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Recipe for Sympathy

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The door opened without being knocked upon, causing the man to look up from the papers he was attempting to get into order. From the way the door was simply opened, without any semblance with carefulness or gentleness, Remus Lupin assumed that his visitor would be the hook nosed, black haired potion’s professor. He was right. Snape waved his wand behind him, causing the door to shut behind him as he strided over to the former professor’s desk. The werewolf watched as the man returned his wand to its hiding place within the man’s sleeve, and continued to, in the very same movement, produce a whole potion box from somewhere else within his robes. The box filled with potions was placed upon the desk in front of the professor, he reached out and opened it with his hand, showing the number of potions inside; Lupin managed to count to six before the lid was slammed shut again.

“Twelve bottles.” Snape stated, as he pushed the box over the desk, and took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Twelve months, I hope you appreciate the time and effort it took to prepare this many of them for you .” The last word was spoken through the black haired man’s nose, with some further emphasis.

Lupin would have been bothered by that manner of speaking, if he had still been younger; these days, it seemed Snape had simply taking up the habit of talking down to everyone, unless they were, say, Dumbledore. Instead of letting it bother him, a soft smile spread over his lips, as he reached out and pulled the box closer. “Thank you,” he began “I don’t know how to thank you… These will help very much.”

Snape seemed somewhat taken aback by the genuine appreciation in the werewolf’s voice, so much so that the hateful man’s usually scrunched face seemed to un-scrunch for just a few seconds. Then it went back to normal. Lupin smiled slightly and walked around the desk, leaning back against it with his eyes on the wizard in front of him. “Why haven’t you come to talk to me, at all? Is it that very important to keep up appearances?” The words surprised both men, Snape looked at Lupin as if he had grown a second head, and Lupid looked at Snape as if he was the cause of the second head growth. Perhaps he should have considered his words better before blurting such a statement out…

The dark haired wizard realized that the rules of conversation relied on his response for the conversation to continue, thus he spoke, slowly: “I don’t recall us being friends.” He really did try to keep his voice as dry as old parchment. The werewolf could smell that he was making an effort, his scent did not line up with what he was saying.

“Friends? We were bloody lovers for a time.” The shock on the potion professor’s face was worth the words, even if it was very unfair to bring up their old connections. Then Snape turned to look at the door, and then back at the werewolf, looking as if he was about to bring forth his wand. Lupin closed his arms around his chest, avoiding the other man’s hawk like eyes, it was clear to any observer that the man was ashamed over his words. “My apologies… That, was unfit.” He probably had gone a bit too far.

“Were you hoping I would come running to your bed as soon as you arrived at Hogwarts?” The potion professor demanded, clearly insulted, the werewolf could smell hurt below his anger.

“No, I… I wasn’t expecting anything like that.” Lupin sighed, raising his hands in defense while shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d feel that disgusted by the very idea.”

“I didn’t say I was disgusted, I-” Snape stopped then he realized that he had admitted more than he wanted to, thus continued to quiet down and bite his own lip. Lupin smiled at the sight, it wasn’t often that the former slytherin student bit his lower lip like that. The werewolf reached out and lightly touched the other’s cheek to get his attention. Snape raised his shoulders in slight defense, but he did allow the man to touch him, and he stopped biting his lip.

“It’s Alright. I’m… sorry, I suppose, seeing as you are unmarried and all, I thought… Maybe you just would…”

“What, want it?” The professor snarled at him.

“I was going to say needed , but maybe that is equally bad.”

Snape surprised him with his answer. “I would hardly…  say that I… detest the idea, but things are very different now, compared to then…” The man before him was avoiding Lupin’s eyes. That was strange, Snape never avoided his eyes. Snape didn’t avoid anyone’s eyes. The werewolf thought of pushing him, but decided against it.

Silence hung over them for at least a minute, before Lupin stood up. “Tea?” He asked, heading towards the back of the room.

The potions professor hesitated. “How long until you leave?”

Lupin didn’t look back at him: “I planned on leaving in four days.” He began to prepare the tea for himself, doing so by hand to avoid looking at the wizard behind him.

“...Perhaps, I… might come by later, then.” The man left without any other word, leaving the werewolf alone with his boiling water, and the memory of days long past.

 

---

 

“No, Sirius, that was not funny!” James repeated for, at least, the fourth time, looking like he was about to go at his friend with a particularly nasty and painful spell, to which the other Gryffindor student simply shook his head, throwing his hands up over his head.

“Yes, James, it was bloody hilarious. I am jealous only you got to see Stinky’s face, as he was face to face with real danger.”

“You could have gotten him killed!” James was close to the other boy’s face now, snarling through his teeth.

“Good riddance! He is a snively, disgusting brat, who will definitely grow up to do something real shitty when he grows older, no one will cry over him.” Sirius got up from the chair he had been sitting on, staring back into James’ face.

“And what about Moony?” James was yelling still, his fists balled by his sides.

Sirius sidestepped him, walking over towards Remus and placed his hands on his shoulders, leaning over him from behind. Remus was pulled until Sirius’ cheek was pressed against his, as the animagus snuggled him. “He isn’t upset, are you? We’re actually friends who forgive each other for mistakes, right, Moony?” Sirius looked at him with his big, black eyes, behind his slightly curly fringe. He was attractive, Remus always felt embarrassed when Sirius was close to him. He was quite aware why the handsome teenager made him feel the way he did, but Remus didn’t want to imagine what Sirius might say if he knew that a werewolf found him attractive, or worse yet, how he would use it.

The scarred boy looked up at James, giving him a sympathetic look. “It’s alright, James. I mean, it isn’t… alright, alright, but… there is nothing we can do about it now; we’ll just have to wait and see what Dumbledore says about the matter.” Sirius responded by cuddling him, making very sure to avoid showing his neck to the werewolf. Of course, it was the only sensible action, seeing canines and predators went for the neck, as a weak spot, and thus, didn’t openly display their necks to potential threats.

James snorted but backed down, walking over to one of the many dusty sofas in the Shrieking Shacks, where the four friends usually re-treated when they wanted to be unheard by the rest of the Gryffindor students. Peter, who had been staying back during the entire conversation, slowly shifted on top of the bed he was sitting on, looking his normal nervous self. He did seem less tense now that the two leaders had finished their fighting.

“So… are we going out tonight?” He squeaked, eager to change the topic. Sirius ruffled Lupin’s hair and turned towards the rat animagus.

“If we are!”

Lupin could almost see the dog wagging his tail when he looked upon Sirius. He smiled softly, looking down at his own feet. Below them, on the floor, he could see the many scratch marks which he himself had left there, in his transformed stage. Slowly, he breathed in through his nose, and out through his mouth.

All they could do was await Dumbledore’s verdict… Distracting himself from the thoughts seemed like a good plan. 

Chapter Text

Lupin was sitting in the library, staring down into a book with the title The Hidden Treasures of Lakes - A handy potion making guide . He was attempting to read it for an essay he was working on, as had been given to him by the potions professor for being absent from class, but he found it hard to focus. Earlier that day, he had spoken to Professor Dumbledore, and thus being told that he had no reason to fear being expelled. The man had talked with ‘the student in question,’ and he was absolutely certain that the event would not affect Lupin’s stay at Hogwarts.

The werewolf had told his friends, but he had asked to be left alone for a little bit. The most remote and hidden corner of the library had served him quite well. He was allowed to stay mostly for himself. Lupin had planned on doing some studying on his own, as he was alone, but he found it impossible to stop thinking. Would everything truly be alright? Snape would keep his big mouth shut, under his crooked nose? Snape didn’t seem like the type to leave this matter be, he was always trying to one up James and Sirius, after all, how could he be trusted with something that could get them all in trouble?

“Can I...sit down?” A voice startled the werewolf enough to make him almost drop the book he was holding. As he looked up, he saw the slytherin student with the greasy looking hair, the one whom he had been thinking about.

“Ah...Snape, alright…” He didn’t hesitate, but he clearly had a hard time believing who was talking to him. The other student hesitated, hugging a book to his hip. Snape’s eyes darted around, searching for another member of the marauders. “I’m alone today.” Lupin informed him, when Snape still hesitated to sit down.

“...I changed my mind, can we… talk outside?” The greasy teenager continued, absently brushing some of his dark hair out of his face.

Lupin hesitated too, before he responded. “...Alright, you want to talk? I...suppose that is fair.” He closed the book and returned it to the shelf where he had taken it. Snape stayed back a little, seemingly observing him from behind his greasy fringe.

Snape didn’t speak to him right away, instead lead him a little bit away from the castle grounds, towards the lake. Both of them could feel the discomfort in the air, but Lupin could smell it, like thick fog coming from the other teenager. They continued on, until the Slytherin stopped by some rocks that worked very well as seats. He glanced back at Lupin and then showed the werewolf towards one of the rocks, while he himself got seated onto the other one. Only now did Lupid catch a glance at the book that the other was holding. Magical diseases, 7th edition.

The werewolf sat down, looking out over the lake as Snape stared forward without saying anything. It was getting too uncomfortable for the Gryffindor student, he was positively antsy with discomfort, in general. Finally, Snape opened his mouth and began speaking:

“I never really paid that much attention to you.” He began. “Of course, I know you, and I can’t say I like you or Pettigrew. I did think something was off with you, but I kind of thought…” He trailed off, something that caused Lupin to raise an eyebrow at him.

“You thought what?”

“...I don’t know, I… thought someone was… beating you.”

The words were so surprising to the werewolf, that he ended up at a loss for words. “You thought… somebody was hurting me? Who?”

Snape briefly glanced at him, before turning away, as if ashamed. “I… don’t know.”

Realization dawned on him. “They are my friends, Snape. They wouldn’t hurt me.” Lupin put extra emphasis on the word friends, trying to really make his point clear.

“Friends!” The Slytherin snorted, now fully turning to him, he looked upset, but he didn’t smell upset for his own sake. “Your friend Black almost made you a bloody murderer! How is that being a friend?”

“He…” Lupin was caught off guard, but he still tried to respond to the other teenager. “It… nothing like that happened… He didn’t mean to do anything like that.”

“Oh, he simply wanted you to see me and… do what? Infect me? Kill me? He is supposedly more clever than to believe you would not catch scent of me after a while?” Snape turned away, swallowing. He was, rightfully, scared over what might have happened to himself. Lupin wished that he could say something to comfort the other, but it was true that a werewolf was a danger to everything human that came close to it.

“I...I’m sorry.” It was all he could find to say, as he curled together slightly on top of the rock.

Snape’s head snapped around at him, giving the werewolf a look of disbelief. “You’re sorry? Is that… did you just say you were sorry?”

“Of course I am… I am, I could have made you into, well… a monster.” Lupin pulled his legs up to his chest, staring out over the waters as he hugged them. “Death would… have been preferable to… ending up like me.”

Snape was quiet after that comment, also looking out over the lake. “Then why are you still protecting Black?” He finally inquired. “You just now stated that it is better to be dead than to be a werewolf, and you still try to say that Black’s actions were justifiable?”

Lupin finally looked up at him, he looked lost and uncertain, but nonetheless responded with: “it’s not...nothing happened. Please, you won’t be able to turn me against him by acting as if he is some sort of antagonist.”

Snape stood up. “Fine. If that is the way you want it.” He began to walk away, causing Lupin to get up and follow him. The Slytherin spun around to face the other teenager, holding his book up as if he was about to use it as a shield.

“Wait, wait, you… you won’t tell anyone about me, right? I know you hate my friends but don’t use me to hurt them, please?” He begged, despite what Dumbledore had said, he did not dare trusting the other teenager with so big a secret.

The greasy teenager stared him straight in the eyes as he responded: “I’m not so cruel as to try and use your misfortune to hurt someone I don’t like.”

---

“Do you want to play gobstones later, Remus?” Peter asked, leaning over the table to grab some more frog legs. They were sitting in the big hall, eating dinner. A few days had passed since he had spoken with Snape. He could see him over at the Slytherin table, seemingly reading the same book he had been reading when they had talked. The werewolf wondered if he really was trustworthy. “Remus?” The rat animagus almost whined, as he failed to get the other teenager’s attention.

“Remus, Peter is talking to you.” James lightly pushed an elbow into the side of the werewolf’s, causing him to jolt slightly. James and Sirius had seemingly forgotten all about their fight, everyone was acting as if they hadn’t all gotten dangerously close to hurting a fellow student. “Are you alright?” Potter continued on, letting his eyes move over his friend’s face.

“Yes, I am fine. What did you say, Peter?” He turned towards the smallest of their group, giving him a smile.

Sirius turned around, having tried to follow Lupin’s eyes towards the Slytherin table. “Are you still worried about Snape? If the greasy bastard does anything to you, you know we’ll make him regret it for the rest of his life.”

“Sirius…” James rolled his eyes. “Not so loud, a teacher will hear and get all upset about it.”

“Bah, as if they would be a problem…” The dog Animagus continued on, resting his head in his hand with a sigh. “But I get it. I’ll quiet down.”

“I was asking, Remus” said Peter, trying for the third time to get his attention, “if you wanted to play gobstones later. James has Quidditch practice and Sirius has a date.”

“...You’re skipping practice again?” James turned to Sirius, who grinned back, they all heard him kicking Peter under the table, followed by the smaller boy’s whimper of pain, as he tried to hold back from crying.

“What, no, I have a cold. Just going to rest this one out so that I will be in top shape during the real game.” Sirius shrugged, starting to get up. “Speaking off, I should get to bed. See you all later.” He was halfway down the tables before James even got up. The latter muttered something as he headed after his friend, most likely not planning on changing the other’s mind, but to get ready for practice.

“Remus…?” Asked Peter, one last time, looking pleading at him.

“...Can we play tomorrow, was it? I have an essay to write for potion class.” The werewolf got up as well, he could smell the sadness coming from Peter, as the smaller boy lowered his head in defeat.

“O...okay. Can I come with you to the library?” He pleaded. “I won’t make a noise, promise. I will be quiet as a mouse!”

The werewolf held back a sigh. “Yes, I suppose you can come with me, if you want to.” Peter’s face lit up, and he got to his feet.

“As a mouse!” He repeated happily, and followed Lupin towards the doors.

----

Peter was sitting on the side of the table, he had pulled out a bag and was currently placing a collection of little cards all around him on said table. Remus glanced over at what he was doing when he returned to the table, carrying a few books with him. Peter caught his eye but quickly looked away, staying, as he had promised, silent as a mouse.

The werewolf sat down and opened one of the books, turning to the page he had noted down in his essay. For a while, they remained silent, until Peter started to get antsy in his chair. He had until that point rearranged his cards at least ten times. The cards in front of the rat animagus had small portraits of famous wizards on them, and the small boy was seemingly taking pleasure with placing them next to each other, to see their reactions. He seemed to find particular joy in when the tiny faces on the small cards scrunched up in anger and the inhabitants of the cards began to silently bicker or fight.

“Peter.” Remus spoke up, causing the boy to jump slightly, looking as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“I’m sorry, did I bother you?” He started to gather his cards before the werewolf could lie and say no.

“No, I was just wondering if you could, if you want to, help me with going to get a book for me?” Remus lied, he didn’t want to admit it but he had a hard time concentrating when the other teenager played next to him.

“Sure!” The boy squealed, smiling at his friend. “Which one do you need?”

Advanced Potion Making: Volume 14, Deep sea ingredients.

Peter noted the name down in his little notebook, which he was always carrying around, in case he needed to remember something too important to leave to his memory, which, as Sirius liked to point out, wasn’t all that reliable. “I will be right back!” He scrambled out of the corner and headed towards the potion making section.

Remus sighed and returned to his essay, finally able to concentrate on his own studies. He only managed to focus for a few minutes until someone else sat down opposite of him. He glanced up to find Snape sitting there, having placed a book in front of himself. This time, the book was a different one, still about magical diseases.

Snape glanced at the books in front of Remus. “The deep sea potion making book is volume four.” He greeted the werewolf.

“...Oh, it is?” Remus returned to writing, hoping that his ears weren’t turning red.

“Yes. Also, you have all the volumes you need in front of you. The advanced ones aren’t necessary for this level of potion making.” He stated, moving one hand up to remove some of his hair from his face. It hit Remus that he had never really seen that much of the other teenager’s face at once. Snape tended to sit with his head bent forward, as if he was trying to use the black strands as a wall to shield himself from the world. From his very limited ‘Snape interactions,’ Remus could not recall the other boy making an effort to really face someone when he was speaking to them. The fact that he did now struck the teenager as… slightly odd.

“...I… thought it might be best to check against a more advanced source to measure the correct amount of Luminous Seaweed needed for the Bollyyart plant growth extract.” The werewolf was avoiding to look at the other teenager, but he could feel Snape observing him.

“Mhn.” Snape clearly didn’t believe him.

“Did you… want something?” Remus almost snapped at him, but he managed to hold back.

“Yes, actually.” The Slytherin leaned in somewhat, to make sure that the other could hear him. “I wanted to ask you something: if none of your friends are responsible, why do you have so many scars on your body? How come you are sometimes walking as if your legs are hurting?”

The werewolf flinched slightly, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. “I… I am not sure I…”

“Sure you aren’t.” Snape gave him no mercy in pointing out the lie.

Remus took a deeper breath, glancing up at the other teenager. He couldn’t help himself, his body was practically screaming discomfort, he had resorted to curling himself together somewhat, almost feeling the urge to growl at the other teenager. “If you… absolutely have to know…” he began “It’s… There are a lot of strong urges, battling against each other inside me when… That happens. I can’t leave the house, and breaking things isn’t enough to calm it down. It is… just… When I do it, when I feel pain, it makes it easier to remember what it’s like when I am… not like that. Pain calls me back to, well… being me.” He had never spoken about it before. None of the Marauders spoke of it, the nurses in the hospital wing just silently took care of the wounds, and the wounds were left to heal into scars. He didn’t seen Dumbledore often enough to even know if the man knew about the wounds altogether.

Snape was observing him, silently studying him. Remus glanced at him. Before Snape could find the words to respond to him, Peter suddenly came barging back, carrying three different volumes, which looked too heavy for him to be carrying on his own. He heaved the books down onto the table, before he noticed that Snape was sitting there. Remus couldn’t see Peter’s expression, but he could smell the surprise and fear that came from the boy. Over the strong scents that the rat animagus produced, the werewolf didn’t manage to feel the ones that the Slytherin produced. Before Peter had the time to say anything, Snape had gotten up and was heading towards the doors of the library, with the book under his arm.

Remus was faced with Peter’s big eyes, and twitchy nose, as the smaller boy turned towards him. “...What did he want?” The pronoun was whispered as if it might call the Slytherin back to bite him, if Peter said it loud enough.

Remus reached for the books which the other boy had gotten for him, busying himself with the task of looking them over. “I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

Chapter Text

“Wow, Peter. If you had half as good aim as you do when playing Gobstones, girls might even know you exist. From how miserably you’d hit the wall when trying to approach them.” Sirius flicked his gobstone, sending it crashing into Peter’s, scattering them over the stones of the courtyard. The black haired teenager leaned back with a huff, shaking his head. “Seriously, this game is for first years. We’re too old to find this amusing, why do you still want to play it?”

He moved his hand through his hair, sighing dramatically before his face lit up. He crawled over to Peter, on all fours, as the smaller teenager was trying to gather his stones with his hands. Peter always did things with his hands before he remembered to use his wand. Sirius nearly stepped on the boy’s hands as he pushed his face way past the other’s comfort zone. The dog animagus grinned at his friend, as if he was about to eat him. Peter flushed red from the handsome teenager being so close, Remus could feel the confused, sexual attraction that practically oozed from the smaller boy. “You know what we could do instead?” The dog animagus nearly purred, slightly wagging his hips where he stood on all fours, looking up at the rat boy.

Peter swallowed, unable to answer with more than a shake of his head.

“We should...duel.” Sirius grinned wider and sat up, grabbing the other teenager’s arm. “That would be so much more fun than stupid gobstones!”

“But, but…” Peter was even redder now, if that was possible. “It’s not even… allowed.”

“How many of the things we do are allowed, Wormtail?” Sirius had managed to pull the smaller boy to his feet.

“But… but…” Peter tried again, looking over at the werewolf for help. “Remus…?” He pleaded.

The werewolf looked up from his book, having tried his best to continue reading it while the other two teenagers bickered. He sighed and shook his head. “Leave me out of it, please.”

Sirius was about to drag Peter off towards a more secluded place, when James landed in front of them on the courtyard. James stepped off his broom, surveyed the scene and shook his head. “You don’t want to battle Wormtail, do you, Sirius? I am much more of a challenge.” He grinned. Sirius grinned too and let go of Peter.

“You are on.”

The two teenagers continued with their friendly bickering as they headed away from the courtyard to duel one another. Peter stopped to ask Remus if he wanted to come along, but the werewolf shook his head, stating that he was fine where he was. Peter nodded and rushed after the other two Marauders, squeaking for them to wait up. They did stop to let the smaller boy catch up to them.

When Remus was positive that they were gone, he got to his feet and stuffed the book into his robes. He headed the opposite direction from his friends, towards the end of the forest. He knew that Snape tended to read alone by the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, and hoped to catch him alone. He was in luck, and quickly managed to catch the scent of the teenager. He followed it to a very secluded place, surrounded by thick bushes, one where it was more or less impossible to spot someone, if one didn’t know they were there. Snape looked more than surprised when he saw Remus push past the foliage to enter the almost cave-like grotto of bushes. Snape was sitting by a log, reading the same book as yesterday. He immediately smelled threatened when he spotted the werewolf.

“How did you find me? Are you alone?” He demanded to know. It was… a little embarrassing to realize that the slytherin’s first thought to seeing Remus was feeling threatened, acting as if he would get hurt or attacked by the Marauders. Well, not embarrassing… just, the werewolf didn’t manage to put it into words in his head.

“I…” Remus hesitated but then decided that it wouldn’t do any more harm than had already happened. Snape did know after all. “I followed your scent.” He clarified, sitting down in front of the other, but made sure to sit far enough from him that Snape would hopefully not feel threatened. “And yes, I am alone.”

The Slytherin closed the book, but left it in his lap; while defensive yet, something seemed to have grabbed his attention enough to become a distraction. “You… can do that, even like this?” He asked.

Remus nodded, moving his legs up to hug them, as he watched the other teenager. “Yes. I have far better hearing, and a better sense of smell than... normal people seem to have.”

Snape leaned forward just a little, keeping his eyes on the Gryffindor. “Truly? What...else is different for you?”

The werewolf hesitated. “Why do you want to know?”

The greasy teenager shrugged. “You clearly have a need to talk about it, and none of your friends care to listen.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Then why do you come to talk to me so much?”

“I don’t.” Remus felt his voice turn ever so slightly into a growl. “You have been the one  coming to me, and then you didn’t tell me what you actually wanted with the question I answered yesterday.”

Snape’s eyes flashed with a hint of alertness, then calmed with the brighter light of understanding. The greasy teenager relaxed somewhat again. “Mh. I… guess I didn’t.”

They were both silent for a bit, until Remus spoke. “So why did you want to know? Why are you… asking so much? You said you weren’t going to use this against me so… why?”

The other teenager hesitated, but then he brought up the book he had been reading, handing it over to a confused Remus, who grabbed it. “Pages 63 to 65.” Snape continued, as if the words would make sense to the boy in front of him. “That is three pages. Solely devoted to lycanthropy.”

Remus flipped the book open, looking down at the drawings of the werewolves on the pages, as the condition was described. “Have you been reading the same three pages for… two days?”

Snape scoffed. “What sort of imbecile would consider to read the same three pages for two days straight; no, I wasn’t only reading about werewolves.” He took the book back from the other teenager, only to close it again. “None of the books I have consulted describes anything about what it’s like to live with the condition. They all boldly state that there is no cure, and nothing can be done about it.”

Remus let out a borderline silent laugh, placing his head on his knees as he looked at the Slytherin. “What would I do without you telling me these things?” He joked, causing Snape to glare daggers into him. The disapproval made the air smell foul, causing the werewolf to shrink back a little. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, sorry.”

“I am not upset.”

The scent was still strong around the other teenager. Remus raised his hand and lightly tapped himself on the nose.

“You mean to say you can smell what I am feeling?” Snape sounded very accusing when he half said, half spat the words at the werewolf.

“That… is a rather strong way of putting it,” Remus began, “it’s not exactly correct, but not exactly wrong. Emotions cause different reactions in the body too, not purely in the mind. I think it has more to do with my nose reacting to those scents. Over the years, I’ve pierced together what most of those scents mean.”

“That’s… interesting. What else is different for you?” Snape asked, staring intensely at him  now. Remus found that he didn’t quite like being such an object of interest, it was a little unnerving.

“Uh…” The werewolf thought of it. “I find it very hard to concentrate sometimes. When there are a lot of things going on, a lot of people passing, or many strong scents. If, say… Peter is playing with his cards beside me when I am studying, I can’t focus on the work I am trying to do.”

Snape nodded, he was seemingly taking mental notes. “So, improved hearing, improved sense of smell; you can ‘smell’ people’s moods. I have noticed that you growled before, does it happen often?”

“What...I did?” Remus couldn’t help but look surprised at the statement. Once again, the Slytherin nodded, looking somewhat triumphant over having caught the werewolf off guard. Lupin sighed. “No, it happens, but not often. I can… usually control it.”

“Do you have mood swings?”

“Sometimes, but I think every teenager does. It… tends to get very hard for me to ignore or suppress urges. It gets worse the closer it is to a full moon. ”

“Elaborate.” Snape demanded.

“I… I would rather not.” Remus avoided his eyes again. Of all the uncomfortable things Snape was demanding to know, that was going a little too far into the werewolf’s private matters.

They were silent for a little bit, until Snape spoke up. “Frankly, it does sound like, well… a dog. Most of those behaviors and traits seem to be shared with any other canine.”

The words caught Remus completely off guard, he gaped at the Slytherin. Snape quickly became uncomfortable with his gawking. A low, wea,k and rather disbelieving chuckle left the werewolf’s lips. “I don’t think you can compare a werewolf to any other canine…” He smiled, but it didn’t look in any way cheerful. “But… I guess that was a kind of nice thought. Thank you for, well, trying.”

Snape scoffed again. “I know they are not the same, but the behaviors sound similar enough to be compared.”

“You saw me, you saw what the beast looked like…” Remus couldn’t believe what Snape was insinuating. Without elaborating too far on the matter, he was a monster, an uncontrollable beast, a creature to tell young wizards and witches of, to scare them out of heading into the woods alone or staying out too late at night. Also, dogs tended to have more fur…

“But you aren’t the beast all the time, are you?” The words seemed to hang in the air until the Slytherin snorted and reopened his book. “I don’t have time to argue with you, if you don’t have anything else to say, you can leave.”

“Alright.” Remus stayed where he was, trying to think of something to say, something that would prolong the conversation. Strange, he didn’t know exactly why he wanted to talk to the unpleasant and unfriendly slytherin further, especially since they were mostly discussing matters uncomfortable for him. Yet, perhaps there was a point to what Snape had stated; he truly had no one else to speak of the matter with. In the end, he could think of nothing to say, and thus, he had to get up. As he was crawling out of the bushes, Snape called after him.

“Dittany. It can cure shallow wounds. Not that you seem capable of harming yourself in a fashion close to shallow, but you can always chew some if you manage to not tear yourself apart.” Snape didn’t look up from his book as he spoke. The werewolf smiled and nodded.

“Dittany. Thank you.”

Chapter Text

James flicked the feather with his finger, sending it tumbling through the air. After this, he waved his wand, sending a puff of smoke underneath the feather. He played his little game, mostly doing so to practice casting spells without speaking. As a renowned genius, even non verbal magic seemed easy for the teenager. Sirius was good at it too, but not as good as James was. Peter looked longingly at James’ wand, Remus could borderline feel the desire for such genius to be his. Peter often smelled liked that, even if he adored James and Sirius, he also wanted what they had. Remus understood that desire, he also, wanted a few things that other people had, so he didn’t blame the rat animagus for his desires.

“What are you chewing on, Rem?” James asked, looking over at the werewolf, who had snuggled himself up by the fire, they were all sitting in the Gryffindor students’ common room. James was sitting in one of the more comfortable of the room’s armchairs, his legs lazily thrown over the armrest. Peter was sitting on the floor by James’ chair, looking like a puppy where he sat curled together. Sirius was off somewhere, probably with another one of his ‘flings,’ as James’ called them.

“Dittany.” The werewolf responded, showing the plant to the other teenager.

“Is it good?” Peter asked, looking up from the cards he was playing with, in usual fashion.

“Not really.” Before the rat animagus could question why he was eating it if it wasn’t good, Remus continued. “It’s a healing herb, it helps against shallow cuts and wounds.”

Worry passed over both of his friends’ faces. Peter looked down but James turned towards him. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, it’s nothing worse than normal.” Remus smiled at his friend, allowing himself to sink back into the blankets. “I’ll be fine.” He added, chewing some more on the plant as he looked into the sparks of the fire. He could almost feel the shallower cuts heal on his arms and back, the sensation that came with the herb was one of warm and relaxation, as magic pulled the skin together over the wounds, healing them faster than by normal means.

Sirius strided into the room, his hair slightly ruffled, and the smell that came of him was heavy with sexual desire. It was so strong that Remus’ nose scrunched with the scent. Sirius headed straight for him, squatting down next to him and spoke with a voice which was as sweet as honey. “Hey, what was the new password to the Prefects’ bathroom again?”

“No.” Remus sighed, shaking his head.

“Come on, why not?” Sirius sat down in front of him, giving his friend his best puppy-eyed look. “You didn’t have a problem with it before.” Both of them kept their voices low, to avoid anyone else hearing them speak. Peter strained his neck to listen in, but James did nothing of the sort.

“Because, Padfoot, you don’t visit the bathroom alone.” Remus leaned in, whispering in a low voice to keep anyone from hearing.

Sirius chuckled and moved closer, borderline making their noses touch. “What? Are you jealous I never bring my friends along? If I had known you were feeling that left out, I would have taken you there alone, much, much earlier.”

The words made werewolf’s face turn a deep red, and he turned away from Sirius’ sharp eyes. The black haired chuckled weakly and leaned in, following Remus’ retreat until he could whisper in his ear. “You could have asked , Moony.”

“Sirius.” James called over the room. “Your flick is waiting, leave Remus out of it.”

“But I need the password, James…” Sirius did back off, when his friend told him to do so, sitting down on his bum and looked sadly at the teenager with glasses.

“Take her to the RoR then. I am sure she’d appreciate all the fun things you can imagine in there.” James used the abbreviation to avoid saying ‘the Room of Requirements’ out loud, in case somebody who listened decided to question them about the room at a later time. James threw the feather into the air, and continued to make it fly without saying the name of the spell out loud.

Sirius got up, giving a sigh. “Not as romantic, but I suppose it will do.” Just before he disappeared around the corner, he added: “It’s a he, this time.” With that, he was gone.

----

Peter looked up at Remus, while he was waiting for the latter to finish brushing his teeth. It was still the same evening as when Sirius had asked to use the prefects’ room, and something had clearly been troubling Peter all evening. Finally, when he was alone with the less attractive of the other Marauders, he dared asking him what had been on his mind all that time. “Do you think he’d actually… you know, do it with one of us?”

Remus spit his toothpaste out, and then washed his face off in the sink, and then looked up at the other teenager. “You mean if he would make one of us his flick for the night?”

“Well… maybe it wouldn’t be just flick…. Maybe it would last a little longer than just one night?” Peter tried, glancing himself at the mirror before he quickly looked away from his reflection.

“I don’t think it would be worth it.” Remus confessed, with a sigh.

“I think it would…” Peter objected meekly. “He’s always with people, he must be good at it. I’m sure he’d be able to make you feel really special.”

“Yeah, and then he would make you feel like nothing, because you wouldn’t be worthy of him anymore. You know how he’s treated some of the people who’ve tried to approach him after being a fling.” Remus leaned against the sink as he spoke to his friend. “Really, I think you’d only be miserable, if you were his fling.”

“Maybe I’m just not good enough to be more than anyone’s fling.” Peter muttered, knowing fully well that Remus was right in claiming that Sirius most likely wouldn’t be very nice as a lover.

“Peter…” The werewolf sighed and shook his head. “Don’t start again. Please. You will find someone nice, one day. I am really sleepy, it… has been a long day.” Remus headed for the door to the bathroom, leaving his friend alone.

Normally, he wouldn’t mind the other’s insecurities, but today, he just couldn’t find the energy to restate the same things over and over again until Peter felt better. As he curled down under the blanket, he decided he would make it up for Peter by letting the other talk about his chocolate frog cards tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Remus left the Gryffindor common room early in the morning, still not completely awake, as he headed down the stairs, only to take another set of stairs up again. After this, he walked down the corridors and nearly collided with a house elf, who scrambled away before the werewolf could apologize for the collision. Finally, he reached the room he was heading for, when he arrived, he found that at least five people had arrived before him. It was the prefects from the houses, rathered to discuss and exchange changes and information. Remus found the meetings mostly formal, most students were simply there to talk to their fellow Prefects, others to complain, while a few selected individuals thought that them being Prefects would actually allow them to change things around the school. Remus, he was there because he didn’t have a choice, and because the specially prepared breakfast was enough to get anyone out of bed.

He was greeted by an older Ravenclaw Prefect, who gurgled out a ‘good morning,’ as she made a successful attempt to apply her coffee cup to her lips. Remus nodded and reached out for a piece of ham that he stuffed in his own mouth, almost swallowing the whole thing whole. A little further down the table, a Hufflepuff was discussing the current political climate between two of the Ministry of Magic’s faculties, with a Slytherin student, who seemed absolutely transfixed by the conversation. Remus could smell the confused, attracted feelings that came from the younger Slytherin student, so he resorted to pouring himself a cup of tea, politely beginning to speak with the Ravenclaw student, so that he wouldn’t have to focus on the other two.

Remus didn’t see his friends until the first lesson that day, even then, he didn’t have time to really say hi before the class began. During it, the werewolf noticed that Sirius and Peter kept on glancing at him, Peter with clear hints of alarmed worry in his eyes. Remus wondered what he had missed, seeing as something had evidently happened when he was off at that meeting.

After class, he walked alongside them to the second lesson, which was Potion class. When they arrived in the dungeons, he spotted a group of Slytherins, who were talking in loud voices, laughing even louder. The werewolf stretched his neck, trying to see if Snape was with them or not, Snape did tend to prefer being alone, rather than in a big group.

“Ugh… Snivelus is hanging around your girl again…” Sirius’s nose scrunched, as if he could smell something bad. When Remus looked, he saw the Slytherin speak with Lily Evans, the two of them standing slightly away from the rest of the group. The redhead did not look bothered at all by the other student, in fact, she even looked to be smiling. The werewolf turned his attention to Snape, and he noticed that the teenager had removed some of the greasy hair from his face. He recalled Snape doing the same back when they had spoken in the library, when the greasy boy had asked him about his wounds. Somehow, a spark of jealousy hit him, he spark was gone as soon as it had appeared, but it left Remus confused over what he had to be jealous about. He was well aware that Lily and Snape were friends since childhood, there was nothing odd about them speaking so… What was there to be jealous about.

James clicked his tongue and strode over to the redhead and the greasehead, asserting himself with a big smile. “Good morning, Lily, are you excited about the Quidditch game this weekend?”  

Snape almost flinched as James suddenly appeared, but he didn’t waste time hanging around, instead, he said goodbye to his friend and began to wander off. Sirius got in his way, giving him one of his characteristically big grins. “Wow, your hair looks greasier than ever. Can’t believe you haven’t stained your face with all that grease.” Sirius reached out, as if to touch the Slytherin.

In response, Snape swatted his hand away. “Black. You have used the same insult for five years, for someone so clever, you are surprisingly basic in your wordings.”

Sirius Black did not take well to being called basic, in any sense of the word. He was reaching for his wand as Lily stepped between the two of them. “Hey, leave him alone, Black.” She demanded.

“Lily, come on, it’s just a joke.” James tried to soothe her, he even reached out to pat Snape, which the boy of course took as further mockery and rejected by swatting that hand away too. “Ow, why the heck did you do that for? I was just trying to be friendly!” James responded; Remus could easily tell that his friend was faking the undertone of hurt in his voice.

“I was just complimenting him, seeing as he loves looking so unwashed.” Sirius stuffed the wand back into his sleeve, sighing dramatically. “Why do you always act so attacked, Snerp?”

“You are so incredibly immature!” Lily seemed about to stomp her foot down with irritation.

Before she could continue, someone pushed Sirius from behind, sending the boy stumbling before he spun around towards his attacker. Their argument had drawn the attention from the group of Slytherin students, who had approached like a pack of hyenas to a carcass. “And what is going on over here?” The biggest of them asked, placing his hands on his hips to make himself look firm and certain of his gause.

Next to Remus, Peter hurried to the aid of the other Marauders, he and a group of other Gryffindor students seemed almost eager to participate in the possible brawl, which scent hung heavy in the air. The werewolf stayed back, he had no desire to get stuck in any kind of battle. He never really tried to involve himself in these kind of situations, instead hanging back until he was really needed. In most cases, the tension was usually there, but fighting was usually stopped by a teacher.

As he thought that, the doors to the potion classroom swung open, and Horace Slughorn, the potion teacher, appeared. He looked the scene over, blinking with slight confused and then waved his hands. “Children, children. Behave. Slytherins, you are better than to give in to the silly taunts of Gryffindors!” He scolded them and turned towards Lily, who was still standing in the middle, keeping Sirius and Snape away from one another. “Ah, Ms. Evans. Brilliant. You used yourself as a shield for your classmates? A little risky, but a brave action nonetheless. Five points to Gryffindor. Don’t make it a habit. Now, everyone, in, in, there are potions to be brewed!”

Normally, the students would have objected to the praise which the girl received, especially the Slytherins, but she was one of Slughorn’s favorite students, and the man did not shy away from showing favoritism. Most Slytherin students were aware of the fact that the man was very likely to give them at least ten points during the lesson itself, meaning that at the end of that day, the five points which the girl had been given wouldn’t mean anything.

----

“I hate potion class…” Peter whined, after the lesson had been completed. They were heading to lunch, and the small boy looked desperate to get out of the dungeons. Remus couldn’t quite help but think that a rat should probably be rather comfortable in a place such as a dungeon. It was a little amusing to him that Peter wasn’t.

“You did well, you even completed the potion without big, uh… mistakes this time.” Remus encouraged him.

“He called me basic!” Sirius exclaimed as they sat down by the dining table, for at least the fifth time since they had left the dungeon. “How dare he? The bloody, sniveling little…!” He stuffed his mouth with a piece of chicken, leaving the dead animal to know his curse words as it muffled his noises.

“You eat like a dog when you are upset…” James was trying to hold back his laughter, but a small chuckle escaped his lips. His comment was responded to by more chicken muffled curses.

Remus reached for the water, pouring some into his glass before he asked the question which had been lingering in the back of his head all day: “what was the matter with you all this morning? Did something happen?”

The remaining Marauders stopped with what they were doing, and looked at him. They were silent, until Sirius swallowed his food and spoke up. “What the heck is Snivelus doing, talking so much to you? Has the little shit started to blackmail you about that?” That, of course, referring to the werewolf’s secret.

Remus blinked with confusion, he felt as if his mind was slowing to a complete halt. He had heard the other’s words, but it felt like it took an eternity to process them. Slowly, he opened his mouth: “I...what?”

“Is he threatening you with that?” James filled in. “Is that why you are running off to him so much lately?”

“Wait, wait…” Remus raised a hand. “I am not sure what you are talking about. We spoke a few times but he’s not…”

“Remus.” Peter interrupted him. “I saw you follow him out into the woods, and then at the library, you looked really shaken after talking to him. Then, after James and Sirius had...uh, you know, when we came back, you were gone!” He looked honestly worried, and smelled the part too. “Even today, you were all… staring at him, looking scared. Then you didn’t join in when things started to escalate!” Remus had not looked scared, he wasn’t sure how Peter had arrived to that conclusion, but the boy was clearly honest in thinking that the werewolf had been scared.

“Also, none of us really believe that Snape would just give you a suggestion to help you. That thing with the root seems way too nice for him, are you sure you are not experiencing any sort of side effects from it?” James continued, looking straight at Remus, as if he could see through him.

“You’re wrong.” Remus breathed out in a more or less gasp. “Nothing like that is going on, I am definitely not scared of Snape, and he is not blackmailing me.”

“You don’t look like you’re telling the truth.” Sirius grunted, crossing his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“I am.” Remus stated calmly. “I know you guys and him don’t get along, but-” He didn’t have time to finish before Sirius interrupted him again.

“‘You guys,’ what happened to ‘we?’” The dog animagus demanded.

“Yeah, Remus, why are you taking distance from us?” Peter asked, looking at him with hurt eyes. “I thought we were friends!” He added, in a meek voice.

“We are friends, but-”

“What do you mean with ‘but?’” Sirius interrupted again, this time, he ended up pushing Remus too far. The tone of the voice made it obvious just that the teenager was accusing him, as if he had done wrong in merely talking to the slytherin student.

The werewolf growled at his friend and stood up. “If you don’t want me to answer, then I won’t. Nothing is wrong.” His words were spoken in a low tone of voice, expressed calmly and with precision. As he turned around and walked out of the dining halls, people around him didn’t really react to his walking away, due to the exit being so very controlled.

---

“Well, Remus… that was mature…” The werewolf whined to himself as he sank down on the ground, covering his face with his hands. He had left the dining hall and headed straight to that hidden little bush cave, where he had found Snape a few days prior. He had felt like hiding, to be alone where he didn’t think the others would find him right away, and this place had been the easiest to get to. How had everything gotten to this? He had spoken to Snape a few times, and it had caused all his friends to rise up against the Slytherin. Remus almost felt as if he was being used, once more, to cause problems for Snape. He knew that the Marauders cared for the werewolf, and that they wanted help him out of a possibly troublesome situation, but Sirius had truly gotten under his skin, with his sudden quest to prove that Remus wasn’t their friend anymore, for talking to Snape.

Remus pulled his legs up, curling together into a ball as he pressed his head to his knees. Maybe… Sirius did have the right to be angry? Snape wasn’t a pleasant person, he wasn’t even easy to talk to. It didn’t make sense as to why he’d risk losing his friends over someone like him. He and Snape weren’t even friends in the first place. What a mess.

As he stressed himself up over thinking about what had just happened, something in the back of his mind realized that his skin was itching. It was as if his hand moved on its own, absently finding the source of the itching: the half healed wounds on his left arm. The pain that came with the itching quickly startled him to stop the action. Remus swallowed when he realized what he had been about to do. It was shameful enough that he scratched and bit himself as a werewolf, he hated to think of people’s reactions if he began hurting himself as a human too. If he needed pain to calm himself down… No, he did not want to think about it.

There was a rustle in the bushes, and in crawled Severus Snape. He stopped when he spotted the werewolf, Remus could see his eyes turning darker, the scent around him changed to one of discomfort and alarm. “...How wonderful. Now I have to find a new place to be alone in…” The boy’s voice was as dry as parchment. Snape turned to crawl back the way he came.

“Oh, n… No, it’s your place. I should leave.” Remus moved to his feet, but when he was eye to eye level with Snape, he stopped, sitting back down on his legs. “Could I… talk to you for a bit? I don’t mean to impose but…”

The other boy scrunched his nose at the thought, looking over the werewolf with clear dislike. “This very morning, your friends attacked me, like they always do, and you just stood by and watched. What makes you think I want to even look at your sorry, scarred face? Much less talk to it.”

Shame caused the werewolf to hang his head, as his arms moved up to lace around his own body, in a feeble attempt to make himself feel less… exposed.

“Oh, please.” Snape sounded offended. “You’re not expecting me to feel bad for you? You pathetic halfblood .” He spit out the last word as if it was a curse, then, he looked shocked over what had just left his lips.

Remus glanced up and realized that Snape was biting his own lip, looking uncomfortable and smelling even worse of discomfort. The werewolf slowly parted his lips. “I see you have some bad friends as well. But, uh… It is a little impressive that you didn’t go for the easier insult.”

Snape looked up at him. It seemed to take a lot out of the Slytherin, but finally, he mumbled a response: “I’m… sorry. I suppose I might not have… meant it. Not exactly like that.”

“Can we… still talk?” Remus tried again.

“You still want to talk to me?” Snape stared at him, before he resigned his efforts. “You won’t give up, will you… Fine, I will listen to you. But don’t bother me for too long.”

They shifted around, Remus allowed Snape access to his favorite place in the bush grotto: being seated on the ground with his back against the log. The werewolf’s starting position, as they began speaking, was a little away from the other, but somehow, during their talking, he moved closer, until they were sitting next to one another. Snape didn’t seem to like his approach too much, but he didn’t try to move away from him either.

“And now they seem to think that you are blackmailing me…” Remus finished, having gone back to placing his head on his knees and staring at the ground between his legs. “And today, I saw the way they were acting towards you and… I know that you are a person, it’s not that… but I… I don’t know, it’s suddenly as if I realized that you are a person too. Of… of course you are hurting by them treating you like that… I can’t justify it, I… I don’t know.” He finished with a somewhat weak, uncertain shrug.

Snape was silent, the scents that came off him were rather contradictory, Remus couldn’t make out what he was really feeling. Finally, the boy spoke. “Somehow, a lot of people doesn’t seem aware that I am a person too. I guess I am used to it.” He seemed to have shut down all his emotions, trying to be completely cold. As if that was all he could do to keep from getting very emotional over the subject.

“...Is, uh… Is Lily Evans your only real friend?” Remus felt as if he was treading on very dangerous ground, but it felt as if he needed to ask, or risk stepping on something even more frail at a later time.

Snape glanced at him, but the werewolf couldn’t see his expression. The scents were still too heavy for him to make sense of. “I don’t know. I… want to be, but, I am not sure.” The Slytherin sighed and moved his head back against the log, staring up at the blue, slightly clouded sky. “Your Potter certainly isn’t making it any easier, with his… tormenting her. One day, I might actually make him stop once and for all...”

Remus did not like the scent that came from the black haired boy as he said that, so, the only action he could think to take was to simply fall over against the other teenager, placing his head on Snape’s shoulder as he did so. Snape almost fell over with surprise, but the horrible scent stopped.

“What are you doing?” Exclaimed the Slytherin.

“I am comforting you.”

“Is that so? Then what are you doing on my bloody shoulder?” He clicked his tongue with irritation, but he didn’t try to move the werewolf off.

“It...feels good. Maybe I just… wanted to have someone to lean against too.” Remus mumbled.

Snape’s tongue clicked again, but he let the Gryffindor stay where he was. After a while, he did speak up, but it didn’t sound like he had been thinking too hard on it. “This isn’t so bad. Don’t think that means I trust you, but… I suppose you are rather harmless. At least like...this.”

“I suppose you are harmless, too.” Remus closed his eyes, taking a deeper breath, as he actually began to relax against the other teenager’s shoulder. Snape scoffed at the comment, causing the werewolf to chuckle. “It’s… nice to have someone to talk to.”

“I don’t think simply telling me things count. I believe I have to give you advice or something too.” Snape commented, in a dry voice.

“Well, what is your advice then?”

“I don’t have any advice for you.”

“I guess we need to practice that one.” Remus chuckled and pulled himself back from the other teenager. “I… will see you later.” He waved before he ducked under the branches and crawled out of the grotto.

Chapter Text

“So you are saying there is no blackmailing going on whatsoever?” James asked, looking at Remus’ face, without fear of meeting his eyes.

“No, none whatsoever. I simply spoke to him a little. He had… questions about being, well… like me.” The werewolf lowered his voice as he spoke about himself, then looked down, nervously shifting to his other foot. “I… am sorry for losing my temper back then… Sirius really stressed me out.”

The teenager with the glasses sighed and nodded. “Yes he did. He is sorry, he’s just not good with words. I can’t believe that you’d have any reason to want to talk to Old Hooknose in the first place… He’s just so… so…” James sighed. “He is just one of those guys. You know. The ones that smell bad and just is unpleasant all together?”

“He really doesn’t smell bad.” Remus corrected the other.

“So you don’t want us to beat him up for you?” Hopefulness sneaked into his voice, Remus responded by shaking his head. “Not at all?” James continued.

“No. It’s fine, really.”

“Alright. Alright.” The teenager raised his hands in defeat. “But I can’t help it if he starts it.” Remus couldn’t help but to think that he very much doubted Snape to start anything akin to what the other boys imagined, they clearly didn’t know or understand the slytherin student at all. He really didn’t understand what made the other three believe the boy to be all that.

“Will you talk to Sirius for me? He clearly doesn’t listen to anyone but you in, well, anything.” Remus shifted again, his canine instincts told him that James was the alpha of their group, and as the alpha, he was the only one who could argue with anyone in their little ‘flock,’ and come out on top.

James groaned. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it. Stubborn asshole…” He muttered, speaking about his best friend. “Will you talk to Wormtail yourself? I’m not your messenger after all, no offence. I’ll still deal with Sirius.”

“Thank you, Prongs.” Remus smiled at him, it felt as if his chest was already a lot less heavy than it had during the day.

“I’m going to be late for practice, so see you later.” James waved his hand as he jogged off towards the Quidditch arena, leaving Remus to go talk to Peter on his own.

---

The rat animagus and the werewolf talked as they sat on the benches, not paying too much attention to the practice. Peter wasn’t that hard to convince, and it was a little flattering to hear the other explain how worried he had been, especially since Remus had left in a hurry. The lunch passed without them talking, and Remus only had the time to talk through things with the others after all the classes for the day were done. Quidditch practice had brought them all together after school, allowing the werewolf to solve the problem. It felt absolutely silly, that Remus had been so nervous and scared of losing his friends, when they were simply worried for his well being. They had overreacted, especially Sirius, but they had acted out of compassion towards Remus. It didn’t make their actions alright, all of them seemed aware of this, Remus only hoped that Sirius would be too.

“Can we hug then? If everything is alright?” Peter asked, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

“You...want a hug?” Remus didn’t dislike the idea, but the question caught him off guard.

“Is that… bad? I mean, friends can hug too, right? I, I really am not trying to do anything dirty!” Peter sprawled off into a small panicked ramble.

“Oh, it’s okay. I didn’t know you were a hugger, that’s all.” Remus gave him a small smile and held open his arms. Peter happily moved into them, hugging the werewolf.

“Who doesn’t like hugs? Like… nobody doesn’t really like hugs…” Peter mumbled. It was somewhat strange for Remus to realize that, despite it not feeling bad to hug Peter, it had actually felt better to be close to Snape. It was as if Snape’s… mind was calmer, less… loud. He didn’t exactly dislike Peter, but it was clear that the boy had a great deal of anxieties. Anxieties that made a canine feel rather… uncomfortable.

---

Sirius apologized the next day, having a little hard to admit that he had made a mistake. Unlike the other two, Sirius did not admit to making a mistake, but he did apologize for making Remus that uncomfortable.

All seemed well as they headed towards class that day. Their first class was one with students from all other houses. During the class, Remus noticed the feeling of eyes watching him, but when he looked around, no one was really looking his way. Only after class did Snape approach him. The boy glanced at the Marauders, but focused his attention on the werewolf. Snape moved in a little closer, to avoid having everybody present listening in.

“I hate to approach you like this.” Snape began. “But, it seems I need your help.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you are a Prefect, it’s part of your job to help students, is it not?” Snape continued, crossing his arms over his chest, his brows furrowed with contained disapproval.

“That is true, what can I do for you, then?”

“Meet me outside the diner hall after dinner. I will be waiting.” He turned on his heel and strode away, leaving the Marauders to look after him.

“What did he want?” Peter was the first one to ask, managing rather well to only sound confused, rather than worried.

“He wanted to meet for… something. I’ll go see what he wants after dinner.”

“It could be a trap.” Sirius grunted. When the others looked at him with hints of disbelief, he continued. “Look, it’s not pretty, but a bunch of Slytherin students are turning into Death Eaters, and they are attacking lone students. Like, the lone students whom they think are less than them because of their blood. It’s really shitty, but the teachers don’t know who exactly does it, so they can’t stop it.” Remus remembered Snape calling him a halfblood with disdain in his voice. Maybe there was some truth in it…

“If something does happen, I will go to the teachers. I don’t think Snape is the type of person to hurt someone with magic, I just… think he would have done it earlier, if that was the case.” Remus decided, very carefully avoiding to look at James.

Peter nodded in agreement, despite him clearly not being completely certain of the werewolf’s claim about Snape. “Maybe…? I guess. Just be careful, in case those Death Eaters really are after people.” The rat animagus said.

Chapter Text

Remus finished his food and got up from the table, giving the others a wave. “I will see you guys later.” The Marauders looked uncertain, in various degrees of worried, but none tried to stop him, and none had brought up the topic of Snape during the day.

Suddenly, Sirius opened his mouth, speaking before he had the chance to stop himself. “If he tries something, punch him. That magic elitist will never see it coming.” After he had said the words, he looked like an ashamed dog, avoiding to look at any of the other boys.

“Thanks, I… will keep that in mind.” Remus smiled, somewhat strained, but he still smiled as he walked away from the others and towards the entrance doors.

He had no trouble finding Snape, the other boy was sitting in full view, something that was very unusual for him, reading a book. Remus approached him, but before he even got close, Snape had noticed him and had stood up, walking to meet him. Before the werewolf could say something, Snape had walked past him, nodding discretely for him to follow. Remus didn’t enjoy how the meeting began, but he still continued after the Slytherin.

----

Snape lead him to an empty study room, one where they could seemingly speak without being bothered. On the walls, two torches lit up for them, as the Slytherin closed the door behind them. It was a small room, meant for four to five students, with a round table in the middle of it, four chairs surrounded said table. Snape placed the book on the table, placed his bag down and sat, gesturing for the werewolf to do the same. Remus shifted nervously but then took a seat opposite of the Slytherin.

“...So, uh… What did you want to talk about.” He wanted to break the uncomfortable atmosphere that was hanging between them, as Snape looked him over from underneath his bangs.

The Slytherin placed his hands on the table, in a gesture that would have made him look somewhat in control, had it not been for the fact that the werewolf could smell the other boy’s discomfort. “As you know, all students in sixth year are expected to write an essay on a topic related to magic studies, I have chosen to write an essay related to potions.” Remus nodded, he wasn’t surprised that the talented potion maker had chosen that as his task. He was about to speak, but Snape silenced him with a glare. “In seventh year, I have every intention of putting the things I have learnt from making my essay into practice, and work towards making the potion I will be writing about. But for this, I will need your help.”

Remus leaned back in the chair, hugging himself as he looked upon the Slytherin with slight suspicion in his eyes. “What, exactly, are you planning on writing about.”

Snape hesitated for just a heartbeat, “I want to create a potion that will work against a werewolf’s transformation. My previous research has shown me that there is no real cure, but I have been considering if I might be able to… calm the effects. What I am trying to say, is that you are still a person inside a beast’s body; even if your body might have transformed, there should be a way to make the human mind resurface.”

“That… sounds completely impossible…” He muttered, shaking his head at the boy in front of him.

“It’s not impossible, simply hard.” Retorted the boy with the greasy hair.

“How can you be so sure?” The werewolf accidentally growled, as he began to lose his temper slightly.

“I am not, but if everybody else claim it’s too hard, isn’t that just because they lack the skill to actually accomplish the task?” Snape sounded almost as if he had waited to say that line the entire day, and was now feeling the impact of it, as he looked at the werewolf’s face.

Remus shifted and grunted, starting to calm down again. “This isn’t… some sort of… cruel trap? I am… not so sure I trust you.”

“Then don’t.” Snape shrugged, even if he smelled slightly disapproving. “But ask yourself this: what if I can make it work? You must realize how much that would improve the lives of every person suffering from the Lycanthropy disease.”

The realization was clear on his face, Remus could tell from simply looking at the boy’s expression that the werewolf had showed much more than he thought he had. Said werewolf bit his lower lip, before he opened his lips again. “I see. If… I do this, it could help others like me. Then I don’t really have a choice.”

“You could refuse.” Snape reminded him, scoffing slightly at the idea that he was forcing the boy into doing something he wouldn’t want. “I don’t want your friends coming to me, claiming that I forced you into helping me with this. Besides, the results you give me might not be truthful, if I forced you, so it wouldn’t be worth it.”

Remus nodded, slowly. “I… suppose you are right. No I… will help you. But you will have to pretend you got the information from another werewolf, I… don’t want to be mentioned by name.”

“Of course not.” Snape scoffed again, as if Remus had said something incredibly obvious and unintelligent, a bit alike when Sirius scoffed at Peter, as he reached for his bag. Soon, he was holding a quill, having placed a parchment before him, upon looking at the parchment, the werewolf noticed that there were already things written on it. “I have a few questions surrounding your transformation, first: do you actually need to see the moon to transform. Would it be possible to simply hide you away from the moonlight and have you not change?”

“No, it doesn’t work.” Remus responded. “My family tried that, with my consent, of course. I was locked up in the cellar, with all the windows covered. I asked for a clock to keep time. For the longest time, I felt like it might actually work, but then the moon continued to rise. Around half past ten, I felt the...pain, and when I woke up, everything around me had been...broken. Like, usual.” It was slightly bothering to the werewolf that the boy was writing as he spoke, but he understood why the other was doing so. The soft scratching of the pen was simply a little distracting.

Snape finished writing. “What is it like transforming?” Remus could feel the nervous scent coming from the boy as he asked the question.

“It… hurts.” The werewolf began, quickly trailing off as he shuddered to recall the memory of the pain he had to endure once every month. “It… feels like, every bone in my body is on fire. My skin hurts, being stretched and pulled at as the limbs grow. The… last things I can recall seem to be this… overwhelming rage and anger. It is… there is this… hunger, for destruction. Then it turns dark. Sometimes, extremely rarely, I have dreams where I can see part of what in did in… that shape. It’s, as I said, very rare, so it doesn’t seem like it will help you.”

The Slytherin nodded, the quill continued to dance over the paper, Remus noted that the other had quite messy handwriting. “I’ve heard you growling, and you have been talking about impulses being hard to control, can you tell me more about them?”

Remus grunted, once more shifting uncomfortably, as well as avoided the boy’s eyes. “I… really don’t like that part of myself.” He slowly confessed, sighing afterwards. “It… like you said, it makes me feel like a dog… Like an animal. After a full moon, I feel like most other people. Then, the closer to a full moon we get, the harder it is to… control. Urges, impulses, everything becomes so… overwhelming. Scents get stronger too, it… mostly feels like a mess.”

“I need you to confirm what those urges and desires are supposed to be.”

The werewolf groaned and began chewing on his upper lip. “I… fine, the impulses make me want to… growl when I am annoyed, to be close to the people I like, I...uh… sometimes I… want them to pet me… or scratch me…” He was steadily turning red in the face, and his eyes were avoiding the other boy’s. “I think it’s hard to concentrate, noises seem to be… stronger, the stronger it gets to that time of the month, the less I am capable of  focusing. It’s fair to say that my senses are sharper, and it’s...distracting.”

“And for the urges?”

Remus grunted again, shaking his head as he tried to shake away the feeling of discomfort. “It’s… ugh… It’s very hard to control sexual urges. If a student passes me in the corridors, who is attracted to someone else, I will smell it. It’s…” He laughed, as if in defeat. “It is very hard to be around Sirius the closer it gets to a full moon.”

The boy opposite of him had never scrunched his nose as much as he scrunched it after hearing the werewolf talk about his fellow Marauder in that manner. Remus realized a little too late that it might not have been the most… well thought through thing to say, but there was little he could do to take it back. Snape continued to write, suddenly very focused on his parchment. Remus licked his lips, avoiding to look at the other teenager still. It seemed that the Slytherin very much disliked thinking about Sirius Black in any sexual way, even if said sexual way really had nothing to do with him.

Snape put the pen down. “There will be a full moon in a week.” He stated, as he pulled his wand out from his sleeve. Remus noted where it was, and it made him realize that Snape often gripped his wand when he was around the Marauders, but he had never seen him draw it before. The greasy haired boy waved the wand over the parchment, casting a simple spell to make the ink dry instantly, and then began to roll it together. “I want to speak to you every day until that full moon, and I will need you to tell me everything about the changes, emotions, and so on, which you experience. I need to know as much as I can if I am supposed to succeed in this task.”

“I leave one day before the full moon, actually.” Remus confessed, surprising himself with how he managed to make it sound so… simple. Like he just had to travel away for a bit, instead of getting locked up in a small shack by the edge of a poor, unsuspecting village.

Snape stopped for just a second, then continued as if he had not made a pause whatsoever. “To the shack then.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Remus nodded in response as Snape closed his bag and stood up. “I see. Meet me here tomorrow, at around the same time.” Before Remus could say anything in response, the Slytherin was already out the door.

Chapter Text

The days seemed to pass rather fast, as they always tended to do when the full moon was approaching. Remus was experiencing everything stronger, with all his sensations. He could feel the scent of sex coming from Sirius’ hair, he could feel the adrenaline that kept James going, as if it was pumping through his own veins, and he could hear Peter nervously chew on the inside of his own cheek. He spoke to Snape after dinner, sometimes answering the same questions, and sometimes getting new ones.

At first, the Slytherin was keeping everything completely professional, they didn’t speak too much about other things, but Remus began to slowly draw conversation out of him. They spoke about small things, tests, lessons, sometimes even the weather, when Remus got desperate for the other boy to answer.

The werewolf learnt that Snape was a very good teacher, despite being strict and maybe a tad too nervous, which lead to his student, Remus, feeling stupid for asking. When he did point out to the boy that he might benefit from not trying to make the person he was talking to feel like an idiot for asking a question, Snape scoffed and changed the subject. He also learnt that Snape did tend to hug his wand a lot, that was to say, hiding that he was holding it by keeping it hidden in his sleeve. It was a gesture that made Remus wonder if he always felt on edge, if it was simply because he was alone in a room with him. The Gryffindor didn’t mind, and he didn’t want to dwell on the obvious reason which made the Slytherin feel so uncomfortable around him. Lastly, he was beginning to notice that the boy’s hair might not be as greasy as it was always claimed to be. It was hard to tell, but it tended to smell clean, and Snape didn’t have enough pimples to be careless with his hygiene. The werewolf wasn’t sure, but he had a very strong hunch that Snape might actually, physically slap him if he tried to touch his hair. It wasn’t the only reason he didn’t try to touch it, but it was one of the bigger reasons.

The moon was growing big on the sky, and Remus had to leave. He sneaked to the whomping willow tree, and crawled into the tunnel that lead to the shack. He pushed the panel to the side and entered the house, replacing the panel right away, and looked around. He could see the marks on the walls, which he had left, and the broken furniture which no one bothered to clean up. The shack was dusty, but Remus had taken it upon himself to try and clean it up every month, seeing as there was always a day where he was stuck in the place, all alone. A house elf would bring him dinner for the night, and then appear again with breakfast and lunch the next day.

Before he began his cleaning, he took the monthly walk to inspect what he had broken the last time. He was troubled to find that he had broken the piano in his last rampage, as he had apparently gotten into the bedroom, and broken said piano, and torn down some of the curtains. He spotted a few new claw marks on the walls, and noticed a few bloodstains. He had always tried to keep the door to the bedroom locked, but judging from the state of the door, the werewolf had barged right through it. Like a crazed bull... Remus left the room alone and headed downstairs again, looking for the cleaning supplies in one of the closets, he couldn’t do everything with magic, that would go too fast to keep his mind occupied for the day.

He entered the living room, looking around. He still winched at the sight of the couch, which seemed to only get more and more wolf-handled with every month. Remus had tried to repair the item a few times, but the werewolf seemed to absolutely loathe the thing, and was dead set on purging the couch’s existence from the surface of the Earth. It was a strange feeling, cleaning up after one’s beast self’s rampages. Remus pulled his wand out and got to work repairing the furniture, leaving the couch alone, hoping it would soothe the beast a bit if the damage wasn’t undone.

After being given his meal, he curled up in an armchair with a book, under a hot blanket. It was raining outside, and he pretended that he was on a vacation, enjoying a good book on his own, taking a break from all the world. It never really worked, but he never really stopped trying.

Remus hated the night before it was as if he could feel the beast under his skin, pulling on every one of his senses. Even the Marauders had a hard time being around him when the moon rose on the night before the transformation, as his mind was easily irritated, he was prone to anger and to growl at his friends, and more than anything, he was so disgustingly sexually frustrated that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Teenage hormones, in combination with the werewolf’s impulses, made for a dreadful result. None of his friends blamed him for the lack of control, but Remus knew that they were all uncomfortable with the desperate sexual need, which forced the werewolf to borderline rub himself up against them. It had only happened once, but it had been enough to make Remus never want to be close to anyone the night before the transformation.

The boy tried to read the book in his hands, but every word seemed more and more alien to his mind, finally, he growled and threw the book over the room in a fit of anger. As he sat panting, he realized what he had done, and got up slowly. He walked over to the book and knelt down, as he looked upon the book, he got the impulse to rip it apart. Before he managed to make up his mind, a noise caught his attention. Like an animal, he raised his head and sniffed in the air. Another noise, this time, he could hear the scraping sound that came from removing the panel to the hidden path.

Remus turned towards the corridor, hurrying out to see Severus Snape climbing out of the hidden tunnel. The werewolf stopped, staring at the boy as if he had grown a second head. Snape pulled the panel back in place and stood up, turning towards him. He frowned as he was the Gryffindor. “You look horrible,” he stated, somehow managing to not make it sound like an insult.

“What in the world are you doing here?” Remus growled out, taking a few steps forward. “It’s dangerous! You of all people should know that.” He continued speaking, stopping his approach as he realized that he must look threatening when he approached like that. The scent that came from the other was so strong, everything about the boy in front of him was so inviting. From the weak scents of cleaning products, to the scents that came with the potion ingredients which Snape had undoubtedly been around. Remus could feel his mouth watering, and his body was getting hotter from just having the other around. The werewolf lift his hand over his mouth, trying to supress the scents that came from Snape, the ones that made the werewolf hunger.

Snape looked over at him, calmly. Remus was very surprised when he found that the other didn’t actually smell frightened. The boy was clearly somewhat uncomfortable, but he wasn’t smelling of fear. “It’s not dangerous. You will transform tomorrow. Right now, you are simply being overwhelmed by it, right?”

Remus nodded, still looking uncomfortable. “Yes, but… I told you, I can’t… I can barely hold back the impulses.”

“I thought I heard you throw something, it sounded as if you were angry.” Snape was looking around, taking in the view of the shack, he spotted the blood which Remus hadn’t managed to clean up.

“I...yes.” He slowly admitted.

“What were you mad at?”

“Is this part of the research…?”

“Yes. I’m not asking to make you uncomfortable.” Snape was being surprisingly kind, it seemed as if he was aware of the fact that the werewolf was very easily agitated.

“I… Threw a book. I just… couldn’t understand the words and it made me… frustrated.”

Snape gave him a look that tried very hard to be apathetic. He almost managed. “I came to bring you this.” He turned to open his bag and began digging around it in, until he found what he had been searching for. The Slytherin stepped forward and tried to hand Remus a small vile, with a teal-colored liquid inside. The scent was… so strong, the werewolf backed away, shaking his head.

“It’s… safer if you stay further away… I don’t want to break...anything.” He stopped himself from saying ‘you.’

Snape halted, slowly looking him over. “It’s a sleeping potion. It should be enough to knock even a werewolf out for the entirety of the night, if you take it around six or seven the same night.” The dark haired boy closed his hand around the vile, pulling his arm back to keep it safe. “Is there anywhere I can place it where you won’t break it in… a fit of anger?” He asked.

“I… I don’t feel like anything is safe with me, when I’m alone during the night.” Remus admitted, moving his arms around himself, slowly rubbing them while staring at the wall in front of him.

The other teenager observed him through the curtains of his hair, before he slowly nodded. “Then I am staying with you for the night.”

Remus raised his head, reacting as if he had been slapped. “You are...doing what?”

Chapter Text

“I am staying for the night.” Snape headed into the living room, and spotted the couch lying broken on the floor. Without asking about it, he pulled his wand out and repaired it, only to sit down. Remus would have told him how much the werewolf disliked the couch, but he was a little too busy trying to understand what was happening in front of his eyes.

“No, Snape, you don’t understand… I… I’ve told you that the urges are maddening to me the night before… You look… so attractive to me right now. Everything about you right now… I don’t know how I can resist.”

The mask which the Slytherin was trying so very hard to keep up, cracked ever so slightly, as the boy realized just how hard it was for the werewolf to hold back his desires. The silence hung heavy over them, as Remus tried to swallow back the soft pants that left his lips, with a mostly negative result.

“Alright.” Snape suddenly spoke up, with much more certainty than any of them seemed to have expected. “I… don’t think I mind. As long as it stays between us.” He quickly added.

Remus couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He blinked slowly, entering the room like a nervous dog would, with his head slightly lowered and his arms closer to his body. “I… really can’t believe I heard that right.” He sat down on the couch, staring intensely at the boy in front of him. Snape glanced over at him, through the curtains of his probably-not-greasy hair. Remus swallowed, licking as lips as he sank back from the other’s eyes, feeling ashamed over his desires and over himself.

“...I find it hard to believe it as well, but since I am to stay the night with you, I don’t want to have to deal with a horny dog slobbering over me.” Snape avoided to look at him when he spoke.

“That is… fair enough,” Remus began “but I would hate myself beyond reason if you felt forced to have… sex with me. I don’t want you to do it if you don’t want to.” He found that he had moved just a tad closer to the other teenager, still making sure that his head was below the other, in terms of height, so that he was looking up at Snape.

Snape stared forward, even if he was aware of the approaching, very excited werewolf. “It would be consensual, if that is what you are worried about.”

“Then you are sure? You’re not going to-” there werewolf felt his fingers brush against the other’s leg, he had reached him now. It took as his willpower to continue to speak in a remotely calm voice.

The Slytherin’s breath hitched slightly, Remus could smell that he was getting excited as well, despite the other doing a much better job when it came to keeping control over himself. Slowly, he turned to look at the werewolf, surprising him with the hint of hurt in his eyes. “If you think that I don’t know what I want, or need you to lecture me about… this.” He stopped and then began again, his voice much more firm now. “You’re being patronizing. I said yes, didn’t I?”

That was all the approval Remus needed, he wasn’t very experienced with sex, but the fire in his pants didn’t leave him enough integrity to worry about it. He was up on top of the Slytherin with a speed that didn’t seem human, acting absolutely starved as he attacked the boy underneath him with kisses. Snape made a surprised noise, but true to his own words, he didn’t move away or reject him. Instead, he clumsily put his hands on the werewolf’s hips, it happened as if by instinct. Neither of them could be called a good kisser, but the werewolf was excited enough to make up for at least a bit of it. Remus wasn’t sure for how long they kissed, but when he pulled back, both of them were slightly out of breath.

“You’re… heavy…” Huffed Snape, reminding Remus that he was tall, thus weighing more than his build would otherwise.

“Sorry.” Remus couldn’t help but chuckle, to fend of the nerves, as he moved off the other. “Would you like to sit on my lap instead?” In a situation like the currently unfolding one, he couldn’t help but find himself amused, but more than anything, he was so relieved to finally, finally get an outlet for the desires which poisoned his mind when the full moon was about to rise.

The Slytherin groaned. “I didn’t know we were close enough for little remarks.” Yet he did come closer, and crawled on top of the werewolf, who couldn’t keep his hands away any longer than that.

Snape soon found himself grabbed by strong hands, probably acting stronger than usually because of the adrenaline rush, hands which didn’t hesitate to pull his cloak off him, allowing the somewhat cold fingers to press against the warm skin of the Slytherin’s lower back. Snape gasped subtly, biting down on his own lower lip as the fingers began traveling over his skin. From what Remus could smell, his partner was enjoying the touches, even if they were unfamiliar to the boy. Weak, soft breaths left the Slytherin as the werewolf’s fingers began exploring his back, trailing along the spine, circling the lower part of the back, and up towards the shoulders. “I think it makes it easier.” Remus commentend as Snape leaned in a little, resting his head on top of the werewolf’s.

“...Fine. Do what you… want.” He mumbled, clearly enjoying the touches over his back. Remus didn’t know why Snape trusted him so much, but it was as if the boy had dropped all his normal defenses, just allowing himself to actually feel good, and allow himself to not be on edge. Remus didn’t feel as if they had a special bond, and he didn’t think that any of the two of them were actually anywhere close to ‘being in love’ with the other, but they did share a mutual trust in that the other didn’t want to hurt them. Snape was actually helping him, he was fully aware of the fact that he was a werewolf, and he was helping him. Remus was not in any way stupid enough to hurt somebody who was working so hard to help him, and Snape knew that. It was a somewhat fragile agreement, a non verbal one, but it was the only thing Remus truly dared believing in.

Remus noticed that Snape moved his head to the side, he heard the boy sigh subtly and it made him stretch his neck, about to bite down on the boy’s neck, wanting to leave a mark. The werewolf realized halfway there, and he pulled back with great haste. Snape, with eyes sharp as an eagle, noticed what had happened. “Why did you… stop? What’s wrong?” He demanded to know.

“Sorry, I… Wanted to bite you. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Remus avoided the other’s eyes, shrinking together somewhat.

“...People do that during sex. You act as if something is wrong.” Snape looked him over, one eyebrow raised as he demanded a better answer.

“I can’t believe I…” Remus stopped himself when he felt the disapproval ooze from Snape, the boy was clearly not appreciating the roundabout which Remus had tried to take. “...I’m a werewolf. If I bite you, you will turn into one too.”

“Yes, if you bite somebody during a full moon, that will happen.” Snape confirmed, dryly.

“Yes, but… Maybe I can make people transform if I bite them when I’m like this too?” The werewolf was still avoiding to look at the other boy.

“...Then don’t break the skin, if you are so worried about it.” Snape settled the discussion, as he reached out and grabbed the other’s face, pulling him back. There was a short silence, where Snape just looked at him, Remus, in true dog-like manner, avoided to meet the other’s eyes. “...Just touch me. You shouldn’t worry about turning me into a werewolf. You can only do that one day of the month, and that day is not today.”

Remus glanced around, before moving in to place a light kiss onto the other’s neck. In doing so, he finally got to touch Snape’s hair, and realized that it wasn’t greasy at all. That felt like something he should have realized sooner, and he made a mental note to remember to make it known to his friends. Later. Now, he was a little busy with the boy in his lap.

It was very exciting for the werewolf to simply touch Snape, to explore and feel another human body than his own. The teenager’s skin wasn’t completely soft, there were some drier parts and some softer parts, he found a few bigger beauty marks, which he promptly left alone as to not rip one open by accident. Snape’s body encouraged the touches, some places would make him sigh, others made him relax, some made him shudder, while one drew a sharp breath. Remus got bolder with the encouragement, and he began to carefully pull on the boy’s shirt to get it off completely. Snape allowed it, even if he clearly felt embarrassed about being naked. The werewolf noticed that the other was very average in build, he wasn’t thin and he wasn’t fat, he had a few beauty marks on the front of his body as well, but no scars and no bruises. He turned his attention towards the other’s nipples, which were somewhat small. He licked his lips, glanced at Snape, and moved in to lick the little nub. The mere touch of his tongue made the boy in his lap shudder and twist. Remus continued, allowing his tongue to explore the skin around the nipple, circling the nub before flicking it with his tongue. The body under his tongue responded to every little movement of said tongue, something that made the boy feel very proud over himself. Suddenly, he was grabbed, he found that Snape had grabbed his hair, pulling him in a little closer into the Slytherin’s chest. The gesture made the werewolf halt before he smiled, nuzzling himself into the other’s embrace, holding the other close. Snape halted to, only to give a low sigh and hug him back, stroking over his head.

“Is… there a bed?” Snape panted out, clearly affected by the werewolf’s touches. “This couch is…prickly.” He made a very valiant attempt at talking.

Chapter Text

Remus was on top of Snape almost before the other had managed to sit down upon the bed, which was practically the only non dusty thing in the entire house. His lips connected to the other’s, whatever barrier of fear had been between them had been completely removed by both of them admitting to want sexual contact with the other, or at least so Remus thought. Snape made a surprised noise, as he did his best to keep up with the kiss. 

The werewolf broke away first and looked down upon the Slytherin below him. He reached out to brush the hair out of the other’s face, a strong urge had washed over him, making him want to see all of the other teenager. Snape blinked up at him. He had dark eyes, which almost looked black in the light, a hawk like nose, and very pleasantly thin lips, all together on a slightly oval shaped face. Snape wasn’t a stunning beauty, but he looked like the most beautiful person in the world to the horny werewolf. Snape’s black eyes blinked up at him, before he avoided the other’s eyes. 

“You...mn, nevermind…” He stopped talking, but it had been enough to make the werewolf wake up from his admirative daydreaming. 

Remus turned his attention to that despicably annoying pair of pants, which were blocking his way to the rest of the teen’s body. That needed to be solved as soon as possible, thus, he began with removing the buckle on top of them. Snape made a noise, but he took it upon himself to muffle it with his hand, allowing Remus to continue. The pants, belt and underwear were soon laying discarded on the ground, giving the werewolf the full, unhindered view of his partner. If there was anything worthy of noting from the way the boy looked, it was that he was very pale. As if sunlight just bounced off him, refusing to stick to the skin of the other. 

There was no need to be shy, Remus had wanted to have sexual contact with someone for longer than he wanted to admit, even if he was nervous, he just wouldn’t let become a hindrance. He reached out and took a careful grip around the other’s semi erect member, even when it was only semi erect, it was very clear that Snape was smaller than him. The skin was hot under his hand, as he began to move his hand slowly but firmly, watching Snape’s face to know if he was being too rough or too weak. Snape had retreated behind his arm, his chest raising and falling in a quick pace. It seemed as if he was enjoying it, judging from the view and the noises that left his lips. 

After enjoying the view, and delighting in the noises that filled the room, Remus found his curiosity turning stronger. It wasn’t enough to just touch, he wanted to taste as well. He shifted on the bed, moving his hands to the other’s thighs, and leaned over the member. Snape drew a very sharp breath as Remus’ lips captured the head of the his member, and started to suck. It wasn’t exactly easy to do, or rather, the theory of sucking somebody off was easy, but the action was a little harder. It became a little harder with the boy squirming in delight over the attention he was being given. Remus could feel the taste of the other’s member in his mouth, what he assumed to be the precum was a little salty, but other than that, the taste was not as overwhelming as he had assumed it would be. Curiosity pushed him to check how much he could actually take of the other boy’s member. He tried to relax his jaw and pushed his face down. He managed to take it quite a lot, before he realized that he was choking himself and had to pull back, coughing from the action brought about by his hybris. 

Snape looked up at him, most likely about to ask if he was okay, but the two locked eyes, and both began to chuckle. Snape rolled his eyes and sank back on the bed with his arm over his eyes, shaking his head. “Be careful… Goodness…” He groaned, although it sounded more like mock-annoyance.

“Alright, alright.” Remus chuckled, as he leaned in and buffed the other’s knee with his nose. “I’ll cast the spell to make lubrication, you should remain right there.” He jumped off the bed, walked over to a glass filled with water. It was a simple transfiguration spell, he had seen Sirius use it so many times that he knew it by heart by now. Sirius tended to have a slightly better container than a glass, but Remus didn’t have the luxury to be picky there and then. He pulled a chair over to the bed to work as a night stand, as he wasn’t enough of an optimist to think that the glass would remain standing in the bed. 

Snape looked over to the other boy, realized what was about to come, and took a slow, deep breath. Before he could speak up, the werewolf had already responded to the question that was lingering in the air around the Slytherin. “I will be careful, and you should tell me if it hurts.” Snape muttered something inaudible in reply, going back to hiding behind his arm. 

Remus concentrated on the task he was about to perform. He hesitated, and then tapped the Slytherin’s leg to get his attention. He thought of trying to prop the other up on pillows, but he then got another idea. He asked Snape to turn over and then pulled the boy onto his lap, with the other’s stomach resting against his legs. The position allowed some leverage, which would make it easier for the body in his lap to relax and take in his fingers. Snape realized that too, which was most likely why he accepted the position, while hiding in his hands, groaning to let out some of his embarrassment. The view from having the naked boy in his lap, looking down upon his skin, with all the flaws and all the perfections of a real human being, was… delightful. Remus was not sure how he managed to remain in control of his own desires, but he somehow managed. 

The werewolf coated his fingers with lube, and slowly began circling the other’s anus with one finger. Snape jumped at the touch, but then relaxed again. Slowly, Remus allowed his finger to sink inside the other, drawing a sharp breath from his lips. The act of spreading someone wasn’t too complicated, and so, the werewolf continued with his task. He had been a little worried that it might be boring to do such a thing, when his penis ached to be inside the other, but he found to his delight that he adored the noises and scents that came from the boy underneath him. Snape’s reactions made it all worth it. 

Remus quickly dried off his hand, with yet another simple spell, and began coating his member with the lube, then applied more around Snape’s opening. They had briefly discussed what position they wanted, and they had ended up agreeing on the one that would put the least strain on Snape’s body. Thus, the boy was now standing on all fours, with a few pillows supporting him under his stomach. Remus placed his hand on the Slytherin’s butt, taking the time to gently stroke over it. The boy’s butt was soft, and almost completely hairless. Remus felt rather self conscious about his own, much more hairy body, even if he didn’t have that much of it himself. He moved forward, clumsily allowing his member to probe the other’s opening. It was harder than expected to actually enter the Slytherin than any of them seemed to have counted for, but when they did find the right angle, and the head sank inside Snape, both of them moaned loudly, and forgot what they were and what they were doing, completely taken over by the delightful feeling that washed over them. 

Remus soon came back to awareness, and began to move. The feeling was beyond words to him, but Snape cried out with discomfort, causing him to halt right away. The Slytherin mumbled into the covers, but the werewolf’s ear picked up the words: he was being asked to wait, as his body adjusted to the feeling. So he did, his member throbbing with desire inside the tight, hot flesh of the other boy’s body. It was agonizing to remain still and not indulge, but he did, because he found Snape’s comfort even more important than his own. This might be the only time someone agreed to have sex with him, and Remus did not want the one experience to be that he hurt someone because he was too much a beast, and too little a person. Something in the back of his mind presistantly settled on the fact that he did not want to hurt Snape.

Finally, the boy who surrounded him mumbled that he was ready. Remus carefully grabbed the other’s waist, and carefully, slowly, began to move. The feeling was once again indescribable. He felt himself being squeezed as he slowly sank deeper, he felt the tension release slightly when he pulled back, and then it began all over again. He listened to the noises from the boy underneath him, felt the scents of arousal and pleasure mix together all around them. It was so tempting to lose control, to give in completely, but he continued with his slow pace until Snape, with a weak, shaky voice, asked him to move faster. He did, taking a firmer hold of the hips, and really began thrusting. Snape’s voice increased in volume, the tones played from his vocal chords, urging the werewolf to do better, to do more. The speed of the thrusts increased, as it became harder and harder to remain a person, Snape didn’t complain, he seemed to enjoy it. Remus allowed his torso to move forward, moving over him with his member deep inside the boy, and his hands on the side of him. The werewolf’s nose buffed against the other’s head, as he began to move more like a dog, with hard, shallow thrusts. Snape groaned out, hiding his head against his arms as he urged the Gryffindor on by small pleadings. Snape had begun touching himself, Remus would not have noticed if it had not been for the arm buffing against him when the Slytherin had moved. 

Snape hit his climax first, tightening up so delightfully that Remus couldn’t help but come soon after him. Unknown to the werewolf, it was very rare for people in Snape’s position to actually come on their own when they had sex, or first for the matter. As Remus sank deep inside the Slytherin, and released his seed, his instincts finally overtook him and he sank his teeth into the other’s shoulder, biting him, marking him, for himself. Snape let out a surprised gasp, tightened up further, but then reached up and pulled his fingers through Remus’ hair. “You’re big...Uh… Can you pull out?” 

The words recalled him to his mind, and Remus was off the other boy in a few seconds, looking back at the other with nervousness building in  his chest. Snape groaned and rolled off his pillow pile, moving his arms around his stomach. The hair was covering his face, and he smelled so overwhelmingly of sex that Remus couldn’t tell his state of mind. Once more, he cast a spell to clean himself up, and then, slowly, he pushed the pillows away, and laid down next to the other. He wanted to touch the boy, but it felt too intrusive. Snape noticed him after about a minute, as he had been having his eyes closed, taking the time to relax his body after the act. 

“...You… really do look like...a dog now…” The Slytherin was the first to speak. “Why… do you look so sad?” The last words carried with them the implication that Snape was nervous about not having been good enough. 

Remus was quick to shake his head. “I… I bit you… And that… In the end, didn’t I hurt you?” 

“...” Snape groaned, shaking his head. “You’re not about to turn me into a werewolf… I said that already.” 

“But I… didn’t it hurt?” The Gryffindor asked, nervously squirming on top of the blankets. 

“It didn’t hurt until the end… Everything up to that was...fine.” The scent of embarrassment washed over Remus, as Snape very much avoided his eyes. “It happens...when the body starts tightening up again, right? It’s nothing to be bothered about. Stupid mutt.” He muttered the last words under his breath. Perhaps there was truth to that, Remus didn’t have enough sexual experience to know for fact just how fragile the anus could be, in that sense.

The werewolf laughed, mostly out of relief, and moved closer, capturing the other boy in a hug, and pulled him tight to his chest. Snape protested to being moved, but Remus could feel how much he actually liked laying on top of his arm, close to him. The boy in his arms relaxed, as Remus carefully stroke over his back, tracing his spine up and down. “...Was it good?” He finally asked. 

“I already said it wasn’t hurting.” 

“But did it feel good ?” Remus insisted. 

“...Yes.” Snape buried his nose in the werewolf’s shoulder, the dark hair covered his face, hiding him from the world. It was...comfortable. Very comfortable. Remus shifted, and began pulling the covers over them, forgetting about the need for pillows. As he had finally managed to get them wrapped up, Snape raised his voice. “Did you feel good?” His voice was almost too low for the werewolf to hear. 

“Yes.” Remus stretched his neck, and kissed the boy on the head, nuzzling his nose into the non-greasy hair. “You felt amazing.” 

----

Snape had a lot of trouble walking the next day, or at least he had a hard time walking for the first hour. He offered to help clean up after the night, but Remus much rather wanted him to rest up so that he could attend school without too much trouble. The Slytherin reluctantly agreed. 

When they walked down to the first floor, breakfast for two was waiting for them. Snape turned so red that Remus worried he would faint front the high concentration of blood in his face. They ate together, Snape talked little, only mentioning a few facts with his sleeping potion. It was a nice, quiet breakfast, better than any Remus had had alone in the shack. After it, Snape said an awkward goodbye, and left. 

The rest of the day was lonely, but Remus kept his mind occupied by cleaning. He had to stop a few times to think of the memory of the night before, it had quickly become one of his favorite memories, and he relived it alone, inside his mind, at least three times during the day. 

Night was approaching, he wrote a letter to his friends, who would likely show up around eight or nine. It stated that he was trying out a sleeping potion to keep the werewolf from running off into the night. He placed the note down in the tunnel, where he knew they would find it, and after dinner, he took the potion, allowing himself to sink down into a deep sleep. Hopefully, it would actually work.

Chapter Text

“I don’t understand...why didn’t it work…?” Peter asked, as he sat cross legged on the carpet, looking up at his three friends. They had all gathered in the Room of Requirements, so that they could talk without having to worry about anyone hearing them. The room looked almost identical to the Gryffindor common room, but the armchairs were just a bit better, a little softer and less used. Remus had slumped together in his own, staring at his feet without feeling any desire to move. He had gotten his hopes up quite a lot, and to find that the sleeping draft had done more or less nothing, felt like a heavy blow. 

“It did work.” Sirius countered, he was laying with his legs over the end of the chair, staring up at the roof. “In a sense. The werewolf has a different mind, and a different body. When he changes, a lot of energy and adrenaline is pushed through his body, forcing on the transformation. Of course the sleeping draft wouldn’t be enough to keep something with intense levels of adrenaline running through it, sleeping.” 

“...Oh… I guess…?” Peter mumbled, clearly not understanding what the other was saying. 

“Sometimes, when a muggle has received a very bad allergic shock, or has taken something that shuts the body down, the hospitals will inject adrenaline into the body, to make it kickstart itself.” James spoke up. He was seated in the last armchair, resting his head on his knuckle, while keeping his eyes on Remus. “It did work in a sense, I don’t think you’ve ever been that calm.”

Peter’s face lit up. “Oh yeah, you fell on your snout! When you and Sirius were chasing each other, you tripped and just fell. We thought you might have hurt yourself, but you got up and sleepily stumbled about. It was so funny!” He chuckled, before he quieted himself, looking nervously at James and Sirius for confirmation that it had been funny. 

Sirius chuckled. “Yeah, that was great. Then you laid down and refused to move for at least an hour. That was less fun, but at least I almost managed to wrestle James down.” He turned his head back, leering at his friend with a big grin. 

James shook his head. “You weren’t even close…” He turned his attention towards Remus. “Don’t try again with something stronger than that, if it is enough to subdue the werewolf, it is enough to kill the human if you aren’t careful.” 

“...Yes, I… will, I mean, won’t…” Remus mumbled, hugging his legs. “...Sorry… If I worried you.” He sighed, and rolled over in the chair, turning his back to the other three. The Marauders began speaking of something else, rather loudly, all three of them pretending that they couldn’t hear the soft sobs that left the tall teenager’s lips. 

----

“So it didn’t work at all?” Snape asked. They were seated in the study room again, and the teenager had pulled out the parchment again, noting down what they were talking about. It was strange to see Snape with his clothes on again, after having seen him without them. It felt like they had crossed a line, one that they both have wanted to cross, but one that was impossible to pretend that they hadn’t crossed. Remus wanted very much to kiss him again, to allow their bodies to he close once more, hot and warm in the darkness of the shack. In that place, it felt like they hadn’t been from opposite houses, and supposed to be rivals, they had just been two people, longing for company. In here, back inside the walls of Hogwarts, they were a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, they were supposed to be enemies. Slytherins were clever, cunning, and brilliant, with an inclination towards the dark arts. Gryffindors were supposed to be brave, daring, with an abundant disregard for rules. If people saw them together, they would question both their sanities. 

While Hogwarts preached the friendly rivalry between the houses, the houses were in actuality a hindrance, something that stopped people from interacting, and cutting the various students from the houses off from one another. It was so much easier to find a person alien and strange, if one was told from the very beginning that they had little in common. It was so much easier to see those clear boundaries when one was having feelings for someone in another house. Remus thought of the Slytherin prefect and the Hufflepuff prefect, and how the two of them would socially assassinate themselves if they actually began dating. How the fact that they were individuals who got along and was attracted to one another didn’t matter within the school grounds. Not that he wanted to… date Snape. No! He just… wanted to be friends with him. Probably. 

“...Lupin? I am speaking with you. I believed you said your attention span only suffered the closer to the full moon.” Snape raised an eyebrow at the other, as he called him back to awareness. 

“...No.” The werewolf’s voice was thick when he responded, as he tried to keep his emotions back. “I feel so stupid… To actually think it would work and then… I still woke up in the woods.” He bit his lower lip after he had finished speaking, trying to bite back the feeling of disappointment that soured his mouth. 

“It would have been a little too easy if it had worked.” Snape was writing, without looking up. 

Remus blinked and looked up at the other teenager. “...What… do you mean?” 

“If the only thing one needed to do to keep a werewolf in check was to put them to sleep, it would be known as a common solution.” Snape looked up, and Remus noticed something in his eyes that he hadn’t really seen before; he classified it as determination. “Now that we have confirmed that it does not work, I will look on other aspects of potions. The biggest problem is to keep the adrenaline from the transformation to keep from overpowering the potion. I have various ideas, but I have to work on them one at a time. A lot of this will have to be checking things off as working or not working.”

“You’re… not giving up?” Remus was surprised when he realized that he had asked the question out loud. 

Snape had begun packing his things back into his bag when he was asked the question. He stopped to look at the other teenager, slowly looked him over. “I have just begun. Nobody who actually wishes to gain results gives up that easily.”

-----

Time passed, Snape didn’t meet with him that often, and Remus managed to calm his body and mind enough to figure that his feelings towards Snape seemed to originate in friendship, rather than more romantic emotions. He still felt happy when he saw the Slytherin, but he assumed that to be due to his canine side, not his human side. His canine side had found a source of safety and understanding, that the human side appreciated as well.

The days turned darker and colder, which meant that the full moon would remain longer on the sky, when that time of the month came around. Snape summoned Remus to talk about how winter affected the werewolf, but the meeting was short as there were no real changes in him, other than transforming earlier than during the summer times. Snape asked if he grew more hair, but Remus had never noticed such a change, so he was able to state with certainty that nothing like that happened. 

Two full moons came and went, both days, Remus was overjoyed to find that Snape visited him both nights before, and stayed during the night. He had felt guilty when asking for sex the second time, but Snape hadn’t shown any dislike or disgust towards the idea. Thus, they had sex again, and one more time after that, they both became more used to the feeling, and both were able to last longer, combined with the fact that Snape didn’t have any trouble walking after their third time. Remus couldn’t decide what he liked most with sex: both the act and the closeness afterwards were parts he enjoyed with all his heart. 

After their third time, Remus buried his nose into the other teenager’s black hair, and breathed in his scent. Snape squirmed slightly under him, only to stop when he felt the werewolf’s semen leak out of him. “Do you have a scent fetish…” The Slytherin asked dryly, as he settled in the werewolf’s arms. “You always end up doing that…” Snape had been very particulate about him not being scared of being bitten by Remus. It had been hard for the Gryffindor to actually allow himself to bite his partner, but the third time, he hadn’t been able to stop himself in his desire to mark the other. Snape had a good collection of love bites over his shoulders and back, Remus felt good when he looked upon them. He felt good when he hugged the other close, when they felt more like lovers, and not friends with benefits. Well, then of course, there was something more about for the first time not feeling anxious about his canine impulses, about being trusted to touch and bite someone, not to mention, that his friends, especially Sirius, would never even be close to baring their weak neck around him. It was a strange new level of trust which Remus never before had realized how much he had yearned for. 

“Maybe I have ‘your scent’ fetish.” The werewolf chuckled, cuddling closer, while nuzzling into the space behind Snape’s right ear. Snape was lying in his arms, with his back pressed against the werewolf’s chest, the perfect position for some lazy sex, if they decided that they had the energy for it. 

The Slytherin grunted at his words, shaking his head. “That was horrible. Please don’t tell me that was a line you stole from any of your friends…” 

Remus laughed and licked his earlobe, delighting in the reaction it caused in the teenager in his arms. “No, it just seemed like a good comeback.”

They laid silent for a while, until Snape spoke up. “Do you have feelings for me?” 

The words caused him to stop completely, as he tried to process the words. Slowly, he spoke up, stumbling through the sentences. “No...not really. I mean, I like you. I really like having sex with you, and I like you for everything you do for me… But it’s… I mean… I don’t think I’m in love or anything like that. But I do appreciate you… a lot, even…”

Snape was silent. Remus couldn’t figure out what he was thinking or feeling, the scents that came from the Slytherin were too… complicated for him to figure out. “I see…” He finally spoke up, in a tone of voice that made it impossible to know what the other was thinking, he didn’t smell upset.

“...Do you… want to stop having sex…?” Remus gathered all his courage and asked, despite feeling beyond terrified that the other would say yes. 

“...No, I… like it. I don’t want to...stop it.” 

The relief that washed over him made his head spin, as he leaned in to cuddle the teenager behind the ear again. “Good… It helps a lot… I’ve never felt this good, the nights before, I mean.” 

Snape sighed, and reached back to ruffle the werewolf’s hair. “I guess… I wonder if… No, nevermind. Can you go again?” 

The request surprised him, but he nodded. “I can.” 

“Good. Enter me.” 

Remus was not about to refuse that order.

Chapter Text

“Guys, she actually said yes!” James’ words reached them before the heavy doors to the common room flew open, revealing and utterly flustered and extremely excited James Potter. Christmas had approached quickly, and with it, the Yule Ball for the sixth year students. Some students called it ‘the last fun before all the tests begin.’

Peter was the first to show his happiness for James. He jumped to his feet and ran over to him, excitement making his round face shine with delight. “You mean Lily Evans is actually going with you to the Yule ball! That is great, she finally realized that you’re the best choice for her date, then?!” His high voice became even higher as he jumped around with James. 

“That’s exactly what I am saying!” James grabbed Peter’s hands, and the two of them began spinning around in place. 

Sirius looked as if he had been kicked in the face by a stag, staring at the two happy teenagers as if they had grown horns. “You… you mean she said yes…? But you’ve tried to ask her out since first year and she’s been uninterested… why would she say yes now?” He didn’t get up from his seat, in fact, he looked like he might fall over if he did. 

“I don’t know, and I won’t jinx it by asking.” James spun Peter around in a circle, and sent him off spinning with a laugh. In two big strides, he was over by Sirius, and grabbed his face. “Guess you won’t be the only one with a hottie on your arm for the ball!” He winked and went back to excitedly jump around with Peter. 

Sirius still looked like he had been kicked in the face, but he slowly began smiling. “Well, if you jump around like that, she might think you look too stupid to take to the ball.” He shook his head.

James quickly settled down, and stopped spinning Peter around, but the teenager was clearly unable to calm himself completely. Remus looked over at Sirius, keeping quiet about the fact that he could feel the scent of jealousy oozing of him, like a thick cloud. 

James was suddenly by Remus’ chair, catching the werewolf completely off guard. “Did you hear all that? Can you believe she finally said yes!?” His face shone so brightly that the werewolf couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“No, who said yes? And to what?”

“Lily Eva- wait… wait.” James caught him around the neck, and rubbed his knuckle into his head, causing Remus to chuckle and wave him off. “You hear everything! Almost got me there, you bastard!”

Remus was released, and he bent over to pick his book up, as it had fallen down on the ground. “I’m very glad for you, James.”

“I hope she wears a red dress…” The boy spoke, dreamingly, before he straightened up and smacked his own cheeks. “I gotta go out and run or something, I am far too excited to be able to calm down!” He was out the door before anyone had the chance to stop or comment on his escape. 

Peter turned towards Sirius. “Did you… actually manage to get me a date… Like you said you would?” He sounded hopeful, and nervous at the same time. 

“Yeah, I found a girl for you.” Remus noticed Peter’s relief when he was given a girl to go out to. “She wants to meet you before, but I am pretty sure she’ll say yes. She’s short so you don’t have to worry about her towering over you.” 

“Oh thank you!” Peter shone brightly, clearly encouraged by the idea of not being shorter than his date. “Who are you going with Sirius?” 

The room seemed to fall entirely silent. Remus looked up from his book, slightly nervous that Sirius might actually take his jealousy of Lily Potter out over Peter. Yet, the canine like teenager smiled, and gave Peter a wink. “Oh, I’m going with the hottest Ravenclaw.”

“...The blonde one…? Patricia… something?” 

“Wh- oh, her. No, I was talking about James Morgan.” Sirius grinned and rested his head in his hand. “I’ve been working on this one for a week. An actual challenge to get him to go with me, this was.”

As the two continued to speak about James Morgan, Remus tried to recall what the man looked like. James was a very common name, as James Potter liked to complain about, there were at least five James alone in Gryffindor, so it wasn’t exactly surprising that Sirius had managed to ensnare a date named James. Yet when he thought about the Ravenclaw, he remembered a tall, dark haired man, with deep, brown eyes. There was a resemblance between the Ravenclaw and their James, but it could just be him misremembering what the other James looked like. 

Peter was suddenly over by his chair, beaming at him. “Did you find a date yet?” 

The first face that appeared inside his head was that of Snape’s. It shocked him how quickly he had thought of the teenager, and it made him feel ashamed how easy it was to imagine going to the ball with Snape. Remus bit his lip, and shook his head. “No, I… I am not sure I will go.”

Suddenly, as if he had rose up from the floor, Sirius was by his other side. “You thought of someone just now.”

Remus cursed him silently. “No, I didn’t.” 

“You so did. Who is it?” 

“I didn’t think of anyone…” Remus tried to keep his voice dry as he pulled up the book to cover his face. 

“It’s a guy, right? You don’t really like girls.” Sirius almost got the book in his face for that comment. 

“I’ve never said I didn’t!” The werewolf responded, clearly flustered. 

“You don’t seem like the type who would like girls.” Peter agreed, only to get an angry look from Remus as well. “What? There’s nothing wrong with it! Some people just don’t like girls… and that’s alright. I knew you grew up with mostly muggles, but wizards and witches don’t really care about things like that.” Peter nodded, as if he had said something very important, and he might have, if it hadn’t been obvious to pretty much anyone within the wizarding world.

“Oh, they do if they are purebloods…” Sirius rolled his eyes. “It gets them very uncomfortable if there can’t be descendants involved in your romance.” 

“My family isn’t like that! And they are purebloods!” Peter objected. 

“What, they are?” Sirius looked at the rat like boy with clear shock. 

“Yeah. I thought I said that?” He looked to Remus, who shook his head. 

“...My family didn’t say anything about the Pettigrews being purebloods…” Sirius still sounded as if he couldn’t believe his own words. 

“My grandparents picked the name, because they didn’t like their last very much. Maybe that’s why?” 

“...I guess…” Sirius admitted, before turning towards Remus again. “Anyway, I’ll hook you up with a cute boy, if you need me to.”

“...Thank you, I will… think about it.” He smiled at the dog like teenager, and pulled his book up to continue reading. 

-----

Remus had found Snape in the library, working on something. It had been a choice of the moment to ask him if he could study next to him. The two of them didn’t really talk outside of the shack, and outside from their werewolf meetings. Remus had come to think of Snape as a friend, despite that. A friend he didn’t mind getting to know better. Yet he realized the moment he sat down that Snape was highly uncomfortable around him, when they weren’t all alone together. He could tell that the Slytherin was looking around, as if he was waiting for the Marauders to jump out and surprise him with a hex. 

Remus studied on his own, pretending that he didn’t notice the other’s nervousness. Finally, a thought which had been dancing around in the back of his mind, escaped from the werewolf’s lips, one he wished that he could take back the second he had spoken it out loud. “If… you’re not having one already… do you want to go to the ball with me?” 

Snape looked up, as if the other teenager had hit him. For a few seconds, they stared at one another, before the Slytherin slammed his book shut. “Very funny. You’re absolutely hilarious.”

“Wait, I wasn’t… I did mean it.” 

“No. The answer is no.” 

“...I… I don’t understand… why are you mad?” He asked, reaching out to try and get the other to stay. “I didn’t mean to insult you.”

Snape gave him a look as if he was a collection of poisonous vipers. “You’d never want to go with me. This is a cruel trick from Potter and Black, isn’t it?”

Remus felt as if cold water had been thrown over him, chilling him to the very bone. Realization hit him so hard that it became hard for the teenager to breathe. Snape didn’t trust him whatsoever. It hurt to know that Snape only trusted him when they were alone, and in a place where Remus’ fellow Marauders wouldn’t be able to hurt the Slytherin. Whatever trust he had believed to be there, whatever emotions he held towards Snape, none of those would ever be accepted, as long as Snape believed that there was any chance that his friends would hurt him. Not to mention the fact that his friends were hurting Snape, still, meaning that the Slytherin probably had no reason to believe anything else.

Snape gathered his things, and pushed them back into his bag. “I’m not going to the ball whatsoever, so you can tell your friends that they don’t have to continue planning their jokes on me.” And so, he was out of the library, before Remus could object further to his words. 

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Remus decided to not go to the Yule ball whatsoever, when he had realized just how little had been between him and Snape, he hadn’t felt like doing, anything really. He had thought hard about their relationship, and had come to realize that Snape had never trusted him in the first place. What Remus had mistaken for trust was really just the other teenager being...well, a decent, good person. The werewolf must have looked so pathetic to the other, so very helpless that even he had decided that he should help him. It felt chilling to know that the Slytherin was the better person, if one compared the Marauders and Snape. Snape had never really done anything to deserve his treatment, and despite being bullied and hurt on weekly basis, he had seen someone in distress, and figured that he could help. The sex didn’t have to be included in the equation whatsoever, both of them had probably needed it, and both of them didn’t seem like people who would get to experience it for a long time, if ever. 

With these realizations bouncing around in his head, he couldn’t bring himself to go to the Yule Ball, and have a good time with his friends. Peter assumed that he hadn’t gotten the date he wanted and therefore didn’t want to go, Sirius thought he never really wanted to go in the first place, because he was a lousy dancer, and James was too high up in the clouds to think about anything but his date. 

It was fine, though. Remus was happy to be left alone. He left the common room when he was certain that no one was looking, proceeded to take a few hidden paths until he ended up in one of the towers of the castle. The sky was painted in the most gorgeous colors of red, magenta and yellow, reflecting onto the lake to create a stunning view. A gentle wind rustled through his hair as he leaned against the railing. If he looked the other way, he knew he could spot the six year students, flocking to the ball. The music could be heard vaguely, even from up in the tower. 

He thought of James, striding around with Lily on his arm, beaming like the sun, and proud beyond belief. He thought of Sirius, holding the arm of an equally handsome young man, probably dressed in red and gold, just to spite his family. He thought of Peter, how nervous he had been, and how determined he had been to make the night the best it could be. Then, he thought of Snape, sitting alone in his sleeping quarters, hated by the world and hating it in return. Remus bit his lower lip, but that didn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.