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The club was loud and crowded. Alec ordered another shot of tequila and grabbed a fresh piece of lime. It’s been going on for too long already. It was already a month since the breakup and he still couldn’t get his shit together. Magnus Bane was supposed to be the love of his life. The one and only. His true mate. But it turned out that Alec was wrong again. He wasn’t good enough for the extravagant warlock.

Another shot. Alec grimaced at the taste and the bitter memories that came with another dose of the alcohol. The first months of their relationship were hard but amazing. Magnus was amazing. He showed Alec that he didn’t have to be ashamed just because he was omega. He finally believed how strong he was. And Alec did his best to show Magnus how much he loved him and supported him no matter what. He defended the warlock. He was ready to fight anyone who dared to spread rumors or insult his boyfriend. It was amazing. And then he ruined it.

Alec ordered another shot and then closed his eyes when they started to fill with tears. He knew he was being pushy. He knew he was being insufferable. He knew that Magnus would finally have enough. And yet he continued to do that. He’d get upset because Magnus didn’t want to talk about his past, his past lovers. Now Alec knew how stupid it was. Why would he care how many lovers Magnus had? He was a few centuries old warlock, it was normal he had loved before! But it was too late.

He paid for the drinks. He was swaying on his feet, the alcohol cruising through his vein. He felt sick and he knew he’d end this day hunched over a toilet. But it wasn’t the end of the day yet. His phone rang again. Alec knew it was Jace or Izzy. His siblings were terribly worried about their brother but Alec couldn’t bring himself to care. So instead, he ignored the phone and moved to the dance floor.

Alec never liked dancing but right now he was too drunk and hurt to care. He needed to forget the pain. But he very quickly learned that it was not going to be that simple. Because after an hour or so he saw Magnus in the crowd. Alec wasn’t surprised. Magnus loved partying and Alec would be stupid to think he was important enough to make Magnus change the way of living. His heart stopped when their eyes met. Alec wanted to cry. He wanted to run to Magnus and apologize once again. But then he also saw her… Camille Belcourt. The woman who stole his man.

Magnus looked at him too. Alec didn’t find any longing in his eyes, though. Magnus pitied him, found him pathetic. Alec couldn’t take it. He approached a complete stranger and started making out with him. He didn’t feel any pleasure. He just wanted to hurt his ex-lover. But he never found out, if it worked.


He woke up at dawn with a pounding headache. He felt weight on his stomach and when he turned his head to the side, he saw a stranger laying next to him, his arm draped over Alec’s middle. Alec cursed under his breath and then as carefully as possible, he got up from the bed. The shadowhunter pulled on his clothes in a hurry.

“You’re leaving already? Why won’t you stay for breakfast?”

The man asked and Alec wanted to die. It was embarrassing enough that he didn’t remember spending the night with the stranger. Alec cleared his throat, putting his shirt on.

“No, thanks.”

“That’s a pity… a cute omega like you…”

“Would never even look at you when sober” he finished the sentence, his voice calm but dripping with venom at the same side.

The stranger shut up and Alec decided it was his cue to leave. The morning was cold and the wind made him feel even worse as Alec walked down the streets of New York. He made sure to put a glamour so no mundane would bother him. However, some downworlders were already awake too and Alec could see them staring and judging. It didn’t matter. He didn’t even have any respect left for his own person so why would he care?

He was aware how terrible he must’ve looked but it was his least problem. Magnus didn’t look devastated at all. Did Alec really mean nothing to him? It hurt more than a stab wound. To know that the love of his life didn’t really love him… Alec made it back to the Institute and headed to his room. He felt dirty. He didn’t know that guy and yet he spent the night with him. And what he did during that night… he sped up his pace.

He made it to the bathroom on time to throw up everything he drank last night. It was disgusting. He couldn’t believe he did it. How the hell did it happen? Just two months ago he was full of rules and respect. Full of dreams and passion. And now? He went to the club just to make sure his ex saw him with other people, even though he knew that Magnus didn’t give a single damn about him anymore. Alec flushed the toilet and then sat on the tiles, crying his eyes out.

It was Jace who found him two hours later. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged his brother and kept him in his arms until Alec finally calmed down.

“I’m going to disembowel that son of a bitch” he growled, rubbing Alec’s back with his hand.

“N-no… It’s… it’s not his fault. Jace, please.”

“Shh… it’ll be fine, Alec. I’m here for you, bro.”

Alec sobbed again and Jace promised himself to make Magnus pay for hurting his brother. He still didn’t know all the facts and details but it didn’t matter. No one could make Alec cry and walk away alive.


The next two weeks were rough. Alec was sick and dead to the world. He still made sure all the paperwork was done on time but he couldn’t go to the patrols anymore. The constant dizziness and nausea made him too weak to get out of bed. Alec didn’t even try to protest and that worried everyone the most. Jace feared that Alec’s depression would worsen but this? He couldn’t do it alone so he asked Izzy and Clary for help.

The girls clearly tried but Alec didn’t even talk to them. What was the point? What would he say? That he fucked up? That his life was meaningless without Magnus? It was obvious and everybody already knew that. Lucky for him, Izzy nor Clary were stupid enough to force him to talk. His sister just sat by his side, caressing his hair and Clary brewed every type of tea they had in the Institute. It wasn’t productive nor very helpful but at least they kept an eye on Alec and it was enough to calm them down at least a bit. However, Alec was still sick. At first Izzy thought it was a stomach bug or a nasty hangover. But after two weeks…

“Alec, I need you to do this” Izzy said, putting a little box on his pillow.

Alec eyed the box and then frowned. He just finished throwing up and he was totally spent. He didn’t want to do anything more but when he saw what Izzy brought. Oh by the angel. His heart started beating faster and Alec shook his head.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Izzy!” he snapped, glaring at her.

Izzy slammed her hand on the bedside table and then returned the glare.

“I am not! You are the only ridiculous person here, Alec! I know that you are hurting but for fuck’s sake, open your eyes! You are not fine!”

“No, I’m not fine!” he shouted. Alec knew he was overreacting but he just couldn’t help it. His bottom lip trembled and he took a shaky breath. “I… I’m not fine. And I will never be.”

Izzy put her hand on top of Alec’s and caressed it gently. She never loved like Alec did so she didn’t really know how painful it was to lose someone beloved. But she loved her brother. She loved him with everything she got.

“Alec… I know it’s very hard. I know you still think about Magnus but… you must think about yourself, big brother. You’ve been sick for too long. It’s… it’s either this or something serious. So… please?”

Something serious? Alec blinked. THAT would be the most serious thing. At least a lethal disease would put him out of misery which Alec would very deeply appreciate. But this thing… no.

“I don’t need it. I know that I’m not…”

“When was your last heat?” she interrupted him. “It was supposed to start a week ago, wasn’t it?” she raised her brow. “And you… you smell sweeter, Alec.”

The omega looked at the box. Izzy could be right. His heat didn’t come but it must’ve been the stress! Yes, he was just stressed. He was totally fine. He wasn’t… he couldn’t…

“Alec, please. Don’t be afraid. I’m here.”

She smiled, squeezing his hand. Alec didn’t want to do this but he knew that Izzy wouldn’t leave him alone then so he didn’t really have any choice. Alec heaved a deep sigh and then grabbed the box. He read the instructions, his hands shaking so much that he could barely read the tiny letters. But he found the most important information. Pee on the stick. Seemed quite easy.

Alec left the bathroom a few minutes later. He didn’t dare to look at the stick so he put it on the bed and then sat on the floor. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t nervous. If the result was positive then it would explain almost everything and Alec truly hated how the symptoms matched the “issue”. But then again, it was definitely impossible. He took pills. There was no reason to be this stressed. Alec glanced at his sister and Izzy nodded her head. She took the stick.

“Are you ready?”

“Whatever. I already know what it’ll say. There’s no way I’m…”

She showed him the stick. Two red lines. Alec’s heart stopped. No. No, it couldn’t be true! 

He was pregnant. But who was the father?