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I Love You

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It’s a Friday afternoon and for once, Seungmin and Felix aren’t frazzled over upcoming deadlines or lengthy assignments. It’s a quiet day for both of them, a reprieve from the busy week they’ve both just suffered through.

Seungmin is curled up on the couch, his favorite blanket (Felix’s comforter) wrapped around his shoulders and his worn, burgundy leather notebook resting in his lap.

It’s brighter in the room than Seungmin would normally prefer, the blinds drawn up to let in warm rays of sunlight.

Felix says he likes the way the natural light brings things to life better than stale artificial light. It encourages a different kind of creativity with the atmosphere it brings, warm and calm.

Seungmin was skeptical but after a while, he decides maybe Felix is on to something.

With the soft music playing in the background, the peaceful feeling of being relaxed in their dorm, sharing the same space comfortably, golden light spilling over them both, Seungmin feels good . He feels content.

This feels like a moment that he could live in forever, writing embarrassingly lovey dovey poems while he listens to Felix hum along with the song playing, his brush rasping quietly against the canvas. The words he writes flow out of him easily, filling page after page with rose tinged words.

After a good while of writing, he finds his eyes straying from his notebook to where Felix sits on his stool, lip caught between his teeth and his head cocked as he concentrates on what his painting needs. He’s also got peach colored paint smudged on his jaw, gold on his hands, and pastel green on his forearms.

He’s messy, but beautiful as always.

Seungmin secretly admires that about him, his ability to do everything with his own special grace, turning everything he touches into something special and worthwhile.

(The greatest example is Seungmin himself. When they first met, Seungmin was introverted and lonely, but as their friendship grew, he felt himself blossoming in Felix’s presence, growing warmer and happier.)

Seungmin didn’t even realize how much he’d been staring until Felix glances up at him, his lips quirking up into a smile reflexively as soon as their gazes meet.

“Stuck?” He asks with a tone of empathy, swirling his paintbrush in cloudy water to clean it.

Seungmin feels the tips of his ears go pink.

No, I just got distracted by you.

“Uh, yeah.” He lies, looking down at his own careful script, little vines and flowers doodled around the margins.

The poem he had been writing was about how everything was more beautiful when in love. It's something he’ll keep tucked away in the box under his bed, so no one will ever see how much of a sap he really is.

“Mm, you’ve been at it for a while. Take a break!” Felix suggest, blowing a stray strand of blonde hair out of his face. He’s caught on that he’s got wet paint on his hands and can’t brush his hair back, lest he cover himself in more paint.

“I think I will.” Seungmin nods slightly and sets his pencil down in the center of the two pages, marking where he’s left off before closing the notebook and leaning his head against the back of the couch, watching as Felix pokes through acrylics for his tube of white, which he’s either run out of or lost.

“I know I just saw it!” Felix sighs to himself, eyes flitting around. He’s always losing things, no matter how hard he tries not to.

Seungmin eventually catches sight of it next to his cup of paintbrushes, hidden in plain sight.

“There, to your left, Lix.” He says, pointing to it and grinning slightly. Felix slaps his palm to his forehead and lets out a huge groan of annoyance.

“Looks like you need a break too. Or glasses.” Seungmin teases lightly, tapping the side of his own glasses perched high on his nose.

Felix sticks his tongue out at him.

“I’m almost done. It’s just missing something.” He whines, plucking the white paint and studying it between his finger way too intensely to just be reading the label.

“Come sit, it’ll come to you easier when you’re not trying so hard.” Seungmin says, patting the cushion next to him.

He sets his notebook to the side, out of Felix’s reach. Felix is naturally curious and normally Seungmin doesn’t mind, but it’s so painfully obvious that Seungmin is writing about him right now, so if he were to see his recent poems, Seungmin is sure he would melt into a puddle of pure embarrassment.

Felix pouts but sets the paint with the others where he’ll find it later, trudging over to Seungmin and flopping down onto the couch dramatically.

“How torturous it is to be an artist, a perfectionist.” He laments dramatically, leaning his head against Seungmin’s shoulder as he pretends to swoon.

“You’re painting fruit, Felix.” Seungmin deadpans.

Felix wiggles slightly at his side pointedly and Seungmin wraps an arm around his shoulders so Felix can settle comfortably against his side.

“Beautiful fruit! The most aesthetic fruit you will have ever laid eyes on. Once it’s finished.” He says, rubbing his cheek against Seungmin’s shoulder cutely as he looks up at him.

The fact that Felix is the most affectionate person he’s ever met is both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing because Seungmin loves it when Felix curls into his side, half asleep in the early mornings, when he hugs Seungmin hello and goodbye no matter who they’re around, stays by his side, clinging to his arm when they’re out with their friends.

Those things make Seungmin’s heart go all warm and gooey with love, though he’d never admit it aloud.

Now, the curse aspect comes from the fact that Seungmin is absolutely head over heels in love (yes, love) with Felix, and though the steady stream of affection makes his heart warm, it also makes him ache with want.

He wants to be with Felix, wants to hold his hand and kiss all of his freckles, wants to call him sweetheart and be intimate with him, but he’s too afraid to ruin what they have now. He hates how cliche that is but he’s living it nonetheless.

Seungmin pulls himself out of his thoughts when Felix trails his fingertip featherlight down the slope of his nose, grinning softly.

He only does that when he can tell Seungmin is thinking too much, when he goes quiet for too long.

The curse of a writer, you get lost in your head too easily.” Felix had told him once, his tone dripping with fondness. It’s embarrassingly true, Seungmin finds himself lost in his own thoughts more than he’d like to admit, sometimes in the middle of conversations, in the middle of lectures, but Felix is always patient with him, unoffended unlike other people are when dealing with his spacey-ness.

He brushes his fingers against Felix’s cheek in response.

“I’m sure it will be a masterpiece.” He says earnestly.

A lovely blush spreads across his freckles cheeks and he nuzzles into Seungmin’s shoulder to hide it.

He finds himself smiling at the sweetness of it.

Felix handles compliments terribly, always going pink and getting flustered, something their friends tease him about whenever they get the chance.

“You’re cute.” Seungmin hums before he can think better of it, unable to hide the affection in his voice.

“Shut up.” Felix groans half heartedly, lips pursed into a pout while curling the blanket around his shoulders. Seungmin giggles.

Felix peeks up at him, the lilac colored blanket drawn up under his chin, his brown doe eyes unbearably cute.

“I love you.” Seungmin thinks with a slight smile, eyes tracing over his features and the paint staining his skin.

“You’ve got paint on your face.” Seungmin says instead, thumbing softly at the peach colored smudge at his jaw, then letting his hand rest against Felix’s cheek.

Felix’s lashes flutter for a moment as he leans into his touch. “Ugh, that happens all the time. Sometimes I go a whole day without noticing, it’s embarrassing.”

“I kinda like it. It’s an artist’s mark.” Seungmin says earnestly. “Keeping getting paint on yourself and soon you’ll be a painting too.”

Felix tilts his head up almost imperceptibly, bringing his face a tiny bit closer to Seungmin’s.

Something about the way he’s looking up at Seungmin is making his skin warm, he’s probably even blushing right now.

“Life imitates art, right?” He says, his voice a little breathier than normal.

Maybe Felix is affected too?

Seungmin’s head feels a little foggy from the lack of space between them, so he can only manage a strangled hum in response.

He thinks maybe he should pull back and drop his hand, try to laugh off the tension between them right now before it’s too late, but he can’t make himself do it, not when Felix is leaning into his touch, pressing into his space, and looking at him like he’s just as in love as Seungmin is.

Could that be possible?

He blinks hard, trying to clear his head when Felix trails his fingers down his nose again, this time not stopping at the tip of his nose. His finger drifts down Seungmin’s lips, stroking across his lower lip softly.

Seungmin is pretty sure he’s stopped breathing. Maybe his heart stopped too, who knows. He’s too focused on the blonde in front of him to care.

“I can practically hear you thinking. Don’t worry so much Minnie. Just..kiss me?” Felix says softly, seeing right through Seungmin like he always does, his voice just above a whisper and his cheeks flushed. 

Seungmin doesn’t need to be told twice.

He grabs Felix’s hand, tangling their fingers together as he leans down carefully and he kisses him, their lips fitting together perfectly.

Felix melts into it sweetly, lips petal soft.

With his heart soaring in his chest, Seungmin kisses Felix like he’s always wanted to, slow and languid, savouring the softness of his lips, the soft sighs that he breathes between kisses, committing every second to memory. Felix lets go of Seungmin’s hand to slip his fingers into his chestnut brown hair, the pads of his fingers rubbing tenderly at his scalp.

This is definitely a moment Seungmin wants to live in forever, shrouded by light and Felix.

They’re both equally reluctant to pull away, their long kisses dissolving into short pecks before they pull back. Seungmin smiles when Felix presses one last kiss to his lips as he pulls back, giggling quietly.

“I think now would be a good time to tell you that I like you. A lot.” Felix says a little breathlessly, lips pink and smiling still. Seungmin resists the urge to kiss him again.

“I sure hope you do, considering the way you were kissing me two seconds ago.” Seungmin says with a smug grin, laughing a bit when Felix slaps his hand against Seungmin chest lightly.

“I take it back, goodbye-“ Felix starts with faux seriousness, going to stand up but Seungmin tugs him down again, this time into his lap.

“Too late, you already said it! No take backs!” He laughs as he curls his arm around Felix’s waist, nuzzling at the side of his neck affectionately. Felix giggles, a little ticklish there. Seungmin tucks that bit of information away in his mind under “Cute Things About Felix”.

“Alright, fine fine!” He says through a grin, squirming away when Seungmin nips lightly at his skin. He presses a kiss there after.

“Lix, I like you too. So much.” He says earnestly, much softer now. Felix turns slightly so he can look up at Seungmin, a soft smile on his face.

“So..does that mean we’re dating?” He asks, a little shyer than before. Seungmin kisses his temple.

“Definitely dating.”

Felix smiles as warm as the sun’s golden rays with eyes just as bright, and Seungmin feels filled to the brim with love because of it.

I love you.”  Seungmin thinks, hugging him snuggly, fingers tangling together again.

Felix leans up to brush a kiss to Seungmin’s cheek, simply because he can.

“I love you, too” Felix says.