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Blood is (Not) Thicker Than Water

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“So, Stiles, I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” the sheriff said over dinner.

“What’s up?” Stiles mumbled through a mouthful of steak.

The sheriff grimaced at his lack of manners. Stiles just waved his fork at him impatiently, and John sighed.

“Okay, so, good news. Your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Eric are coming out to visit.”

Stiles swallowed quickly, grinning. “Yes! When? Why?”

“Two days, and they wanted to plan a family reunion type of thing.”

“Oh, that’s awesome! I can’t wait to meet the baby, and teach Teddy chess even though he’s five and I haven’t seen Bella since graduation! This is going to be great, they haven’t been here in years. I remember, they stayed here after we got back from Aunt Carol’s house after the last family….reunion…” Stiles’ rambling trailed off as the full meaning of that sentence hit him. He slowly straightened in his chair, looking at his father cautiously. “Dad, no. Please, please tell me that doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

The sheriff sighed, shaking his head apologetically. “That’s the bad news.”

“Dad! No! How did this even happen?”

John rubbed a hand down his face. “I was talking to Kelly about her bringing the kids down for the week, but apparently I was on speaker phone and she was having lunch with Carol. Carol overheard and brought it upon herself to organize a reunion. Here. In two days.”

Stiles clenched his jaw. “They’re not staying here, are they?”

They as in the rest of Stiles’ aunts and uncles.

“Well, I can’t exactly make them stay on the street, Stiles.”

“Have them book a hotel! There’s no room. That’s sixteen people. Where the hell would they go?”

“The triplets are going to share your room with Bella and Dani, Kelly, Eric, and the kids will stay in my room. Gary, Anne, Carol, and Justin will be in the basement on the blow up mattresses.”

Stiles raise an eyebrow. “They’re going to hate that.”

“Well, that’s what they get for inviting themselves over with two days notice.”

Stiles felt sick. His family sucked.

Okay, not all of them. Aunt Kelly, John’s younger sister, and her husband Eric were great. They were Stiles’ godparents, actually. They had two boys, a five year old, Teddy, and a one month old, Taylor. They also had a daughter, Bella. She was eighteen, and Stiles’ favorite cousin.

But John’s older brother Gary, his wife Anne, and John’s older sister Carol, and her husband Justin were awful. They had never liked Stiles’ mother, and they didn’t try to hide it. They also loved to be ‘passive’ aggressive, always insulting and prodding into their lives. Now, that was bad enough, but their kids...they were even worse.

Most of the cousins were all around Stiles’ age, and there were a lot of them.

Gary’s daughters, the triplets- Polly, Sherry, and Jane. The same age as Stiles. His son, Henry, was twenty-one.

Carol’s sons, Nate, who was nineteen, and Tyler, who was the same age as Henry. Her daughter, Dani who was twenty-four.

They lived to make Stiles’ life hell. One of their favorite things to do was bully him mercilessly, and on a few memorable occasions after his mother’s death, push him into panic attacks. The boys were always physical with him, and the girls were the manipulative ones.

At least, most of them. Bella was the only one ever on his side, probably because she got teased just as much as he did. Dani usually stayed out of it, but she never tried to stop the others.

“Wait. Where are the boys staying?”

John looked at him guiltily. “In the living room.”

“No, that’s it. I’m staying with Scott. I cannot spend a week holed up in this house with these people. Where are you sleeping?”

“Somewhere on the floor. Probably my office.”

“Dad! There is literally no room for these people. We can’t fit five girls in my room, we can barely fit me in there!”

John sighed tiredly. “Yes, I know that, Stiles. But we’re going to have to make it work. Maybe I’ll ask Melissa if Eric and Kelly can stay there.”

“What about us?”

“Stiles, I don’t know what you want me to do here. It’s just one week, and then we can go back to the way things were.”

Stiles let out a slow breath, resigning himself to the fact that his life was about to become hell for the next week. “You know what. I have a pack meeting. I have to go, but I’ll be back to help you clean later.”

“Alright. Tell them I said hello.”

Stiles was already worrying about his father’s mental health. His brother and sister stressed him out as bad as Stiles’ cousins did him.

“It’s just one week,” he said appealingly, standing up and patting his dad’s back. “I’m going to head out. Hang in there, Pops.”

His dad raised a hand, waving him away as he rubbed his temples.


Stiles was literally two steps into the loft when all of the werewolves were looking at him in concern.

“Dude, everything okay?” Scott was immediately at his side, a hand on his shoulder and looking him over for injuries. “Is it your dad?”

Stiles took a deep breath and sighed. He was way too upset to bother trying to hide his emotions, so he put on a clenched smile.

“No, Dad’s fine. But we’re going to have a few houseguests for a week.”

Scott stared at him and Stiles shook his head, briefly closing his eyes.

He felt Scott stiffen. “Oh no. No, not happening. Alright, you’re staying with me. No, then you’ll still see them. Alright, road trip. How about Mexico? Fun memories there, right?”

“Scott, you almost died there. Derek almost died there, twice. Kira almost died there.”

“That’s still better than them, man. Plus, if we go to Mexico I won’t have to see them either. They scare me!”

“Just because Sherry-”

“Not just Sherry! Jane too! And Tyler beat me up last time I saw them.”

“I think you can handle them now.”

“Henry broke your arm last time, and no offense but you haven’t changed much since then. Not like I have!”

“Sorry to interrupt, but we’re all pretty confused here,” Kira cut in. “Who are these people?”

Stiles inhaled slowly. “My cousins.”

Lydia gasped. “Tell me they’re not coming out here. I can’t stand them, and I’ve never even met them!”

“Yeah, they are. Dad invited my godparents out so we could meet the baby, but one of my other aunts heard about it and now there’s sixteen people staying in my house. Sixteen! And we don’t have room for them all and my dad’s going to have to sleep on the floor somewhere which isn’t good for his back and I’m going to have to pretend that they’re not awful people because if I complain to my aunts and uncles they get pissed at my dad, and they already get pissed at him enough.”

“Hold on a second. Are these the same cousins who tried to drown you?” Malia asked.

Stiles ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, when I was twelve. You know what, we’re mostly all adults now, right? I’m twenty. I can handle this.”

Scott looked at him doubtfully. “Will Bella be there?”

“Yeah, thank god.”

“Who’s Bella?” Liam asked, butting in.

“The only cousin I can stand. She’s the only decent one. As long as she’s there, I’ll be fine.”

Scott opened his mouth, but Stiles waved him off, forcing himself to calm down. “I’ll get through it, Scotty. Maybe they've grown up too.”