GORO AKECHI IS A PUNK ASS BITCH
Today 12:15 PM
Ryuji: every single time akechi sends a message in our phantom thieves group chat 10 years get taken off my lifespan
Akira: Brb, I’m going to run the numbers on that.
Haru: Don’t you mean our “Thantom Phieves” group chat? Hehehehe
Ann: AAAAA I still can’t believe we actually kept that as our name when we added him.
Futaba: I mean it used to be worse.
Futaba: My fave was Okumura’s palace
Ryuji: ah yes, back when it was “let’s MCFREAKIN’ lose it”
Futaba: GET OUTTA YOUR MINDS.
Futaba: Honorary mention to the gc's name during my own palace...."The sequel to Yu-gi-oh nobody was expecting"
Futaba: p r i c e l e s s
Haru: I still don’t get that
Ann: Yugioh was this anime card game thing in the 90's that got super popular
Haru: No, of course, I know what Yu-gi-oh is Ann. I'm a cultured woman.
Haru: I meant my father's palace, Big Bang Burger's nothing like mcdonalds.
Ryuji: hmmmmmmmmmm m m m m
Ann: I mean big bang burger’s like…..low key mcdonalds by now.
Haru: how dare you….
Haru: We have much better theming
Ryuji: space SPACE space space space
Haru: Yeah, basically. Space and horse meat.
Ryuji: space horse.
Ann: Speaking of things that aren’t real.
Ann: Back to Akechi.
Futaba: psh, mood.
Ann: It’s like. We KNOW you’re a fake goro. Just expose yourself already and save us all the time and trouble.
Haru: You know, sometimes, I kind of wish he was actually a genuine new member. I wanna throw another party.
Ryuji: What, are we renting out six flags this time?
Haru: Six flags?
Haru: I thought you were a man of taste.
Haru: In this household we love, stan and support destinyland.
Ryuji: o fuck u right.
Ann: Does six flags even have a mascot?
Ryuji: Idk I’ve never been.
Haru: You’ve never been to six flags?
Ann: It’s like…. Disney world if you sucked out all the creativity. But they sell deep fried twinkies so boo yah baby.
Haru: Huh, that’s a very apt description of it, yeah.
Haru: Just out of curiosity Ann, how many times has six flags disappointed you personally?
Ann: It’s like …..I’ve been to so many of them all across the world and they all make me wish I just stayed home and stared at the ceiling.
Akira: hey Ryuji according to your own joke, you’d be -30. You’ve got -30 years to live.
Ann: I want y’all to know I looked behind me to glare at him appropriately for making such a stupid joke but then I looked at his desk and I noticed that he dead ass pulled out his calculator to do the math on this.
Ann: He didn’t even do it on his phone. He pulled out an actual scientific calculator and just.
Ann: Added it all up.
Akira: jeez Ann how else was I supposed to do it? It was very complicated math
Ann: I’m quitting the thantom phieves bye.
Ryuji: I’m so tired.
Ryuji: Look what you’re doing to me Akira.
Ryuji: You’re killing me. You’re killing your best friend.
Akira: No, that bastard Akechi’s the one who’s killing you by sending so many text messages.
Akira: I could never hurt u, ur my bro bro
Ryuji: Bro :,D
Futaba: You know sometimes I wish Akechi could see our group chat history. Could you imagine his reaction if he could see all the shit we had in there before we added him?
Ryuji: Oh yeah like all of Akira’s god awful old man memes
Akira: I still send those here.
Futaba: I meant more along the lines of u and akira’s homoerotic tendencies but yeah those react pics were pretty bad too.
Futaba: I Take IT ALL BACK THEY’RE PIECES OF ART.
Ryuji: please die????
Akira: Yeah I got u.
Akira: Lemme just tell Akechi where I’m at rn, maybe he’s willing to off me early.
Akira: Too far again?
Ryuji: And just like that I’m back to hating you, I’ll call him myself.
Akira: Finally, death’s sweet embrace.
Futaba: I think Sojiro'd be capable of sending more relevant memes.
Futaba: No but fr, I’m so fucking nervous about this.
Akira: Futaba watch ur fucking mouth what would bean father say about this.
Akira: NO, I SHAN’T ALLOW IT
Futaba: No but stfu for five seconds.
Futaba: I mean it, what if something happens to u
Akira: Oh please, as if Akechi could kill me. He’s a punk ass bitch.
Ryuji: YOU BET YOUR ASS HE IS.
Futaba: Actually. Is he really a PUNK ass bitch?
Futaba: A punk is a rebel, someone who doesn’t follow the rules. And you know, Akechi’s basically Shido’s little bitch baby so like. No way he’s a punk.
Ryuji: Omg ur right tho.
Ryuji: He’s a bitch ass bitch.
Makoto: Hey, l love you guys but literally shut the fuck up.
Makoto: We’re in the middle of class and if I get called out for my phone’s incessant buzzing I’m dragging you each to your own individual layer of hell.
Futaba: Oh right lmfao you guys do that.
Ryuji: akira?????? wow I can’t believe akira has his own puppet show.
Ryuji: I’M SORRY MOM.
Today 1:00 PM
Akira: Yo Akechi
Today 2:02 PM
Akira: Oh shit do you actually pay attention in class? Nice
Today 3:30 PM
Akechi: Hello Akira! Yes, unfortunately, I do keep my phone put away while I’m in class but I was just dismissed. Can I help you?
Akira: oh god, consistent proper grammar.
Akira: U text like Makoto but worse.
Akechi: Oh well…I’m sorry?
Akira: Nah, it’s cool.
Akira: Anyway, I wanna hang out, are you free?
Akechi: Well, I did have to set some time set aside for my studies before I head to the police station tonight…Maybe another time?
Akira: Nah, it’s cool I’ll study with you.
Akechi: Akira, it seems you have forgotten I’m a year above you….I’m flattered you want to hang out though! But I think another time would be best.
Akira: Do you like ihop
Akira: we could study at ihop
Akira: I have a coupon
Akechi: What kind of coupon?
Akira: 20% off the entire meal.
Akechi: I’ll meet you at Leblanc and we’ll catch the subway from there.