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With Love, comes the Pain

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Shinsou was scared.

That was an understatement.

It was dark everywhere. There wasn't a hint of light anywhere he could see.

He remembered his body refusing to listen to him. He remembered Midoriya seeing him with the strange man. He remembered his older brother yelling his name, as he lunged at them.

He remembered his vision turning black.

He shifted uncomfortably. He could feel the cool chains around his wrist, clanking against each other with every movement he made. The eerie clanking resonated throughout the room, echoing around.

Why was it so dark?

Shinsou clutched the small, cool, metal feather that hung on a chain around his neck. Midoriya had given it to him when they celebrated their birthdays on the day right smack between both their birthdays, a few days after he was locked in the closet. He remembered Midoriya hunched over his desk, calmly telling him to sleep as he held a small penknife in one hand and a kitchen lighter in his other.

"Feathers come from birds. They aren't weighed down by the laws of gravity. We'll find our place, our freedom in this world full of discrimination one day. You're allowed to fly higher than other people. Don't ever let other people weigh you down, and don't ever give up hope, Toshi. I said I'll save you whenever something happens. If I don't come immediately, I'll get there eventually. I'll always be with you, Toshi, no matter where you are."

Midoriya had said, when he carefully clasped the metal chain around Shinsou's neck. It was light. Shinsou liked how it glinted in the light. He always kept it hidden under his shirt when he went to school, scared that the other kids might take it. He always liked the feel of the cool metal pressing against his chest when he attempts to curl up in a ball in a corner of the preschool room to stay as far away from the other kids as possible. It was comforting.

This time, it was no different. The cool metal of the feather and the necklace felt different from the restricting chains that were wrapped around his wrists. He tried to relax his breathing.

Izu will come for me. I just have to wait.

But he knew it wouldn't be so simple. He knew Midoriya was just a teenager. A kid forced to grow up way too fast. He knew that he wasn't dealing with bullies, or biased teachers. These people knew what they were doing. They killed people. He saw him kill someone. They were villains.

He knew it wouldn't be as simple as the time that he was locked in the dark, foreboding metal closet.

He wanted to get out. He wanted to go home, to the only person on the entire planet that cared about him and loved him.

He remembered Midoriya's expression as he lunged at them. His eyes were full of anger, desperation, guilt, sadness, worry.

And fear.

Fear wasn't an expression he saw on Midoriya's face often. He had seen it when Midoriya rescued him from the cupboard. He saw it whenever Midoriya came to school, and saw him hiding in a corner when there was another kid and their parent. But that feeling of fear in Midoriya's eyes, it was a thousand times more potent that Shinsou had ever seen him before.

He curled in on himself. The metal feather was pressed against his skin, and he tried to steady his breathing.

Izu will come for me. Maybe not now, but he'll save me.


It hurt. A lot.

Shinsou didn't know when was the last time it stopped hurting.

He didn't even know how long he had stayed in this place.

They liked to hurt him. Told him to brainwash people. Told him to do stuff he never, ever wanted to do. He didn't want to do it. He never agreed.

His arms hurt where they grabbed him. His ankles and wrists were sore from the chains when they dragged him around. His neck was aching from the heavy metal collar they had put on him a few days after he was pulled away from Midoriya. His lungs were screaming in protest as he coughed.

Everything hurt. He wanted to sleep. But if he slept, they'll hurt him. They always hurt him. If he stayed awake, they wouldn't hurt him. But if he slept, they'll hurt him more. A lot more.

Izu will come for me. Izu will come for me. Izu will -

"Brat, we heard ya the first thousand times already." A man snarled. Shinsou jumped. He didn't realise that he had said that out loud.

"Yeah. That brother of yours ain't coming." Another laughed. "We won't ever be caught. This is a secluded location, kiddo. You'll never be found. Just listen to us, and you'll have your freedom back."

"Hey, the green haired kid ran into the station again today. How many times has he done that already today?" The first man laughed.

"I dunno. It's a Sunday. I think this is the third time he's has done that."

"Doesn't he visit the station every day or something?"

They all roared in laughter.

Shinsou perked up.

"He won't come. He doesn't know where to look. He won't get anywhere, and he'll eventually forget about you and move on with his life, brat." One of them said, seeing Shinsou's hopeful expression.

Shinsou didn't care. Midoriya was still looking for him. He still cared. That's all Shinsou needed.

He'll come save me eventually. I just have to wait.


The pain only got worse.

His ribs were sore. His throat was parched. His stomach was protesting. His lungs hurt.

He didn't know when was the last time he ate or drank something. His ribs were hurting the most. They apparently decided that Shinsuo was a very nice football, and literally kicked him around. His back was sore from the constant impacts against the wall. Shinsou was very surprised that he hasn't broken anything yet.

Or maybe they were broken and he just couldn't feel it cause everything hurt so much.

They still wanted him to use his quirk. Brainwash people. Do bad things.

Though one of the instructions confused him. Summon a demon.

Eh... what?

Yeah, Shinsou had no idea what they wanted with him. Maybe he was going mad.

The feather was pressed against his skin uncomfortably. But he had no intention to move from his position on the ground.

He'll come.


He knew what they wanted.

They kept repeating it, over and over.

They wanted to break him.

Shinsou refused to give in. He wanted to be a hero, just like Midoriya. He wanted to save people, not harm people, god damn it.

Until they called in the brown haired person. The one that paralysed him.

He hated how his body didn't react to him. He hated that he was helpless to do anything. He hated how he couldn't even use his quirk to find some relief from the pain because he had quirk suppressing cuffs and it wasn't like he could brainwashing himself to not feel the pain.

He still refused to give in.

They also wanted Izuku.

They wanted the supposed Demon of Musutafu.

Shinsou didn't want them to hurt Midoriya. Once he gave up, they'll use him to get to Midoriya. He knew it. They said so.

They were just waiting for him to break.

He wasn't going to break.

Midoriya deserved the world. Heck, Shinsou did not even know what he did to get someone as loving as Midoriya. Did he think he deserved Midoriya? Nope. His quirk was bad. Everyone said he was bad. No one wanted him. His mom didn't want him. But he ended up with the most loving and caring person in the whole entire world. Midoriya, the one to ran himself ragged all the time to keep up preschool, his own education, and all the other adult things that needed to be done, just to make sure that Shinsou was happy and they were able to live semi-normally. Shinsou didn't want his brother to get hurt just because he couldn't handle getting hurt.

He didn't want to be a villain anyways.

So when the paralysis finally faded from his limbs, he shakily curled up into a ball, careful to avoid aggravating the injury to his side that he had gotten when they decided to try stabbing him. He had been very, very lucky that the villains sometimes took the time to clean him up, washing the dried blood of his skin and off his hair. His clothes were still torn and broken, and oversized on the smaller boy, but at least they were clean too. They never bother bandaging his injuries, though, and they stung under the water.

He clutched the necklace from under his shirt, and wrinkled his nose, trying not to let the smell of rotting flesh bother him.

I can take this. I'm not gonna let them hurt my brother.

Izu will come for me.


Paralysis isn't fun.

Shinsou didn't like the brown haired guy with piercing red eyes.

But he decided he didn't like this new guy even more.

He had purple hair, just like him, but instead of it being fluffed up, it lay slick against his skull. His purple eyes were cold and calculating, and held no warmth in it. Heck, even the other villains and paralysis guy eventually left the boy alone after roughing him up. This new guy looked like he could murder everyone and not feel a hint of remorse.

And how the heck did Shinsou know that?

There were corpses in the room. Shinsou never saw them before, and his shackles weren't long enough for him to move around that much (Speaking of which, he was sure the skin around his wrists and ankles were probably raw by now. But he couldn't really check in the dark). Only when they entered the room to "collect" him, that was the few times that light flooded into the room he was in.

Once his eyes finally adjusted, he was able to make out the corpses, the rotting, deteriorating corpses, from the shadows.

Shinsou didn't know how to feel. At first he thought they were just mounds of dirt and blood, until a freshly dead body was literally dumped next to him. That was when he realised what they were, and he was pretty sure that wanted to thrw up the first time he finally realised what they were. His stomach was churning with a mixture of emotions: Fear, disgust, pity, sadness, and even more fear.

Shinsou didn't like how the man looked at him, his eyes glinting in the minimal light like Shinsou was some kind of puzzle that he needed to break apart to the very atoms. Shinsou did not like the predatory gaze he had. Heck, he'd rather get paralysed, beaten up, electrocuted, and maybe even stabbed a few times that to be in this new person's presence.

Actually he'd rather go back home. Midoriya's house, not his original birth home. He didn't even know where he originally lived before Midoriya picked him up. He wanted to be back home, with Midoriya. He wanted that warm, comforting hugs. He wanted to nuzzle into Midoriya's shirt, and feel the older boy's hand ruffled his hair gently, twirling each strand delicately, never pulling or tugging too hard. He just wanted to be able to see his surroundings, the desk that Midoriya worked at, tools and scraps spilled over the ground instead of dark rotting guts and other insides Shinsou was sure was supposed to stay inside the human body, and feel the soft fabric of the bed.

He tensed up involuntarily, twitching as pain flared through his side, as the man walked closer.

"Ah. Hitoshi. It's been so long since I've last seen you."

Shinsou flinched.

"I still remember, you were so small, and you just cried. A lot. You've grown up, no?"

Shinsou was confused, hurting a lot, and still very much confused. He was too tired to form a coherent sentence.

"I don't suppose you remember me. I've only seen you five years ago, I suppose. But you're here now. We're family now, after all."

Shinsou didn't like the way the man said that. Midoriya was his only family. No one else wanted him out of the goodness out of their heart like Midoriya did. They always wanted something from him. This man was no different.

He scrambled away from the man, breathing in harshly as his spine was pressed up against the wall. He curled up, and tried to get as far away from the man as possible.

Just calm down. Just wait it out. Izuku will come eventually. He just has too much on his plate and these guys are smart and can hide. He'll come. He still likes me. He still loves and cares about me. He's not going to abandon me like everyone else did. He'll come. I just have to wait.