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The Chronicles of Uncle Sam

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Growing up in a house full of Black women taught Sam Wilson a lot.

It taught him love, honesty, understanding, and courage among other things. But most importantly, it taught him common sense. Whether or not he decided to use that common sense was up to him.

He certainly didn’t use it when he decided to ride his bike down Dead Man’s Hill when he was 8 years old, breaking multiple bones in the process.

He didn’t use it when he decided to jump off a roof testing flight gear that he designed and built from random objects around the house and from the local scrap yard (it held up surprisingly well considering that it was powered by a toaster, only minor injuries).

And he certainly wasn’t using it now, as he handed his beloved older sister the 7th (and counting) ridiculously expensive baby shower gift.

Annetta Lafayette glared at her baby brother like he had grown three extra heads. It was a well known fact in the family that Samuel Thomas Wilson was the worst gift giver.

The issue was not that the gifts were bad, it was quite the opposite. They were always wonderful. The issue was that he went overboard. Way overboard. Every single g*ddamn time.

“Samuel. Why the hell are you giving me a leap frog tablet for my baby? She ain’t even been born yet.”

“It’s never too early to start on education Netta. Now wait one second I gotta go get the tricycle from my car.”

Netta sighed, knowing it would take her and Angelo days to sort through all the gifts, and turned to her mother and sisters with a pleading glance knowing it would do her no good. They were all almost as bad as her heathen brother when it came to gift giving.

Almost.

To say Sam was excited to be an uncle was an understatement. When his sister first gathered them all in her living room after inviting them for dinner to announce the big news, he’d jumped up and down, cried and spun her around in a big bear hug he was famous for giving and repeated the cycle for a good hour.

In his defense, his sister and brother-in-law had been trying for some time and this would be the very first niece/grandchild for all of them so everyone was pretty excited. Another person to welcome into their family and love wholeheartedly.

Besides, he’s always wanted a baby to spoil.

Netta waved her husband over to the couch where she sat.

“I need you to go talk to Sam for me, he’s lost it.”

“Me?” He asked. She gave him a look.

“Yes you, who else?”

“Why?”

“Why do you think?! He’s going crazy with the gifts again!” Just as she says those words Sam bursts through the door with a giant drivable monster truck in one arm and a box full of one of every Monster High doll ever made.

“I couldn’t grab the Barbie dream house or the 4 foot Godzilla so I’ll just get them to you later.”

Netta considers moving to Alaska and changing their names but knowing her brother he’d find them in a few days.

Despite it all she can’t help but shake her head and smile. Oh how she loves her baby brother.