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Goro Akechi Personally Murdered my dog, keyed my car and pissed on my wife.

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GORO AKECHI IS A PUNK ASS BITCH

 

Today 12:15 PM

Ryuji: every single time akechi sends a message in our phantom thieves group chat 10 years get taken off my lifespan

 

Akira: Brb, I’m going to run the numbers on that.

 

Haru: Don’t you mean our “Thantom Phieves” group chat? Hehehehe

 

Ann: AAAAA I still can’t believe we actually kept that as our name when we added him.

 

Futaba: I mean it used to be worse.

 

Futaba: My fave was Okumura’s palace

 

Ryuji: ah yes, back when it was “let’s MCFREAKIN’ lose it”

 

Futaba: GET OUTTA YOUR MINDS.

 

Futaba: Honorary mention to the gc's name during my own palace...."The sequel to Yu-gi-oh nobody was expecting"

 

Futaba: p r i c e l e s s

 

Haru: I still don’t get that

 

Ann: Yugioh was this anime card game thing in the 90's that got super popular 

 

Haru: No, of course, I know what Yu-gi-oh is Ann. I'm a cultured woman. 

 

Haru: I meant my father's palace, Big Bang Burger's nothing like mcdonalds.

 

Ryuji: hmmmmmmmmmm m m m m 

 

Ann: I mean big bang burger’s like…..low key mcdonalds by now.

 

Haru: how dare you….

 

Haru: We have much better theming

 

Ryuji: space SPACE space space space

 

Haru: Yeah, basically. Space and horse meat.

 

Ryuji: space horse.

 

Ann: Speaking of things that aren’t real.

 

Ann: Back to Akechi.

 

Futaba: psh, mood.

 

Ann: It’s like. We KNOW you’re a fake goro. Just expose yourself already and save us all the time and trouble.

 

Haru: You know, sometimes, I kind of wish he was actually a genuine new member. I wanna throw another party.

 

Ryuji: What, are we renting out six flags this time?

 

Haru: Ryuji.

 

Haru: Six flags?

 

Haru: I thought you were a man of taste.

 

Haru: In this household we love, stan and support destinyland.

 

Ryuji: o fuck u right.

 

Ann: Does six flags even have a mascot?

 

Ryuji: Idk I’ve never been.

 

Haru: You’ve never been to six flags?

 

Ann: It’s like…. Disney world if you sucked out all the creativity. But they sell deep fried twinkies so boo yah baby.

 

Haru: Huh, that’s a very apt description of it, yeah.

 

Haru: Just out of curiosity Ann, how many times has six flags disappointed you personally?

 

Ann: It’s like …..I’ve been to so many of them all across the world and they all make me wish I just stayed home and stared at the ceiling.

 

Akira: hey Ryuji according to your own joke, you’d be -30. You’ve got -30 years to live.

 

Ann: I want y’all to know I looked behind me to glare at him appropriately for making such a stupid joke but then I looked at his desk and I noticed that he dead ass pulled out his calculator to do the math on this.

 

Ann: He didn’t even do it on his phone. He pulled out an actual scientific calculator and just.

 

Ann: Added it all up.

 

Akira: jeez Ann how else was I supposed to do it? It was very complicated math

 

Ann: I’m quitting the thantom phieves bye.

 

Ryuji: I’m so tired.

 

Ryuji: Look what you’re doing to me Akira.

 

Ryuji: You’re killing me. You’re killing your best friend.

 

Akira: No, that bastard Akechi’s the one who’s killing you by sending so many text messages. 

 

Akira: I could never hurt u, ur my bro bro

 

Ryuji: Bro :,D

 

Futaba: You know sometimes I wish Akechi could see our group chat history. Could you imagine his reaction if he could see all the shit we had in there before we added him?

 

Ryuji: Oh yeah like all of Akira’s god awful old man memes

 

Akira: I still send those here.

 

Futaba: I meant more along the lines of u and akira’s homoerotic tendencies but yeah those react pics were pretty bad too.

 

Akira:

 

Futaba: I Take IT ALL BACK THEY’RE PIECES OF ART.

 

Ryuji: please die????

 

Akira: Yeah I got u.

 

Akira: Lemme just tell Akechi where I’m at rn, maybe he’s willing to off me early.

 

Ryuji: mmmmmmmmm

 

Akira: Too far again?

 

Futaba: yea

 

Akira:

 

Ryuji: And just like that I’m back to hating you, I’ll call him myself.

 

Akira: Finally, death’s sweet embrace.

 

Futaba: I think Sojiro'd be capable of sending more relevant memes.

 

Futaba: No but fr, I’m so fucking nervous about this.

 

Akira: Futaba watch ur fucking mouth what would bean father say about this.

 

Futaba: #letmesayfuck

 

Akira: NO, I SHAN’T ALLOW IT

 

Futaba: No but stfu for five seconds.

 

Futaba: I mean it, what if something happens to u

 

Akira: Oh please, as if Akechi could kill me. He’s a punk ass bitch.

 

Ryuji: YOU BET YOUR ASS HE IS.

 

Futaba: Actually. Is he really a PUNK ass bitch?

 

Akira:

 

 

Futaba: A punk is a rebel, someone who doesn’t follow the rules. And you know, Akechi’s basically Shido’s little bitch baby so like. No way he’s a punk.

 

Ryuji: Omg ur right tho.

 

Ryuji: He’s a bitch ass bitch.

 

Akira: bitch^2

 

Makoto: Hey, l love you guys but literally shut the fuck up.

 

Futaba: gasp

 

Makoto: We’re in the middle of class and if I get called out for my phone’s incessant buzzing I’m dragging you each to your own individual layer of hell.

 

Futaba: Oh right lmfao you guys do that.

 

Futaba: School.

 

Futaba: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzpD6OogahQ

 

Ryuji: akira?????? wow I can’t believe akira has his own puppet show.  

 

Makoto: RYUJI.

 

Ryuji: I’M SORRY MOM.

 


 

 

Goro Akechi

 

Today 1:00 PM

Akira: Yo Akechi

 

 Today 2:02 PM

Akira: Oh shit do you actually pay attention in class? Nice

 

 Today 3:30 PM

Akechi: Hello Akira! Yes, unfortunately, I do keep my phone put away while I’m in class but I was just dismissed. Can I help you?

 

Akira: oh god, consistent proper grammar.

 

Akira: U text like Makoto but worse.

 

Akechi: Oh well…I’m sorry?

 

Akira: Nah, it’s cool.

 

Akira: Anyway, I wanna hang out, are you free?

 

Akechi: Well, I did have to set some time set aside for my studies before I head to the police station tonight…Maybe another time?

 

Akira: Nah, it’s cool I’ll study with you.

 

Akechi: Akira, it seems you have forgotten I’m a year above you….I’m flattered you want to hang out though! But I think another time would be best.

 

Akira: Do you like ihop

 

Akira: we could study at ihop

 

Akira: I have a coupon

 

Akechi: ….

 

Akechi: What kind of coupon?

 

Akira: 20% off the entire meal.

 

Akechi: I’ll meet you at Leblanc and we’ll catch the subway from there.

 

Akira: