Chapter 1: the one where lance makes a mistake
lance has added keith, shiro, allura, pidge, hunk, coran and matt to 'lady gaga is a lesbian'
labce: y hello there
labce: ive gathered you all here today
shirio: lance what is this
labce: to say that lady gaga is a lesbian
labce: damnit shiro you ruined it
shirio: 1. language and 2. sorry
sunboy: see now u upset shiro
shirio: im not upset
sunboy: he may never forgive us
labce: oh no what have i done
alluba: Lance!!!!!!! did!!!!! you!!!!!! make!!!!!!! my!!!!!!!! husband!!!!!!!! sad!?!??!??!?!?!?!!??
mbitch: i heard sad shirt
greendye: shirt and why are you texting us in a group called lady gaga is a lesbian
labce has changed 'keith' to 'xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx'
xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx: ,,,,, okay so i hate this already and ive only been here for like less than a minute
labce: its my job to make everyone as miserable as possible in the shortest amount of time
sunboy: as his best friend of 14 years i can 100% confirm this statement
xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx: wait plesae say pidge is here i dont wanna suffer alone
greendye: its me, ya gender neutral friend, uhh, skinny penis
xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx: oh thank fuck
alluba: i love that hes not complaining about his name
xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx: its a they/them day i beg
alluba: oop ok
shirio: see, last night i noticed a /dent/ in the ice cream
shirio: can you see where im going with this?
xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx: im sorry shiro also can someone /plesae/ change my name?
greendye: i got u
greendye has changed 'xX_CoolEmo1028_Xx' to 'keitheth'
keitheth: yknow what
labce: SO ANYWAYS
sunboy: oh no here we go again
labce: WHAT I REALLY GATHERED YOU ALL HERE TO SAY IS
sunboy: ignore him
labce: HUNKY BOY HERE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!
sunboy: wait for it
labce: AND I DO TOO?!!?!?
greendye: uh cool but you forget im aroace and have no idea why youre so hyped over this
shirio: ignore them, congrats to you lutendant garr-clain
mbitch: was that a
mbitch: whatever and yeah congrats boys
alluba: about time you stop complaining to me about being lonely
labce: al L U R a
shirio: uh keith?
shirio: you alive over there bud?
keitheth: yeah, yeah i was finishing stuff
greendye: what 'stuff'
greendye: whoops gotta blast-
greendye > keitheth
greendye: hey you okay?
call ended (3:56:23)
greendye: please take care of yourself i hate seeing you so shriveled and sad
keitheth: ughbhgbh but it takes so much EFFORT!
greendye: i know keith
greendye: i know
Chapter 2: wall-e is a struggle movie
keith is sad, shalluratt is quaking and hunk just wants his spices put back in their correct spots
shirio > lady gaga is a lesbian
mbitch: oh no dont bring the kids into this
shirio: who here thinks the earth is a star?
keitheth: context please? (also its he/him pls and ty)
alluba: i personally think its a planet, not a star. (ok beith)
sunboy: sorry man but i think its a planet
shirio: so we all think (except for keith who didnt answer, pidge, and matt) that earth is a planet?
labce: if my math isnt wrong, ye
keitheth: i think its a planet but im open to all opinions
sunboy: keith = a saint
shirio: so, matt, please, tell the children what /you/ think the earth is
mbitch: a star
greendye: let me jsut get google real fast
greendye: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK
mbitch: IM DIVORCING GOOGLE THANKS
alluba: im going back to sleep
keitheth: same allura
sunboy: its??? 1pm???
keitheth: do you think that matters to us?
shirio: hunk do you wanna go out nd get some wendys while these utter idiots sleep their lives away?
sunboy: sounds festive im in
keitheth: shiroo :( can u bring me a salad with strawberries and pecans?
shirio: you have to come with us
shirio: no exceptions
keitheth: are yyou taking the minivan or the 300?
shirio: minivan cause im also taking matt
keitheth: im taking the whole back row and keep the windows tinted
labce: keith is spoiled and its amazing
alluba: he is. i would know.
alluba: but we love him, sadly
shirio > keitheth
shirio: why are you actually coming with?
keitheth: i wanted my salad
keitheth: i wanted to hang out with you
shirio: we couldve hung out anyways! i can always make time for you, youre my little brother!
keitheth is typing
shirio: keith i know what youre gonna say dont even try
keitheth: not by bloo
shirio: scale it 1-10
shirio: you can stay in bed and when i get back we can watch wall-e, how does that sound?
mbitch > lady gaga is a lesbian
mbitch: "no exeptions" my ass
shirio: matt, 7, wall-e, sprite
mbitch: sir yes sir
labce: can we ask?
alluba: keith is sad, on a scale of 1/10 is a 7, wall-e is a 'struggle movie' as they phrase it, and same thing with sprite except its a drink
sunboy: i- wo
labce: you guys
labce: give the boy love
greemdye: @keitheth HEY WE LOVE YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT
labce: see, thats not how you show love pidgey
greendye: its how i do it
labce: its like this; keith we love you a lot ok and i know we dont exactly radiate a loving energy in this god forsaken chat but we really do live you and eachother <3
shirio: keith i have your salad
keitheth: thank you shiro and i guess i love you guys too
sunboy: see, i would be offended if you were anyone else
labce: see i would be offended if you w
labce: holy shit
greendye: it really yabba dabba do be like that
alluba > lady gaga is a lesbian (lmao like 2 hours later)
labce: hes soft im
sunboy: see thats the loml right there
greendye: see he comes off as all tough n shit but hes fucking dainty and we love him
mbitch: when i was in there with them, keith was sprawled out over me and shiro and guys
mbitch: he PURRS
greendye: thats the first time uve heard him purr?//
greendye: hes purrs a ton over at our house
greendye: when we're stimming or watching buzzfeed unsolved, or when i scratch his scalp
greendye: he can get really soft. im surprised this is the first time hes done it around you guys
shirio: i finally pried my phone from under him without him waking
shirio: uh i shouldnt explain the purring situation here
shirio: i knew he purred already
shirio: but its not my place to tell why he doesnt do it a lot :/
sunboy: space dad uses emojis im screaminf
Chapter 3: the one where the team finds stuff out about keith
keitheth: and then there was one (1)
labce: im gonna delete my account i fucking swear
keitheth: and then there was zero (0)
greendye: what bitch u dont count?
yo hey hi so in case u havent noticed, theres a warning on this book, "rape/non-con"
this is the explanation basically
so yeah this may be triggering to some people, and im sorry that in basically every chapter theres some new keith drama shit, im a weak man. like i said, tred with caution.
yo hey hi so in case u havent noticed, theres a warning on this book, "rape/non-con"
this is the explanation basically
so yeah this may be triggering to some people, and im sorry that in basically every chapter theres some new keith drama shit, im a weak man. like i said, tred with caution. (copied and pasted from the summary)
uh so tl;dr if u dont wanna read the parts where uh keith explains his 'thing' (sorry not tryna be rude, i just dont enjoy saying that word like its an object and not a serious subject) but basically keith used to date rolo (will be mentioned) and he was forced into non-con sex, and then went to shiro whilst in the midst of a breakdown and a few days later tried to kill himself.
yeah thats a lot of stuff you might not wanna read so if you dont like that, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE skip this chapter! i dont want anyone to read something that triggers a memory or hurts them so please just,, take care of yourself both mentally and physically.
labce > lady gaga is a lesbian
shirio: thats a concerning amount of '!'s
shirio: so please explain before i come to your home and check to see if marco has stolen your phone
alluba: do tell, lance!
greendye: its 2:30 why did you wake me up
shirio: pidge... no....
greendye: pidge yes
alluba: ?? lonce???
mbitch: oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead
keitheth: i- im alive wh
labce: aa sorry i had to wrestle my phone from kendra
labce: for my news!!!!!
greendye: [cracks knuckles] its party time bitches
labce has added RolloingDownTheStreet
??RolloingDownTheStreet: sup fuckers
sunboy: why do you have my phone?!
??RolloingDownTheStreet: fuck you Thats why!!
shirio: okay Boys lets introduce ourselves.
shirio: shiro, gay, astrologist, dating allura and matt, he/him
keitheth: keith, also gay, studying astrology in college, single hoe, he/they
alluba: allura, pansexual, still deciding, refer to shiro's message, she/her
labce: the names lance ;), bisexual, studying marine biology, dating nyma, he/him
mbitch: matt, bi, a nurse at the hospital down altea strt, refer to shiros msg, he/him
greendye: pidge, aroace, highschooler, single duh, they/them
sunboy: hunk, panromantic heterosexual, studying cuisine, dating shay, he/him
RolloingDownTheStreet: so im rolo, bisexual, studying mechanics, single, he/him
alluba: like, rolo? rolo?
keitheth: holy siht
RolloingDownTheStreet: wait keith?
sunboy: whats going on
greendye: shit holy shit lance get rolo out of here
greendye: lance NOW
RolloingDownTheStreet: i believe we got off on the wrong foot.
labce has removed 'RolloingDownTheStreet' from 'lady gaga is a lesbian'!
sunboy: what was that??
keitheth: bkock hin
labce: woah woah woah
labce: are you okay??
shirio: lance please give him a minute
shirio: ill explain everything if he gives me the okay
greendye: can i dm him?
shirio: he said yeah pidge, and i can explain
shirio: so a few months ago, keith dated rolo. they were doing good, in a happy, healthy relationship until rolo wanted to take it further. you all know keith is ace, and demi, correct? well, he didnt want anything like that, but rolo, being a selfish asshole forced him to, well, have sex. rape, if you will.
shirio: and if youre wondering why he never told you, he really doesnt like talking about it, especially since rolo was a sadist. he was hurt and we ended up bringing him to the hospital because some wounds got infected.
shirio: afterwards, he came to me in the middle of a panic attack, and had a shutdown. thats when we really found out he was touch averse.
shirio: about a week later he tried to kill himself.
labce: jesus christ
labce: wait is that why he always gets so defensive when i joke about him being single??
alluba: it took ages for him to trust people again, and seeing as it was only 9 months ago, hes come a long way in a very short amount of time.
mbitch: guys, it seems kinda bad so dont force him to talk to you, okay?
sunboy: im baking him a cake. you cant stop me
greendye: can i bring the stim toys over and hang out with him?
shirio: hunk, make sure to use soy or almond milk, pidge, yeah and bring the blanket too
labce: can i come over too? i can bring some movies?
shirio: you basically live here, all of you. so yeah you guys can all come if you want.
alluba: hunk, why dont you bring the ingredients and we bake together?
sunboy: im down! :)
shirio: keith is crying wh
shirio: this is keith and i love you ghusy so much alsdkahs
shirio: he snatched my phone sorry
shirio: but he really does love you guys, more than he lets on.
mbitch: he always raves about how you guys are cooalsjfa;lsdjigh
alluba: be gentle with him. he comes off as strong but hes a very delicate person when it comes down to it.
greendye has changed 'lady gaga is a lesbian' to 'sunny k'
sunboy: is that a sunny d reference-
greendye: indeed it is, hink
keitheth: sorry about that, i didnt mean to ruin the fun :/
labce: Keith you're an idiot.
labce: Let Me Finish.
labce: you shouldnt be saying sorry for reacting the way you did. you were forced into something you didnt want, of course when the person who did it comes back into your life after such a short amount of time youre gonna freak out! so stop. saying. sorry. for your emotions.
mbitch: hes crying again
greendye: unlock the door allura
labce: i picked all of them up so we're all here and pidge has an ominous red and green box
keitheth > 'sunny k' (a few hours later)
keitheth: i love you guys. i dont say it enough but i do.
keitheth: good night
Chapter 4: hiatus (not a chapter whoops)
yoo so i uh---
basically im taking a hiatus 😳😳😳😳😳
im not tired of the vld fandom (im still v here, dont worry) and i still love this book,, but
me having and keeping motivation is like eating soup with a fork ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
dont think im leaving u gays okay? ily and i love reading your comments uwu
Chapter 5: the one where keith gets high and spills the tea
i changed some names because i couldnt be bothered to remember what their old names were
keitheth has changed their name to stardust!
stardust: im feelin a fancy today
stardust: *tips hat* yoohoo men
shirio: hes high off of allergy meds
stardust: i do.nt tidfh
stardust: i don/t/ th*inbk i
stardust: i .dot
bibibabyblue: take ur time
stardust: i dont think yourte udsing that prhase correctingly
bibibabyblue: there u go
greendye: i feel bad,,,,, for laughin,,g, but this is him releasing all his crackhead energy that hes pent up
shirio: yes honey?
matata: how many allergy pills did you give him?
matata: no wonder hes tripping balls rn
alluragingpansexual: i woke up to keith sscreaming the stupid reeces cup cereal song
stardust: im a fucing GOF
stardust: its colf
bibibabyblue: its the same temp as always??'
stardust: oh wormj
stardust: anywayd i tnink selena gomes is sa whore
stardust: FAVE IT SHES A SLKUT
shirio: GUYS HE GOT HIS WEIRD ALIEN KNIFE AJSDHA
shirio: HAHEHASD HE HAS A CORKBOARD FULL OF SELENA GOMEZ THEORIESAHSDHASDHASHDAH
pinacutelada: JSDADJASDHASHDAHHAHHAHAHAHA KEITHDNFJ
bibibabyblue: IM SOBBIGNDN GJSN
greendye: IM ACTRUAKKY ABOT TO PISS MYSLEAHSHADHASHDASHDAHSDASHDAHAHAHA
shirio: "THATS HOW SHE GOT VAGINAL CANCER" HSAABSFTR78NUVSSYDRNGFsdfhsdgDHFBAKSDGFADFAHUN
shirio: iM SDRMAW
greendye: im so glad i could witness that holy shit
shirio: i can t believe this
pinacutelada: i guess lance and keith are having a bonding moment?
matata: keith is /still/ mad about that
matata: like he'll message me at 2 am like
matata: mAtT wE hAd A bOndInG mOmENt aND hE dIdNT rEmemBER
shirio: im related to him..........
shirio: WAIT NO