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Dad of the Year

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Jon took a deep breath in and massaged his temples with the tip of his fingers. His Dad sat across from him very confused as to why his son looked so confused himself. Jon clasped his hands together and then pointed it at his father. “So let me get this straight you won’t let me spend the night over Kathy’s but you are completely okay with me spending the entire weekend with Damian?”


Clark set his coffee mug down on the newspaper and nodded, “That seems reasonable to me.”


Jon raised an eyebrow at his father. He contemplated saying something else but in the end, shut his mouth and nodded, “Okayyyy, Yeah, Cool.” Jon raised his hands and nodded.


“You can’t tell me that asking to spend the night over Kathy’s house and you spending the night over Damian’s house doesn’t have two different underlying intentions,” Clark tried his best to explain to his son what he meant without using the exact words.


“Dad!” Jon screamed as a red blush washed his face. Bingo! Clark was glad to know he knew his son.


“So yes to Damian, no to Kathy, Clark shrugged and sipped his coffee. “Sorry Jon, I know it may seem old school but I’m not at the stage where I’m comfortable with that yet.”


“I’m so confused you aren’t making any sense!” Jon grabbed his hair. “Do you even hear yourself?”


“Yes, I sound like a Dad who has made up his mind,” Clark shrugged and finished the last of his coffee. He really didn’t get what Jon found so hard to understand in this situation. He wasn’t ready to knowingly send his son to another person’s house to have sex. Sure, Jon was seventeen but Clark still had an overprotective streak about him even when the boy was so close leaving for college. Jon had already expressed his interest in the two genders but Clark knew Jon’s and Damian’s relationship, they were the bestest of friends, been so for years. He could see clear lines drawn between those two. Kathy, on the other hand, is where Clark could see lines blurring.


Clark attention sprung to a car rolling into their driveway “Speaking of the devil,” Clark heard the engine turn off and listened to the sound of the young Wayne footsteps to their door. Jon had managed to tear his crazy look away from his father to greet his best friend at the door.


“Hey Dami,” Jon opened the door with a drawn tired voice before Damian could ring the doorbell. Damian wasn’t startled by the sudden hello but was growing concern with the distress he saw in Jon’s face.


“Jon?” Damian let himself in, “I thought you would be at Kathy’s.”


“Yeah, uh, my Dad won’t let me go,” Jon explained and was relieved to see the confused expression on Damian’s face that he was convinced was mirroring his.


“Hello Damian,” Clark called from his spot in the kitchen. Damian sauntered into the kitchen with Jon dragging his feet behind him.


“Superman,” Damian nodded towards him. “Sorry for the intrusion I just came to pick up a jacket I forgot here.”


Clark got up to put his coffee mug, “No worries.” Damian coming over at random, uninformed times had become a regular around here. “You have perfect timing actually.”


Jon folded his arms and rolled his eyes, “So my Dad is not okay with me going over Kathy’s but he’s fine with me sleeping over yours for the weekend.”


Damian glanced between the two for a few seconds before he sighed into his hand, “So let’s get this straight Johnny Boy,” Damian placed his hands on his hips. “Your father says it's okay to spend the entire weekend with me when we would have the whole mansion to ourselves and you see this as a problem because….?”


“I’m just trying to understand his logic I mean it makes no…!” Clark watched his son stop mid banter and tried to decipher what conclusion Damian and Jon had come to. Jon fell back into his heels and covered his face, “I’m an idiot.”


“I know,” Damian smiled smug at Jon.


There was a giant swoosh and suddenly Jon was holding a duffle bag stuffed with clothes and swung his arm around Damian. “You know what Dad you’re right I’ll just hang out with Damian for the weekend.”


“Glad we finally see eye to eye,” Clark wondered if he should be worried on Jon’s sudden happy behaviour.


“Well thanks... I guess,” Jon began to escort himself and Damian out the door.


“Bye Mr.Kent,” Damian tried to look past Jon’s arm before they closed the door behind him.


Clark listened to them until they got in the car and started their way outside their exit. He was left puzzled with the last thing Jon said to Damian before he cut out their conversation, “This is weird right?”

“You know I don’t remember extending the invitation to dinner to anyone but Bruce,” Clark folded his arms as he watched Hal and Barry take up space in his kitchen.


Hal pouts with his mouth full of pepperoni, “You have a pizza night and only invite Batsie!” He shoved the rest of the slice and moan with delight.


Barry beside him nods, “I love pizza! You know this!” Clark's eyes wandered to the three stacked pizza boxes that belonged to Barry alone. Barry swallowed and grinned, “I promise I’ll pay for those.”


“Don’t worry about it Barry,” Lois came with a fresh box of pizza for the both of them. Their mouths fell to the table and watered at the fresh meat pizza. “I have two healthy growing Kryptonian boys to feed, there is plenty to go around.”


“Just make sure to leave a box for Jon,” Kon walked in from the living room and tore a slice off the perfect pie.


“I invited Bruce because I wanted to discuss something with him,” Clark said to Hal and Barry. He doubts that either of them heard him since they were too busy filling their stomachs.


Bruce set down a plate with a slice of pizza and took a seat next to Hal. “What did you want to talk about?” Bruce thankfully jumped quickly to the conversation. Hal and Barry paused when they saw him with a knife and fork and watched as he cut off the top part of the pizza and stuffed it into his mouth.


“Uhh Bruce,” Barry continued to observe the billionaire’s use of cutlery.


“What are you doing?” Hal looked at him with disgust. “Is he being serious right now? Please tell me he’s joking. He can’t be serious.”


Kon walked by to pick up another slice and explained, “Yeah, he’s serious. Tim told me he even eats his burgers like that.”


“This is physically hurting me,” Hal grabbed his chest. “Barry it hurts make him stop!”


Hal collapsed back into Barry and the speedster open his arms to cradle him, “Bruce stop being such a posh rich boy! Pizza was made for the commoners! Use your hands!”


“Barry!” Hal continued his dramatic crying as Bruce stuck the fork in his mouth and chewed on the small piece of crust, sauce and cheese.


“Don’t look at him dear,” Barry pulled Hal closer to his chest.


“So, what did you want to talk about?” Bruce ignored the two idiots beside him. Clark looked down at Bruce’s utensils and back up at the straight man’s face. “What?”


Clark shook his head and took a seat across from Bruce, “I need a second view.” Clark took a slice for himself, “I’m wondering if I’m being a little too overprotective of Jon.”


“You are,” Kon and Lois synced before Clark could give any more insight.


“Well that answered your question,” Bruce stuffed another piece of pizza in his mouth.


“Really?” Clark snapped between Lois and Kon at the opposite sides of the room. They both gave him a sure look and Clark sunk into his seat.


“Okay, but not allowing Jon to spend the night over Kathy’s house wasn’t much right?” Clark looked up for reassurance and was surprised to be met with the same confused looks of his son the previous morning.


“Why wouldn’t you allow him to go over Kathy’s?” Lois stalked to a spot beside Bruce and folded her arms.


“Well,” Clark fiddled with his fingers, “you know he’s a growing boy, she’s a growing girl. I was scared things would you know, happen.”


“Happen?” Clark felt scared the way Lois narrowed her eyes down at him. “We raised our son better than that Clark.”


Bruce set down his knife and fork and clasped his hands, “I understand your concern when it comes to teenagers. Hormones and social pressure can convince them of many things but you’ve raised Jonathan to be a gentleman and I doubt he would do anything like that to Damian.”




“And I’m sure he doesn’t want Damian to impale him with Kryptonite,” Kon quipped. Clark furrowed his eyebrows at Lois and Bruce. Now he was the one confused.


“What does Damian have to do with all of this?” Clark asked.


Bruce, Lois and Kon froze. Bruce let his head fall into his hands and sighed, “Clark you cannot be serious right?”


Kon burst out laughing and grabbed the back of Clark’s chair to keep himself from tumbling to the ground, “Oh, this is gold! Oh wow! Are you for real! Wait till Tim hears this!”


“Sweetheart,” Lois took a deep breath in and massaged her temples, “please tell me that you are aware that Jon and Damian are dating.”


“Dating?” Jon and Damian. Damian and Jon. Dating? Dating… “Dating!”


“Oh no,” Lois shook her head.


Hal bounced out of Barry’s lap and melted into a shit-eating-grin, “Wait, wait, wait, so you’re telling me that Superman didn’t know that his son was banging it out with Batsy’s.” Bruce shot a warning glare over to Hal and the man flinched, “Sorry just a figure of speech.”


“Where’s Jon?” Lois asked now very aware of the missing presence of her son.


Clark ducked his head and kept his eyesight out of Bruce’s way, “Uhh, I may have…”


“You may have what?” Lois narrowed her eyes at her husband.


“I may have allowed Jon to spend the weekend over Damian,” Clark closed his eyes.


Bruce stopped midway through cutting his pizza and put down his utensils, “You mean this weekend when Damian had the entire mansion to himself.” Clark flinched at the hard edge in Bruce’s voice. Kon was in the background, knees already collapsed to the floor trying not to laugh while Barry and Hal sat there with their mouths hanging.


“I believe I remember Damian mentioning that.”


“Wait, wait, wait,” Hal held up his hands. “You're telling me that helicopter dad here practically gave his young son permission to go lock himself in a mansion and have sex with Batman’s son for an entire weekend.” Kon finally burst out laughing filling the room.


“Shut up, Hal.”


Barry raised his hand, “Hal I’m having a problem here.”


“And what might that be my speedster friend.”


“I’m not sure to classify, giving your son the pathway to losing his virginity under Worst Dad Ever or Best Dad Ever.”


“That is the question, my dear friend. That is the question.”


“They are both responsible people, we don’t know if….”


“Clark, be quiet.” Clark shut his mouth at Bruce’s tone.


“Don’t worry honey,” Lois kissed his cheek. Clark could count on his wife to comfort him. “I really doubt Jon was a virgin when he left.” And his soul has been shattered.


“Mom of the Year, everyone!” Kon raised his hand towards Lois in honour. Hal and Barry both get out of their seats to give a standing ovation. Clark was ready to wallow even more when he heard a figure approaching at lightning speed towards them. “Looks like the man of the hour is here.”


It didn’t take long till Jon came bursting through the doors, not even minding the people in the kitchen. He hummed the song ‘Uptown Funk it up’ while he danced to the fridge.


“You’re in a good mood,” Lois put the dirty dishes in the sink.


“Oh, Mom,” Jon pushed his head up and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “I had a great day. Amazing day!” Jon sighed with a sweet tone.


“We got pizza,” Kon handed over the box to Jon.


“Cool,” Jon snapped out of his daydream and took the box from his brother. “I’m just going to head up to my room and finish up some homework.”


“Cool,” Kon and Lois nodded before sharing a look.  


Jon continued to hum his song very ignorant of his guests and their observing eyes on him. Just before he leaves the kitchen he catches sight of his father and stops midway between the door. “Dad.”


Clark tries to keep the best look that any devastated, self-loathing parent could have, “Yeah, Jon.”


“Uhh, well I guess you’re… you’re a lot cooler than I thought,” Jon gave him an awkward smile before heading off to his room. With a resound shut of the door Hal took a deep breath, “Man, Clark, your boy just slid in here whistling UpTown Funk It Up, with the biggest smile on his face, he didn’t just get laid, he got sent to heaven.”


The chair screeched against the floor when Bruce got up. He smoothed out the wrinkles in his suit before neatly tucking the chair under the table. He put a hand on Clark’s shoulder and spoke with a hard voice, “We’ll talk later.” Clark nodded without a complaint. He’ll push the terrifying thoughts of what Bruce had in store for him off to later tonight.


“I got to say,” Barry snickered at Hal. “The Bat glare is cool now that we aren’t the targets.”


“It is really enjoyable to watch,” Hal agreed. Clark was making sure they never stepped foot in his house again.


“Oh cheer up big guy!” Hal laughed. “It’s not the end of the world. You’re like Dad of the Year.”


“Dad of the Year?” Clark whispered to himself and felt something inside him die. Dad of the Year.