“I’m not gonna kiss him.” Len was met with exasperated groans. He scowled. “What?”
Cisco sighed and took a step closer to him, which was still pretty far away on the other side of the med room at S.T.A.R. Labs. Nobody seemed eager to get close to Len. Might have something to do with the fact that he was holding onto the cold gun in its holster, ready to shoot if necessary.
“Snart, if we don’t find anyone who can wake him up, he’ll literally die,” Cisco explained. Again.
“Sleep for a hundred years,” Len said.
Len pinched the bridge of his nose.
Apparently the Scarlet Speedster had had an altercation with some kind of witch or a meta that could do magic, they weren’t quite sure yet, according to Dr. Snow (“Call me Caitlin.”)—either way, this someone seemed to be way too fond of fairytales. And not the traditional kind, but the Disney kind. Because instead of being a menace in the usual, respectable ways they had cursed Barry to sleep for a hundred years. A coma, really. Unless he was woken up by ‘his soulmate’s kiss,’ or so Team Flash told him.
Which was nothing but bullshit in Len’s opinion, because soulmates didn’t exist, and neither did true love. Barry’s friends seemed to think otherwise, evidently. And that raised the question—
“Why the hell would you ask me to do it?”
“We’ve kind of exhausted all of our options,” Caitlin said. “And you two always had… you know, a thing.”
“A thing,” Len repeated dryly. Then he stood up a little straighter. “Hold on, are you telling me that you all,” he gestured around the room, “You all kissed him?”
“Had to start somewhere,” Iris West muttered. She was sitting next to the medical bed Barry was lying on and Len resolutely didn’t look in that direction. He didn’t particularly care for comatose speedsters. Especially when they were shirtless because of the electrodes on their chest that were connected to the machines monitoring the vitals.
“And a few other people,” Cisco said, “but yeah. Pretty much.”
Dear god. Len drummed his fingers on the cold gun. The only thing he could think of to say was, “You know that’s a great way to give him herpes?”
Iris made a ‘See?’ gesture at Cisco and Caitlin, like she’d told them the same.
“Actually it’s more likely we gave each other herpes,” Caitlin said, eyes widening when Cisco and Iris turned to her with horrified looks on their faces. Probably less at the prospect of herpes and more at the suggestion that if they’d all kissed Barry, they’d all technically kissed each other. Len tried not to smirk and failed. “I mean, with his immune system and— You know what, let’s not get into it.”
“Well, this has been fascinating, but I ought to get going,” Len said. “Crimes to do, people to rob, you know how it is.”
“So you’re not gonna help us?” Cisco crossed his arms, frowning.
Len snorted. “That’s a joke, right? You know as well as I do that me… doing that won’t work. Better come up with a different way to wake him up, hm?”
He raised his eyebrows at them and allowed himself a cursory glance at Barry lying lifelessly on the bed. Not a good idea.
Without another word, he turned on his heels and exited the room.
Even with their new security upgrades, breaking into S.T.A.R. Labs was incredibly boring. Len would’ve appreciated if it had taken just a little more time until he had to set foot in that room again. But he had to admit the halls and cortex were a little spooky at night.
The only light in the med room came from the displays of the medical equipment Barry was hooked up to and the glow of Len’s cold gun.
“Well hello Sleeping Beauty,” he murmured as he put the cold gun down on a chair and stepped closer to the bed. Barry looked the same as before, eyes closed and unmoving except for his chest rising and falling with each long breath. At least he was covered with a blanket now.
Len couldn’t believe he was actually considering this. It wasn’t going to work anyway, but… what if? If Barry never woke up, who would show up to try and fail to stop Len’s heists? Well, somebody, probably, but it just wouldn’t be as challenging. It wouldn’t be the same.
He glanced around the room to look for any security cameras he might have missed—none, of course—and before he could talk himself out of it he bent down to brace his hands next to Barry’s head on the pillow and kiss him. Quick and easy.
Len stared at Barry.
Nothing at all, not even a change in breath pattern or the twitch of an eyelid. Len scowled and leaned in again, pressing their lips together for a moment longer than before, long enough to notice how soft Barry’s lips were.
Still nothing. He pushed down a wave of what felt suspiciously like disappointment. He pulled back and sighed, collecting his cold gun before making his way to the door. Of course it hadn’t worked. Kind of embarrassing to even try, but that’s why he’d waited for Barry to be alone.
Len was just about to cross the threshold of the med room when he heard something in the room behind him. A cough?
His eyes widened. Turning slowly around, he had to clench his jaw to suppress a surprised sound threatening to leave his throat. Barry was awake and sitting up in the bed, sheets pooling around his hips and staring at Len. Then he glanced down at his chest and started removing the electrodes. Len took the opportunity to slink out of the room to get out of S.T.A.R. Labs as quickly as possible, preferably before Barry had collected his wits.
No such luck.
He had barely reached the hall when a streak of lightning caught up with him and Barry stood in front of him, giving Len a strange look.
“Did you just kiss me?” His voice went a little higher on the kiss. Len was a little distracted by how messy his hair was. And, well—
“You were in a coma, how are you flashing around already? And could you please put on a shirt?”
Barry blinked. A second later, he was wearing a t-shirt, electricity crackling around him. And then he had the audacity to grab Len by his shoulders and push him against the wall, but he didn’t look angry like the last time he’d done that—he just looked curious.
“Did you? Kiss me?”
Len rolled his eyes and shook Barry’s hands off him.
“Remember that witch?”
“Huh?” Barry’s eyes went distant for a second before they went wide. About as wide as Len’s had been when he saw that Barry’d woken up. “Oh. Oh.”
“Yeah. Can I go now? Or do I have to convince you that that soulmate and true love bullshit your friends talked about isn’t real?” Len raised an eyebrow.
Barry just looked confused. “Soulmate bullsh— Oh no, I don’t think— I mean, I think it was more along the lines of… Um.” He grimaced and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck before mumbling something that probably not even someone with super-hearing could’ve made out.
Len couldn’t hold back a smirk. “Yes, Barry?”
Barry took a step back and crossed his arms in front of his chest, nodding in direction of the elevators, eyes on the floor.
“You can go.”
“No can do.” Len moved closer to him, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “Tell me. Because I’d sure like to know why that worked just now. The kiss, I mean.”
Barry’s gaze flicked up to Len’s face, and he sighed, then squeezed his eyes shut.
“Okay, but just… don’t make fun of me, all right?” Len hummed a vaguely affirmative sound to keep him talking. “They didn’t really say anything about soulmates or true love. It might have been more along the lines of, uh… Oh, are you really gonna make me say it?”
“Trust me, you’d know if I was making you do anything,” Len murmured. “Barry. Tell me.”
“I hate you,” Barry said, opening his eyes and frowning at him before averting his gaze again. “The way I remember it, they said that the person I have a crush on will be able to wake me up. There. Happy?”
It took a second to sink in. Then it took another few seconds for Len to go through a complicated range of emotions. Surprise. Relief. Amusement. Satisfaction.
“In that case…” Len secured the cold gun in the holster on his thigh so he could use both of his hands to cup Barry’s face and pull him in, kissing him for the third time that night. When he drew back, Barry was staring at him, cheeks a little pink and his mouth parted in a way that Len couldn’t resist leaning in again. This time Barry responded, covering Len’s hands with his and kissing back.
“Well,” Len said after they’d parted and he’d taken a few steps down the hall, “CC National Bank tomorrow at noon? I hear it’s lovely this time of year. Bring the suit.”
A moment of confused silence followed him before Barry laughed and yelled after him, “It’s a date.”
Len would deny it at gunpoint, but he couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.