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Goro Akechi Personally Murdered my dog, keyed my car and pissed on my wife.

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Today 12:15 PM

Ryuji: every single time akechi sends a message in our phantom thieves group chat 10 years get taken off my lifespan


Akira: Brb, I’m going to run the numbers on that.


Haru: Don’t you mean our “Thantom Phieves” group chat? Hehehehe


Ann: AAAAA I still can’t believe we actually kept that as our name when we added him.


Futaba: I mean it used to be worse.


Futaba: My fave was Okumura’s palace


Ryuji: ah yes, back when it was “let’s MCFREAKIN’ lose it”




Futaba: Honorary mention to the gc's name during my own palace...."The sequel to Yu-gi-oh nobody was expecting"


Futaba: p r i c e l e s s


Haru: I still don’t get that


Ann: Yugioh was this anime card game thing in the 90's that got super popular 


Haru: No, of course, I know what Yu-gi-oh is Ann. I'm a cultured woman. 


Haru: I meant my father's palace, Big Bang Burger's nothing like mcdonalds.


Ryuji: hmmmmmmmmmm m m m m 


Ann: I mean big bang burger’s like…..low key mcdonalds by now.


Haru: how dare you….


Haru: We have much better theming


Ryuji: space SPACE space space space


Haru: Yeah, basically. Space and horse meat.


Ryuji: space horse.


Ann: Speaking of things that aren’t real.


Ann: Back to Akechi.


Futaba: psh, mood.


Ann: It’s like. We KNOW you’re a fake goro. Just expose yourself already and save us all the time and trouble.


Haru: You know, sometimes, I kind of wish he was actually a genuine new member. I wanna throw another party.


Ryuji: What, are we renting out six flags this time?


Haru: Ryuji.


Haru: Six flags?


Haru: I thought you were a man of taste.


Haru: In this household we love, stan and support destinyland.


Ryuji: o fuck u right.


Ann: Does six flags even have a mascot?


Ryuji: Idk I’ve never been.


Haru: You’ve never been to six flags?


Ann: It’s like…. Disney world if you sucked out all the creativity. But they sell deep fried twinkies so boo yah baby.


Haru: Huh, that’s a very apt description of it, yeah.


Haru: Just out of curiosity Ann, how many times has six flags disappointed you personally?


Ann: It’s like …..I’ve been to so many of them all across the world and they all make me wish I just stayed home and stared at the ceiling.


Akira: hey Ryuji according to your own joke, you’d be -30. You’ve got -30 years to live.


Ann: I want y’all to know I looked behind me to glare at him appropriately for making such a stupid joke but then I looked at his desk and I noticed that he dead ass pulled out his calculator to do the math on this.


Ann: He didn’t even do it on his phone. He pulled out an actual scientific calculator and just.


Ann: Added it all up.


Akira: jeez Ann how else was I supposed to do it? It was very complicated math


Ann: I’m quitting the thantom phieves bye.


Ryuji: I’m so tired.


Ryuji: Look what you’re doing to me Akira.


Ryuji: You’re killing me. You’re killing your best friend.


Akira: No, that bastard Akechi’s the one who’s killing you by sending so many text messages. 


Akira: I could never hurt u, ur my bro bro


Ryuji: Bro :,D


Futaba: You know sometimes I wish Akechi could see our group chat history. Could you imagine his reaction if he could see all the shit we had in there before we added him?


Ryuji: Oh yeah like all of Akira’s god awful old man memes


Akira: I still send those here.


Futaba: I meant more along the lines of u and akira’s homoerotic tendencies but yeah those react pics were pretty bad too.






Ryuji: please die????


Akira: Yeah I got u.


Akira: Lemme just tell Akechi where I’m at rn, maybe he’s willing to off me early.


Ryuji: mmmmmmmmm


Akira: Too far again?


Futaba: yea




Ryuji: And just like that I’m back to hating you, I’ll call him myself.


Akira: Finally, death’s sweet embrace.


Futaba: I think Sojiro'd be capable of sending more relevant memes.


Futaba: No but fr, I’m so fucking nervous about this.


Akira: Futaba watch ur fucking mouth what would bean father say about this.


Futaba: #letmesayfuck




Futaba: No but stfu for five seconds.


Futaba: I mean it, what if something happens to u


Akira: Oh please, as if Akechi could kill me. He’s a punk ass bitch.




Futaba: Actually. Is he really a PUNK ass bitch?





Futaba: A punk is a rebel, someone who doesn’t follow the rules. And you know, Akechi’s basically Shido’s little bitch baby so like. No way he’s a punk.


Ryuji: Omg ur right tho.


Ryuji: He’s a bitch ass bitch.


Akira: bitch^2


Makoto: Hey, l love you guys but literally shut the fuck up.


Futaba: gasp


Makoto: We’re in the middle of class and if I get called out for my phone’s incessant buzzing I’m dragging you each to your own individual layer of hell.


Futaba: Oh right lmfao you guys do that.


Futaba: School.




Ryuji: akira?????? wow I can’t believe akira has his own puppet show.  


Makoto: RYUJI.






Goro Akechi


Today 1:00 PM

Akira: Yo Akechi


 Today 2:02 PM

Akira: Oh shit do you actually pay attention in class? Nice


 Today 3:30 PM

Akechi: Hello Akira! Yes, unfortunately, I do keep my phone put away while I’m in class but I was just dismissed. Can I help you?


Akira: oh god, consistent proper grammar.


Akira: U text like Makoto but worse.


Akechi: Oh well…I’m sorry?


Akira: Nah, it’s cool.


Akira: Anyway, I wanna hang out, are you free?


Akechi: Well, I did have to set some time set aside for my studies before I head to the police station tonight…Maybe another time?


Akira: Nah, it’s cool I’ll study with you.


Akechi: Akira, it seems you have forgotten I’m a year above you….I’m flattered you want to hang out though! But I think another time would be best.


Akira: Do you like ihop


Akira: we could study at ihop


Akira: I have a coupon


Akechi: ….


Akechi: What kind of coupon?


Akira: 20% off the entire meal.


Akechi: I’ll meet you at Leblanc and we’ll catch the subway from there.