Work Header

Knocking Boots

Work Text:

“Knocking boots and he was singing about his truck earlier. Is he having sex with his truck?” Peter asks as he turns around in the passenger seat to look at his sister in the backseat.

“Probably. But why is it called that?” Beverly says not looking up from the Starkpad sitting in her lap.

“I think they keep their boots on for sex.”

“But doesn’t the bed gets dirty? That’s unsanitary.” Beverly says as she looks up at her brother.

“I guess so. Or do they have special boots for it? Hey Pops!”

Steve is deep in thought and ignoring his children’s conversation. He was mentally going through his shopping list trying to make sure he hadn’t forgot anything.

“Pops!” Peter repeats. When there is no answer, he tries a different technique. “Hey, Steve!”

“What?” Steve finally replies.

“Do cowboys have special boots for sex?”

“What are you asking me?”

Steve had heard what Peter said but it just didn’t make sense.

“ Abort! Abort!” Beverly whispers from the backseat.

“Knocking boots means having sex doesn’t it?” Peter continues ignoring his sister’s plea to stop.

“No when they hug each other the boots knock together.” Steve does his best to give them a PG description of it.

“Why write a song about it? Dad had us watch that gay cowboy movie he likes. Why didn’t they use lube?” Beverly asks deciding to join into the conversation.

Steve nearly chokes on his drink. He coughs and sputters. Why is this generation like this? He didn’t want to discuss sex with his children.

“I don’t want to hear another word about sex from you two!” Steve says as he recovers and slams his drink into the cupholder.

“Okay, but you’re leaving me unprepared if I ever have sex with a cowboy,” Peter says as seriously as he can.

“Just use lube and take off your shoes, Pete. Jesus, I can’t take this today,” Steve says exasperated.