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Hell's Already Here

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Lucifer was on his knees. Not to pray, obviously, and not of his own choice. To be honest, he really, really despised this position – not only because of his Father, but because of the vulnerability of it.

Vulnerable. Him. Ha, good one.

“Stop twitching,” said the tall, blonde guy. Yup, the same one who forced him into this position, gagged him, and now was staring daggers at him. What a nice person.

Still, Lucifer hated to admit, he was vulnerable right now. He had no idea what was in the metal that the chains were made of, but he couldn’t break them. And, for the love of Dad, he had been trying.

“Dean,” even taller – now, now, what were they eating? – man stepped into the basement-like room. “Is it him?”

“Yeah,” Dean grunted. Lucifer was reminded of a caveman and he just had to smirk. “New vessel, it seems.”

Vessel? Whatever did that mean? Also, it would be really nice to know what “him” he was supposed to be, and where he was, and everything else, really, like who these men were, too. Lucifer didn’t remember much from previous night. Only that he had been drinking, then gone to sleep--- and now he was here. Not sleeping. And not drinking, what a shame.

“Okay. Okay, so. We have him, and he, he was right about Chuck.” The taller man seemed nervous. He was looking at everything in the room except for Lucifer. “I know you don’t approve, but we need him. Especially since apparently Nick’s ritual worked—I mean, he’s here. And Jack’s…” The man stopped abruptly and looked down. “Y’know.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” Dean walked right to Lucifer and yanked down the gag. “Listen here, pal. Either you help us and tell us how to kill God, or you’re welcome to walk your ass back down to the Cage since Death can’t hold you. Capisce?

Lucifer couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“Really? You want me to help you kill dear old Dad?” The Devil was smiling widely. That was just hilarious. “As if I knew where to find Him! He answered my prayer once and that was it!”

“You prayed.” Dean was staring at him blankly.

“Well, I did just say that, thank you very much. Congratulations on your hearing, though,” Lucifer said overly sweetly. “May I know now, what is going on and who the bloody hell are you?”

“You don’t know us.” Now the man was frowning. “Sammy, is it possible that Rowena’s spell didn’t work and it’s not him?”

Sam took a step forward and cleared his throat loudly. “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Seeing as you were the ones to kidnap me, I think it’d be only fair if you introduced yourselves first.”

“He’s just toying with us.” Dean went to the wall where was a nice collection of various weapons and returned with a long, silver blade in his hand. “Aren’t you? Is it funny to you?”

“Ooh.” Lucifer took his time to look around properly. Weapons, chains… was it some kind of a… torture chamber? “What a lovely place you got here. Is it a sex dungeon? The chains aren’t in anymore, though. Have you considered silk?”

“You’re right.” Sam shook his head. “Maybe he’s biding his time. But why?”

“I don’t care why.” The blade went straight through Lucifer’s leg and the Devil took a sharp breath of shock in when it actually hurt. A lot. Was the Detective around somewhere?! “I just need answers. Your. Name.” Dean looked straight into Lucifer’s eyes. “What is it.”

“Where is she?” Lucifer felt hot anger in his chest. It was different when it was just about him. But when the Detective was concerned… “If you hurt her, you’re going to regret that.”

“We don’t have any “her”. And don’t tell me we’re about to have another Nephilim on our hands.” Dean’s jaw tightened. “Keep it in your pants, okay?”

They knew about Amenadiel’s son? At least Chloe wasn’t in danger and they didn’t know about her. That was a much needed relief— that prompted Lucifer to relax even with a silver dagger stuck deep in his thigh. And sure, that hurt like a son of a bitch, but it also wasn’t something he couldn’t endure. Even while wondering why it hurt him when he wasn’t in Chloe’s presence.

“I do have to admit, I don’t enjoy this form of penetration,” he said as smoothly as he could with the pain shooting up his leg in waves. The look on Dean’s face was worth it, though. “As for my name, it’s Lucifer Morningstar, at your service. Well. Maybe not at your service. Wouldn’t want you to actually take me up on that offer.”

“Lucifer doesn’t talk like that,” Dean snapped, eyes hard. “What are you?”

“I told you already!” Lucifer seemed offended. “And to think I congratulated you on your hearing! Surely it’s gone wrong since then.”

“I don’t have time for this. If you’re really the Devil, prove it.”

“You. Kidnapped. Me. Why do I have to do all the work? And fine, as long as you take the dagger out. Or actually don’t. I think you punctured my vein,” Lucifer added, looking alarmed. “Do you want to see my de—” before he could finish his sentence, Dean yanked the blade out, “..dee—really?! What did I saaaaay?!”

“Dean,” Sam spoke up, frowning. He was watching both of them with a I’m-solving-a-math-equation look. “Do you remember the- the alternate universe we were in, with the other Michael, and dead Lucifer? And what Chuck said about parallel words?”

“I do, and?”

“And I think this Lucifer is not… well, is not our Lucifer.”

No, thought Lucifer. This look on Dean’s face was truly worth it.