Actions

Work Header

Avengers on Twitter

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Hey there, Twitter. It’s me, ya boy.

IHeartSpiderman @SpideyStan1

Please don’t let this be a fake account. Please let this actually be Spiderman.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@SpideyStan1 Like I said, it’s me, ya boy. SpideySelfie.jpg

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

WHAT!!??!!

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Oh my god it’s happening. Everybody stay calm!!

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

This might just be the day Twitter crashes. We can only pray now that one of the others show up and confirm…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman I thought we agreed you were gonna stop taking dangerous pictures from the tops of buildings?

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Talk about prayers coming true quick. @AmIThough Did you pray to Thor or something?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Don’t ignore me. I know your notifications are on.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

There was no agreement. You said stop taking dangerous pictures. I said it’s not dangerous.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Tony, you know he’s fine. He thrives on ridiculous heights and humanly impossible balance.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Leave him be, Nat. You know he worries about his boy.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

His boy??!!?? I mean, we’ve all seen them in videos after battles and stuff but is #IronSpider real??!!??

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@DanielPerez No it is not.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@DanielPerez No, it’s not. We’re friends

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

More like, not yet it’s not. #IronSpider

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

rt

Original Spider @BlackWidow

rt

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

rt

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

rt

Thunderstruck @Thor

rt

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

rt

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

rt

Friggason @Loki

rt

 

Clever Name @ActualName

Wow, I can’t believe the Avengers (+ Loki) are shipping trash for #IronSpider.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@ActualName We gotta represent our OTP.

Chapter Text

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Weird question but here we go: What type of dog would all of the Avengers be?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@WeirdQuestion @CaptainAmerica Oh man, Steve is a golden retriever for sure. No explanation needed. GoldenRetriever.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BuckyBarnes And Bucky is definitely a pit-bull. A bit of a bad reputation but really just a marshmallow when you get to know him. PitBull.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BlackWidow Natasha’s a husky. One of those really pretty red ones. She’s Russian which means she thrives on snow. Husky.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye Clint’s a lab. Dependable and friendly and it just feels right. YellowLab.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Falcon Sam’s a German shepherd. He’s protective and loyal and, again, it just feels right. GermanShepherd.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BruceBanner Bruce is a newfoundland. Can be big and intimidating but really just a big ball of fluff. Newfoundland.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Thor Thor’s a Norwegian elkhound. Strong and loyal and brave and (obviously) Norwegian. NorwegianElkhound.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony’s a Boykin spaniel. Intelligent and energetic. Plus, that fur totally matches his hair after he’s been in the lab for hours working on a project. BoykinSpaniel.jpg

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

I’m crying. This is so much better than I hoped for. They’re all just perfect!

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@Spiderman What about you? And Loki?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Loki Loki is definitely a cat. No further explanation required. BlackCat.jpg

Thunderstruck @Thor

These do seem rather accurate. Especially Loki.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

But what about Spidey?!?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman He’s a miniature poodle. MiniPoodle.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

What!?!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

LMAO. Yes! That is perfect!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I’ve never seen anything more accurate.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Shut up Bucky! @IronMan How can you say that? I am not a poodle!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You’re small. You’re cute. You’re intelligent. You’re active.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…Alright, fine. I guess I’m a poodle.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

A MINIATURE poodle.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Shut up, Clint!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Aaaw, it’s even got your curls.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Shut up, Sam!

 

 

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

I’m crying again. It got even better.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

LMAO. Loki IS a cat. I can’t even imagine what dog he could be. All I can picture is cats.

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Man, Tony was ready with that poodle, huh? #IronSpider

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

He called him cute! #OTP #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Let’s focus on what’s really important here people: Spidey has curls?!? That are on par with an actual poodle?!?

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

@KatrinaGranger I know!!! I can not wait for him to finally release his identity and face to the public!!!

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It’s cold outside and I don’t like it.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

If I didn’t love New York so much I’d move somewhere that’s warm year-round.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

You could always move into the tower with the rest of us. It’s warm there.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony. We talked about this. I’m fine. I can take care of myself.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Spidey, do you even have heat right now?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes, actually, I do.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Because you kicked it? Or because it’s actually working for once?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…because I kicked it.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

What do you mean it’s only working because you kicked it?!?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

…excuse me?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

WTF Spidey?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Dude. I knew things were a little rough but are you seriously saying your heat’s not even working?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I said it’s working!!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Yeah for now. How long is that kick gonna last?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I have to agree with Sam and Bucky.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Oh, what a surprise that is.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Shut up Clint. Spidey, it’s 36 degrees outside. That is way too cold for you to be without heat.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I said it’s working! Besides, I have one of those little space heaters for when it stops again.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

…when?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

IF! I MEANT IF!

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Wait, where’d Tony disappear to?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

He’s probably freaking out because his boy’s sitting in a freezing cold apartment.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Or he’s pouting because Spidey said no to moving in again.

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

Actually guys, we’re both in the lab right now and he appears to be ordering fluffy blankets, hoodies, and fuzzy socks.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Three guesses who those are for.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

What?!? @IronMan you don’t have to do that!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I’m not gonna have you sitting in the cold like that. If you won’t move into the nice, HEATED tower, then I can at least do this.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony, I’m fine. It’s not even that cold.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Sweetheart, just let me take care of you.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

 Tony…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Please.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…okay. But I will pay you back.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Nope. Not happening. Also, I’m coming over to see if it’s really “not even that cold”.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony!

 

 

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

OMG. I love those two so much.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

He called him sweetheart!!! My OTP is thriving!!! #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Listen, Tony calling Spiderman sweetheart and trying to take care of him is my new aesthetic.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

@Spiderman move into the tower! Just imagine all the new #IronSpider content we would get if they actually lived together.

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Okay, like, I’m here for the #IronSpider but, like, I’m also legit concerned about Spidey? His apartment is freezing right now!?!

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Same. And not to alarm anyone, but I did some research on spiders (we all know why) and apparently, they can’t thermoregulate. Can Spidey or….?

 

 

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan So, how cold is it? Are we kidnapping Spidey to the tower?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Oh, believe me, we’re already on the way.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

That bad, huh?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I didn’t even know he was on the couch when I walked in! I thought it was just a pile of blankets until he poked his head out. And he was still shivering!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

An accurate representation of Spidey: dogwrappedinblankets.jpg

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Get him over here right now!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I’ll start the hot chocolate.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I’ll get the blankets.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I’ll find us some movies.

 

Clever Name @ActualName

Man, you just gotta love that family dynamic. #AvengersFamily

Chapter Text

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Weird question but here we go: What John Mulaney bit best represents each Avenger?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Amazing question! Hold up, I’ll tell everybody to answer.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Okay everybody’s on their phones. I myself feel most represented by: IAmVerySmall.jpg

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I really feel this one: NewNazis.gif

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Ah, yes. Here I am: YouWantMeToDoWhat.gif

Original Spider @BlackWidow

AllMyEmotionsRightHere.jpg

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Truer words never spoken: CancelingPlans.jpg

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I’ve learned that when you hang around people like this, you just take things as they come. ThisMightAsWellHappen.gif

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

I think this speaks for itself: YouKnowLife.jpg

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

The height’s off, but here I am: JewishBitch.jpg

Thunderstruck @Thor

A lot has happened in the last few years especially… TimeToUnpackAllOfThat.gif

Friggason @Loki

LikeALiar.gif

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman RockingTwink.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony, no!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Tony, yes.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Anthony…

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Oooo, full name. Someone’s in trouble.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Fine. Tony, no. Luckily, I also feel represented by this: HadToStopDrinking.gif

 

 

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Honestly, bless @WeirdQuestion We learn so much about the Avengers because of that account.

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

I’ve never felt so connected to my heroes before…

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

LMAO at Tony’s first choice.

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I love how they apparently all knew he was in trouble as soon as Spidey said ‘Anthony’. #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Confirmed Spidey Facts (Thanks to @WeirdQuestion):

  1. Curly hair on par with a (miniature) poodle
  2. Rocking Twink™

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

I stan one (1) captain!!! #CapForPresident

Clever Name @ActualName

I can’t wait for the next weird question the Avengers answer…

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan How do you feel about cats?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Largely indifferent. Why are you asking?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I’m pretty sure we all have an idea why he’s asking…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman No.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You don’t even know what I was gonna ask!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Oh, but I do. You are not bringing some mangy stray cat into my tower.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Sophia does not have mange!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Great. He’s already named it.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Falcon *her

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Thank you, Bucky.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony, please! I’ve already cleaned her up and fed her and she’s very sweet. She just needs a home and someone to love her.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

…you cleaned her up and fed her? Where?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes? My apartment?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Spidey, your apartment doesn’t allow animals.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah, I know. So, we’re kinda on a time crunch here.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I say yes! She’s cute.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Agreed. I vote yes.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

There is no vote! It’s my tower.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch @Bucky Barnes And you haven’t even seen it!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

*her She's a cat, Tony. All cats are cute.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

He does make a good point though. @Spiderman Show us a picture.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

PleaseTonyPlease.jpg

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

It is cute but I vote no. I’m a dog person.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

All animals need love, Clint!

You Know Who I Am IronMan

There is no vote!

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Now Tony, we all live in the tower. Maybe we should call for a vote…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Shut up, Steve! You’re just saying that because Bucky wants to keep it.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan *her

Friggason @Loki

@Spiderman This creature… I like it.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You do??!!!?? You wanna adopt her, Loki? I’m sure she’d like Norway and you two should get along great!

Friggason @Loki

…I shall be there momentarily.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Did Loki just teleport himself to Spidey’s apartment all the way from Norway?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Probably.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Yes.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@BlackWidow How could you possibly know that for sure? You’re sitting across the room from me.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I just know.

Friggason @Loki

Sophia is absolutely magnificent. @Thor I shall be returning home with a new housemate. Also, @Spiderman you should move into the tower. Or even come to New Asgard if you want.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

My apartment is fine!

Thunderstruck @Thor

@Loki Of course, brother. Whatever makes you happy.

Thunderstruck @Thor

@BruceBanner Elskede, we have a new housemate.

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

Fine by me. I don’t mind cats.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aaaw. :(

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Aaaw. :(

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Thank the gods.

Thunderstruck @Thor

@IronMan You’re welcome.

Friggason @Loki

@IronMan You should be thanking me.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

“All animals need love” Spidey is the softest boi and we stan.

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

@SpideyStan1 We absolutely stan! The number of times that Spidey has come in with a stray he found…

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

LMAO. Poor Tony. He better be thanking the gods that Loki came through or he definitely would have wound up with a cat in the tower. #AvengersFamily

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

I am living for Bucky and Wanda making sure they refer to Sophia as ‘her’ instead of ‘it’!

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

It’s nice to know that Loki will be among his own kind now that he has Sophia.

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

“I just know.” Listen, when I tell you that I got goosebumps. I stan one (1) queen and her name is Natasha.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

Guys, I’m from Norway. I speak Norwegian. Thor calling Bruce ‘elskede’ just made me squeal so loud I scared my own cat. #OTP

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Guys, how bad is Spidey’s apartment? I’ve never seen it but I’m beginning to really think he should move into the tower too…

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Confirmed Spidey facts:

  1. Curly hair on par with a (miniature) poodle
  2. Rocking Twink™
  3. Animal Loving Soft Boi™

Chapter Text

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Do you have time for some quick-fire questions?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@WeirdQuestion Absolutely! What have you got?

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman What’s your favorite scent?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Coconut.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman What’s your least favorite?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Peppermint.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman How old are you?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I’ll give you a range of late 20s to early 30s.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Coke or Pepsi?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I actually don’t do caffeine, but I do like polar bears so Coke.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Beach or Mountains?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Mountains. I’ve never gotten to test my webs on trees…

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Favorite Disney movie?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Oliver and Company.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Favorite Disney princess?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Belle.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Pineapple on pizza?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Subway or Taxi?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Subway.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Boxers or briefs?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Thongs.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Jeans and a t-shirt or a three-piece suit?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Jeans and a t-shirt. The only suit I own is the Spidey suit.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Hogwarts house?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Hufflepuff.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Patronus?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Capuchin monkey.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Can you talk to spiders?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

… Well, this was fun. Gotta go now, bye!

 

 

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Wait, wait, wait. What the hell does that mean? (Also, wow you guys type really fast.)

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

But seriously, what the hell does that last answer mean?!? @Spiderman

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman Spidey, answer the man. Can you talk to spiders?!?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Yeah, I don’t think he’s answering that one. Which worries me for multiple reasons.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Interesting.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

That also worries me for multiple reasons.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Guy, guys, as cool/freaky as the spider thing would be let’s focus on what’s really important:

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman Thongs?!?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes, thongs. Have you seen how tight my suit is?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Well, when you put it like that…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Huh. Interesting.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan You okay there, Tony?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

Witchy Woman @ ScarletWitch

@Spiderman I think you broke him.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Sorry, honey.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Speaking of suits though, @Spiderman Spidey, how do you not own one actual suit?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I avoid all formal events like the plague. I don’t need one.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Spidey, you’re a grown man. You have to own at least one suit.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

On the contrary, I think you’ll find that I actually do not.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You know, I’ve got a tailor…

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony, no.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan You just wanna see him in a suit.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Shut up, Clint. @Spiderman I’ll set you up an appointment, sweetheart.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony…

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Well, this is an argument we’ll be hearing for a while.

 

 

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

Wow, I did not expect all this. About the spider thing though…

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

He called him sweetheart again!! And he called him honey!! #OTP #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

It is a tight suit. I’ve never really thought about it, but thongs make so much sense. Also, LMAO at Tony’s reaction. #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Remember that research on spiders I mentioned? I am wheezing at the fact that Spidey hates peppermint and doesn’t drink caffeine!

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Wow, I can’t wait to read Spidey’s autobiography entitled: Tony, no.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

“I avoid all formal events like the plague.” Big Mood.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Once again, bless @WeirdQuestion We learned so much today!

 

 

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman Seriously man, can you talk to spiders?!?

Chapter Text

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman You know, I’m almost glad you refuse to move into the tower. I don’t know if I could ever be truly comfortable again if you did.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I said I was sorry.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Falcon Do NOT tell him that!! @Spiderman You can move in at any time, sweetheart.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Wait, wait, wait. @Falcon What happened? How could Spidey, of all people, make you uncomfortable?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Do you know how unnerving it is to go into the kitchen at like 4:30 in the morning and see him on the ceiling?!?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yeah.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Yes.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

More than once.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

You get used to it.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I don’t want to get used to it! He was just sitting up in the corner eating dry cereal straight out of the box.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Falcon Look, I said I was sorry. I didn’t expect anyone else to come in.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman What is it with you and dry cereal?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It’s just better that way.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Why were you up at 4:30? You left the lab at like 1:00 and said you were going to sleep.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

And I did. Then I woke up an hour later because I got an idea I just had to work on.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

And this idea couldn’t have waited long enough for you to get an actual night’s sleep?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

You have got to be kidding me.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I can’t believe Tony Stark himself is an actual hypocrite.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@CaptainAmerica @BuckyBarnes I know, right?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I have no idea what those two popsicles are talking about.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I believe they’re talking about the fact that the pot and the kettle are both, in this case, red and gold.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Leave him alone, guys.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Thank you, Clint.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

He’s just worried about his boyfriend. #IronSpider

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Shut up, Clint.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Ignoring Clint like usual, @IronMan I promise I’ll actually sleep tonight if you do.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Fine. I guess you’ll just have to spend the night again so I can make sure you get some sleep.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Good thing your room is ready like always.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan Still holding out hope he’ll eventually just never leave, huh?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Falcon Absolutely.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan It’s not happening, Tony.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman We’ll see.

 

 

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

I’m starting to think that Hawkeye might be captain of the ship… #IronSpider

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Don’t get me wrong, I love Spidey, but walking into your kitchen in the middle of the night and just seeing somebody on the ceiling is straight horror movie material.

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

@AmIThough True, but how many times have they just walked in to find Spidey on the ceiling if they “get used to it”?!?

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

LMAO at the other Avengers calling Tony on his hypocrisy. Only real family doesn’t hesitate like that.  #AvengersFamily

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Aaaw, it might be hypocritical but he just cares!! #IronSpider #OTP

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Dry cereal is better. Except Cap’n Crunch. That stuff will rip your mouth to pieces.

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Who wants to take bets on when Spidey finally moves into Avengers Tower?

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Hey, Twitter, just a heads up: Probably gonna reveal my identity sometime in the next few months.

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

What is happening?!? What is- What is-

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

EverybodyStayCalm.gif

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

StayFckingCalm.gif

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

I swear to Loki if he is screwing with us…

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@Spiderman Are you screwing with us?!?!?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I’m serious, guys.

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

This is sooo not the abandoned timeline! I am ready! I wanna see the face!

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Does this mean he’s moving into the tower? @IronMan Does it?!?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

:)

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

:)

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

MyEmotions.jpg #OTP #IronSpider

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman You forgot the best part. It’s not happening for a few months, so we all get to spend some time teasing all of the internet with who Spidey really is!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Man, he’s gonna be all over the ceilings when he moves in!

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Falcon He’s already all over the ceilings.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

…true.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Falcon Get over it. He’s moving in. Tomorrow.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Fine. @Falcon He’s moving in a few months from now.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Much better, honey.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

They are so cute! Seriously though, they’re not really gonna spend months teasing us with Spidey’s identity, right?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Actually, we’re all looking forward to doing it.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

rt

Original Spider @BlackWidow

rt

Thunderstruck @Thor

rt

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

rt

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

rt

Friggason @Loki

rt

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

rt

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

rt

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

rt

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

rt

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

… there are dark days ahead of us.

Chapter Text

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Me and @Spiderman are marathoning Lost! I’m still very confused but he insists it will start to make sense eventually…

[It’s a picture of someone, clearly male, wearing black leggings and an over-sized red sweatshirt. He’s curled up on a couch with his hands wrapped around a large mug, sweater paws covering every inch of skin. It’s taken from the neck down so you can’t see his face, just the edge of a sharp jawline.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It will! Just give it a few more episodes.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman Don’t lie to her.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman Yeah, you made us watch the whole show and it still never made sense.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Wait a minute… is that… did Spidey make hot chocolate?!? @Spiderman

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…I might have.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

And you didn’t tell us you were making it?!?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You guys all said you were busy!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

We just didn’t want to watch Lost! We didn’t know there was hot chocolate involved!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Well, that’s what you get for lying. No hot chocolate for liars.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I saw Tony heading down to his lab with a mug earlier…

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony didn’t lie. He really was busy with a new project. @IronMan Right?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Right, sweetheart. I should be done in a few days. You and I can watch something then.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Firefly?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

You know me so well.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman Get off your phone and start the next episode!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@ScarletWitch Yes, ma’am.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

And so the teasing starts…

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Is it just me or is there something on his neck? Is that… a tattoo?

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

@AmIThough Nah, I think it’s just the shadows.

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

@SpideyStan1 Yeah, you’re probably right.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Is he seriously wearing an IronMan sweatshirt?!? #IronSpider

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

We can’t even see it all but, WOW, that jawline!

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I would happily cut myself on Spidey’s jaw.

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Aaw, I love how Spidey and Wanda seem to be such good friends! #AvengersFamily

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Bucky and Steve are not wrong. I’ve watched Lost multiple times and I still don’t really know what was going on.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

This is only the first picture. I am not patient enough for all this teasing. #ShowUsTheFace

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Love that #IronSpider made a date to watch Firefly! Seriously though #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman младший брат, I found this under the edge of the couch… LoseSomething.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You found it! I knew it must have fallen off somewhere! I’ve been looking everywhere for it!

Original Spider @BlackWidow

You’ve been feeling off all day, huh?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes! My hand feels so naked without it.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman Wait, you haven’t been to the tower in two days. How long has your ring been missing?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Two days.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Why didn’t you tell us, Spidey? We could have helped look for it.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I just didn’t want to be a bother.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

You’re not a bother! Besides, we all know you love that ring.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Yeah, Spidey. Actually, now that I think about it, since learning your ID and seeing you out of the suit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without that ring on.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

He’s right. I mean, you wear a lot of rings, but you ALWAYS wear that one.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It’s my favorite. I haven’t taken it off in years.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Really? It’s your favorite?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Of course it is, Tony. I mean, how could it not be?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Wait a minute… are you two saying what I think you’re saying?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman Tony gave you that ring, didn’t he?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony gave me that ring.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I bought it right after he told me he was Spiderman.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

He gave you a ring?!? #IronSpider

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman @IronMan How are you two not actually dating?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BlackWidow I’ll swing by after work to pick it up. It really doesn’t feel right to not be wearing it.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

You guys can’t see him, but Tony’s face is so red right now.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

So, Spidey wears a lot of rings? What about other jewelry? #ShowUsTheFace

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

He bought him a ring! And he never takes it off! #OTP #IronSpider

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

I love how they all immediately said they would have helped him look for it because they know it’s important to him. #AvengersFamily

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I cannot get over the fact that Natasha apparently calls Spidey ‘little brother’.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I swear I’ve seen that ring somewhere before…

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Wow, so Spidey’s not even being subtle, is he? I mean, we may not know who he is under the mask, but apparently, he just walks around wearing a spider ring all the time. What a legend.

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

It’s not an engagement ring, but it’s a start! Also, does this mean that Tony knew Spidey before he actually knew he was Spiderman? #IronSpider #ShowUsTheFace

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

@RebeccaLopez Yes, it does! We could figure out how if they would just #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

@Spiderman Do you know him?

[It’s a picture of a small, common house spider sitting in a web.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…What are you doing on Twitter?

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Asking the important questions. Now, do you know him?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

How many times do I have to tell you that I do not know every spider you happen to see?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

And what if someone traces this account to you?

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

You worry too much, Chief. @IronMan made sure our accounts are untraceable.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Anthony Stark…

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Oooo, both names…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Yes, sweetheart? My favorite spider? Wonderful person that I would never hurt or even try to inconvenience in any way?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Not gonna work. We will be having words later. @BabySpiderling Did you say accounts? Plural?

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

@FirstSpiderling @SecondSpiderling Get over here, guys. We’re all in trouble.

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

Yeah, because of you! @Spiderman Sorry, Boss. She wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

@Spiderman It’s true, Boss. She wouldn’t stop until we made the accounts.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Snitches!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

No arguing! @SecondSpiderling @FirstSpiderling Don’t worry, I fully believe you two. Also, what is with these names?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

They seem appropriate to me.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I keep half expecting him to say he’s gonna turn the car around.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Falcon Shut up, Sam!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman So, now that we’ve met your employees on Twitter, when do we get to actually meet them?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

If I’m lucky? Never. I do not need that combined force.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

@Spiderman Aaaw, but we wanna meet the Avengers! I mean, we’ve already kinda met your boyfriend. #IronSpider

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

#IronSpider

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

#IronSpider

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

We’re not dating!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

We are just friends!

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Oh yeah, I wanna meet them…

 

 

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

Well, they’re right about Tony hiding them. You can’t even go to their accounts.

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

So, Spidey has employees? Like, he’s THE boss? What does he do? #ShowUsTheFace

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

There seems to be only three of them. Small business? #ShowUsTheface

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I love that they call themselves ‘spiderlings’! I also love that Tony knew he was in trouble and immediately started flattering Spidey! #SpiderDad #IronSpider

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Okay, but the fact that Spidey automatically knew who it was because they asked if he knew a random spider? Amazing.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Great. Now I wanna know who these people are too. #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Alright, Twitter. We’re taking a vote. Spidey’s Ass or America’s Ass?

[It’s a side by side picture of two people with their backs to the camera. One is clearly Steve Rogers. He’s wearing joggers and a white t-shirt, standing in front of a punching bag. The other, presumably Spiderman, is wearing a pair of tight jeans and a red flannel shirt. He’s in a kitchen and leaning on the counter in front of him, standing on his tiptoes to reach into the cabinet above. His messy brown curls are clearly visible.]

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Bucky! What are you doing?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Sam bet me I wouldn’t do it. So, ha! @Falcon You owe me 10$.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Fine. It’ll be worth it when Tony comes after you for posting Spidey’s ass for everyone to see.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BuckyBarnes Why do you even have these pictures?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Well, I have the Steve picture because I like to look at him. I have the other picture because I think it’s funny when you struggle to reach things.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You know, it’s not like I’m the shortest. I’m taller than both Wanda and Natasha.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Yeah, but we wear heels a lot.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It’s not my fault you guys cheat!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

It’s not cheating when you could wear heels too.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

No, thank you. My feet hurt just looking at some of the shoes you two wear.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Okay, but where is Tony? He should be all over this.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Yeah, where is he? Should I be hiding?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I think you’re safe. He’s been in the lab for a while. He probably hasn’t even looked at Twitter.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan Tony, you alive, man?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Yes, I’m alive. I’m also busy. What do you want?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan Scroll up.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BuckyBarnes Why do you have a picture of Spidey’s ass?!?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@IronMan Did you even read the text? Or did you just see the picture and know it was Spidey right away?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I know that fine ass anywhere.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony!  

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman I’m only speaking the truth. Also, don’t worry about your height, sweetheart. You’re adorable.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Wow. You’re being even more obvious than usual.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@ScarletWitch There’s a reason for that. @IronMan How long have you been awake?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I don’t know. What’s today?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Honey, go to bed. You need to get some sleep.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

One more hour.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Sleep. Now.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Fine. I’ll go to bed.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Thank you. I’ll come by later to make sure you’re actually sleeping.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You know the door is always open for you, sweetheart.

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

My shipper heart can NOT take this! I mean, Tony knows his ass as soon as he sees it then they turn around and act so sweet!?! #OTP #IronSpider

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

“I like to look at him” I’m gay and I agree with that statement. I mean, damn. #AmericasAss #Stucky

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

The curls! He really is like a miniature poodle! #ShowUsTheFace

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Have you guys checked the poll? Spidey’s winning and I can’t argue but Cap still makes a pretty picture. That shoulder to waist ratio… #CaptainDorito

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Look at that ass! Are jeans even allowed to be that tight? Now if we could just see his face… #SpideysAss #ShowUsTheFace

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

Aaaw, Tony got so protective over Bucky having that picture! #IronSpider

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Door’s always open, huh? Is that a bedroom door? ;) #IronSpider #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

Friggason @Loki

I brought Sophia with me to visit Avengers Tower and she immediately abandoned me for Spidey.

[It’s a picture of someone, presumably Spiderman, smiling with his head turned to the side and his eyes scrunched closed as Sophia rubs her head against his cheek. The angle means you can’t actually see his face, but the now familiar brown curls are easy to see. You can also see a small silver hoop in his earlobe with a red stud above it and a blue stud above that.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Loki I’m sorry your cat likes me so much.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

You are not.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Liar.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

You haven’t put her down since they got here.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…yeah, I’m not sorry. She’s so cuddly!

Friggason @Loki

@Spiderman I’m sure I shall get over this betrayal eventually.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I want one. @IronMan

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Me too. @IronMan

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I don’t think it would hurt anything to have a cat around the tower. @IronMan

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch @BuckyBarnes No! There will be no animals in this tower. @CaptainAmerica And you are literally only agreeing because Bucky wants one.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@IronMan Yes. I am.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@CaptainAmerica Thank you, Steve.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman When are you telling everyone who you are and moving into the tower?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Still a few months from now. Why?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Who wants to bet that at least one animal moves into the tower right after Spidey does?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Ha! That’s a sucker’s bet and you know it.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Man, we all know it.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan You know, I have spent years in an apartment that doesn’t allow pets…

You Know Who I Am @Spiderman

@Spiderman …we’ll see, sweetheart.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

That means yes.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Tony is so whipped. #IronSpider

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

The earrings! The curls! The cat! This picture is just all around a masterpiece. If only it included a whole face… #ShowUsTheFace

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Once again, he’s not even being subtle! He walks around wearing not only a spider ring but earrings in his own colors! The man is a legend.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

Aw yes, I am so happy to see Sophia again. My new favorite Avenger right there.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Somebody please get Bucky and Wanda a cat!

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

@LucilleSanders Don’t worry, I’m sure Spidey’s got them as soon as he moves in.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Tony is absolutely whipped and it’s adorable! #IronSpider

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Let’s be real here, it’s not just Tony that’s whipped. Steve definitely is too. #IronSpider #Stucky #ShowUsTheFace

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Someone please explain why I love the fact that Spidey’s ears are pierced so much?!? What if he has more?!? I really need to see a face! #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

[It’s a video of Natasha and Spiderman in what seems to be a private dance studio. Natasha’s wearing a black leotard and black tights with classic pink ballet shoes, her hair pulled up. Spidey’s wearing black leggings and a light gray hoodie with red and blue ballet shoes. The two of them are dancing in perfect sync and look like they should be on a stage in front of thousands. The camera slowly pans to show Tony, who is watching with bright red cheeks, a look of unfiltered awe and adoration on his face. There’s no doubt which dancer his eyes are on.]

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Wow. I mean, I knew they could dance, but…wow.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Yes! Look at my best friends go!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

LMAO. Look at poor Tony.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BuckyBarnes Don’t be mean.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@BuckyBarnes He didn’t say a word the whole time they were dancing. I don’t think he was even breathing. #IronSpider

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Lies and slander.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Are you really gonna deny it when we have video evidence?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

…I plead the fifth.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Oh.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman You alright, Spidey?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman You honestly didn’t notice how he was looking at you, did you младший брате?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…I plead the fifth.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

You have got to be kidding me.

Witchy Woman @Scarlet Witch

They really are perfect for each other.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You were beautiful, sweetheart.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Thank you, honey.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Spidey’s cheeks are redder than his suit right now.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Oh. My. God. This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen! Yet somehow, we still can’t see who he is… #ShowUsTheFace

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

Tony has definitely messed with this video. Any time you try to pause it and zoom in on his face it just gets blurrier and blurrier. He’s protecting his boy! #ShowUsTheFace #IronSpider

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

The way Tony is looking at him… #IronSpider #OTP

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

As a ballerina, I just- I can’t- oh my- ItsSoBeautiful.gif

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

“Look at my best friends go!” Spidey, Natasha, and Wanda are the trio I didn’t know I needed!

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Pleading the fifth rather than admit to something. Big Mood. #IronSpider

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

I just wanna know who he is!!! #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

Place your bets.

[It’s a picture of two locked hands, ready to arm wrestle. One clearly belongs to Thor as you can see Mjolnir on his broad forearm. The other person, presumably Spidey, is wearing a blue flannel shirt so you can’t see any skin on his arm. Thor’s hand is big enough that it mostly covers Spidey’s, but you can clearly tell that there’s some kind of ink on his hand and fingers; you just can’t tell what it is. He’s not wearing his rings and his dark nail polish is chipped.]

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

My money’s on Spidey.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Falcon Seriously, man? I know Spidey’s strong, but Thor is literally a god.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

We’ve seen Spidey catch moving vehicles with no problem. Why would I not bet on him?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye Technically, he’s an alien.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@CaptainAmerica That may be true, but he’s not known as the Alien of Thunder. He’s known as the God of Thunder.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I’m staying out of this one.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Me too. I mean, they’re both way too strong to really believe anyway.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Why is this even a question? Obviously, Spidey is gonna win.

The Other Guy @Brucebanner

@IronMan What do you mean obviously? Yeah, Spidey’s strong, but he’s not Thor.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BruceBanner Don’t underestimate him just because he’s small.

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

@IronMan I’m not, but Thor has held his own against Hulk on multiple occasions!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BruceBanner We’ve tested Spidey’s strength in the lab! We had to stop after 10 tons because that’s all I had!

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman You can lift 10 tons? Maybe more?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah.

Thunderstruck @Thor

That is truly impressive, Spidey! Especially for a mortal.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman But you’re so small?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I mean, a radioactive spider bit me. What are you gonna do?

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

@Spiderman What else did the bite do? How much have you tested?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I did every test I could possibly think of after I was bitten.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

You know, we’ve talked about things, but I never have gotten to see all that data…

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan I’ll collect all the data and bring it by the lab for you, honey. You and @BruceBanner can both take a look.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

They just high-fived. They look as excited as little kids in a candy shop.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Mention science and all arguments about who has a stronger boyfriend stop. #ScienceBros

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Spidey’s hand is tattooed?!? I can’t make out what it is… #ShowUsTheFace

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

@SpideyStan1 Remember that first picture Wanda posted? I don’t think that was a shadow on his neck… #ShowUsTheFace

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Bruce and Tony defending their boyfriends’ strength gives me life! #IronSpider #Thruce

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love how Spidey doesn’t even question giving Tony (and Bruce) all that data about him/his powers! #IronSpider #ScienceBros

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

The tattoo(s)! The nail polish! I love everything about this!

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Yes, I love that Spidey’s nails are painted, but he needs to clean that up. Look at all those chips!

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Listen. I know #IronSpider is THE ship but I’m calling it now: Spidey is bi. That’s the only explanation for all the flannel shirts he apparently owns and wears.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

He has tattoos on his hand. He might have one on his neck. Guys, I think I know why he’s always wearing long sleeves in all the pictures… #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Which Avengers have tattoos? How many?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@WeirdQuestion …yeah, I was kinda expecting this one. I’ll tell everybody to answer.

Thunderstruck @Thor

I have one that you have all seen.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I have one.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I have one.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@CaptainAmerica Same.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I think you all have seen the one I have on my calf.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan @Spiderman Well? You two are oddly silent…

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan @Spiderman Yeah, fess up.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Fine. I have one.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan You have one that none of us have ever seen.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman Spidey? We’re waiting.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…I have some.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Is ‘some’ what you’re going with?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…there’s no need to get into specifics.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Man, I can not wait until he finally reveals his identity.

 

 

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

‘Some’, huh? #ShowUsTheFace #ShowUsTheInk

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

That was definitely not a shadow on his neck… #ShowUsTheFace #ShowUsTheInk

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

@SpideyStan1 I know!!! What do you think the tattoo is? #ShowUsTheFace #ShowUsTheInk

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

How many does he have?!? #ShowUsTheInk

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

So, Tony has a tattoo they’ve never seen. Who wants to bet Spidey’s seen it? #IronSpider

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

The Black Widow has a tattoo… I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m not screaming or anything.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

So, if Spidey’s (apparently) got a lot of tattoos… and that’s probably why we always see him with long sleeves… what does he do when he’s not in the suit? #ShowUsTheFace #ShowUsTheInk

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

@Falcon I, too, can not wait for the reveal. #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I am not prepared for this to become an even more regular thing when he moves in.

[It’s a picture of Spiderman with his feet planted on the ceiling, hanging upside down and rummaging through a kitchen cabinet, the open door hiding his face. He’s wearing faded jeans and a black hoodie. Gravity is pulling his hoodie and shirt down which means you can clearly see that there’s a colorful tattoo down the side of his ribcage. It’s a beautiful collection of flowers: lilies, roses, daisies, mayflowers, poppies, and more.]

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman Oh, we’re going big now? You must be close to that reveal.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman I love that this is your solution to being short.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BuckyBarnes Shut up, Bucky! @Hawkeye Yeah, we’re getting close.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

We actually haven’t seen this one before.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Yeah, we’ve only really seen your arms and some of your chest.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I mean, unless you see me basically naked, you’ll never see all of them, so…

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

No offense but no thanks, Spidey.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Yeah, I’m sure most of us will pass. Emphasis on most of us. @IronMan

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Falcon Shut up, Sam. @Spiderman This is one of my favorites.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan I have noticed that you tend to favor color over black and whites.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Don’t get me wrong, I love all of them. They’re all a part of you, sweetheart.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Spidey’s not even here right now, but I know he’s completely red.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Honestly, at this point it’s just getting ridiculous. #IronSpider

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Hawkeye It really is. #IronSpider

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Oh. My. God. It’s absolutely beautiful! If he’d have to be basically naked to see them all then he must be covered! #ShowUsTheFace

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Sooo, how many has Tony seen? #IronSpider

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

“Yeah, we’re getting close.” I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m not nearly hyperventilating or anything. #ShowUsTheFace

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

I love how all the other Avengers are, at this point, completely done with Tony and Spidey. #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Someone please explain why I love the fact that Spidey is apparently covered in tattoos so much?!? #ShowUsTheFace

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Guys, I just- I can’t wait for the reveal! I just know that he’s pretty, you know? #ShowUsTheFace

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

@EthanyWithaB I know! We haven’t even seen his face, but I just feel like pretty is the right word! #ShowUsTheFace

 

 

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@LucilleSanders It is.

Chapter Text

Thunderstruck @Thor

I live in Norway and I still get headaches dealing with how oblivious these two are.

[It’s a side picture of Tony and Spidey. Tony is sitting on a couch with a tablet in one hand, gesturing with the other. Spidey is leaning over the back of the couch with his arms wrapped around Tony’s shoulders, seemingly nodding along with whatever Tony’s saying. He’s wearing a black and gray flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The angle means you can clearly see the ink covering his arms but it’s not close enough to make out exactly what it is.]

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

He’s not wrong.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Thor @BruceBanner You’re not the ones that are gonna have to literally live with it.

Friggason @Loki

If you would just take my suggestion, we could fix this.

Thunderstruck @Thor

@Loki I told you we are not doing that.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Wait, what was his suggestion?

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

He wanted to hit them with some kind of truth spell and lock them in a room together.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I’m game. I mean, they sat like that for way too long to be so oblivious.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Yeah. Let’s do it. We can finally end all our suffering.

Friggason @Loki

@Thor @BruceBanner See? They approve.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Yeah… we’re not gonna do that. @Loki I feel like there are a lot of moral issues with basically drugging them to confess.

Friggason @Loki

Well, I mean, if you’re gonna worry about things like morals then, yeah, it’s not the best idea…

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Don’t worry, boys. I have a feeling it won’t be too much longer until they figure things out…

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Well, that’s a little ominous.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Wait, where even are they? They should be stammering out their denials by now.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@ScarletWitch They’re at Spidey’s apartment packing.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Wow, I guess the reveal is soon, huh?

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Look at them!!! And he’s helping him pack?!? Spidey’s moving in!!!  #OTP #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

The arms! I can’t make out what it is, and it won’t let me zoom… Tony has definitely messed with this picture. #IronSpider #ShowUsTheFace

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Guys, if he’s packing and moving in, then the reveal really is soon!!! #ShowUsTheFace

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

It is happening people!! Now, the question remains: will he be getting his own room or sharing Tony’s? #IronSpider #ShowUsTheFace

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

@ImNotAEvenACheerleader More than likely his own room. I mean, they still seem very deep in denial. #IronSpider

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

“I mean, if you’re gonna worry about things like morals” I stan Loki so much! That is just such a Mood™.

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

A moment of silence for the suffering of the Avengers who must watch those oblivious dorks from up close and personal. #IronSpider

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

I can’t wait to see his face and his tattoos!! #ShowUsTheFace #ShowUsTheInk

Chapter Text

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Well, Peter’s all moved in and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Tony so happy.

[It’s a picture of Tony leaning back against the kitchen island, grinning wide. Though you can’t actually see what he’s looking at, there’s no doubt that it’s Spidey.]

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Woah, we’re using his name now?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman Just how close is the big reveal?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

:)

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I know who he is and I’m still excited!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Uh, guys? Does anyone know what Tony’s up to?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@ScarletWitch What do you mean, Wanda?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

He just jumped up all of a sudden and said he had to go get something. @Spiderman Peter, what’s he doing?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

For once, I have no idea. He said something about a ‘housewarming’ gift and told me not to move.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman If it’s what I think it is, you’re gonna love it. @BuckyBarnes @ScarletWitch So are you two.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I’m not even surprised that Natasha apparently knows what’s going on.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

He didn’t…

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Wow. That was even quicker than I thought he’d cave.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

We have a name!! This is not a drill, people. I repeat, we have a name!! #ShowUsTheFace

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

He got him (Peter!) a cat, didn’t he?!? As soon as he moved in?!? #IronSpider

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

*frantically searches how many men named Peter live in New York City*

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I love how nobody questions that Natasha just knows what’s going on. Also, we have a name!! #ShowUsTheFace

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

He’s moved in!!! That reveal has got to be any day now… #ShowUsTheFace

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

I swear, if Spidey (Peter!) posts a picture of a cat I am gonna cry! #IronSpider #ShowUsTheFace

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Thank you, honey! Everybody meet Jenny!

[It’s a picture of a fluffy calico cat laying on somebody’s crossed legs. They’re wearing tight jeans and a pair of flowery Doc Martens. Jenny has her eyes closed as the person she’s laying on, obviously Peter, rubs down her back. You can clearly see the silver rings on his fingers and the red rose, with golden edges, on the back of his hand.]

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You’re welcome, sweetheart.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

She’s so cute!!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman Peter, you should have moved in way sooner.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan You are so whipped! He hasn’t even been living in the tower for a full day yet!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Shut up, Clint.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

That doesn’t really work when you’re still bright red from the hug Peter gave you when he saw the cat.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye @Falcon Leave him alone you two.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye @Falcon Yeah, don’t act like you two weren’t cooing over #IronSpider when it happened.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BlackWidow That’s not really helping, Nat.

Friggason @Loki

@Spiderman I shall have to bring Sophia to visit again so they can meet.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Loki Yes! Kitty playdate!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

This is the best timeline!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@ScarletWitch It really is.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@IronMan It’s a good thing you got him a female cat otherwise I have a feeling we’d be overrun with kittens within the year.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@CaptainAmerica That’s why I made sure to get a female.

 

 

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

I was right. I am crying. He got him a cat!! #IronSpider

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

We knew what was happening as soon as @IronMan came in. Jenny was actually a stray that @Spiderman himself brought in last week. We know she’ll have a good home at Avengers Tower!

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

“kitty playdate” He is such a cinnamon roll!!!

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

That rose is so pretty!! And very distinctive I’m sure… #ShowUsTheFace

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

That rose is red and gold!! I repeat, it is red and gold!!! #IronSpider

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

I, for one, would love to see Sophia and Jenny together.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Oh. My. God. I know those boots and that tattoo…

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

@ImNotInvisible What?!? You know who he is?!? Tell us! #ShowUsTheFace

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@AvengersStan No, I’m gonna let him handle his reveal. I just- oh my- he’s a- I got- I knew I recognized that spider ring from somewhere!

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

@ImNotInvisible You hold such knowledge. Are you okay? #ShowUsTheFace

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@RebeccaLopez You’ll understand my shock after the reveal.

Chapter Text

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Twitter, let me introduce you to Peter Parker AKA @Spiderman

[It’s a picture of Peter sitting at a table in what appears to be Tony’s lab. He’s got an open sketchbook in front of him and a pencil in his tattooed hand, spider ring, and others, clearly visible. His free hand is brushing a stray curl out of his face and he’s grinning wide at whoever’s behind the camera, presumably Tony. You can see the silver stud in the side of his nose and the small spider, with web, tattooed on his neck. He’s wearing a Queen t-shirt, meaning his tattooed arms are on full display.]

 

 

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

‘Pretty’ was definitely the right word!!! Look at that face!!!

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

@LucilleSanders It really is!! I just- oh my god.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

I just looked him up… Are you telling me this precious little cinnamon roll is a tattoo artist and body piercer??!!??

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@AstridHaugen Yes, he is! Guys, @Spiderman is the one that tattooed my arm! And my leg! AthenaTattoo.jpg FlowerTattoo.jpg

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

He owns his own shop! Here’s the link to their Instagram. Spider’sParlor

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Are you kidding me?!? He wears a spider ring all the time, he has a spider tattooed on his neck, he wears jewelry in his suit’s colors, and his shop is literally called Spider’s Parlor Tattoos and Piercings?!? What an absolute legend!!!

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

@NotAConstructionWorker Absolutely! The nerve of this man! I mean, this puts him right up there with Tony ‘I am Iron Man’ Stark. They really are perfect together. #IronSpider

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

@Spiderman You volunteer here?!?

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Oh my god. Guys, @Spiderman pierced my nipple!! I don’t know what to do with this information.

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Guys go check out the Spider’s Parlor Instagram! The artwork is so good! Also, this explains why his employees called themselves ‘spiderlings’.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Why do I love the fact that @Spiderman is a tattoo artist and piercer so much?!?

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Yo, @Spiderman gave me this!! WritingTattoo.jpg

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

What! I have an appointment with @SecondSpiderling next week!!

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

I got my tongue pierced by @Spiderman!!!

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

No wonder Tony called him pretty! Can we just imagine Tony Stark, all dressed up in one of his suits, next to Peter Parker, in jeans and a band shirt with all his tattoos and piercings?!? #OTP #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

I don’t know what I was expecting, but this was not it. I couldn’t have imagined this in my wildest dreams. This is so cool!

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

I suddenly have the need to get a tattoo… in New York…

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Wait. Wait. Wait. Remember how Thor just showed up one day with Mjolnir on his arm? And how a lot of the other Avengers said they have tattoos? And how Tony has one they’ve never seen but they all implied that Spidey (Peter Parker!) has?

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

@RebeccaLopez Spidey tattooed the Avengers! It makes so much sense now! Do you think they’ll show us their tattoos now that they can tell us who did them?

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

@SpideyStan1 God, I hope they do! Especially Tony. What is it? Where is it?!?

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

I have never wished that I lived in New York City more than now…

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Alright, I checked out that Instagram page and, I’m not gonna lie, @FirstSpiderling and @BabySpiderling can both get it. I mean, damn.     

I’m Not Wearing Khakis @JakeFromNotStateFarm

Oh no. @Spiderman is the one that gave me my piercing last month.

Clever Name @ActualName

@JakeFromNotStateFarm What do you mean ‘oh no’? That’s so cool!!

I’m Not Wearing Khakis @JakeFromNotStateFarm

@ActualName You don’t understand. It’s a Prince Albert.

Clever Name @ActualName

@JakeFromNotStateFarm I had to look up what that was. RIP

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@JakeFromNotStateFarm Yeah, I remember that. How’s it healing?

I’m Not Wearing Khakis @JakeFromNotStateFarm

@Spiderman It’s, uh, it’s healing great, thanks.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@JakeFromNotStateFarm Good to hear! Remember to keep it clean! Also, don’t worry, man. I’ve been doing this for over ten years. You’re not the first intimate piercing I’ve done.

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I am absolutely cackling! I love how that was the one post he responded to!

 

 

 

Starker Playlist

Chapter Text

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Alright, now that you guys know who @Spiderman is, we’ve decided to show off some of his stuff because he’s humble or something and doesn’t do it nearly enough.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

@FirstSpiderling @SecondSpiderling I say we each pick one from his art folder.

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

I’ve always loved this one. TreeDrawing.jpg

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

This one’s great. RoseDrawing.jpg

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

And I like this one! HeartDrawing.jpg

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

What are you three doing?

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

We’re bragging on your behalf, Boss.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Well, stop it. Two of you have appointments within the hour. Get back to work.

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

Sí, Boss.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Sure thing, Chief!

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

Alright, Boss.

 

 

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I know he’s a good artist, but sometimes I just see something he’s done and, wow, you know?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch Believe me, I know.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

You know, we’ve got that blank wall in the living room…

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

You think we can get him to paint it?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I mean, if we get @IronMan to ask, we’re almost guaranteed he’ll say yes.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

…I’ll mention it tonight.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Alright, so, Peter’s painting the living room wall.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@BuckyBarnes Pretty much, yeah.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Aaww, it’s so cute how the spiderlings are bragging for him!

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Okay, but, looking at that Instagram, he really is an amazing artist.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Look at that tree!! How long did those branches take?!?

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love how they all know they can get Spidey to do things by making Tony ask. #IronSpider

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

God, I hope he paints that wall!! I wanna see it!!

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

I really want a tattoo now…

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

And to think, he originally didn’t even want a cat in the tower. @IronMan

[It’s a picture of Tony working in his lab. He’s leaning back against a table with a hologram schematic open in front of him. Jenny is sitting on the table, leaning against him and clearly demanding attention. He’s manipulating the hologram with one hand only because the other is occupied with petting her.]

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I didn’t ask to be called out like this.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@IronMan You didn’t have to ask. We all know you love that cat.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

To be fair, we all love Jenny.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Well, obviously. She’s great.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I’m still a dog person, but she’s not bad. She’s not a dog, but she’s not bad.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan See, aren’t you glad you’re so whipped and got him a cat?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Shut up, Sam.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You know, Clint’s right. Dogs are great too…

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman No, Peter.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan I’m not saying right now. It’s just something to think about for the future.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Alright! We’re getting a dog at some point!

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye He didn’t say yes, Clint.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Steve. Come on.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

We all know he’s gonna say yes.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

…Alright, yeah. We’re getting a dog at some point.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye @Falcon @BuckyBarnes @CaptainAmerica Shut up.

 

 

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

No one is immune to an animal’s charm. Not even the Avengers.

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

So, how long do we think it’s gonna be before they get a dog?

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

@RebeccaLopez Definitely within the year.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Tony is so whipped for him!! Also, was I the only one that squealed when Peter literally started making plans with Tony ‘for the future’?!? #OTP #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I love how Peter just seems to be casually planning to fill Avengers Tower with animals and everybody is apparently on board with it. (Even Tony, he just won’t admit it.) #AvengersFamily

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

@IronMan @Spiderman We have plenty of dogs ready to adopt! When should we be expecting you?

Chapter Text

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I’m happy to announce that @Spiderman now owns an actual suit.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I’m not so happy about it.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You only have to wear it for one night, sweetheart.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman You clean up well, младший брат.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

This is gonna be great!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I know! He already hates it so much!

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BuckyBarnes @Falcon Stop it, you two.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman Don’t worry, Peter. I’m sure everything will be fine.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Hawkeye What are you up to?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Nothing! I’m just saying that I’m sure @IronMan will love it. #IronSpider

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Shut up, Clint.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Shut up, Clint.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I have a really good feeling about this event…

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

A couple that tells friends to shut up together, stays together. #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Woah! I can not wait to see Spidey in a suit!! What event are they going to?!?

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

@SpideyStan1 They’ve got that fundraiser coming up!

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

God, I love it every time Natasha calls him ‘little brother’!

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Do you think it’s gonna be like a full tux or what?!?

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpider

@ImNotEvenACheerleader Not a chance. It’ll be enough of a struggle to get him out of jeans.

Chapter Text

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Guess who just won a bet? #IronSpider

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Honestly, I really should know better than to bet against you by now.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

We all should.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I ain’t even mad. At least somebody won. Our suffering is over. #IronSpider

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

rt

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

rt

Thunderstruck @Thor

rt

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

rt

Friggason @Loki

rt

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

rt

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

rt

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@IronMan @Spiderman Boys? You two wanna chime in?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

#IronSpider

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

#IronSpider

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I am crying!!! It finally happened!!! I will go down with this ship!!! #OTP #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

They confirmed the #IronSpider!!! I can’t say I’m surprised it finally happened, I mean, did you see those pictures of Spidey last night?!?

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

I love that not only are they actually together now, but the other Avengers apparently had a bet going. #IronSpider #AvengersFamily

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Yes! Yes! Yes! #IronSpider

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Is anyone even surprised that Natasha won the #IronSpider bet they had going?

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

@DanielPerez Absolutely not.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Finally! #OTP #IronSpider

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

@SecondSpiderling @BabySpiderling About the bet we had… #IronSpider

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

@FirstSpiderling @BabySpiderling I’ll take cash, please. #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

LMAO. Were all of their friends betting on them?

Chapter Text

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

He can cook?!? @Spiderman

[It’s a picture of Peter standing in front of the stove and stirring something in a large pan. Tony is standing behind him with one hand on his hip, the other reaching for something on the counter. Peter is looking at Tony over his shoulder, glaring lightly at him for stealing ingredients but obviously trying not to smile. Jenny can be seen twisting around their legs.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I guess? Yeah?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

There’s no guess about it, sweetheart.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman I’m confused too. I’ve seen you eat. I thought you just lived off junk food.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman Yeah, I mean, you literally had a box full of Ramen and takeout menus when you moved in.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Just because I can cook doesn’t mean I do it often.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman @IronMan Is it a genius thing? You both do it.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Maybe. It’s quicker and easier to just order something when you’re busy.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

True. I mean, I’ve still got one hand to work with if I have chopsticks in the other.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

That cannot be healthy.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman I can’t believe you can cook, and you never told me.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@IronMan And you knew!

You Know Who I Am @Ironman

Of course I knew.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I just, I feel lied to.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

So do I.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I didn’t lie!

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman How could you not tell us you can cook like this?!?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I didn’t know I needed to! Why is this so surprising? Cooking and baking are basically just chemistry.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

You can bake too?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…no.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

They’re never gonna let him leave the kitchen again.

 

 

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Peter is really 31 years old and apparently eats like a college student. We stan.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Awww, I love how Tony seemed low-key offended they would think there was something about Peter he didn’t know. #IronSpider

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

“a box full of Ramen and takeout menus” Why is this literally me moving out of my dorm?

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

“Is it a genius thing?” Yo, how smart is Spidey? I mean, is he literally a genius too?

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

@MyOldFriend I don’t know IQ or anything, but his Wiki page says he graduated top of his class from Midtown School of Science and Technology, which is, WOW.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Ah, yes. The struggle of trying to cook while someone steals ingredients. I know it well.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Okay, I don’t think I was truly prepared for how much cuter #IronSpider would be once it actually happened. Look at them! They look so domestic! #OTP

Chapter Text

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@Spiderman Weird question but here we go: What songs would all of the Avengers be?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@WeirdQuestion I can give you my ringtones for each of them.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony is, of course, Iron Man by Black Sabbath.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BlackWidow Natasha is Killer Queen by Queen.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@CaptainAmerica Steve is Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BuckyBarnes Bucky is Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Falcon Sam is Lean On Me by Bill Withers.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye Clint is Take It Easy by The Eagles.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BruceBanner Bruce is Life Is a Lemon by Meatloaf.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Thor Thor is Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Loki Loki is Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@ScarletWitch Wanda is Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac.

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

This is amazing, but what about @Spiderman? Does everybody have ringtones for him?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

… I honestly don’t know.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@WeirdQuestion @Spiderman We do. It’s split between Everyday Superhero by Smash Mouth and one person with Radioactive by Imagine Dragons.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan You’re the one who chose Radioactive, aren’t you?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Sweetheart, I couldn’t let that opportunity pass. Besides, you literally set mine as Iron Man.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah, alright. Fair enough, honey.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Okay, so, I love all of this, but can we just talk about how the Avengers collectively chose Everyday Superhero for Spidey? That is absolutely perfect!

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

So, Peter and Tony have the same taste in music. I can’t believe they’re one of those couples who probably never have to argue about the aux cord. #IronSpider

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I love how Wanda’s is a song by Stevie Nicks AKA the original Witchy Queen™ herself.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love that Peter immediately knew Tony was the one with Radioactive. #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Get you a friend that takes the time to individually set ringtones. #AvengersFamily

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Okay, these are all great, but where’s my @Falcon appreciation?!? I mean, it says a lot for his personal ringtone to be set as Lean On Me.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Honestly, if it was me, I’d just use that spider bite as an excuse for anything. “Sorry, can’t, a radioactive spider bit me.”

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

@AvengersStan I mean, I gotta wonder about that though. Like, how did that happen? Where does one even find a radioactive spider?

Chapter Text

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman What have you been doing?!?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

What do you mean?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Peter, you and your clothes are covered in paint.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

You also look like you haven’t slept.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@CaptainAmerica I was painting. @BlackWidow That’s because I haven’t.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

What do you mean you haven’t slept?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch He already said he was painting.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

How does that translate into not sleeping?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Look, when inspiration hits, it hits. I was working all night. I didn’t have time for sleep.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Does this… happen often?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It happens when it happens. Just like @IronMan when he spends whole nights in his lab.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman @IronMan Why does it sound like you two have some kind of system worked out for this?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

We do. It’s been perfected over the years.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

What do you do if it happens at the same time for both of you?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…that actually hasn’t happened.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

You two have known each other for 14 years and that’s never happened?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Not to my knowledge. @IronMan Honey?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Not to mine either.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

To be fair, it probably will now that we’ve asked.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman @IronMan What do we do if it does happen?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Mainly just try to make sure we don’t dehydrate or anything.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Please make sure to leave any drinks for me in a mug that looks very different from the one I’ve got my paint water in.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman So, how many times…?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Too many times.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

LMAO. “Too many times.” Poor Spidey.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

14 years?!? They’ve known each other for 14 years?!? Also, I love that they have a system worked out to take care of each other!!! #OTP #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

I love how Tony just automatically knows what Peter means when he says he was painting. #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I really felt that with the ‘paint water’. It’s never fun when that happens.

Clever Name @ActualName

Aaww, I wanna see Peter all covered in paint!

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

So, does this mean Peter was just casually walking around Avengers Tower covered in paint…?

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

If inspiration is gonna hit them at the same time, then it’s a good thing they all live in the same building. #AvengersFamily

Chapter Text

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

We jinxed them. They didn’t even make it back to their room before they crashed.

[It’s a picture of Tony and Peter sleeping on a couch, obviously exhausted. Tony’s wearing a black tank top and worn out jeans with grease and oil smeared on his arms and face, his hair a complete mess. Peter’s wearing holey jeans and a t-shirt that was once plain white but is now covered in different colors of paint. His face and hands are similarly colored, the paint blending with his tattoos. He’s laying on Tony’s chest with one hand resting directly over his heart. Tony has both arms wrapped around him with one of his hands lightly tangled in messy curls.]

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I knew we shouldn’t have asked.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

How long were they even awake?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I don’t know. Most of us were on that mission. @ScarletWitch How long were they awake?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Around 36 hours or so.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Seriously? What were they even working on?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

We don’t really know. When we asked, Tony techno-babbled something and Peter just kinda waved us off.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Should we wake them up so they can go to bed or move them or…?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Leave them there. They need to sleep.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I can’t believe they managed 14 years without this happening.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Well, it wouldn’t have happened at all if someone hadn’t jinxed them. @Hawkeye

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

How was I supposed to know this would happen?!?

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Look at them!!! They look so cute together!!! #OTP #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Okay, but apparently their inspiration completely synced? Like, they crashed at the same time, right? #IronSpider

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

I love how they all just accept ‘techno-babble’ as a legitimate term to describe Tony Stark talking.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

“move them” Cap was fully prepared to carry two grown men to bed. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. #AvengersFamily

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

@MyOldFriend Get you the kinda friend… #AvengersFamily

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

I’ll say they need sleep. The shadows under their eyes are darker than my eyeliner!

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

I wonder if Spidey accidently drank paint water again?

Chapter Text

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Honestly, they’re just too much sometimes. #IronSpider

[It’s a picture of Tony and Peter dancing together in the middle of the lab. Tony has his hands on Peter’s hips while Peter has his arms around Tony’s neck, lightly crossed at the wrists. They’re completely focused on each other, eyes locked and wearing soft smiles.]

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

They really are adorable, aren’t they?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

They are. It’s almost sickening sometimes, really.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Falcon Leave them alone, Sam. Just be happy they’re finally together.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Falcon He’s right. Remember what it was like when they were just endlessly pining.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I know. I know. I’m just saying that Clint’s right. Sometimes they’re a little much.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

They didn’t even notice me come into the lab. They were still exactly like that when I left.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye What were they even dancing to this time?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

It was Future Days by Pearl Jam.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aaaww! First dance song, I’m calling it!

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BlackWidow Wait, this time?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@BlackWidow Have they done this before?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Definitely. I mean, I only walked in on it once before, but it’s probably happened more.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@BlackWidow Was it an equally romantic song?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

From a certain perspective, I guess. It was You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

…they were slow dancing to AC/DC?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Yes.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye Given who we’re talking about, are you even really surprised?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

You know what, no. I’m actually not surprised at all.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Alright, as sickening as it can be sometimes, they really are perfect for each other. #IronSpider

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I’m actually crying!!! This really is THE ship guys!!! #OTP #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

They really are actual couple goals. #IronSpider

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

“first dance song” Wanda is really out here planning an #IronSpider wedding.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@RebeccaLopez We can only hope it will happen one day. I mean, talk about the real royal wedding. #IronSpider

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Looking at this, at the way they’re looking at each other, I only have one question: How did it take them 14 years to get together?!?

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Slow dancing to AC/DC. Absolute legends. #IronSpider

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I had to look up Future Days and am now honest to god crying. My heart can’t take these two! #IronSpider

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

Aaawww! I want someone to look at the way #IronSpider looks at each other…

Chapter Text

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I just don’t understand. @Spiderman How are you so light?

[It’s a picture of Natasha and Peter standing in what looks like a park. Natasha’s wearing jeans and a tucked in black tank top with sunglasses on her head to hold back her hair. Peter’s got on a pair of holey jeans and a Pink Floyd t-shirt with his flowery boots. They’re both grinning at the camera, Peter on Natasha’s back, who appears to be holding him with absolutely no effort on her part.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Are you implying Natasha is weak?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Yeah, are you?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@BuckyBarnes Tread carefully, man.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@BlackWidow Of course not! I’m just saying that it should have taken at least some effort for you to carry him around.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Honestly though, it really did take no effort. @Spiderman Why are you so light?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Radioactive spider bite.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

That is not an answer to everything.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

You’d be surprised by how much it actually does explain.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman What does the spider bite have to do with it?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

My bones are less dense.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

…we’re gonna need a little more than that, Peter.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Spiders don’t have bones.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

…still gonna need a little more.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan That’s one of the most terrifying things you could have answered with.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman Okay, thankfully, I know you have bones. I’ve seen them broken.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes, I still have bones. They’re just less dense than a normal human.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

It helps him to swing around, crawl on walls/ceilings, and makes him more flexible.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman That’s why you’re so flexible?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I mean, the ballet and stuff help, but yeah.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

This does explain how Tony can just pick you up and walk off when you get too into a project and refuse to sleep.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@CaptainAmerica Yeah, but to be fair, I can do the same. I have done the same.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman @IronMan Is that part of the ‘system’ you two have worked out?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yes.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Yes.

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

God, I love those two!!! Just look at how they explained the bone thing together!!! #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Man, I didn’t even think about the bone thing when I was researching spiders. Lowered density makes so much sense!

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Yet again, I wonder: where does one even find a radioactive spider? How did that happen?

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I adore the mental image of Tony just walking over to Peter, picking him up, and walking off without a word! #IronSpider

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

“That is not an answer to everything.” I love how this implies that Peter does try to use it as an answer for everything.

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I love Bucky’s immediate backtracking when they tried to imply he said Natasha was weak.

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

Alright, as someone who used to do gymnastics I wanna know exactly how flexible he is.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

@ItShouldBeArKansas The bone density thing probably means that it’s, like, contortionist levels.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Aaaww, look at them! #AvengersFamily

Chapter Text

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Why did I just walk into the living room to see Peter braiding Wanda’s hair? @Spiderman @ScarletWitch

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

He braids better than anyone I’ve ever met.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

It’s true. @Spiderman Where did you even learn to braid like that?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Radioactive spider bite.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

That’s still not an answer for everything, Peter.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

No, really. I can weave pretty much anything.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman Wait, can you knit?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah, why?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Is that where the new blanket on the couch came from?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Yeah. He gets fidgety sometimes and needs something to do with his hands. We’ve got one at the foot of our bed too.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman So, what other spidery traits do you have?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Honestly, it might just be easier if you ask specific questions.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Are you venomous?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

No, I am not venomous. I don’t actually have fangs, though my canines are a just little longer and sharper than normal.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

You mix your web fluid, right? None of that actually comes out of you?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Don’t worry, Sam. I mix it all in the lab.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Can you thermoregulate? I mean, Tony was really worried when you were still living in your old apartment and had no heat.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…to an extent. If I get too cold for too long, then I basically go into a state of hibernation.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Have you ever actually gone into full hibernation?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Almost.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Never again.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan It’s okay, honey. You managed to wake me up.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Can you regrow limbs?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I’ve never actually had to test that one, but I’m pretty sure it’s a no. Spiders regenerate lost legs when they molt which is something I definitely do not do.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

The bite completely altered your DNA, right?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Right.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

So, if you had kids would they have spidery powers too?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Theoretically, yes. I’ll never actually know because I am 1. completely in love with Tony and 2. sterile.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Oh.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah. Like I said, I did every test I could possibly think of after the bite. To be fair though, that might not actually be because of it.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Speaking of the bite, exactly how radioactive are you? Like, if you’re seriously injured on a mission, is it safe for us to be around your blood?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I’m not ever gonna be able to donate blood or anything but it is mostly safe. As long as it doesn’t actually enter anyone else’s bloodstream then it’s safe to touch.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Not that it matters because you are not allowed to get seriously injured.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony, you know I can’t guarantee that.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman I’m guaranteeing it, sweetheart.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Aaannnd, Peter just left for Tony’s lab. We won’t be seeing them for a while.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

We’ve learned so much today! Also, I would kill for Spidey to braid my hair.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

They went from being so far in denial to Peter casually saying he’s “completely in love with Tony”!!! #OTP #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

A hand knitted blanket at the foot of their bed is so domestic!! I love it!! #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Honestly, could you imagine a toddler with spider powers though? Like, the kid’s learning to crawl, hits a wall, and just keeps going up.

Clever Name @ActualName

Wow. I never really thought about how much that bite would have actually affected him beyond the obvious.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

I am living for Tony absolutely refusing to let Peter get injured. #IronSpider

Chapter Text

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Look at the birthday boy.

[It’s a picture of Peter sitting sideways in Tony’s lap with one arm around his shoulders and the other hand on his chest. He’s grinning wide at something off screen and has a ‘Happy Birthday’ crown sitting slightly crooked on his curls. Tony’s got one arm wrapped around Peter’s waist and his other hand on his thigh, also grinning at whatever it is they’re looking at.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I told you guys I didn’t want a party.

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

And yet, here we are.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Come on, Peter. You only turn 32 once!

Thunderstruck @Thor

Yes, little spider. It is a cause for celebration!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Thor I thought I told you to stop calling me ‘little spider’.

Friggason @Loki

@Spiderman Well, you are very short compared to the two of us.

Thunderstruck @Thor

@Spiderman Yes, also very young.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Thor @Loki We’re all young next to you two. Even Steve and Bucky.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

What were those two even smiling about in this particular picture?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

This one was when Wanda brought the cake out. SpiderCake.jpg

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@ScarletWitch The cake was perfect, Wanda.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@ScarletWitch Yeah, Wanda. It looked great!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aw, thanks guys!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It was great and I appreciate it, but you guys didn’t have to do all this. Everything from everybody was too much.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Just accept it, sweetheart. You deserved everything today.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony. You made me an entirely new suit. A multimillion-dollar suit.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You deserve to be as safe as I can possibly make you.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Thank you, honey.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan Hey, what do you know, Peter’s personal safety was also the idea for the joint gift from all of us!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…yeah, that gift in particular is really gonna come in handy. PaintWater.jpg

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Happy birthday, Spidey!!! I love that they gave him a party even when he said not to!!! #AvengersFamily

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Happy birthday!!! Look at them!!! And Tony made him a new suit to keep him safe!!! #OTP #IronSpider

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Happy birthday, Peter! I can’t wait to see the new suit!!

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Happy birthday!!! LMAO at his new mugs. Only real family helps you out while low-key roasting you like that. #AvengersFamily

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Wait. Wait. Wait. Spiderman has been around for at least fifteen years… Peter just turned 32…

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

@AmIThough Oh my god, you’re right. How long has Peter been swinging around New York?!?

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

Happy birthday, Spidey!!! I can’t wait to see the new suit, but I will admit that I half expected Tony to get him a dog for his birthday…

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

@AvengersStan Us too. Now, we’re expecting to see them around Christmas time.

Chapter Text

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Alright, everybody. @Spiderman lost a bet so now I get to post this video from last year. Enjoy.

[It’s a video of Peter dancing to Singing in the Rain followed by Umbrella.]

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

…oh my god.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

What the hell?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman Peter, when was this?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman Peter, why this?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It was Sara’s birthday last year. There was a competition at a club she goes to sometimes. She talked me into it.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Why would you ever let Sara talk you into anything?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman I thought you only knew ballet.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BlackWidow I never lied. I just held certain truths back.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Peter, you’re so good! I just- oh my god.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Wait. Wait. Wait. Where’s Tony?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Where’s Tony? @IronMan

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan Tony? Are you okay after seeing this?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Leave him alone, guys. @IronMan Really, though, are you okay?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman …you told me about this last year. You said Sara wanted you to join a dance competition with her.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Again, I didn’t lie. I just held certain truths back.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman You didn’t tell me you were gonna be doing this! I could’ve been there!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Honey, it’s okay. You were in Japan on business at the time anyway.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Screw business! I could have flown back! I could have watched that in person!

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman @IronMan If Tony had been there in person to see that then you two probably would have gotten together a lot sooner.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@BlackWidow Oh, 100%.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

…yeah, most likely. @Spiderman I just- wow, sweetheart.

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

…Tony Stark is a very lucky man. #IronSpider

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Look at him!!! He is the very definition of ‘get you a man that can do both’.

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Okay, I was shocked enough to be seeing Peter in a suit again. I was not expecting that song change!!!

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Alright, Peter Parker looks good enough in drag that it is making even my proud lesbian self question some things.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

My eternal thanks to @BabySpiderling for both making this happen in the first place and then for sharing it with the world.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Rihanna is definitely not Peter’s type of music. Who do we have to thank for suggesting the actual song and dance?

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

@DanielPerez Most likely also Sara. The other spiderlings probably also had something to do with it.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Peter Parker dancing in a suit followed by Peter Parker dancing in Rihanna drag. What a time to be bisexual.

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Somebody get RuPaul on the phone right now!

Chapter Text

I’ve Got A @WeirdQuestion

@IronMan Weird question but here we go: Where is the tattoo that none of the other Avengers have seen (besides Peter obviously)?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@WeirdQuestion Did the others put you up to this?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan We did not but you should still answer the question.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan Yeah, Tony. Where is it?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Why do you guys want to know so badly?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I, personally, have twenty dollars on it being an ass tattoo.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Me too.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Me and @CaptainAmerica said it’s not and @BlackWidow wasn’t allowed to participate.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@CaptainAmerica Steve! You, too?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman It seemed like easy money.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

It is good to see that you boys have finally learned not to bet with Natasha.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@ScarletWitch It took them long enough.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

It was a hard-learned lesson.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan So, where is it?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

It’s on my back, okay? It’s on my back.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BuckyBarnes @Falcon We’ll take cash.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Fine.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@IronMan Is it, like, your shoulder blade or full back?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

It’s pretty much a full back piece.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan It’s definitely one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever done.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman It’s beautiful, sweetheart. All of your work is.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan @Spiderman Alright. Alright. Before you two start getting all nauseating, what is it?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

It’s a phoenix.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Wait, when exactly did you get this tattoo?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

2008.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@IronMan …after you announced you were Iron Man?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Peter showed me the design the night of the press conference.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: they really are perfect for each other. #IronSpider

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Right after the press conference… right after he announced himself as a hero… not long after he stopped manufacturing weapons… I am crying!!!! #IronSpider

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

@SpideyStan1 Same! My English major heart can’t take the symbolism!!!

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I love that Natasha isn’t even allowed to participate in their bets anymore. #AvengersFamily

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Aaawww, of course one of Peter’s favorite pieces is one he did for Tony!!! #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Okay, at this point I’m convinced that there is always at least one bet running in Avengers Tower. #AvengersFamily

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

I really want to see that tattoo (along with all the others he did for the Avengers).

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

@RebeccaLopez Me too, but I’m also kinda fine if they don’t ever show us because I feel like they might be really personal? I don’t know, man.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

Peter’s covered in tattoos and has said before that he’d have to be basically naked to see them all. So, the real question is, does he have an ass tattoo?

Chapter Text

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

This is the look we get for suggesting he actually get in the water instead of just laying by the pool.

[It’s a picture of Peter relaxing in a pool-side lounge chair. He’s wearing a red Hawaiian shirt and a pair of sunglasses that definitely belong to Tony. He’s giving the photographer a look that clearly conveys just how little he thinks of their suggestion.]

Original Spider @BlackWidow

You can’t see it in this picture, but Tony was in the chair beside him with the exact same look.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman @IronMan Honestly, you two pick up way too many mannerisms from each other.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I mean, yeah. That’s what happens when you’re around someone for so long.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

True. Besides, we don’t really swim. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Why don’t you two like to swim?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Let’s just say we’ve both had some bad experiences with water and leave it at that.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Fair enough. I think we all understand not wanting to talk about bad experiences.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

While we’re asking questions though @Spiderman how did you manage to go through an entire bottle of sunscreen in a day?!?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

It’s not that uncommon.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Yeah, he put on a full coat of it when we went to the park, too.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I never spend extended periods of time in the sun without protection. Do you know how much the ink on my body is worth?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

…I’ve actually never thought about that before.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman Do we want to know how much?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Probably not.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Yes, we do. Now we’re curious.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman @IronMan Don’t even try to tell us you two dorks haven’t done the math. How much is all that ink actually worth?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…True. We have. How about a ballpark figure?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

That works.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Several thousand dollars.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Aaaand, Stevie looks like he’s about to have a heart attack.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

If looks could kill…

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

They said Tony was in the chair beside him. See that arm he’s got out to the side? They were 100% sitting there holding hands. #IronSpider #OTP

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Okay, while I love Peter in that shirt, are you kidding me?!? They’re at the pool and we still don’t get to see any more of his tattoos!

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Man, I’m with Clint. I never really thought about how much those tattoos would actually cost…

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

I love that they apparently have, at some point, sat down and done the math. #IronSpider

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

I paid a couple hundred dollars for a tattoo and almost had a heart attack.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I wanna see the ‘several thousand dollars’ worth of tattoos!!!!

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

Steve casually mentioning that they’ve all got bad experiences they don’t talk about makes my heart hurt.

 

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Alright, guys. It’s officially October. The dreaded pumpkin spice season has begun.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

What do you have against pumpkin spice?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch It’s the cinnamon.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman Let me guess: cinnamon is a spider repellent?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman So, if I were to come into the tower with, say, a pumpkin spice latte….?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I would avoid you. I would actively avoid you.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Good to know.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Wait, but I just bought a pumpkin spice candle.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye You bought a pumpkin spice candle?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yes, I did. With absolutely no shame.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye Clint, you never have any shame. About anything.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

That is unfortunately true.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Yeah, you’re not allowed to burn that in this tower.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

In fact, all pumpkin spice products are banned from the tower.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Honey, you can’t just ban all pumpkin spice.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Too late. Already done.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye You can keep the candle as long as you only burn it in your room.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye No you can’t.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman What happens if he burns it around you?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I’ll basically just have an allergic reaction. Small amounts are okay, but if it’s concentrated like a candle it can get pretty bad.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

So, pure cinnamon would be worse?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Pure cinnamon would be more along the lines of a severe allergic reaction.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

No cinnamon in the tower either.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony…

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman No, младший брат, I agree.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I am a grown man. I know how to safely handle my allergies.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Sweetheart, I remember what happened last time you accidently ingested cinnamon. I don’t want that to happen again.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan It won’t, honey. That’s why we made the EpiPen specifically for my mutation.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman I’m not taking any chances.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

…you two had to specially make one?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

No cinnamon in the tower.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I’m throwing away that candle.  

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

...I am suddenly so worried about pumpkin spice season.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Okay, but, protective Tony is so cute! #IronSpider

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

They all got so protective!! #AvengersFamily

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Still living for Natasha calling Peter ‘little brother’.

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

I love pumpkin spice. Thankfully, I live in Arkansas and don’t have to worry about endangering Spidey.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

*Adam Scott Voice* The pumpkin spice… betrayed us?!?

Chapter Text

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Peter is teaching Bucky to knit, and it might sound cute, but he just threatened me with a knitting needle, so…

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Falcon Did you deserve it?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

No!

Original Spider @BlackWidow

He probably deserved it.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@BuckyBarnes How do you have the patience to sit there and learn how to knit?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

…Clint, I’m a sniper.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Clint, you’re a sniper. How could you not have the patience?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@ScarletWitch That’s different.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Sometimes, you just don’t make any sense. You know that, right?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I am well aware, yes.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BuckyBarnes You’re doing great, Bucky! You’ll have a blanket made in no time.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aaaw, he just sat up all self-satisfied because he got a compliment from the teacher.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

He looks so proud of himself.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@ScarletWitch @BlackWidow Leave me alone.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BuckyBarnes Why’d you suddenly want to learn how to knit anyway?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

…I like using my metal arm to make something instead of to fight. I like that it can be more than just a weapon.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Of course it can! You’re not just a weapon, Bucky. You know you can talk to me when you start feeling that way.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I know, Stevie. I promise I will.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@BuckyBarnes We can make all the blankets you want! I will make you an expert!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Calm down, sweetheart. @BuckyBarnes You can order all of the softest and most expensive yarns you want.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan That’s good, because Jenny stole a lot of it.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Okay, yes, this is all very sweet. I will, however, remind you all: he threatened me with a knitting needle!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Falcon Yeah, but it was in my right hand.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Peter just casually starting a knitting circle in Avengers Tower. #AvengersFamily

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

This is so wholesome! (Except maybe Sam getting threatened…)

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I love Wanda and Natasha calling Bucky out. *cough* teacher’s pet *cough*

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Okay, but did Sam deserve it?

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Steve immediately reassuring Bucky!!! #OTP #Stucky

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

I love how Bucky implies that they’re just letting Jenny steal all of the yarn she wants.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

Do I love Steve immediately reassuring Bucky he’s more than a weapon? Yes. Does my heart hurt because he thought that at all? Also yes.

Chapter Text

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

Diego’s going on vacation to visit some of his family in Bolivia. Actual conversation I witnessed today:

Peter: You’ve got your passport?

Diego: Yes, Boss.

Peter: You bought your plane ticket? You know exactly when your flight leaves?

Diego: Yes, Boss.

Peter: Make sure you get to the airport early, just in case.

Diego: I know, Boss.

Peter: Be careful. Stay safe. Call me when you land and if you need anything.

Diego: What are you gonna do all the way from New York?

Peter: I’ve done the math. I can be there in the jet in just a few hours.

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

He wasn’t even joking. He really would fly all the way to South America if I called him.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Aw, he just worries. @Spiderman Don’t you, Chief?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I will not apologize for worrying about you guys.

The Responsible One @First Spiderling

@Spiderman It’s sweet.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Mainly because you three are walking disasters.

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

Okay, slightly less sweet.

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

But, not inaccurate.

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

@Spiderman To be fair, you’re right there beside us most of the time.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Only because I’m trying to corral you three.

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

Do I need to remind you of the poker game?

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

Yeah, you were cheating just as much as the rest of us.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Sweetheart, you absolutely cheat at cards.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan You’re supposed to be on my side!

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

@IronMan You both cheat at cards. @Spiderman You’re the one that taught us!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

…fair enough.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…yeah, I guess I did.

The Responsible One @FirstSpiderling

We really shouldn’t have expected any different from two geniuses that can count multiple decks at once.

Hablo Español @SecondSpiderling

@First Spiderling True.

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I can’t even explain how much I love this family. #SpiderDad #IronDad

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I am so soft!!! Look at them parenting the spiderlings!!! #IronSpider #SpiderDad #IronDad

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

‘call me when you land’ That is such a parent thing to say. #SpiderDad

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

I would 100% watch a heist movie about Tony, Peter, and the spiderlings taking down a casino.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

@IDon’tEvenLikeSalad Absolutely. Where do I sign to make that happen?

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

I can’t believe Peter cheats. I mean, he somehow seems so innocent?!?

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Like fathers like children. #SpiderDad #IronDad

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Look at our new family member! Everybody meet Lola!

[It’s a picture of a gray Pit Bull mix. She’s got her mouth open and her tongue hanging out, so it looks like she’s smiling. There’s a pink and yellow bandana tied around her neck.]

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I love her.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye They haven’t even gotten back to the tower with her yet.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@BlackWidow Doesn’t matter. She’s a dog and so I love her.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan Already? You are so whipped.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Falcon Shut up, Sam.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman We have a cat and we have a dog. We’re done now, right?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan I’m satisfied. Thank you, honey.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

She’s cute. What about Jenny, though? Are they gonna get along?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@CaptainAmerica They took Jenny to the shelter with them to make sure.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I was wondering where she’d gotten to.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

They get along just fine.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

[It’s a picture of Jenny standing on her hind legs with her front paws pressed against Lola’s chest. Lola is licking her in the face.]

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Okay, that’s adorable.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan @Spiderman Hurry up and get back to the tower!

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Look at her little bandana! The #AvengersFamily just keeps growing and I am here for it.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Aw, Tony and Peter got a new daughter! #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

“She’s a dog and so I love her.” I felt that.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

I love that they took Jenny with them to be sure they’d get along.

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

@Page394 We stan responsible pet dads.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Jenny got a sister! When will Lola get to meet her cousin Sophia? #AvengersFamily

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

I love that they get all their animals from a shelter. Lola is gonna have such a good life!

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

We were so happy to see @Spiderman and @IronMan again. Lola was dropped off at our shelter because her previous owner didn’t want to deal with the responsibilities of a grown dog. We know she’ll be happy and well taken care of at Avengers Tower!

Chapter Text

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

@IronMan I feel like we’re going to regret this.

[It’s a picture of Peter and Thor at what looks like some kind of fall festival, each with a large stick of cotton candy in hand. Thor has on a simple long-sleeved shirt and jeans, seemingly not bothered at all by the weather. Peter, however, has on a thick gray hoodie and a ‘Stark Industries’ beanie.]

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

If they get too hyped up on sugar, then we’ll just put them in the training room to spar the energy off.

Thunderstruck @Thor

Cotton candy is one of the greatest human creations I have found yet.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Thor It’s nothing but pure sugar.

Thunderstruck @Thor

Absolutely genius.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Thor Just wait until you have a caramel apple.

Thunderstruck @Thor

That sounds amazing. We’ll go there next.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BruceBanner I see what you meant.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Just be happy Clint’s not joining them on their sugar high.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Where is he anyway? @BlackWidow and I stopped to get our faces painted and I haven’t seen him since.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

He’s probably at the shooting games.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

He is. @Hawkeye and @BuckyBarnes are competing on the shooting game.

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

They do know the game is more than likely rigged, right?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yeah, but that’s not the point.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I have to prove I’m the better shot, even at a rigged carnival game.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I think you mean I’m the better shot.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

They’ve been arguing about it for the last fifteen minutes.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

We’re probably gonna be here a while.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@CaptainAmerica Is @Loki with you? He teleported away and hasn’t come back yet.

Friggason @Loki

I simply went to check on the girls. Everyone is getting along splendidly.

[It’s a picture of Lola sleeping in a fluffy dog bed. Jenny is curled up on her back while Sophia is laying pressed up against her side.]

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Aw, look at them!!!

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Oh, wow. Peter and Thor are gonna be so hyped up.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love that Peter is wearing Stark Industries merch. #IronSpider

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Poor @Spiderman looks like he’s already freezing.

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Aw, I love the #AvengersFamily going to a fall festival together!!

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I want to see Natasha and Wanda’s face paint.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

Loki’s priorities are clearly in order.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

Who won though? Bucky or Clint?

Chapter Text

Pumped Up Kicks @BabySpiderling

@IronMan Chief did a thing…

[It’s a picture of Peter sitting at his tattoo station in Spider’s Parlor. He’s wearing a Motley Crue t-shirt and grinning at the camera with his tongue sticking out, clearly showing the silver barbell in its center.]

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Oh.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Tony? You okay?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

…I’m fine.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

He is definitely not fine. @Spiderman You broke him.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Sorry, honey.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Oh, I’m sure you’ll make it up to him.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Behave, Clint.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

What exactly did he do this time?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

…what?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

And why did Sara tag Tony like that?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Oh my gods. They don’t know.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

What don’t they know?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

None of them know.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Know what?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Well…

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye No.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye Do not.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

They’re gonna find out eventually.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yeah. Let me tell them.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye You will not.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I’m starting to think maybe we don’t want to know…

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Ignoring whatever this is for a moment, where’s Tony?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman broke him.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Sorry, not sorry.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Such innocence! They must be protected.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I think he really did break him… #IronSpider

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Oh, man. I wish I could be there when they eventually do learn what everybody was talking about.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Clint: ImGonnaTellHim.gif

Natasha and Peter: DontYouDare.gif

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

I am wheezing. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life. Protect their innocence!

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Peter really needs to give them a lesson on piercings and what some of them can mean.

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Such innocent little cinnamon rolls!!!

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

@GirlsLoveGirls Yeah, but I think this particular case makes Peter a sinnamon roll.

Chapter Text

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Who decided it was a good idea to put @Hawkeye in charge of movies?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Hey, I pick great movies!

Original Spider @BlackWidow

You specifically pick bad movies.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

That’s because those are the best horror movies! I want to see wires. I want poorly written scripts. I want bad acting.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Believe me, we’ve noticed.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I kind of like them.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@BuckyBarnes Of course you do.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Let’s be honest: the last thing we all need is to watch a bunch of horror movies with realistic blood and death scenes.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

…true.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

At least he’s set them up chronologically. The special effects should get at least slightly better as we go.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@CaptainAmerica I wouldn’t count on it.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

As long as I get to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas then I’m good.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman That’s exactly why you weren’t in charge of movies.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan What do you mean?

You Know Who I Am @Spiderman

Sweetheart, if it was up to you, we’d be watching the entire Tim Burton filmography.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

What’s wrong with that?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I love you but I am not sitting through that again.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Again?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman How many times have you done that?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I only talked Tony into it once.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Which is fair because you made me sit through hours of Tarantino movies.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

… alright, yeah. Fair enough.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Honestly, @Hawkeye is not wrong. The best horror movies are bad horror movies.

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Yaaasss!!! The Nightmare Before Christmas! The Corpse Bride! Frankenweenie!

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

@KatrinaGranger Edward Scissorhands! Beetlejuice! Sweeney Todd!

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

Okay, but, Tony and Peter both have great taste in movies.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

I love #AvengersFamily movie nights!

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

It makes me hurt that they apparently have to be careful about movies with good special effects because of blood, death scenes, etc.

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

@MyOldFriend I never even thought about stuff like that. I mean, I just watched Saving Private Ryan last night. Can you imagine…?

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I love the tattoos people want in October.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

What do you mean?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

People tend to want monster and horror tattoos in October more than any other time of year.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Which one was your favorite this year?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Cthulhu.jpg

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

…you did that?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

That’s kind of horrifying, Peter.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@CaptainAmerica I think that’s the point, Stevie.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I like it.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

That’s also horrifying but in a completely different way.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Moving on from…that: everybody’s ready for the Stark Industries Halloween party, right?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yes!

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BuckyBarnes and I are ready.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Everyone has a costume, right? @IronMan

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Don’t worry, Natasha. I talked him into letting me paint his face at least.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman How’d you manage that?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Do you really want to know?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

We do not.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch Thor, Loki, and Bruce aren’t gonna make it though.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aw, how come?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

They’re staying in New Asgard. The Winternights celebrations last until the 2nd.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Bruce is really embracing the whole he’s-basically-an-Asgardian-now thing, huh?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Yeah. He’s happy.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I hope we get pictures of their costumes!!!

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Peter had to ‘convince’ him, did he? #IronSpider

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Not gonna lie though, Peter painting Tony’s face is adorable. #IronSpider

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

Aw, I love how happy Tony seems just because he knows Bruce is happy!!! #ScienceBros

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Damn right Bruce is happy in New Asgard. #Thruce

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

My gods, @Spiderman is a good artist…

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

Yes! Winternights! Pagan pride!

Chapter Text

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Happy Halloween!

[It’s a picture of all the Avengers in their Halloween costumes. Clint is wearing the forest green of Robin Hood, his actual bow in hand. Sam has on the yellow shirt and blue cloak of Lando. Steve and Bucky look like they stepped right out of a speakeasy in an old mob movie. Natasha’s hair is perfectly curled to transform her into a red-headed Marilyn Monroe. Wanda is wearing Princess Buttercup’s red dress with Vision beside her dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts. Tony and Peter both have their faces painted into almost eerily realistic skulls.]

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Hawkeye You couldn’t resist, could you?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

There is nothing wrong with Robin Hood.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I mean, were any of us really surprised at his choice?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

No, but I could have done without him shooting random things.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Yeah, and I could have done without him trying to steal my wallet.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Just staying in character.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

I think we need to talk about Tony and Peter. @Spiderman That paint was almost too realistic.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Thank you. I do try.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Although, it probably would have been easier to do if Tony had shaved.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

No.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

No.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Absolutely not.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Not happening.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Okay. Okay. Sorry I even suggested it.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@IronMan @Spiderman Calm down, boys.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

While we’re talking about costumes, @BuckyBarnes and @CaptainAmerica seemed a bit too comfortable playing mobsters.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@CaptainAmerica Aren’t you Irish, Steve?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

What are you implying?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

We’re not implying anything. Just answer one question: if Tony were to hack some files and really look into your family history, would he find anything… interesting?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

MaybeSo.gif

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

…what the hell does that mean?

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

They all look so good!!!

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love the immediate defense of Tony’s beard. #IronSpider

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Okay, I have taken anatomy classes with skulls that look more fake than that.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

I am living for Clint ‘staying in character’ by trying to steal Tony’s wallet.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

@MyOldFriend Hey, steal from the rich…

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

Okay, I’m with Sam. What the hell does that mean?!?

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Natasha as Marilyn Monroe… oh wow.

Clever Name @ActualName

I just wanted to see the #AvengersFamily in Halloween costumes. I didn’t expect to learn that Captain freaking America might have had mafia ties.

Chapter Text

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BlackWidow I need you to make him stop.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Unfortunately, this is one area where I cannot control him.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

What if we tag team?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

It won’t work. He can’t be stopped. This is when he’s most powerful.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

It’s true. I am my most powerful in November and December.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye Clint, it hasn’t even been a week. Halloween was literally less than a week ago.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Clint, if I have to listen to George Michael or Mariah Carey one more time, I will lock you out of the tower. Permanently.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Peter wouldn’t let you.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Do it.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Woah, even Peter’s done with him.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Hawkeye I’d be worried if I were you because if there’s anyone Tony listens to, it’s Peter.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Hawkeye What did you do?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I have no idea what his problem is.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye Liar!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman What happened, sweetheart?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

There was a Christmas tree in my shop! He put garland on the front counter! Tinsel was everywhere!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye …was there now.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Hawkeye Do you have a death wish?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman It needed decorations!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

No, it didn’t. Do you know why it didn’t? Because it is the first week of November!

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Hawkeye Haven’t you ever read The Spider and the Fly?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Hawkeye You’re the fly. You’re the fly who willingly went into the Spider’s Parlor.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Hawkeye He’s gonna kill you.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Okay. Okay. Everybody calm down.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman @IronMan You two can not kill Clint or lock him out of the tower.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye You stay out of The Parlor and use headphones if you want to listen to anymore Christmas music.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

No Christmas until after Thanksgiving.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

…fine.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye You got lucky.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Ominous and slightly threatening. I’m so proud.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

LMAO. I don’t know if Clint’s gonna last the holidays…

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Aw, Tony and Peter are both so protective! #IronSpider

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Huh, so @Hawkeye is one of those people.

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

Great. Now both songs are stuck in my head.

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

“No Christmas until after Thanksgiving.” I’m gonna need @CaptainAmerica to go to every store in the country and tell them that.

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Honestly, I can’t judge. I’ve had Mariah Carey on repeat for days.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

Note to self: Do not mess with Spider’s Parlor.

Chapter Text

Original Spider @BlackWidow

The living room looks like an arts and crafts store.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

At least Jenny seems to be enjoying all the discarded yarn.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yeah, and Lola took one of the finished blankets for herself.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Hawkeye Is that where the green one went?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

She dragged it to her bed. You’re definitely not getting that one back any time soon.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

She can keep it.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

What are you two even going to do with all these blankets?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

We have a plan.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Do we get to know this plan?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

We’re dropping them all by some of the homeless shelters later today.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Which reminds me, we’re borrowing one of the cars later.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Sure thing, sweetheart.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@BuckyBarnes @Spiderman You absolute cinnamon rolls!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Really? Even @BuckyBarnes?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Falcon He’s like a slightly scorched cinnamon roll. A little damaged, but still perfectly good.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@BlackWidow Thanks, Nat.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BuckyBarnes You’ve gotten really good at the knitting thing.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

He has! @BuckyBarnes You’ve improved so much!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Once again, he looks so proud to get a compliment from the teacher.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@ScarletWitch Shut up.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Okay, okay. Before anyone starts arguing, I feel like I should tell you that the tree just arrived.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yes! It’s time to decorate!

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@IronMan …what did you just do?

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I can not wait to see the end result of Clint’s decorating.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love how Tony didn’t even question Peter taking one of his cars for a day. #IronSpider

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

They are just a couple of cinnamon rolls!

In Front Of My Salad!!! @IDon’tEvenLikeSalad

Okay, I love that they're taking a bunch of homemade blankets to homeless shelters. I also love that Lola got to steal one for herself.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

@IDon’tEvenLikeSalad I appreciate that Jenny is apparently just playing in their yarn.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

I have a feeling that if @Hawkeye has his way, Avengers Tower is gonna look like the Hallmark channel threw up on it.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

@NotAConstructionWorker I’m here for it.

Chapter Text

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

We’ve unleashed a monster.

[It’s a picture of a huge Christmas tree in the tower’s living room. Clint is standing in front of it wearing a Santa hat with a strand of garland wrapped around him like a scarf, apparently directing the others. Peter is hanging from the ceiling by a strand of webbing and appears to be wrapping lights around the top of the tree. Tony can be seen off to the side. He’s holding Jenny who looks like she wants nothing more than to explore their tree.]

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

I’ve never seen anything like this.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I told you: this is when he’s most powerful.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Where did you even get all these decorations?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I’ve been stockpiling for months in preparation.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

That’s terrifying.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

What’s really terrifying is the way Jenny’s eyeing the tree.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@ScarletWitch Why do you think I’m keeping a hand on her?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah, we’re definitely gonna have to keep a close eye on her for the rest of the month.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye Do we really need this many decorations?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Yes.

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

@Thor I never realized how many Christmas traditions actually come from Yule.

Thunderstruck @Thor

@BruceBanner Yes, elskede. Many of our ancient traditions were adopted when the Christian missionaries came.

Friggason @Loki

Yes, ‘adopted’.

Thunderstruck @Thor

@Loki We’re not doing this right now, Loki. Unless, of course, you’d like to talk about certain decorations? Mistletoe, perhaps?

Friggason @Loki

…Let us return to decorating, brother. We have no time for conversation.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

What just happened? What does mistletoe have to do with anything?

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

@Falcon It’s probably best if you just don’t ask.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Alright, time to study up on Norse traditions and mythology.

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

Oh no. Jenny is one of those cats. Best of luck to the Avengers.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

Oof. The mistletoe. Yikes. I do love Thor calling Bruce ‘elskede’ again though. #OTP #Thruce #PaganPride

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

I have never heard someone use the term ‘stockpiling’ to describe Christmas decorations before.

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

That is one of the biggest Christmas trees I’ve ever seen.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

@LucilleSanders Good thing they’ve got Spidey to reach the top.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Clint with a garland scarf is literally me all through December.

Chapter Text

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It’s snowing and I don’t like it.

[It’s a picture of New York City covered in a layer of snow. The picture was clearly taken from the top of a very tall building.]

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Again, I thought we agreed you’d stop taking dangerous pictures from the tops of buildings.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Honey, I never agreed. I’m perfectly safe.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@IronMan He’s fine, Tony.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@IronMan Yeah, I mean, he climbs skyscrapers for fun and his balance is literally inhuman.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman If you hate the snow so much than why are you outside and who knows how many feet in the air?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Just because it’s snowing doesn’t mean I can just not patrol.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Wait, I thought you weren’t supposed to be in the cold?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Yes, младший брат, you’re supposed to be staying warm.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BlackWidow That’s what the heater’s for.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Heater?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Tony put a heating function in the suit he made.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman That’s good because you are not allowed to hibernate.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman Absolutely not.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I only even came close one time! And that was years ago!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman That was one time too many, sweetheart.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan I highly doubt that is gonna happen again.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

What did happen exactly?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Yeah, how’d you get too cold?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I may have gone for a little swim in a freezing river.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

And you did this because…?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

It’s not like it was voluntary.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Was it one of your weird villains?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Yeah.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman You do have a lot of weird villains.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

…yeah.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I love how resigned Peter seems about his “weird villains”.

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough

@SpideyStan1 I mean, they’re not wrong. Those guys are weird.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Tony put a heater in his suit!!! He’s so protective!!! #OTP #IronSpider

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

That picture is so pretty!

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

@GirlsLoveGirls Yeah, it’s pretty, but can you just imagine looking out the window on the twenty-fifth floor or whatever and just seeing Spidey on the building across from you trying to take a picture?!?

Clever Name @ActualName

@ImNotEvenACheerleader I would love that more than you can even imagine.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

Guys, remember when Tony mentioned that he and Peter don’t really swim and Peter said it's because of bad experiences…?

Chapter Text

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

We tried to convince him to come play in the snow with us. He refused to move.

[It’s a picture of Peter sitting on the couch surrounded by a nest of blankets and pillows. Jenny can be seen on the back of the couch, half on it and half on Peter’s shoulders. Lola’s head is in his lap and the only part of her that’s visible, the rest hidden under a couple of blankets.]

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

We knew it was a longshot when we asked.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I don’t like the cold. I especially don’t like snow.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

But it’s so pretty!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

And I can look at it from inside. We have windows.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Peter hates snow. He says it does nothing for him anymore so it’s pointless.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spidreman What do you mean “it does nothing for you”?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman Yeah, at what point was snow helping you with anything?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Snow has not been useful to me since it was capable of canceling school for the day.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

…that’s fair.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman It’s good that you’re staying warm inside, but you definitely would have been helpful outside.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Who ended up winning your snowball fight anyway?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

It was a tie between @BuckyBarnes and @BlackWidow.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@ScarletWitch was more focused on looking at the snow and @Hawkeye kept getting distracted and building snowmen.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Which is why there are now about 12 snowmen in one area of the park.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Say what you want because I had fun.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Me too!

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Honestly, I wouldn’t move from the blanket nest either.

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

That thing about snow only being useful when it can cancel school? I felt that.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

I love the fact that @Hawkeye is a sniper but seems to lose focus so easily.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

Aw, the #AvengersFamily playing in the snow together!!!

Goodbye Lucy @LucilleSanders

I wanna see the snowmen!

Paws and More @QueensAnimalShelter

Glad to see that Jenny and Lola seem to be enjoying their home so much!

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

I’m actually kinda happy that @Spiderman stayed inside. I mean, am I the only one constantly worried ever since we found out about the thermoregulation thing?!?

Chapter Text

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Okay, who was supposed to be watching the cat?

[It’s a picture of Jenny peeking out of the Christmas tree. Her face is the very picture of innocence, as if she has no idea why they would have a problem with her resting place.]

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

I was. I wondered where she had gotten to…

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@BuckyBarnes Why am I not surprised you can’t even babysit a cat?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Shut up, Sam.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

You two stop arguing. @Falcon She didn’t break anything, did she?

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

She better not have.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

It doesn’t look like she did. She’s just lying in the tree.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Calm yourself, feathers. I’m getting her out now. Your precious decorations will be fine.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Lola doesn’t do this. She hasn’t messed with any decorations.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye You leave Lola out of this.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Hawkeye Yeah. Don’t compare our girls like that.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Uh oh. Clint’s in trouble.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Hawkeye Clint, for your own safety I’m going to suggest you leave Lola and Jenny alone.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

…that’s probably a good idea.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@BlackWidow So, when does Clint’s ‘Christmas Fever’ end?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

He’ll be back to normal around New Year’s Eve.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Will the Christmas songs last that long too?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Unfortunately.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Hey, I’m not the only one singing Christmas songs! @Spiderman

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@Hawkeye Yeah, but I don’t keep Mariah Carey and George Michael on repeat.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Don’t forget that one Bublé album.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@Spiderman True, but you do keep singing ‘Kidnap the Sandy Claws’ and ‘What’s This?’.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Exactly!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Both of which are better choices than Clint’s.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

They really are.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Okay, we all know why you’re saying that, and it has nothing to do with the actual songs.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Aw, I love the #AvengersFamily getting annoyed with each other during the holidays!

I Cant Pick One @AvengersStan

@SpideyStan1 That’s how you know they’re really a family.

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

I love that they’re apparently taking turns trying to control Jenny and keep her out of the tree.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

They called Lola and Jenny their girls!!! We stan protective dads!!! #IronSpider

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

They’re lucky Jenny seems to be the type of cat to just play in the tree. Mine likes the ornaments…

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

Does Michael Bublé really only have one Christmas album? It just feels like he has more…

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

I am living for Peter’s love of Tim Burton/The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Chapter Text

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Happy holidays everybody!

[It’s a picture of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the Avenger’s living room. On the front, among all the other ornaments, you can see one for each Avenger, each with their symbols.]

[It’s a picture of a lovely table draped in a bright blue cloth with a beautiful golden menorah at its center.]

[It’s a picture of a finely crafted pine wreath hanging on the wall. It’s decorated with pine cones and different wood carvings of Norse runes.]

[It’s a picture of Peter and Wanda standing in the kitchen, surrounded by baking utensils and ingredients. They’re looking up from their baking to smile at the camera and both have flour dusted over their clothes and in their hair.]

[It’s a picture of Lola wearing a Santa hat, mouth open like she’s smiling at the camera, with Jenny crawling on top of her and clearly batting at the white ball on the end.]

[It’s a short video of Jenny and Sophia pawing at a wooden dreidel as it spins between them and across the floor.]

[It’s a picture of what looks like enough cookies to feed an army. They’re clearly homemade and while some are better decorated than others, they’re all beautiful. There’s Christmas trees, ornaments, menorahs, runes, dreidels, wreaths, candles, snowflakes, and Stars of David.]

[It’s a picture of Lola lying on her back and chewing on a stuffed candy cane toy.]

[It’s a picture of Tony who seems to have caught Jenny midair in what was clearly a leap for the Christmas tree. Loki can be seen laughing in the background while holding a perfectly behaved Sophia.]

[It’s a picture of mistletoe hanging in what is clearly the tower’s living room.]

[It’s a picture of Vision and Wanda under the mistletoe. Wanda has one hand cupping Vision’s face while his rest lightly on her hips as they kiss.]

[It’s a picture of Steve and Bucky kissing under the mistletoe. Steve has one arm wrapped around Bucky’s waist, pulling him close, while Bucky’s arms rest over his shoulders.]

[It’s a picture of Natasha and Pepper caught under the mistletoe. Natasha has one hand up like she’s just brushed a piece of Pepper’s hair out of her face. They’re sharing a soft kiss, both of their cheeks clearly flushed red.]

[It’s a picture of Thor and Bruce under the mistletoe. Thor has both of his big hands cupping Bruce’s face, leaning down so he can kiss him. Bruce is standing on his tiptoes, both hands gripping Thor’s biceps.]

[It’s a picture of Peter and Tony kissing under the mistletoe. Tony has one hand on Peter’s lower back and the other between his shoulder blades as he dips him lightly. Peter has one hand on the back of Tony’s neck while the other is flat against his chest, right where the arc reactor used to be like always.]

[It’s a picture of Loki, Clint, and Sam all standing under the mistletoe. Loki is standing between the two of them, eyes squeezed shut and nose crinkled as he tries to hide a smile. Clint and Sam are on either side of him, leaning on their tiptoes and braced on his arms, as they press what is clearly a loud and smacking kiss to each cheek.]

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

Happy holidays!! Look at this #AvengersFamily!!!

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

The mistletoe pictures!!! Look at my OTP!!! #IronSpider

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I am hyperventilating. Look at Natasha and Pepper!

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

LMAO. Poor Loki.

Give Me A D @ImNotAEvenACheerleader

Oof. I’m glad @IronMan managed to catch jenny.

Bi Bi Bi @ImNotInvisible

Now I want cookies.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

The mistletoe pictures are so cute!!! #Thruce #Stucky #ScarletVision #IronSpider #WhatAreWeCallingNatashaPepper

Chapter Text

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

So, was no one gonna tell me that Steve and Bucky got married?!?

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

What? I mean, I know they act like an old married couple, but I didn’t know it was official.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@BuckyBarnes @CaptainAmerica Since when?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

About a year ago.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Seriously, did anyone besides them know?

Original Spider @BlackWidow

I knew.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

That surprises absolutely no one.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

How come Natasha got to know?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Natasha was our witness.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

I swear to the gods, no one else had better be secretly married.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@Spiderman @IronMan I’m looking at you two when I say that.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You have nothing to worry about, Clint.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Do you honestly think I would be quiet about it if I got that man to marry me?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

He’d be screaming it from the rooftops.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

It’s not them you should worry about. @ScarletWitch Wanda?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Vision and I are not married.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Thor @BruceBanner You two wanna chime in?

The Other Guy @BruceBanner

Nothing to worry about here either.

Thunderstruck @Thor

Yes. You would all know if the two of us were married.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@BruceBanner Wouldn’t that technically make you royal consort?

The Other Guy @Bruce Banner

It would, yes.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I guess there is no way you two could be quiet about a wedding, huh?

Friggason @Loki

The celebrations in New Asgard would last a week at the least.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@BruceBanner Wow. The Asgardians really do like you, don’t they?

Thunderstruck @Thor

Of course they do! How could they possibly not?

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aw, cute!

Friggason @Loki

Bruce is as red as Thor’s cape right now.

 

 

 

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

You know Tony would definitely be shouting from the rooftops!!! #IronSpider

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

#Stucky is married! I repeat, #Stucky is married!!! #OTP

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

I’m convinced that @BlackWidow knows all and I’m okay with it.

Im Doing My Best @AmIThough 

Why do I get the feeling Loki only ever calls @BruceBanner and @Thor by their first names?

Ten Points To Slytherin @Page394

@AmIThough Because Loki loves his brother (even if he won’t admit it) and he and Bruce are totally bros.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

The only royal wedding I care about. #Thruce

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

The #AvengersFamily is full of power couples and I love it.

Chapter Text

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I do not understand the American tax system.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

That’s okay, Wanda. No one but accountants really understand it.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@ScarletWitch Pepper says you can head over to the finance department and they’ll help you file.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Oh, good. Watching @Spiderman was just making me more confused. There are so many different papers.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Papers?!? Like, physical papers?!?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman Even I can’t believe you still do this stuff on actual paper.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I just like to see it all in front of me before I officially file.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman Sweetheart, would you please just take advantage of the accountants I’ve been offering for years?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I have a system, Tony.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

You can still go over everything before it’s done.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

Leave my system alone, honey.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

@Spiderman @IronMan Just think: this time next year you two could be filing together.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

Aw, how romantic!

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@ScarletWitch Hush, you.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

They could be doing it now but they’re not as impolite as some people. @CaptainAmerica @BuckyBarnes

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

@Falcon For the last time, we’re sorry Natasha was our witness instead of you.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Falcon I’m not.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

@BuckyBarnes Shut up, RoboCop.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Wait, wait, wait. @IronMan You’re a billionaire.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Congratulations on your grasp of the obvious. What’s your point?

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Do we even wanna know what kind of tax bracket you’re in?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

No. You don’t.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Wait, do Steve and Bucky get an over 65 deduction?

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Damn right we do.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Is that even legal? I mean…

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Hey, we’re just being honest about our birth dates.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

See, this is why I’m confused!

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

I should have just moved to Norway with the Asgardians.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

I feel Wanda’s confusion on a deep and personal level.

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

I love how the Avengers have switched from trying to get #IronSpider to date to trying to get them married!!! #OTP

I Know How To Pronounce My State @ItShouldBeArKansas

Why do I get the feeling that @CaptainAmerica and @BuckyBarnes would fully commit tax fraud if they could get away with it?

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

@ItShouldBeArKansas Probably because they definitely would.

Winter Never Left @AstridHaugen

@ScarletWitch was 100% including @BruceBanner as an Asgardian and I love it!

More Like Hurricane Tortilla @KatrinaGranger

Sam is so salty about the secret #Stucky wedding.

Clever Name @ActualName

Man, what is Tony Stark’s tax bracket like?

Chapter Text

Original Spider @BlackWidow

Pure concentration.

[It’s a picture of Peter and Tony sitting at a large dining table. Peter has one hand flat on the tabletop while the other is held in Tony’s. Tony has an open bottle of dark red nail polish beside him, his brow furrowed as he carefully paints Peter’s nails. Peter is smiling fondly as he watches him, the very definition of heart eyes.]

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

In all honesty though, he actually did a really good job.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

Yeah, I get the feeling he’s done this plenty of times before.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

He has.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

I am an expert at this point.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

You’ve certainly improved.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

Oh man, how bad was it the first time?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

Doesn’t matter. Now they’re perfect.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

Wow. It must have been really bad.

Witchy Woman @ScarletWitch

@Spiderman Red, huh? Getting ready for Valentine’s Day?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

That’s actually just a coincidence. Tony picked the color.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

If that’s the case, then I’m surprised there’s no gold.

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

He said no to gold this year. And to diamonds.

Better Bird Avenger @Falcon

What does that even mean?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony, I love you, but I do not need a 4,000$ necklace.

Iced Americano @CaptainAmerica

Who does?!?

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

@Spiderman It was perfect, sweetheart.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Tony, no. We’re going to dinner and that’s it. No crazy expensive gifts.

Tired Old Man @BuckyBarnes

@Spiderman How’d you even know about the necklace anyway?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

FRIDAY.

Original Spider @BlackWidow

You reprogrammed FRIDAY to tattle on Tony?

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

I simply suggested to her that she tell me if he’s trying to spend too much on a personal gift.

First Bird Avenger @Hawkeye

@IronMan Ha! Betrayed by your own creation!

You Know Who I Am @IronMan

… me and FRIDAY are gonna have a little talk.

Friendly Neighborhood @Spiderman

@IronMan Good luck, honey. You know she likes me.

 

 

 

Spiderman Replied To Me!!! @SpideyStan1

LMAO. Poor Tony. #IronSpider

Look At All Those Chickens @ImADuck

Awww!!! Tony just wants to spoil him!!! #IronSpider #OTP

Theres A Bee!!??!! @EthanyWithaB

Ah, yes. The return of Spidey’s future autobiography: Tony, no.

Road Work Ahead @NotAConstructionWorker

I bet it was a spider necklace. That’s right up Peter’s alley.

Hello Darkness @MyOldFriend

@NotAConstructionWorker Hey, he chose his branding and he sticks with it.

I Hate White Vans @DanielPerez

Okay, but can we talk about the fact that absolutely no one seems surprised that Peter can hack Tony Stark’s AI?

It Is What I Think @RebeccaLopez

Okay, but here’s my question: how many times has something like this happened that Peter feels the need to have FRIDAY warn him?

Leslie More Like Lesbian @GirlsLoveGirls

@RebeccaLopez Those earrings he wears? Yeah, I get the feeling they’re probably actual rubies and sapphires and diamonds.