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Coffee and food make everything better

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It’s getting close to 11p.m and you ’re sitting on your sofa with a book in hand when there is a knock on your door. You turn your head to it and frown. Usually only one person would call this late, but you haven’t heard from Frank in months now. You stand up and walk over to the door, heart in your throat. When you look through the peephole and see that it actually is Frank on the other side, you nearly can’t believe it. You put your forehead against the door’s cool surface and close your eyes, stalling. You don’t know if you’re more angry because he hasn’t contacted you in so long, making you worry, or glad to see him in one piece. There is another knock and this time you open, a bit aggressively, so apparently the anger won out.

Frank is wearing his usual getup but this time he also has a black leather jacket on as the weather has gotten colder since the last time you saw him.

You’re looking at each other in bated silence. You have one hand still on the doorknob and the other balled into a fist on your hip. Frank is standing straight with his hands in his jacket. He might seem unperturbed to anyone else but you can see he’s waiting for something from you.

“‘bout time, asshole…” you finally grit out with a glare and turn around, walking back into your apartment and to the living room, leaving the door open for him.

You hear him step inside and close the door. “Guess I deserve that” he rasps.

“The fuck, Frank?” you spit as you turn back to face him, arms crossed.

“Just wanted to give you some time to think” he replies, looking down and back up at you, one hand coming up to rub at his neck.

“And you thought I needed four months for that?” you explode, arms flying apart in consternation and anger. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? Do you realise I have no way to contact you? No way to find out if you’re even still alive. I don’t even know if Curtis knows about me and if he would tell me if you’re alright or not... If what happened between us is supposed to be just a one time thing, that’s fine, okay? That’s fine! But you can’t just vanish on me like that. We’re supposed to be fucking friends, Frank. And no matter how you feel about me, that doesn’t change . I deserve better than that...”

“Exactly, you do deserve better than that!” he cuts you off and starts walking up and down in front of you, clearly agitated and you’re momentarily struck silent at this. “I’m not good for anyone and especially not for you. Every time I get close to someone, they end up gettin’ hurt because of me, because of who I am and what I’ve done.” Frank stills and stops in front of you but he isn’t looking at you. His eyes are sad and fixed somewhere to your left as if remembering something. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and full of regret “Not so long ago, just before Billy reappeared, I met this girl, Beth, in Michigan… she was great... and I didn’t expect to meet someone new, but we kinda clicked. And you know what? It only took two days for shit to hit the fan again and she nearly got killed because of me.” His eyes reach yours again. “I can’t let that happen to you, sweetheart. I already put you in enough danger only by hidin’ here so often when all that shit was goin’ on. I can’t risk you gettin’ hurt because of me. I already care too much … I can’t lose you too.”

You stare at each other in silence again. Then you sit down on the coffee table just behind you, all fight leaving you. Your hands come up to rub over your face and your fingers end up in your hair, tugging slightly. Then you rest your hands on your neck and sigh deeply, head bowed low over your chest. Frank sits down on the couch in front of you but stays quiet.

Well, that actually explains quite a lot. How could you still be angry with him after this kind of confession? That was probably the longest you’ve heard Frank talk in one go. You’ve always known that he is a man of few words, preferring action but you hadn’t expected that.

You lift your head to look at him again and you can tell he’s miserable. You sigh again but in fond exasperation this time.

“You know, if we did this ”, you gesture between the two of you, referring to your conversation, “more often, things would be easier.”

Frank snorts softly and looks down at the floor. “Never been the best with words” he mumbles.

“Yeah… I kinda noticed” you tell him kindly but some things still needed to be said. “Frank, do you know what the difference is between this Beth and me?” Frank frowns and shakes his head once minutely. “She doesn’t know you… I’m not trying to belittle what happened between you two..  but what could she know about you in just two days? Whereas I know you Frank… I don’t pretend that I know everything but I know enough. I know enough to know that I wanna be there for you. Anyway you’d want me… I’m not asking for any kind of commitment or promises from you and I’m not declaring my undying love or anything -” Frank snorts and smirks. “- but if this little thing between us was just a one time thing, as I said before, that’s okay, but if not… well, you know where to find me.” you finish with a one shoulder shrug and a half smile.

Frank huffs out a self deprecating laugh. “You shouldn’t want me, Sweetheart. You really shouldn’t… I’m not a good man. You deserve someone who wouldn’t get you into danger every damn day. You should find some nice dude, one who would treat you right... with a regular job from nine to five or somethin’. Have a normal life, far away from me.”

“Well, wouldn’t that just be boring-” you start, trying to lighten the mood but Frank isn’t having it.

“Boring but safe ” he bellows and you jump at his outburst. “I won’t be able to forgive myself if somethin’ happened to you…” he trails off, rubbing a hand over his mouth and sighing dejectedly. Once again, silence comes over you but after a few minutes, you decide to power through.  

“Listen, I get why you worry… I’m not stupid... but you need to know that I trust you… implicitly. And I know that you would do anything to protect me. Of course I’ve thought about the consequences of hiding you. About what could happen to me if the wrong people found out. But I trust the fact that when you come here, you’ve taken all the precautions you could to make sure I’ll be safe. And to me, that’s enough.”

“It shouldn’t be-“ he starts again, but this time you stop him.

“No Frank! I’ve made my choice. I’m not going anywhere, you hear? You can’t just push people out of your life like that. That’s not how it works. You can’t just appear in someone’s life, make them care and then when you decide it’s too dangerous or you’re not good enough, just push them away. That’s not fair to them. I get why you do it… doesn’t mean I’m accepting it. You are a good man and to me you are worth it. So yes, you’ve done terrible things and I know you’re already thinking that I only know the smallest part of them but that doesn’t mean you’re bad. You are fighting the bad guys. So no matter what you’re gonna say next, you’re stuck with me… the only way…” you take a deep yet shaky breath before continuing because if Frank listens to your next words, you might lose him. “... the only way to stop this, is for you to stop coming here and never see me again. Because as I said earlier… I don’t have any way to contact you.” you finish in a miserable whisper and sadness in your eyes.

Frank sits there with his legs spread wide like he always does, his upper body is supported by his elbows which are resting on his thighs, hands dangling in between them. He stares at you for a long moment, eyes roaming over your face, like he is looking for answers and you don’t dare avert your eyes. Now more than ever, the decision lies in his hands. After a while he sighs and looks down, shaking his head.

“Why are all the women in my life so stubborn?” he finally asks and you can’t help laughing at the exasperation in his voice.

“It’s one of the many things we’re good at” you reply playfully and he squints up at you and rolls his eyes.

“’m not makin’ any promises, Darling-”

“I’m not asking for any” you hurry to ensure.

You are so, so happy that he didn’t just up and leave that you can’t help the giddy grin that settles on your face. Frank watches you and huffs out a small laugh at your reaction. He shakes his head and one hand comes up to scratch his nose.

“Great, now that we cleared that up, how about some coffee, huh?” you stand from your seat on the table and head for your kitchen, exhilaration showing in your every move. “I received this new blend just this morning and ended up brewing way to much in my excitement to taste it. I’ve got this huge thermos bottle full of it so if you’re interested, I can give you some. I’m sure you’ll love it”

The next few minutes are filled with your happy chatter about new coffee and delicious new cake recipes you are trying out for your shop. Frank is taking of his jacket as you are filling a huge bag with all the good stuff for him and moving all around the room. He just watches you silently with a soft expression and exasperation when you stub your foot against one of your bar stools in your excitement.

Once you’re done, you head back to the living room with the bulging bag in your arms. You come to a stop next to Frank and you put it on the coffee table, careful not to spill the content.

“There you go. Now you’re all set for any kind of stake out. You can keep the thermos bottle by the way” you turn to Frank for a second to give him a quick grin before turning back again. “I put some of the ground beans into a small jar as well, so you can make yourself some coffee wherever you are.”

You are so engrossed in telling Frank all about the different things you got for him, that you don’t see him reaching for you. All you know is that all of a sudden he is tugging at your arm to turn you around to face him and one hand comes up to grab you behind your neck to pull you down to him. You only have time to break your fall by placing your hand on his thigh before he’s kissing you. At first you are so shocked that you just lie awkwardly across him. But as unexpected as the kiss is, because let’s face it, you didn’t think Frank would touch you again in this way, once your brain gets on with the program, you move nearly instinctively, backing up a fraction to get a better angle. Frank kisses just like you imagined he would. He’s fierce and demanding with his tongue pushing into your mouth greedily and his hand fisting in your hair. But he is gentle in the way that he doesn’t keep you in place and lets you move however you like. Giving you an out if you want it.

You do push back, breaking the kiss and he lets you go willingly like you expected, but it’s only to straddle his lap and get into a better position to enjoy everything more. The moment you’re done and are about to dive right back in, Frank stops you with his hands on your shoulders though, holding you still.

“No promises, alright?” he tells you again and there is some kind of desperation in his eyes.

You sigh fondly and smile.

“No promises” you nod and this time when you lean into him again, he meets you halfway.

You lace your arms around his neck and Frank does the same around your middle, crushing you against him. It’s been a while since you’ve been kissed this way and you pour all your feelings into it to make Frank understand that you meant every single word you said. Because you understand and you did say ‘no commitment’. You’ll take what he is willing to give you. He replies by grabbing your hair again and groaning deeply as he pushes you down on himself. You can feel his arousal through your clothes and you grind your hips over it in slow but precise movements. Frank grunts and pushes his own hips up. You smirk into the kiss and decide that this time, nothing will keep you from giving back some pleasure. It escalates from there. Your lips are sliding messily against each others, tongues dipping in and out. He bites your lower lip and you retaliate by biting and sucking on his tongue. Your body keeps rocking slowly on his lap and he’s gripping your hips hard and bucking up into you while growling and grunting steadily.

You are both breathing hard when you decide to release his lips and get off his lap to slither down between his still spread thighs. He doesn’t stop you as you do it. Frank is apparently happy to let you set the pace.

"How about you let me make it up to you this time, hm?” you ask, biting your lip on a wicked grin.

Frank’s chest is raising and falling rapidly and his eyes are dark and intense from arousal. You are proud to be the one to put that look on his face and you savour your own twinge of arousal coursing through you at the sight and knowledge.

Frank answers by spreading his arms the length of the back of the couch and slouching down a bit to get more comfortable.

You smirk and reach up to unbuckle his belt and undo his jeans. Then you tug at them and the underwear and Frank complies immediately by lifting up and helping you get them down to mid thigh. You are then greeted by his gorgeous, thick dick, reaching over neatly trimmed pubic hair. You bite your lip in anticipation and look up to meet his sharp gaze. You keep eye contact while you reach out for his cock before smiling seductively and licking one broad stripe from base to tip, making him tense for a second. Your smile gets bigger at his reaction and you repeat the movement very slowly a few times, never looking away. You angle your head and suck at one side of his cock, up and down, adding saliva all over him as you alternate from right to left and right again. You have to break eye contact when you do the same with the under and upside as well, going from sucking to licking when switching sides. The hand that holds his cock upright stays still though and you never take him into your mouth. Though you can tell Frank is getting a bit desperate for you to do so as he can’t seem to help the little upward motions his hips do when you get close to the head. You chuckle and decide to give him something for his obvious attempt at restraint by attaching your lips just under the gland and sucking hard. His reaction is immediate as punched out expletives escape Frank’s mouth and his arms come back to the seat of the couch so his hands can grab the cushions there. You can’t help but grin in satisfaction as you release the suction and start licking around the head with your pointed tongue instead.

“You’re a fuckin’ tease, you know that?” Frank’s words are a bit breathless.

“Didn’t you know that payback’s a bitch?” you smirk smugly while you keep licking.

Frank groans, frustrated and out of the corner of your eyes you can see the small aborted mouvements his hands do as if wanting to touch you but not sure what he should do. Now this won’t do. You want him to lose all his composure and control. So you lift your head and angle him more toward your mouth. You wait until Frank locks eyes with you again when he notices you stopped moving and then very slowly, wrap your lips around him, going gradually down, down, down until the head hits your throat.

“Fuuuuck!” Frank growls and his hands finally move into action as one goes right into your hair, not pushing or pulling, just there and the other one to the side of your face, stroking the top of your cheek with a thumb.

You hum, delighted you managed to get such a response to your ministrations and Frank hisses at the vibrations and lets his head fall back against the headrest. You then start bobbing your head, alternating between slow and fast and sucking hard every time you come up while the hand previously holding him is stroking what you can’t reach with your lips, earning grunts and praise from Frank here and there.

The hand in your hair never pushes you, the grip gets tighter with your change of pace but it never pushes or holds you still. And you love it. The idea of Frank taking what he wants from you, holding your face as he fucks your mouth is definitely arousing and you’ve thought about it often enough, but tonight, you want to be in charge of your every move. Give back as much as he gave you. His other hand travels from cheek to lips and to your throat in a continuous caress, making you shiver in the best way and double your efforts. You’ve missed his hands.

“Shit, sweetheart… feels so good… so fuckin’ good!”

His words make you tingle all over in pride but you want to keep him from coming right now. He took his time teasing you and you intend to do the same. So you release his cock with a pop and start mouthing around him, dragging your lips from his balls to the tip and back again and again, poking your tongue out at times to wet and smooth the glide. You give soft and strong sucks every now and then and stroke him slowly in a loose grip.

“Fuck, fuck... you really got it out for me, huh? That’s some bad ass torture there, shit!”

You look back up to see him watching you intently, eyes dark, lips parted on deep inhales and exhales but smiling lightly in obvious pleasure. You grin back and take the head back into your mouth and suck, tongue licking over the slit. Frank curses and bucks his hips involuntarily and you smirk. He tugs at your hair lightly in retaliation and you moan and inhale deeply through your nose. Frank smirks this time and tugs again and you only suck harder and rub a finger over his balls in small circles.

“Fuck yes! Just…” Frank starts but seems too stubborn to keep going. So you stop what you’re doing and Frank makes a movement as if wanting to stop your head from moving away, but stops immediately. He keeps his hand where it is though and glowers at you. The only thing you keep doing is rubbing just under the head of his cock with one thumb very slowly.

You try to stare each other down but then Frank closes his eyes briefly and swallows.

“Please…” he rumbles deeply and you give him a wolfish grin before swallowing him back down.

“Holy sh…” Frank exclaims and his hands tighten once more.

Now you are in for the grand finale, you decide to pull out all the stops. You take him into a tight grip and jerk him in time with your mouth going down on him. You lift your gaze toward his again and you can tell in how his abdominal muscles are contracting and how his breathing is getting harsher, that he is getting very close. Frank’s eyes wander quickly from your own eyes to your mouth and his left hand wraps loosely under your chin, thumb on your lower lip and fingers on your jaw, pushing you lightly from him.

“I’m close, babygirl” he warns but you won’t move. You don’t want to. So you push back forwards and suck even harder and then Frank is coming. He closes his eyes and groans loudly, both hands end up in your hair, fingers tensing and releasing. You moan in satisfaction when you feel the hot spurts of his cum landing on your tongue and keep sucking until he’s done. Once you’re sure he is and his fingers have slackened enough, you release his spent cock and push back into a more comfortable kneeling position in front of him and watch him trying to catch his breath. When Frank opens his eyes again, they are relaxed and looking at you in dazed amazement.

“Fuck…” he chuckles and rakes his hands through his short hair. “You sure know how to take revenge”

You laugh smugly and stand up to sit next to him and Frank moves to do his pants up again.

“Glad you learned your lesson” you tease and adjust your position so you’re facing him.

Frank snorts and nods in silent acknowledgement of defeat. He takes the same position you just took, arm resting on the back of the couch and watches you for a moment. You just stare back, waiting. His eyes does that thing where they sweep over your whole face, looking for something. Then he leans forward and kisses you, softly at first and then with more heat. You moan into the kiss and press yourself into his chest, hands landing on his neck. Your body wants nothing more than get its own release but you’re to content right now to move things further. Frank doesn’t push you and you stay locked in this embrasse for a little while, just enjoying the kiss. It then slowly goes from heated making out to light brushes of lips until you both pull away from one another. You smile softly and bask in the peace and quiet of the moment. Until a huge yawn nearly unhinges your jaw. Frank laughs under his breath and kisses your brown affectionately.

“Guess I better get goin’” he says lightly and gets up. “’ll try comin’ by earlier next time.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t hold” you tease and stand up as well.

Frank snorts and nods a few times in agreement. “Fair enough”

You pick up the nearly forgotten bag from the coffee table and lead Frank back to the door.

You hold it out for him and he takes it with a soft “Thanks”.

“Tell me what you thought about all of it next time, yeah?” you ask happily.

The look Frank gives you is fond but serious at the same time and leaves you intrigued.

“What?” you question, folding your arms under your breasts.

He’s quiet for a beat before he speaks and looks down before meeting your eyes again. He does that a lot you’ve noticed.

“That’s why I can’t bring myself to never come back again… whatever happens… or whatever I say or do… you never stop bein’ sweet ‘n happy,... believin’ that coffee and food can make things good again… It makes me feel fuckin’ selfish sometimes because I don’t want to mess that up for you… but you help me back up when I’m on my lowest… I come from such a dark place and you just… make it feel better… brighter…”

Once he’s done, you can only stare while your face heats up at his words. Your arms come loose and just hang at your sides. You are utterly speechless in your shock. You knew Frank cared about you even before tonight, but never would you have expected any of this.

Finally you opt for just hugging the hell out of him and you throw your arms around his neck.

“I’ll always be there for you, Frank” you whisper into his shoulder and you feel him wrap his arms around you as well and squeeze, the bag he’s still holding poking you in the back but you don’t care.

You both let go then and Frank doesn’t meet your eyes this time. You can tell he’s kind of embarrassed. He clears his throat then and opens the door.

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” he says and looks at you again, composure back in place.

“As long as you don’t make me wait four months again…” you joke.

“Not gonna let me live this down, huh?” he laughs.

“Nope”

“”night, sweetheart” he breaths with a half smile.

“”night, Frank”

And just like last time, he vanishes into the elevator. You close the door and head into your bedroom and then bathroom to get ready for bed. You’ve had a long day and the evening has exhausted you physically and mentally. But you’re in a good head space.

As you lay in your bed a little while later, you think back to everything Frank told you tonight and can’t help but smile.