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Josuke barreled through the house to pick up the phone, narrowly avoiding table corners and waving off a yell from his mom. He answered the phone to screaming buzzing through the receiver.

“Mr. Kujo?” he said over the din. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“It’s Jolyne,” said Jotaro. Josuke realized the shouting sounded like a young girl.

“Oh, no,” said Josuke, preparing to dash out of the house. “Do you need Crazy Diamond?”

“She’s been wanting to have her hair dyed. We just passed some dye in the store, and I told her no, and now—”


Jolyne’s screaming sounded more like chanting from a tantrum on the end of the line as there was silence between them. Josuke dropped the shoes he’d been wrestling on onto the floor.

“Can you help?” said Jotaro. “You know more about, uh, that, than me. No, no, Jolyne, don’t touch that.”

“Uh, I don’t,” said Josuke, dragging a hand over his face as his heartbeat slowed. “Dye my hair. Okuyasu does, though.”

Jotaro paused. Jolyne continued screaming.

“Would you ask him?” Jotaro muttered, almost inaudible through the speakers.

“I’m sure he’d be up to it,” said Josuke. “He really likes Jolyne.”

“Yes, I know,” grunted Jotaro. After a pause, “What do I get?”

“Just the dye and bleach. It should have everything in there already.”

“Bleach?” Jotaro’s voice shuddered just a little bit, almost unnoticeable.

“Hair bleach.”

“Okay,” said Jotaro after a pause. “I’ll be there in an hour. Jolyne, Jolyne, we’re going to get your—“

The line cut off to a buzz. Josuke blinked.

“Sure,” he muttered to himself as he dialed a number. “Not like I have other things to do.”

He didn’t.

“Hey, Oku?” he said into the phone.


Jolyne arrived with Jotaro in tow, who was juggling boxes in his free hand. They wrangled her into the kitchen as she ducked between three long pairs of legs.

Okuyasu reached down for a high five as she entered the house.

“Hey, little dude,” said Okuyasu. Jolyne got excited whenever he greeted her like a cool kid in a movie.

“Dude!” mimicked Jolyne in a scratchy voice.

Okuyasu sat her on a chair in front of the sink. He took up the box of bleach in hand, Josuke coming up behind him and Jotaro taking a step back against the kitchen table.

“In my buns,” Jolyne was saying as Okuyasu picked her up by under her arms. “And in the back.”

Okuyasu nodded sagely, holding the box out to Jolyne.

“I have to bleach your hair first,” he explained. “So the color shows up.”

Jolyne nodded at him, wide eyed and feet swinging between the legs of the chair.

“Be careful with that,” Jotaro huffed as Okuyasu dug through the box of bleach mix.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Kujo,” said Okuyasu absentmindedly, upturning the box on the counter. As he saw Jotaro give him a frown, edges of his lips slightly pinching downward, he added, “Of course.”

Okuyasu mixed the bleach together with gusto, before pausing to take a look at the messy head of hair in front of him.

“Do you have, like, any clips?”

“Dunno,” said Josuke.

“You definitely have hair stuff,” said Okuyasu. “Go get some. I wanna section her hair out.”

Josuke tramped upstairs. He returned with many small, practical clips, hair ties, and a couple barrettes left over from his early days of growing out his hair. He dropped his horde on the counter.

Okuyasu began pulling Jolyne’s hair apart. He took out the buns, tying them off separately from the rest of her hair. Josuke helped him pull the ponytail at the base of her skull into place. Too many thick fingers were trying to work around the hair, and Okuyasu pinched Josuke with a clip. The boyfriends had to navigate around each other to tame the strands of hair. They gave a final pull, before stepping back to admire their work. Jolyne gave them an encouraging smile, nervous about how her hair stuck out from the ties.

Okuyasu pulled on the gloves from the box, lathered some bleach onto the brush and painted a stripe down her hair.

Soon enough, Jolyne’s head was smothered with bleach and Okuyasu was wrapping strips of tin foil around locks of her hair.

“It keeps the bleach from bleeding onto other parts,” he explained, partly to Jolyne and partly to Jotaro, whose incredulous expression he avoided. He took a closer look at the box of dye Jolyne had chosen.

“Oh, this is going to bleed everywhere,” he said.

“Like, here?” hissed Josuke.

“Definitely, when I wash it out. And on her pillowcase,” he added sheepishly. Jotaro just let a slightly heavier puff of air out through his nose.

The pair of boys managed to keep Jolyne contained to her chair long enough for the bleach to activate. Okuyasu rolled the foil out of her hair and carefully leaned her over the sink. The way Jotaro loomed over him from the kitchen counter only made him more sparing with the way he ran water through Jolyne’s hair.

Jolyne had chosen an electric green for her color. Josuke didn’t realize anywhere in Morioh would sell that color, if they didn’t have any salons that would do a dye job like that in the first place.

Jolyne worried for a minute about how dark it looked.

“I do this all the time,” said Okuyasu, combing a hand back through the grey of his hair. “No sweat.”

“No sweat,” mirrored Jolyne. Her legs kept swinging on the stool.

It took two pairs of hands for Josuke and Okuyasu to get the dye out of Jolyne’s hair. A stained sink and one ruined towel later, Josuke was trying to pin it back up into the style she liked. He worked a green braid into the mix, stepping back with a flourish.

Jolyne took off deeper into the house, flying to the bathroom and hoisting herself onto the sink. She squealed, before reentering the kitchen after Jotaro herded her back.

She pulled Okuyasu’s thighs into a tight hug. He patted her back, careful to avoid the newly colored hair.

“Say thank you,” said Jotaro.

“Thank you!” beamed Jolyne.

Jotaro gave a curt thanks himself before prying Jolyne off of Okuyasu. He finally stepped out of the house, Jolyne repeating “no sweat” to him in a deep voice.

“You’re good with kids,” Josuke observed with adoration.

“I always get worried I’m gonna scare ‘em off,” said Okuyasu.

“Come on, you’re not scary.”

“No?” challenged Okuyasu. He pulled up to where Josuke was leaning on the counter, boxing him in.

“Maybe when you were trying to kill me when we met,” said Josuke, placing a hand on Okuyasu’s chest to push him back. “But you’re too soft now.”

“I’m a hardened delinquent!”

“You cried when Jolyne brought you some flowers she picked.”

“I’m allergic.”

“Mmhmm,” said Josuke, just taking a minute to smile at his boyfriend’s bashfulness. “Now, help me clean my sink.”