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Far from Sanity

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Allen came from his therapy session with tears in his eyes and a light heart. Talking to his therapist always left him emotional. He spoke about how he felt at the moment, what triggered it, and what to do when that time comes again. Writing it down tends to help.

Sometimes talking to his mother and friends, but he never wants to give them everything. He witnessed death, some he caused with his own hands. He could never sleep right without seeing the sight of his victim's blood or hearing gunshots. He always panics and yells in his sleep.

Allen felt horrible that he would wake up his mother and she is the one the hold him while he cried. He always considered running away and living on the streets, but even then, he was scared. Part of him thought he was still being hunted down. Allen didn't know what to think or do.

So he just acted. Three days later, the cops found him panicking in an alley next to a dumpster because a hobo was afraid of Allen speaking gibberish and not responding to no one. Allen's mother gave him an earful, but was overall happy he was safe and unharmed.

After that incident, Allen's mother gave sent him to a therapist and made sure he took his meds every morning. He waited outside for his mother outside the clinic, still thankful his mother made him go here. Sadly though, he was still scared of driving a car.

At least, not on a highway. He still remembers when he made that car wreck. Darrel almost died there. Darrel almost died period. Darrel was a self-sacrificing idiot Allen still loved. Darrel was also suffering in ways Allen will never know and it hurt Allen heart how he'll never understand.

Darrel was suffering from TBI aka Traumatic Brain Injury. It was moderate to severe, but Darrel was a strong person and someone Allen would forever admire. Allen's mother pulled up and Allen sat in the backseat with his notebook full of inner thoughts and dark secrets.

"How was this session, Al? Anything you want to talk about?" His mother asked. Allen didn't feel stable enough to talk quite yet. "The session went well mom. And I don't feel like talking about it yet." His mother nodded understandingly. Allen bit his lip before asking, "Have you hear anything about Darrel?" His mother sighed.

She believes it would help if Allen stayed away from Darrel, figuring separating the two so their lives would go a bit more smoothly. That only caused fights between Allen and his mother.

Knowing how sensitive Allen was on the topic of Darrel, she carefully picked out her words. "Son, I haven't heard anything from Darrel's brothers or friends, but I'm sure he's doing okay. In the meantime, you should be focusing on your first day of school in two weeks. That is if you believe you'll be alright."

Allen nodded, noticing how his mother changed the subject. Allen decided to ask his friends instead later. "I will. Maybe I can go to the local stores to get school supplies tomorrow." Allen's mother hummed. "I see no problem with that." Allen's mother had been picky where he should go, not wanting him too far away.

The Rome incident and four months of being supposedly dead really scared her. They road in silence the rest of the way till they got home. Allen went straight to his room while his mother called out that he was fixing dinner now. He went straight to his desk and sat his notebook on his desk.

He was considering writing more, but change his mind. He can't handle it right now to think back at the memories yet. So he got on his bed to rest, but his mind raced against his control.

You're a murderer.

You're a psycho.

You don't deserve to live.

You killed him.



Allen covered his ears as if to protect himself from the voices. His mother rushed in and coaxed him from his mind. "It's okay sweetie. I'm here. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's right honey." Allen started breathing evenly, his head starting to hurt.

Okay, so the therapy session left him very emotional, but his heart was still light. He was glad he shared it with someone, but it only meant that memory would still fresh to think about. His mind was a dangerous place for him, but he had nowhere to go when it comes to thinking.

"I'm okay now, mom. Can I take a nap?" Allen's mother looked worried but nodded. Allen got comfortable on his bed and focus on his breathing. Like always, his mind strayed to Darrel. He hoped everything was alright, but he highly doubts it.