Work Header

Thor Gets a Salad

Work Text:

This story takes place in the middle of Avengers Endgame so spoilers. I don’t own any of this. Disney owns everything in this fic and maybe someday they will own everything in the future.

Thanks to Planetary_Loop for betareading this for me.

Thor Gets a Salad
By Marie Nomad

Thor felt confused as he sat in the kitchen. The ‘Time Heist’ was a success. All six stones were in the present and now Stark and the others are working on making a new gauntlet. He haven’t had a drink in thirty minutes and already he was feeling his head cleared. That is replaced by a headache but at least he could think and ponder. He couldn’t forget his conversation with his mother. He didn’t want to blur it out with a keg of beer. He also couldn’t blur out Natasha.

“Hey, Thor, you okay?” Tony asked as he ran into the kitchen and picked up some fruit. He changed out of that suit for his typical t-shirt and jeans. “You haven’t been drunk since we got back and that was a record.”

“I… I don’t know. I know that for the past few days, I had been lazy. I am sorry.”

Tony paused and sat down across from him eating the apple. “Hey, I get it. I had to deal with anxiety and alcoholism myself. Not a fun combination. I admit, I was more coherent when I make drunk lectures but that’s just me.”

“But… everyone else had done so much more. You, Rabbit, and Bruce built the time machine. That new guy, the human, … what’s his name?”

“Scott Lang.”

“Scott Lang and Clint tested it. Everyone else had been making plans while I drink and sleep and… I didn’t even help with the Reality Stone. And Natasha… Natasha died for the Soul Stone.” Thor reached down and got the Mjolnir. It’s light weight was a reassurance to him. “All I did was get this and talked to Mother one last time.”

“Yeah, you’re going to have to return that when we’re done fixing the universe.”

“I know, I just had to hold it for a while.” Thor hugged it to his chest.

Tony reached out and patted his hand. “You know, I ran into my Dad in the 1970s. It was great, getting to hug him and saying goodbye.”

“Did he know who you are?”

“I wasn’t even born yet. But, I don’t know. Might notice something, I inherited his genius.”

“Mother noticed right away. I tried to pass myself off as past me.”

Tony snorted and covered his mouth.

“I know I let myself go a little.” Tony just stared at him with one eyebrow cocked up. “Okay, a lot. But she knew that I was from the future and… I told her about my failure to kill...” Thor paused as he struggled to say the name. The inventor grasped Thor’s hand in support tightly. “Thanos. I failed to save the universe. She knew she failed and told me it was okay. She didn’t scold me or made me feel like a failure.” Thor paused as he wiped away tears with his free hand.

“Sounds like a smart woman and a good mother.”

“She was the best. She didn’t even let me warn her. She just accepted her fate like a proper Asgardian. She did tell me to eat a salad before I left.”

“Yeah.” Tony let go and stood up. “I’m guessing that you haven’t eaten a salad in years.”

“Never really wanted to.”

“Wait right here.” Tony marched towards the refrigerator and got out several vegetables and bowls. “I had actually mastered the art of cooking and salad making over the years.”

“You don’t have to.” Thor pleaded. Tony had so much on his plate already. He shouldn’t waste time on some has been god.

“Hey, I insist. Have to honor your mom’s last wishes right?”

“I guess.”

“Good.” Tony broke lettuce and tossed it into a large bowl. “Any plans after we save the universe? Because I know a couple of therapists that could help you out.”

“I don’t know. I can’t be a king. I suck at it. Maybe, do some traveling. Find myself.”

“A walkabout?” Tony grabbed some tomatoes and sliced them fast.

“You could say that but I can’t leave my people without a leader. I guess, Valkyrie could do it. I think she had been taking care of New Asgard.”

Tony paused as he grated the cheese over the salad. “Who speaks to the various world leaders?”


“Who set up New Asgard?” Tony dumped some chopped cold chicken into the salad.


“Who makes sure that reporters stay out of New Asgard and not make news stories about a drunk god playing Fortnight?” Tony tossed the salad with a pair of tongs.


“She’s a king, well queen, in all but name. Take it from me, I did the same with Pepper and I don’t regret it.” Tony plopped down a large bowl of salad in front of him. “One Thor sized salad.” He grabbed a bottle of ranch dressing and a fork and set it next to the bowl.

Thor paused to studied it and then started to eat. “I… I like it.”

“Good.” Tony took a deep breath. “I have to go, make an infinity gauntlet mark II.”

“Thank you, Tony.” Thor paused in his eating. “I know that you have more important things to do.”

Tony opened the fridge and tossed him a bottle of water. Thor caught it with ease. “What’s the point in fixing the universe if you can’t help your friends?”

The End