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Day One

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Min Yoongiplays many roles in his life. He is a professor of the political science department at Seoul National University. He is a cook when he is home. He is a proud father of a three-year-old brown poodle called Holly. He is a pianist. He is a composer. And most importantly, he is the husband of Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook with the most adorable doe eyes, the one that holds the galaxy and all the stars and planets in within, with his bunny-like smile, with his magical touch, with his wise and amazing mind, is Yoongi’s husband of six years. The man with the warm caramel eyes, black raven hair, and sweet,oh, sweet comforting words, could choose anyone, but he chooses him. Jeon Jungkook chooses Min Yoongi.


In September 3rd2025, Min Yoongi is forced to play a new unexpected role.


“Alright, now that all of you understand the old electoral system, let’s move on to the new one,” Yoongi’s voice echoes through the auditorium. It is a class of eighty. The professor actually dislikes big classes. He wants to make sure that he teaches well and that every single one of his students understands his lectures, with a large-scale class, this is a little bit difficult to achieve.


“The new electoral system started after 1944. It was called the PR system. PR stands for Proportional Representative, and just like its name, the number of votes you get from the voting will be the number of seats you have in the house,” Yoongi explains while showing a slide presentation to the students. “And together with the PR system, we have the SMD system. This one is a little bit tricky, here I go. SMD stands for—”

Yoongi freezes, the whole class does. The professor forgets. The words are there, stuck on the tip of his tongue but he forgets and Yoongi is not supposed to forget. He has been teaching the same thing for the last four years, with the same materials, same power points, same old environment.


“I’m sorry, Professor. What does it stand for?” Yoongi is cut off from his thought when a student voices his question.


“May— maybe, Hoseok can help us with this one,” the professor sends an apologetic look to his assistant. Hoseok has been helping him with his classes since last year, while simultaneously trying to obtain his Master degree, he should, have to, know this.


The assistant slightly tilts his head to the left upon hearing Yoongi’s statement. The professor has made him deliver some lectures before, but everything will be announced prior to the actual class. Hoseok is lucky that this is such a basic term in the study of the electoral system, “Single-member District Plurality.”


That’s the term. That’s the term Yoongi is trying to look for, trying to remember. It is so simple, so mundane, yet he couldn’t remember it.


It’s the coffee and the research papers, Yoongi tries to conclude. It must be because he is tired and he has not been getting enough sleep for the past few days. Yes, he is simply tired, that’s all.


“Class dismissed!” The professor announces, ten minutes before the class actually ends. Yoongi is glad that the rest of his lecture goes well.


“Good job, Seok. Sorry about that,” Yoongi sighs as he gives his assistant a small pat on his shoulder.


“Something’s bothering you, professor?” Hoseok asks, purely out of curiosity. It is such a rare sight. Professor Min rarely or almost never loses his concentration in the middle of a lecture.


“I think—I think I might not be resting enough. The papers and coffee are starting to get me, you know,” Yoongi answers, earning a chain of nods from the younger. “I think I’ll take a day off from the university just to rest.”


“That will be a good idea. Health is above anything,” Hoseok agrees. “Rest well, professor. I’ll look through the papers from the other classes, so it won’t be piling up when you come back the day after tomorrow.”


“Thank you so much, Seok-a. I don’t know what I will do if the university does not assign me as your thesis advisor,” Yoongi zips his bag, ready to leave the room.


“It is the other way around. I am extremely lucky, consider they are kind enough to assign me to one of the best lecturers alsothe best political scientist in South Korea,” the assistant beams. He follows Yoongi to his office, places a bundle of new research papers on his table and returns the book he has borrowed from the professor last week to its shelf.


Just when Hoseok is about to leave the room, the assistant hears Yoongi’s small encouraging whisper, “consider education field, Seok. You’ll be an amazing lecturer or professor,” and off he goes.


After Hoseok leaves his office, Yoongi calls Jungkook to pick him up from the university. He is too tired to take the bus at this point.


“Pick me up please,” Yoongi says. Now that he mentions it, he actually feels extremely exhausted.


“Do you overwork yourself again, Yoonie?” Jungkook’s calming voice comes from the other end of the line.


The younger knows that Yoongi has not been sleeping enough since last week. Usually, when he comes back from the company, Yoongi will be all curled up in the couch, hiding under the thick blanket because it is the warmest. Jungkook will have to carry him back to their bedroom before joining his husband under the sheet. But recently, whenever he is home from work, Yoongi is still awake, swimming in a pool of research papers.

Yoongi used to overwork himself all the time, not knowing his own limit. Ever since he marries Jungkook, the younger has taken a serious measure to stop him from overworking. But old habits die hard.


“I think I do. I— Kook, I forgot a very simple term in the class just now,” the elder explains, trying to hide his tired andsad tones from his lover, but considering Jungkook’s replies, he does not seem like he is doing well.


“Do you have other classes for today, Yoonie?” Jungkook asks worriedly, “If yes, can you cancel them and just go back home and rest? I’ll pick you up now if that’s alright.”


“I have another class but I’ll tell the faculty member that I don’t feel well so they could cancel them for me. And please, it will be very nice of you to come to the university now,” Yoongi replies.


“Alright, see you in fifteen, baby,” Yoongi hears the dingfrom the elevator before Jungkook cuts his call.


The conversation with the faculty member goes smoothly, probably because it is very rare for Yoongi to take day offs. The professor strongly believes that make-up classes held on Saturday morning suck. Hence, as much as he could, he does not want his student to experience that.


Yoongi is half conscious when he hears someone knocking on the door, sleep almost overtakes him. “Come in.”


The door reveals the person behind it. It is Jungkook still dress in his company’s suit. His hair looks like it has been gone through way too many time. Even with his half-closed eyes, Yoongi can see worries clearly painted on the younger’s face.


“Hey, sleepyhead,” Jungkook calls, walking towards his husband “Let’s get you home, ‘kay?” he wants to leave kisses all over Yoongi’s sleepy face, but he knows it will be inappropriate, considering they are still inside a university.


Erm,” the professor simply answers.


The drive back home is a blur for Yoongi. All he knows is he has fallen asleep in the car, Jungkook has undressed him from his working attire and changed him to his comfortable Kumamon pajama.


The professor does not know how long he has been sleeping, but when he wakes up from the sound of light snoring above him, the sky outside is already dark. Jungkook is sleeping next to him, one of his arms is under Yoongi’s head and another one wraps loosely around his tiny waist. Yoongi’s back is pressed to the younger’s bare chest and it takes him his everything to not turn around and admire his lover’s sleeping figure.

He still gives in to temptation, though. Yoongi slowly shifts from his position, trying not to wake the younger up, and face Jungkook. The younger is sleeping soundly, vulnerable to the world and in need of protection. Except it is alwaysthe other way around. Even in his most vulnerable state, Jungkook has never failed to provide protection, safety-nets, home, for Yoongi to hide under. It is probably the way Yoongi fits so perfectly in his arms that further support this claim. 

Yoongi places his palm on Jungkook’s cheek, slowly rubbing his thumb against the younger cheekbone, it has become more prominent. “Are you eating well, muscle bunny?” Yoongi whispers. “Please eat well, hm? You seem to lose some weight.”


“You are the one who should eat more, Yoon,” Jungkook says, eyes still tightly closed. His voice is heavy from sleep. “Why are you up?”


“Because you snore, smartass.”


“It is not even that loud. That is a lame excuse, Min Yoongi,” Jungkook counterattacks, while gently pinching Yoongi’s nose. The elder wants to do the same to him but Jungkook’s hold around his waist becomes tighter.


“That is not fair!” Yoongi protests, still trying to wriggle out of his husband’s arms. “Stop going to the gym and stop eating too much. Your strength is giving me a creep.”


“I thought you have just asked me to eat well, huh? Is that not the case now?” Jungkook looks at him, raising one of his eyebrows. “And don’t act like you don’t like it when I can carry you like you are nothing,” he teases.


“You’re a bully,” Yoongi sulks, his cheeks becoming pinkish as he replies. “But yeah, yeah. Eat well please, and be healthy,” the professor continues. Instead of trying to get out of Jungkook’s hold this time, knowing that he won’t be successful anyway, Yoongi buries his face on his husband’s bare chest. The elder inhales deeply before he adds, “stay healthy, Jungkook. Promise me, okay?”


Jungkook is glad that Yoongi cannot see him now because he isfrowning. From the way Yoongi has integrated his emotion into his sentences, the younger knows that the stress from the day has really sunk into the elder’s system. “I promise. I promise,” Jungkook repeats several times as if Yoongi has not heard his answer. “I promise.”

They stay like that for the whole night, in each other arms, just enjoying the silence and the presence of the other. Yoongi only goes back to sleep after Jungkook keeps on leaving short kisses on top of his head, his hand drawing small circles on his back. The younger does not stop even when he is sure Yoongi has fallen asleep.


“I love you, Yoon,” Jungkook whispers, pressing Yoongi even closer to his side, making sure that there is no space between them. The younger leans down and places a light kiss on his forehead before succumbing to the darkness himself.




“I’m going out for a run with Namjoon today. I’ll take Holly with me,” Yoongi starts, the professor has taken a day off from the university. Both of them are preparing lunch together in the kitchen. The elder is responsible for the soup while Jungkook is assigned to cook kimchi fried rice with yesterday’s leftover rice. Cooking is one of their favorite pastimes as the two love-birds loves the activity wholeheartedly, doing the dishes is a problem though.


“Alright. I’ll do my work while you are out so when you come back, we can watch some movies together,” Jungkook says while he adds some rice to the pan. The younger also takes a one-day leave from his own company today, insisting on keeping his husband accompanied.


Jungkook is the CEO of Jeon Corp., South Korea’s largest entertainment company. The younger himself is very familiar with the field, acing singing and dancing at the same time. One of the reasons why he feels so connected to Yoongi is because the professor shares a very similar view of art and music as him.


“Namjoon will come and pick you up, right?”


Yoongi nods his head. “Yeah, and we’ll be running the usual track.”




Namjoon comes around three, the promised time. Yoongi is putting a leash on Holly when he hears the bell. The elder rushes to the door to let Namjoon in before going back to fix the dog’s leash, making sure that it is not too tight on him.

Kim Namjoon also works in the education field. Just like Yoongi, he is a law professor at Kyung Hee University, giving lectures in both English and Korean. The two has been best friend since high school and has gone to the same university for both undergraduate and graduate degrees before going partway for their last one.


“It’s rare for you to take a day off like this, Yoonie,” Namjoon comments. “It is even rarer for you to call me for an afternoon run. Something must be happening, or something must have happened.”


Yoongi sends his best friend a grin, “You are quick as usual, Joonie,” the elder praises, “We will talk later, I don’t want Jungkook to hear us.”


A frown makes an appearance on the law professor’s lips, “Is it anything serious, Yoon?”


“I don’t know, Joon. More like, I hope it is not, or else—” Yoongi walks towards the door and takes out his favorite running shoes from the shoe rack. “Or else, Jungkook might have to learn how to live by himself, alone.”




The usual track means a slow run around the neighborhood, around the lake, walk holly on the park, back to the lake and home. It is a relaxing two-hour run. There is nothing special about it but once in a while, Yoongi could get caught up in heaty gossips with the mothers living in the area. Jungkook teases Yoongi once that he camouflages extremely well in the middle of pregnant and married women.


“You up for talking now?” Namjoon asks again after they are far enough from Yoongi’s place. It is true that he is curious, but the law professor really is more worried about it.


Yoongi takes a deep sigh before he starts explaining what has happened in the class yesterday, how he forgets a very basic term from the lecture. Namjoon listens to him attentively, his brains and legs working at the same speed.


“And what do you think it is?” Namjoon thinks he knows what it is. Yoongi tells him once when they are still two struggling university students. But if he is right, he needs to hear it from Yoongi himself.


The elder smiles sadly at his friend, “I know you know the answer, Joonie. You are way too smart to not get all of this.”


“But it is very uncommon! Why should it be you out of all people?” Namjoon retorts, it is not fair. Not for him, not for Jungkook especially not for Yoongi.


They don’t, never, choose people, Namjoon ah. But to think that I will inherit it from my father,” the elder says. The two have arrived at the park, and after being carried from home, it is holly’s turn to run now. “I’ll get it check as soon as I can.”


“Run me through everything once you got the result.”


“I will. You’ll be the first one to know about it, I swear. You have been always the first person to know about anything so far,” Yoongi reassures his best friend.


The two decide to sit down on the bench for a while. Yoongi observes Holly as the puppy run here and there, getting mud all over his fur. The professor also does not miss Namjoon’s gentle eyes looking at him once in a while.


“Say it out loud, Namjoon. I can hear you thinking,” Yoongi chuckles.


Namjoon hesitates but decides to go with it in the end, “Does Jungkook know about it?”

The elder nods his head twice, “I told him once a couple of years ago. I hope he still remembers it, or else, it will be one hell of a ride for him.” For me, too.


Namjoon and Yoongi walk back home after Holly has had enough mud on him. The puppy looks extraordinarily dirty but also extremely happy. It is a win-win for Yoongi, he could just clean his puppy at home later.

Namjoon parts with Yoongi near the lake, the law professor needs to go the other way. Although he insists on bringing Yoongi back to his place, the elder has assured him that he is going to be okay by himself. Plus, it is still bright outside and it is not like he will forget how to get back to his place from the lake.

Unless that is what really happened.

Yoongi decides to take Holly for a longer walk due to the nice weather. Because of Jungkook’s busy schedule, it has also been such a long time since the puppy gets the chance to go outside. The professor takes an alternative track, ten to fifteen minutes longer than the usual one.

But it does not take Yoongi ten to fifteen minutes to reach home. It takes him an hour and only because Jungkook has come to pick him up.


“Kook—help—can you— can you pick me up please?”


Jungkook, who hears Yoongi’s shaking voice, is already panicking on the other side of the phone. But he knows he needs to remain calm for his husband. “Where are you, Yoonie?”


“I don’t—I don’t know. I can’t—Kook, I can’t remember our place. I want to go home, I want to go home so badly,” the younger freezes, Yoongi forgets basic things, again. And this time, it is not even categorized as basic, Yoongi forgets the place he stays in, his home.


Jungkook is brought back to his senses again when he hears Holly’s barking sounds from the phone. “I’m coming to get you alright, baby. I’m coming to get you now.”


“Ho—how? I don’t know where I am and you could not—”


The younger has just started running on the street when he hears barking sound nearby, it sounds like Holly. “I heard you, baby. I heard Holly, too,” Jungkook says to him. He does hear the both of them, it is not all just in his head. But something does not feel right, something is reallynot right here. “Keep talking to me, baby, keep talking.”


Jungkook feels as if a heavy stone is removed from his chest when he sees Yoongi sitting on the side of the road with Holly on his lap. “Fuck—Yoongi!” he shouts.


When the professor sees his husband face, he knows he is doomed. “Kook—”


When Jungkook sees Yoongi cries his eyes out on the couch that night, gasping for air, gasping for memories, it finally hits him why something is not right;


Yoongi is just four houses away from their place when he asks for help.


September 3rd2025;

“It’s early-onset AD,” the doctor announces. “It is very uncommon and is usually familial. Does anyone in your family, the first-degree relative in this case, has a history with AD, Mr. Min?”


“My father.”


Neither Jungkook nor Yoongi is terribly shaken when Dr. Kim announces the diagnoses. It only further supports their deduction on how the Alzheimer disease has been passed down from Yoongi’s father to him.

Ever since the incident one week ago, where Yoongi could not find his own home, the professor has prepared for the worst. He reminds Jungkook about his father, about what could possibly happen, and about the day when they will eventually get Yoongi check.

It is devastating for both of them. But it is way more devastating for Jungkook. The way he cried his eyes out while hearing Yoongi’s explanation, shaking, screaming for helphelphelp even though he will not be the one suffering.

Yoongi understands why. It is always harder to be the one who will be left behind.

Things always start out minor, but for Yoongi, it escalates quickly.

When the professor is back at work the next day, he forgets his locker’s number. Fortunately, there is a photo of him with some of his students in front of locker number 93 to remind him.

The day after tomorrow, Friday, he forgets to return the books he borrowed to the library. Yoongi always returns books on Friday, it is a routine schedule since his undergraduate years.

Fortunately, Jungkook has stopped him by the doorstep and hands him the books. “You forget,” his husband says sadly.

 The days after those two days are nothing different.

 They consist of Yoongi forgetting to do small things. Something like, making coffee for the both of them on Saturday morning, forgetting their movie night on Sunday, not feeding Holly according to the correct food measurement, and sometimes even forget to feed him at all.

 But those are not the reasons why they are here in a neurologist office. It is onebigthing that has brought them here.


“Morning, Professor!” Hoseok greets his role-model.


“Oh, morning,” the professor replies. Yoongi places his bag down on the teacher’s table before heading to the sound system to set up the mic and projector. “You are here early,” Hoseok squints his eyes upon hearing the elder’s remark and seeing the elder’s actions.

He has always been here early, twenty minutes before the class starts, he will set up everything for the professor, bring in the paper from last class so it could be distributed back to the students, or go through what they will talk about in that class for that session.


“Do you set this thing up for me? You don’t have to do it next time, I could do it by myself,” the professor says kindly.


“Professor, I—” Hoseok’s mind could not process the situation he is in now, it is like the professor forgets something, forgets him.Despite the shock, the assistant eventually remembers the incident from one week ago when Yoongi forgot a basic term during the class and all of a sudden, the research papers on his hands become a lot heavier. Is this just a coincidence? It must be a coincidence, Yoongi is just playing with him now, it—


It is not because Hoseok is right.


“The class is about to start, please take your seat.”


The professor could not remember him.

And that is how they end up in a neurologist office.




“We need to talk about it, Kook,” Yoongi confronts his husband after they come back from the hospital.


“What is there to talk about, Yoon? What the doctor said back then is clear, there is no room for any interpretation. There is nothing to talk about,” the professor has never seen Jungkook being this desperate his whole life.


“There is a lot to talk about,” Yoongi sighs. “I have been there, Kook a, trust me there are many things we need to talk about. Something like what happens if I am forced into early retirement, what happened if I eventually need a caretaker, what happens if—”


“None of that will be happening to you. We don’t need to talk about it. You will be staying at your jobs and fuck the caretakers shit,” Jungkook is in denial. At this rate, it will be harder for Yoongi to talk to him. “I’m going to bed.”


“Jeon Jungkook,” Yoongi runs after his husband and grabs his wrist so Jungkook stops walking. “You cannot just pretend that I am okay, Kook. You know something needs to be done, something is meant to happen.”


“Then it can be done when it happens, Yoongi,” Jungkook says, his tone is emotionless. But Yoongi could see the sadness in his eyes, all the starts it used to possess are now dimmed. “Please don’t make all of this sounds like it is so easy.”


It is anything but easy, Kook.


“But we could not just wait. The disease does not wait, Jungkook. How should I explain this to you so you understand, huh?” Now, Yoongi is the one who sounds frustrated. Why doesn’t Jungkook just agree to him?


“I don’t understand?” the younger challenges. “I sure do! I do know that one day you will forget about me and I need to live my life alone and all those things that we do together in the past won’t matter to you anymore, because you will not even be able to remember me!”


There is something about Jungkook’s sentences that, even though they are true, feels like a horrible slap on the face to Yoongi. Every word that leaves the younger’s lips feels like somebody shoving a sharp knife down his throat, slow and steady.


“What?” Yoongi whispers meekly. He gathers his everything to look up at Jungkook, the younger’s face wet with tears and how Yoongi wishes he could stumble over and brush them away. “Do you just say that everything we did together won’t matter to me? Please repeat what you said, Jeon Jungkook, because I think—I think I might hear it wrong.”


It hurts, it aches so much. It is just the start and it is breaking both of them already. “I am scared, too, Jungkook a, just like you,” with his trembling finger, Yoongi tries to hug himself for comfort that never comes.


And then he feels the weight of a comfortable, familiar and warm hand rests on his back. An equally shaking Jungkook has him wraps around his arms. “Breathe, breathe,” the younger reminds Yoongi once the elder buries his face on Jungkook’s chest. Slowly but surely, Yoongi is no longer shaking like a few moments before, but still, Jungkook can feel his shirt becoming wet from his husband’s tears but he does not mind.


“I am sorry, I am sorry, baby. I am so sorry,” Jungkook begins once he manages to ground Yoongi. “I am— I didn’t mean it that way and yeah, yeah Yoongi, I am scared. I am so fucking scared. I—”


Yoongi eventually manages to hug his husband back just as tight. “Kookie,” Yoongi whimpers into his chest, “I am sorry too.”


“You are not supposed to apologize. It is not your fault,” Jungkook asks. The younger swings both of them to the left and right, knowing that Yoongi loves the gentle movement. “Why do you want to talk about it so bad, Yoonie?”


Yoongi does not say anything, he only remains silent. For the next five minutes or so, though Yoongi and Jungkook are not exactly keeping track, they still find themselves pressed up chest-to-chest, their breathing in sync even though Yoongi’s is shakier.


Jungkook only hears a reply from the older when he also hears soft sniffles coming from him. He is eager to know the answer. And Oh, how he regrets asking because Jungkook, he thinkshe has time, they have time, they could wait and do things slowly. But Yoongi, he knows.


“I—I want to make sure I did everything— everything while I still remember you, Jeon Jungkook.”


Yoongi knows they are running out of time.




That same night, Yoongi calls Namjoon. The professor finds himself sitting upright even once he crawls into bed, back uncomfortably rigid like it was not capable of relaxing even though Jungkook is right behind him, keeping him center for the conversation.


Yoongi can barely hear his tiny voice when he tries to explain what is happening with his brain to his best friend. “Appa gives me what he has, Joonie.”


It almost breaks Jungkook again, but he needs to be strong. He has always been the strong one, he needs to stay the same, especially now. Yoongi’s plump cheeks are, once again, wet from tears and his whole small frame is shaking against Jungkook’s, prompting the younger to pull the trembling elder closer until he is holding Yoongi in is arms.


“Joonie—” Yoongi calls after a long while, Jungkook expects the call to have ended. “Joonie—I am sorry if I forget you. I—I will try not to, I will try my best.” The elder ends the call right after that sentence, his hand lying limp on top of the younger thigh.


And Jungkook realizes, how hard it is to actually stay strong, especially now.




Yoongi is forced to sign the early retirement contract by the school six months later. The university could no longer hire him due to the number of complaints they received from the students about how unprofessional the lecturer is. He is neither sad nor disappointed, he expects it.


“Hey, professor?” someone calls him when Yoongi is packing his things into his bag. He will only bring back everything he has on his desk and locker. The school will send his books and everything on his shelves to him as soon as possible.


“Oh, come in,” Yoongi says without turning back.


“Are you really leaving?” the voice questions.  


“As you can see, sadly yes. Do you have anything you want to ask? I hope I could still help you with your question if it is about class,” Yoongi chuckles as he zips his bag, finally turning his back to look at the source of the voice.


A young man with a warm smile and bright eyes is standing in front of him.


“No, nothing really. I—I am just here to thank you. You are such an amazing lecturer, professor,” the man says, “I will not forget everything you have thought me. The experience and knowledge I gain from you are priceless.”


“You are over exaggerating, young man. If you do well in my class, it is only because you also tried very hard,” Yoongi pats the man on his shoulder, “good job.”


“Thank you, Professor Min,” the man’s tone is very sad and Yoongi could only wonder why. Does he really mean that much to his students?


“You’ll do even better from now on, erm—”


“Hoseok, Jung Hoseok, sir,” the man says. Of course, Yoongi could not remember his name. He has been teaching for as long as he remembers, hundreds of classes, thousands of students.


“—Hoseok. I wish you good luck, young man,” the professor opens the door and turns over the nameplate hung in front of his door. Min Yoongi is leaving.


“Professor Min!” Hoseok calls for Yoongi who is about to leave the teacher’s faculty, his voice echoes through the empty hallway. “What does SMD stand for?”


Yoongi smiles at him and replies, “Single-member District Plurality, Hoseok a.”


Hoseok’s lips stretch into a content smile, although he couldn’t see clearly due to the tears cornering his eyes.

This is it, his final gratitude, “Thank you, Professor Min!” The assistant bows his head, fat tears falling to the ceramic floor from his eyes.

He hears the door closes in front of him. The professor left, leaving Hoseok with red-teary eyes and a heavy heart.


“Goodbye, Professor Min, goodbye.”




Jungkook and Yoongi have just arrived home from the elder’s monthly check-up. The two decides to spend the rest of the day cuddled up under the blanket, with Yoongi’s head resting on Jungkook’s chest and the rest of their limbs tangled together. They fall into patterns between sleeping the rest of the day away, chatting about pointless things, snuggling into each other’s neck or kissing.


“What will you do when I could not remember you anymore?”


It is such a simple question and Jungkook knows exactly what Yoongi wants to hear from him, but the younger is not going to pretend that he wants the same thing. “I am going to remind you of me, of us,” he says instead.


“You know exactly what I don’t want to hear, huh?” Yoongi cuddles closer and presses his nose to the younger’s chest, taking one deep drag of the rosy scents hanging off Jungkook’s hoodie. “You are supposed to say that you will continue living, Jungkookie.”


“I will,” the younger says. “I will continue living.”


“Without me,” Yoongi quickly adds. Before Jungkook could argue to that sentence, Yoongi brings his index finger and places it in front of the younger’s lips. “Could you promise me something, Jeon Jungkook?”


“No, I could not, sir,” Jungkook says playfully. “But maybe for you, because guess what, I fucking love you, Min Yoongi,” Yoongi feels warmth washes over him, making him feels as if he could burst into tears right then and there.


“Then, promise me. Promise me that when I can no longer remember you, you need to throw away your selfless attitude and for once, just for this one, be selfish. Continue living, find new love, because your life does not end with me, Jeon Jungkook,” Yoongi murmurs, his warm hands are cupping Jungkook’s cheeks as the older closes the space between them. “And trust me, I will be okay on my own. I will be more than okay with it. And you will too. I want you to be happy, do you hear that? I said it loud and clear.”


Jungkook does not trust himself to speak out a response, his tongue feeling too heavy in his mouth for him to speak even though he knows Yoongi is waiting for an answer.


The elder continues to speak, “promise me that when I can no longer remember you, you will be able to let me go. That’s the only thing I ask for.”


The younger shifts his eyes from the ceiling to the love of his life. Yoongi was beautiful, he always is and he always will. The elder’s eyes sparkle with unshed tears, his lower lip quivering, hands shaking to grab onto something to hold. Jungkook takes his fingers and tangles them together with Yoongi’s before he decides to respond to the elder’s wishes.


“I couldn’t,” Jungkook whimpers, tilting his head for fear that tears would start streaming down his cheeks. “I couldn’t. I could not even imagine waking up in the morning not seeing your beautiful face anymore, or coming home from work and only greeted by silence, or having to spend our Sunday’s movie nights alone— I could not pretend that everything is going to be okay, Yoongi. Be—because when you go, Yoon. You take with you a part of me.”


The feeling of Yoongi’s weight, soft, warm and comfortably heavy on his body, makes Jungkook wants to bawl his eyes out. This, this is one of the things Jungkook will miss, just Yoongi resting on top of him.


“Don’t cry,” Yoongi coos, tilting Jungkook’s chin up so he could look at his husband. “Don’t cry, baby Koo,” he repeats.


“P—please don’t leave me alone, Yoonie,” Jungkook begs. “We have time—we have time, everything will be alright. You see me every single day. I’ll kiss you good morning and I’ll sing you lullaby. That way—that way, you wouldn’t forget me, right? Yoongi a—you would not forget me, right?”


The elder looks up just in time to see Jungkook brings up one of his arms to cover his eyes, a fresh wave of tears spilling down his cheeks and Yoongi’s heart clenches painfully in his chest. Yoongi does not say anything as he holds Jungkook even closer and let him cries in his arms.

Just like how Jungkook could not promise him about being selfish if Yoongi ever forgets about him, Yoongi could not promise the younger that he will not forget him either.


Because Yoongi knows, he eventually will.




The list on Yoongi’s small note becomes longer as the day passes, sometimes it is added by Yoongi himself, sometimes, Jungkook helps him with it.


Return book three by Thursday

Take Holly for a walk and feed him

Bedroom is to the left of the living room

Take medication according to the time table in the kitchen

Hug Jungkook every time he is back from work


“Jungkook, there is someone waiting for you in the living room. He says he is an old friend. Wake up lazy ass,” Yoongi informs his husband before he goes back to the kitchen to cook breakfast for the both of them.


Jungkook does not remember inviting anyone today, not a new friend and not an old friend. But as soon as he enters the living room, Jungkook feels anxiety settling heavy in his gut. The younger’s wide eyes are immediately soaked with tears when he sees Namjoon sitting on the couch with equally watery eyes.


“Do you sign the contract?” Namjoon manages through the hiccups.


The law professor waits for the younger to answer him. It is too much for him to handle early in the morning. It is Yoongi’s faint sweet singing voice from the kitchen that makes Jungkook remembers how to speak again. “I do. We talk about it, and I am going to be his caretaker for as long as I could, before— before the nursing home shits.”


Namjoon nods his head once. “No matter what you do, Kook, remember you will always have someone behind to support you.”


“How nice will it be if that someone is always Yoongi,” Jungkook says and the law professor could only offer him a sad smile. “I guess I’ll add something on the list, in case you come and visit again, Joonie.”


Namjoon is the one with dimples and deep voice




Tell Jungkook you love him


Jungkook has just come back from work, greeted by Yoongi’s warm hug and Holly’s soft barking. A comfortable silence falls between them as the two settle down on the couch, breathing falling into an almost similar tempo. A feeling of peacefulness runs through Jungkook’s system as Yoongi strokes his hair.

“Have I told you how much I love you today?” Yoongi questions.


“You did, but I don’t mind hearing it again,” Jungkook says. The younger manages to crack a grin and looks to Yoongi with wide and sparkly eyes.


“I love you,” Yoongi whispers, a sweet smile curling on his lips as he complies to Jungkook’s request.


“I can’t hear you, once again please,” Jungkook teases, closing the space between them to capture Yoongi’s lips for a chaste kiss.


The elder giggles and leaves another kiss on Jungkook’s forehead before repeating what he has just said, “I love you, Jeon Jungkook.”


“Once again, please. But this time with a nickname,” The younger whines, in hope that he will hear the three words from his husband’s lips once again.


“You are one big baby, aren’t you?”


“I am your one big baby, so I demand another ‘I love you’ with a nickname, please,” the sentence earns the younger a playful slap on the shoulder from Yoongi and for the elder’s personal enjoyment, Jungkook pretends that it actually hurts.


“I love you, you dork.” Yoongi giggles again. “I love you so much.”


Tell Jungkook you love him


“Hey, that is not my nickname! If one of us is a dork, it gotta be you,” Jungkook pouts and Yoongi lets out a laugh before he cups the younger cheeks and squishes them in between his palm.


“I love you, dork,” Yoongi leans in to capture Jungkook’s upper lips between his own, fingers tangling behind his lover’s head. “I love you, Kookie.”




“I love you, Kookie.”


“Once again,” Jungkook croons, gently nosing Yoongi’s cheek, “Please.”


“Alright,” Yoongi agrees with another laugh. “I love you so much, Jeon Jungkook, a dork, a wonderful husband. I love you, my Jungkookie.”


“I love you more,” the way Jungkook replies to him is softsoftsoft. “I love you more, Min Yoongi.”


Yoongi shakes his head, a lone silent tear trickling down his cheek. The elder gently strokes his husband’s cheeks and runs his fingers through Jungkook’s fluffy hair. The pretty strands of black complemented Yoongi’s pale and petite fingers. The younger shivers under him and Yoongi, without even looking at his husband, knows that tears are spilling down Jungkook’s eyes.

Before Jungkook could hide his face so that the older would not see him crying, Yoongi leans down and peppers his face in kisses. The younger continues to whimper, tears still spilling down in silent as Yoongi reaches out with one of his hand to brush away the tears.


“I love you most,” he whispers.


Remind Jungkook you love him.




It all went south from there, no turning back.


After all the ‘I love you’s and stormy conversation that follows, Yoongi lets Jungkook guide him to the bed.

He screams and screams as he feels Jungkook pushing at his entrance, deliberately slow in a way that he can feel every inch of him sliding along his inside, stretching him open in a way that he did not think is even possible and it feels good. It feels so fucking good.

Jungkook leans down and gives him a searing kiss, breathing just as hard as Yoongi, and the elder smiles up at him, love and happiness buried deep down in his sad, tired eyes.


“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Jungkook whispers and slams into Yoongi one last time. The elder feels warmth spills inside him as his second orgasm burns through, leaving his body trembling and chest heaving so hard he can hardly breathe. But he smiles, Yoongi smiles.


Jungkook gently wraps his arms around Yoongi’s shaky body and turns the both of them so Yoongi is lying on top of him. The elder nuzzles closer into the younger’s next, breathing in Jungkook’s calming scent. He will miss this, he already does.


“Kookie,” he calls, “I am happy.”


As he slips into Neverland, all curled and tangled up to Jungkook, Yoongi thinks he hears something from the younger. But it could wait, they have time.


They do not.


A gentle crying sound pulls Jungkook away from his dream where Yoongi and he are okay and have their own silly happily ever after. Yoongi is feeding their son while Jungkook is bathing their other son. Holly is running in the backyard with Monie, Namjoon’s dog. Everything is so perfect that Jungkook hopes he does not have to wake up to their own twisted reality.

Because of the darkroom, Jungkook needs to squint his eyes as he tries to adjust to the darkness. The younger turns to the other side, where he hears a whimpering sound, only to find Yoongi sitting against the headboard, cheeks are already streaked with tears and chest is heaving so hard.

Before asking any question, Jungkook slides out of bed and runs over to the light switch and flickers the light on, illuminating the previously dark room. He knows Yoongi despises the darkness when he is forced to stay awake from whatever things that are mingling in his mind. Jungkook climbs back into the bed and sits right next to Yoongi, waiting for anything, anything, from the elder.

But nothing comes. The next few seconds continue in slow motion as they lock eyes. Yoongi’s fingers loosen around his sweater as he reaches out to place his palm on Jungkook’s red cheeks. The moment he feels Jungkook’s warm skin against his cold one, Yoongi bursts into tears, hot and heavy and he feels like drowning.

Jungkook is no stranger with this, Yoongi’s random attacks. It has become worse and worse ever since the elder gets diagnosed. But this is different, Yoongi does not move, his palm remains still on Jungkook’s cheeks and the elder does not try to seek for help from the younger. By now, he would usually have Yoongi on his arms while he whispers empty nothing to his ears.


“I—I love y—you, I know I do, I— I lo—love you,” Yoongi whimpers, voice breaking with every syllable of the sentence. “I k—know you do too, I—”


“Wh—who are you?”


And Jungkook could only wonder, why the stars are so damn beautiful that night.




If someone were to ask Jungkook, how does it feel like living together with Min Yoongi for seven years, he would answer with a big smile on his face, “it is one hell of a roller coaster. But it is the ride you enjoy, you know? The ups, the downs, the loops, all the accelerates and halts, if they are rough, at least we are in it together. Yeah, we are in it together.”


If someone were to ask Jungkook, what kind of person Min Yoongi is, he would answer with a gentle smile on his lips, “An amazing husband, equally amazing cook. The most intelligent human being I have ever met, you need to see him when he talks politics. But most importantly, an angel in disguise, a hero without a cape and Holly’s father. He will kill me if I don’t mention that.”


If someone were to ask Jungkook, what kind of life does he imagine he will be living together with the older, he would answer with a proud smile, “A conventional one. We plan to adopt three more puppies and Yoongi and I have been debating on whether or not we should get a kitten too. Ah, adoption also comes into our conversation very often. Yoongi actually thinks about the names, the elder will be named Jimin and the younger will be named Taehyung. It is nothing luxurious, but we do look forward to it.”


If someone were to ask Jungkook, how much does he love the elder, he would answer with a genuine smile, “like how I promise him in front of the altar seven years ago, until death does us apart.”


If someone were to ask Jungkook, how things have changed over the last seven years, he would answer with a blinding smile, “nothing has changed. The equation has always remained the same, I am him and he is me. Jeon Jungkook exists because there is Min Yoongi and it works the other way around.”


If someone were to ask Jungkook, how does he imagine life without Min Yoongi, he would chuckle before he answers,


“I am living it now.”




“Good to see you, Namjoon. It has been such a long time,” the young CEO greeted. “How are you?”


“As you can see, I am in perfect condition, no damage has been taken for being too clumsy,” the law professor says. “So, ten years, huh? You doing okay, young man?”


Jungkook is all suit up, the CEO has a book instead of roses on his hand. It is a big day. It is Yoongi’s and his tenth-year wedding anniversary, it has been that long, huh?  “You know what, I have been doing this for ten years, fourteen if you add all the unnecessary flirting, and I am still so fucking nervous every time I need to do this.”


“I mean, what can I say, you are going to meet the one and only Min Yoongi,” Namjoon teases.  


The two best friends open the door to room 93, a fine young man is sitting on a chair, sunlight coming into the room from the opened window. Yoongi is very immersed in the book on his hand, the elder does not even notice the two men’s arrival.


Namjoon is about to step into the room when Jungkook stops him by blocking his way with his arm, “I will come back later,” the younger says.


It is a rare sight. Yoongi has not picked up any book since he is diagnosed with AD, and today, out of all day, the elder chooses to read.


“Buy me a book every time we celebrate our anniversary, I will read them and I will tell you the story. You are not a reader, aren’t you, Jeon Jungkook? But you don’t mind listening to me, right?” Yoongi said.


Jungkook and Namjoon walk back to the parking lot, the two get caught up in their own little conversations, falling into a pattern they are so familiar of.


Yoongi himself decides to move to the nursing home two years after the night he forgets Jungkook for the first time. The elder’s memories do come back from time to time but as time passes, things are only meant to become worse.


There are days where he could tell the world the curves and details of his lover’s figure.

There are days where he could tell that Jungkook is important to him.

There are days where he would freak out because a stranger is sleeping next to him.


The moving in is neither an easy decision for both Yoongi nor Jungkook, but they know it will eventually come, whether they like it or not, it will eventually hit, and when it does, it hits hard and fast.


“I wish he would never leave us, you know,” Namjoon says. He misses his best friend dearly.

“No, no, Yoongi has never left. He never did, he never does and he never will,” Jungkook smiles to Namjoon, sadness and happiness painted his face, “It just— every single day is a new day for him, it’s day one. And you know what, Joonie—”


The law professor looks at the young CEO questioningly.


“I don’t mind living every day like it is day one.”




“Do you mind listening to me speaking, Jeon Jungkook-shi?” the elder calls when Jungkook is about to leave the room. “I have this urge to read this one book this morning, and I did. And now I really want to tell someone about it and you seem to be perfect.”


“Tell me what you have just read,” Jungkook walks back to the elder, “Yoonie.”


Nothing has changed.

The equation has always remained the same, I am him and he is me.

Jeon Jungkook exists because there is Min Yoongi and it works the other way around.





Return book three by Thursday

Take Holly for a walk and feed him

Bedroom is to the left of the living room

Take medication according to the time table in the kitchen

Hug Jungkook every time he is back from work

Namjoon is the one with dimples and deep voice

Tell Jungkook you love him

Remind Jungkook you love him


Jungkook is the one with—



Jungkook is the one with a book on his hand on your tenth anniversary.