in Seungcheol's hands.
"Side dishes. Kimchi, radish kimchi, spinach, gochujang, some other things. My mother sends them to me through her when she goes to Daegu."
"Oh," Jeonghan nods. That's... it's so sweet. His mother has never done that for him. Probably because he can just go eat at home, even if he never really does that during the school year.
It's pouring when they walk out of the restaurant, the rain angry, loud. Their car is in the parking lot of the mall, across the street, a one-minute walk. It's far. Jeonghan's hair is going to get so wet.
"Are you okay with walking through the rain?" Seungcheol chuckles, looking at Jeonghan.
Truthfully, Jeonghan is not. But right now, what can he say?
"Yeah. Let's go."
They make a mad dash through the rain when the light turns green, Seungcheol's bags rustling in his hands when he runs. He laughs, his chuckle so infectious Jeonghan can't help but do the same, stopping only when they're in the shelter of the department store.
His cap protected Seungcheol's face from the rain, but not Jeonghan. His shirt is pretty much soaked, and thank god whatever make-up (shh) he had put on this morning was waterproof. Otherwise, this would have been a tragedy.
"Are you okay?" Seungcheol asks, still chuckling, reaching the inside of his sweater arm to Jeonghan's face to wipe the raindrops away. It's such an innocent gesture, but Jeonghan almost whines. It's unfair.
Jeonghan's known for a while that life is unfair. But this? This is too much.
"He's perfect," he whines to Jisoo on the phone later that day, Seungcheol having already left. "He's such boyfriend material. Like... he hit every single possible point there was to hit. He's cute but not grumpy in the mornings, he has a car, he wears nice clothes, he's nice to older people and servers, he helped me carry my bags, he's close to his family, and he's a romantic. Help me, Ji. I'm dying."
Jisoo only chuckles, the traitor. Jeonghan's going to kill him for even suggesting he live with Seungcheol. He probably knew it.
"Then hit on him."
"He's straight, Soo. In what world would someone like that be gay?"
"Are you sure?"
"I mean he didn't say it right away, but he's straight. It's obvious. We're at that clear friend line. Nothing even remotely flirty. I'll be okay."
"If you think so. You're always good at compartmentalizing. You can be friends then."
"Yeah. We'll be friends," Jeonghan sighs.
In the two more days before school starts, Jeonghan gets to also learn that Seungcheol likes gaming. He's doing work on the couch, quickly his favorite spot to lounge down with his laptop, when Seungcheol comes out of his room.
"Do you mind if I play something? I have no TV in my room."
Jeonghan shakes his head, pulls his legs back and tucks them under him for Seungcheol to sit down at the other end. He turns on his console, takes his controller, and Jeonghan wants to see what he's like. When he games.
He quickly learns that even if Seungcheol is noisy, he's not an angry gamer. Jeonghan hates the kind of people who get violent, throw things, stomp and so on when they lose. Seungcheol doesn't. When he loses, he laughs, makes some weird noises that Jeonghan shouldn't find cute. He's a straight boy through and through, for god's sake.
His team loses again, and he still looks fine. He consoles them, tells them it's fine, that next time they'll kick ass.
And before he realizes, he's been watching Seungcheol play for half an hour, his laptop screen having long gone black.
Seungcheol turns to him after a win this time, catches Jeonghan's eyes on him. Jeonghan doesn't believe in pulling your eyes away when someone catches yours. That means you find looking shameful, incriminating, that there's something wrong with it. So he holds Seungcheol's eyes.
"Do you want to play?"
"I don't know how."
"I can teach you."
Jeonghan nods, puts his laptop away and goes closer to Seungcheol.
"Okay. So this is either a team game, or you can play alone. I can teach you the basic things, and then you can try playing alone?"
Jeonghan nods, picks up the controller. He tries to get familiar with the feel of it in his hands, get comfortable, turning it up and down, pressing all the buttons. That's the first step to getting used to everything; feeling it in your hands, seeing what the best positions, spots are, what feels comfortable to you.
For the next few hours, Seungcheol teaches him to play. Jeonghan tries to look if there's anything flirty, any unnecessary touches, any sort of awkward praise or anything, but there's nothing. Seungcheol is perfectly friendly, perfectly happy when Jeonghan actually kicks ass at the game.
It's a problem.
The main problem is though that Jeonghan gets used to this Seungcheol for a few days before university starts. To this Seungcheol who's mostly at home, who actually cooks for Jeonghan, and who either plays games with him, or they sit together in silence at the kitchen table studying, getting ready for their classes. It's comfortable, but that is because the semester didn't start yet.
The first day, Jeonghan walks into an introductory class to vocal music he really wanted to take, and lo and behold, Seungcheol is a few rows ahead of him, laughing with his friends. He doesn't think he saw him, and Jeonghan will surely not wave to him or grab his attention.
But there are 10 minutes left before class starts, and Jeonghan looks. Another friend of his comes, and Jeonghan watches as Seungcheol gets up, hugs him. And not that awkward, one-armed, pat hug guys sometimes give to each other. A full-on hug, maybe with only a few pats. 'I missed you man,' he hears his friend tell Seungcheol, sees Seungcheol touch his arm. 'Missed you too, man. We're gonna hang out soon, right?'
Good. Seungcheol's also not one of those no homo, straight bro dudes or whatever. Great.
When the semester really starts, Jeonghan realizes that Seungcheol is rarely at the apartment, always gone somewhere. He only comes back in the evenings, and then they cook dinner and Jeonghan goes to sleep. Seungcheol asks him a few times if him playing games bothers Jeonghan, and Jeonghan's surprised it doesn't. He's a very difficult sleeper too, can only fall asleep in complete darkness and silence, but he really barely hears Seungcheol, and if he does, it doesn't bother him.
Their different sleeping times aren't really an issue. Jeonghan wakes up early in the mornings, studies and reads some more, and by when Seungcheol wakes up, be it 9 AM, 10 AM sometimes if he has late classes, Jeonghan is either in the kitchen or the living room, or gone already. But he always puts coffee on, sometimes makes breakfast, to make up for all the times Seungcheol cooks him dinner. So it works out. It takes Seungcheol two weeks actually to realize that he and Jeonghan are taking the same class, because he's almost always late.
The weekends are a little bit different. Jeonghan got used to "his" Seungcheol, the goofy one, the one who always does or says weird things around the apartment. But when the semester starts, after hanging out with Mingyu and his friends for a couple of times, he realizes Seungcheol is popular. Like, not wildly popular, but he has a lot of friends, plays sports and stuff, and goes to parties pretty much every weekend.
He never comes home drunk and never brings a girl home either, but sometimes he doesn't come home at all. Jeonghan is pretty sure he knows where he is, especially when he comes back in the same outfit.
One Saturday maybe a month in the semester, Jeonghan is in the kitchen when Seungcheol comes back at around 9 AM, with the same outfit from the night before, when he left and Jeonghan was awake. In the same all black, ripped jeans, and blazer combination that looks really nice on him. But when he takes the blazer off and remains in his shirt, Jeonghan's eyes latch on the hickey peeking out of his neckline. Jeonghan's heart chokes up a little.
"Did you have fun?" He asks, Seungcheol turning around with some leftovers from the fridge.
"Mhm," he nods, taking a bite of the radish kimchi his mom sent him. And Jeonghan by association, Seungcheol made sure to tell him that everything in the fridge is his too. "Wanna eat something?"
"No, I'm good. Just ate. There's rice in the cooker."
Jeonghan also knows that Seungcheol's breakfast is very often just rice and kimchi, because he loves eating that. Just that. Jeonghan gets it, so he usually makes sure to also make rice pretty much every morning, because he himself can't stand eating rice older than a day.
"What party did you go to?"
"One of my close friends, Jonghyun, threw a small party in his apartment. I'm sorry I didn't ask, I didn't know if you would want to go." He looks genuinely apologetic, like all these times, he really wanted to ask Jeonghan.
"It's okay. You're right, I don't really go to parties."
"I don't know. I just like sleeping more, and hanging out with friends in different settings."
"You should come with me once. It would be fun," he grins. "I'll come work with you here."
"I'm actually going somewhere soon. Actually, do you mind if my friends come over tonight?"
"No, totally not," Seungcheol says, smiles at him. "Are you more the type to throw parties then?"
Jeonghan chuckles. "No. We usually just end up hanging out, drinking and gossiping. You're more than invited to stay. You know some of my friends."
"I do, right. Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo I think. I don't know if I know anyone else."
"They're all great. We've just adopted three more freshmen in our group, so there's quite a lot of us though."
"That's cool. I'll be here," Seungcheol grins at him, goes to get his laptop. Jeonghan closes his. He's going to get a haircut. He's wanted to go blonde for such a long time, so now that his brown is growing out, he's going to get his bangs even shorter and do it.
The issue is that his salon messed up the scheduling, so Jeonghan ends up waiting for two more hours than he planned. By the time he gets in the chair, it's one more hour before his friends have to come, so Jeonghan texts Seungcheol they might be there earlier than him, and lets them know too.
But it's worth it. He takes a look at himself in the mirror after, and not to be vain, but he looks hot.
So when he walks into his apartment, he is welcomed by yells and wolf-whistles, all courtesy of his friends.
"Yes, hyung," Mingyu shouts, and Jeonghan drops his head. He has the most embarrassing friends ever. It's painful when he's not the embarrassing one.
Jeonghan makes his way on the sofa between Mingyu and Seokmin, halfway landing on Mingyu's lap. If Soonyoung minds, he doesn't really care. They stole his side of the sofa, so they should suffer. He gets a drink from Mingyu, who gets up and then when he comes back, sits next to Soonyoung on the floor, wisely understanding that is Jeonghan's seat. The commotion must have awoken Seungcheol, who comes out of his room and joins them, his eyes fixed on Jeonghan.
"You changed your hair," he says, sits down on the floor below Jeonghan, laying on the sofa's armrest, his legs crossed. Jeonghan nods. "Looks good."
"Thanks," he whispers to him.
By chance, he glances at Jisoo right after. He's smirking, his mouth opening to say something. That's when it hits Jeonghan, that Jisoo probably told all of them about Jeonghan's crush-that's-not-even-a-crush.
"No," Jeonghan says out loud, cuts him off. Everyone looks weirdly at him, but Jeonghan only nudges Seungcheol. "Introduce yourself." And then he gets up from the sofa, sees Jisoo get up right after to go to the kitchen with him.
"Shut up. He is. Don't embarrass me. Don't say anything. I have to live with him."
He's parched from staying in the chair of the salon for so long, so he downs two glasses of water straight from the sink, turns to Jisoo right as he nudges Jeonghan's shoulder.
"Wanna test it?"
"What, that he's straight? Why don't you ask Mingyu and Wonwoo if you're so curious?"
"Did. They say they've only seen him with girls."
"Point proven," Jeonghan rinses his glass, puts it to dry.
"Don't think so. Call me weird, but I don't think so."
"Come on, Ji. It's fine. I get it."
Jisoo nods, but Jeonghan should know better. It's not over.
2 hours later, they're all fairly drunk, except Jeonghan, Jisoo, and Chan, it seems. It's then that Jeonghan feels Jisoo's mind at work.
"Let's play a game. Truth or dare," Jisoo suggests, his voice slow. Everybody cheers though, excited at the idea. Why would people ever be excited by Jisoo's ideas, it's beyond Jeonghan, especially when it's a game like this. Usually, Jeonghan would be the main perpetrator next to Jisoo, but when it's turned to him, it doesn't feel good.
Jisoo won't start with him. He starts with Soonyoung, daring him to make a sexy choreography to a children's song, which he does well, of course. Soonyoung goes on and has Chan tell the truth of when he had his first kiss. Chan blushes to hell, but he admits it was this year. Jeonghan wishes he could hug the kid.
A few people go, until Minghao has to answer a truth about him and Jisoo, and then Jeonghan sees Jisoo whisper in his ear right after.
Jeonghan's screwed. If he chooses truth, he might be forced to admit something he doesn't want to, because Jisoo doesn't play. Like always, he has to go with dare, because that doesn't mean admitting your deepest, darkest secrets to the world.
Before Minghao even gets to ask his name, Jeonghan nods.
"Woah," everyone chants. It's like middle school all over again. Seriously. Jeonghan rolls his eyes.
"Play 7 minutes in heaven. With... Let's roll this bottle and see."
Rolling a bottle is the easiest thing to rig. Jisoo's close enough to it to only spin it a little, make waves with his hands to spin it a little more when it's not quite on Seungcheol. It clearly falls on Jeonghan.
"Oh. Since Jeonghan can't do it, the person next to him should," Soonyoung proposes, and Jeonghan sees Seungcheol chuckle, the sound of his laugh piercing through the air. Jeonghan's started to recognize it, pick it apart in a group of people.
"Let's do it," he gets up, so Jeonghan does too. But not without a pointed look to all the offenders, so they know they have to face his wrath tomorrow.
They end up in Jeonghan's room, which Seungcheol locks behind him. "They all do it in those movies,” he says as an explanation, chuckling.
"Middle school movies, and they usually lock it from outside," Jeonghan throws, lays on his bed. Seungcheol takes a tour of his room, lit only by the fairy lights on Jeonghan's walls.
"I really like how you decorated."
"I'm glad it lasted for so long. I don't have the best track record with cleaning, you know."
"Yeah. Me neither."
Seungcheol joins him on the bed, sits down next to him. The low lights, the proximity, the couple of drinks, they all light something up in Jeonghan. But he won't give into it.
Seungcheol's straight, for god's sake.
"Your friends are cool."
"They're all little devils," Jeonghan answers, tucking his hands behind his head.
"It's true. But it doesn't mean they're not nice."
It must be obvious for Seungcheol too. That Jisoo and Soonyoung and everybody clearly planned to get them in this room together and Seungcheol probably agreed so he doesn't hurt Jeonghan. It's maybe nice of him, and maybe Jeonghan swoons a little.
But he's still straight.
"Hey. I'll do it."
Jeonghan's head whips to him. Did he hear wrong?
"I'll do it."
"Kiss. Isn't that what 7 minutes in heaven is about? Aren't we supposed to kiss to get out of here?"
Jeonghan has been working for too long on his poker face to ruin everything now.
"Yes. But we don't have to. It's a stupid, childish game."
"It's not," he chuckles. "It's just a kiss. Come on. Kiss me."
Jeonghan stands up on his ass, to look at Seungcheol at eye level.
"Seungcheol. You are aware of the fact that I'm not straight, right?"
"Yeah. So what? Doesn't make any difference."
Someone up there has it bad for Jeonghan. Seungcheol is volunteering to kiss him even though Jeonghan is into guys, and he's not.
"You seriously don't have to."
"Why are you acting like you're forcing me to? Come on, it's just a kiss."
"I am. Come here."
Seungcheol bends to him, his eyebrow raised, almost daring Jeonghan to come closer.
Jeonghan has never backed out from a dare. So he closes the space between Seungcheol's lips and his.
There's no fireworks or anything like that. But Jeonghan thinks the butterflies in his stomach are pretty damn close to lighting on fire and shooting themselves up, that's how good it is and how nervous he feels.
But Seungcheol's not happy with a middle school peck, by how his hand grabs on to Jeonghan's neck, tilts his head to move his lips over his.
And then it hits him. He's kissing Seungcheol. And it's not innocent. Jeonghan's hands are balled up in his shirt, his tongue sliding over his. And the sounds. Seungcheol moans in the kiss once, tightens his hand on Jeonghan's nape, draws him in closer. Jeonghan puts all he has in this kiss that will probably be the only one ever, bites at Seungcheol's tongue, teases him, presses his hands on the sides of his neck. Makes it good, because Jeonghan's not read hundreds of online articles about this for nothing. He wants to make it so that Seungcheol never forgets it.
Seungcheol's also not slow, not easy, not light. His hand on Jeonghan's nape fists in his hair and pulls, his other holding on to his hip. Jeonghan likes his hair played with more than anything, so it's nobody's fault he whines into the kiss, biting Seungcheol's lip, letting go when he pulls away.
The intense look in Seungcheol's eyes when he pulls back, fixed on Jeonghan's, his tongue dragging over his bottom lip, red and shiny, sign Jeonghan's death certificate. He can't do much but look back, swallow his nerves.
And then Seungcheol smirks, chuckles, and it's over. "You're a good kisser."
There we go, dig the grave even deeper. Take a shovel and get to it, lay Jeonghan down in it.
"Thank you. You too."
It's Jeonghan that gets up, unlocks the door and walks out first, Seungcheol behind him. He takes just a second to smooth down his hair, so it's not obvious he just made out with Seungcheol on his bed while everyone's in their living room. Behind him, Seungcheol puts a hand on his lower back, waits for him to be done. Even reaches to Jeonghan's hair to smooth down a wild strand.
It's probably futile. If Jeonghan's lips are as red as they feel, it's a dead giveaway; Jisoo will be able to smell it on him from the first step he takes in the room.
If he does, he doesn't say it for the rest of the night. He's done enough. His plan worked. They leave a bit after, and Jeonghan only tells Seungcheol a good night before locking himself in his room.
But just the sight of his bed reminds him of the memory, the ghost of Seungcheol's lips on his making Jeonghan touch a finger to his own lips, make sure it is just a memory.
He falls asleep quickly after. There are many questions in his head, but they can all be dealt with tomorrow.
After that night, the floodgates open. From where before Seungcheol was perfectly friendly, now there's a clear undercurrent of something throughout their interactions, from Seungcheol putting a hand on his shoulder to thank him for breakfast, to their hands brushing when he hands him a drink, to his smiles when he gets home, tilts his face to the side and looks at what Jeonghan's doing.
It's unfair. Especially since Jeonghan knows it means nothing to him. Jeonghan is probably just an experiment, Seungcheol's wild fantasy, a curiosity to be satisfied. Not for who, but for what he is: gay, available, and willing. If Seungcheol wants to sleep with him though, he's really making an effort to conquer him first. Weaken him with who he is, because Jeonghan is undoubtedly attracted to everything he is about, from his look, to his puppy-like attitude which turns badass so quick there's not really even a change, they're all just perfectly fitting parts of him.
With his brains too, because Jeonghan finds out from Wonwoo Seungcheol has a 4.0. He must be smart as hell, because Jeonghan only sees him study in the evenings and only sometimes on the weekends; he spent way less time on his project for their class than Jeonghan, and probably got the same grade as him. Maybe he spends nights studying too, it's a possibility. But they're at the best university in Seoul and Seungcheol has a 4.0. No matter how many easy classes he takes, it's ridiculous.
Jeonghan can't even be mad he's being played, when he's being played by someone like this. Smart, gorgeous, attractive. Unfair.
Jeonghan eventually accepts to go to a party a week later, at Mingyu and Soonyoung's prompting, but only because it's Wonwoo's party.
By his luck, of course Seungcheol's there. He doesn't see Jeonghan though, only Jeonghan sees him.
Sucking face with a girl in a dark corner nonetheless.
"It's his face," Jeonghan complains to Soonyoung, complicit to his whining. Knowing him though, by the next day their entire group of friends will know, but Jeonghan cuts his losses and moves on.
Another shot of tequila helps loosen his tongue even more.
"Like seriously. Look at his face. Everybody thinks he's so innocent, of course they'll fall for him," he scoffs.
"Including you?" Soonyoung chuckles. The fucker's the designated driver, so he's not drunk at all. Jeonghan hates him.
"No. Totally not me. I hate him."
"Yes. He's such a fuckboy."
30 minutes later, Seungcheol's girl is nowhere to be found. If Jeonghan didn't know better, he'd bet he's fucking her in the bathroom. But Jeonghan does know better, because Seungcheol's in front of him.
"Wanna dance?" No small talk, no hello, no nothing. Seungcheol smirks at him, wearing a black button-up, and Jeonghan has never backed down from a dare.
Whoever's on the music has not backed away from the strip club genre for the whole evening, so Jeonghan is forced to dance to whatever song has a low bass and a slow beat, the same one feeling like it repeats. It's only long enough before Jeonghan's hips are pressed to Seungcheol's and Seungcheol's hands fit in the dips of his waist, over Jeonghan's shirt.
He knows he looks good. He's wearing a choker too, heavy make-up and a white, oversized shirt that Jisoo says is boyfriend material when he tucks it in his pants. Stealing it from your boyfriend material, more like. (He didn't dress up hoping Seungcheol would be here. He didn't. He dressed up for himself. He also... cleaned up. And shaved. But also for himself. Just in case he wants to have fun. With himself.)
"You look so good, it's incredible," he whispers in Jeonghan's ear. It's clear Jeonghan's his catch for the night now.
"Really? Thank you," he whispers back, laying it on.
"Yeah. The hair, the shirt, the choker. They all suit you very well, you look angelic." That's what Jeonghan was going for: the kind of angelic you'd like to ruin.
Seungcheol's hands pull at his shirt, ruffle it when they dance until it comes out of Jeonghan's pants, drops straight down. The big fit would almost overwhelm his figure, if Seungcheol didn't still have his hands glued to Jeonghan's hips.
One. Because the other reaches up over Jeonghan's side, the tip of Seungcheol's finger dragging over his collarbone.
And then sneaking under his choker. He bites his lip when he does, his eyes fixed on Jeonghan's neck, fascinated with the pull of his choker, the dangle of it. When Jeonghan swallows out of nervousness, his Adam's apple presses against Seungcheol's knuckle.
It's plain obvious when Seungcheol wants to kiss him now by how his eyes dart to Jeonghan's lips instead, his tongue darting out to lick his own.
"We're in public," Jeonghan nudges him, but Seungcheol's hand stays steadfast on his hips and thumbing the collar of his shirt. "You're going to ruin your reputation."
"Do you really think I care? This is a friendly place." Jeonghan knows, because it's Wonwoo's. But nonetheless, Seungcheol is straight. Making out with Jeonghan... is not.
"Very sure," Seungcheol licks over his lips again, and Jeonghan throws caution to the wind. He's going to get teased to hell and back by his friends, but it's worth it.
This time too, he's the one to initiate, throw his hands around Seungcheol's neck, feeling Seungcheol's wrap around his back. And then he kisses him, intense, quick, deep. Seungcheol returns the kiss tenfold, sucking on Jeonghan's bottom lip, his tongue tangling with his.
Except this time they don't stop, and Seungcheol breaks the kiss just to move down to Jeonghan's neck, sucking marks on the underside of his jaw, all the way down to his collarbone. Jeonghan's knees give at the feeling, his head tipping back and his hand grabbing Seungcheol's head, pressing him even harder in his neck to keep him there.
God it feels good, nobody's ever kissed Jeonghan's neck like this, almost making out with it, dragging his tongue over the marks he bites on Jeonghan's skin. He doesn't even care who sees him dancing on Seungcheol's thigh while he moves to the other side of his neck, he likes it so much.
He almost collapses when Seungcheol's hands move from his hips to his ass instead, sneaking in his back pockets. There's barely any pretense of dancing anymore. Seungcheol's hands on him are not moving Jeonghan's hips side to side anymore, but grinding them on Seungcheol's thigh, little up and down motions that get Jeonghan so turned on.
What is he doing. He's practically fucking Seungcheol through their clothes, and at a house party nonetheless; if Seungcheol tried to, he's pretty sure Jeonghan would let him sneak his hand down his pants right here.
They need to leave. So he takes the initiative, pushes at Seungcheol's shoulders until he detaches from his skin, Jeonghan's bangs falling down in his eyes, all sweaty.
"Let's go home," he tells Seungcheol, who immediately understands, smirks and grabs Jeonghan's hand to pull him through the crowd. Jeonghan dreads thinking about who saw him get mauled by Seungcheol.
Jeonghan also knows Seungcheol took his words for nothing else other than an invitation, which it was.
Oh god. He is going to sleep with Seungcheol.
Not even the silence, the familiarity of their own apartment subsides the tension, the need. Seungcheol grabs Jeonghan's hand and pulls him towards his own bedroom, opening the door and pulling him inside. He doesn't have fairy lights, but he has a lamp that he turns on, bathing the room in a soft red color from a covering it has on.
Most of his room is dark, from the bedsheets to the curtains, and with the red... Jeonghan gulps.
"Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to," Seungcheol whispers to him, taking the hair out of his eyes with a finger, tucking it behind his ear. In the silence, it hits different, way heavier. Now Jeonghan can't bury his thoughts in the loud music, the people around them. It's just the two of them.
"Yeah," Jeonghan nods and kisses him. Softer this time but no less intense, still heavy, especially when Seungcheol pushes Jeonghan back, his back hitting the door.
He moans. Jeonghan's traitorous mouth moans at the contact, at the press of Seungcheol's body on his, holding him to the door. Like in the club, Seungcheol gets it, moves back down to his neck. Jeonghan moans again, because it's illegal for him to feel this much, to be this sensitive to just Seungcheol kissing his neck. It's a lot, so much.
"Maybe we actually shouldn't do this," Jeonghan whispers, thinking just a little about waking up with Seungcheol next to him and then Seungcheol having to see him when he's at his worst because the stress of senior year will get to Jeonghan soon. How will he face him?
"That's fine," Seungcheol pulls away from mangling Jeonghan's neck, his eyes big and soft, almost puppy-like. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
Even after everything, all the kissing, all the tension, how he's probably given up a sure fuck for Jeonghan, even then he can stop if Jeonghan tells him to.
Who is Jeonghan kidding? He'd open his legs for Seungcheol anytime. Fuck everything else.
"Nah, I'm fine, never mind," he kisses Seungcheol again, biting at his lips. Seungcheol kisses him, but then he pulls away.
"Hey, hey, look at me for a second." Jeonghan does, fixes his eyes on Seungcheol's when he has that tone in his voice. "Seriously, I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything. Like you owe me anything just because we kissed or whatever. We can just go to our rooms, no questions asked, and we'll be fine."
Jeonghan thinks for a while. He genuinely likes Seungcheol, has liked him since he met him, and this... this is seriously exactly what he wants. He always overthinks things, but this is not one of them.
"I seriously want to. You'll take care of me, right?"
Seungcheol's mouth drops a little. Jeonghan doesn't know what possessed him to say that, pull that card on Seungcheol, but... Jeonghan has a feeling that's what he likes.
"Yeah," Seungcheol licks over his lip. "Yeah. I will."
Jeonghan quickly finds himself on his back on Seungcheol's bed, Seungcheol climbing over him, kissing him. It's slower this time, enough for Jeonghan to get used to this. To Seungcheol's hands roaming over his body, his intense kisses, the feel of his crotch pressing on Jeonghan's.
The feeling of Seungcheol's lips on his neck is not one he'll ever get used to though. It's completely new every time, how careful he is. Except this time he doesn't stop at his neck, Jeonghan's hands splaying out at his sides.
He ruffles Jeonghan's shirt up and under his arms, just enough for him to be able to kiss over his chest, leaving small little bites.
Before a sharp feeling hits him.
"Ah," he whines when Seungcheol takes his nipple in his mouth, and wow. Jeonghan's back arches off the bed, wanting more, desperately moving up to get more of his touch. One of Seungcheol's hands lets go off his shirt, letting it fall a little bit to pinch his other nipple under it, roll in it his hand.
Oh god. Jeonghan never knew his nipples were this sensitive. And Seungcheol doesn't lay off until he's satisfied, no matter how much Jeonghan whines and twists.
When he does, he stands up, straddling Jeonghan's thighs, staring down at him, biting his tongue. Jeonghan wonders what he sees, tries to imagine. His blonde hair on the dark sheets, the blush high on his cheeks; his splayed hands, the choker pressing on his neck, his oversized shirt ruffled up to his chest, exposing his nipples. Jeonghan doesn't have abs, doesn't have a ripped body, but he looks good, he knows.
"You're really beautiful."
Jeonghan smiles, because he doesn't really know how to take compliments in this situation though.
"Like so beautiful. Seriously. Not saying it just because... we're here. You kind of always strike me whenever I see you. You're unbelievably beautiful, like... ethereal. Seriously."
"Thank you," Jeonghan mouths, his heart stopping in his chest. Seungcheol says it almost with reverence, like it's the absolute truth, like all he does is look at Jeonghan and see that.
What does Jeonghan do with that?
"Don't thank me. Just telling the truth."
And then he moves back down at Jeonghan's silence, biting down from Jeonghan's chest to his navel, his hips.
"Can I take these off?" He thumbs at Jeonghan's pants, and Jeonghan nods, lifts his hips so he does, comes back. "Can I leave your shirt on though? It's just so fitting," he tugs at the end, pushes it even further up on his chest.
"Yeah," Jeonghan whispers, lets Seungcheol take his own clothes off too, undress until he's in underwear and crawls back into bed, Jeonghan spreading his legs for him. Slowly, after Jeonghan nods, Seungcheol pulls off Jeonghan's underwear too, peeling it down his legs.
That's it. There's no going back. Seungcheol's seen all of him.
And for once, Jeonghan doesn't care.
"So pretty," he whispers, dives to kiss Jeonghan, who puts his hands around his neck with a moan, arches up into him. Their cocks align, Jeonghan fully naked and Seungcheol clothed, until Jeonghan complains and tells him to take it off.
Skin to skin contact is so much better, Jeonghan figures. Seungcheol kisses him again, tangles their tongues and grinds down on him. Jeonghan's been hard for so long he's really sensitive, Seungcheol's smallest touches sparking a fire inside him, until he can't hold back himself, arches his hips up to meet Seungcheol's.
"What do you want, angel? We can get off like this, or..."
"Fuck me," Jeonghan says, straight to the point. He's imagined it for so long he really wants to feel it, Seungcheol inside him, taking him apart slow, thorough.
"Are you sure? We can also get off differently." Seungcheol asks, tucking his hair behind his ear, slowly, reverently.
"Yeah. I am, but thanks for checking."
Seungcheol reaches out into his nightstand, pulls out a condom and lube. Just the sight of them hits Jeonghan. It's real. It's happening.
He kisses Seungcheol this time, arches up into him, waits for him to break the kiss and touch him, do something.
"Can you tip your hips up?" Seungcheol nudges him, puts a pillow under his hips. "I'm gonna touch you, is that good?"
"Please," Jeonghan whispers, twitching when Seungcheol puts his hands on his thighs, spreading them even more. He feels exposed, kind of dirty when Seungcheol traces a finger over his cock and down, thumbing at his hole.
"So pretty. Even here, such a pretty cock."
It's an experience. Seeing Seungcheol squirt the lube on his fingers, not being able to see it, but feeling it when he touches his rim, slipping one finger inside of him.
"Such a pretty hole too, so tight."
Jeonghan groans, his back arching, getting Seungcheol's finger even deeper. Who gave him the right to say that?
"Should I not talk? Or call you things?" Seungcheol whispers to him, bending down to kiss his cheek, bite at his ear.
"No, do it," Jeonghan whispers, feels Seungcheol's lips back on his cheek, his finger sliding inside him.
"Okay. I'm going to add another one now, is that okay?"
"Yeah," Jeonghan nods, closes his eyes, the feeling way too intense.
It shouldn't feel this good, Seungcheol's fingers inside him, his weight pressing Jeonghan down. He feels enveloped, overwhelmed, Seungcheol too much all around him, until it's everything that he can think of, feel on the outside of his conscience. He loses himself in the feeling of Seungcheol's fingers pressing inside him over and over, a third one too, because it looks like he will need it.
It's really good, really really good, and he's just about to urge Seungcheol, get him inside him, when Seungcheol presses just two fingers inside him again, crooks them up differently, rubs over him.
"Fuck!" Jeonghan arches off the bed, a wave of pleasure hitting him hard and not stopping, the pads of Seungcheol's fingers rubbing over something, mercilessly. "What... what the fuck."
"Did nobody touch you here before, darling?"
"Did... tried. Never worked."
"Oh, that's such a shame," Seungcheol whispers, kisses over his chest, not laying off of whatever it is. Jeonghan feels like the pleasure comes from his whole body, like never before. He might come, and Seungcheol didn't even get to fuck him.
"Can you get inside me already?" Jeonghan snaps, moves his head up to look down at Seungcheol.
"Ah love, why so impatient? I'm having fun."
"Me too, but I'm having too much fun. Just..." He grabs on to Seungcheol's shoulders when he pulls his fingers out, getting Jeonghan some of his wits back. "Do it."
Jeonghan doesn't know how he's going to last. Just seeing Seungcheol roll a condom down on himself, lubing himself up, he's about to die.
He seriously can't believe it's happening. Seungcheol's about to fuck him. And he's not dreaming of it again.
"I feel like I'm really about to corrupt an angel," Seungcheol chuckles, rubbing the head of his cock on Jeonghan's rim, teasing him. If he whined, it would be an issue.
"It's good that you think that," Jeonghan manages to clap back before he's truly about to be wrecked. Seungcheol will ruin him for everyone else, he knows.
When his cock presses inside Jeonghan, he knows he's right.
It hurts like a bitch, so bad Jeonghan bites his knuckle in his mouth to not cry out. He takes it, but he doesn't know how. He takes Seungcheol making him feel like he's splitting him open, the sharp pain too overwhelming for words, for anything. And it keeps going and going, until Seungcheol kisses his cheek, shifts just a little, making Jeonghan cry out.
"That's it. You're doing so good. So good," Seungcheol whispers, wipes the tears Jeonghan didn't even know fell from his eyes. He kisses his cheek again, kisses at his neck to distract him from the pain. It works, if only just a little.
What he's more surprised by is that he likes it. He likes it so much. Seungcheol feels huge inside him, pressing deep, stretching Jeonghan so uncomfortably, but he likes it.
"You're so tight, darling. Are you okay?"
"It's been a while," Jeonghan croaks out, moaning when Seungcheol gets his hand on his cock, getting him hard again. He's so patient with him it's incredible. Jeonghan mostly expected him to take him and go, like his fuckboy persona, kick him out as soon as he came and that's it.
"That's fine. Relax," he tells him, collected like he's not buried deep inside him. He's holding back. For him.
But Seungcheol waits until Jeonghan croaks at him to move, adds more lube, and fucks up into him so slow, thorough, Jeonghan sees stars.
"Not gonna last long, angel. You're too tight," Seungcheol moans in his neck. "I'm sorry."
"That's okay. Me neither."
Seungcheol pulls out all the stops to make sure Jeonghan feels good though, kisses at Jeonghan's neck, rubs his cock. The pain never really flags, not really, but it mixes with a kind of bone-deep pleasure that Jeonghan revels in.
His nails dig in Seungcheol's shoulders, seeing his back muscles flex when he fucks up into Jeonghan again, the sight and the feeling getting Jeonghan so close. Seungcheol presses by his spot when he pushes into him, rubs over it, and even if it still hurts, no matter how bad it does, Jeonghan feels the pleasure build in his stomach.
"I'll come. I'll come," he whispers to Seungcheol, who nods, tugs his nipple in his mouth, rubs over the head of his cock, fucks into him twice more, and Jeonghan is gone.
"Oh my god," he trembles, coming so hard his vision blacks out. There's no words to describe the intense pleasure that just hit him, making him tear up, bite at his lip and dig his nails into Seungcheol's shoulder so hard he must've broken the skin. It's strange because it still hurts. Still hurts, hurts so bad but it also feels so good he doesn't even know how to describe how it is.
Sensitive. He's so sensitive, and Seungcheol is still fucking him, even though he's carefully looking at him, at his face, and it's too much.
"Can you... can you pull out? Sorry, just..."
"No, of course, angel," Seungcheol kisses his cheek, pulls out slowly, his head stretching Jeonghan even more when he does, making him startle. He feels empty though when Seungcheol's done, even though some of the pain is still there. He feels content too though, weirdly. Spent in a good way.
Seungcheol hasn't come though, so Jeonghan pulls him on him, takes his condom off with a hand and jerks him off, Seungcheol groaning. He can do at least that much for him, twisting his wrist at the top, making sure he comes too.
When he does, it's on Jeonghan's stomach, strings of come landing on his skin. His face is gorgeous, his eyes scrunched closed and his mouth open in a long groan. Jeonghan can see why all the chicks would fall in love with him with a face like that.
And just like that, it's over. Seungcheol comes back to himself, takes a look at Jeonghan, who still has his ruined shirt on, who's blushing so hard, and feels so sweaty it's disgusting.
Jeonghan doesn't wait for him to say anything. He doesn't want to know what he'll say or what he sees. If he sees Jeonghan as another someone who opened his legs for him, finally gave into him, another catch. If he got his fix, and that's it.
So he gets up, ignoring the sharp pain in his lower back.
"Jeonghan-ah, wait," he starts.
"It's okay. I'm gonna go shower," he smiles at Seungcheol, because he doesn't want things to be awkward, or for Seungcheol to know how he's feeling. "Thank you," he winks at him, because if he leaves first and acts like he's the one who played him, Seungcheol can't kick him out.
He picks up his pants from the floor, his underwear too, his large shirt dropping down to his thighs. At least he has that much to cover up.
When he showers, he scrubs it all from his skin, his come, Seungcheol's come, the lube. It feels shameful, for some reason. Jeonghan feels low, used, but not by Seungcheol. By himself. Like he put up his body for a straight man to fulfill maybe some sort of fantasy, welcomed it, wanted it, pretty much initiated it.
But it's just sex, he forces himself to think. Jeonghan reminds himself that, that he deserves it too. Deserves to feel good, have others make him feel good without feeling ashamed.
Maybe time will help him believe it.
"Did you tell him? Before you hooked up?" Jisoo asks the next day, Jeonghan pattering through the kitchen, looking for the damn bottle opener.
"What?" Jeonghan asks absentmindedly, finding it, turning back to the table and handing Jisoo his drink. Jisoo waits until he sits at the table, although he knows what he's going to say.
"That it was your first time."
Jeonghan stares at him. "No. Virginity is a social construct."
"It is, Hannie. But he should have known you never had sex before. Maybe he would've been even more careful."
"He was really careful. I'm fine, and I loved it. All that matters."
"If you say so. You be careful though, Hannie. You know he's a player."
"I know. It's fine. Just sex. I can play too."
He manages to avoid Seungcheol for pretty much an entire week. It's not difficult because their schedules are different. It's him who comes later to class now, and leaves early. By when Seungcheol comes back in the evenings, Jeonghan's either in his room or at Jisoo's.
By the weekend though, he realizes he can't do it anymore. He doesn't want to. He really misses dinners with Seungcheol, has been eating much worse because Seungcheol usually cooks, but if Jeonghan doesn't want to eat, he doesn't really. He misses studying with him, sharing notes from class, or gaming, or watching cheesy movies as they started to.
It's been maybe a month and something, and Jeonghan is almost dependent on his life at home with Seungcheol already.
It's bad. Jeonghan has always prided himself on independence, on how able he was to make his own decisions, be alone and be alright. And all of a sudden, a cute boy comes and ruins it? No.
He needs a handle on this situation.
So in the weekend, he makes himself busy in the kitchen on Friday, seeing if Seungcheol will go out. He comes out of his room a little after 9 PM, heading to the kitchen, and Jeonghan snaps his eyes up to him. He's in his going out clothes already, but Jeonghan has other plans.
"Are you going somewhere?" He asks Seungcheol, who seems at least startled by him, turning to Jeonghan with a beer in his hand.
"Yeah. Just to meet some friends, a small party."
"Hmm," Jeonghan hums, picking up Seungcheol's shirt in his hand. "Do you really need to go, darling? If yes, don't let me stop you." His eyes snap to Seungcheol's, wide, convincing. To make Seungcheol see the intent behind them.
It works right away, Seungcheol getting it in a second. Especially when Jeonghan moves closer, pressing him to the counter with a hand on his chest.
"Not really," he hums, fisting a hand in Jeonghan's hair and instantly attaching his lips to his, enough for Jeonghan to hold on to his shirt, kiss him back as intensely, passionately. Seungcheol walks him back until his ass hits the table and Seungcheol helps him up on it, standing between his legs.
"Here?" Seungcheol pulls away to ask, cocking an eyebrow at him.
Jeonghan nods. Why the fuck not. It's their kitchen.
Seungcheol basically flashes through the apartment, coming back with lube and a long string of condoms, dropping them next to Jeonghan on the table.
"You wanna use all of those?" He teases him, nudges his chest. "Might take a while."
"Maybe a few," Seungcheol shrugs, leans back in to kiss him.
The next day, Jeonghan forgets he has his friends for brunch, since it's his turn to host. So... he is forced to confront the memory of Seungcheol fucking him in like ten different positions on this exact same table the night before while his friends laugh about one thing or another, eating on it. They cleaned it quite well, but anyway.
He meets Seungcheol's eyes a couple of times, who by all intents and purposes, looks like he is plagued by the same memories.
Nothing is the same. Jeonghan won't lie, his problem is not fixed, far from it. He thought Seungcheol would say no to sleeping with him again, now that he got his curiosity fulfilled or whatever, but he didn't. He did it again, quite willingly if Jeonghan dares to say, judging by the fact they had indeed used quite a few condoms in the kitchen.
It's not like they ignore it either, because they both know the other is thinking about the exact same thing. Their relationship is not ruined though, or it doesn't seem like it. They set up the table and prepared brunch having a comfortable conversation, so Jeonghan avoiding him was useless too.
It's confusing. Seungcheol's straight, but slept with Jeonghan more than once, and without any guilt or awkwardness that is natural to an arrangement like that when he's straight but can't let Jeonghan down. Jeonghan's beyond confused.
"Hyung," Chan nudges him, getting Jeonghan back from his space. "Did you hear?"
"What?" Jeonghan shakes his head. "Sorry. I was thinking."
"Are you okay, by the way, hyung? You look absent today," Mingyu asks, and Jeonghan nods.
"Yeah, sorry. Just have a paper to do, got a few ideas. What's up?"
Seungcheol's eyes dig into him from across the table, feeling like they're lighting his skin on fire. He doesn't want to sneak a real look at him, so he settles with looking from the corner of his eye, watching as Seungcheol looks away.
It becomes a thing. A real thing. Sometimes, when Seungcheol comes home, he looks wired up, and then he'll initiate. Sometimes, Jeonghan will drop to his knees for him, sometimes it'll be a quick fuck on the living room couch, over the arm of the armchair, sometimes on the floor. Sometimes it'll be longer, drawn out, Seungcheol feeling like he's wringing out every bit of pleasure from Jeonghan's body.
Sometimes Jeonghan will feel like it. And then he'll initiate, and maybe Seungcheol will drop to his knees for him. Or do whatever Jeonghan wants, tease his kinks and things he likes out of him, follow through.
Sometimes, mostly, it's of mutual accord. A look, and it all changes. Pretty much every fucking day. Like they can't get enough.
Sometimes they do it in the bathroom. In the shower, over the sink, on the hard tiles.
Sometimes in the kitchen. On the counters, on the table, in the chairs, Jeonghan riding Seungcheol, Seungcheol holding him up with sheer muscles and power of will.
Sometimes in their bedrooms too. On the bed, on the plush carpet in Jeonghan's room. On their desks.
And it's not only that. It's everything else too.
How they still have a routine, Seungcheol cooking for him, watching stupid romance movies, playing games, some board games too, starting and finishing dozens of drama episodes. Studying together, at home or in the library, grocery shopping, eating at that restaurant where the ahjumma knows his name now and his entire life story.
Their class, how Seungcheol sometimes sits next to Jeonghan and then, Jeonghan is even more motivated to pay attention to all of it, feels like he can concentrate better. The projects they work on together, get tips on. How Seungcheol will compliment his voice, suggest songs that would sound incredible in his soft voice. Jeonghan does sing them, in his room, around the house.
Seungcheol comforting him when Jeonghan's millimeters away from a university-induced breakdown, Jeonghan doing the same when Seungcheol realizes maintaining a 4.0 might be impossible in the end.
But Seungcheol still goes to parties. Jeonghan pretends like it doesn't matter, and maybe it really doesn't, because they're nothing of the sort, and to be honest, they have a great thing going. Relaxed, chill. It's all fine.
"Are you still sleeping with him?" Jisoo asks Jeonghan when he can't quite hide a hickey high on his neck.
"Yeah. But it's fine. It's only sex, and it's fun. We're friends too. He's honestly straight, so it doesn't really matter."
"You still think he's straight?"
"Having sex with one man doesn't make you gay. Maybe he's questioning, I don't know. I honestly don't care. He probably has so many friends with benefits it doesn't matter. We both get what we want out of it."
"If you say so, Hannie. If you say so."
"What do I do if I like a girl but I don't know how to approach her?" Chan asks, a little bit of a blush high on his cheeks.
"Oh, you've come to the right place," Seokmin laughs, pats him on the shoulder. "You've got masters here."
Wonwoo nods to Seungcheol. "Top master right there."
Something turns in Jeonghan's stomach. Something, somewhere around there.
"Hmm. Where did you meet her?" Seungcheol asks Chan, taking a swig of his beer.
"Class. We had a small project to do together, and she was really smart. Really nice too."
"So she knows who you are. Ask her for notes or something. Say you didn't pay attention or whatever," Soonyoung throws.
"No," Seungcheol tsks. "You don't do that. Why would you want to look stupid, if you said she's smart? You're smart too, and you're an amazing guy, Channie. Just find out if she has like a favorite cafe or dessert or something and ask her out straight away. Confidently, but relaxed. Laugh if she says no, say I get it, smile, and say if you ever want to go out, let me know, I'd be really glad to. And that's it," Seungcheol throws.
"But I like her. Why would I risk her saying no?" Chan asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Yeah," Soonyoung nods too.
"You all really don't know much," Seungcheol's eyebrow raises. Honestly, even Jeonghan is intrigued. "If you act stupid in front of her, clumsy or whatever, something obviously attention-grabbing and annoying, of course she's not going to like you. If she's smart, which honestly all women are, she'll notice, and she's not going to feel flattered. Almost surely a 100% loss. If you're relaxed, confident, and honest, it's not even a 50-50 chance, it's more. She either says yes, which is great; or she says no, sees how you react, realizes you're a genuine, nice person who likes her but is not pushy, manipulative, or a self-centered asshole, like a lot of guys who get rejected act like, there's a much higher chance you'll grow in her eyes, and the ball's in her court, so she has to ask you out. Your chances grow. If she does, you're good. If she still doesn't go out with you then, it's because she really doesn't like you, and that's it. Nothing you could've done anyway, and it's not because of how you are. It's because of what she wants. You respect her choice, cut your losses, and move on."
"And that works?" Wonwoo's eyebrow raises, like everyone's in the room.
"Most of the time. And if it doesn't, you really move on, find someone else. Why does everyone think you have to come up with these elaborate plans to understand women or get them to look at you? Seriously. It's demeaning for them and for you."
"So that's the fuckboy way. Makes sense," Mingyu throws at Seungcheol. Someone almost gasps.
"I am not a fuckboy, Mingyu," Seungcheol rolls his eyes but laughs. "Seriously, come on."
"You slept with so many girls though," Mingyu continues.
"And that makes me a fuckboy how? Did y'all consider that they want it too?"
"Only once. Isn't that your rule?"
Jeonghan's eyes widen. Only once? That's his rule, and Jeonghan didn't even know?
"It is. And everybody I sleep with knows that, and that's what they want too. Look, another thing that's really demeaning for both sides. You think that women are always the emotional ones, and they will always want a relationship or whatever, and guys are there just to fuck and go? You're disconsidering the fact women can want sex just as much, and just that."
"I feel like I could be a successful straight man now and I don't even like girls," Seungkwan nods his head, and everybody laughs.
Everybody but Jeonghan.
"So what do you do if someone sleeps with you once and then realizes she wants more than that? Do you just say sorry, your chance is gone, and you move on?" Soonyoung asks, a bit pointed.
"No. We talk. Hasn't happened yet for me to want a relationship, but I was always nice in saying it and it always ended up alright. Talking is key, and everybody gets it. You can't force anything to happen if both parts don't want it, why would I do someone like that, hurt them and myself?"
Jeonghan blocks the rest of the conversation when it moves away from this subject. It feels like wind is blowing through his head, unsettling his thoughts, raging in his ears. So Seungcheol might not be a "fuckboy", but he's still slept with a lot of girls.
And Jeonghan. But dozens of times. Not once.
Wise men would forget about it, end it, and move on.
As it stands, Jeonghan is wiser than them, and knows it wouldn't end up anywhere if he let it go. That he'd exhaust himself over what they are and still not have an answer.
Jeonghan doesn’t care about feeling like he’s special for Seungcheol though. Knowing that Seungcheol doesn’t have other friends with benefits doesn’t make him feel better. It makes him feel worse. Because he cares about knowing what they are above everything else, and it’s twisted, strange, what they are, what Jeonghan feels.
But can't let go. Because he likes Seungcheol. He knows himself.
So when all their friends leave, he corners him in the kitchen, crosses his arms and leans on the table.
"You didn't sleep with me only once. Why? Because I'm not a girl? You won't fall for me anyway? Is it just a game then? Play?"
"It's not," Seungcheol turns to him from the dishes, turning the water off. "It's not, I'm sorry I had to say that in front of all of them. I guess... it's just different."
"How is it different?" Jeonghan pushes, his tone quick, impatient.
"I don't know. I really don't. It just is," he leans on the counter, looks down, not at Jeonghan. Jeonghan keeps his eyes fixed on him.
"Why don't you usually sleep with people more than once?"
"To not create the idea that it will happen again or something else can. That there's something else other than sex. Easier for them and for me. You fall anyway when it happens often. So I don't want to do it again, because I don't want to fall."
"So then you knew you wouldn't fall for me, so it's okay to fuck me more than once. Doesn't matter what I think then, if I fall."
"No. It's not that," Seungcheol's eyes widen, shaking his head. He looks genuinely apologetic when he realizes what Jeonghan's saying. "It's really not that. I... wanted to. I usually just genuinely don't. I wanted to now."
"Are you into guys?" Jeonghan throws, his words pointed. Seungcheol looks at him now.
"I don't know."
Jeonghan huffs and kisses him, crowds him up against the counter, holds on to his shirt. Seungcheol pulls away.
"If it doesn't matter to you, then let's do it. Let's fuck. If we started anyway," Jeonghan groans.
"No. You don't really want it. I don't want it either now." He shakes his head, holds Jeonghan by the biceps, but away from him.
"So what are we then? Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies? What are we, if you broke your rule for me," he asks, throwing the words at him.
"Fuck, you're not even in the game. I don't know," Seungcheol blurts out.
Jeonghan blinks, taken aback.
"Find me when you do," he says and pulls away, turns around and leaves the kitchen.
Fuck feelings. Fuck them. Jeonghan should have learned, should have followed his own rule from the entirety of college: stay away and never give in.
“Hey,” Seungcheol comes in an evening a few days later, finds Jeonghan writing a paper in the kitchen. When he walks in, it’s like all ideas erase themselves from Jeonghan’s head, forgetting even what he wanted to finish this sentence with. So he saves the file and closes his laptop, looking at Seungcheol.
From his tone, the drawn look in his eyes, he has something to say.
“I... thought a lot about it. Like you said.”
“And what did you figure out?” Jeonghan asks, an eyebrow raised.
“That I didn’t ask you what you wanted us to be.”
“Why does it matter? You’re the one with the more restricted options here. I’d have to pick from yours anyway.”
“What if you don’t have to?”
Jeonghan narrows his eyes. Seungcheol sighs. Jeonghan knows what he’s saying, thank you very much, but he refuses to admit it.
Despite what he thinks, Seungcheol’s straight, Jeonghan would do good to remember that. A straight boy who was momentarily confused, but who will eventually grow tired of having to be gay or of dating a man in this country, and will leave for the comfort of his women, of his easy, honest, straightforward one-night stands again.
“I’m going away for the weekend, to see my parents. Think about it. When I come back, tell me. And we'll see from there.”
Jeonghan would like to say there’s nothing to think about. But regretfully, there is.
Jisoo comes over the next day, which means he's just in time for Jeonghan to complain about his dilemma.
"So what's up? What's going on?" Jisoo asks, looking intently at him.
“I don’t know Ji. I mean... when I think about it, when I’m with him, it’s good. So good. Sex or not, it’s really so good, but then, when feelings are involved... I really don’t know. I'm just in love with him, and I don't know what to do.”
“You are in love with him?”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, fuck.
“Like friends my ass. Wake up, Hannie. You want it, he wants it.”
“He is straight. He doesn’t know what he’s getting into."
"Give him some consideration too, Hannie. Talk to him. Before everyone comes tomorrow."
Seungcheol comes back, and Jeonghan maybe wants to talk. But Jeonghan also has a paper due at 6 PM, and he's not insane. Seungcheol can wait.
At 6:01, he knocks on his door. Seungcheol answers, his hair wet and only in shorts. He lets Jeonghan in, who drops on his bed, and then he puts a shirt on. Jeonghan wants to tell him not to bother for him, but this is a serious discussion.
"Hi," Seungcheol starts, dropping down on the bed.
"Hi," Jeonghan answers. "How's your family?"
"Good. They're doing well. They told me to say hi, that you should call too."
"Tell them I do too. And thank them for all the food. I should. I will."
"Do it. My mom would be happy," Seungcheol smiles. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Jeonghan nods. "Let's talk. Be honest."
"Yeah. Did you think about it?"
"There's nothing for me to think about, Seungcheol. Why does it matter what I want?"
"Of course it does," Seungcheol purses his lips. "Look... I think I messed up when I told you things. I... I don't know what my sexuality is, I'll be frank with you. But that doesn't mean I'm not into you like I'm into girls or whatever. Because I am. You know I am."
"So then... why did you sleep with me more than once? When your rule is not to?" Jeonghan asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Because I wanted to. And you wanted it too. I just didn't reconsider or think about it for once. Usually, it kind of takes a lot for me to even think about... sleeping with someone twice or getting attached, but with you, I just didn't. Like a genuine relationship, you know?"
"I don't," Jeonghan shakes his head. "I don't know."
"I don't know. I've never been in a relationship before."
Seungcheol's jaw drops. "What?"
"I've never been in a relationship. Before you, I hadn't gone further with anyone beyond kissing and a fumbled handjob before we were almost caught."
"I was... I was your first? Wait. No," Seungcheol's face twists, and that's exactly why Jeonghan didn't want to tell him. His entire perception of Jeonghan changed in the blink of an eye. "But you said... it had been a while, when we were... I thought..."
"I did it to myself a couple of times. But not with anyone else."
"Fuck," Seungcheol swears, brings himself closer to Jeonghan, his eyes wide as saucers. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"If you knew, would it have changed anything?"
"Of course. I wouldn't have done it, I..."
"Why wouldn't you have?" Jeonghan tilts his head. "Would you have found it repulsive? Annoying?"
"Because you deserve more?" He blinks, his eyes wide. "More than a careless fuck in my bedroom, I am... I hate myself right now for not noticing. I'm sorry. It must've fucking hurt too, I'm so sorry, I was so stupid, damn."
Jeonghan blinks at him, taken aback. Seungcheol's not annoyed at him. He's annoyed at himself.
"You're fine," Jeonghan mumbles, suddenly so out of his element. He hates Seungcheol for doing this to him, reducing him to a mumbling, stumbling idiot.
"What?" Seungcheol mumbles back.
"You're fine. It hurt, but I liked it then, and I liked it since then."
"I'm still sorry. I treated you like an asshole then, I..."
"Don't you dare go all pitiful on me, like I'm a damsel in distress, poor old virgin. Don't," Jeonghan warns him, sensing immediately where he's going, and twisting his tone to cut it off. "I have made all my choices for a reason, including sleeping with you. So don't."
Seungcheol keeps quiet. For a while. Enough for Jeonghan to get slightly annoyed.
"So then... what do you want? Just tell me. Fuck what I think."
Jeonghan opens his mouth to answer, say something, before the doorbell in their apartment rings out. Jeonghan looks at his phone. 6:30, when he told his friends to come, so he had time to finish the paper.
"Later," he tells Seungcheol, untangles his legs from his bed, jumps down and goes to open the door. Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo walk in, and Jeonghan lets them in, barks at them to take their shoes off. Seungcheol's lounging on the doorway between the living room and their bedrooms, smiling at them.
Quickly enough, everyone's gathered. Before he sits down, Jisoo spares Jeonghan a glance, and he shakes his head. Not yet. Jisoo purses his lips but sits down.
It goes smoothly. Even if Jeonghan shoots Seungcheol a few looks sometimes, their unfinished conversation hanging over him, finding his eyes already on his, it's fine. It's fine.
Until Jeonghan goes to the kitchen to get another drink, and when he comes back, Seungcheol's in his spot, having gotten up from the floor.
"Where do I sit now?" He asks Seungcheol, sees him lift his eyes at him, playful but not really. Okay. So that's how he wants to play. Jeonghan sits on the arm of the chair, leaning his hand on his shoulder.
"Oh, just sit in his lap," Soonyoung whines, pointing to them, Seungkwan and Seokmin laughing and nodding, before everyone looks.
"Nah, it's fine," Jeonghan nods, despite how he's really uncomfortable.
"Come on, not a big deal," Jisoo laughs too, playful, joking. "Like, didn't you say you're in love with Seungcheol anyway?"
Jeonghan's going to kill him. Not even he can manage his silence, his angry, raised eyebrow at Jisoo, the painful beating of his heart. He not only feels angry, but he feels humiliated.
When a hand wraps around his wrist, he knows it's Seungcheol. He can almost feel the thousands of questions in his head, but he's grateful he's discreet. Until the attention of people is mostly on something else, and Seungcheol gets up, making it clear Jeonghan should follow him.
So he does. To Jeonghan's room, where it all started.
The sound of the door closing behind Seungcheol is like a death sentence.
"He was joking," Jeonghan rolls his eyes, trying to salvage this, whatever semblance of hope he might have had.
"I don't think he was, darling," Seungcheol walks to him. Jeonghan crosses his arms. "So you tell me. Is it true?"
Truthfully, Jeonghan's tired. Of all the running from emotions, pretenses that it's nothing, his mind blocking it all, convincing himself Seungcheol couldn't really want him. Why?
"It's true," he nods, looks into his eyes. To hell with it all. If it's done, at least he's honest.
"Good. Because I am too."
"I am too. I'm in love with you too."
"Yeah. I've been for a while, but I guess I only really realized it recently, was able to admit it to myself. I'm sorry for being such an oblivious idiot for so long," he chuckles, shaking his head.
"Say it again," Jeonghan demands.
"Say it again."
"I'm in love with you?" Seungcheol asks, confused.
Jeonghan pushes past him, opens his door, leaves it open. Walks into the living room.
"All of you, fuck off. Go home. Bye bye, time to split," he claps his hands, shuffles them, ignores their confused expressions. "Quick, quick, let's go, take your drinks with you, take the whole bottle, don't care." He pushes them to the entrance, sees them put their shoes on through the protests and loud complaints. "Thank you for coming, see you tomorrow," he says, slams the door behind Mingyu, who's last to leave, his shoes halfway on, halfway off, tripping through the entryway. They're gone. Silence.
Jeonghan turns to Seungcheol, who's chuckling in the doorway. Lunges to him, grabs his shirt, and kisses him breathless.
"I'm so in love with you, with everything about you, I’ve wanted you to be mine for so long," he whispers to him, arching into Seungcheol's hands on his waist, looking up into his eyes.
"Oh," Seungcheol nods, his eyes wide, startled.
"Don't be a dick and hurt me," he warns him. "Or I'll cut yours off."
"Never," Seungcheol shakes his head, maybe a little bit afraid.
Jeonghan's never partial to outwardly displays of things, prefers lounging around, observing, taking in when others think he's not, spreading smiles if he can, sucking love from others but in a joking manner. Seungcheol though... Seungcheol is so annoying sometimes, Jeonghan can't help but feel less relaxed, more on edge with him. Jeonghan thinks about things with him, when he's with him, initiates less and is quieter, more patient, more composed, to tame him down.
Or so he thinks. But then he realizes how Seungcheol's recklessness truly kind of also rubs off on him, opens him up to new things he wouldn't have thought of, while keeping him down to earth. It's a crazy mix, owing to who Seungcheol is, and to what Jeonghan has to give him too.
When they break off, Seungcheol looks at him, something sparkling in his eyes.
"I promise I'll be good. I'll never hurt you, I'm honestly more worried about you," he nods, all serious, taking a strand out of Jeonghan's eyes with his finger. "You're an angel on the outside and a devil on the inside," he grins, holding on tighter to Jeonghan's waist.
"Cheesy," Jeonghan swats at him. Seungcheol makes him weak. He should hate him.
He should, he really should.
Monday, in class, Seungcheol drops down next to him, grins at him with a large, unguarded smile.
"Hi," Jeonghan answers, looks at him. Smiles too.
Thinks that if Seungcheol couldn't be with him in public, he wouldn't even think about dating him.
Seungcheol takes Jeonghan's hand in his, interlocks his fingers with his, fiddling with his thumb. Says hi when his friends pass.
"Hi, man," they wave to him, and he nods back, grinning. "Not sitting with us today?"
"Nah, sitting with my boyfriend. See you all later."
Fortunately, Seungcheol doesn't have any issues.
Neither do his friends, all jock types, the kind of guys you'd be afraid of usually if you are who Jeonghan is. Usually, but Jeonghan isn't like the usual, and they aren't like the usual ether. They only nod, smile at Jeonghan too, and move on. Jeonghan's truly thankful for the world he lives in sometimes.
“Your boyfriend, huh?” Jeonghan asks Seungcheol right as they enter their apartment, lounging in the kitchen.
“What? Should I not have said that?” Seungcheol startles, and Jeonghan makes sure to put a hand on his chest, pat him.
“No. I’m just surprised. I didn’t think you’d want to admit it.”
“Why would I not want to show you off? Are you kidding me? I’ll always want to.”
It’s a little bit of the straightforward, straight boy in Seungcheol. He’s not afraid to show him off or be honest and open because he doesn’t really see a difference between being open with women, or an issue with them being two guys in a relationship yet. He doesn’t really know what it means to be gay or have a boyfriend in a country so homophobic. When something will happen, then he’ll see. He just hopes that by then, Seungcheol will love him enough to fight for it.
“I don’t know why, but that turned me on,” Jeonghan says, his words lilted, slow.
Seungcheol gulps. “Why?”
“I feel like you deserve a reward for being so good,” he whispers to him, pulls on his hand to bring Seungcheol to the living room, push him until he lands on the couch with a loud noise.
Jeonghan looks down at him, sees his wide eyes, his startled expression, the excitement in his eyes. Seungcheol’s his, for now, to do whatever he wants with him.
Jeonghan drops to his knees. Quite quickly, with a loud noise of his own, pain shooting through his knees. Just resting his hands on Seungcheol’s parted thighs, looking up at him with a certain expression is enough to get Seungcheol fired up, he knows.
“I’ve been practicing. Wanted to keep it for a special occasion, but I think now's fine.”
“What?” Seungcheol croaks, his voice weak, rough.
“Losing my gag reflex.”
“Ho... how did you practice?”
“Do you want to know?” Jeonghan asks, rubbing the palm of his hand on the now prominent bulge in Seungcheol’s sweatpants.
“Yeah,” he nods fervently, eyes fixed on Jeonghan.
“Slowly put my fingers in my mouth, slid them back until I couldn’t take it anymore. Choked around them, and then kept going. Again and again. Until I didn’t choke anymore.”
“Oh. You did,” Seungcheol swallows, imagines it. Jeonghan wants him to imagine it. Wants the picture to go straight to his dick, Jeonghan’s hand helping him along.
“I bought a vibrator too. One of those dildo ones, that gets so deep. Slipped it inside me, fucked myself on it while I did. And you know why?”
Seungcheol nods. He can’t even answer the question. Jeonghan chuckles, feels the outline of his cock through his pants.
“It turned me on. Choking around my fingers. I liked it. I kept imagining how it would be to choke on your cock instead.”
“Oh god,” Seungcheol moans, arching into Jeonghan’s touch. “You can’t say things like that.”
Jeonghan continues, because he practiced this speech 10 times in front of the mirror. “Did it when you were not here. And then when you were.”
While he and Seungcheol were fine, when they were not too, because he knew they would be. “Once... you were with friends in the living room, and I... couldn’t find my spot. It was so frustrating, I almost... walked out there and dragged you to fuck me properly. But then it worked, and I tried to hold myself back because it felt so good. But then I didn’t. I almost... I almost wanted you to hear me whine and moan, maybe you would’ve found me like that,” he blushes, because he remembers it. Even through that haze, he remembers the frustration, then the intense pleasure, how he almost let himself go, didn’t give a fuck about who was in their living room. He wanted Seungcheol to hear him.
“You could’ve come to find me, angel. I would’ve dropped it all, you know,” Seungcheol rasps, his hand slowly inching to Jeonghan’s face. He remembers why he’s on his knees, and he slowly drags Seungcheol’s pants down with his underwear.
He’s already hard, just from Jeonghan's little stories, and he doesn't waste a moment taking him in, sucking the head of his cock in his mouth.
Seungcheol moans, loud and long, Jeonghan hopes their windows aren't open and their neighbors aren't home. But truthfully, they've probably heard much worse.
Seungcheol's hand grabs Jeonghan's hair, gently, just to feel him move on him, but Jeonghan doesn't want gentle.
"Can you... pull?" He asks Seungcheol, breathing hard.
"Pull my hair. Hard."
"Oh. Okay," he nods, grabs more of Jeonghan's hair and pulls, making Jeonghan let out a hard breath. "Like this?"
"Yeah," Jeonghan nods, mouths at his cock, licks over the vein on the underside of it, teases him. "Harder."
Seungcheol knows what hard means, running his hand through his hair, grabbing at a few different places while Jeonghan takes him deeper and deeper, trying to get comfortable. He's patient though with Jeonghan's exploration, moaning and encouraging him with small little 'yeah's and curses, whispers of Jeonghan's name.
When he looks up, Seungcheol's eyes are closed, his eyebrows furrowed and his lip in his mouth, his hips rolling just a little bit. Jeonghan pulls off.
"Fuck my mouth."
"What?" Seungcheol's eyes shoot open, looking down at him, his hand laying off of his hair.
"Seriously. Do it. I can take it if you're not really rough."
"Oh. Are you sure, angel?"
"Yeah," Jeonghan nods, gets his mouth back on Seungcheol's cock, puts a hand on his thigh so he can dig his nails in or something if he's going too hard, looks up at him.
Seungcheol's hand fists back in his hair, slowly pushing his cock past Jeonghan's lips, looking straight down at him, his mouth open in surprise. Jeonghan knows what kind of picture he makes, and he's not shy with it.
Fuck... it feels different. It feels so different, it's such a new feeling, but Jeonghan actually really likes it. From the feeling of his hair being pulled by Seungcheol, his lips stretched by his cock, the feeling of him pushing in so slow until he hits his throat, and Jeonghan can barely hold back from not choking. It really turns him on, enough for him to get his own hand on himself, quicker than Seungcheol's slow pace, fucking his throat carefully, paced.
"I'm gonna come, angel," Seungcheol rasps out, and Jeonghan nods, makes a sound of approval, feeling when Seungcheol comes, deep in his throat at that.
That is a new sensation, Jeonghan thinks when he does choke a little, Seungcheol pulling out carefully, so he doesn't hurt him even more, even if his expression is alarmed. Jeonghan immediately swallows just so he can breathe again, but he would have anyway.
"Fuck, are you okay?" Seungcheol immediately asks, tilting Jeonghan's face up to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Jeonghan says, but his voice is wrecked. God, it almost sounds good. He's satisfied.
"Come here, let me take care of you," Seungcheol pulls him up and into his lap, replacing Jeonghan's hand with his own, quick and doing just all the right things to get Jeonghan to feel it, hit him where it should.
"Pull my hair," Jeonghan whines, his eyes closed, focused just on the feeling of Seungcheol pulling at his hair, teasing at the tip of his cock. He's so close, so so close it only takes Seungcheol pulling a little harder, rubbing his hand a couple more times for him to come, shuddering in Seungcheol's arms from the pleasure, his nails digging in his shoulders over his shirt.
When he comes back to himself, he's met with Seungcheol's grin, the content, happy one.
"Hi," Jeonghan answers, peeling himself from him. "I feel like I deserve a kiss and a bath for this."
"We only have a shower, but I'll help," Seungcheol chuckles, leans up to kiss him, slow and it would be stupid to say it, but almost happy, smiling on Jeonghan's lips, making him smile too.
"Do I have to hear from gossip circles Choi Seungcheol, the most popular bachelor in our school, has maybe finally settled down? Who is it?" Seungkwan whines at their next group gathering.
Thankfully, Jeonghan passes by him just in time to smack the back of his head.
"Funnily enough, I don't think I was ever the most popular bachelor in our school before, so I'm glad to see my popularity has shot up," Seungcheol chuckles.
Jeonghan has wondered for a bit how to tell their friends. So he's glad he doesn't have to. He can just drop down in Seungcheol's lap on his spot, Seungcheol's arms wrapping around his waist. He sticks his tongue out at Seungkwan too, for good measure.
They all look at them for a few seconds in clear surprise, Jeonghan's smile content, before Soonyoung launches into a weird Soonyoung story, Seokmin egging him on, Jisoo shooting Jeonghan a look he nods at.
His fingers interlock with Seungcheol's on his waist, and all's right with the world.