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a promise of hope is enough to feel free

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Thank you my friend, I won't forget you

I'll cherish all the moments with you

Thank you my friend, I won't forget you

Let's meet again in the same place

Trying to stop time to relive our memories

 

-

 

Changbin had always said that Hyunjin was the sun and he was the moon.

It had been from a poem he had written;

“You were the sun,

I, your moon.

Maybe that’s why I don’t shine as bright anymore,

For without her Sun,

The Moon cannot shine.”

Changbin had been very over dramatic and had written it when Hyunjin had left for vacation for only a month. But he was like that. Changbin had always been the one to miss people easily.

Hyunjin misses him so much.

If the sun could go on without the moon, why does Hyunjin feel so empty?




Hyunjin and Changbin had been friends ever since middle school when Changbin had plopped himself down onto the seat next to Hyunjin after he had introduced himself to the class. Changbin had been a year older than him, and transferred to Hyunjin’s school halfway through the year. After the initial awkwardness, they had bonded over how lost they were in their English class and had helped each other improve. If Hyunjin says so himself, he’s definitely better than Changbin in speaking English, though the boy would disagree.

But Changbin would never get to fight with him in broken English now, since he was six feet underground.

His death had been unexpected, Hyunjin couldn’t get himself to believe for two days, he had gone about his life, pretending that his dear friend was somewhere, anywhere but the cruel hands of death. He pushed everyone away and pretended everything was fine up until Changbin’s music production teacher approached him with tears in her eyes, and that was the moment he cracked. The moment which he would remember where his heart had shattered into pieces that could never be woven back together, where he let himself feel and he cried in the arms of a woman he barely knew.

Hyunjin went to Changbin’s house with a broken heart, ready to fall even deeper into the darkness he’d been in for the past days which seemed like years. When he got there he didn’t expect to be welcomed with a cup of tea and face Changbin’s mom who’d been nothing but kind to him. Hyunjin hadn’t cried when she had sobbed his son’s name in his arms, hadn’t cried when he looked around the house that he spent dreaming under the roof in. Hyunjin finally cried as he took in the state of his best friend’s -his brother’s room. Everything was the same as it usually was - bedsheets tangled, LP records displaying his favorite artists, his production setup turned off. He sobbed as he hugged Changbin’s pillow tight to his chest and let himself be overwhelmed with just how Changbin everything was with the way everything smelled of the boy he’d shared everything with. He let himself shake, not calming down like he normally would with the help of him . Every time things got too loud, too much, too overwhelming, Changbin had been there to calm him down, to hug him, to whisper encouragements to his ear, to be the family Hyunjin never had.

But all of that was gone in a land far far away where Hyunjin would never see the person he cared the most about.

 

Hyunjin didn’t cry as he stood with the crowd in the rain in his funeral. It seemed like the sky was doing his job for him, crying, mourning for the boy he loved with all his heart, crying for his brother.

Crying for the boy who he’d shared secrets with, shared dreams with, shared tears and disappointment with, shared sleepovers with, shared his life with, shared who he was with. He let himself be overwhelmed only after everyone had left the graveyard and it was only him and his best friend. He cried his heart out as he left a single daisy on his grave, watered by his and the tears of countless others. He fell down to his knees with the force of his sobs and kissed the gravestone. Every time Hyunjin had exhausted himself by crying in his arms, Changbin had always kissed atop his head as he fell asleep. A charm of love to protect you as you sleep, he’d said when Hyunjin had asked why. Now Hyunjin was the one wishing upon the stars for him to be safe, for him to rest well and wake up with happiness in his blooming chest.

Only thing wrong was that Changbin wouldn’t wake up, no matter how many times Hyunjin pleaded the stars, the only thing he got back were puffy eyes from crying and an empty feeling in his chest where he had left his heart with his friend.