“You know, I thought that if I were to ‘love and dote on you,’” Gu Yun pauses to take a breath, “it meant that I would be the one on top.”
“I thought loving and doting on me meant that we could do what I wanted,” Chang Geng replies, a playful glint in his eyes. “Unless, of course, you want to do it differently. Because I am fine with that. All I want is to make you feel good. The way you’ve protected and loved me all this time— I want to do the same for you.”
Thrown off by his unexpected honesty, Gu Yun finds himself unable to respond. He simply arches up into Chang Geng’s warm touch, biting down on his lip as he shudders, so as not to make any strange, unattractive noises. Since his hearing wasn’t up to par, he might not be able to stop himself unless he paid close attention.
“You don’t have to hold back,” Chang Geng says. “I like seeing the way your body reacts.”
Gu Yun does not know what to say to that, so he keeps his mouth shut.
“I haven’t done this before, you know,” Chang Geng confides. “So it helps me figure out what you like.”
“I haven’t, either,” says Gu Yun. “With women… But not like this.”
“Really,” says Chang Geng. “I suppose it is different being on the bottom, then?”
Not that, Gu Yun thinks vaguely to himself, as Chang Geng slides his hands tantalizingly slow up and down his chest, for he hadn’t been referring to the position at all. It was simply that everything else about this was different. He’d never felt this unparalleled desire in his gut, burning hotter than anything he’s felt before. Chang Geng leans in and sucks a kiss into the crook of his neck, and, obeying Chang Geng’s earlier suggestion, Gu Yun allows a moan to escape his lips. He’s pleased when Chang Geng groans in response, thinking— I can make him feel good, too.
Chang Geng seems to be devoting a lot of time kissing up and down his neck and jaw, so Gu Yun tilts his head up and looks into his eyes right as he rolls his hips up, crotch dragging against Chang Geng’s. Chang Geng moans loudly, the muffled sound lighting a fire anew inside of Gu Yun. Still, despite the desire flaring in his eyes, he looks a little uncertain, so Gu Yun takes pity on him. He pushes Chang Geng’s shoulder again, not to ward him off this time, but to trade their positions so that he is the one straddling Chang Geng.
“I have been in your position before, at least,” says Gu Yun. “Of course, someone as good-looking as me—”
Chang Geng rolls his eyes but smiles.
“I at least have some experience,” Gu Yun finishes. “So let me guide you.”
Gu Yun kisses Chang Geng, relishing the feeling of soft, warm lips on his own, and as he does so, he traces gentle hands over Chang Geng’s scarring. His hands, unlike Chang Geng’s who just wanted to touch and explore, find a purpose and travel down to curl around Chang Geng’s cock, eliciting a surprised whimper. With his other hand he traces around Chang Geng’s nipple, smirking to himself when Chang Geng shivers with delight. He repeats the motion, and leans down to circle his nipple with his tongue. Chang Geng’s body gives an involuntary jerk of pleasure, and Gu Yun smiles to himself.
“I never,” says Chang Geng, pausing to take a shaky breath. “I never anticipated that would feel so good.”
“I’ll do you one better,” Gu Yun replies. Then he shifts further down the bed. He’s never done what he is about to do, but Chang Geng has always been an exception of sorts. So he presses an open-mouthed kiss to the head of Chang Geng’s cock, enjoying the noise that Chang Geng makes, and then takes him into his mouth fully.
“Ah…” Chang Geng is so sensitive, so responsive, that Gu Yun finds himself enjoying this. He remembers the things that he himself enjoyed, and tries to recreate those experiences on Chang Geng’s body— one hand playing with his balls, then dragging teasingly at the skin of his inner thighs, all while keeping up a good rhythm.
“Yifu,” Chang Geng breathes out in disbelief. “That feels— oh.”
“Stop calling me that,” says Gu Yun absentmindedly. He looks down at his work. Chang Geng’s earlier nervousness seems to have faded, replaced by hurried breath and rosy cheeks of someone who is raring to go. So he reaches over to pick up the oil lamp they’d left at the bedside earlier and looks down at it, feeling his own face flush. Sure, Gu Yun has come to terms with what they’re doing, but when faced with it, he cannot help but feel a twinge of embarrassment.
“Let me,” says Chang Geng, so fast and almost desperate. So Gu Yun lets him, turns his head a little as Chang Geng covers his fingers with the oil. He swallows hard as he feels that first finger circle around his entrance, then push in.
“You feel so good,” says Chang Geng, with such honest intensity that Gu Yun starts to flush red again. “It feels perfect, like this. I can’t wait to be inside you.”
“Where did all this confidence come from,” says Gu Yun, surprised and breathless but not altogether irritated.
Chang Geng smiles in response. “When I saw you take the lead, and I figured out just how much you really want me, Yifu.”
The full-body shudder that runs through Gu Yun cannot be disguised. Perhaps he, too, is becoming one of those immoral men that is turned on by inappropriate name-calling in bed. But if this was wrong, then so be it, for he could not think of anything more right than this moment, this scenario that he is impossibly blessed to be living out.
“Of course I want you. You only figured that out now?” Gu Yun mutters under his breath.
“No, but it’s nice to be reminded.”
Chang Geng then pins him down in a swift display of athleticism. They’re back in the positions where they started. Chang Geng adds a finger, stretching him open further, and as Gu Yun adjusts to the feeling, the heat burns ever more inside of him. Chang Geng leans down and, with the playful pride of a puppy who’s learned a new trick, sucks on Gu Yun’s nipple until he’s shuddering, body twisting almost uncomfortably, unused to being on the receiving end of such a degree of pleasure. Just when he thinks it cannot get better, Chang Geng trails his lips downwards, and presses a slow kiss to the head of his cock. Gu Yun groans, arching against the sheets as Chang Geng takes him inside his mouth.
“You,” says Gu Yun between harsh breaths. “You are really something else.”
“Only returning the favour,” Chang Geng pulls off to say playfully, before continuing. Pleasure shoots through Gu Yun’s body as Chang Geng licks and sucks, unfairly skillful for someone who has only just grasped the concept. Unwillingly he curls a hand in Chang Geng’s hair, and unwillingly he tightens it until his hand is shaking. Chang Geng has a hand wrapped around the base of Gu Yun’s cock, yet he continues his ministrations with his other hand inside of Gu Yun, and the twin sensations are enough to nearly push him to completion.
“Wait, stop,” Gu Yun blurts out rather suddenly.
Chang Geng looks alarmed, almost panicked. He stops immediately. “Have I done something wrong, Yifu?”
Gu Yun has given up on telling him to drop the nickname. “I’m not young enough that I could go again,” he explains. “If I let myself go now, then the night ends here. And if we’re going to do this, we should do it all the way. I want you inside me. I want us to finish together.”
He barely has time to be surprised by his own admission before Chang Geng kisses him, hard and deep and full of undisguised want. “Okay,” says Chang Geng breathlessly, and finally, finally lines himself up against Gu Yun’s entrance. When he pushes in, everything else falls away and narrows down to the point where they are one. Gu Yun lets out a groan as he adjusts to the feeling. It’s foreign, but once he gets past the strangeness of it, it becomes perfect, the way that Chang Geng feels inside him, the way that their bodies fit together.
“Is this okay?” asks Chang Geng.
“Yes,” says Gu Yun, “but it would be better if you would move already.” He digs his heels into Chang Geng’s back to prompt him on. It works, for Chang Geng thrusts inside him, and at Gu Yun’s eager moan he picks up his pace. Every brush of Chang Geng’s cock against his insides feels like a spark inside of him. Everything they had been through falls away to the simplicity of this, two bodies seeking solace in one another. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Chang Geng takes Gu Yun’s hand in his own, and Gu Yun thinks not of pushing him away, not of denying how far they’ve come and how much he wants, but of taking Chang Geng’s hand tightly in his own. And that he does. With their fingers intertwined, with Chang Geng’s moans of pleasure hot against his ear, and with Chang Geng inside of him pushing at just the right spot, it doesn’t take long for Gu Yun to be pushed over the edge. He comes with a cry, gripping tightly at Chang Geng, spilling against his own stomach.
“Oh— Yifu,” says Chang Geng, voice shaking with desire. It only takes him a few more thrusts before he follows, spilling his load inside of Gu Yun. Chang Geng rides out the aftershocks inside of him, and then relaxes, letting his weight fall sleepily on top of Gu Yun. Gu Yun takes several self-indulgent seconds to enjoy the feeling, and then nudges at Chang Geng.
“You should get off of me,” says Gu Yun. “We should clean up.”
“Mm, no,” says Chang Geng. “Your promise to love and dote on me should extend to this, too. Let me cuddle you if I want to. Let me savour this— I’ve wanted this for a long time, now. Haven’t you?”
Gu Yun sighs exasperatedly, for it seems he has no choice. “At least pull out,” he grunts. “It will be uncomfortable later if you don’t.” That, at least, Chang Geng obeys. Gu Yun feels a little pang of disappointment at the sensation of emptiness, but it is quickly remedied when Chang Geng wraps his arms around him and snuggles close.
He would have never thought that it could feel like this. That letting Chang Geng take control, be on top of him, could lead to such a new experience. That the very presence of Chang Geng’s warm body next to his right now could elicit a wellspring of joy in his battered heart. To quell that sickening feeling of happiness, he quips, “I feel I’ve found myself in a disadvantageous situation this year, continuously having my boat overturned in a pond.”
Chang Geng props himself up on an elbow to stare at him. His face falls a little. “Was it not good for you?”
Helplessly endeared, Gu Yun reaches out and brushes Chang Geng’s hair out of his face. “What do you think,” says Gu Yun. “Of course it was.”
“I knew it,” Chang Geng says plainly. He kisses Gu Yun on the forehead and smiles, bright and dazzling. “I’m glad it was good for you, too. It was amazing for me, Yifu.”
“You are never going to stop calling me that, are you?”
“I don’t think you want me to stop at all, Yifu,” Chang Geng tosses back with a grin.
Gu Yun points to his ears. “Deaf,” he says. “Can’t hear you.” But when Chang Geng pulls him in to a warm embrace, he does allow himself to snuggle closer to Chang Geng. They fall asleep like that, limbs entangled, hearts beating softly against one another, and it is the best sleep he has ever had.