Tony has been kidnapped a lot of times in his life. When he was a kid, the attempts were pretty frequent– after all, his dad was one of the richest men in America, and the hope that he would pay the ransom was always enough to bring the low-lives running in droves, even when Howard never ever did. Tony was used to it by the time he was ten and he was tied to a chair for the fourth time in his life. And by the time he was in college, he kept a panic button hidden in the sleeve of his jacket, which would alert Jarvis as well as send him Tony’s exact location.
The worst incident so far was, of course, Afghanistan, and Tony was thankful that he had managed to avoid kidnappings since, as he didn’t think that the memories would result in him reacting well.
But, yeah, kidnappings were kind of par for the course, and it had happened so many times that he no longer thought that he was capable of being surprised.
He certainly hadn’t expected to be kidnapped from his own workshop, let alone by someone that he considered a friend.
The hand around his forearm was harsh, though not enough to hurt, and he was being tugged along at a rate that had his feet tripping over the floor.
“JARVIS!” Tony yelled, struggling, trying to get free even as he was pulled into the elevator. “JARVIS, stop him!”
“He’s not going to help you, Stark,” his captor growled, and Tony bared his teeth. But, just as promised, the doors closed shut and the elevator began to take them up to the penthouse.
“What did you do to him? And where’s Loki? Let me go you big piece of—” Tony’s words cut off with a yelp as he was dragged through the penthouse, then shoved out of the balcony door and onto the landing pad.
His captor raised his arm, yelled and then—
The world exploded into a cascade of light, every single colour imaginable ripping through the air with the sound of a thousand V8 engines. Tony felt his feet lift off the ground and then he was hurtling through space, through a vacuum, through a portal, sent plummeting through a tear in the universe that he had only ever seen before from the outside. It felt like it lasted a single second, it felt like it lasted a year, and when Tony was thrown out of the other side of the wormhole he tumbled to the ground with a yell.
“Ooh,” Tony groaned, rolling onto his back, knees bent and his hands pressing hard into his eyes. “Oh, my head hurts.”
Thor laughed, having landed on his feet, the bastard. “I am not surprised,” he said, the words laced with chuckles.
“You’re an asshole,” Tony snapped, rubbing at his eyes again and then putting his hands on the ground to push up to a sitting position. “What the hell was that for? I thought mortals weren’t even allowed through the Bifröst– what, is there some kind of exception for when you want to scare the fuck out of– oh.” Tony cut himself off as he realised that he and Thor were not exactly alone.
Really though, it was totally fair that Tony hadn’t noticed the guy– because yeah, he was tall, but his completely gold armour blended in perfectly with the completely gold dome they were all inside. Honestly, he knew Asgardians liked gold, because he’d seen the Einherjar’s armour and he’d heard Loki complain about it more than enough times, but seeing just how all out they went was something else entirely. Ah well, at least Tony had listened to enough conversations about the place that he didn’t have to make a guess on the guy’s name.
“Heimdall, it is an honour to meet you,” Tony said– since, well, it was more accurate than to say it was a ‘pleasure’, at least. “I apologise for my language, I was taken just a little by surprise.” He shot a glare over to Thor, who didn’t even have the decency to not look smug.
Hang on– could Tony get in trouble for calling the Crown Prince an asshole? Probably. Oh well, too late now, Tony supposed.
And, thankfully, Heimdall merely seemed amused, the corner of his mouth turning up into something of a smirk.
“I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Anthony Stark of Midgard,” Heimdall replied, inclining his head slightly. Huh. Though, the use of his full first name – something that Thor didn’t do – probably meant that he had heard of Tony through Loki.
Well, thanks for chatting me up I guess, sweetheart.
Tony couldn’t blame Loki for that. After all, Loki did have reason to brag, since he’d scored Tony as a partner.
(Although, Tony was of the opinion that between the two of them, it was he who should be able to claim bragging rights. Who else could say that they’d managed to get an awesome warrior mage who also happened to be the prince of a whole realm to marry them? No one? Yeah, he didn’t think so.)
Thor bid Heimdall goodbye with a nod and a short word, and then he approached Tony with grabby hands again.
Tony shook his still-pounding head, and took a step back. “Whoa, whoa, I don’t think so, Point Break. I can walk all on my own, thanks.”
Thor narrowed his eyes, and continued to watch Tony suspiciously the whole way down the rainbow bridge. But, really, where was Tony supposed to go? He’d never been to Asgard before, so it wasn’t like he knew his way around– and with the architecture having no discernible features other than tall and gold, there weren’t even any landmarks to go by. He only knew two Asgardians, and one of them was his kidnapper, while the other– well. He certainly wasn’t on Asgard, because Thor had sent Loki to collect something for him from Alfheim only an hour or so before he’d kidnapped Tony– and oh look, Thor really could be sneaky when he wanted to be. Clearly, this was a planned kidnapping, since Thor had made sure Loki was out of the way first.
That didn’t make Tony feel any better.
By that point, Tony was expecting Thor to lead him to the palace and take him before Odin for treason or. Something. Yeah, okay– honestly, he had nothing, but if he were to have made a list then being taken to a bar would probably have been right down the bottom of it.
The bar didn’t seem like anything special, neither in a good nor a bad way– and it certainly didn’t seem like the sort of place you would cross realms to take a kidnapping victim to. It was called the Njörðr’s Feet (which, okay, super attractive name guys) and looked just like any tavern you might see on any Earthly street.
Tony didn’t trust it.
“Why are we here?” Tony asked, turning to Thor with a little bit of confusion. “If you were after a drink, I have plenty of booze back in the tower, you only had to ask.”
But Thor didn’t seem amused. In fact, he looked rather like he was preparing himself for something, his eyes staring Tony down and his arms doing that weird thing arms do when one is not quite sure what else to do with them. Then, Thor put his hands on his hips– but he seemed to realise how ridiculous that looked, and he crossed them instead. That done, he levelled Tony with a look that was clearly supposed to wither.
“Stark,” Thor said, standing tall and puffing his chest, and—
“Yeah, what is with that?” Tony asked, tilting his head. “You haven’t called me Stark since we met.”
Thor pressed his lips together as if he were trying not to laugh, but the glare he pinned on Tony didn’t seem like it was fake. This… didn’t just seem like Thor was playing a prank. There was actually something going on here, something serious– and Tony really needed to find out what it was.
So, he crossed his arms and raised a brow in the universal code for well, get on with it, then.
“Stark,” Thor said again, then paused as if expecting another interruption. When he didn’t get one – because yeah, Tony can totally be restrained when there is a need for him to be – he said, “I need to ask you a few questions.”
And then. He fucking. Paused.
“Are we going to do this all day?” Tony asked. “Because look, I had better things to do, you pulled me away from the middle of a very volatile project. If I get back to find that it’s exploded and DUM-E has covered the entire workshop in fire extinguisher foam, then you’re the one who’s going to have to—”
“I want to ask you about Loki,” Thor interrupted, seeming to find his feet amongst the familiar exasperation at Tony’s rambling.
Tony blinked, not having been expecting that, either. It seemed like nothing about this trip to Asgard was anywhere near conventional. “What about him?” he asked.
“About how you intend to treat him,” Thor said sternly. “I know that he can be trying at times—”
“Well, that’s an understatement,” Tony muttered—
“–but he has a big heart, and I know that he loves you with all of it,” Thor continued, having narrowed his eyes at the interruption. “So I wish to know how it is that you intend to treat him, and to make sure that you know what I will do to you should your answer and your future actions be anything less than what Loki deserves.”
“Wait, wait, hang on. Is this a shovel talk?” Tony asked, incredulous. “Are you serious? I mean, I remember you giving Loki the talk about intentions when we got together and, I was touched, I really was, but I think you seem to be doing this a bit backwards—”
“I admit that when the truth about your relationship was revealed, I was more concerned about my brother’s intentions than yours,” Thor said. “However—”
“Thor, he was more annoyed after that talk than he was before it,” Tony told him. “Though, I should thank you, I guess, he was so pent up that he decided to shove me against the—”
“I do not need to hear that,” Thor interrupted with a groan.
“No,” Tony agreed, not quite able to hold back the snort. “I guess you don’t.”
“Regardless,” Thor said, powering on, “Stark—”
“You really can still call me Tony, you know, it won’t be any less intimidating—”
“You will not hurt him—”
“Even if I did, I think he’d get to me before you—”
“—you will not lead him on unnecessarily—”
“Thor, I asked him to marry me—”
“And you must not ever let him feel like you do not love him.”
“I feel like this is something that you should have done earlier than just a week before the wedding,” Tony said thoughtfully.
“This is not going as I had planned,” Thor muttered, raising his eyes to the sky with a pained expression that Tony had become more than used to.
“No, I imagine it isn’t,” Tony said sympathetically, reaching out to pat Thor on the arm. “A plus for effort though, kudos for enthusiasm, and cookies for location?”
“You and Loki make a perfect match,” Thor muttered with the long-suffering tone of an older sibling.
“Yep,” Tony chirped. “We really do.” Then, a little more seriously, he added, “But Thor, you have to know that I really do love him with all that I am, and that I plan to spend the rest of my life with him– the rest of eternity, if what he said about the golden apple he’s going to get me as a wedding present is right. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and you don’t need to worry that I’m ever going to treat him as anything other than the love of my life.” Tony smiled softly, and he was glad when Thor did the same. And then, because he was unable to resist Tony added– “Also, the sex is absolutely—”
“We are going in here next,” Thor said loudly, shoving the door open.
Tony followed, laughing– but when he caught sight of what was already in full swing inside, he gasped in genuine delight.
“Thor,” Tony asked excitedly. “Is this my bachelor’s party?”
“It is,” Thor confirmed. “I did not think that it was fair that you were going to miss out on this lauded Midgardian tradition, so I decided to organise one for you.”
That warmed Tony to the fucking core. It was true that Tony hadn’t been expecting one. Obviously, Rhodey was his best man, but he was deployed at the moment in an undisclosed location that Tony wasn’t supposed to know about. He’d managed to procure approved leave for the wedding itself, but he would be cutting it fairly close. He wouldn’t have time to arrange party, and Tony had more than understood that.
But it seemed that Thor, as Loki’s best man, had taken on the duty.
Tony was still grinning as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around Thor’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome, brother,” Thor said– and Tony totally pressed his face against Thor’s shoulder for the hug. There was no other reason, not one. He wasn’t trying to hide a thing.
When Tony turned to get a better look at the room, he found that his smile only grew all the larger, because Thor had invited their friends. Bruce, Steve, and Happy were wedged between a few Asgardians by a table at the back. Clint was by the bar, piling a truly ridiculous number of shot glasses onto a tray that was balanced in Natasha’s arms. And Tony even spied Pepper chatting interestedly to someone he recognised from the files as Hogun. There were a whole heap of miscellaneous Asgardians that Tony assumed Thor had invited to fill out the crowd, or maybe they had simply turned up. After all, a party arranged by a prince probably would attract quite a few crashers– but that didn’t matter, because it turned out that in this instance, more truly was merrier.
And the night was freaking awesome.
Asgardian mead is, of course, quite potent, and the humans (apart from Steve) were limited to a single shot glass of it. But Thor had thought ahead, and the Avengers had somehow brought a whole heap of human alcohol with them through the Bifröst without breaking it.
They drank and they sang and they told stories that ranged from epic sagas of the SI boardroom to a funny story about when Loki had convinced Thor to wear a wedding dress, and honestly, it was one of the best nights out with friends that Tony had ever had. He did wish that Rhodey could have been there, but he knew that couldn’t be helped– and he made sure to video the moment when Pepper challenged Sif to a flyting contest and insulted her into the floor.
And, despite everything else, the highlight was easily when Loki came bursting into the tavern around 2am, his seiðr cracking through the air and his daggers flashing in his hands, his eyes literally glowing with rage. He was a little bit upset, because all he’d heard JARVIS say when he’d returned home from his trip was that ‘Mr Stark was taken to Asgard—’ before he’d lost his cool and come charging up to rescue Tony from what he thought was a vicious abduction.
Which, awh. It was nice to know that Loki would come to defend him so valiantly, even if it had been unnecessary.
Thor, of course, had immediately tried to shoo him away, but Tony had put a swift end to that when he had thrown himself across the room and into his fiancé’s arms with an excited yell.
“Why did you not tell me,” Loki hissed at Thor, his expression annoyed but his touch soft and gentle as he steadied Tony back onto his feet.
Thor gaped a bit like a goldfish, clearly trying to come up with some kind of excuse. But, then—
“It’s because your party is to be tomorrow night, Loki!” Fandral announced, clambering up onto a table, his tankard spilling ale as he waved it about to help emphasise his words. “Thor did not want you to be able to guess!”
“Oh, god,” said Clint from where he was lying on top of another table on the other side of the bar. “I don’t think I can do this two nights in a row.”
“You’re getting old, Barton,” Natasha replied, clinking her glass with Steve’s and then downing it all in one go.
In the end, Thor allowed it, and Tony pulled Loki over to a booth and curled up against his side. As much fun as he’d been having, it was never as fun without Loki there to share it with him.
And. Well, he wasn’t quite as young as he once was, either. He’d enjoyed the night, but in that moment, what he wanted most in the world was to crawl into bed and fall asleep in Loki’s arms. (And to be honest, he was quite sure that wasn’t just the alcohol talking.)
The shutter of a camera phone caused Tony to glance up, though he didn’t lift his head from Loki’s shoulder. Pepper was there with her phone out and a soft smile on her face. She didn’t say anything, merely leaving them in their little bubble, but that smile said more than enough.
Tony was happy with that, right up until she walked straight over to Thor and whispered into his ear– because two seconds later Thor was climbing onto the top of the bar.
“What in the Nine is he doing?” Loki muttered, and Tony frowned.
“I think he’s going to make a—”
“Speech!” shouted Clint, raising his glass only for it to be pushed back down to the table by Bruce, who had been showered with beer at Clint’s enthusiastic movement.
Thankfully, though, it seemed a speech wasn’t in the cards, for Thor just raised his glass for a good old toast. Probably a good thing, given the way that he was swaying.
“To the happy couple!” Thor roared. “We drink to your health and your—” Thor cut himself off with a squeal as he toppled off the edge of the bar, and it was only because there were so many people crowded around the area that they managed to soften his fall enough that it didn’t result in a dent in the floorboards.
“This is a fine Midgardian tradition,” Fandral shouted as he helped Thor off the ground. “We should adopt it for all future weddings!”
A cheer sounded all around the room and a call for more drinks was echoed by too many voices to count.
Tony wasn’t really paying much attention to it. His head was on Loki’s shoulder, and he nuzzled into the curve of Loki’s neck, enjoying the scent and feel and taste of his fiancé far more than he did the ruckus in the room. He hummed happily as Loki’s hand ran through his hair, pressing up into the touch like a purring cat.
“Do you want to go?” Loki asked him, and Tony nodded his agreement with a quiet–
The uproar that the next round of drinks was causing was enough of a distraction that they didn’t need to say goodbye, and Loki simply whisked them away without Tony even needing to let go. And travelling with Loki like that was much nicer than the Bifröst had been, and not just because this time he was wrapped in Loki’s arms.
The room that Loki brought them to must have been his bedroom on Asgard, if the green hangings were any indication– but despite his curiosity Tony hardly spared it a glance, too preoccupied with continuing to snuggle as close to Loki as he could.
He heard Loki’s chuckle, and then Loki was moving them both to the bed, placing Tony down first and then curling around him. Loki’s hands hovered over Tony’s chest, and then he felt the clothes he had been wearing – just his workshop clothes, which weren’t really appropriate wear for a party but hey, no one had cared – transform into something more comfortable.
Tony sighed happily, feeling Loki’s chest press against his back and his arms holding him tight.
“Love you, Lokes,” Tony whispered, and he smiled happily as he felt Loki press a kiss to the top of his head.
“I love you too, Anthony.”
And with those words warming him more than the blankets and the drink ever could, Tony fell into a peaceful sleep, his only dreams full of happy thoughts of the future.
When Tony woke up the next morning, he was attacked. The sunlight coming in through the windows was more blinding than– well, more blinding than the sun normally was at any rate, and it felt like Thor was dancing around on the inside of his skull, knocking Mjölnir against everything he could reach.
“Good morning, Anthony,” Loki said, sounding both far too cheerful and much too far away.
Tony risked propping himself up on his elbows and squinting out into the room, trying to spot his fiancé. With his pained vision, Tony could only see a vague outline. Loki seemed to be dressed and holding… something, leaning against the bedpost and looking far too pleased with himself.
“My head hurts even worse than from the Bifröst,” Tony complained.
“I am entirely unsurprised,” Loki replied.
“You’ll be glad to know that’s exactly what Thor said,” Tony answered, falling back into the pillows and throwing an arm over his eyes. “Why is everything here gold? Gold glares, it’s fucking painful.”
“Asgardians tend to be able to hold their liquor better than this,” Loki replied, and Tony grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at him. He knew that it didn’t hit its mark, because he had his eyes closed and he heard it hit the floor in the completely wrong direction, but that didn’t matter. It was the message of the thing that was important.
Loki clicked his tongue. “That was risky,” he said. “What ever would you have done if that had knocked this coffee out of my hands?”
That was the magic word. Tony sat bolt upright, his eyes wide despite the pain, his hands reaching out across the mattress for the elixir of life that Loki had clasped in both hands. Loki chuckled and walked around the side of the bed, passing him the mug before sitting back down and leaning against the headboard at Anthony’s side.
“You are the absolute best ever person,” Tony said, inhaling the fumes deeply and closing his eyes in bliss.
“Why, thank you,” Loki replied. “Although, had I known how easy it was to win your affections—”
“Oh, I’m totally marrying you for your ability to fetch me legitimate Italian coffee at any given moment,” Tony said. He raised the coffee to his lips and chugged half of it down like a pro, completely unbothered by the heat– and then wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. Then he paused, side-eying Loki’s fond grin. “Just, uh, don’t tell Thor. He might think I’ve been leading you on.”
“There is no need to worry,” Loki said lightly. “I have already informed him that I am only marrying you for your skill as a lover. I suppose he shall think we balance each other out.”
“Is that true?” Tony asked, shifting the coffee into one hand so he could twist the other into Loki’s shirt.
“Well,” Loki whispered, leaning a little closer with a smirk on his lips. “That and your money.”
The kiss woke Tony up even more than the coffee had, and he pressed closer into Loki’s embrace, trying to deepen it by coaxing Loki’s lips open with his own. But Loki pushed him back, wrinkling his nose.
“Finish your coffee and brush your teeth,” he said. “And perhaps then I will kiss you.”
“Yes dear,” Tony replied, not quite able to stop smiling. His head wasn’t pounding anymore, but whether that had something to do with the caffeine or with a bit of subtle magic, Tony couldn’t say. Either way it had something to do with Loki, so. “Thanks, by the way.”
“For what?” Loki asked.
“Oh, you know. Just… everything.” Tony touched Loki’s cheek gently. “For just being you, I guess.”
Then, despite his earlier words, Loki leaned in to touch their lips together for a sweet, chaste kiss.
And maybe Tony was going soft, but despite all that they’d both said to Thor, he knew that it was moments like these that they both adored the most. Thor’s warning truly wasn’t necessary– the party was all well and good, but the fact that Tony had spent most of it wishing he could have Loki by his side just proved that he had made the right decision.
Tony couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life, and if every morning was going to be like this one, then he knew that he was in for a long and blissful ride.
(He would prefer not to have started it with a hangover though– but even a raging headache was bearable, so long as Loki was there as well.)