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    “How are you eating that?”

    “Huh?” I ask, absentmindedly eating whatever my fork happens to find as I stare at the girl across the room.

    “Jes!” Jade yells at me.

    “Yeah?” I ask, shaking myself. Jade’s talking. Focus.

    “Bloomin’ hell, Jes. Just go talk to her,” she says, shaking her head. “You’ve been staring over there for the last 20 minutes.”

    “I have not,” I say defensively, though we both know I’m lying. “Also, is your tongue tingly? My tongue is tingly,” I say, opening my mouth and sticking my tongue out in what I’m sure is the most unattractive way possible just as the hot blonde from two tables away chances a glance at me. She looks at me just a second, seemingly confused, before turning away.

    “You know, for someone who is usually such a great flirt, you’re really mucking this up,” Jade says, sipping her drink. “Also, you’ve been eating straight wasabi.”

    “Well, I’m used to flirting with boys, and they’re quite stupid, so it’s not exactly hard.”

    “I resent that,” Jed says jokingly, sliding into the booth next to his girlfriend.

    “Aw, she’s only telling the truth, babe,” Jade says far too seriously before leaning into her boy and pecking him on the cheek.

    “She’s right though, Jes. Perrie and I have a mutual friend, and she says she’s quite into you,” Jed says. “She’s a big fan.”

    “Perrie’s her name?” I ask, liking the way her name rolls off the tongue. I’ve always been a fan of double letters. Perrie. “What’s she do?”

    “She’s an entertainment lawyer, I think? She also does a bit of song writing. Killer voice, if memory serves, but a bit afraid of performing in public.”

    “She probably thinks I’m an idiot,” I grumble, dropping my head in my hands. “I’m a barmaid turned dancer. I barely went to school. How’m I supposed to compete with a lawyer?”

     “You’re a hell of an arguer,” Jade says, sipping her drink. I glare at her.

     “What? The make-up sex would probably be great,” she says.

     I mull the thought over in my head. Poor Jed looks mortified, but he’s trying to stay in the conversation, bless him. I’m about to commend him on his being an excellent boyfriend when I feel someone tap my shoulder.

    I whip around and come face to face with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.

    “Hi,” She says with a shy smile. “I know this is kind of rude, but my friend Leigh threatened to drag me over here if I wouldn’t come say hi. I’m a bit of a fangirl, I’m afraid.”

     Wow, she’s pretty.

    I realize that I’m meant to respond, but I’ve gone tongue tied.

    “Do you wanna sit with us?” Jade asks sweetly.

    “Sure, thanks,” Perrie says, sliding into the booth next to me. “Jed, how’s it going?”

    “Well, Perrie, thank you. Ah, this is my girlfriend-”

    “Jade, right?” She says. “I may have been a big fan of the BBKMV dance crew before you all split up. You and Jesy were my favorites, though, so I’m quite happy to see you still get on.”

    The way she says my name. Not so geordie as Jade, but still a little funny. I can’t seem to get over anything she does, apparently, no matter how small.

    “Yeah, Jes and I got on straight away, and we’ve been best mates ever since. Now, how do you know Jed?”

    “Ah, well, his stylist? Leigh Anne? She’s my best friend,” She says, pointing over to where Leigh Anne sits on the lap of a well-built tattooed man.

    “Oh, I love Leigh!” Jade says, happy to have made the connection.

    “Wait, I’ve met Leigh,” I say, remembering something. “At your birthday party last year, maybe? She did karaoke to Rihanna, I think?”

    “Sounds like Leigh,” Perrie says with a laugh. “She loves Rihanna.”

    “Who doesn’t?” I ask, giving my best cheeky smile.

    Perrie and I monopolize the conversation after that, trading flirty smiles and making small talk.

    “Do you wanna dance?” I ask a bit later, suddenly finding my courage again.

    “Maybe I could buy you a drink? I’m afraid you’ll show me up on the dancefloor. I may need a bit more liquid courage first.”

    “Sure, sure,” I say with a laugh. “Jade, Jed-” I start, looking across the table before I realize they’re gone.

    “Guess they got bored of us,” I say.

    “Ah, I think I know what’s going on,” Perrie says with a little smile. “Look over there.”

    I look over to where she’s pointing and notice Jade and Jed talking quickly with Leigh Anne and the man she’s with, shooting Perrie and I a glance every now and then.

    “We’ve been set up,” I say with a laugh.

    “Leigh always teases me about my little crush on you,” Perrie says, her eyes going wide once she realizes what she’s said. “I-I, um, I-”

    “It’s alright,” I say, covering the hand she’s laid on the table with my own. “Jade’s been teasing me about you this whole night. I kind of couldn’t stop staring at you earlier and may have accidentally eaten straight wasabi-”

    She just laughs, entwining her fingers with my own. “I was wondering why you made that face at me.”

    I cover my face with my free hand. “Yeah, I’m usually a bit smoother than that,” I say, taking on an Australian accent.

    “That’s quite alright,” Perrie says, mimicking me, before sieging back into her natural accent. “I thought it was proper cute.”

    “Glad to hear it,” I say, smiling.

    “Do you wanna go out tomorrow?” She asks me abruptly. “Sorry if that was too much too fast.”

    “What’s wrong with right now?” I ask, just as eager.

    “I like the way you think,” She says, hopping up out of the booth before reaching to pull me up. She doesn’t let go of my hand once I’m on my feet.

    We wave to her friends and mine on our way out. Leigh starts audibly cheering once she sees us hand in hand, which is quite the feat, considering we’re in the middle of one of the loudest nightclubs in London, and Jed joins her after a beat. Jade just laughs, waving at us and planting a kiss on her silly boyfriend’s cheek.

    “Ready to go?” I ask Perrie, peeking down at our joined hands.

    “Born ready, babe,” she says, planting a bold kiss on my cheek before leading us out the doors and into the city.

Chapter Text

    I wake to something tickling my cheek. I scrunch my nose, trying to rid myself of the tickly-thing, but it just falls to my mouth instead. I blow a breath out, hoping that’ll do the trick, but it falls back just as soon as I’ve blown it away. I give up on the idea of solving my problem hands-free, and reach up to shove the itchy blonde thing out of my face.

    Wait, blonde?

    I quickly run a hand through my own hair, relieved when I pull a strand in front of my face and see that its still red. The girls would never let me live it down if I drunk dyed my hair again . I don’t remember having more than a single drink last night, but I don’t remember eating either, so who knows how much damage a single voddy diet coke could do?

    “Mmm,” I feel, more than hear, on the back of my neck. The sound is gruff, but distinctly feminine, and can’t help but wonder yet again if I was a little drunker than I thought. I usually prefer boys on my little conquests, but I’ve been known to fall into the bed of a girl or two before. I take in my surroundings, feel the hands linked around my waist, the smooth, pale leg stuck in between mine and curled around my ankle. The hot breath at the back of my neck, in and out, in, out. It’s only when I hear her speak that I realize exactly how much trouble I may be in.

    “Morning, baba,” Perrie says from behind me.

    “Good morning,” I answer softly, both a little relieved and a little afraid. Perrie and I are no strangers to a bit of a drunken snog, or a little grinding in the club, but the way she’s holding me right now seems a lot more intimate than anything else we’ve ever done.

    “We don’ have to get up yet, d’we?” She mumbles against my neck. The vibrations from her gravelly voice combined with the feel of her warms lips on my neck could have me agreeing to anything, I’m afraid.

    “Not yet,” I tell her, though part of me thinks I should get up and run out right then and right there. The other part of me never wants to leave her embrace.

    “M’kay, good,” She says sleepily, pulling me a bit closer and wedging her leg a bit more firmly between my own. Soon enough, I hear her soft snores and I know she’s back asleep. Even though I’m scared out of my mind, I can’t help but smile at her cute little snuffles. I try to fall back to sleep, to just relax and let her hold me like I’ve wanted her to for the last I don’t know how many years, but the fact that I can’t really remember last night keeps me from doing so. I’m terribly concerned that I’ve stepped across some invisible friendship line. But, if I’ve stepped across, I suppose Perrie’s stepped right with me, hasn’t she? I mean, she is the one holding me, after all.

     Despite my best efforts, or at least the best I can offer at the minute, sleep seems reluctant to take me, so I just try to enjoy this little moment that I don’t know if I’ll ever get again.

    It ends sooner than I’d like it to, as Perrie starts to stir again 10 minutes later, this time rolling away from me as she stretches her arms and legs. I stay still, unsure of what to do.

    “Jes?” She asks me a few moments later. “Jes, are you awake?”

    “Yeah, I’m up,” I say, rolling over just in time to see Perrie rubbing her tired eyes. Wow, she’s cute.

    “What time is it?” She asks.

    “How am I supposed to know?” I ask with a laugh. “I just got up, same as you.”

    She smiles at me before grabbing her phone off the nightstand.

     “Why, it’s practically the crack of dawn!” She says with a yawn.

    “Pez, your phone says it’s 9:38,” I say.

    “Well, aye! That’s practically 5am for a Saturday,” she says far too seriously.

    I just laugh. “Well, we can watch a bit of telly before we get up for real, if you’d like.”

    “Alright,” she says with a yawn. I turn and grab the remote from where it sits on the table, surprised when I feel her arms coiling around me once again.

    “Uh, Pez?” I ask, properly shook.

    “Just a few more minutes Jes, please,” She begs, sounding sad.

    “Okay,” I agree, not sure what’s going on, but wanting more than anything to feel her arms around me.

    “Are you gonna turn the telly on?” She asks, lips close to my ear.

    “Is that alright? I thought you wanted to go back to sleep.”

    “I just want to lay here,” she says candidly. “I don’t much care if the telly’s on or not.”

    “So…?” I ask, unsure of a lot of things, but most presently what to do about the TV.

    “I know you like a bit of reality TV in the mornings babe, so go ahead,” she says with a laugh, and I can feel the vibrations from her chest on my back.

    “Alright, thanks,” I say a bit awkwardly. I feel her laugh again, feel her pull her arms around me just a little tighter. Her leg finds its way between mine once again, and after tensing momentarily, I feel myself relax fully into her embrace.

    I flip through the channels before settling on a rerun of TOWIE. Someone’s just accused someone of getting lip filler when I feel Perrie’s lips on the back of my neck once again.

    “Pez,” I sigh, and she hums. I feel her nip me with her teeth before soothing the little bite with her tongue. I can’t help but sigh, which spurs her on, starts her sucking at my neck.

    “Perrie,” I say, but it comes out more like a moan than the reprimand I intended it to be. “Perrie, stop,” I say, breathlessly but forcefully.

    She scrambles away from me quickly, not looking at me. I grab her arm just as she stands up, pulling her back onto the bed.

    “Pez, what’s going on?” I say trying to meet her eyes. She’s busy looking everywhere but me.

   “Perrie,” I say, this time a bit more insistently, and grab her chin so that she has to look at me.

    “What do you want, Jes?” She asks harshly, but I can see the tears in her eyes.

    “I just want to know what’s going on,” I say softly, moving my hand from her chin to stroke her cheek. “I can’t really remember last night, and I just don’t know wha-”

    “What if I don’t know what’s going on?” She asks, a little tear falling down onto her cheek. I quickly swipe it away with my thumb, but another soon follows.

    “Just talk to me, then?” I suggest. “Maybe we can figure it out.”

    “Okay,” she says with a little sniffle. “Well, um. What’s the last thing you remember?”

    “I remember…” I start, but it takes me a minute to recall any information. “Well, we were at the club, and then you were feeling a bit poorly, so we came back here?”

    “Yeah, that’s right,” she says, but offers up no further information.

    “So how did we end up in bed together, then?” I ask.

    “Damn, that makes it sound like we slept together,” she says with a laugh. “We always end up the the same bed, Jes.”

    “Yeah, I guess. But it feels… different this time,” I say cautiously, watching her face.

    She just looks at me.

    “Perrie…”

    “Oh, Jes. It’s ah- it’s been different for me, for a while now,” she admits. “I didn’t- um, I didn’t wanna mess anything up between us, so I just. I kept quiet, thinking it would go away, but. It’s not going away.”

    “What’s not going away?” I ask hopefully, though I’m pretty sure I already know.

    “My, um. Well. I like you, Jessica. Like, like-like. I proper fancy you,” she says, shutting her eyes, bracing for rejection.

    “Well, that’s a relief,” I say with a laugh.

    “What?” She asks, her eyes shooting open.

    “I’ve fancied you the last four or so years, Perrie. I’ve just been waiting for you to notice. You’re a bit daft, babe,” I say with a laugh.

    She looks at me incredulously. “Are you taking the mic?”

    “I promise I’m not,” I say.

    “Well then- Well I- Well why didn’t you say anything?” She asks accusingly.

    “Same reason as you. I was worried about messing things up. Plus, you were engaged at the time.”

    “So were you!” She says defensively.

    “Yeah, cause you were,” I say with a laugh. “I figured I’d better give up on you and try to get over it.”

    “Well, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” she says haughtily.

    “Yeah,” I agree with a little laugh. “Not my best idea.”

    “So, what happens now?” She asks.

    “Well, what would you like to happen?” I ask with a small smile.

    “I’d think I’d like to kiss you, if that’s alright?” she says shyly.

    I just smile and lean in.

     “As you wish.”



Chapter Text

     I find her in the kitchen, fiddling with something on the counter near the stove. I can immediately tell its her, even in the dim moonlight. Her silhouette is so distinct, even though we’re all the same height. I can tell it’s her from her hair, her neck, her thighs , though I know better than to linger on the last feature for too long.

    She’s being awfully noisy for it being 3:17am. At first, I think maybe the little numbers on the microwave clock are lying, that maybe it’s not really that late, but a quick glance at the oven clock shows the same time. She must not realize. Or, maybe she doesn’t realize the ruckus she’s causing. Regardless, I’m not worried about it, knowing the other two will sleep through her uncharacteristic noisiness. Leigh’s a heavy sleeper, and Jade sleeps with headphones in every night. I, on the other hand, am woken up by the smallest of shuffles.

    Perrie stops rustling around for a moment, instead just placing her arms on the counter, leaning forward.

    “Pez?” I say quietly, not wanting to scare her but wanting to let her know that I’m here.

    “Shite, Jessica,” she says with a jump, whipping around to face me. “Gave me a heart attack, you did.”

    “Sorry,” I say quietly, walking over to sit on the island next to where she stands. “What are you doing up this late?”

    “Did I wake you?” She asks, and I can see the apology in her eye’s before she’s even offered it. “I’m sorry, Jes.”

    “Oh, it’s alright, babe,” I say, running a hand through my sleep-mussed hair. “I’m just a light sleeper is all.”

    She gives me what I think is meant to be a small smile, but it comes out more like a grimace.

    “What’s wrong, baba?” I ask her, grabbing her hand.

    “It’s stupid,” she says, bringing the hand that’s not holding mine to rub at her eyes.

    “Most things are, love,” I say with a laugh. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. C’mon, what is it?”

    “I just...ugh. I can’t. It’s just all a bit too much sometimes, you know?” she asks, eyes shining. “I-um. I’m grateful for all the stuff I have, all the things we get the opportunity to do, I mean. We’re living the dream, Jes. The absolute dream. But sometimes, it just. Sometimes-”

    “It feels more like a nightmare?” I offer.

    “Yeah,” she says, biting her lip. Despite her best efforts, a tear starts to track its way down her face. I quickly hop off the countertop and take her into my arms. As soon as I do, she starts to make these little choking sounds, and I can feel my heart break.

    “Oh Pezza, it’s gonna be alright,” I say, pressing kisses to her forehead, her cheek, her hair.

    “But what if it’s not?” She mumbles into my neck.

    “Then we’ll figure it out when we get there,” I say, running a hand up and down her back.

    I keep humming gentle reassurances at her temple as she cries, and eventually her cries slow to soft sniffles and the occasional hiccup.

     “Are you feeling any better?” I ask, once the cries become nearly nonexistent.

    Nearly.

    “Maybe a little,” she says, though I’m sure she’s only saying it for my benefit.

    “Would a cuppa help?” I ask, loosening my hold on her a bit.

    “Nah, I think I just better go to sleep,” she says, wiping her eyes before meeting mine.

    “Alright, then,” I say, pulling her in for one last hug before I back away. “You wake me if you need anything, alright?”

    “Sure thing. Thanks, Jes,” she says, shooting me the tiniest of smiles.

    “Always, love,” I say, before making my way back to my room. I hear Perrie return to her own room after a couple of minutes, so I decide I better try and get back to sleep. A quick glance at the clock lets me know that it’s 4:38, and I groan, imagining the fatigue I’ll feel upon waking.

    I’m nearly back to sleep when I hear my door creak open, and the quick padding of feet before I feel a dip in the bed next to me.

    I turn around to face the dip, though I already know who I’ll find lying in it.

    “Can I stay here tonight?” She asks, all watery blue eyes and tear stained cheeks and soft bitten lips and how could I say anything but yes?

    “Of course, babe,” I say. She turns away from me, and I’m a little surprised at her sudden move until she asks in a small voice,

    “Can, um. Will you hold me?”

    I don’t answer, but quickly wrap my arms around her little waist and twine one of my legs with her own.

    “Goodnight, Jesminda,” she says softly, bringing one of the hands wrapped around her waist to her lips before giving it a smacking kiss.

    “Night, Perriewinkle,” I say, planting a soft kiss behind her ear. I feel her shiver a bit, but shrug it off as a simple involuntary reaction, trying not to think much of it.

   “I love you,” I whisper once I’m sure she’s asleep. As I drift off, I try to think of anything but the sleeping girl in my arms, and all the other things I want but cannot have.



Chapter Text

     “Well don’t you look nice,” Perrie says, hopping up on the bed behind me. She’s a little too close, maybe, but I don’t mind. 

     “You know, it’s my Sunday best,” I say, not looking up from my phone. The plaid boxer shorts and black cuffed t-shirt I’m currently sporting are far from my best look, but I’m comfy, and I know Perrie doesn’t mind. 

     “Well, I think you look proper hot,” she says, her breath hitting my neck. She cuddles up to me, one hand around my waist and a leg thrown between my own. 

     “Mmm,” is all I give in response, more than a little distracted by her skin touching mine but trying not to show it. I can tell from how she’s pressed up against me that she’s in her typical movie-night fare: a long t-shirt and socks. 

     She sits up a moment later, when her phone goes off, and I have to fight not to groan at the loss of contact.  

     I’m not deprived long, as her hand lands firmly on my butt just a moment later, half on my skin and half on the soft red plaid shorts. I can see in the reflection of the TV that she’s on her phone, not paying attention to where her hand has landed. 

     Surely it’s an innocent mistake, though the feel of her hands on me is making me think all sorts of things that are no where close to being innocent. 

     I don’t want to tell her to move, but if I don’t and she realizes where her hand is, she’ll wonder why I didn’t say anything. 

     “Uhh, Pez?” I ask reluctantly. 

     “Yeah?” She says absentmindedly. 

     “Your hand is on my bum.”

     “Oh, sorry!” She says, pulling back her hand with a nervous giggle. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

     “It’s alright,” I say with a nervous laugh of my own. “Somebody may as well touch it.”

     “Oh, shush,” she says with a laugh, tugging my arm so I roll over to face her. “You haven’t had sex with anyone in, what, 4 hours?”

     “Oh, shut up!” I say, shoving her gently. “It’s been a minute since I’ve had a boy to romance me.” 

     “What about a girl?” she challenges, tossing me a wink. I don’t know when playful Pez decided to come for a visit, but I’m glad to see her. Sad Pez has been around far too long since her breakup, and I’m happy to see the light back in Perrie’s eyes. 

     “Oh, let’s see… 3, maybe 4? No, yeah, 4 days,” I say, lying through my teeth. My lie has the intended effect, and I see Perrie’s eyes go wide.

     “Only kidding, babe,” I say with a laugh, watching her visibly relax. “You know the only woman I have eyes for is you.”

     She rolls her eyes and groans, but the little smile stays on her face. “Have you ever, you know, got with a girl?” 

     “No, but I’ve thought about it,” I admit honestly. “I just sort of wonder what it would be like, you know?”

     “Yeah,” she admits, “Me too. But then my brain gets sort of… mind boggled at the whole thing. I just have lots of… questions.”

     “Yeah,” I agree lamely, not really knowing what to say next. “Have you ever kissed a girl?”

     “No,” she says. “Why? Have you?”

     “A couple of times,” I admit. “I was pretty drunk, though.”

     “Was it different to kissing a boy?” She asks, genuinely curious. 

     “I’m sure it was. I can’t really remember, though. Both times were a bit of a blur.”

     “Will you kiss me?” She asks, looking as shocked as I feel after she says it. “I mean- uh, just to see, if it’s different, and- uh.”

     “Sure,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. 

     “Okay,” she says quickly.

     “Okay,” I agree. 

     “Should I- should we- uh stand?” She bumbles, looking worried.

     “Don’t be so nervous,” I say, sitting up so we’re facing each other, running a hand down her arm until she catches my hand in her own. 

     “I haven’t snogged anyone since I broke up with Alex,” she tells me.

     “Who said anything about a snog? I was just looking for an innocent little peck-”

     “I didn’t mean-” she says, cutting me off. 

     “Perrie, I’m kidding,” I say with a laugh. “Lighten up, alright? It’s just me.”

     “Right. Yeah, okay,” she says. “I’m nervous.”

     “I can tell,” I say, trying not to laugh. I expect a glare in return, but when she looks at me, she almost looks sad. 

     “Hey, Pezza, what’s wrong?” I ask, running the hand not entwined with hers along her face, rubbing my thumb along her jawbone. 

     “I just-” she starts, before leaning in quickly and pecking her lips against mine. 

     I’m expecting more, so when it doesn’t come I open my eyes. 

     “Is that all?” I ask cheekily. 

     She shakes her head, laughing at me a bit, before meeting my gaze. 

     “I thought it would be best to get the first one over with.”

     I want to respond with who said there’ll be another? or was it really that awful? but Perrie is nervous enough as is. 

     So instead, I move onto my knees, cup Perrie’s face with my hands, and move in slowly so she has the time to back away if she wants. I run my thumb over her bottom lip as I get closer, just once, before melding my lips to hers. 

     For a few seconds, nothing happens. It’s just my lips pressed against hers, soft and warm and slick. Just as I’m about to pull away, she responds, moving her lips against mine before sucking my bottom lip into her mouth. 

     This kiss turns from sweet little pecks to being anything but sweet pretty quickly after that, with teeth tugging lips and tongues in mouths and trying to get closer, closer, closer

     Before I can think about what exactly I’m doing, my lips attach themselves to Perrie’s neck, placing sloppy kisses all around until I find a spot just under her ear that makes her keen, makes her buck up into me. I bite at the spot gently, laving my tongue over the imprints I leave before I set about sucking the delicate skin there, knowing I’ll leave a mark. 

     When I nip at it again Perrie squeals, placing her hands firmly on my bum and pulling me forward so that I’m straddling her now. I expect her to move her hands once she has me where she wants me, but they remain cupped around my bum. 

     “Cheeky,” I say, a little breathless. Before I can continue my assaut on her neck, she squeezes me, and I let out a little pant. 

     She laughs before reattaching her lips to my own, continuing to knead my bum. I try and press myself more firmly into her hands, craving the contact, but I think it’s impossible for the two of us to get any closer. 

     We’ve toppled over on the bed by now, me practically lying on top of her, my legs straddling her hips and my elbows propped on the bed just below her head so that I can keep hold of her pretty little face as I kiss her. 

     Our kisses slow a little once we’ve laid down, becoming less frantic, though we remain tightly pressed together. 

     I pull back for a moment, just far enough to look at her. 

     “Is everything alright?” Perrie asks, eyes popping open when her lips are no longer covered by my own. 

     “Perfect,” I say, tracing a hand along her face before pressing a soft kiss to her lips, and then a quick peck to her nose. The way she smiles at me after makes my heart hurt, so I do it again, this time earning soft giggles as a reward. 

     “I like the little noises you make,” I tell her, before I can think better of it. It’s like my rational mind, the one that knows 3000 reasons why this is a bad idea, shut off for the night as soon as her lips met mine. 

     Something flashes in her eyes as she smiles back at me. “Well, I-”

     “We’ve got snacks!” Leigh yells, barging in the door. 

     I roll off of Perrie as quickly as I can. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how close we were to the edge of the bed, so I end up rolling off of that as well and landing with a thunk on the floor. 

     “Ow, shit,” I mumble, sitting up to rub my sore elbow. 

     “What are you doing down there?” Leigh asks, looking confused.

     “You startled me,” is all I say, knowing that I’m crap at lying so I better just stick with vague truths. 

     Perrie’s trying and failing to cover up her laughter at this point, and I shoot her a glare. 

     “Sorry,” she says, looking anything but, and I glare at her before making my way back onto the bed. I want to tackle her onto the bed and kiss the hell out of her, tease her properly for laughing at me.  I decide that this is probably not the best course of action, what with Leigh and Jade being here, so for now I settle for hopping up off the floor and getting back onto the bed. 

     “So, are we ready for a movie?” Jade asks, settling onto the other bed in the room. Leigh follows her, but not before tossing a box of Jaffa cakes and some Cheeze-it’s toward me and Pez.

     “How did you get these?” Perrie asks, excitedly shaking the box of Jaffa’s. 

     “Yeah, did you smuggle them in?” I ask. They don’t sell Jaffa cakes in America, and as such I haven’t seen one in about 3 months. 

     “Claud’s been hiding them in his case this whole trip,” Jade says with a mischievous smile. “And tonight, he lost a bet.”

     “Well his loss is our gain!” Perrie says, already ripping open the box. Or well, trying to rip open the box. 

     “I can’t get it,” she whines at me, pouting. I take hold of the box she’s pointing at me, quickly ripping of the cardboard tab and freeing the goodies inside. 

     “Yay!” she says, throwing her arms around me in a hug. I return it with a giggle, craving the feel of Perrie against me, even in this (mostly) platonic way. 

     “Alright you two, break it up,” Jade says jokingly. “We need to pick a film!” 

     “Fill-um,” Leigh repeats, mocking Jade’s accent. “It’s the one word I can’t get over.” 

     Jade just rolls her eyes. “You’d think, after nearly 8 years, you’d-”

     “I know, I know, forget it,” Leigh says waving her hand. “Now, what are we watching?”

     We quickly decide on Easy A , ‘cos it’s a classic, and snuggle into our respective beds and set about shoving our faces with snacks. It’s our last three days in America, so none of us can be arsed to keep up with the strict diet we’ve stuck to throughout tour. We’ve finished our last show, and now’s the time to relax. 

     I try to focus on the movie, I really do, but there’s one question I need the answer to first. 

     “Pezza,” I say quietly, not wanting to alert Leigh and Jade. 

     “Yeah?” she answers sweetly, directing her attention at me instead of the TV. “Y’alright?”

     “Yeah, fine,” I say with a smile. She’s so close that I can’t help but peck a soft kiss to her cheek, quickly, so that the other girls don’t notice. 

     She smiles at me, big and bright and happy, her little dimple popping out. I want to kiss her again, right on the dimple, but I refrain ‘cos I don’t want to be caught. 

     “What’s up, then?” She asks, still smiling, knowing she’s the reason I’ve become distracted. 

     “When you put your hand on my bum earlier, was it really an accident?”

     She laughs, easily playing it off to Jade and Leigh as if she’s laughing at the movie, before shooting me a small smile. 

     She doesn’t say anything right away, but soon enough I feel a hand ghosting over my thigh, coming to rest on my bum once again, her fingers playing with the edge of the soft fabric.

     She winks at me before turning her head back towards the TV, giving my bum a squeeze. 

     She still hasn’t moved her hand by the time I drift off to sleep, a movie and a half later.  

     I guess I have my answer. 



Chapter Text

“Motherfucker!” I yell, accidentally banging my head against the headboard. “Ouch.”

I hear the quick patter of feet followed by a banging on the door of our adjoining rooms.

“Pezza, you alright?” Jesy asks, voice full of concern.

“Uh, yeah, fine,” I say, my whole body flushing. I quickly shimmy back into my underwear and pray that Jesy won’t be able to tell exactly what I’ve been doing for the last 20 minutes.

Or, what I’ve been trying to do.

“Are you coming?” She asks, clearly tired of waiting at the door.

I wish.

“Yeah, sorry, I just hit my head,” I say, heading for the door and opening it up. “What’s up?”

“I just heard you yelling, and wanted to make sure you were alright. Thought maybe you were having a nightmare or something, it sounded like you were thrashing about,” She says.

I can feel my cheeks redden. “Ah, no. Just restless,” I say, unable to meet her gaze.

“Alright then,” she says, bringing a hand up to wipe at her eyes. For the first time, I notice how sleepy she looks.

“I’m sorry babe, did I wake you?” I ask.

“It’s alright, I wasn’t sleeping very well anyway,” she lies, trying to hide her yawn.

“Aw, Jes,” I say, mad at myself. “I’m so sorry, I guess I didn’t realize how late it was.”

“S’alright,” she says, sounding a little more Essex than she usually does. “I was just worried about you, is all. Your scream was quite loud, and then I heard a thump- what made you so mad, anyway?”

“Umm, a book,” I say, obviously lying. “The character just made a really stupid decision, is all.”

“Alright,” she says, clearly not believing me. “What’d he do?”

“Umm…” I say, cursing myself for being so slow. Think, Perrie. Think!

“Pezza, what’s really wrong?” Jesy asks, stroking my cheek.

“Just lonely,” I say, which is at least partially true, leaning into her touch more than I probably should.

“Aw, come here, babe,” she says, pulling me into a hug.

I try to keep my thoughts friendly, I swear, but I can’t help but notice how impossibly good her body feels pressed against mine. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so deprived, or just because Jesy is- no, it’s because I’m deprived, I tell myself. You can’t think about Jesy- your best friend, Jesy-like that.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?” She whispers, lips buzzing against my ear.

I know she’s just being friendly, but this is killing me.

“If you don’t mind,” I say, trying not to let my desperation leak into my voice.

“Course I don’t mind,” she says, pulling back to give me a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s get in bed, yeah? I’m quite tired, if I’m honest.

“Yeah, course,” I say with a smile. “Thanks Jes.”

She just smiles sleepily before dragging me into the bed.

That little sideways smile does nothing to quell my rampant sexual frustration, which only seems to be growing. Half of me wants to kick Jes out and get back to fingering myself, but the other half of me knows that I won’t be able to finish anway. I let out a frustrated groan, burying my face in my pillow. I feel Jesy's arms come up around me, and try to squeeze my thighs together to relieve some of the pressure that’s only building, but just as I do, her thigh nudges it’s way between my own, forcing them apart. I grind down on it without giving myself permission to, and I immediately feel bad for being so pervy towards my friend.

“Pez, is there something you’re not telling me?” Jes asks, lips so very close to my ear, and at this point I can’t help but wonder if she’s purposely trying to rile me up. “What’s really wrong?”

“I’m lonely,” I huff out. And sexually frustrated, I want to add.

“What?” She asks, suddenly sounding very awake.

Never have I wished more for the ground to swallow me up, or a freak accident to take me out of my misery. “What?” I ask, hoping against hope that I didn’t say the last bit out loud.

“Did you just say what I think you said?” She asks, almost laughing.

“I hope not,” I say, wishing for death.

She just laughs. “Tour’ll do that to you,” she says, as if it’s no big deal. As if we talk about this kind of stuff all the time. And I guess we sort of do, but… talking about this is somehow more awkward than talking about actual sex. It feels more private. “Do you want me to leave so you can take care of it?”

“I can’t take care of it!” I say with a huff, before I can think better of it. I can feel Jesy shifting us so that we’re looking at one another, but I cover my eyes with my hands, too embarrassed to meet her gaze.

“Pez,” she says, pulling at my hands until I remove them from my face. Still, I keep my eyes squeezed tightly shut.

I hear her laugh before I feel her poke my nose, amused.

“It’s not funny,” I grumble, frowning.

“What’s not funny, babe? C’mon, I’m only trying to help,” she says, and I can tell she means it.

Slowly, I open my eyes.

“I can’t take care of it,” I say, sounding as desperate as I feel. “I can’t get off. I’ve tried everything. Porn, erotica- I’ve even facetimed with Alex twice this week, and I had to fake it both times. I know he knew the second time, bless him, but it’s not like there’s anything he could do. I can’t take this anymore,” I say, knowing I sound whiny but not caring.

Jes seems to think for a moment. “Have you thought about- hm.”

“Have I thought about what?” I ask, desperate.

“About letting someone else…” she asks.

“Who?” I ask, pretty sure I know the answer but hoping she’ll be the one to suggest it. It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time, she’s something I’ve wanted for a long time, even if I won’t always admit it.

“I mean, I could…?” She says, almost more of a question than a suggestion. “I-if you want. I am something of a sexpert, if I do say so myself,” she says with a wink.

“O-okay,” I say, surprising the both of us when I agree as quickly as I do.

“Okay,” she says, just as hesitantly. “Okay.”

She cranes her head, pressing a soft, experimental kiss to my lips. At first, I don’t quite know how to respond, but the minute her tongue brushes against my bottom lip, I can’t help but moan.

She pulls back, looking nervous. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” I say, my voice already having gone throaty.

This time, our lips meet in the middle.

There’s nothing tentative about this second kiss, nothing shy. When she bites my bottom lip I pull her close to me, pulling her leg over mine so she straddles me.

She lets out a moan so quiet that I almost don’t hear it when my hand accidentally brushes her breast, so I do it again.

She moans louder this time.

“This is supposed to be about you,” she says, though it doesn’t sound like she means it.

“I don’t mind it being about the both of us,” I say, flicking my tongue out to lick across her pulse point.

Her fingers grip me tighter, locked around my upper arm. It seems like she’s going to say something, but I don’t want that- I only want her mouth on mine. So, I crush her lips back to mine again, plunging my tongue into her mouth. I feel her moan around my tongue, which spurs on a moan of my own. My hands find their way under her tank top, scraping at the soft, taught skin there. I pull at her shirt with a whine, and she seems to get the message, quickly throwing it off.

I waste no time, immediately cupping her breasts in my hands, teasing the nipples with my thumbs. She bucks into me then, moaning, and I can’t help the satisifed little smile that works its way across my face.

I keep teasing her, enjoying her little noises far too much, my fingers rubbing harshly at each nipple before I pull back, barely ghosting my fingertips over them.

“Perrie,” she whines. It’s at this moment that I know I’m screwed, because I want nothing more than to hear her little moans, to be the cause of them, for the rest of my life.

I keep toying with her, kissing my way down her neck, across her collar bone, and onto the top of each breast. I dart out my tongue to lick ever so close to her right nipple, and she keens, pulling my head down.

“Please,” she begs, and I’m all too happy to oblige. I take her nipple into my mouth, nipping at it before laving my tongue over it, sucking it into an impossibly stiff peak. I pull back with a pop, blowing air over her wet nipple ever so slowly, enjoying how it tightens.

“Ah, where, where did you learn that?” she asks, breathless.

“I have my ways,” I say, before promptly taking her other nipple into my mouth and giving it the same treatment.

Now is not the time for questions.

Jesy starts tugging at my shirt as I suck, and I’m all too happy to let her pull it off me. The feel of her skin pressed to mine is indescribable, and at the moment I’m wondering why we didn’t do this sooner.

While I’m busy wondering, Jesy is busy doing. She pins me down fast, hovering over me now, and begins kissing, licking, nibbling her way down my body.

I nearly scream when she teases little kisses around my nipple, but I’m silenced by her tongue giving it the tiniest kitten licks.

I’m mewling by the time she’s done with the first, and can’t help but wonder if anything has ever felt this good.

I want to yell when she stops, but the sloppy kisses she places close to my bellybutton are enough to silence me.

“Is this alright?” she asks, gaze boring into me as she slowly, slowly pulls my panties down my legs.

“Yes, please Jes,” I say, breathing heavy.

She smiles up at me, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, before she tears my panties off where they’re stuck at my ankle and wrenches my legs open, exposing me completely to her.

I swear I nearly come right then, my clit throbbing at the way she looks at me, like I’m her last meal.

“Want me to eat you out? Want me to tease you, lick you 'til you’re begging?” she asks, and I want to be surprised by the dirty things spilling from my best friend’s mouth, but I’m too busy being horny out my mind.

“Yes, Yes,” I say, wanting so badly for her to make me come.

“Well, alright then,” she says cheekily, before touching her soft, slick tongue to my slit.

I scream.

She’s undeterred, holding me open while she licks ever so slowly everywhere except exaclty where I want her too.

“Please,” I keen, nearly crying at the unfulfilled sensation.

Finally, she gives me what I want, ghosting the tip of her tongue across my clit before she starts licking with fervor.

I’m no longer in control of the noises I’m making, whimpering uselessly as she ravages me.

Just as I’m about to come, she pulls back, grinning up at me wickedly.

“Why’d you stop?” I whine, tears of frustration leaking out of my eyes. “I was so close, Jesy! Why’d you stop?”

“To make up for eight years of teasing,” she says, and before I have time to even process what she’s said she latches her lips onto my clit, sucking hard.

She keeps sucking, running her tongue this way and that until I explode, gripping my thighs shut around her head. She keeps tonguing me, sucking slowly in time with the pulses of my body until I’m begging for her to stop.

And so she does, resting her head against my thigh as I run a hand through her hair.

“That was…” is all I can say, blowing my hair out of my face. “Wow, Jes.”

She just smiles at me, pressing soft kisses to my thigh before I pull her up to me, and kiss her slowly.

I taste myself on her tongue, and I swear I’m nearly ready to go again.

It’s now that I realize Jes still has her panties on, and I task myself with immediately rectifying that problem.

I’m still a little boneless from my own orgasm, but I quickly flip our positions, pinning her under me, before I slip my fingers into her panties, quickly removing them. I waste no time, quickly slotting my thigh between her own. A moan slips from her mouth as I grab her ass, forcing her to grind down on top of me. I don’t know how much of my life has been spent looking at Jesy’s ass, but now that I get to touch it? I’m content to just squeeze it all night, feel it in my hands.

I rake my nails down and she shivers, bucking into me even harder, so I do it again. And again. And again, until she’s begging.

“Please, Perrie, touch me,” she cries, and I decide to play with her a bit.

“I am touching you, love,” I say innocently. Or, as innocently as I can with my hands on her ass, slowly creeping towards her pussy.

“Please,” she begs, clearly past the point of getting out anything more coherent. I spread her legs as far as they’ll go, kissing along her inner thighs, working my way toward her center slowly. The closer I get, the less chaste the kisses become, until it’s all just wet sucking and sloppy licks of the tongue.

She’s squirming by the time I finally touch my tongue to her, tasting her where she’s slick and wet.

“Are you always this wet, or just for me?” I ask, licking her with my flat tongue, once, before pulling her lips apart, exposing her aching clit. I blow across it, watch her shiver in pleasure, before tasting her clit with the faintest touch, teasing her just as she did me.

Perrie,” she cries, and it’s at this moment I realize I’ll do anything to hear her say my name like that.

“Yes?” I ask, cocky little shit that I am. I don’t know where exactly all this confidence has come from, but I’m enjoying teasing her more than I’ve ever enjoyed anything else.

“Are you waiting for this?” I ask, rubbing a finger over her swollen clit slowly.

She just moans, and I continue my teasing, back and forth, back and forth, before I replace my finger with my tongue, sneaking a hand up to tease at her nipple.

She makes a choking sound, and that’s all it takes for me to start licking as quickly as I can, almost roughly. She responds eagerly, so I take her clit between my lips, sucking harshly at the little bud, buzzing my lips against it until she comes, her thighs nearly choking me.

What a way to go, I think, giving her soft licks until she stops spasming and releases my head.

“Sorry,” she says breathily, running a gentle hand through my hair as I rest my head on her glorious thigh, just basking in it all, before I pull myself up closer to her.

“I’ve always wanted to be between your thighs,” I say truthfully, before placing a gentle kiss on her neck, her cheek, her lips. “Stay with me?”

“Of course,” she says, looking almost sad for a moment before she turns, lifting her hair off the pillow so I can snuggle in behind her.

I get as close to her as I can, wrapping my arms around her waist, pressing my breasts against her bare back, sneaking one of my legs between her own.

“Goodnight, Jes,” I whisper, placing a soft kiss behind her ear.

“Night, Pezza. Sweet dreams,” she says softly, giving my hands a squeeze where they’re wrapped around her.

What a night.