So this was what it felt like, after.
Ryo found it impossible to focus on his work. Took no comfort whatsoever in the paperwork he had often used to take his mind off Dee and all the trouble the man had brought into his life, because there was no longer anything to fight against. Dee had finally won.
Not that Ryo minded much at all.
But still, everything felt different, and he was sure everyone could tell. He felt like sending out a memo to the department: Yes, we finally did it, and yes, I guess that means I'm gay. Hope that's okay, because I'm won't change, and neither will Dee. MacLean.
Of course, this had all happened weeks ago, life stalled momentarily by a complicated case and the type of miscommunication that could only happen between two guys. They had only had sex twice in that span, or three times, if you counted the fact they had done it twice last night.
Ryo didn't, really. So twice, which wasn't nearly enough.
"Yo," Dee said, sitting down on the edge of Ryo's desk, stretching out his long legs. His pants were freshly ironed, the creases still crisp and no tell-tall signs of Dee's lunch yet. The urge to touch his leg was strong, but Ryo ignored it. Work wasn't the place for them.
Not like that, anyway.
"Can I help you?" Ryo asked, pushing the paperwork aside and looking around quickly before leaning forward. Dee grinned at him, and maybe, Ryo thought, they had only really done it once, because the first time hadn't been that good, for a variety of reasons.
If twice wasn't nearly enough, once was downright criminal.
"You're blushing," Dee murmured, smiling. "Jeez. Red as a fucking tomato, man."
Ryo glared down at his desk. "Well, if you'd stop leering at me. We're at work."
"You think everybody doesn't know already? I'm totally acting out of character here. If we hadn't done it, I'd be all over you, trying to rip off your clothes." Dee tapped his chin thoughtfully, humming. "Not a bad idea, if I do say so myself. I'll lock the door ..."
"Or not," he added, laughing. "Hey, you want to have dinner tonight? At my place, and leave that little bastard at home. Once he figures it out - and he will, this time around - I'm gonna have to watch my nuts. You should just get rid of all sharp objects now."
"He'll be fine."
Dee's eyes widened comically. "Memo to Ryo: Bikky hates me."
"He does not. He's just jealous of you."
Dee made a face. "Sick little fucker, isn't he?"
"Not like that," Ryo said, chuckling and slapping Dee on the knee, then leaving his hand there for a heartbeat too long. The blinds on the windows were wide open, and the door hadn't been properly shut, and it was brave and foolish of him to even let it linger there.
"You sure you don't want to do it? I could find a squad car ..."
"No, but I will have dinner with you. And you don't have to worry about Bikky. He and Carol are at summer camp, remember? For a whole week," Ryo added casually, enjoying the way Dee stiffened immediately, a silly grin spreading over his face. "You knew that."
"I keep forgetting. I have a mental block when it comes to that annoying little pest."
"You like Carol."
"The Bikky thing again. If he's involved, I've pushed it from my mind."
Ryo snorted lightly, leaning back in his chair and nearly flipping over when he caught sight of JJ pressed up against the glass, staring in at them like a serial killer. Ryo knew the look of a sociopath intimately. He had investigated enough of them.
"Please let me kiss you," Dee begged, "please, please, please. It'll kill him ..."
"... give him the best hard-on of his life! Please, please, please ..."
"Okay," Ryo said, bracing for Dee's added weight and praying the chair wouldn't break beneath them. Dee put his hands on Ryo's shoulders, climbing on, and the chair began to roll back, completely out of his control. It was almost fun, except the way it wasn't, especially when the chair, and his head, hit the wall. This was such a bad idea. Ryo lifted his gaze to Dee's face, hoping Dee would have the sense enough to agree.
Any feelings of guilt or hesitation that had lingered at the back of his brain flittered away, and any thoughts of JJ left his mind completely. Dee was a handsome man, no doubt about it, and when he smiled, it was impossible to ignore just how beautiful he was. Chiselled features, and jet-black hair meticulously arranged, and Ryo could easily stare all day.
A stronger man than he was would have succumbed immediately. Ryo had never stood a chance.
Dee put a hand on Ryo's cheek, tipping his head back, sliding his mouth against Ryo's parted lips. Gently at first, just a hint of the kiss that Ryo so desperately needed, then deeper, with the precision and skill of a man who not only loved kissing but had done it a lot.
That was something to talk about later. Something they should have talked about, after.
Ryo was pretty sure they were monogamous now, playing in the realm of boyfriends, but he couldn't be one-hundred-percent. He had never done this before, with anybody, long ago choosing a solitary life that would lead to a solitary death, where he would be unmissed and un-mourned, causing no pain. That plan had begun to crumble with Bikky.
Dee had utterly destroyed it.
He kissed like a demon, too. Ryo pushed up against him, reaching into Dee's thick hair and tugging him closer, pleased when Dee hummed happily and slid a tongue into his mouth, brazen to the bitter end, but that was Dee in a nutshell. The man was shameless.
"Hey!" Chief barked, throwing the door open, shattering the glass in the centre of it, the one with their names on it. Ryo sat back guiltily, but Dee glared, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, staying perched on Ryo's lap. "I'm not paying you idiots to screw."
Dee rolled his eyes. "That was hardly screwing, you prudish old badger."
"I know you have work to do, you little asshole. Do it," Chief growled.
"Are you discriminating against me and my boyfriend?" Dee waved an ineffectual fist as Ryo looked for some way to bow out of this gracefully, but Dee was heavier than he looked, and as immovable as he was stubborn. "I'll report you, you bitter old walrus!"
"I'll report you for being an idiot!"
"I don't think that'll be news to anyone," Ryo said, before he could stop himself, but it did defuse the situation, because Chief was laughing too hard to yell at them and Dee was spluttering too hard to give Chief even more reasons to yell. "It won't happen again, sir."
Chief grunted. "Just remember to shut the door next time."
"Understood," Ryo assured him. "And close the blinds."
Chief finally noticed JJ, who had a plastic butter knife in his hand, miming the motions of what Ryo could only assume was his own grisly murder. Dee didn't even notice. JJ had his own sort of special place in Dee's life, as hard to ignore as Bikky, but with adult weapons in his arsenal. In the end, Bikky couldn't do anything to stop them.
JJ could shoot them.
Ryo frowned, placing one hand on Dee's chest and pushing. "Do your work," he said, levelling a series of intense glares at the mounds of paperwork between them. Dee looked over his shoulder, sighed, then immediately started pouting. Ryo laughed. "Go. Now."
Dee slid off his lap, standing up tall and running a quick hand over his pants and shirt, straightening up. He turned his head towards JJ then childishly stuck out his tongue. Ryo chuckled into his coffee, which was empty save for the cold black sludge at the bottom.
After that interlude, the afternoon passed even slower than it had been. So much paperwork, and Dee had slumped into his chair, snoring loudly, which was all Dee would be contributing to the effort, according to precedent. Ryo did the paperwork, and Dee slept. Then they went out, escaped various bombs and armies of goons, caught some bad guys, and then, after, made out at inappropriate times.
Dee woke up briefly muttering something about bananas, but one look at Ryo relaxed him, and he drooped back into his impromptu nap, a little drool at the corner of his mouth. Cute, Ryo thought, blushing again, and tried to make his stupid eyes focus.
In the battle of paperwork versus Dee, Dee won, hands down, total knockout.
God, Ryo was turning into Dee. What a scary thought.
Ryo forced himself to get through two cases, sitting up straight, building a wall of case-logs between him and Dee, so he didn't have to look at him, tempted to daydream. The Chief didn't deserve the ulcer that would cause. The change into Dee could be stopped.
With the dedication of Ryo-the-Virgin, Ryo pushed his way to the end then slammed the finished items down on the desk, jolting Dee out of his nap. He peered at Ryo with wide sleepy eyes then grinned like a hyena. "Are we done? Can we go home and ... eat?"
"We're done," Ryo confirmed, "no thanks to you. Did you sleep well?"
"Wonderfully, thank you." Dee got up and walked around the desk between them, leaning over Ryo's shoulder. Ryo tried not to shiver, even if Dee smelled unnaturally nice, and he was still warm from sleep, the type of warmth Ryo enjoyed on a purely innocent level. It reminded him of his childhood, when he'd been terrified of thunder and always crawled into his parents' bed, eyes shimmering with unshed tears, convinced of monsters.
Ryo wondered, briefly, what his parents would think of Dee. If they would be happy for him, because Dee really loved him and was obviously good for him. Or if they would be a little disappointed, because he had turned out like this. He liked to pretend that they had known about him before they died, that they had accepted it and hadn't minded at all.
That he hadn't known about himself was of no consequence.
But there was no point in dwelling. His parents were dead, and Dee's parents were dead, even though Dee still had Mother, who had approved of them, despite being a nun. Ryo didn't know her that well, only that he had immediately adored her, and that she had been kind to him. Maybe now that he and Dee were together, he'd get to know her a little bit better.
"What're you thinking about?" Dee asked, draping Ryo's coat across Ryo's shoulders, then pulling on his own. When Ryo didn't answer, Dee tapped him on the forehead a few times. "Earth to Ryo. What's up? You're not ... please tell me you're not standing me up for dinner. Or," Dee's face took on a look of horror, "having seconds thoughts ..."
Ryo smiled, and shook his head. "No, no second thoughts. Just thinking about us, and my parents, I guess. Wondering about things I'll never know the answer to. Stupid, huh?"
"Nah," Dee decided, offering his hand then pulling Ryo out of his chair when he took it. "I'm sure they'd love me. I'm loveable, right? Your mom would probably have a crush on me. I'm handsome, and funny, and okay, my work ethic is a little skewed, but ..."
"You're modest, too."
"I can't help that I was born into this perfect body," Dee agreed, grinning.
Ryo grinned back. "I know I'm not complaining."
Dee laughed then sobered immediately, apparently remembering that this chit-chat was holding him up from his goal, which likely had something to do with food and sex, though in what order, Ryo couldn't guess. And he was entirely sure Dee meant him to cook, because Dee was fundamentally lazy, and tended to burn things due to impatience.
"Should we stop at the store on our way home?"
"Oh, probably," Dee said, steering Ryo through the precinct, occasionally pausing to kick someone shouting out grossly indecent comments. That was a little different. Where it had once been teasing, now it was a little knowing, but Ryo didn't mind that much. Dee had been consistently wearing away at his inhibitions for months, and now they were mostly gone. Good riddance. He liked this new Ryo, even if he still blushed too easily.
Outside of the precinct, Dee looped his arm through Ryo's and led him down the street. People stared, but Ryo took comfort in two things: his boyfriend was likely hotter than their partners were, and he was armed. Just one of New York's finest, happily strolling along with his boyfriend. Nothing to see here, folks, just move right along.
"Are you as horny as I am?" Dee asked, pressing his nose against Ryo's cheek.
"Is that possible?"
"Give me time," Dee promised, reaching back to squeeze Ryo's ass, laughing when Ryo yelped and tried to kick him. It was hard to break old habits, he supposed, and he'd been fighting Dee off much longer than he'd been reeling him in. But now that Dee mentioned it, he was pretty horny, so he didn't mind when Dee slid a hand into his back pocket.
They walked like that for a while, Dee squeezing occasionally, Ryo distracted only momentarily from planning dinner. Steak, with a caesar salad and a baked potato, and maybe a couple various vegetables, if Dee would eat them. It was like cooking for Bikky sometimes, except Dee wasn't a thirteen-year-old boy, no matter how hard he tried to be.
Dee stayed outside to smoke while Ryo went into the grocery store, quickly moving his way around, a plastic basket hooked on his arm. He picked the two biggest steaks, and the weirdest looking potatoes, and a head of vibrantly green romaine lettuce. A bottle of wine, too, though they were both notorious for passing out from wine, especially when things started getting good. Ryo was sure that would no longer stop Dee, but he wanted to be awake, too. He was just beginning to get the hang of sex. He needed more practice.
He paid for everything with the money Dee had shoved at him then found Dee outside, stubbing out his smoke with the toe of his shoe. Dee smiled and kissed him, and then they were on their merry way again, arms full of groceries and each other. Balancing the two was tedious and complicated, but Ryo didn't feel like separating either.
Back at the apartment, Dee knocked his knuckles on Ryo's head. "I'm going to take a quick shower. Why don't you start dinner, and then I'll finish it when you get in?"
"Sure, whatever," Ryo said, already heading for Dee's kitchen.
"I'll be naked."
Ryo paused slightly then licked his lips. "I'll, um, keep that in mind."
Dee leered once then disappeared into the bathroom, dropping his clothes as he went. Ryo turned back to the kitchen, which didn't seem nearly as enticing. But they had to eat, if only for the energy Ryo knew he was going to need tonight. Dee was insatiable, and likely to keep him up until the wee hours. Ryo needed all the extra help he could get.
He prepped the steaks, and washed the lettuce and the potatoes, opening the wine to let it breathe, routing around in Dee's fridge to find salad dressing, using the few scraggly ends of bread he found to make croutons. He hummed tunelessly to himself then laughed when Dee started to sing in the shower and all the neighbourhood dogs chimed in.
Dee padded into the kitchen with a towel around his neck and low-slung cotton pants barely hanging onto his hips. Ryo hissed as he singed his hand on the grill, too distracted by Dee's sexiness, which was probably the point. Dee swaggered up to him, draping an arm across his shoulders and kissing him on the temple. "Looks delicious," he said lazily.
Ryo snorted, sucking on his burnt finger. "There's nothing special about it."
"Wasn't talking about the food, dumbass." Dee's arms slid around Ryo's waist, his nimble fingers untwisting Ryo's tie then unbuttoning his shirt, one by one, as a delicate tongue licked at the shell of his ear. Ryo sucked in, and held his breath. "Mm, nice."
"What?" Ryo asked, watching as each button flicked out of its hole and the sides of his shirt spread further and further apart, Dee slipping his fingers under the edges, cool on his skin.
"You. What else?" Dee hummed happily in his ear, reaching up to pinch at one of Ryo's nipples, before flattening his hand against Ryo's chest and sliding it down to Ryo's belly, pausing at his belt then undoing that, too. "Oh, man, I've been thinking about this all fucking day."
"Me too," Ryo admitted, "but I have to cook dinner. Can it wait?"
"Nope," Dee replied, popping open the button on his pants then slowly drawing down his zipper. Ryo tried to ignore him, determined to go back to drying and ripping up the lettuce. Dee needed to learn a little self-control, and Ryo wasn't willing to be this ... Dee-like. They couldn't just screw around all the time. Had to act like adults. Had to ...
"Stop fighting me," Dee said, reaching into Ryo's shorts, grabbing his cock.
"Dinner," Ryo protested weakly.
"We've got a couple minutes before the steaks are done, and I'll do the salad, okay? Just, please, let me, jeez, waited all day," and Ryo knew Dee wasn't going to listen to him. Lust had infected his brain, glazing over his eyes and reducing him to a drooling mess.
Stopping him now would just be cruel.
Ryo closed his eyes, focussing on the determined touch of Dee's hand. This was different, too, because Dee was taking his time, and that wasn't exactly normal for Dee. Slowly walking his fingers around the soft skin on Ryo's lower belly, the length of his shamelessly hard dick, the damp skin between his legs, even his balls, even behind them.
Dee chuckled lowly, flattening his hand and using his palm to rediscover all the territory he had just mapped out. Ryo leaned back into him, resting his head on Dee's shoulder, pushing his hips forward, right into Dee's greedy hand. He shivered when Dee's mouth kissed at his exposed throat, a tongue snaking out between his lips to wet his heated skin.
"I don't know how nobody managed to fuck your brains out before me, man. You're so ready for this," Dee said, sounding ridiculously amazed, and Ryo blushed. There had been offers, from men and women both, but they had never been even slightly tempting.
"Nobody, uh," Ryo thrust his hips again, his legs wobbling wildly, "um, nobody ..."
"Caught your interest? Hey, fine by me, buddy. That means you're all mine."
Ryo smiled sheepishly, and nodded, and curled his toes into tight little knots in his socks. Whimpered a little, too, when Dee suddenly stopped and stepped back, and then felt the same rush of anger that Dee always inspired in him. He wouldn't yell, oh no, but he'd make Dee pay in some other way. Force him to babysit Bikky overnight or something.
But before Ryo could engage in some passive-aggressive revenge, Dee had returned, but on his knees, his hands hooked into the waist of Ryo's pants and tugging them off his hips. Ryo stared at him for a moment, completely at a loss for words, then realised, quite suddenly, what this meant. What Dee intended to with that Cheshire grin on his face.
"I love how scandalised you always look when you realise what I'm gonna do to you."
"Uh," Ryo said, his mouth all gooey with lust, more Dee-like than he wanted to admit.
Dee grinned like a fiend then took one long, torturous lick up the length of Ryo's cock. Just like that, with no warning and no hesitation. Ryo's knees buckled, and Dee chuckled around the head, pressing his fingers into Ryo's hips, keeping him upright. Nice guy.
Dee started sucking and licking in earnest, sloppy and uncontrolled, a radical change from his kissing technique, but enthusiastic, and Ryo thought maybe this was how a blowjob was supposed to be. Not that he'd known, before, or even really imagined, but if someone put a gun to his head and made him describe one, this would definitely be it.
He rolled his head back, forcing his eyes to open and stare at the ceiling. Embarrassingly little squeaky sounds kept escaping his mouth, despite how quiet he tried to be, mixing with Dee throaty moans and pleased-sounding noises. Ryo wasn't sure what he was doing to deserve Dee's approval, besides standing there and letting his cock be sucked.
Knowing Dee, that was probably more than enough.
Dee pulled back, and Ryo looked down at him, blushing fiercely at the sight of Dee's wetly sticky lips and self-congratulatory smile. Felt his face grow even hotter when Dee kissed the tip of his dick then stood and pressed that same messy mouth to Ryo's, slicking his tongue inside. Ryo braced himself for the unknown, but none of his worries played out.
It was just ridiculously sexy.
"You ready for me?" Dee asked, pushing Ryo's pants down to his knees then reaching over his shoulder for a bottle of cooking oil. Did something with it that Ryo didn't even want to acknowledge for sanitary reasons, then yelped when Dee slid a wet hand between his legs, two slick fingers gliding effortlessly into his body.
"Shit, shit, shit," Dee started chanting, and Ryo nodded mindlessly, wishing Dee had had the foresight to pull his pants completely off. It restricted his motion, and Ryo felt a little ludicrous standing there, with his shirt on but unbuttoned and his work pants pooled around his knees, and Dee in a pair of cotton pants that he had pushed down his hips only low enough so he could take out his cock. They looked like two guys who couldn't wait.
Ryo didn't know about Dee, but he kind of felt like a guy who couldn't wait, too.
Dee turned him around, kissed him on the shoulder, then pushed all the way in with no preamble and no apology. Ryo tensed without meaning to then relaxed again, reaching out for the counter, trusting it to keep him on his legs. He felt so good, and full, and the truth was, he'd been thinking about this all day, too. Been thinking about it for months.
Dee began to move, a man on a definite mission, and Ryo pushed back, mewling again, too out of his mind with lust to even really care. Dee slipped an arm around his waist, holding him tightly, panting wetly in his ear. "Fucking love you," he said, over and over.
Ryo could only nod in agreement. His body would allow him nothing more than that.
Ryo didn't know how long they lasted that time, seconds or minutes or days, but they came within a heartbeat of each other, Ryo first and then Dee, digging ditches into Ryo's skin with his fingers, mouth latched firmly onto Ryo's shoulder, kissing wildly.
"God," Dee said, slumped on Ryo's back, "I just love sex so much. With you," he added.
Ryo nodded again, feeling pleased.
Dee pulled out slowly then turned him around for a kiss, leisurely taking his time with Ryo's lips before whacking him on the ass. "Go take your shower. I'll finish up here." Dee kissed him again, smiling lazily against Ryo's mouth. "You really are something."
"You, too," Ryo said, still a little breathless.
Dee thumped him again on the butt, and Ryo stumbled off on wobbly legs to fall into the shower and wash away the grim from a too-long day and the sweat from a too-short evening. The good thing about that, though, was how easily extended it could be.
By the time he got out, following Dee's lead and borrowing a pair of Dee's silky pajama bottoms, Dee had set the table and arranged all the food. He'd lit a couple candles, put on some romantic music, and produced a single red rose out of thin air. "For you," he said.
Ryo stared at it. "Where did you get this?"
"I've always said these balconies are too close together," Dee said dismissively, pulling out a chair then kicking Ryo in the shin when he didn't sit down. Ryo obediently plopped onto the seat, lifting his arms so Dee could lay a napkin over his lap, utterly unsurprised when Dee copped a feel. "Old Mrs. Morris won't even notice it's gone."
"Of course she won't." Ryo batted away Dee's hand. "She's half blind."
Dee sighed then slumped into his own chair, running his hands through his hair. "Jeez, okay, enough with the guilt trip. I'll replace it tomorrow. It's all for the sake of true love, you know. Even a bitter old hag like her can respect something like true love."
"She'd be heartless not to," Ryo agreed, smiling.