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These Kids Are Going to be Pro-Heroes One Day

Chapter Text

#1: shitty deku broke his bones again

Alkaline: kami you owe me 500 yen

Pikachu: ashido im in debt

Alkaline: commit tax fraud

Iida Tenya: Please do not.

Alkaline: y’all hear sumthn?

Fuck: nah

School Supplies: negative chief

Dwayne Johnson: nope

[Iida Tenya is typing]

Pikachu: nice going ashido

Alkaline: shit

Iida Tenya: I am highly disappointed in your actions. As Class President it is my responsibility to maintain orderly conduct and establish heroic principles that will be implemented in all of our futures. Tax fraud is against both morality and the law, thus… [read more]

Fuck: my username is once again applicable

Iida Tenya: and Uraraka-san please change your username! It is unprofessional and unbecoming of a 1-A student!

Allmightfan1: Iida-kun remember that time when you committed vigilantism

School Supplies: he did what now

Iida Tenya: ....Point taken.

#1: Deku what the fuck get ur shitty ass back to bed

Allmightfan1: sorry i drank the bone-hurting juice and now i have insomnia

Allmightfan1: oof ow my bones

Discount Aizawa: mood

Tsu: Bakugou, you would make an excellent mother.

#1: the FUCK did you say to me frog legs? You want to FUCKING GO?!

Tsu: Not really but I appreciate the invitation

Ojiro: yo its like 2 am and if you guys don’t stfu ill kick your asses so hard with my tail that you’ll taste fur

Alkaline: kinky

[Alkaline was temporarily kicked from the chat]

Ojiro: im coming for ur ass ashido

Pikachu: kinky

[Pikachu was temporarily kicked from the chat]

Ojiro: y’all done

Allmightfan1: yessir

Dwayne Johnson: that was so manly dude

Fuck: suddenly, i am no longer conscious

Tsu: understandable, have a nice day

Iida: I have elected to consider your advice and begin my nocturnal cycle.

Ojiro: Glad to see we’re all in agreement.

 

---

 

School Supplies: anyone forget that iida is an alleged vigilante now

School Supplies: because i have not

Chapter Text

Discount Aizawa: and so i’m sitting there, barbeque sauce on my tiddies

Fuck: DHKAHDFKHFNFKDN

Tsu: that doesn’t sound very hygienic

Dwayne Johnson: didn’t know you were into that but i support you dude

#1: brain bitch is off the shits again

no: ….....im interested

Discount Aizawa: ssshit

Discount Aizawa: wrong chat

Alkaline: WHO WAS IT FOR THEN

Discount Aizawa: I plead the fifth

#1: We’re in Japan dumbass

Allmightfan1: don’t be mean kacchan

#1: I’ll do whatever the fuck i want shitty nerd

Allmightfan1: :(

#1: eat shit and die

Allmightfan1: :((

Alkaline: oh no midoriya’s sad what have you done bakugou

Alkaline: go apologize to ur boyfriend before he breaks his bones again

#1: when i’m done with him he won’t have any more bones to break

Pikachu: kinky

Alkaline: ….he didn’t deny the boyfriend part

Alkaline: what does this mean

#1: don’t hurt your two brain cells thinking too hard about it

Ojiro: Kaminari….. What have we talked about.

Pikachu: forgive me father for i have sinned

Fuck: i’m agnostic can someone translate

Alkaline: “sorry daddy i’ve been bad”

Fuck: kinky

Ojiro: not you too

Allmightfan1: :)

Fuck: ??

Dwayne Johnson: bakubro brought midoriya soup

#1: shut the fuck up shitty hair

Dwayne Johnson: love you too bro

School Supplies: anyways sHINSOU WHY THE FUCK

School Supplies: ugh why yall get off topic so fast

Alkaline: plot dictates

Pikachu: cuz your like, our only god, dude

[Alkaline changed School Supplies username to GOD]

GOD: fair

Discount Aizawa: ...i still don’t gotta say shit

 

Private Conversation [shitty hair → bakubro]

Shitty hair: you wanna talk about it

Bakubro: no fuck off

Shitty hair: whipped :’)

Chapter Text

Tsundere: hey anyone have any headphones

Mom: Jirou… your quirk is literally…. Earjacks

Tsundere: so

Naked and afraid: please give her the headphones i can hear her emo music through the wall

Tsundere: its not emo

Naked and afraid: bet

Dwayne Johnson: woah am i tripping on ashido’s acid or are the cryptids in the chat actually engaging in conversation

Alkaline: that was ONE TIME

Dwayne Johnson: one time was enough

Alkaline: damn it rly be like that huh

Pikachu: Kirishima for once it’s not Ashido

Pikachu: and i’m mildly afriad

Dwayne Johnson: CRYPTID ROLL CALL

Tsundere: i’m not a cryptid

Mom: I am active in this chat!!

Alkaline: through stalking, maybe

Mom: Hey!!

No: I was summoned

#1: stfu with the emo shit you overgrown parrot

No: I’ll have you know that I’m half Californian Condor and have no genetic heritage even remotely close to that of a parrot

#1: Quiet, parrot.

Daddy issues: damn thats cold

Daddy issues: get it

Daddy issues: because my quirk is ice

Allmightfan1: >:(

Daddy issues: ...and fire but that’s irrelevant to my point

Allmightfan1: :)

Tentacool: how are those emoticons so intimidating

Kouda: ( ・ั﹏・ั)

Tentacool: not you Kouda you’re about as intimidating as a fly

Kouda: (✿◠‿◠)

Dwayne Johnson: two more wild 1-A cryptids appear!

Dwayne Johnson: @Sugar Daddy @Discount Aizawa @I CANNOT STOP TWINKLING
wyd

I CANNOT STOP TWINKLING: I AM TWINKLING!!!

Discount Aizawa: trying to sleep

Allmightfan1: you have insomnia

Discount Aizawa: emphasis on trying

Sugar Daddy: im baking cookies !!

Alkaline: >:0

[Alkaline has disconnected from the chat]

Sugar Daddy: oh no

[Pikachu and 5 others have disconnected from the chat]

Sugar Daddy: oh NO

Chapter Text

#1: and that’s how i convinced kirishima to eat 7 bowls of flaming chili

Pikachu: That’s… brutal man

No: so that’s why kiri was “hanging out” in the boys bathroom for 2 hours last week

Dwayne Johnson: THAT SHIT HURTED OK

No: I can imagine

Allmightfan1: suck it up Kirishima-kun that’s child’s play compared to what me and Kacchan did when we were kids

#1: deku

Dwayne Johnson: do tell me more, dearest midoriya-kun

Allmightfan1: to make a long story short, Kacchan is very VERY bad at the cinnamon challenge, and he can fit 3 eggs in his mouth without cracking them.

No: what happened with the 4th egg

Allmightfan1: do you really want to know

No: ….I can’t say I do

Alkaline: Hey why can I hear Explosions™ from across the dorms

Alkaline: oh that’s why

Allmightfan1: HEY KACCHAN

#1: WHAT shitty deku

Allmightfan1: bet you still can’t fit a 4th egg in ur mouth

#1: fucking WATCH ME nerd

[#1 and Allmightfan1 left the chat]

Mom: my “bakugou and midoriya are doing something stupid” senses are tingling

Alkaline: your senses are correct

Sugar Daddy: …. i was gonna use those eggs for cake mix

Sugar Daddy: guess i’ll die

Alkaline: press f to pay respects

Alkaline: f

Daddy issues: f

Pikachu: f

No: f

[Allmightfan1 joined the chat]

Allmightfan1: He……… he did it

Allmightfan1: 4 eggs….. In his mouth

Allmightfan1: without crushing them….

Pikachu: damn bro what that mouth do tho

Mom: can’t golden retrievers do that too

Alkaline: What would happen if he choked on one

Dwayne Johnson: and, in order, we have a Gryffindor, a Ravenclaw, and a Slytherin

Fuck: sounds fun

Dwayne Johnson: behold, our questionable Hufflepuff!

Allmightfan1: oh nO HE SWALLOWED ONE

Allmightfan1: CALL RECOVERY GIRL FAST

Alkaline: I am a prophet

Pikachu: why can’t you do it midoriya

Allmightfan1: she blocked me after i broke my knuckles for the 7th time

Mom: That’s what happens when you don’t look after your physical health, Midoriya-Kun

Allmightfan1: not you too momo

Allmightfan1: it was only 7 times

Allmightfan1: I’ve broken my shoulder at LEAST 2 times more

Mom: That doesn’t make me feel better at all

Tentacool: speaking of not feeling better

Tentacool: bakugou is still choking on an egg in the kitchen

Daddy issues: wow i can’t believe bakugou is dead

[#1 joined the chat]

#1: IM NOT DEAD DIPSHIT

Daddy issues: sometimes i can still hear his voice…..

Allmightfan1: update I just remembered we learned how to do the heimlich maneuver in class

Allmightfan1: Kacchan no longer has an egg stuck in his throat

Daddy issues: way to ruin the fun midoriya

Allmightfan1: i saved his life!

#1: you didn’t save SHIT nerd

#1: I had it under control

Allmightfan1: if you call almost passing out because you tried to fit 4 eggs in your mouth “under control”

Tsundere: for the record midoriya you were the one that encouraged him

Allmightfan1: details

[Iida Tenya is typing]

Allmightfan1: oh no

Tentacool: oh no

Tsundere: oh no

#1: ...ugh

[Allmightfan1 and 3 other people disconnected from the chat]

[Iida Tenya stopped typing]

Iida Tenya: Hey…. where’d everybody go…

Naked and afraid: away

Iida Tenya: At least you are here to listen to my concerns

Naked and Afraid: no im not

Iida Tenya: yes you are?

Naked and Afraid: nah, I’m invisible

[Naked and Afraid has disconnected from the chat]

Chapter Text

Allmightfan1: kouda, in theory, could you control humans

Kouda: ಠ_ಠ

Allmightfan1: could you control Nezu? Does he qualify as an animal? If so, what kind of animal is he, and on the chance that you can control him, can you control his quirk? Your quirk has a lot of applications and to use it to its full potential you should invest in figuring out your range in terms of species as well as geographical distance. You can understand what the animals are saying right? So your quirk could ideally be used for information-gathering and would make you a recon hero, which we absolutely don’t have enough of in the hero industry, which is a whole different story, but... [read more]

Kouda: (;´Д`)

Dwayne Johnson: Deku, you’re killing him

Allmightfan1: Kirishima!!! Does your hardening affect your nerves? In effect, are you generating an extra protective layer of skin, or are you shaping your existing skin to harden? Depending on the outcome, that would definitely have an impact on your pain tolerance, but the question is of whether its incredibly high or incredibly low! When you… [read more]

Dwayne Johnson: h...hhhh….

[Allmightfan1 is typing]

#1: Deku

[Allmightfan1 has stopped typing]

Allmightfan1: Yes Kacchan?

#1: Shut up

Allmightfan1: Yes Kacchan.

Tsu: I just had an out of body moment there

Ojiro: that was a religious experience

Dwayne Johnson: Amen…

Allmightfan1: I still want answers @Kouda @Dwayne Johnson

Kouda:

Dwayne Johnson:

[Kouda and Dwayne Johnson disconnected from the chat]

Allmightfan1: oh bummer their phones must have died

Pikachu: ..right

Pikachu: anyways, anyon down for some Super Smash Bros in the game room

#1: I will annihilate you all

Pikachu: I will take that as a yes

---
[3:04am]

Daddy Issues: do you ever consider the inevitability of death? Everything we do, our crusade to become heroes, will at some point disappear into history and we will be forgotten like our ancestors before us. By committing ourselves to a life of honor and duty, have we justified our purpose on this planet or have we simply pacified ourselves with grandiose ideals? Once death consumes us all, we will be left in the dark, and only then will our actions be judged by those ahead of us. Inevitably, we are left to die and suffer pointless, cruel lives with a few twinkling lights of happiness to keep us just sane enough to continue on. I wonder what would happen if those lights went out?

No: yes.

tsundere: hey todoroki

tsundere: what the fuck

Daddy issues: i am pondering the abstract concept of reality

No: he is pondering the abstract concept of reality.

Tsundere: forget i asked

Allmightfan1: hey todoroki you wanna talk about it ?

[Todoroki went idle]

#1: fucker probably passed the fuck out

Allmightfan1: understandable, have a nice day

No: its the middle of the night

Allmightfan1: understandable have a nice night

---

[7:35am]

Daddy issues: i have absolutely no recollection of typing that

Alkaline: fever dreams be whack dude

Pikachu: was it ur acid again ashido

Alkaline: ONE TIME

Pikachu: yeah, the one time you “accidentally” made hallucinogenic acid that “accidentally” got into the dorm vents

Pikachu: i felt like i’d just used all my power and spaced the hell out for a DAY

Naked and Afraid: i hallucinated that tokoyami had a human head and a bird body

No: …..thats frightening to think about

Allmightfan1: I saw a spider and punched it with my quirk

Allmightfan1: I broke a wall

Daddy issues: and your hand

Allmightfan1: and my hand

Alkaline: LOOK.

Alkaline: SHIT HAPPENS.

Daddy issues: we all got detention for a week

Alkaline: a MISTAKE

Mom: leave the poor girl alone

Alkaline: thanks mom

Pikachu: didn’t you like, make thousands of erasers with your quirk while sobbing uncontrollably and saying that “i dont have enough erasers for one full Eraserhead”

Mom: We do not speak of that day

Mom: I stress-Create ok

Mom: I’d like to see you try not to make thousands of tiny objects while high on Ashido Acid™

Chapter Text

[The Next Day]

 

Mom: Forget I ever said anything

Pikachu: you jinxed us momo

Pikachu: you just had to choose the one day to be petty about your quirk

Allmightfan1: for the record we’ve never had quirk-swap training before so this was a total surprise

Pikachu: that makes it even WORSE

Pikachu: I CANT STOP STRESS CREATING

Mom: heh

Pikachu: shut up, invisigirl

Naked and Afraid: hey that’s my quirk youre talking about

Pikachu: ya but now you have my electricity so who’s the real winner here

Naked and Afraid: not me

Naked and Afraid: I can’t use the coffee machine and I’ve cut the power twice

Pikachu: it be like that sometimes

Naked and Afraid: SOMETIMES?!

[Discount Aizawa joined the chat]

Discount Aizawa: MIDORIYA HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS

Allmightfan1: I don’t

Allmightfan1: also ow why’d I have to get kacchan’s quirk

#1: hehe suck it up shitty nerd this is your only opportunity to know what TRUE power feels like

Allmightfan1: it feels like i just put my hands in a blender but go off i guess

#1: I dare you to say that again, shitstain

Allmightfan1: don’t get me wrong I’ve always wanted to have your quirk

Allmightfan1: but i am HURTING

Discount Aizawa: probably not as much as me

Allmightfan1: fair. my quirk hurts worse

#1: HEY NO MY QUIRK HURTS THE MOST

Allmightfan1: I’d like to see you try my quirk, kacchan

Discount Aizawa: you don’t want his quirk, trust me

Mom: if you jinx us again I’m killing you all in your sleep and no one will find the evidence

Naked and Afraid: I appreciate the sentiment but that is NOT what my quirk is for

Mom: it should be

Naked and Afraid: don’t test me, I will electrocute you

Mom: like its hard

No: speaking of hard

Pikachu: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: ←

No: kirishima-kun your quirk is very interesting

Dwayne Johnson: thanks bro!

No: and by that I mean please come help me not rip up my limited edition mcr shirt

Dwayne Johnson: oof ok i’ll be right over

[Dwayne Johnson and No disconnected from the chat]

Alkaline: I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE

Ojiro: I, objectively, am not

Alkaline: you snooze, you lose

Ojiro: our quirks were all swapped at the same time??

Alkaline: yeah but now i can tell birds to attack people i dont like

Kouda: (;゚Д゚)

Alkaline: no regrets

Ojiro: i am sweating corrosive acid and i am not afraid to use it

Alkaline: ….

Alkaline: not my problem

[Alkaline disconnected from the chat]

Ojiro: get back here you horned bastard this is your fault

[Ojiro disconnected from the chat]

Daddy issues: i can feel temperature now

Allmightfan1: yes todoroki

Daddy issues: i am going to die of heat stroke

Allmightfan1: yes todoroki

GOD: meanwhile I cannot feel anything

Daddy issues: i never thought i’d say this but i want my quirk back

GOD: no fuck you i can make hot pockets without a toaster

GOD: this is the pinnacle of existence

Daddy issues: you are going to burn something if you are not careful

GOD: about that….

Sugar Daddy: We just had the kitchen replaced if you burnt it again i will brainwash you into hugging bakugou

GOD: ah

GOD: interesting

[GOD disconnected from the chat]

Sugar Daddy: why did sensei think this was a good idea

Chapter Text

Dwayne Johnson: GUYS THERES SOME RANDOM GIRL IN THE KITCHEN

Dwayne Johnson: GUYS

Dwayne Johnson: SHOULD I CALL AIZAWA-SENSEI

Allmightfan1: ???

Allmightfan1: did someone break in???

Allmightfan1: it’s like 1 am???

#1: I’ll blow em up

#1: wait fuck deku still has my quirk

#1: ILL LASER THEM

I CANNOT STOP TWINKLING: My poor quirk...

Dwayne Johnson: guys there’s still a random girl in the kitchen!!!!

Pikachu: HIDE BITCH

no: Does she possess malicious intent

Dwayne Johnson: she-

Dwayne Johnson: she’s eating a bagel???

Sugar Daddy: was it in the blue tupperware on the top shelf

Dwayne Johnson: yeh I think so

Sugar Daddy: pure malicious intent

Iida Tenya: We must alert the authorities at once!

Naked and afraid: uh guys

Dwayne Johnson: She’s contacting someone on her phone!

Iida Tenya: We cannot let a potential villain infiltrate our beloved campus without a fight!

Alkaline: yoooooo another villain attack? this one is p lame man i want a fight

Tsundere: ...you’re all so stupid jesus christ

Pikachu: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Naked and afraid: guys

Iida: There is nothing “stupid” about defending one’s property against malicious villains, Jirou-san!

Alkaline: Kiribro give us deets, what she look like?

Pikachu: is she hot??????

Sugar Daddy: Update: All students are now safely in their respective rooms, excluding Kirishima who is on lookout. Avenge my bagel for me.

Alkaline: thx sato

Dwayne Johnson: She’s….. wearing Cementoss pajama pants? And bunny slippers???

Iida Tenya: How dare a villain wear a respectable heroes merch!!!

Dwayne Johnson: She’s pretty average looking actually?

Iida Tenya: Aizawa-sensei is on his way!!!

Naked and afraid: GUYS

Alkaline: whats up hagakure

Naked and afraid: THAT’S ME

Alkaline:

Dwayne Johnson:

Pikachu:

Tsundere: ...so, so stupid.

Alkaline: oh my god im so sorry hagakure

Dwayne Johnson: I retract my previous statement

Naked and afraid: The quirk activity doesn’t end till Friday!!!! Sensei literally told us that mutation quirks are nullified!! Of course I’m visible!!

[Allmightfan1 has entered the chat]

Allmightfan1: interesting

Allmightfan1: hagakure, mind answering a few of my questions?

Allmightfan1: This quirk-swapping quirk is truly remarkable

#1: don’t answer that if you want to fucking live

Naked and afraid: ...noted

Allmightfan1: :(

[Iida Tenya is typing]

Allmightfan1: oh jeez not again

Iida Tenya: Hagakure-san! I apologize for my previous behavior! I acted rashly and did not pay attention to our current circumstances! I hope that you can forgive me for being so ignorant, as well as on behalf of the class, whom also committed a deep moral infraction… [read more]

Tsundere: hey don’t lump me in with you idiots, i knew all along

Naked and afraid: jirou ur my one and only hoe

Tsundere: i better be

Pikachu: I feel bitrayed

Tsundere: kami u were always just a side hoe

Pikachu: >:0 !

Pikachu: my heart !

Pikachu: jirou ! bb but I’d do anything for u !

Tsundere: Anything?

Pikachu: yEs

Tsundere: then perish

Pikachu:

Dwayne Johnson: oh boy

Alkaline: HJSHDFKHSDFK

Alkaline: IM CACKLING

Pikachu: i fell right into that didnt i

#1: heh ur all stupid shits

Allmightfan1: translation: “im crying with laughter right now, good one jirou”

#1:

#1: do you want to die deku

Allmightfan1: can’t kill whats already dead inside

No: I sense a kindred spirit

Alkaline: hush, you emo

[Ojiro has entered the chat]

Ojiro: GO TO SLEEP

Ojiro: WE HAVE CLASS TOMORROW

Alkaline: so?

Ojiro: Ashido I swear to god….

[GOD has entered the chat]

GOD: I was summoned

GOD: oh no what did she do now

Alkaline: SERO SAVE ME

GOD: …..

GOD: nah ur on ur own buddy

[GOD has disconnected from the chat]

Alkaline: even god has left me

Alkaline: all I have now are my armies of small animals….

Sugar Daddy: sensei’s returning our quirks tomorrow

Alkaline: DAMN IT.

Chapter Text

pikachu: yoooo lets play truth or dare

Dwayne Johnson: in the middle of class….?

Tsundere: kaminari wtf

Tsundere: this is why you’re 20th in academics

pikachu: dont call me out like this dude

Tsundere: ...jesus christ

pikachu: anYWAYS WHO’S IN

Alkaline: YES ESKETIT

Tsundere: absolutely NOT

Dwayne Johnson: this is a terrible idea im in

[Mom has entered the chat]

Mom: My parental instincts are tingling...ah that’s why

Mom: We must pay attention in class if we are to excel as heroes, this is highly disappointing behavior!

Tsundere: nevermind i’m in

Allmightfan1: I’m in!

Mom: MIDORIYA??

Dwayne Johnson: ayyyyee that’s my bro

Daddy issues: I’ll join as well

Mom: IM GOING TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM

Daddy issues: do you think endeavor will be mad if i fail all my classes.

Allmightfan1: yes

Daddy issues: excellent.

[Mom has disconnected from the chat]

Tsundere: can’t believe momo is fuckin dead

pikachu: no more parental supervision

pikachu: u know what that means

Daddy issues: cocaine

pikachu: truth or dare!

pikachu: NO!

Alkaline: akfdkhfkan

Alkaline: I snorted

Daddy issues: was it the cocaine?

Dwayne Johnson: bakubro is glaring at us

Allmightfan1: he does that all the time its not like it matters

Alkaline: wow who knew mido was such a bad boi

Allmightfan1: I’ve always been a “bad boi”!!!

pikachu: ...right

Dwayne Johnson: yesterday you cried because a dog looked at you for 2 seconds

Allmightfan1: her name was Pancake and she was CUTE OK?!

Alkaline: Uraraka hugged you once and you didn’t move for half an hour because you were too flustered

Fuck: that’s true, i was there

Allmightfan1: we don’t speak of that

Tsundere: didn’t you apologize to a cactus once because you “bumped into it”

Alkaline: hfkdfhakhfk

Allmightfan1: I did though!!!

Tsundere: Recovery Girl had to pull cactus needles from your arm for 2 hours, midoriya

pikachu: didn’t she call ur mom afterwards

Allmightfan1: ANYWAYS

Allmightfan1: who wants to play truth or dare? :-)

Tentacool: how do those emoticons get scarier every time you send them

Fuck: woah Shoji where’d you come from ?????

Tentacool: I was always here

Tentacool: hidden stealthily in the shadows

Alkaline: dude aren’t you like 6’5 how r u hiding

Tentacool: stealthily.

Alkaline: whatever u say bro

pikachu: ok i dare todoroki to hug bakugou for 15 seconds or longer

Allmightfan1: that’s not how truth or dare works

Daddy issues: k.

Fuck: DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH??????!!!!

Daddy issues: well,

Fuck: nevermind don’t answer that

Alkaline: rip todoroki, died bravely at the hands of a violent dandelion

Daddy issues: here i go

[Daddy issues has disconnected from the chat]

Tentacool: did…...did i really just witness that

Tsundere: i’m impressed

Alkaline: he really just froze himself to bakugou huh

pikachu: hey what the fUCK

Fuck: IM CACKLING

Fuck: BAKUGOU LOOKS LIKE HE’S GONNA MURDER SOMEONE

Allmightfan1: this man really about to end his own career like that huh

pikachu: if some1 didn’t record that i’ll cry

Naked and afraid: i did

pikachu: THANK YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL QUIRK

Naked and afraid: you’re welcome… i guess ?

Tsundere: ah jeez he’s breaking out and looks PISSED

Allmightfan1: RUN TODOROKI

Fuck: how is aizawa-sensei still asleep right now

[Discount Aizawa has joined the chat]

Discount Aizawa: do you really want the answer to that question

Fuck: …..yes…. Actually?

Discount Aizawa: he adopted his 13th stray cat on patrol last night and stayed up taking care of it because it had explosive diarrhea

Fuck: 13th???????

Tsundere: the fuck

Dwayne Johnson: how do you even have access to this information Shinbro???

Discount Aizawa: …..I have my ways

[Daddy issues has joined the chat]

Daddy issues: interesting

Daddy issues: Shinsou, i must ask you an important question and you must answer truthfully

Discount Aizawa: …..ok?

Allmightfan1: TODOROKI NO

Daddy issues: Are you Aizawa-sensei’s secret love child, by chance?

Discount Aizawa: huh

Allmightfan1: todoroki we’ve been over this!!!!!

Alkaline: anyone else realize that he stopped running away from bakugou just to type that

pikachu: yo whats that explosion sound…… oh shit

Dwayne Johnson: ……….not again

Allmightfan1: this is karma, todoroki, im not saving you this time

Daddy issues: ouch, cold

Daddy issues: haha get it

Allmightfan1: TODOROKI STOP TEXTING AND FOCUS

Daddy issues: but i can stdfakfajdklkjknnnnnnndf adfkjfdnnetksdv

Allmightfan1: jesus christ

pikachu: cant believe todoroki is really fuckin dead this time

pikachu: can i get an f in the chat

Alkaline: f

Dwayne Johnson: f

Tsundere: f

Allmightfan1: f

Tentacool: f

Fuck: f

Discount Aizawa: moral of the story: don’t question me or someone will die

Allmightfan1: of fun!

Discount Aizawa: …...no midoriya

Chapter Text

(11:23 pm)

Tsundere: anyways do you still have that sneeze fetish

I CANNOT STOP SPARKLING: yes

Tsundere: fuck wrong chat

Tsundere:

Tsundere: aoyama would you like to share something with the class

Naked and afraid: im concerned

pikachu: yo what the FUCK

GOD: why does this chat only get active when someone enters the wrong chat

Alkaline: op is running out of ideas

GOD: thats fair

Naked and afraid: jirou who was that meant for?????

Allmightfan1: hey guys its a school night we should sleep

Naked and afraid: I will lay wide awake in a cold sweat if i do not know who Sneeze Fetish Man is immediately

Naked and afraid: oh my god are they in this class

Tsundere: for the sake of their personal integrity: no comment

pikachu: OH MY GOD NO WAY

Allmightfan1: why are you talking about fetishes?? We need to sleep????

Alkaline: JIROU SPILL THE TEA

Naked and afraid: i have never been as naked and afraid as i am in this moment

Dwayne Johnson: yooo wait what

pikachu: someone in this class has a sneeze fetish

Tsundere: I DIDNT SAY THAT?

Tsundere: anyways even if they were in this class i’d never tell yall cuz you’d never leave them alone

Alkaline: Well,

Tsundere: dont even finish that thought mina, you’d be the worst of them

Alkaline: …..that’s fair

Dwayne Johnson: We don’t kinkshame on this good christian minecraft server !!

Discount Aizawa: what if kinkshaming is my kink

Dwayne Johnson:

Dwayne Johnson: wh

Allmightfan1: hitochan!!!! You can’t just break kirishima-kun like that!!!

pikachu: can’t believe shinsou just joined to say that

Alkaline: can’t believe kiri is dead

#1: can’t believe you’re not all FUCKING ASLEEP

Allmightfan1: i second that!!

#1: i dont need ur help deku

tsundere: is this flirting

tsundere: i can’t tell

Allmightfan1: what you should be able to tell is that kacchan is willing to resort to violence if we keep disrupting his beauty sleep.

Alkaline:

Alkaline: …. GOODNIGHT

pikachu: sleepy time commence

Tsundere: god bless

---

3:56 am (the same night)

 

Alkaline: yo has it occurred to any of you that we’re kind of famous

Alkaline: like

Alkaline: our faces were plastered all over tv during the sports festival

Alkaline: and then all the attacks happened

Alkaline: thats pretty wild

[Tsundere changed their name to Airpods]

Airpods: yeah i guess

Alkaline: haha nice

Alkaline: but really !!!

Alkaline: we have like, fans!!

Tsu: i’d assume so judging by the amount of midoriya x todoroki fanfiction online

Allmightfan1: what

Daddy issues: ...what

Alkaline: the WHAT

Airpods: come on guys you sound like robots

Airpods: spice it up a little

#1: THE FUCKING WHAT???????

Airpods: that’s the spirit

Tsu: After your battle in the semi-finals of the sports festival I thought it’d be the obvious favorite pairing

Alkaline: ok tea, but i cant be the only one that felt the sexual tension during that fight

Allmightfan1: dkfjkdfjakjfdkakf

Airpods: you weren’t.

Allmightfan1: we were having a heart-to-heart moment!!!!

Allmightfan1: entirely platonic!!! Bonding!!!! As friends!!!!!!

#1: he was helping daddy issues with his daddy issues

#1: obviously

Daddy issues: where did u think I got the username from

Alkaline: i dunno……… i smell denial……….. sexual tension mayhaps…...

Allmightfan1: ANYWAYS we were talking about having fans ?

Alkaline: oh yeah!!!!!! You think we could get gigs as models or something?? That would be so cool!!

Daddy issues: smooth midoriya

Allmightfan1: I mean, in theory we could, but our popularity is pretty contained to the hero sphere i’d say

Tsu: I agree, but that does not mean that the fans are any more tame in nature

Allmightfan1: well, that’s if we’re excluding the hero forum and casual fans, the stan faction is much more aggressive… and we’re not even actually heroes yet

Airpods: I feel like i’m listening to a nature documentary right now

Airpods: how do you know so much about hero fans anyways, midoriya?

Allmightfan1: well.

Allmightfan1: uh

#1: the nerd’s a hero nerd

#1: it’s even in his name

Allmightfan1: kacchan!! don’t expose me like this!!

Airpods: i don’t know why i even asked

[Mom has joined that chat]

Mom: Someone want to tell me why you’re all up at 4 am in the morning?

pikachu: hehe 4 in the morning in the morgning ~

Daddy issues: im not

[Daddy issues has disconnected from the chat]

Allmightfan1: training!

#1: training.

Alkaline: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Airpods: you ever just forget to do ur homework last minute

Allmightfan1: literally yaomomo has never forgotten her homework in her life she cant relate

Airpods:

Airpods: damn ok guess ill die

Mom: You forgot your homework?? Would you like some help?

Airpods: that’d be great actually yeah

Mom: I’ll be right over!

[Mom and Airpods have disconnected from the chat]

Alkaline: interesting :)

Tsu: Do not.

Alkaline: :(

(a few minutes pass)

Tsu: Anyways, i personally love the fact that the internet is flaming midoriya-chan for his bone-breaking tendencies.

#1: He deserves it

Allmightfan1: i thought we were over that!!!!

Allmightfan1: I only broke 2 fingers this month !!

#1: two fingers too many

Tsu: I never thought this would happen but, for once, i agree with bakugou

#1: you wanna fuckin go frog legs? the invitation still stands

Alkaline: wow no caps lock

Alkaline: r u sick or something bakugou

#1: what the fuck it broke

#1: i am yelling i fucking promise you

Allmightfan1: trust me, we’re not doubting you kacchan

Alkaline: this is surreal

Alkaline: its like he’s whispering in my ear

#1: im going to destroy you in sparring today, you fucking flamingo

Alkaline: oh that one’s new

Alkaline: i like it

Allmightfan1: it’s kinda cute

#1: its not cute its a fucking insult dumbass

Allmightfan1: cute :)

#1: nevermind you’re first to die, deku

Allmightfan1: aw i don’t get a new nicknkdhfankl;vk

[Allmightfan1 has disconnected from the chat]

Alkaline: did bakugou just kill midoriya

[#1 has disconnected from the chat]

Alkaline: again

Tsu: Yes.

Alkaline: well if that’s all

Alkaline: i’m going to bed

Tsu: Goodnight, Mina-chan.

Alkaline: Goodnight!

[Alkaline has disconnected from the chat]

pikachu: hehehehe 4 am in the morining in the mornin g heh

Tsu: Whoever let kaminari-san at the power box again is going to lose their kneecaps.

Tsu: That’s a promise.