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From: jasmine.marshall@shield.gov
To: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, August 18, 2011
Subject: New betting pool???

As I'm sure you're aware, Phil Coulson and Clint Barton are both filling in at the Academy this semester, since Barton broke his leg and we all know Coulson's not going anywhere near the field without him. ;-)

They'll both be stuck at hq with no missions for three months, so... SITWELL! When are we going to hear about a new betting pool??? We have to hope that one of these days one or the other of them will finally say something, and I for one would love the opportunity to win my fellow agents' hard-earned cash, so what's it gonna be???

-Jas

--

From: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
To: jasmine.marshall@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, August 18, 2011
Subject: Re: New betting pool???

Really? Let's do this.

--

From: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
To: melinda.may@shield.gov, and 132 others
BCC: nicholas.fury@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, August 18, 2011
Subject: The Great Barton-Coulson Pool of 2011

Gather round, gather round,

As you may know, Agents Phil Coulson and Clint Barton will both be stuck at hq for the next three months, since Barton's a klutz who likes to fall off buildings and Coulson lets him. They will both be teaching courses at the Academy. They are also hopelessly gone on each other and engaged in mutually oblivious pining that makes you wonder how anyone let them get above level 5.

This's where you all come in. Some of you (looking at you, Melinda), know how this works. Others of you are practically children. Fifty bucks buys you a day. Winners are determined when May, Fury, or I verify that they have indeed pulled their heads out of their asses and gotten together. If multiple people pick the same day, they split the pot. If no one picks the day, the pot will go to the widow/ers and orphans fund. I keep the book; I keep the money. When the pot gets over 10k, Fury keeps the money. If you tell Barton or Coulson what's going on, all the money goes to the fund and you never get to place a bet in New York again. Capiche?

Let the games begin.

JS

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From: melinda.may@shield.gov
To: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, August 18, 2011
Subject: Re: The Great Barton-Coulson Pool of 2011

May God and Phil Coulson have mercy on your soul.

--

From: nicholas.fury@shield.gov
To: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, August 18, 2011
Subject: Re: The Great Barton-Coulson Pool of 2011

Cheese is going to be furious when he finds out. This is great.

Put me down for Sept 13, Oct 6, Oct 24, Nov 18, Dec 6, and Dec 28.

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gemma.fergusson 9/6/2011 10:30
Did you just see that??????

kalani.silva 9/6/2011 10:36
What? The part where C got all misty-eyed about safehouses in Bosnia or the straight-up longing when he was waxing poetic about B’s shot?

gemma.fergusson 9/6/2011 10:37
EXACTLY

gemma.fergusson 9/6/2011 10:37
What day do you think I should get in the pool? Is Saturday too late?

kalani.silva 9/6/2011 10:39
From what Sitwell was saying, it sounds like they’ve been like this for a while. I think mid-March might be a better bet, tbh.

gemma.fergusson 9/6/2011 10:40
>:-p

--

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:12
Is it just me, or is Barton attributing every last minute save to one of Coulson's plans?

balthazar.grey 9/28/2011 13:13
It’s not just you

jeanette.marion 9/28/2011 13:15
Except for Bucharest. That one was apparently just a fluke of the weather.

balthazar.grey 9/28/2011 13:21
"Don't forget to plan ahead. I can't list the number of times Ph--Coulson pulled out Plan Q which turned out to be just what we needed."

balthazar.grey 9/28/2011 13:22
Oh my god, I can't stand this anymore.

charles.miranda 9/28/2011 13:26
If it helps, I made a bingo board.
Attachment: B-C_pining_bingo.jpg

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:28
Oh my god, Chuck.

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:29
"Five name-drops in a row before saying anyone else's name"

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:29
"First name slip"

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:30
"Mention a mission before the Widow's recruitment that was 'just the two of them'"

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:31
"Budapest"

liana.bennett 9/28/2011 13:31
Oh my god this is gold

jeanette.marion 9/28/2011 13:52
Bingo

--

maribel.thomas 10/21/2011 15:52
Hey, do you want to go for tapas tonight?

kendall.garcia 10/21/2011 15:56
Ugh. Love to, but can't. I spent way too much this month on Sitwell's stupid pool.

maribel.thomas 10/21/2011 15:57
Seriously???

kendall.garcia 10/21/2011 15:58
Yeah... I just... Every time I turned around, they were meeting up after class for dinner or they'd just come from coffee. I thought it was a sure thing. :-/

maribel.thomas 10/21/2011 15:59
If I didn't know for a fact that Barton had game, I would have sworn they were both completely incompetent morons who had never so much had a daydream about asking another person out.

kendall.garcia 10/21/2011 16:01
Tell me about it

maribel.thomas 10/21/2011 16:03
So, tapas tonight? My treat

kendall.garcia 10/21/2011 16:04
If you're sure

maribel.thomas 10/21/2011 16:05
C'mon, I gotta prove I've got more game than Coulson somehow.

kendall.garcia 10/21/2011 16:05
It's a date.

--

From: phillip.coulson@shield.gov
To: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
CC: clint.barton@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, November 17, 2011
Subject: "Great Barton-Coulson Pool"

Agent Sitwell,

I would like to place two bets in your pool, known colloquially as the "Barton-Coulson Get-It-On-A-Thon," on behalf of both myself and Agent Barton. As agents in good standing at SHIELD, we are both entitled to place such bets. I will make sure the $100 is couriered to Director Fury's office with all haste.

We would like to select tomorrow, Friday, November 18, 2011 in the pool. I believe the pot is in excess of $32,000 by now?

With all thanks,

Special Agent Phil Coulson

--

From: jasper.sitwell@shield.gov
To: phillip.coulson@shield.gov
CC: clint.barton@shield.gov
Date: Thursday, November 17, 2011
Subject: Re: "Great Barton-Coulson Pool"

Screw you both very much, thanks. I'm not even going to ask how you found out, but is it too much to hope for you to take your good friend out for a steak dinner?

--

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 20:32
I know it was you. Why did you tell them???

nicholas.fury 11/17/2011 20:48
Sitwell, if I wanted them to know, I wouldn't have had to tell them.

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 20:49
It was May, wasn't it

nicholas.fury 11/17/2011 20:52
Of course it was May.

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 20:52
And I can't even yell at her for it, can I?

nicholas.fury 11/17/2011 20:53
I wouldn't advise it, no.

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 22:47
Why did you pick those days?

nicholas.fury 11/17/2011 22:50
Now why would I tell you that?

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 22:51
Because Phil and Clint are probably making eyes at each other across a bar right now waiting for midnight, so the intel's not valuable to you anymore. So spill.

nicholas.fury 11/17/2011 22:58
Sept 13, Tucson. Oct 6, Budapest. Oct 24, Arkhangelsk. Nov 18, Brussels. Dec 6, Shenzhen. Dec 28, Buenos Aires.

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 23:01
They're all the anniversaries of missions where one of them almost didn't make it.

jasper.sitwell 11/17/2011 23:02
Damn, that's romantic.

nicholas.fury 11/17/2011 23:03
And that's why you never bet against the house.