Ever since Jalter had been summoned to Chaldea, she had always kept her distance from everyone. The staff, almost all the other Servants, the NPCs, or Craft Essences as they were labeled as, and even her Master, Gudao. The only two she got close to was her original self, Jeanne D’ Arc, and another alter by the name of Salter, Saber/Arturia Alter. She associated with them but she never opened up to either one of them.
She would do her job and help whenever she was asked to but she simply remained to herself whatever she wasn’t needed. Most of the inhabitants of Chaldea had asked her why she doesn’t open up more but she never gave them an answer, leading them to make assumptions and guesses. Most had agreed it was likely due to her being Jeanne’s opposite.
They could think whatever they wanted but none of them could guess the true reason. Despite what Chaldea’s records stated, she had memories of before she was summoned to Chaldea. Memories that didn’t even involve Chaldea in any way.
Before she found herself fighting to destroy humanity in the Singularity of Orleans, she remembers a war. A Holy Grail War on the Moon.
At first, she thought the Master that summoned her was a hopeless idiot that got him dragged into this war, mostly due to him staring off into space as she dealt with the enemy that had attacked him. However, this impression did not last long. Before the final fight at the end of the first week, she had come to understand her Master. He was just like her. She saw the same vengeful flames in him that she felt.
She wouldn't find out what was driving his desire for revenge or who he sought vengeance for or against until the 5th week of the war when he had almost died but was saved by some strange ability he never told her about. He was smart enough to know that she wanted to know what it was and so they began to open up to each other.
She told him her true name. How she was a theoretical servant that shouldn't exist. A simple shadow of a real Heroic Spirit. After she had done so, her master simply stated they weren't happy with her calling herself a shadow. Even if it was true, he didn't view her as such and asked her to not think herself as such. She was surprised by her Master's kindness.
He didn't like the two names she said he could call her by. So, he ended up calling her Joan instead. She was a bit embarrassed at first when he called her by that name but she fell in love with the name.
By the final week of the war, her master finally told her his intentions for the grail. The truth was, he had none. The grail wasn't what he was fighting to get but, rather, the chance to reach the Moon Cell was why he fought so much. He tried to explain what had happened but she found it more confusing than it being an explanation. He ended summarizing it as the Moon Cell had gone back on a deal they had made and now he wanted to take revenge for that betrayal as well as avenge all the Masters that got killed in this war. That was all she needed to hear to convince her to make sure they won, no matter what. She had no wish either so the only thing she wanted was to help her Master complete their vengeance. Even if it would end up being the end for both of them.
After defeating the final master as well as a man who guarded the Moon Cell itself, her Master began to mess with the Moon Cell and soon enough, began what he had called the 'Meltdown' process. The screens displaying all the floors where they had explored and fought quickly were filled with red as they all began to burn. Even the area around the Moon Cell itself began to burn as flames started engulfing the place.
However, for some reason, her Master wasn't smiling. She didn't understand why as he sounded so sure about wanting to do this. Yet, he didn't look happy. She ended up asking him.
"Why aren't you happy? The Moon Cell is going to burn and everyone who died will be avenged. This is what you wanted right?"
He turned to her unable to look her in the eyes as he said those two words before pressing a button on the console.
She watched as the Moon Cell, despite its Meltdown, began to glow as she could only guess he had activated the Grail. She just looked towards him.
"What did you do!? You said you didn't have a wish, remember! What did you wish for!?"
She wanted to know what he did and why she could feel herself being pulled away as he simply raised his hands with the 3 commands seals he never used during the war still on it.
"Joan, by my command seals, I give you my final 3 commands. Leave the Moon Cell, help any person you deem worthy of your help, and...never call yourself someone else's shadow!"
She felt the three commands seals take effect as the force that was pulling her got stronger as she saw herself disappearing. She just looked at him as tears began to fill her eyes.
"I thought you said we would die together alongside the Moon Cell! Was that just a lie!?"
He just smiled.
"Thank you, Joan, for everything. May whatever Master you end up with being better than I could ever be."
All she could do as she disappeared from the Moon Cell was call his name.
That was the last she ever saw of her one and only Master. She didn't know how she ended up in the Singularity she first found Chaldea in nor how she ended up encountering them multiple times before she finally got summoned by them but regardless, she was here. According to the records, she shouldn't exist outside of Chaldea as she wasn't a proper heroic spirit but she couldn't help but feel that was wrong. Her Master did something. She just needed to find out what he had used the grail for.
She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she finished reminiscing on what happened. She just muttered to herself.
"Damn you. Forcing me to live with these moments and feelings while you're dead. How can I find someone else better than you when you were perfect to me."
She quickly wiped away her tears as she heard a knock on the door She tried to compose herself as she got up to open it as she was met with her current master on the other side of the door.
"Good Afternoon Jalter."
She was wondering what his Master had wanted but she quickly remembered that they were going to try and summon Hessian Lobo and she said she would be there to make sure they didn't attack Gudao.
"Sorry, I got lost in thought."
"It's fine. Though if may ask, are you ok? Your eyes look a bit red as if you were crying."
She turned away as she grabbed her weapons sitting beside her bed.
"Trust me, Master, I'm okay."
He sighed in defeat as she walked out of her room and proceeded to follow him to the summoning room. She knew this shouldn't take to long. Once they were finished, she could go back to her room and be alone. As great of a Master Gudao had been, he couldn't replace who Hakuno was to her. She knew she should try and move on but something kept her from doing so. As much as she knew he was likely gone, she still held onto some fragment of hope he would find her. Unbeknownst to her, that fragment of hope would finally be proven true.