Chapter 1: Intro
The8: K so when are we going out for bowling again?
Yugyeom: you know... when SOMEONE's finally back in the country
DK: *cough* Jungkook *cough*
Jungkook: Oh so it's my fault now? What about jae and bam huh??
Jaehyun: listen it's one thing to be out of the country for a month and another to be out for a YEAR
Jungkook: excuse you it's 10 months
Mingyu: SAME DIFFERENCE
Bambam: and besides i leave for like what?
Bambam: two weeks at max
Jungkook: not fair.
The8: back to my point
The8: all of you hurry the fuck up and get your asses over here so I can beat them in bowling
DK: babe you suck at bowling
The8: SAYS YOU
The8: YOU LITERALLY KNOCKED DOWN PINS ON THE OTHER LANE
DK: not the point.
Bambam: lmaooo that was hilarious
Yugyeom: is that a challenge Xu Minghao???
Mingyu: full name lads
Mingyu: shits about to get serious
The8: listen here you fucking giant
The8: I have nunchucks and I'm not afraid to use them.
Yugyeom: oh yeah??
Yugyeom: bet you wouldn't mind if one of your boyfriends used them
DK: actually i think wonwoo did use them once
Bambam: RIP IN PEACE
Bambam: THAT'S AWESOME
Jaehyun: THAT'S HORRIFYING
Mingyu: ah come on jae don't pretend you're not kinky now
Mingyu: your group practically revealed your crossdressing kink back in halloween
Jaehyun: that's different
The8: whatever floats your goat sweetheart
Bambam: hey yug
Bambam: you think jinyoung would mind using nunchucks??
Yugyeom: DO NOT
Jungkook: who the FUCK left their dirty underwear in my suitcase
Jungkook: yikes wrong group
Jaehyun: tmi jungkook tmi
Jungkook: oh please you act as if we don't know all about your sex life with your 91376219 boyfriends
Jaehyun: alright sheesh sorry man
Jaehyun: besides what are you calling me out for? You literally have no shame on us when it comes to your 7 boyfriends
Jungkook: 7?? Bro you know they're 6
Jaehyun: ah right my bad
Jaehyun: I forgot Jin-hyung had the shoulder capacity for two people
Bambam: LMAOOOO TRUE
DK: Mingyu literally has water splashing out of his nose from how hard he laughed
Mingyu: I'M ALIVE
DK: if i ever decide to hang out with bam and yug alone ever again
DK: someone kick me in the balls
DK: @Mingyu @Jaehyun @Jungkook @The8
Yugyeom: you're just jealous that your boyfriends couldn't be with you
DK: SO YOU DECIDE TO DEEPTHROAT HIM??
Yugyeom: I DID NOT
DK: DID TO
Yugyeom: DID NOT
Bambam: (he did fyi @Mingyu @Jungkook @Jaehyun @The8)
Yugyeom: are you on my side or his??
Mingyu: Yug babe
Mingyu: there's no point in lying
Mingyu: we've all seen it happen before
Yugyeom: disloyal fuckers
Yugyeom: you guys never support me
Jungkook: and miss the chance to make fun of you??
The8: not today sweetheart
Yugyeom: I hate you all.
Chapter 2: Of Timezones and Directions
In which someone gets lost.
Bc who cares for accurate timing??
I actually have no idea if the timezones are correlating or not so please excuse me lmao
3:12 AM Korea Time
Yugyeom: DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT
Yugyeom: FUCK YOU
Yugyeom: YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK
DK: what's going on?
Bambam: I'M SORRY
Bambam: WHY YOU GOTTA EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS ON THE GROUP
Bambam: also @DK shouldn't you be sleeping?
DK: don't worry about it
DK: Seungkwans hogging the blankets again
Yugyeom: YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT
Bambam: YOU WEREN'T ANSWERING SO I CALLED
Jaehyun: isn't it like 3 AM in korea rn
Bambam: ALL I WANTED TO KNOW WAS WHETHER YOU WANTED THAT BOMBER JACKET YOU LIKED IN WHITE OR BLUE
Bambam: IT'S HALF PRICE HERE IN MILAN
Yugyeom: I FUCKING HATE YOU KUNPIMOOK BHUWAKUL
Yugyeom: I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP
Yugyeom: also blue.
Bambam: fucking knew it
Jungkook: damn someone's pissy when woken up
Bambam: you don't know the half of it man
DK: well not that watching yug deck bam wasn't fun
DK: but i'm gonna try to get some sleep
Jungkook: is that sarcasm i detect
Jaehyun: next time
Jaehyun: just get both and steal one
Bambam: why didn't i think of that
8:25 AM Korea Time
Mingyu: what we miss
The8: tf happened here
DK: don't worry about it
The8: shut up
Mingyu: how can someone
The8: shut up
Mingyu: be so bad at directions???
The8: would you like to engage in the act of silencing yourself
Jaehyun: lmao what's making Seokmin laugh so hard??
Mingyu: alright kids storytime!
Jungkook: oh this is gonna be good
The8: I will fucking murder you in your sleep Kim Mingyu
Jaehyun: hey seok does minghao have smoke coming out of his ears?
Mingyu: seoks too busy busting a lung to reply
Mingyu: so I'm just sitting down with my hyungs minding our own business
Jaehyun: making out you mean
Mingyu: listen jeonghan hyung got a new choker and he looks absolutely amazing in it
Mingyu: what am i gonna do? Say no?
The8: Do fucking not.
Yugyeom: hey min lock your door or something
DK: don't worry about it
Mingyu: when all of a sudden i hear yelling from downstairs
The8: LET ME GO YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Mingyu: so we look down and what do we see??
Mingyu: Minghao being scolded by the angry old lady that lives in the next building
DK: very loudly might we add
Mingyu: turns out
The8: Fuck you all.
Mingyu: he forgot where his own building was and entered the wrong one
Jungkook: LMAOOOO HOW CAN SOMEONE FORGOT THEIR OWN BUILDING
The8: I DIDN'T I JUST WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION
Jaehyun: didn't you also once forget where your school was and ended going to a completely different school on the other side of town?
The8: I love death and dying.
DK: YES HE DID
DK: HIS MOM SWORE IT
The8: I've lived a good life.
Yugyeom: im not saying that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard
Yugyeom: but that's exactly what im saying
Mingyu: kook busted a lung yet?
Jungkook: IM IN TEARS
The8: imma just go throw myself out the window now
Jaehyun: and risk letting the old lady get to you?
The8: FUCK NO
Yugyeom: rip in peace
Bambam: what i miss
Bambam: LMAOOO HOW CAN SOMEONE FORGET THEIR OWN BUILDING
The8: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
Chapter 3: Of Kinks and Discussions
In which, a very serious discussion is opened.
Jaehyun: alright so does anyone want anything from the US
Bambam: what a generous offer
Bambam: what's going on?
Jaehyun: i just decided to be a nice human being
DK: thanks man but nothing
Jungkook: I'm good thanks jae
Jaehyun: don't you have a concert in like 10 mins
Yugyeom: american chocolate!!
Jaehyun: lmao idk if they'll survive on the plane but sure
Mingyu: ummmm no clue
The8: just get him a new mop or something
Mingyu: OH OH THE ONE WITH THE NEW TWIST FEATURE???
Mingyu: THAT WAY I CAN GET INTO THE HARDEST CORNERS
Mingyu: AND CLEAN THAT NASTY SPOT BEHIND CHAN'S BED
Jaehyun: ... he reminds me of Taeyong.
Bambam: do you guys make him roleplay as a maid or butler or something
The8: mm sometimes yeah
DK: he cums the hardest when we do
Jaehyun: oo tae-hyung does too!!
Jungkook: now that i'm free for a tiny while
Jungkook: we have matters to discuss.
Jungkook: we have revealed on this group that NCT has a huge crossdressing kink and that both NCT and Seventeen take parts in a roleplaying kink
Jaehyun: please don't tell me this is going where I think its going
Jungkook: oh yes
Jungkook: so what are your kinks??? :DDDD
Mingyu: kook wtf
Jungkook: how are we supposed to be best buds forever if we don't know all of our kinks?!
Jungkook: it's for bonding purposes!
Yugyeom: bonding purposes? Or ideas for your next orgy
Jaehyun: fucking knew it
Bambam: ight so praise, powerplay, bondage
DK: Woah woah you're into bondage??
Jaehyun: why are we like this
The8: you're asking me @jaehyun
Yugyeom: it's one of his biggest kinks
Jungkook: and is there a specific way to be tied up?
Mingyu: kook seriously wtf
Jungkook: i'm bored and horny
Jaehyun: you're always horny
Jungkook: SAYS YOU
DK: i think all of us in this group are always horny
Jungkook: I won't ask anymore.
Yugyeom: Bam also crossdresses
DK: oh yeahhh i remember his MAMA outfit and nails
DK: great outfit btw
Bambam: why thank you
*Jaehyun has left the group.*
*Mingyu has added Jaehyun into the group.*
Mingyu: do not act as if Ten wasn't sucking your dick like 10 minutes ago
Jaehyun: i hate you all.
SEVENTEEN'S COMEBACK Y'ALL
THEY JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER
Chapter 4: Of Dances and Drinks
In which, someone wants to go drinking.
Bambam: I have a question
Jaehyun: what's up
Bambam: how come we've never talked about how gay seventeens choreos are
Yugyeom: omg true
Bambam: like all that hand-holding and shit
Bambam: @The8 @DK @Mingyu are you trying to expose yourselves???
The8: pft noo
Mingyu: it just so happens that the choreos like that
Bambam: and i just so happen to have a dildo up my ass
Jungkook: omg i never paid attention
Jungkook: so true
Jungkook: its like a sophisticated orgy
DK: oh says you
DK: DNA??? Fake Love??? Blood Sweat and Tears man
Yugyeom: LMAOOO HE'S RIGHT
Jaehyun: I'm impressed
The8: ??? With what
Jaehyun: Bam actually said something smart for once
Bambam: I will murder you Jung Yoonoh.
Jaehyun: come at me bro
Yugyeom: hey didn't jae rank one of the tops in physical strength or something?
Bambam: on second thought, im good!!
Jaehyun: that's more like it.
Mingyu: did you send a pic of your new dorm to flex or something?
Jungkook: what i meant to say was
Jungkook: I'M BACK IN KOREA BABY
Yugyeom: TAKE COVER
The8: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
Bambam: HIDE YOUR CHILDREN
Mingyu: HIDE YOUR DOGS
Jungkook: oh for fucks sake
Jungkook: i really dont like you guys rn
Jaehyun: what they probably meant to say was
Jaehyun: Welcome back!!
Jungkook: thanks guys :')
Jungkook: you two have official been ranked my favorite best friends
Jungkook: everyone else can go suck dick
Yugyeom: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS
Yugyeom: I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME
Yugyeom: I DEMAND MY RIGHTS
Bambam: jokes on you what makes you think i wasnt sucking dick
Jungkook: you got me there.
Yugyeom: now that kooks back
Yugyeom: let's go drinking!!
DK: you want to go drinking?
Jaehyun: the baby of the group???
Jungkook: what is this sin????
Bambam: a tragedy!! Our sweet boy has been corrupted!!
Mingyu: tainted!! By the devil's desires!!
The8: what is this tragedy struck upon us?!
Yugyeom: are you all fucking high rn or something
DK: What is this foul language!!
Jungkook: who has dared to ruin our sweet innocent summer child!!
Yugyeom: i am literally two months younger than you
Jaehyun: we must gather together and cleanse his sins!
The8: we must brothers!
Yugyeom: Oh for fucks sake
Yugyeom: can you all shut up
Yugyeom: im literally taller than all of you
Mingyu: no you're not
Yugyeom: no im not
Yugyeom: BUT STILL
Bambam: we must purify this innocent soul!
Yugyeom: you know what
Yugyeom: why did i even bother
Yugyeom: i get the same reaction everytime i suggest we go drinking
Yugyeom: fuck you all
DK: so who wants to go drinking?
Yugyeom: I will gouge all of your eyes out.
Chapter 5: Of Crushes and Gangbangs
In which, someone gets gangbanged.
The8: did we ever tell you guys about Mingyu's massive crush on Mino from Winner
Jungkook: I mean, who wouldn't have a crush on that guy?
DK: But no forreal we have proof
PalmTree: He's just so fucking fine
PalmTree: I'd gladly be his fiancé
PalmTree: have you heard his voice
PalmTree: his eyes
Bambam: if I didn't know how in love you were with your group i'd suspect something
Jaehyun: fuck that i'm suspecting something
DK: Trust me
DK: if he had a chance
The8: we'd let him
PalmTree: he's so fucking gorgeous i'd gladly let him pin me down
PalmTree: when did my username change??
The8: and there's your proof
The8: Seok and I wanted to test how distracted you can get by Mino
The8: answer? Long enough to not notice us taking your phone and changing your username
Yugyeom: damn he really is whipped
Jungkook: ok but i'd do the same for GD
DK: my bisexual ass thirsts for her ok
DK: she can do whatever he wants with me
PalmTree: if i wasn't so whipped for Mino I'd agree
PalmTree: ok wait
*PalmTree changed his username to Mingyu*
Jaehyun: i liked palm tree better
Mingyu: you shut up
DK: I SAW HER
DK: AT THE STORE
Jaehyun: saw who?
The8: he saw hyuna
DK: I FUCKING SAW HYUNA
DK: SHE SMILED AT ME
The8: (she smiled at all of us)
DK: MY BISEXUAL ASS IS SHAKING
Yugyeom: there there seok
DK: IT WAS MAGICAL
Mingyu: he's literally bouncing from excitement
DK: THERE WAS A CONNECTION
DK: I FELT IT
The8: (she was being polite)
Jungkook: i'm sure there was seok
Bambam: she's probably overjoyed too
DK: I BELIEVE IT
DK: IT WAS BEAUTIFUL
The8: Mingyu? I think its time we put him to bed
Mingyu: i gotcha
Jaehyun: do we want to know?
The8: nah we'll just calm him down and maybe tie him up
Mingyu: grab the lube while i carry him?
The8: got it
Yugyeom: okayyy this is some freaky shit that the group does not need to know
Yugyeom: have fun you freaky shits
Bambam: @Jungkook @Jaehyun @DK @The8 @Mingyu
Bambam: would anyone be willing to adopt me into their group
The8: lmaoo what happened
Bambam: GOT7 is cancelled.
Bambam: that's what.
Jaehyun: @Yugyeom what did you do
Yugyeom: we're sorryyyyyy
Bambam: YOU BROKE MY ASS
Bambam: I CAN'T FEEL MY LOWER BACK
Jungkook: rough night bro?
Bambam: THEY GANGBANGED ME
Mingyu: so it was a rough night huh
Yugyeom: you know we love youuuu
Bambam: FUCK YOU
Yugyeom: come on
Yugyeom: i'll prepare you a bath
Yugyeom: with that purple bath bomb you like?
Yugyeom: and some wine
Yugyeom: how about that?
Bambam: UNFUCK YOU
Jaehyun: wow what a romantic
The8: @DK @Mingyu wanna gangbang vernon?
Mingyu: see ya boys
DK: I'll get the box
Mingyu: bye guys
Jaehyun: well that was interesting
GOT7's comeback killed me.
I am deceased.
Chapter 6: Of Rivers and Crushes
In which, measures are taken.
The8: hi guys
The8: how are you???
Yugyeom: spit it out
The8: so like my group are all practicing
The8: but i had a meeting
The8: so like
Jungkook: ming just say it
The8: I'M LOST OKAY
The8: SHUT IT.
Bambam: how the fuck...?
The8: I GET IT
The8: IM AN IDIOT WITH NO SENSE OF DIRECTION
The8: NOW CAN YOU GUYS HELP ME BC GOOGLE MAPS ISNT RESPONDING
Jungkook: wow even google maps is tired of your shit
The8: FUCK YOU AND JUST HELP ME
Yugyeom: alright alright
Yugyeom: but first
*Yugyeom changed The8's username to Nosenseofdirection*
Yugyeom: nah too long
*Yugyeom changed Nosenseofdirection's username to Lostboy*
Lostboy: sleep with one eye open tonight.
Jaehyun: ming just tell us where you are
Jaehyun: are there any signs?
Lostboy: um no
Lostboy: there's a convenience store
Lostboy: and there are series of shops
Lostboy: and i think there's a park up ahead?
Jungkook: you're gonna have to be a bit more specific
Lostboy: @Jungkook there's a big poster of your group on the side of a building
Jungkook: building sized??? We don't have much of those
Jungkook: wait a sec
Jungkook: take a pic
Jungkook: walk towards the trees
Lostboy: are you sure
Lostboy: im already lost as is
Jaehyun: wait a minute i've seen this
Lostboy: I'm at the han river!!
Jaehyun: how the fuck did you get on the other side of the han river
Bambam: IM CRYING
Lostboy: i was lost so i thought the building wasnt far and decided to walk?
Bambam: im barely in korea anymore and i know better than you
Yugyeom: what a fucking idiot
Lostboy: IM FOREIGN
Bambam: SO AM I
Jungkook: you know what
Jungkook: @Jaehyun @Yugyeom @Bambam are you guys free??
Jungkook: meet me at the han river
Jaehyun: on my way
Bambam: already out the door
Jungkook: and you
Jungkook: fucking stay put.
Lostboy: im not a child :(
Jaehyun: Stay put.
Lostboy: yes sir.
Mingyu: @Bambam @Jaehyun @Jungkook @Yugyeom
Mingyu: on the behalf of seventeen we would like to thank you for bringing back minghao safely
Mingyu: and we have decided to inform you that
DK: We've decided to put him on a leash.
Jungkook: THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN
Lostboy: I feel like a pet :(
Jungkook: hey guys
Jungkook: you think jimin would mind if we put him on a leash?
Jaehyun: Jeon Jungkook get the fuck out of here.
Jungkook: yes sir.
Bambam: i feel the need to confess
Bambam: i love my group and the sex is amazing
Bambam: but i really wouldnt mind if jungwoo fucked me
Jaehyun: you what?
Mingyu: uh oh
Jaehyun: are you thirsting over my boyfriend???
Bambam: im not saying i am
Bambam: but thats exactly what im saying
Jaehyun: do you want to die tonight?
Yugyeom: ah chill jae its not like you dont ogle at joshua all the time
Jaehyun: I DO NOT
DK: YOU WHAT NOW
Yugyeom: who u tryna fool m8
Jaehyun: ... he's pretty okay
Mingyu: UH YEAH HE IS AND HES OURS SO BACK OFF
Jaehyun: fucking calm down
Jaehyun: its not like im doing anything
Jaehyun: and besides
Jaehyun: @DK did you suddenly forget your crush on Taehyung now?
Jungkook: ON WHO
DK: he was literally voted most handsome face in the world
DK: who wouldnt have a crush on him
Jungkook: but i will beat up anyone who comes close to any of my boyfriends
Jungkook: understand lee seokmin???
Mingyu: (says the guy with the huge thirst over jaebum)
Jungkook: you fucker
Yugyeom: OVER WHO NOW
Bambam: AND YOURE CALLING ME OUT??
Jungkook: IM SORRY
Jungkook: HES JUST
Yugyeom: YEAH HE IS
Yugyeom: AND OURS
Bambam: SO BACK OFF YOU HORNY FUCKERS
Jaehyun: YOU STARTED THIS
Jaehyun: IF ANYTHING YOURE THE KING OF HORNINESS
Lostboy: WHAT HE SAID
Bambam: ight so maybe thats true
Yugyeom: you know what
Yugyeom: how about we shut this conversation and everyone leaves and hangs out with the boyfriends or something
Yugyeom: and never reopen it again?
Bambam: sounds good to me!
Bambam: and it has nothing to do with the way yug is glaring at me from across the living room
DK: okay then
Jaehyun: but we havent even discussed mingyus crush on mark
Yugyeom: HIS WHAT
Mingyu: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
Chapter 7: Of Trips and Tricks
GoldKomorebi asked: "Can you make a chapter where all their boyfriends are freaking out bc the 97 line leaves their regular gc and go MIA for a whole day. Meanwhile the 97 line are being Crackheads on a spontaneously trip to Jeju island"
Jungkook: hey guys
Jungkook: i have a great idea
Jaehyun: oh no
DK: Good lord
Yugyeom: what now?
JB: has anyone seen yug and bam??
Jinyoung: no? Werent they at the studio??
JB: i was just there and they werent???
Mark: maybe they went out?
JB: ive tried calling them but no answer
JB: theyve been silent all day
Youngjae: all day??
Youngjae: oh no
Jackson: maybe theyre with their friends!!
Jackson: I'll text Namjoon maybe theyre with kook
Namjoon: has anyone seen kook??
Namjoon: he's not answering me
Yoongi: isn't he at the dorm
Taehyung: no?? Isnt he at the dance studio??
Namjoon: jackson just texted me asking about yugyeom and bambam
Namjoon: theyre missing too
Jimin: i havent seen him all day
Seungcheol: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 3 OF MY MEMBERS ARE MISSING
Woozi: ive been fucking looking for mingyu all day to see this verse with him and he!
Jun: i cant find minghao or seokmin either and they wont answer me
Seungcheol: HAVE YOU CHECKED THE DORMS
Seungcheol: THE STUDIOS
Seungcheol: THE ENTIRE FUCKING COMPOUND
Taeyong: you mean to tell me
Taeyong: no one has seen jaehyun all day???
Yuta: damn i forget how scary he gets when hes angry
Taeyong: answer the fucking question.
Yuta: NO SIR
Johnny: we searched everywhere sir
Winwin: he wont answer his phone either
Taeyong: WHERE THE FUCK COULD HE HAVE DISAPPEARED TO
Haechan: we dont know sir
Taeyong: DID HE JUST VANISH OUT OF THIN AIR?
*Namjoon added JB*
*Namjoon added Taeyong*
*Namjoon added Seungcheol*
Namjoon: lets skip the formalities
Namjoon: I talked to Jackson and I found out the kook yugyeom and bambam are missing
Taeyong: Jaehyuns missing too wtf
Seungcheol: I HAVE 3 MEMBERS MISSING
JB: You think theyre all together???
Namjoon: well judging by this reaction
Namjoon: i have a feeling they might be
JB: Those two are so dead when they get back home.
Seungcheol: Murder sounds so good right now
Namjoon: if only we could figure out where the fuck they went to
Lostboy: hey guys
Lostboy: do you think our boyfriends will murder us?
Bambam: they defo will
Jungkook: i know for a fact jin hyung will pounce on me the moment i get back so im wearing protective gear
Jaehyun: taeyongs probably having a field day
DK: and you think seungcheol isnt??
DK: oh boy
Mingyu: meh might as well enjoy now!!
Yugyeom: GUYS PARASAILING IS FREE NOW
JB: anyone heard anything yet?
Bambam: I have an idea
Jungkook: fuck no
Bambam: and you will thank me for it.
DK: FUCK NO
The Next Day
Jaehyun: I cant believe im saying this but
Jaehyun: @Bambam wow you were right
Jaehyun: the moment everyone saw the outfit all thoughts flew to their dicks
Mingyu: no kidding
Mingyu: the moment seungcheol saw the garters i think he almost passed out
Yugyeom: JB couldnt get past the skirt
Jaehyun: what about kook @Jungkook
Jungkook: lemme be real with you chief
Jungkook: i won't be walking for the next 3 days
Jungkook: i won't be moving from my bed the next 3 days
Yugyeom: rip in peace
DK: @Bambam you were actually useful for once
Bambam: i saved all of your asses thats what
Lostboy: more like broke all of our asses
Seungcheol: so turns out they were all in jeju island having fun!
JB: I mean they deserve a day off don't you think so??
Namjoon: uh huh
Namjoon: what did your dongsaengs do to you
Taeyong: police uniform
Taeyong: wait did we all just get tricked??
Hope I did you justice!!
Chapter 8: Of Compliments and Aggression
In which, a compliment battle sparks up.
Yugyeom: I HAVE TO GET THIS OFF OF MY CHEST
Yugyeom: @Jungkook WHAT THE FUCK
Yugyeom: WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCKER ROLLS IN SLOW MOTION
Yugyeom: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU TALENTED SHITHEAD
Jungkook: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME
Jungkook: WHAT ABOUT YOU HUH
Jungkook: HIT THE STAGE???????
Jungkook: WHO THE FUCK FALLS LIKE THAT
Jungkook: LIKE SOME POSSESSED DANCE GOD
Yugyeom: DONT LOOK AT ME
Yugyeom: THATS JAE
Yugyeom: CHERRY BOMB??
Jaehyun: HEY HEY
Jaehyun: IT WAS THE CHOREO OKAY
Jungkook: THE CHOREO WITH THE FALLING AND THE SPLITS HUH
Jungkook: FLEXIBLE BASTARD
Jaehyun: ME? WHAT ABOUT THOSE 3 HUH
Jaehyun: @Mingyu @Lostboy @DK
Jaehyun: TELL ME WHO THE FUCK CASUALLY JUMPS IN THE AIR
Jaehyun: FALL BACK DOWN CROUCHING
Jaehyun: IN PERFECT SYNC
Lostboy: WHAT DID WE DO
Yugyeom: GET OVER HERE FUCKING SYNC GODS
DK: DONT LOOK AT US
DK: LOOK AT THE MARTIAL ARTS FREAK
DK: WHO THE FUCK PRACTICALLY DOES MARTIAL ARTS ON STAGE AND STILL LOOKS FUCKING FABULOUS HUH
Lostboy: FUCKING WITCHERY I DEMAND ANSWERS
Bambam: WHAT I DO
Bambam: FUCKING SHOUT AT YOURSELVES BEFORE YOU SHOUT AT ME YOU GIFTED PIECES OF SHIT
Jungkook: DONT YELL AT US YOU DESERVE IT
Mingyu: wow if this isnt the most aggressive compliment battle ive ever seen
Jaehyun: YOU GET OVER HERE YOU CHARISMATIC BASTARD
Jungkook: YEAH YOU
Mingyu: OH YOU'RE GOING DOWN
Mingyu: saw this and thought bam would look good in this
Mingyu: bc hello??? How can anyone be so fabulous??
Bambam: excuse me???
Bambam: have you seen yourself???
Bambam: with that height???
Bambam: and that smirk???
Mingyu: shut up you handsome fucker
Bambam: i wont fucking shut up @Yugyeom back me up here
Yugyeom: Bam is absolutely right
Yugyeom: fuck you
Mingyu: im sorry????
Mingyu: your eyes???
Mingyu: fuck you???
Yugyeom: my eyes???
Yugyeom: are you fucking mistaking them for kooks bambi eyes??
Jungkook: my what????
Yugyeom: your fucking huge stunning doe eyes
Jungkook: what the fuck
Bambam: uh yeah?? The make you look like a fucking baby bunny
Jungkook: Im not cute
Jungkook: @Lostboy's cute not me you blind fuckers
Lostboy: who's cute???
Mingyu: yeah you
Mingyu: fucking adorable
Lostboy: fuck no
Lostboy: seok's smile is adorable
Lostboy: not my face
Lostboy: what the fuck is wrong with you
DK: My smile
DK: Are you high on some shit???
Jaehyun: Tf is wrong with you
Jaehyun: did you suddenly go blind you cute fucker??
DK: IM SORRY
DK: LOOK WHOS TALKING
DK: THE MAN WHO OOZES SEX WHEN HE WALKS
Jaehyun: WHAT THE FUCK I DO NOT
Yugyeom: YEAH YOU FUCKING DO
Jungkook: IF I WASNT YOUR FRIEND I WOULDVE POPPED A BONER WHEN WATCHING YOUR COMEBACK STAGES SO SHUT UP
Jaehyun: YOU'RE ONE TO TALK
Jaehyun: YOU'RE ALL ONES TO TALK
Jaehyun: I CANT DEAL WITH YOU HANDSOME BASTARDS
Lostboy: SUIT YOURSELVES
Jungkook: FINE BY ME
Yugyeom: UNAPPRECIATIVE FUCKERS
Mingyu: FUCK ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HERE
Bambam: FUCK YOURSELF
I sometimes legit compliment my friends that way.
Chapter 9: Of Sickness and Health
anon asked: "maybe them reacting to/comforting kook who was really sick at sma 2019? cos they were all there..? or something I don't know i just kind of want a rly soft chapter after all this crazy hahaha"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
DK: Good luck everyone today!!
Yugyeom: you too!!
Jaehyun: Good luck everyone :))
Mingyu: same to you!!
Lostboy: where's kook?
Lostboy: he usually talks on the group before occasions like these
Lostboy: I havent heard from him all day
Jaehyun: he's probably busy with preps
Mingyu: has anyone seen kook?
Mingyu: he didnt look good
Yugyeom: he's strained himself too much
Jaehyun: he looked ready to pass out on stage
Lostboy: he looks tired :(
DK: is he sick?
Bambam: I just ran into kook in the toilets
Bambam: hes not okay
Bambam: i had to support him until he reached his manager
Mingyu: whats wrong with him???
Bambam: he seemed really dizzy and disoriented
DK: should we help??
Jaehyun: i think its best to leave him with his hyungs rn
Jaehyun: theres not much we can do
Lostboy: i hate that youre right :(
DK: Its a good thing bam found and helped him tho
Bambam: hes one of my bestfriends of course ill help him
Jungkook: hey guys
Jungkook: @Bambam thank you
Yugyeom: YOURE ALIVE
DK: you really worried us man
Lostboy: are you feeling any better??
Jungkook: a bit yeah
Jungkook: aw i didnt know you guys cared that much!
Mingyu: i know thats meant as a joke but yeah we do kook
Mingyu: i had my heart in my throat when i saw you stumble on stage
Jaehyun: you really need to stop pushing yourself to the limit kook
Jungkook: yeah i know
Jungkook: i cant help it im sorry
Jungkook: anyways im on bed rest for the next 2 days
Jungkook: my hyungs wont let me move
Bambam: i nearly panicked when i saw you in the toilets
Jungkook: im sorry for worrying all of you
Yugyeom: bam and i will try to pass by if we can
DK: its okay kook but please take care of yourself
DK: we know you you little shit
Jungkook: yes sir
Lostboy: take your meds!
Lostboy: eat your soup!
Jungkook: yes mom
Mingyu: get well soon kookie!!
Jaehyun: listen to your hyungs okay?
Jungkook: ah come on jae
Jungkook: when do i not?
Bambam: really kook?
Bambam: youre sometimes worse than me
Jungkook: guys you really didnt have to send get well soon gifts
Lostboy: you do it to us all the time so shush
Jaehyun: its practically tradition by now
Jungkook: fuck you i didnt want to get emotional
Bambam: awww is kookie touched?
Jungkook: shut up
Mingyu: we love you too kook
Jungkook: no shut up
DK: just accept it dumbass
Jungkook: i love you guys too
Probably the fluffiest chapter of this fic.
I wanted to build up the crack base a bit before adding some fluff into this!
Hope I did you justice!
Chapter 10: Of Dares and Dares
Dawnbreak55 asked: "Or like,, maybe just another chapter where the groups are absolutely done with their crackheadery mess but they dont care and continue causing trouble,,,, like maybe they played truth or dare or smth and they have to play pranks or seduce members in practice or smth"
Lostboy: @Jaehyun Im lost again
Lostboy: Im lost in your eyes baby
Lostboy: WKALSNKA IM SORRY SEOK AND MIN DARED ME TO DO IT
Mingyu: THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL AHAHHAHAHA
Jungkook: you fuckers are playing truth or dare??
Jungkook: without us??
Yugyeom: how fucking dare you
Jaehyun: absolute mad lad
Bambam: whats going on
DK: TRUTH OR DARE FUCKER
Bambam: DARE ME BITCHES
Lostboy: Stick your finger in your ass and lick it
Lostboy: WITH PROOF
Lostboy: and no yug that does not give you an excuse to rim him
Yugyeom: fucking hell
Bambam: PROOF ENOUGH FOR YA
Jaehyun: MY EYES WTF
Bambam: YALL ASKED FOR PROOF
Jungkook: thats fucking nasty
Yugyeom: idk what you guys are complaining about thats a glorious ass in my opinion
Mingyu: HANDS OFF OF YOUR DICK YUG
Jaehyun: you guys are nasty
Bambam: MY TURN
Bambam: JEON JUNGKOOK
Bambam: TRUTH OR DARE
Jungkook: DARE ME
Bambam: i dare you to go to Yoongi hyung and beg him to fuck you while calling him master
DK: that is disgusting.
Jungkook: LMAO HES GONNA BE SCARRED
Jaehyun: where'd he disappear to?
Mingyu: no clue
Jungkook: RIGHT HERE
Yugyeom: DID HE REALLY LOCK HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM
Lostboy: LOOK AT HOW RED HE IS
Yoongi: JEON JUNGKOOK DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT EVER AGAIN
Jungkook: sorry master
Jimin: EW WTF KOOK
Namjoon: I felt bile in my throat
Jin: since when the fuck were you into master kink
Taehyung: kooks into master kink?
Jungkook: nah hyungs
Jungkook: only with my only master yoongi <3333
Yoongi: FUCK YOU
Jungkook: @Jaehyun you should try this on taeyong sometime
Jungkook: he'll freak
Mingyu: YES DO IT @Jaehyun
Jaehyun: maybe i will ;)
DK: ATTA BOY
Jungkook: SQUARE UP SEOKMIN
Jungkook: TRUTH OR DARE
Jaehyun: what's the point of asking the question if we all end up choosing dare anyway
Mingyu: its tradition so shut up
Jungkook: remember that wolf mask you got like 3 halloweens back?
Jungkook: wear that
Jungkook: hide in hoshi-hyungs closet and jumpscare the fuck out of him
DK: you want me to die tonight don't you
Bambam: would it be truth or dare if atleast one of us didnt die
Mingyu: hes got a point there
DK: Alright fine
Lostboy: i got the camera!
DK: I like the flowers to be pink at my funeral
Jungkook: dont worry about it
Yugyeom: rip in peace
Hoshi: LEE SEOKMIN
Hoshi: YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR YOU'LL REGRET IT
Vernon: I heard screaming??
DK: SORRY HYUNG
DK: NO CAN DO
Hoshi: IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU
Lostboy: so yeah seok and i are now trapped in the bathroom
Bambam: HOW DID IT GO
Lostboy: see for yourself
Yugyeom: LOOK AT HIS FACE
DK: How long do you think ming and i are gonna be trapped here?
Mingyu: judging by what we saw and the groupchat?
Mingyu: make yourselves comfy babes
DK: HEY YOURE PLAYING TOO
DK: HOW COME YOURE NOT TRAPPED WITH US HUH
Mingyu: bc you need someone to keep you updated?
Lostboy: shit youre right
DK: JUNG YOONOH
DK: YOUR TURN
DK: I WONT BE THE ONLY ONE DYING TONIGHT
Jaehyun: i know this won't end well
Jaehyun: and yet
Jaehyun: dare me
Mingyu: you wouldnt be part of this group if you didnt choose dare babe
Jaehyun: i sincerely hate that you're right
DK: how do we feel about filling the entire dorm with balloons?
Jaehyun: consider it done.
Jaehyun: im gonna need help tho
Yugyeom: WE'LL HELP
Taeil: WHAT THE FUCK
Taeil: WHY IS OUR DORM OVERFLOWING WITH BALLOONS
Doyoung: where the fuck are we supposed to keep all of these????
Taeyong: WHO DID THIS
Taeyong: DID YOU DO IT @Lucas
Taeyong: I SWEAR TO GOD
Lucas: I SWEAR I DIDNT
Lucas: I WAS WITH THE DREAMIES ALL DAY
Taeyong: wait a minute
Taeyong: lucas was with the dreamies
Taeyong: the rest of us were in the studios
Taeyong: and only jaehyun stayed back in the dorm....
Taeyong: JUNG YOONOH
Jungwoo: oh shit
Jungwoo: rip in peace
Taeyong: GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT
Jaehyun: I think I'm good
Jaehyun: please have a wooden casket prepared
Jaehyun: thank you
Bambam: WE COMPLETELY FILLED THE PLACE
Yugyeom: CHECK THIS OUT
Jungkook: YOOO THATS AWESOME
Jaehyun: WHOS THE NEXT BASTARDS TURN
Why is coming up with different dares so hard
Why is digital art so hard
Why is everything so hard
What a mess
Anyways, hope you like it!!
Chapter 11: Of Names and Changes
In which, names get changed.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Lostboy: so like why am I the only one with the non-generic username
Jaehyun: those are our names???
*Lostboy changed Jaehyun's username to Daddy*
Daddy: MINGHAO WTF
Bambam: hes not wrong tho ;)
Daddy: @Yugyeom @DK @Mingyu control your respective boyfriends
Yugyeom: I would but I lowkey (highkey) agree
Mingyu: I think we all agree here
DK: Im not saying theyre right
DK: but thats exactly what im saying
Daddy: fucking hell
Daddy: @Jungkook back me up here
Jungkook: sure daddy
Daddy: I sincerely hate you all.
*Daddy changed his username Jay*
Jay: Nobody fucking touch it
*Bambam changed Jay's username to Greekgod*
Bambam: hes handsome and hes got the muscles
Bambam: sue me
Yugyeom: very fitting in my opinion
Greekgod: I'll let it pass.
Lostboy: HE LIKES IT HA
Greekgod: yeah okay
*Greekgod changed Yugyeom's username to HitTheYug*
HitTheYug: I aint even mad
HitTheYug: I nailed that show
DK: Thats the spirit!
DK: oo i have one!
*DK changed Mingyu's username to EiffelPuppy*
DK: you dont like it pup?
EiffelPuppy: no no i love it!!
Jungkook: I dont know whether to scream whipped or exposed
Greekgod: pup huh
EiffelPuppy: shut up
Lostboy: oh big time
Bambam: sure pup ;)
EiffelPuppy: FUCK YOU
HitTheYug: gotta admit
HitTheYug: suits him
HitTheYug: @Bambam how do you think jackson would react if we called him pup
Bambam: we so need to do that
Jungkook: Film it pls
Bambam: you got it
*EiffelPuppy changed Bambam's username Thaibaby*
Thaibaby: works i guess
EiffelPuppy: you complaining?
Thaibaby: no sir
*Thaibaby changed DK's username to Megaphone*
Lostboy: you are LOUD
Megaphone: AM NOT
EiffelPuppy: you really want me to prove that here?
Jungkook: I KNEW HE WAS VOCAL
Megaphone: what the actual fuck
HitTheYug: please seok weve all heard you makeout with minghao or mingyu before
Greekgod: "follow the yellow brick road!"
Greekgod: *follow seokmin's moans!
Megaphone: are you done mocking me now
Lostboy: aw dont be so bitter babe
Megaphone: geniunely hop off my dick
Lostboy: but im warming it
HitTheYug: YOURE WHAT
Greekgod: TMI MING
Jungkook: y'all are seriously nasty
*HitTheYug changed Jungkook's username to KookieMonster*
KookieMonster: i think its quite cute
KookieMonster: not bad yug
HitTheYug: anytime man
KookieMonster: you do have braincells after all
HitTheYug: can we just go one day
HitTheYug: one day
HitTheYug: without murdering anyone in this group
Thaibaby: @KookieMonster who requested this
HitTheYug: JACKSON LOVED THE NICKNAME
EiffelPuppy: Haaa looks like im not the only one suckers
Thaibaby: THAT WAS GENIUS
Thaibaby: WHY DIDNT WE THINK OF IT BEFORE
KookieMonster: HAHA LOOK AT HIM ALL FLUSTERED
HitTheYug: @Thaibaby LETS GET HIM A COLLAR
Greekgod: Aaaaaand I'm out
First, Aladdin is a great movie and screw anyone who says otherwise
Second, I wonder how long these usernames will last before I mess up and ruin them lmao
Short chapter bc I'm kinda confused on how to approach this fic in the next chapters but anyways hope you like it :)
Chapter 12: Of Injuries and Insecurities
1231pm asked: "maybe you could do one where one of them gets hurt or is sad, and they all immediately become Protective Best Friend mode and all take care of the one who is hurt? (:"
elenoe1 asked: "And a bit inspired by the last chapter: Minghao’s back has been hurting and the group chat finds out he practiced dancing by him self"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
KookieMonster: @Thaibaby @Lostboy we still up for today yeah?
Lostboy: I might have to cancel
KookieMonster: what?? why??
Lostboy: i forgot i had something to do!!
KookieMonster: Ming please
KookieMonster: its one of my only free days and I really want to see you guys
KookieMonster: the rest are busy except you and bam
Thaibaby: anything wrong ming?
Lostboy: im fine!
Thaibaby: you sure?
Lostboy: ill meet you guys at 1
Thaibaby: yall are welcome to join if youre free @Greekgod @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone @HitTheYug
Thaibaby: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy
Thaibaby: answer us goddamit
EiffelPuppy: we couldnt take calls
EiffelPuppy: whats wrong???
KookieMonster: would you like to finally fucking join us at the hospital?
KookieMonster: Minghao hurt his back and none of your group fucking answered
Thaibaby: if he wasnt hurt Im this close to beating him I swear to god
Thaibaby: you two get the fuck here and dont tell anyone from your group
EiffelPuppy: I just left the building
Megaphone: on my way
Greekgod: what happened???
HitTheYug: what the fuck
HitTheYug: bam send the address
KookieMonster: no no its okay you dont have to leave your schedules
Greekgod: send the fucking address kook
Greekgod: hes one of our bestfriends so shut the fuck up
Lostboy: @Thaibaby @Greekgod @HitTheYug @KookieMonster
Lostboy: thank you guys for coming
Lostboy: im sorry for ruining your day
Greekgod: bro dont
Greekgod: we wouldve done it for anyone here
HitTheYug: its true
HitTheYug: but now you wanna tell us the real reason you hurt your back?
Megaphone: this i'm dying to fucking know
EiffelPuppy: don't fucking think we believed your sorry excuse of "tripping"
KookieMonster: i have a feeling what it could he
KookieMonster: but theres no use to be angry guys
Thaibaby: he's right
Thaibaby: @Lostboy you know you can tell us anything right?
Megaphone: I'm sorry
Megaphone: but we were really worried
EiffelPuppy: we love you sweetheart
Lostboy: please dont tell the rest of our group
Lostboy: i hurt my back while practicing dance yesterday night
EiffelPuppy: you've been over praticing again??
Lostboy: im sorry
Megaphone: babe we've talked about this
KookieMonster: because he doesnt feel up to standards
Greekgod: come on ming dont hide anymore
Lostboy: because I feel like my dancing sucks compared to all of you
EiffelPuppy: you know thats not true
Megaphone: I literally take tips by watching you dance
Megaphone: (dont tell hoshi hyung)
HitTheYug: I think this is something you should discuss in person
KookieMonster: as someone whos been in this position i agree
KookieMonster: your members are here to help you ming
KookieMonster: please trust me
Megaphone: we'll talk to you guys later
Thaibaby: i wonder how things went
KookieMonster: im sure its fine
Greekgod: hey kook
Greekgod: is it true you've been through this
KookieMonster: oh yeah
KookieMonster: i was maybe even worse
KookieMonster: debuting at a young age isnt easy
KookieMonster: and being the youngest of the group?
KookieMonster: even worse
KookieMonster: i sprained my ankle while practicing once
HitTheYug: and howd you get over it?
KookieMonster: my members were there for me
KookieMonster: that night after the hospital trip we all sat down and had a heart to heart
KookieMonster: and I understood that i dont need to be perfect
KookieMonster: but tbh the tendency never goes away
KookieMonster: so they keep me in check
KookieMonster: we all keep each other in check
Thaibaby: thats actually really sweet
KookieMonster: @Greekgod be nice to the dreamies
Greekgod: i wouldnt dream of being otherwise
HitTheYug: so after the heart to heart
HitTheYug: did yall do the nasty ;)))
KookieMonster: I WAS UNDERAGE YOU DISGUSTING FUCKER
Thaibaby: babe even i didnt make the comment
Thaibaby: what is wrong with you
EiffelPuppy: we had a long talk
EiffelPuppy: eventually we told the rest if the members and you guys can imagine the reaction
EiffelPuppy: but seok and i read your convo @KookieMonster and we took your advice
Thaibaby: aww look at them!
Thaibaby: they look adorable sleeping
Greekgod: so everythings good im guessing?
EiffelPuppy: seok and jun refuse to let him go
KookieMonster: good bc if your group upset him i was ready to throw fists
HitTheYug: me too huh
EiffelPuppy: jeez you guys act like youre his boyfriends
Thaibaby: well i wont deny id tap that ass
EiffelPuppy: you fucker
KookieMonster: aw dont worry gyu
KookieMonster: id tap yours ;)
EiffelPuppy: ... you fucker
Greekgod: like you wouldnt tap mine?
EiffelPuppy: ... you got me there.
Oof that was long to write. And emotional.
I hope I did you guys justice!!
Now back to me drawing Yoongi :)
Chapter 13: Of Pranks and Wars Pt. 1
1231pm said: "fbsmflsld now this just makes me want a prank war chapter omg."
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Greekgod: I FUCKING KNOW IT WAS ONE OF YOU FUCKERS
Greekgod: WHICH ONE OF YOU SENT THE DILDO
Megaphone: Like it jae?
Greekgod: IM GONNA MURDER YOU
Megaphone: hey hey dont look at me babe
Megaphone: it was a joint collaboration
Lostboy: All mingyus idea
Lostboy: which was genius
Greekgod: ARE YOU TRYING TO START SOME SORT OF WAR
Thaibaby: scared jae?
Greekgod: You fucking wish.
EiffelPuppy: as if he can prank us better
Greekgod: is that a challenge Kim fucking Mingyu?
KookieMonster: ooo i smell competition
EiffelPuppy: fucking bring it coward
Greekgod: I propose a prank war.
HitTheYug: a prank war you say?
Greekgod: First of all anyone here wants to back out like the coward they are?
KookieMonster: Fuck no
Lostboy: over my dead body
Thaibaby: what they said
Megaphone: Im in
HitTheYug: sign me up
EiffelPuppy: get on with it bitch
Greekgod: Okay then
Greekgod: Teams: seventeen members vs got7 members vs me and kook
Greekgod: For fairness
Greekgod: Anyone opposes?
HitTheYug: sounds good to us
Thaibaby: wait hey are we seriously just grouping together the two most athletic guys together
KookieMonster: shut up atleast you guys live together
Greekgod: Full freedom unless life threatening
Greekgod: culprits must take responsibility of the prank if it involves unsuspecting members
Greekgod: Last one to back out is the winner
Greekgod: Losers have to act as servants to the winners on another trip to jeju island paid fully by them and won't be allowed on any activities or swims
Greekgod: Those are the rules
Lostboy: you're all fucking going down
HitTheYug: in your dreams fucker.
KookieMonster: we'll see about that.
Jin: JEON JUNGKOOK
Jin: DID YOU FUCKING USE MY CHOPSTICKS
Jin: YOU DID
Jin: THEY TOLD ME
Jungkook: I didnt hyung!
Jimin: oh shit
Namjoon: kook-ah you're dead
Taehyung: even i didnt touch those
Yoongi: it was nice knowing you kook
KookieMonster: DID YOU FUCKERS TELL JIN I USED HIS SACRED CHOPSTICKS
KookieMonster: ARE YOU FUCKING TRYING TO GET ME KILLED
Thaibaby: feeling threatened bitch boy?
KookieMonster: by you?
KookieMonster: by jin hyung?
KookieMonster: Yeah i am fuck you
KookieMonster: thanks to you im gonna get the ass whooping of a lifetime
HitTheYug: its never too late for you and jae to back out sweetheart ;)
KookieMonster: id rather get demolished than admit defeat
Greekgod: and this is why you're my partner
Lostboy: wait are those the chopsticks?
Lostboy: the custom-made ones with the diamonds and his initials?
Megaphone: honey you are fucked
KookieMonster: you fucking wait.
HitTheYug: if you're still alive ;)
EiffelPuppy: you're gonna pay for this.
Lostboy: I HAVE GLITTER IN MY FUCKING LUNGS
Megaphone: Seungcheol is gonna fucking freak when he sees this mess
Megaphone: A GLITTER BOMB?
Greekgod: kook and i thought you three needed some sparkle on your lives
KookieMonster: a shine
Lostboy: how about mY NUNCHUCKS UP YOUR ASSES
KookieMonster: goodluck getting that glitter out of your ass ;)
EiffelPuppy: you fuckers
Seungcheol: WHY IS MY DORM COVERED IN HOT PINK GLITTER
Seungcheol: WHO DID THIS
Seungcheol: BETTER STEP UP OR YOU WON'T BE HAPPY
Joshua: @Mingyu @DK @The8
Joshua: you three wanna step up?
DK: we're sorry hyungs
The8: we didnt mean to cause a mess!
Mingyu: sorry hyungs
Seungcheol: you three are going to clean every millimeter in this dorm
Seungcheol: i want it SPOTLESS
Seungcheol: you have an hour and then we'll discuss your other punishment.
The8: yes hyung.
Mingyu: yes hyung.
DK: yes hyung.
Lostboy: god knows what other punishments he has
Lostboy: its gonna be a bitch to remove
Greekgod: better get to work then ;)
Megaphone: i fucking hate you
EiffelPuppy: sleep with one eye open.
Wow i havent updated in almost a week yikes
Its been a busy week so sorry about that!!
I started uni again :(
Chapter 14: Of Pranks and Wars Pt.2
Aira_Loves_Herself asked: "Can you do something with 'Pranks and-Wait this wasn't the plan!'"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Private chat: Mingyu and Jaebum
Mingyu: hi hyung!
Mingyu: are bam and yug in the dorm?
Mingyu: they arent answering their phones
JB: hey mingyu
JB: no they aren't
JB: do you need anything?
Mingyu: seok ming and i were supposed head over to your dorm like now so we can hang out with bam and yug
Mingyu: but they arent answering us so i guess its off now :(((
JB: oh no sweetheart its okay
JB: I can talk to them of you want?
Mingyu: no its okay hyung
Mingyu: problem is we were already on our way :/
JB: how about this?
JB: I have schedules in about half an hour but I'm at the dorm rn
JB: so i'll let you guys in and you can wait for the boys and then I leave
Mingyu: you wouldnt mind hyung?
JB: nah it's alright!
JB: but you won't mind staying alone for a while yeah?
Mingyu: no its alright!
Mingyu: thank you hyung!!
JB: anytime :)
Thaibaby: WHAT THE FUCK
HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK
HitTheYug: ON THE CEILING????
HitTheYug: HOW THE FUCK
HitTheYug: WHY THE FUCK
Megaphone: hope you loved our suprise!!
Lostboy: we gotta admit
Lostboy: covering the entire room in post-its in an hour and a half wasnt easy
Thaibaby: HOW DID YOU EVEN
HitTheYug: @EiffelPuppy YOU DID THE CEILING DIDNT YOU
HitTheYug: FUCKING GIANT
EiffelPuppy: mm yeah!
EiffelPuppy: hope you liked the colors!
Thaibaby: HOW ARE WE EVEN SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THIS TO JB AND JINYOUNG
Megaphone: no clue!!
Megaphone: have fun with that!!
Jinyoung: @Bambam @Yugyeom
Jinyoung: so mind telling us exactly why your entire room is covered in post-its?
Yugyeom: bam and i thought it would be fun to do it!!
Bambam: yeah!! A nice challenge!!
JB: Yes and what do you think manager-nims reaction gonna be when he sees this?
JB: I want your room spotless. Understand?
Yugyeom: yes sir
Bambam: yes sir
Jinyoung: oh and do wear your maid costumes while you do it
Jinyoung: unless you want to get punished tonight?
Bambam: yes sir.
Yugyeom: yes sir.
HitTheYug: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy @Lostboy
HitTheYug: i fucking hate you three so much rn
KookieMonster: MAID COSTUME LMAOOOO
KookieMonster: FUCKING GENIUS
Greekgod: i lowkey (highkey) wouldnt mind getting fucked by jinyoung
Thaibaby: i really fucking hate you all rn.
Private chat: Bambam and Yugyeom
Bambam: you're in position?
Yugyeom: yeah im on the other side
Yugyeom: are the windows open on your side?
Bambam: we throw the paint bombs on three
Bambam: WHAT WAS THAT CRASH
Bambam: THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
Greekgod: those responsible for that last prank step up right now
HitTheYug: uh hey jae how you doing!
Thaibaby: hope everythings fine!!
KookieMonster: did you two know that I happened to be at the NCT dorms with jae?
Thaibaby: you were?
Greekgod: thanks to your little stunt
Greekgod: you guys set off the fire alarm
Greekgod: set off the water sprinkles
Greekgod: AND DRENCHED US ALL
KookieMonster: when i get my hands on both of you you're gonna wish you weren't alive
HitTheYug: THAT WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN
Thaibaby: WE'RE SORRY
Greekgod: EXPLAIN THAT TO MY MEMBERS YOU FUCKERS
Greekgod: THE ENTIRE DORM IS FLOODED
Thaibaby: PLEASE FORGIVE US
Greekgod: THANK TO YOU TWO I WONT BE WALKING FOR THE NEXT WEEK PROBABLY
Greekgod: I WONT BE EVEN SITTING
HitTheYug: PLEASE SPARE US PLEASEE
EiffelPuppy: oh fuck
EiffelPuppy: how does one fuck up so bad???
Megaphone: holy shit
KookieMonster: oh no sweethearts
KookieMonster: you're not off the hook
Greekgod: the hyungs are gonna be so pissed
Greekgod: so the hyungs are pissed
Greekgod: and they told your hyungs @Thaibaby @HitTheYug
HitTheYug: please tell me you're joking
Thaibaby: tell us you're kidding right now.
JB: @Yugyeom @Bambam
JB: I WANT YOU HERE THIS INSTANT.
Thaibaby: FUCK FUCK FUCK
HitTheYug: it was nice knowing you all.
Lostboy: that doesnt look good at all
HitTheYug: NO SHIT
Thaibaby: THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS
EiffelPuppy: good luck with that
Thaibaby: YOU KNOW WHAT
Thaibaby: IF WE'RE GOING DOWN YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH US
Hoshi: @Mingyu @The8 @DK
Hoshi: IS IT TRUE YOU SNUCK IN AND VANDALIZED GOT7'S DORM?
Megaphone: FUCK YOU
Lostboy: GENIUNELY GO CHOKE ON A DICK
EiffelPuppy: OF ALL PEOPLE YOU TEXTED HOSHI HYUNG
HitTheYug: FUCKING DESERVED
KookieMonster: oh fuck
KookieMonster: looks like everyones getting killed
KookieMonster: good luck with that
Lostboy: do you really think we're gonna let you walk away as the only one unscathed in this group?
Megaphone: it's a ride or die kook
EiffelPuppy: if everyones getting fucked then so are you
KookieMonster: please don't
KookieMonster: i'm begging you
Namjoon: Jeon Jungkook don't you dare deny your glitter bomb stunt in the seventeen dorms or your punishment will be worse.
KookieMonster: fuck you all.
One Day Later
Megaphone: how's everyone doing?
Greekgod: i can't walk
Greekgod: i can't talk
Greekgod: i can't sit
Thaibaby: i can't even switch my position on the bed
KookieMonster: i geniunely think my body cant ever produce cum ever again
HitTheYug: same chief
HitTheYug: even my eyes are protesting in pain everytime i blink
Lostboy: im on bedrest for the rest of the week
Lostboy: i think my vocal cords are torn
EiffelPuppy: you screamed so much i think my eardrums burst
EiffelPuppy: everything hurts
EiffelPuppy: i cried so much yesterday that i cant even turn on the lights bc my eyes are that sensitive
EiffelPuppy: Even the lowest brightness on my phone is hurting my eyes
Megaphone: i dont think my dick is functional anymore
Greekgod: so i know it was my suggestion in the beginning
Greekgod: but im thinking how about we.. pause
Greekgod: this prank war
Greekgod: you know
Greekgod: for the safety of everyone
KookieMonster: i support you partner
Lostboy: an excellent notion in my opinion
Thaibaby: not a bad idea
Megaphone: superb idea
HitTheYug: i wont deny what a good idea it is
EiffelPuppy: oh well its for the best
Greekgod: now i'm gonna take a nap before round 11 starts
One word: yikes
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this update!! Its a bit too cracky and all over the place but hopefully its good enough :)
Chapter 15: Of Twice and Gossip
bluenotesby13 asked: "can I suggest like a chat full of gossiping?"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
EiffelPuppy: I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THAT
EiffelPuppy: I SWEAR I SAW NAYEON AND SANA KISS
EiffelPuppy: I CAN SWEAR IT
HitTheYug: THAT CANT BE TRUE
Lostboy: I WAS THERE
Lostboy: I SAW IT TOO
Thaibaby: NO FUCKING WAY
KookieMonster: Sana and Nayeon are dating???
HitTheYug: NO THEY'RE NOT
Greekgod: but gyu and ming just said they kissed at the MMAs
Megaphone: yeah whats up with that?? @Thaibaby @HitTheYug
Thaibaby: SANA AND NAYEON CANT BE DATING BECAUSE WE SAW SANA KISS MINA
Greekgod: Mother of god
Mingyu: YOU WHAT NOW
Lostbaby: WHAT THE FUCK
KookieMonster: goddamn where was i during this whole commotion
Greekgod: sucking hoseok-hyungs dick before your idol performance?
Greekgod: (amazing performance btw)
KookieMonster: sounds about right
KookieMonster: (thank you :'D)
KookieMonster: hyung was nervous
KookieMonster: what am i gonna do?
KookieMonster: say no?
Greekgod: you got me there
EiffelPuppy: BACK TO THE MAIN POINT???
Megaphone: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby
Megaphone: YOU TWO ARE IN THE SAME COMPANY
Megaphone: YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS
HitTheYug: IM SORRY??
HitTheYug: WE BARELY SEE THEM??
HitTheYug: THEY HAVE LIKE 100000 COMEBACKS PER YEAR
KookieMonster: thats true actually
KookieMonster: i mean like
KookieMonster: we have like 2
KookieMonster: and 30 breakdowns that come with them
Greekgod: NCT U barely has one??
Greekgod: and im already tired???
KookieMonster: mood brotha
Lostboy: IM LOST
Thaibaby: arent you always?
Lostboy: I STILL DONT GET IT
Mingyu: ME NEITHER
HitTheYug: IS SANA LIKE SECRETLY DATING ONE OF THEM??
Greekgod: ever considered they might be in a polyamorous relationship just like the rest of us are?
Private Chat: Jungkook and Nayeon
Nayeon: how are you???
Jungkook: nah quit with the sunbaenim thing im younger than you bro
Jungkook: im good!!
Jungkook: i need your help to clear up a misunderstanding
Nayeon: i told sana she was being obvious
Nayeon: what can i say?
Nayeon: but we are in a relationship
Nayeon: all of us
Nayeon: i hope you dont think thats too weird?
Nayeon: ALL OF YOU?
Nayeon: that makes so much sense....
Nayeon: once at the MAMAs i couldve sworn I saw jackson shove his hand down marks pants
Nayeon: but i wasnt sure???
Nayeon: and then momo told me she saw Winwin and Yuta looking all disheveled while walking together but we were like nah
Jungkook: well now you know sis
Nayeon: omg truly
Jungkook: also if you need some good making out spots in awards shows hit me up noona
Nayeon: omg thank you
KookieMonster: we can all chill now
HitTheYug: i still cant believe it
Megaphone: all this time??
Thaibaby: holy shit
Greekgod: Fucking Yuta and Winwin
Greekgod: horny bastards
KookieMonster: your horny bastards
KookieMonster: id be more concerned about jackson-hyung???
HitTheYug: dont worry about it
It might not be what you expected but I still hope you enjoyed!!
I just had to include Twice bc I love them so much tbh
Chapter 16: Of Hyungs and Kittens
T_Shining_Diamond asked: "Can u do a chapter where all the members get overprotective about their little brother group?"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Megaphone: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby @KookieMonster @Greekgod what just happened?
KookieMonster: bighits gonna fucking sue thats what happened
HitTheYug: i am so fucking angry what the fuck
Greekgod: the complete disrespect i dont understand
Lostboy: the internets raging what happened???
Thaibaby: i dont understand how some people think its okay
Thaibaby: to fucking degrade
Thaibaby: younger groups like that
KookieMonster: its hard enough to be compared to their seniors
KookieMonster: but the absolute disrespect theyve shown them
Greekgod: if SM doesnt flip shit I swear i will
HitTheYug: Stray Kids TXT and the dreams are fucking talented people and i wont stand for this
Thaibaby: im checking up on them
Thaibaby: @HitTheYug you coming?
KookieMonster: theyre fucking crying
KookieMonster: my heart hurts goddamit
EiffelPuppy: seok ming and i just watched the show
EiffelPuppy: what the fuck
Thaibaby: we're trying our best to console them
Greekgod: my babies are sad and i dont know what to do goddamit
Megaphone: how bad is it?
HitTheYug: theyre trying their best to not show that theyre upset but failing
HitTheYug: id be fucking bawling if someone insulted me like that when we'd just debuted
Lostboy: tell them their svt hyungs love them so much!!
Greekgod: dreamies say thank you
Greekgod: they smiled a bit so thats good
EiffelPuppy: wait i have an idea
EiffelPuppy: we cant just sit here and watch them be sad
EiffelPuppy: remember kook with flower crew?
KookieMonster: oh that was awful please dont
EiffelPuppy: remember what we did that same night?
KookieMonster: yeah that was fun
KookieMonster: wait a minute
KookieMonster: GYU YOU'RE A GENIUS
Thaibaby: i havent been there in so long
Lostboy: seok gyu and i went there a couple of weeks ago!!
Lostboy: the ahjumma was so happy to see us
Megaphone: she has new kittens!!
Greekgod: then its settled
EiffelPuppy: i can phone her now and ask her to keep it open past closing time
KookieMonster: that would be great thanks gyu
Thaibaby: hope she doesnt mind a full army coming her way
Megaphone: she actually asked about you guys so get ready to get an earful
Thaibaby: well shit
Greekgod: kay so 11 pm sounds good?
HitTheYug: we'll be there
Private chat: Jaehyun and Jaemin
Jaehyun: i want your group to be fully dressed and ready to go by 10:30 pm
Jaemin: whats going on?
Jaehyun: hyungs taking you out sweetheart
Jaehyun: and make sure not to tell anyone thats not part of the dreamies
Jaehyun: not even mark okay?
Jaemin: um okay hyung
Private chat: Bambam and Chan
Chan: hi hyung
Bambam: can you keep a secret?
Chan: yes hyung?
Bambam: your fave hyungs (aka yug and i) are taking your group out today night
Bambam: we're leaving by 10:30
Bambam: got it?
Chan: hyung you dont really have to
Chan: and what about our managers?
Bambam: dont worry about it
Bambam: just trust us okay?
Chan: where are we going?
Bambam: thats a surprise!!
Private chat: Jungkook and Soobin
Jungkook: soobin ah
Jungkook: whats your groups schedule like tomorrow?
Soobin: um late schedule hyung
Soobin: doesnt start until late afternoon
Jungkook: hyungs taking you guys out tonight
Soobin: hyung why
Jungkook: bc my friends and i dont like seeing you guys sad
Jungkook: so be ready we're meeting the rest at 11
Soobin: the rest?
Jungkook: yes the rest
Jungkook: now stop asking questions and just trust me
Jungkook: oh and dont tell anyone except your members
Jungkook: got it?
Soobin: yes hyung
EiffelPuppy: heres the group photo guys
Lostboy: mission accomplished
Greekgod: that was good
Greekgod: the dreamies had a lot of fun
HitTheYug: i think stray kids almost died out of happiness when they saw the kittens
KookieMonster: txt loved it!!
KookieMonster: but my ear still hurts
KookieMonster: damn ahjumma has good pulling skills
Thaibaby: yeah no shit my ear hurts too
Megaphone: lmao deserved
KookieMonster: oh dont act like that wasnt you 3 weeks ago
Greekgod: @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone @Lostboy thanks for coming along guys and setting this up
Thaibaby: yeah that was awesome thanks guys
Lostboy: it was fun!!
Lostboy: dont mention it :D
EiffelPuppy: yeah guys
EiffelPuppy: we should totally do this again tho
Megaphone: yeah i dont think my ear can survive another ear pulling
HitTheYug: oh totally
HitTheYug: i missed her tho
Seungcheol: @Mingyu @The8 @DK
Seungcheol: mind explain where have you been?
Seungcheol: and why you decided to come back at 4:30 in the morning?
Megaphone: WHAT THE FUCK
Lostboy: HOWD HE KNOW
EiffelPuppy: I DONT KNOW
HitTheYug: oh fuck
Greekgod: you guys are dead
Lostboy: WE ALWAYS SNEAK OUT AND THEY NEVER FIND OUT
Megaphone: WELL COUPS JUST DID
Thaibaby: holy shit
EiffelPuppy: im gonna go pray to every deity out there to not die thanks
Thaibaby: rip in peace Kim Mingyu, Lee Seokmin, and Xu Minghao 1997-2019.
HitTheYug: hey guys
HitTheYug: can you get killed faster and get it over with so we can go beat up some scum?
Megaphone: oh yeah sure
Megaphone: so funeral at 4 and rally at 5?
Megaphone: what the fuck kind of question is that yug
HitTheYug: geez sorry
And we're back to fluff ladies and gents
WRITING KOOK AS A HYUNG WAS SO WEIRD OH MY GOD
Also arent they just adorable as protective caring hyungs?
Hope I did you justice with this chapter!!
Also, I'd like to apologize for the less frequent updates. Thing is I'm doing a summer semester at uni so its harder for me to update during the weekdays. Im trying my best tho I promise
Chapter 17: Of Pasts and Filth
:-) asked: "oooh omg how about the boys teasing kook/the8/bam for being smol/shorties even tho they're like 178cm hehe (cos they're the shortest out of everyone) i can totes see yug/gyu doing this especially lolll"
sxmia said: "Somewhere along the line you should get all the groups to allow the 97s to hv sex together ... just a suggestion yunno just saying ...."
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
HitTheYug: so i was looking through my phone gallery
HitTheYug: and look what i found!!
Megaphone: oo wasn't this group photo when we went out bowling at like 2 am
Greekgod: yeah it is
EiffelPuppy: aww look at how tiny kook ming and bam look
HitTheYug: so small
Lostboy: oi whats the attack for
Lostboy: not all of us can be giant freaks like you
EiffelPuppy: you should speak up babe
EiffelPuppy: we cant hear you all the way down there
Thaibaby: oh you fucking menaces
Thaibaby: yall talk as if we're a meter tall wtf
KookieMonster: what is this blasphemy
Megaphone: kook used a big word!
KookieMonster: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn
Lostboy: we didnt even come out and we were already being attacked???
Thaibaby: tall people are so mean i s2g
HitTheYug: im sorry baby
HitTheYug: it must be hard to be so close to the ground
HitTheYug: isnt that what ants feel?
Thaibaby: you are not getting anything tonight, Kim Yugyeom.
Greekgod: oh shit
Greekgod: you fucked up man
Lostboy: stick it to him bam!
Lostboy: show him whos boss!
EiffelPuppy: aw the shorties are riling up!
EiffelPuppy: thats so cute!
EiffelPuppy: an army of tiny people
KookieMonster: speaking of tiny wasnt that everyones reaction when they saw your dick for the first time?
Megaphone: oh shit
Thaibaby: holy fuck that is brutal
HitTheYug: too far?
Lostboy: HOLY SHIT
EiffelPuppy: Jeon Jungkook.
Thaibaby: (boy is not happy yikes)
EiffelPuppy: you do realize you're talking about that same dick that almost split your mouth open that one time
Greekgod: im deceased
Thaibaby: HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM
HitTheYug: did he just do that???
HitTheYug: he just did.
HitTheYug: holy fuck
Megaphone: i cant
*Megaphone has left the group*
*Greekgod added Megaphone into the group*
Greekgod: get back in here
KookieMonster: oh yeah i remember that
KookieMonster: along with the desperation that came with it
KookieMonster: you came in like what
KookieMonster: 30 seconds?
Thaibaby: someone fucking open the windows because it is getting TOO HOT IN HERE
HitTheYug: is it strange that im slightly turned on
Thaibaby: youre fucking nasty babe
Greekgod: why is everyone here so goddamn horny all the fucking time
Megaphone: you wouldnt be in this group if you werent too jae
Greekgod: i sincerely hate that you're fucking right
EiffelPuppy: at least i didnt come from sucking dick alone
Lostboy: that hurts
Greekgod: ight thats it
Greekgod: fucking chill guys it was years ago
Greekgod: before anyone of us got into any of our relationships
Greekgod: so just move on and go suck someone elses dick
Private chat: Jungkook and Mingyu
Mingyu: does jae think we're actually mad??
Jungkook: yikes i think so
Mingyu: you're not actually mad tho are you?
Jungkook: nah bro ofc not
Jungkook: that was some good dick
Mingyu: and that was some good dick sucking
Jungkook: why thank you
Lostboy: im guessing youre pissed because no ones sucking your dick?
Greekgod: no ones in the dorm :/
HitTheYug: why dont you come over jae
HitTheYug: we'll take care of you ;)
Greekgod: tempting offer but imma have to pass thanks
Megaphone: ah come on we don't act so repulsed
Megaphone: we had fun back then
KookieMonster: not gonna lie
KookieMonster: i love my boyfriends and wouldnt think of doing things with anyone else
KookieMonster: but we did have fun
EiffelPuppy: remember that one time bam and ming made out and ming smacked his face because he was so ticklish
Lostboy: OH MY GOD
Thaibaby: that bruised for like a week
Lostboy: IM SORRY
Lostboy: IM SENSITIVE
Megaphone: oh we know babe
Megaphone: we know that very well ;)
KookieMonster: im sensing some freaky shit is about to happen in the svt dorm
Greekgod: i second that one
Lostboy: whats happening?
Megaphone: i think its about time we remembered how sensitive you are
EiffelPuppy: great so you'll excuse us while we take care of some... things...
Greekgod: TAEIL CAME BACK
Greekgod: time to put that strong throat to use ;)
KookieMonster: and i thought the freaky shit was gonna happen at the svt dorm
Lostboy: if i dont come back
Lostboy: you know why.
HitTheYug: rip in peace Xu Minghao 1997-2019.
Thaibaby: youre a brave one
HitTheYug: yes but im still turned on
Thaibaby: good lord just get over here and let me ride you
HitTheYug: gladly babe
KookieMonster: how did i end up being the most composed one out of all of us?
KookieMonster: yeah nvm i ended up having a threesome with tae and jimin
KookieMonster: twas fun
Greekgod: you truly belong in this group kook
Megaphone: Ming cant get to the phone rn but he says congrats
KookieMonster: even demolished hes still congratulating
KookieMonster: you the real friend ming :')
EiffelPuppy: he gave a thumbs up
EiffelPuppy: and hes passed out again
Greekgod: on a scale of one to ten how much exactly did you destroy him?
Megaphone: i'd say a solid 20
Greekgod: hang in there ming
THIS IS PURE FILTH IM SORRY
Wow im a mess, a thread:
- For the longest time I thought I did the height request??? But I didnt???
I legit had to reread the entire thing to notice that????
- For the record they werent in a romantic relationship for anyone whos confused. Just like brojobs and shit to release tension you know??
-Idk what I just wrote and im slightly horrified
Chapter 18: Of Parties and Creeps
elenoe1 asked: "Could you possibly do one where they are all at a party and one of them sends a random text saying something completely off topic. The rest of the group freaks out bc that was the code for “help” and go full Mission Impossible to find the ‘victim’ being harassed by a creep."
Multi_26 said: "I'm in desperate need of Yugy-centric things because they are just so less of it :( I would love it if you could do one ♡"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
EiffelPuppy: everyones coming to the awards after party right?
KookieMonster: on our way!
Thaibaby: has anyone seen yug?
KookieMonster: wasnt he with you like 5 minutes ago
Thaibaby: yeah he told jae and i hes getting a drink but hasnt come back
Megaphone: well hes not in the toilets
Megaphone: i was just there
Lostboy: maybe hes with the twice girls?
Thaibaby: ah yeah good point
HitTheYug: apples bananas chick fillet
Greekgod: can you tell us where you are?
KookieMonster: fuck hes not answering
EiffelPuppy: EVERYONE SPREAD OUT
EiffelPuppy: FIRST TO FIND HIM IMMEDIATELY TEXT US
Lostboy: got it
KookieMonster: ill check upstairs
Greekgod: ill check the outdoor area
Thaibaby: im on the first floor
Lostboy: im with kook
Megaphone: im with jae
EiffelPuppy: im with bam
Thaibaby: WE FOUND HIM
Lostboy: Is he okay??
Thaibaby: yes but the fucker touching him won't be.
Greekgod: hey has yug calmed down fully?
Thaibaby: hes still a bit shaken up but hes better
Thaibaby: the rest of our members refuse to let him go
Thaibaby: they say thanks btw
Lostboy: of course!!
Lostboy: yugs our bestfriend!!
KookieMonster: they dont need to thank us
KookieMonster: everyone here would do anything to protect our bestfriend
Thaibaby: yugs tired but hes reading the messages with me
Thaibaby: he says you guys are the best
Megaphone: you gave us a huge scare
Megaphone: we're just glad you're okay
Greekgod: the creep didnt.. touch you anywhere did he?
Thaibaby: GOD NO
Thaibaby: we came just in time
Thaibaby: yug says hes scared you guys will get in trouble
KookieMonster: dont worry about us yugi!
KookieMonster: if that fucker knows whats best for him he wont say a word about this
Greekgod: and besides kook and i could always give him another beating
Thaibaby: wont you guys get in trouble for physically assaulting him tho?
EiffelPuppy: well first he was the one who came onto yug without permission
EiffelPuppy: second he tried to make a pass at me first when i told him to step aside
EiffelPuppy: so technically speaking it was all self defence
Megaphone: and the cameras have it all recorded
Megaphone: so we're safe
Greekgod: @Lostboy you should start carrying your nunchucks around
Greekgod: that couldve been useful
Lostboy: oooo we couldve knocked some of his teeth out!
Lostboy: goddamit what a wasted opportunity
Thaibaby: hey yug actually smiled at that!
Megaphone: the baby of the group had a rough night
Megaphone: @Thaibaby please take care of him
Thaibaby: you say that as if he isnt being babied rn by 5 others
Thaibaby: yug says "'m not a baby!"
EiffelPuppy: we love you yugibear!
Megaphone: love you babe!
KookieMonster: we love our tall lanky bestfriend!
Thaibaby: aw hes blushing
Thaibaby: he says thanks
Thaibaby: and that he loves you all too
Thaibaby: MY HEART
Thaibaby: HES SO CUTE
Greekgod: dare I say whipped?
Lostboy: indeed he is
Thaibaby: btw @Greekgod @KookieMonster did the rest of your members say anything?
Thaibaby: since you guys did the most damage
Greekgod: ive actually been hiding in my room since we got back
KookieMonster: and im in the bathroom since they wont stop fretting over my bloody knuckles and i wanted to check on yug
KookieMonster: and theyre pounding on the door
KookieMonster: i should probably get out before they kick the door down?
Lostboy: you probably should kook
KookieMonster: uh huh
KookieMonster: you probably wont hear from me for the rest of the night
KookieMonster: so see ya guys
KookieMonster: BYE YUGIBEAR
Megaphone: hang in there kook
Megaphone: we want you alive thanks
Doyoung: why are there blood stains on the cup of water next to the sink?
Winwin: is someone hurt??
Greekgod: well shit
EiffelPuppy: way to go you idiot
Greekgod: im just glad taeyong didnt find out yet
Greekgod: i love him but he obsessively worries
Thaibaby: you should really get your hands cleaned tho
Greekgod: I know
Taeyong: SOMEONE'S HURT?!
Greekgod: aaaand he found out
Megaphone: good luck babe
Lostboy: id say good luck but you seriously need to take care of them so
EiffelPuppy: im with ming on this
Thaibaby: but anyways
Thaibaby: rip in peace Jung Yoonoh 1997-2019.
You guys are seriously suckers for angst. When did this book turn into a fluff fest?
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope I did both of you justice!!
We stan protective bestfriends.
Chapter 19: Of Parties and Creeps Pt.2
Adommy88 said: " I would love to actually see what the Hyungs said when they saw the injured boys."
codeerror1004 asked: "hi do you mind doing a continuation of this chapter!! thank u!!"
anon asked: "lowkey, can u make a continuation of this chapter please?"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Megaphone: we havent heard from kook or jae in a while
Megaphone: @Greekgod @KookieMonster y'all okay?
KookieMonster: define okay
Thaibaby: yug and i are scared now
KookieMonster: idk jaes condition but
KookieMonster: you know how my boyfriends tend to be borderline obsessive sometimes?
KookieMonster: especially since im the baby of the group
EiffelPuppy: i thought only your knuckles were hurt?
KookieMonster: THEY ARE
Lostboy: then why are you bandaged from head to toe?
KookieMonster: I DONT KNOW
KookieMonster: THEY TRIED TO WRAP ME WITH BUBBLE WRAP
KookieMonster: anyways im hiding in the closet now
KookieMonster: if anyone of you ever loved me please dont tell them where i am
HitTheYug: i actually feel bad for you
Thaibaby: you have our word goddamn
Megaphone: and jae?
HitTheYug: holy shit he actually died
Jungwoo: whos actually hurt???
Mark: is he okay?!
Ten: our sweet baby jaehyun has decided to be a hero!
Ten: so we decided to show him what a good brave boy he was
Ten: after we made sure to clean his wounds
Ten: my boyfriend is such a strong man
Haechan: i lowkey forgot how scary ten-hyung could be
Mark: yeah uh same
Taeyong: anyways hes sleeping now
Taeyong: he needs his rest :(
HitTheYug: what the actual fuck he seriously isnt answering
Lostboy: WHERE TF HAVE YOU BEEN
Greekgod: its winwin from nct
EiffelPuppy: hey winwin hows it been going?
Greekgod: im just texting you guys to tell you jae is just resting!!
Greekgod: but he told me to text you guys since you might be worried!!
Greekgod: something about me being the only trustworthy one or something?
Greekgod: idk he was a bit hazy
Thaibaby: sounds about right
Thaibaby: he'd probs trust you with his life
Megaphone: oh precious baby is here!
Megaphone: hi winwin!
Greekgod: precious baby?
Megaphone: its what he calls you all the time
Greekgod: what else does he do?
KookieMonster: uh i think we're all very interested in finding out what happened to jae?
Greekgod: basically taeyong hyung went ballistic
Greekgod: tended his wounds and fed him like a momma bear
Greekgod: but then ten and the other hyungs decided he deserved a prize for being such a caring bestfriend
Lostboy: please spare us the details thanks bb
KookieMonster: well id say jae had a more eventful night than i did
KookieMonster: some people get sex as a reward
KookieMonster: i get wrapped in bubblewrap
KookieMonster: how is that fair
HitTheYug: wow i cant believe im saying this
HitTheYug: but you are so welcome jae
HitTheYug: nice seeing you winwin!
Greekgod: you too!!
Greekgod: hope you're okay now!!
HitTheYug: im fine :D
Greekgod: ill be off now
Megaphone: seriously jaes right
Megaphone: no wonder hes whipped
Greekgod: i fucking hate you all
EiffelPuppy: jaes back!
Lostboy: had fun? ;)
Greekgod: as a matter of fact
Greekgod: i fucking did
Thaibaby: atta boy
Greekgod: i cant really walk for the next week but its okay
KookieMonster: THATS NOT FUCKING FAIRRRRRR
Greekgod: ha my boyfriends are better than yours
KookieMonster: normally id argue
KookieMonster: but today?
KookieMonster: youre fucking RIGHT
HitTheYug: are you still in the closet?
KookieMonster: what do you think?
KookieMonster: of course.
KookieMonster: im never leaving this place
Jin: JEON JUNGKOOK
Jin: WE'VE WAITED FOR TOO LONG
Jin: IF YOU DON'T OPEN THAT CLOSET I'M KICKING IT DOWN
Jin: JIMIN GET READY
Jimin: ON YOUR MARK HYUNG
KookieMonster: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
KookieMonster: guess im going out
Megaphone: good luck soldier
HitTheYug: our prayers are with you
Thaibaby: rip in peace Jeon Jungkook 1997-2019.
What is this? A second update????
Wow so many of you guys requested this so here you go! I needed to bring back the crack aspect here so for those expecting fluff: sorry not sorry.
Also I included Winwin for those who wanted to see him without actually adding him in the group (as he isnt actually part of it in real life)
Chapter 20: Of Studios and Cuddles
Anon asked: "Hi! I was wondering if you could make a chapter Jaehyun centric please!"
dontleave said: "please! jae centric, that cute bread 🥯 lookin ass doesn’t get enough love ;-;"
suhwayv said: "Yesssss please a Jae centric one 🥺"
Jummyeons_Pout asked: "can you do an angsty jaehyun centric chapter?"
By popular demand, here is a jae-centric chapter :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
HitTheYug: thought y'all should know
HitTheYug: bam has been laughing on the floor for the past half an hour
HitTheYug: when i asked him why
HitTheYug: he said "remember the first time gyu gave seok a blowjob?"
Megaphone: GENIUNELY STOP
Megaphone: NOT MY BEST MOMENT OK
EiffelPuppy: i can physically feel my balls shrink everytime i remember that
Megaphone: IM SORRY
Megaphone: IT WAS MY FIRST TIME AND YOU WERE ALL THERE
EiffelPuppy: I KNOW
Thaibaby: WE ALL KNOW
KookieMonster: I think jae almsot had to go the hospital because of how hard he was laughing HAHAHHA
Lostboy: you okay jae?
Lostboy: usually you'd be busting a lung by now
Greekgod: I'm fine don't worry
HitTheYug: jae please
HitTheYug: don't even think of trying to fool us
Greekgod: I'm sorry
Greekgod: suffocated I guess??
Greekgod: Basically we have a comeback soon and everyone's been tense
Greekgod: and it just exploded today during dance practice
Greekgod: the hyungs started yelling at each other and then at the younger ones
Megaphone: oh jae :(
Megaphone: we all know you hate fighting
Megaphone: you okay?
Greekgod: yeah i didn't actually get into it
Greekgod: So i just went back to the dorm and im sitting in my room avoiding everyone
Thaibaby: is this another puppy cafe situation?
Thaibaby: yug and i will need 10 mins to be there
Greekgod: no no
Greekgod: i appreciate it you guys but I just want some peace and quietness
KookieMonster: location to my studio
KookieMonster: its quiet plus im sure you could use a hug jae
Greekgod: i don't to be a bother
Greekgod: ill just stick to my room
KookieMonster: its no bother really
HitTheYug: yeah come on bam and i will pick you up
HitTheYug: we promise we'll be quiet!!
Greekgod: are you sure its okay?
Thaibaby: too late we're already on the way
EiffelPuppy: wish we could be there but our group's schedule is packed :(
Megaphone: take care of him you three okay?
KookieMonster: please seok dont you trust us?
Megaphone: i don't trust anyone in this group
Lostboy: i don't even trust myself at this point
EiffelPuppy: he's asleep??
Thaibaby: kook gave him a hug and jae ended up falling asleep cuddled on top of him
Megaphone: they look adorable aw
Megaphone: poor jae must have been really bummed huh
EiffelPuppy: he acts tough and all but we all know he's a big softie
Lostboy: aw who knew kook could be such a caring friend
HitTheYug: kook cant use his phone rn without waking jae up but he says fuck you
Lostboy: i feel the love kooks
HitTheYug: he says go suck a dick
Lostboy: what makes you think i'm not already?
Thaibaby: the fact that coups hyung would have your ass rn if you don't finish practice
Yuta: I know we're all mad at each other and all
Yuta: but if you could all just grow up a bit
Johnny: don't fucking disrespect your hyungs
Yuta: Yoonoh's missing
Doyoung: what do you mean jae's missing?
Yuta: I mean that he's missing.
Yuta: he's not in the dorm he's not in the studios and he won't answer my calls or messages
Ten: we drove him away fuck
Taeyong: what do you mean we drove him away
Ten: he hates fights hes always been sensitive to them and we just had a big one
Ten: what do you think hyung
Taeyong: but he usually stays in his room when that happens
Yuta: well he's not there
Winwin: what if he's with the 97-Liners?
Taeyong: yeah maybe
Taeyong: I'll see
Taeyong: hey guys
Taeyong: how are you?
JB: what's wrong?
Taeyong: jae's missing and it might have been our fault
Taeyong: we kinda had a fight
Taeyong: we're worried because he hasn't been even answering our calls or messages
Taeyong: i just wanted to see if he's with any of your members?
Seungcheol: sorry no all my members are here
JB: yug and bam arent here
Namjoon: I'll ask kook one sec
Namjoon: he isn't answering I'll go see him in his studio
Namjoon: went in the studio and found this
Namjoon: he's safe don't worry
JB: so that's where the boys went
Taeyong: oh thank god
Taeyong: We'll come pick him up
Taeyong: thank you so much hyung
Namjoon: no wait
Namjoon: keep him a bit
Namjoon: by the time he's back you'll have talked it out with the rest of your members
JB: he's right
JB: gives you a chance to calm down
Taeyong: you're probably right
Taeyong: thank you again
Seungcheol: i didn't know the boys were that close with each other
Seungcheol: i mean i knew they were close but i've never seen them like that
JB: me neither
JB: jaes practically a koala cuddled on kook
JB: aw is the leader soft for his maknae?
Namjoon: sue me
EiffelPuppy: so what happened??
Thaibaby: he woke up about an hour later so we took him back to his dorm
Thaibaby: and now we're waiting to see what happened
Megaphone: oh that's good i guess
Lostboy: everything okay??
Greekgod: they talked while i was gone
Greekgod: i felt bad for guiltying them though
KookieMonster: dont jae
KookieMonster: you needed some space its okay
Greekgod: thank you kook
Greekgod: sorry i fell asleep on you like that
KookieMonster: dont be!!
KookieMonster: it was literally no bother
EiffelPuppy: we're glad you're fine now
Megaphone: it's okay to be vulnerable around us jae
Megaphone: we might be little shits but you know you can trust us right?
KookieMonster: you have the location to my studio if you ever need a quiet place
KookieMonster: offer goes to all
HitTheYug: give us a call and we'll pick you up!!
Greekgod: thanks guys really
Greekgod: I love you guys
Lostboy: GASP WHAT IS THIS
Lostboy: JAE SAID HE LOVED US???
Lostboy: SOMEONE RIGHT THIS DOWN IN HISTORY LADIES AND GENTS
Lostboy: or just gents in this case
Greekgod: fuck you this is literally why i never say that
EiffelPuppy: what a day
EiffelPuppy: jae finally admitted he loves us
Greekgod: i won't hesitate to beat you all up
HitTheYug: but you wont
Thaibaby: cuz you loooove us :DDD
Greekgod: i take it back
Greekgod: i hate you all
KookieMonster: no refunds or exchanges
Megaphone: we have receipts now ;)
Thaibaby: love you too jae
Greekgod: yeah yeah
I was supposed to update yesterday but I didn't.
Because I wrote the chapter, finished, and then I fucking accidentally DELETED IT.
Then I re-wrote the chapter, did half of the editing, and fucking accidentally deleted the editing too.
So after many trials and hardships, I really hope you enjoy.
Chapter 21: Of Dogpiles and Jealousy
Mellifluous asked: "I dont know how many requests you have but could you maybe do one where the memebers are jealous of the 97 line friendship???just a thought i would want to see"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Private chat: Mingyu and Taeyong
Mingyu: hi hyung!!
Mingyu: sorry if I'm bothering you!!
Taeyong: hey mingyu ah
Taeyong: its no bother :)
Taeyong: what's up?
Mingyu: the guys and i wanted your permission to kidnap jae for the day
Mingyu: you know after the whole thing last week
Taeyong: yeah sure let him have fun :)
Mingyu: ofc!! Anything for our tsundere baby
Mingyu: thanks hyung!!
Taeyong: oh anytime!
Megaphone: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby did y'all kidnap jae yet
Thaibaby: yup we're on our way
Thaibaby: jaes still blushing like a tomato lmaooooo
KookieMonster: AHHAHA AW WHAT HAPPENED
Greekgod: idk my members were being so weird man
Greekgod: I told them I was leaving with you guys and everyone started shouting byes and calling me 'their baby'
Greekgod: which they rarely do??
Lostboy: awww looks like someone likes it ;)
Thaibaby: im scared if we talk about it he'll get hard in our car LMAO
Greekgod: I WILL NOT
Thaibaby: yug and i won't judge if you did ;)
Greekgod: i'll beat you both.
Megaphone: we're waiting for you at the parking
Yugyeom: here's the dogpile y'all
Bambam: wrong group yug
Yugyeom: SHIT AHHAHA
Yugyeom: sorry hyungs!!
Youngjae: haha looks like you guys had fun?
Bambam: lmao yeah
Bambam: im surprised ikea didnt kick us out
Jinyoung: you were at ikea?
Jinyoung: thats awfully domestic
Yugyeom: kook figured we're gonna be crashing at his studio alot so he needed a new couch
Jackson: oh cool
Taeyong: were they in ikea?
Seungcheol: but the boys never went with me to ikea
Namjoon: isnt their close friendship so beautiful
Taeyong: a little too close don't you think
Taeyong: yeah I am
Taeyong: mingyu called him their baby.
Taeyong: tell me now
Taeyong: aren't you guys?
Seungcheol: fuck it yes I am
Namjoon: kook gave them the location to his studio when he would tease us about going there for months
Namjoon: ok so maybe we are a little jealous
JB: you think?
Seungcheol: so what's the plan
Lostboy: why is everyone acting so weird today??
Megaphone: our groups so weird today
Megaphone: the younger ones wont leave gyu ming and I alone
Megaphone: and the older ones are just really sweet and caring?
Megaphone: not to mention we cant go anywhere without anyone tagging along
Lostboy: not that they arent usually
Lostboy: just extra today???
Lostboy: gyu cant reach his phone bc he's under a pile of woozi and seungkwan
KookieMonster: YOU TOO?!
Megaphone: wait you too???
KookieMonster: they've been babying me since the morning!!
KookieMonster: not that im complaining but
KookieMonster: jin hyung has been giving me piggy back rides all day??
KookieMonster: which i usually have to beg for
KookieMonster: and then we had a dogpile
Greekgod: you've gotta be kidding me
Greekgod: i've been stuck under a dogpile for like 3 hours
Greekgod: like a dogpile with 6 members is hard
Greekgod: imagine 12????
Lostboy: how tf are you alive
Greekgod: but seriously everyone's been clingy
Greekgod: and excessive use of 'baby'
Greekgod: and i wouldn't mind it except for the fact that i can't even use the bathroom in peace??
HitTheYug: yeah no shit
HitTheYug: what the fuck is up with everyone????
HitTheYug: like the attention is appreciated
HitTheYug: but out of nowhere??
HitTheYug: its not my or bams birthday
HitTheYug: its not our anniversary
Lostboy: wheres bam??
HitTheYug: JB hyung and mark hyung took him on a shopping spree
HitTheYug: also not to mention
HitTheYug: our necks are covered in hickeys
Greekgod: holy shit
Lostboy: and all over my thighs
KookieMonster: hold up i smell something fishy here
Megaphone: didn't your hyungs make fish today
KookieMonster: but not the point
KookieMonster: isnt it weird that all our members are acting weird
Greekgod: oh my god i got it
Greekgod: wouldn't you say they're acting possessive?
HitTheYug: OH MY GOD YES
Lostboy: that makes so much sense
Megaphone: but why would they be possessive though
Megaphone: is it bc of the yug thing?
HitTheYug: that was over a month ago tho
KookieMonster: then what?
Greekgod: no clue
Greekgod: just happened
Thaibaby: yug told me everything
Greekgod: so doyoung and i were just talking about random things and laughing
Greekgod: and then i mentioned wanting to visit kooks studio to see the new couch and beanbag
Greekgod: and then he legit stopped mid laugh and became quiet???
KookieMonster: what the fuck
KookieMonster: did i do something??
Greekgod: im pretty sure you didn't because then I mentioned having yug and bam take me to your studio again and then he started glaring???
EiffelPuppy: wait a minute
EiffelPuppy: @Greekgod mention us
Greekgod: you having the same thoughts as I am?
EiffelPuppy: only one way to find out
Megaphone: i think i get it
Greekgod: holy shit
Greekgod: they're not happy.
HitTheYug: you wanna explain?
Lostboy: HOLY SHIT
EiffelPuppy: bam yug ask your hyungs permission to go to kooks studio or something
EiffelPuppy: @KookieMonster tell your hyungs we're visiting
KookieMonster: mind explaining??
Megaphone: you'll understand immediately
KookieMonster: HOLY FUCK
Thaibaby: THEY'RE JEALOUS?!
HitTheYug: OF YOU GUYS
Greekgod: i can't believe they're jealous oh my god
EiffelPuppy: this is priceless
Megaphone: it makes so much sense HAHAHAH
Greekgod: so basically
Greekgod: our members are possessive because they're jealous of us
Megaphone: okay okay jokes aside
Megaphone: should we talk to them??
HitTheYug: technically speaking?
KookieMonster: but this is so funny i cant
KookieMonster: i think i bust a lung
Lostboy: ME TOO
Megaphone: keep it down!!
Megaphone: theyll come after us!!
Megaphone: YOU TOO GYU
Greekgod: okay okay
Greekgod: what could have triggered it?
Greekgod: we've been friends for a long time
HitTheYug: i think it started from here?
HitTheYug: i accidently sent our group photos at ikea on the group
KookieMonster: how the hell did you not notice the passive aggressiveness
Thaibaby: hes right wtf how did we not
EiffelPuppy: wait a second
Greekgod: YOU CALLED ME A BABY IN FRONT OF TAEYONG HYUNG
EiffelPuppy: would that explain why your members keep calling you baby?
Greekgod: omg it does
Greekgod: i'm still murdering you later on
EiffelPuppy: yeah yeah
KookieMonster: i think
KookieMonster: each one of us should have a nice long talk with their members and report back?
Lostboy: i'm with him on that one
Thaibaby: not a bad idea
Greekgod: hm yeah i think so too
EiffelPuppy: good plan
Megaphone: good good
Seungcheol: so i have reasons to believe that we may have been a bit irrational?
Namjoon: uh huh
Namjoon: i must agree
JB: they gave you a scolding too didn't they
Seungcheol: they did it to you?
Taeyong: maybe we were a bit too jealous over nothing?
Taeyong: i mean they're allowed to have other friends...
JB: if you'll excuse me now
JB: my members and I have an apology letter to write to your boys
EiffelPuppy: we are so keeping these for blackmail
EiffelPuppy: great job everyone
Greekgod: why thank you
HitTheYug: it was an absolute pleasure
HitTheYug: i felt like the hyung for once LMAOO
KookieMonster: they looked like dejected puppies
Megaphone: i should feel bad
Megaphone: but I dont HAHAHAH
Thaibaby: man if they were jealous because of that picture
Thaibaby: what do you think would happen if they knew exactly what we did before we got together
KookieMonster: oh god
Megaphone: im sure they wont let us see each other ever again probably
Greekgod: you think??
KookieMonster: i think my hyungs think i was a virgin before we got together
Lostboy: NO WAY
EiffelPuppy: YOU'RE KIDDING
KookieMonster: they never asked so i never told them
HitTheYug: oh my god kook
EiffelPuppy: you're fucked if they find out
KookieMonster: don't I know it lads
Aiiii this chapter's a complete mess.
Chapter 22: Of Stress and Expectations
Nightingale0124 asked: "hi! can you do a mingyu-centric chap please?"
dontleave asked: "i don’t really have a specific request, but maybe just all of them hanging out together again? cuddling, drinking, anything really. or maybe since people want a mingyu centric, you can do gyu going to kookie’s studio because of some issues with himself or band"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Hoshi: we're going over another part of the choreo tomorrow so I hope everyone's got their parts down
Hoshi: that goes to you @Mingyu practice well tonight
Mingyu: oh sure hyung
Mingyu: as if I haven't been practicing my ass off for the past 2 weeks
Woozi: hey you have no right to talk to your hyung like that
Woozi: you've been lacking and we can all see that
Woozi: you haven't even been hitting the notes properly
Mingyu: I've been practicing??
Joshua: you're usually better than this though
Joshua: I don't understand
Joshua: why are you being like this?
Mingyu: being like what?
Mingyu: huh hyung?
Seungcheol: watch your tone mingyu
Seungcheol: you've been snappy all week and downright disrespectful to your hyungs and your dongsaengs
Seungcheol: you being the face of the group doesn't give you mighty privileges over the rest of us
Mingyu: I'm done
The8: now you've done it
Seungkwan: way to go hyungs
Jeonghan: what's with the sudden attack huh?
DK: That we're tired and stressed and you've been pouring everything on Mingyu even though he's trying his fucking best
Private Chat: Mingyu and Yugyeom
Yugyeom: hey gyu
Mingyu: can you pick me up?
Mingyu: or nevermind of course you're busy or relaxing from a long day
Mingyu: sorry i asked
Yugyeom: hey hey
Yugyeom: where are you?
Mingyu: hiding in an empty make up room
Yugyeom: I need 15 minutes max okay?
Mingyu: if you're busy please don't
Yugyeom: Im not
Yugyeom: bam is im not i promise
Private Chat: Yugyeom and Jungkook
Yugyeom: I really hope you're in your studio rn
Jungkook: i am whats up
Yugyeom: open up
KookieMonster: @Megaphone @Lostboy
KookieMonster: you two better be in here I swear to god or you won't be happy
Greekgod: what happened???
Thaibaby: yo what's up?
KookieMonster: you want to fucking explain to me why Mingyu showed up with Yugyeom holding him at my door at 10 pm stressed and crying his eyes out?
Lostboy: oh thank god he's with you two
Megaphone: the hyungs were being a bit too harsh on him kook
Megaphone: we swear they didn't mean to hurt him
Lostboy: its the new comeback
Lostboy: everyone's been stressed
Megaphone: then the hyungs scolded him over the groupchat but he disappeared
Megaphone: and when he did the groupchat blew up
Lostboy: seok and I tried calling him and texting him but he wouldn't pick up
Greekgod: he looks on the brink of exhaustion
Greekgod: what did you do??
Thaibaby: he looks absolutely devastated
KookieMonster: you're not getting him back until you solve this.
Lostboy: kookie please at least you and yug convince him to answer his phone
Megaphone: he's been tired and stressed and we've all been to blind to notice that
Megaphone: we're really sorry
Lostboy: we really are
EiffelPuppy: it's not your fault
EiffelPuppy: you weren't the harsh ones
Megaphone: but we didn't do anything to defend you either
Megaphone: we're all packed and stressed but that gives us no excuse
Lostboy: everyone's been harsh but you got most of it
Lostboy: please gyu
EiffelPuppy: its okay
Megaphone: it really isn't
Megaphone: please answer our group
HitTheYug: you do realize this can't just be solved over text
Lostboy: yes but at least he can tell us exactly what he feels without being interrupted
HitTheYug: kook and i are keeping him here until we're sure he wont be crying again
KookieMonster: fucking try us
Mingyu: um hey
Seungcheol: gyu please come back so we can solve this
Seungcheol: we realized we were a bit harsh
The8: a bit?
Woozi: okay we were really harsh but please understand
Mingyu: i know we're all stressed hyungs
Mingyu: and i know everyone's been working hard
Mingyu: and i'm sorry i couldn't be your perfect member this time
Mingyu: i'm tired and stressed and i couldn't just do it under pressure
Joshua: we know gyu
Joshua: we've all been taking out our stress in a bad way
Hoshi: its just
Hoshi: you're our perfect package
Hoshi: you sing rap and dance and you're our face
Hoshi: you do it so well everytime that we tend to forget you're human too
Hoshi: that you're not a machine who can be perfect all the time
Jeonghan: we look up to you even
Jeonghan: i always wonder how you could do it
Mingyu: but i can't always do it
Mingyu: please understand
Mingyu: i try so hard to impress you all
Mingyu: but its just so hard hyungs
Mingyu: and when i couldnt do it i just felt stressed and embarrassed
Wonwoo: of what?
Wonwoo: being normal?
Wonwoo: the truth is we pushed you hard and past your breaking point because we thought you were practically invincible
Wonwoo: but you arent thats okay
Wonwoo: whats not okay was the fact that we and especially the hyungs thought we were entitled to push you that far
Seungcheol: we're sorry gyu
Seungcheol: you have no idea
Seungcheol: i think we all realized it after we basically blew up at each other
Joshua: we love you
Joshua: please know that?
Mingyu: i know
Mingyu: i guess i just needed to get out a bit
Woozi: please come back so we can properly settle this
Mingyu: I'd like to stay here for a while if that's okay?
Seungcheol: take the time you need
Seungcheol: we'll be waiting okay?
Lostboy: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy we're having a dogpile tonight I don't care what anyone wants
HitTheYug: who said youre getting him back?
Megaphone: please yug and kook?
Megaphone: they talked it over!
KookieMonster: yeah we saw
KookieMonster: think we're gonna give him up easily?
Lostboy: jesus you two are acting like his boyfriends
Megaphone: we want our boyfriend back pleaseeeeeee
Greekgod: were they this protective when I went over?
Greekgod: i can't remember much since i fell asleep
Thaibaby: hell yeah we were
Thaibaby: namjoon hyung was probably lowkey scared when he saw yug and i sitting like watch dogs and kook wrapped around you like a snake
Greekgod: aw thanks guys
Thaibaby: of course of course
EiffelPuppy: i think i'm ready to go back
KookieMonster: you sure?
HitTheYug: but ONLY because he said so
Lostboy: yes okay
Megaphone: but really thanks for taking care of him
KookieMonster: youre welcome
KookieMonster: but that better not happen again
Lostboy: it wont
Seungcheol: its late i know
Seungcheol: but @Namjoon @JB
Seungcheol: please thank jungkook and yugyeom for taking care of mingyu when we couldnt
JB: uh sure
JB: everything okay?
Seungcheol: just some issues to resolve
Lostboy: WE GOT A DOGPILE HA
Thaibaby: good lord
Thaibaby: listen my only question here is how the fuck did you fit that many people in there?
KookieMonster: exactly what i was thinking
Greekgod: speaking from experience?
Greekgod: sheer will power
HitTheYug: yeah no shit
HitTheYug: so im guessing you guys talked it over?
Lostboy: everyone cried
KookieMonster: when do you not cry really
Lostboy: says you
Lostboy: you literally cry at the end of each concert
KookieMonster: its an emotional moment okay
Greekgod: anyways we're glad things worked out
Greekgod: but if this happens again
Greekgod: kook and i dont visit the gym regularly for nothing
Lostboy: YES SIR
Hey NCT Dream stans, how we doin?
Bc I'm certainly dead after that comeback
I remember more people asking for a Mingyu-centric chapter but I can't find the comments.
Anyways, a heavy chapter I know but I hope you like it.
We'll get back to crack later on don't worry
Chapter 23: Of Medicines and Zebras
Dawnbreak55 asked: "smth he was already really sick and needed a lot of medication that made him kind of loopy and hazy causing him to just be completely ridiculous/soft/whipped/random/say (or write??) everything hes thinking and yeah oof"
yugyeommybear asked: "Can you make a chapter where one of them is drunk and thinks they’re pregnant"
-Have some bambam-centric crack! Doesn't mean I won't be doing bambam-centric angst. I'm making sure everyone gets their own angst chapter, don't worry :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
HitTheYug: sup gays
EiffelPuppy: WHY ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL
Lostboy: WHOS DYING
Thaibaby: calm down you hoes i just sprained my ankle
Thaibaby: doc checked it and is prescribing some meds
Greekgod: howd you do that?
Thaibaby: fell down the stairs
HitTheYug: he was riding jackson hyung and accidently rode too hard
Megaphone: only you bam i swear
Thaibaby: thanks for sparing my dignity yug
Thaibaby: really appreciate it
HitTheYug: anytime babe
Greekgod: well get well soon!
Thaibaby: thank you jae
Thaibaby: the real og i swear
Thaibaby: the rest of you are snakes
Lostboy: oh pipe down you're a snake too
Thaibaby: ok true
HitTheYug: thanks for the get well soon gifts
HitTheYug: im sure he'll love them!!
EiffelPuppy: how's he doing?
HitTheYug: good hes asleep now
HitTheYug: gotta warn you tho
HitTheYug: meds are making him woozy
Greekgod: woozy how...?
HitTheYug: youll know
Thaibaby: my tummy feels weird
Megaphone: whats wrong bammie
Thaibaby: weird tummy
Thaibaby: oh my god... im pregnant
Thaibaby: IM GONNA BE A MOMMY!
Greekgod: bam sweetheart
Greekgod: guys can't be pregnant
Thaibaby: shh dont let the baby hear you!!
HitTheYug: youre not pregnant
Thaibaby: im not?
HitTheYug: no sweetie
Thaibaby: but tummy feels weird???
Thaibaby: make noises...
HitTheYug: thats because you havent eaten anything yet
HitTheYug: ill ask jinyoung hyung to make you something to eat
KookieMonster: okay this is lowkey highkey adorable
Thaibaby: ITS THE COOKIE MONSTUR!!
Thaibaby: YOURE NOT TAKING ANY OF MY COOKIES OKAY
Thaibaby: ILL FIGHT YOU
KookieMonster: IM STEALING ALL YOUR COOKIES
Thaibaby: YUG HELP!!!
Thaibaby: THE COOKIE MONSTER IS GONNA TAKE MY COOKIES
HitTheYug: he wont babe
Thaibaby: youll save all my cookies?
HitTheYug: of course!!!
Thaibaby: love you yugi!!!!!!
Megaphone: fucking whipped
HitTheYug: hes never this cuddly leave me be
Lostboy: you heard the man
Lostboy: what i would give for woozi hyung to be this cuddly with me
Thaibaby: guys,, we should go on a trip to outer space,,,
Megaphone: uh huh and where would we go?
Thaibaby: the talking zebra told me we should visit his galaxy!!
Greekgod: and what else did the talking zebra say?
Thaibaby: he also said that paint the jyp building pink...
KookieMonster: why pink?
Thaibaby: i dont know
Thaibaby: i want it purple :/
HitTheYug: you should be sleeping
Thaibaby: i dont want to be rude to the talking zebra!
Thaibaby: i cant just sleep when hes right there!
HitTheYug: im sure the talking zebra needs to go back to his galaxy to sleep too right?
Thaibaby: yeah youre right :/
Thaibaby: he said the ride was long
HitTheYug: alright lets put you to bed
Megaphone: okay seriously tho why can't bam be always this adorable
Lostboy: i'm crying
Lostboy: THIS IS TOO CUTE
EiffelPuppy: ok but same
EiffelPuppy: hey yug
EiffelPuppy: whatever hes on?
EiffelPuppy: i want it
Thaibaby: @EiffelPuppy are you as tall as the eiffel tower?
Thaibaby: bc that shit huge man
Megaphone: he is
Thaibaby: a talking megaphone???
Thaibaby: did you come from the talking zebras galaxy???
Thaibaby: say hi to my friend!!
Megaphone: uh of course!!
Greekgod: hey @HitTheYug how long does he have to take these meds?
HitTheYug: well the really strong one should wear off by tomorrow
HitTheYug: and then he'll be on lighter ones
Greekgod: oh good
Greekgod: hes gonna freak when they wear down
HitTheYug: oh yeah
HitTheYug: you dont even wanna know what hes been saying at the dorms man
Lostboy: should be hilarious
HitTheYug: oh yeah
HitTheYug: jinyoung hyungs officially mom
HitTheYug: jackson hyung is bams servant for some reason
HitTheYug: youngjae hyung is 'mr cuddly bear!!'
HitTheYug: JB hyungs the dorm cat for some reason??
HitTheYug: and mark hyungs is bams celebrity crush with the good hair
KookieMonster: this is amazing i love it
Lostboy: what are you?
HitTheYug: no fucking clue man
KookieMonster: im saving this conversation for blackmail
Greekgod: disappointed but not surprised
EiffelPuppy: hey someone had to do it
Megaphone: this group is nothing without blackmail
Greekgod: i thought its nothing without shamelessness?
Lostboy: that too
Thaibaby: you fuckers
Thaibaby: i cant believe you led me on wtf
Lostboy: oh hi bam the meds finally wore off!!
Megaphone: hope you liked our gifts!
Thaibaby: i did actually the cookies were so good holy shit
KookieMonster: the bakery i got them from is amazing i swear
Thaibaby: youve gotta give me their address man
Thaibaby: I WAS SIDE TRACKED
Thaibaby: BACK TO MY MAIN POINT
Thaibaby: YOU FUCKERS LED ME ON
Greekgod: and it was fun too
Greekgod: the talking zebra was a bit worrying i gotta say
Greekgod: but the rest was absolute gold thank you for this quality content
EiffelPuppy: screenshotted and saved
EiffelPuppy: for life
Thaibaby: i really
Thaibaby: feel like dying rn
HitTheYug: oh shush like you wouldnt have done this too
Thaibaby: goddamit youre right
Thaibaby: this group sucks
Megaphone: we feel the love bam
Thaibaby: you know what
Thaibaby: @HitTheYug wheres youngjae
HitTheYug: mr cuddly bear
HitTheYug: i mean youngjae hyungs in his room
Thaibaby: shut up shut up shUT UP SHUT UP
Thaibaby: im gonna go fucking cuddle with him
Thaibaby: yall suck.
EiffelPuppy: joke's on you minghaos already sucking my dick
Thaibaby: fuck you.
A few things:
- I feel like I have to clarify how this works: I take all requests into account. If you don't see yours it means that I haven't done it yet. Some requests I do directly, some I save for a more convenient time but I'm trying my best to do everything!!
-I have a surprise for all of you later on ;)
-Hope you enjoyed the crack before the drama that's about to come later on ;)))))
-And lastly,,,,,, Seventeen stans how we doin?
Bc if any of you saw me that would be my ghost floating around as I am deceased
(Oh and do any of you watch money heist?)
Chapter 24: Of Misunderstandings and Trauma
Hachikin1688 asked: "So I have this one line that I can't get out of my head after all of this, and that's someone, in the middle of a conversation about, Lord knows what, saying "wait, what? That's an actual thing?"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Thaibaby: quick question
Thaibaby: have any of you tried sounding?
EiffelPuppy: god no
Megaphone: definitely not
Lostboy: almost did once
Lostboy: yeah what makes you so surprised
Thaibaby: impressed truly
EiffelPuppy: why are you asking
Thaibaby: idk jackson hyung brought it up
HitTheYug: (because he's weird like that)
Thaibaby: and i was just curious
KookieMonster: oo i did!!
Greekgod: oh my god
KookieMonster: why are you guys so surprised
KookieMonster: you know i like to produce music too
KookieMonster: just ask woozi hyung
Greekgod: what do you mean by sounding?
KookieMonster: like when you play with the sounds on the mixer board...?
KookieMonster: whats the matter with you
EiffelPuppy: someone's gotta tell him
Megaphone: it aint me chief
Lostboy: what he said
Thaibaby: youve never heard a sounding device before?
KookieMonster: now yall are making me question myself
Thaibaby: its a sexual device sweetheart
Thaibaby: rods you stick in your dick basically
KookieMonster: wait, thats an actual thing?!
KookieMonster: what the fuck
HitTheYug: uh yeah
HitTheYug: how do you not know this
KookieMonster: WHY WOULD I KNOW THIS
KookieMonster: I DONT WANT METAL INSIDE MY DICK WHAT THE FUCK
Megaphone: i think we scarred him lads
Lostboy: thats a big ass yikes
EiffelPuppy: i think its safe to say kook hasnt tried it either
KookieMonster: YOU THINK
KookieMonster: IT SOUNDS PAINFUL
Thaibaby: i mean some people say it gives them alot of pleasure
KookieMonster: BAMBAM NO
HitTheYug: yeah honey im not trying that ever
HitTheYug: i dont think anyone in our group is either
Greekgod: ok back to the topic of kook not knowing this
Greekgod: of all the kinks and devices we've seen and discussed
Greekgod: this is what scars you?
KookieMonster: listen i came to the industry a literal baby
KookieMonster: my only sexual experience is anything ive done with you guys and my hyungs
Lostboy: and porn
KookieMonster: okay and porn
KookieMonster: but ive never seen that
KookieMonster: oh god oh god thank god i dont just go around asking people how the sounding was
Lostboy: now that would've been a disaster
KookieMonster: i dont think my hyungs know about it either so shush
Thaibaby: you really dont think namjoon hyung and jimin hyung dont know about sounding
KookieMonster: sounds fake even to my ears
KookieMonster: fair point
KookieMonster: okay so namjoon hyung and jimin hyung do indeed know about sounding and have now proceeded to make fun of me for thinking it was something else
KookieMonster: why do i put myself in these situations
HitTheYug: ah yeah kook hows the sounding on your newest track huh
Megaphone: cant wait to hear it im sure the sounding was amazing
KookieMonster: oh not you guys too
KookieMonster: please stop
KookieMonster: im already traumatized from finding out what it actually is
EiffelPuppy: you're a real expert on sounding right
KookieMonster: very funny
Lostboy: imagine if i actually went up to woozi hyung and asked him to demonstrate the 'sounding' for me
KookieMonster: s t o p
KookieMonster: do it coward
Lostboy: no thanks im good
EiffelPuppy: i think he'd be absolutely horrified
Megaphone: im doing it
Megaphone: yup watch this
DK: @Woozi hyung
DK: can you demonstrate the sounding for me?
Woozi: the what
DK: the sounding!
DK: it'll be fun!
Woozi: no no i absolutely cannot do that
Woozi: WHAT THE FUCK SEOK
Jun: WHAT THE FUCK SEOK
Seungkwan: oh god please no
Seungkwan: please please no
Woozi: please dont ask me that ever again
DK: but hyung!
Woozi: DO NOT
Dino: What is it?
Thaibaby: the absolute horror and trauma
Thaibaby: I LOVE IT
Greekgod: well i for one can't believe you just did that but i applaud you
Megaphone: why thank you
Megaphone: @EiffelPuppy @Lostboy take that cowards
EiffelPuppy: still shocked??
Lostboy: im impressed truly
KookieMonster: wow i said that bc i was embarrassed
KookieMonster: i didnt actually expect someone to ask him?
Megaphone: you're welcome.
HitTheYug: now this is the quality content i signed up for
HitTheYug: ive been thinking
HitTheYug: now i know for a fact that none of my hyungs know about blue waffles
EiffelPuppy: YUG NO
Greekgod: absolutely not
Thaibaby: okay sounding was one thing
Thaibaby: blue waffles is another
Thaibaby: DO NOT
KookieMonster: and i think everyone would agree
KookieMonster: its better if they dont
Megaphone: fucking agreed
Thaibaby: yug i swear
Thaibaby: do not. or no sex for a week.
-If you didn't know what sounding or blue waffles were before this chapter then I am so sorry for corrupting you. DO NOT LOOK IT UP
-Get ready you guys for the next chapter ;)
Chapter 25: Of Miscommunication and Drama
In which the past is exposed.
-BASED ON POPULAR REQUEST.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Bambam: yall look what i found
Yugyeom: you made fun of me for sending pics on the wrong group
Yugyeom: look at you now
Bambam: FUCKS SAKE
Bambam: sorry hyungs
Mark: aren't you two together?
Mark: then why are you texting each other instead of talking
Bambam: we're all just lazing around in the studio too lazy to talk
Bambam: so we're just texting each other on our group
Youngjae: you guys look so much younger in that pic
Yugyeom: lmao yeah what day was this
Bambam: i think it was the day kook lost his virginity
Bambam: or was it minghao
Jackson: wait what?
Jackson: but nct and bts got together only like a year or max two ago
Jackson: this looks way older
Bambam: we fooled around together
Jinyoung: you what
Yugyeom: well yeah
Yugyeom: you dont think bam and i didnt fuck around
Youngjae: well together yeah
Youngjae: but with the others too?
Bambam: whats wrong?
JB: you two fooled around with the other 97 liners
JB: well that explains so much doesn't it?
Yugyeom: what do you mean hyung?
Jinyoung: your closeness??
Jinyoung: the way we saw you all piled up over each other?
Mark: you're probably fucking around right now all together
Bambam: how could you say that?
Jackson: let's see
Jackson: when yugyeom was in danger he texted your group instead of us
Jackson: so you trust them more huh?
Yugyeom: no of course not
Yugyeom: we trust them alot but you guys are our members
Jinyoung: i can't believe this.
JB: this goes to everyone
JB: get your boys off of mine.
Taeyong: they said we had nothing to be jealous over
Seungcheol: i don't know what to say
Namjoon: get my boy off of yours?
Namjoon: did you not see this fucking conversation
Namjoon: you think I'm happy??
Seungcheol: please let's calm down
Seungcheol: namjoon you're usually calmer
Taeyong: how are you so calm about this?
Taeyong: they could be doing god knows what now
Seungcheol: well i'm finding out instead of yelling here like a maniac
HitTheYug: we.... fucked up
Thaibaby: we're fucked
HitTheYug: especially you @KookieMonster
Greekgod: what happened??
KookieMonster: what did you do?
Seungcheol: @Mingyu @DK @The8 where are you three right now
DK: um practice room
DK: anything wrong hyung?
Seungcheol: care to explain this?
Joshua: what's this?
Woozi: what the fuck
The8: hyungs please be calm and understand
Seungcheol: i want to know
Seungcheol: do you fuck around with everyone?
Seungcheol: is this what we are?
Seungcheol: just for fun?
Mingyu: hyung no please
Mingyu: it happened a long time ago
Mingyu: before any of our groups got together
DK: please don't think what we have is a fling
Wonwoo: why not?
Wonwoo: they're a group
Wonwoo: we're a group
Wonwoo: what's the difference?
Seungcheol: i don't want to jump to conclusions
The8: then give us a chance to talk
Seungkwan: im sorry hyung but you of all people shouldnt speak
The8: seungkwan please calm down
Seungcheol: i want you three back at the dorm later
Seungcheol: give everyone else will calm down
Seungcheol: we'll talk this out I promise
DK: thank you hyung
EiffelPuppy: the members found out we fucked around
EiffelPuppy: and are blowing it out of proportion
EiffelPuppy: but coups hyung is trying to solve it i guess?
KookieMonster: fuck me.
KookieMonster: im totally screwed
KookieMonster: what are you so worried about?
Greekgod: i don't know if you know my members well
Greekgod: especially taeyong
Greekgod: they're sensible
Greekgod: but they're so fucking possessive it's borderline insanity
Thaibaby: personally im sorry
Thaibaby: we didnt think it was a big deal
Thaibaby: but idk what thats useful for when our members wont even talk to us right now
Megaphone: my god
Megaphone: hey they were bound to find out anyways
HitTheYug: still we opened our mouths and got us all into trouble
KookieMonster: im fucked but i dont blame you
KookieMonster: seoks right one day they were gonna find out
HitTheYug: im so fucking sorry to everyone
Greekgod: it's alright
Greekgod: this happened a long time ago and frankly we did nothing wrong
Greekgod: it's time we straightened this out
EiffelPuppy: atleast theyre a bit calm?
EiffelPuppy: i wonder why tho
Megaphone: i think deep down
Megaphone: they know they shouldn't be mad
Megaphone: but they're still hurt
Taeyong: @Jaehyun you're not allowed near your 'friends' again
Jaehyun: be real
Taeil: no he's right we're not allowing you
Taeil: come back to the dorm right now
Jaehyun: you can't just "ban" me from seeing my friends
Doyoung: come back to the dorm
Jaehyun: you know what?
Taeyong: come back to the dorm yoonoh
Jaehyun: you can't just decide what i can do and what i can't
Taeyong: i'm your leader and yes i can
Jaehyun: for the last time no you can't
Jaehyun: this happened way before any of us got together
Jaehyun: so get it through your thick, possessive heads.
Greekgod: i'm so not going back to the dorms
HitTheYug: you went OFF
Greekgod: fuck yes i fucking did
Namjoon: would you all take a look at this?
Jin: @Jungkook this better be a fucking joke or you won't be happy
Jungkook: its not hyung
Jungkook: im sorry
Hoseok: how could you?
Namjoon: you never even told us
Taehyung: you never even told me???
Taehyung: I thought we were close??
Jungkook: we are hyungs
Jungkook: you just never asked so i never said anything
Jin: VERY FUCKING RICH
Yoongi: jin please calm down
Namjoon: no no let him continue
Namjoon: we spent time and effort to make sure his 'first time' would be special and memorable
Jungkook: can you please just hear me out?
Jimin: but of course
Jimin: it would be with his friends
Jin: the golden maknae with his golden friends
Hoseok: ah guys don't blame him
Hoseok: we just weren't spectacular enough
Hoseok: a bunch of poor teens
Jungkook: where is this coming from?
Taehyung: youre right hyung
Jungkook: since when are you so insecure?
Jin: and why would you care anyways huh?
Jin: golden maknae
Jungkook: @Yoongi please calm them down and listen to me
Yoongi: i think it's best of you leave us alone for a bit
KookieMonster: well that happened
Megaphone: you okay?
KookieMonster: im just gonna lock myself in my studio now
HitTheYug: well open up kooks
HitTheYug: bam and i are picking everyone up and coming to you
Thaibaby: i think none of us want to be alone right?
Lostboy: you're right
Thaibaby: everyone pack up we need 10 minutes
The drama is hereeeeeeeee!
If I copied all the requests for this in the summary, it would probably be longer than the actual chapter.
I hope you guys like this chapter. I actually had a hard time writing this
Surprise in the next chapter!
Chapter 26: Of Members and Additions
Of Miscommunications and Drama Pt. 2
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
EiffelPuppy: guys i know we're in the middle of,,,,
EiffelPuppy: but it was time we did this!!
EiffelPuppy: ATTENTION EVERYONE
EiffelPuppy: I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE
Thaibaby: tf is going on
KookieMonster: are you doing what i think youre doing
Megaphone: whats happening
EiffelPuppy: now that you're all here
[EiffelPuppy has added Eunwoo to the chat]
EiffelPuppy: WELCOME CHA EUNWOO TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
EiffelPuppy: i mean to this group
HitTheYug: HIIII DONGMIN
KookieMonster: BITCH WELCOME
Greekgod: hi eunwoo :D
Eunwoo: why do i feel like i've been warped into an alternate dimension
Thaibaby: hes sarcastic and already questioning his existence
Thaibaby: HE BELONGS HERE
Thaibaby: I LOVE HIM
Eunwoo: um thanks?
KookieMonster: aww baby dont be shy
EiffelPuppy: this group doesnt even know the meaning of shyness
EiffelPuppy: so you better get used to it quickly theres a whole lotta things that are happening
Eunwoo: ... do i wanna know?
Eunwoo: i'm kinda scared tbh
Greekgod: meh our members are currently mad at us because they found out we used to fuck around before dating them so now we're all hiding in kooks studio
Greekgod: nothing important
Eunwoo: I KNEW IT
Eunwoo: I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE DATING
Megaphone: babe focus
Megaphone: each one of us is dating their respective members
Eunwoo: makes alot of sense tbh
Lostboy: why does everyone say that
Lostboy: are we that obvious?
Eunwoo: kinda yeah
Eunwoo: wait so you guys fucked around with each other
Eunwoo: so basically everyone's seen everyone's dick here?
Thaibaby: and tasted!
Eunwoo: uh good to know
Eunwoo: also like if you guys are all together why are you texting?
Lostboy: kooks studio isnt exactly the most soundproof thing yet and we're not taking any chances
KookieMonster: great now when are you getting into a polyamorous relationship with your members?
Eunwoo: i have to be in a polyamorous relationship with my members?
KookieMonster: of course!
KookieMonster: group protocol
Eunwoo: what makes you say that?
EiffelPuppy: your painfully obvious crush on your leader
EiffelPuppy: and on literally all your other members
Greekgod: yikes takes me back to my crush days
Eunwoo: ok so i like all my members sue me
Eunwoo: but i dont think they like each other romantically
KookieMonster: so no mutual polyamorous relationship?
Eunwoo: kooks if i can get one of them to like me back that would be great
Eunwoo: idk how you guys did it
Lostboy: BOYS WE HAVE A NEW MISSION
Megaphone: shouldnt we focus on fixing things with our members before creating a new relationship?
Thaibaby: but the boy needs our help duh
Eunwoo: good luck with that!! :D
Thaibaby: oh also we're gonna need your address(es)
Thaibaby: anywhere you might be
HitTheYug: because how else would we kidnap you whenever we feel like it??
HitTheYug: and as designated driver of this group!
HitTheYug: i must know.
Eunwoo: wow you were right
Eunwoo: alot of things are happening in this group
EiffelPuppy: also no offence your name sucks
KookieMonster: TF MAN
Eunwoo: my name?
[EiffelPuppy changed Eunwoo's username to EarlyBird]
EiffelPuppy: muuuuuch better
EarlyBird: do i even have a choice?
Greekgod: not really
Lostboy: not a chance bird boy
Megaphone: sorry no
HitTheYug: get used to it honey
EarlyBird: okay so what history should i know
EarlyBird: because by the looks of it?
EarlyBird: theres a lot of history
Greekgod: sit your ass down pretty boy
Greekgod: you're getting the 97-Liners Groupchat crash course
EarlyBird: oh boy
EarlyBird: okay so now that i got the history i have a question
Greekgod: yes my pupil
EarlyBird: can i come?
EarlyBird: to kooks studio i mean
EiffelPuppy: you want to come watch us wallow in misery?
EarlyBird: i mean what better way to bond right?
EarlyBird: plus you could use a cheer up
EarlyBird: i can bring icecream?
EarlyBird: okay so now that we've all stuffed our faces with icecream
EarlyBird: we can't just stay here guys
Thaibaby: we know
Thaibaby: but none of our members will listen
Megaphone: but seungcheol hyung seemed willing?
Lostboy: i mean yeah but doesn't make it less scary
EarlyBird: take it from an outsiders point of view
EarlyBird: you guys haven't done anything wrong
EarlyBird: maybe kook a bit
EarlyBird: shush they'll hear you
KookieMonster: once we're out of this mess youre done newbie
EarlyBird: i say you need to lay down all the facts straight on the table
EarlyBird: hide nothing and explain your point of view
Greekgod: and what makes you think they'll hear us?
Greekgod: haven't you seen the chats?
EarlyBird: okay true
EarlyBird: but still
EarlyBird: maybe seventeen need to see first what happens and then report?
EarlyBird: ai this is a mess
HitTheYug: no shit sherlock
EiffelPuppy: but wait good idea
EiffelPuppy: maybe if our members understand (which is most likely out of everyone)
EiffelPuppy: then hyung can message the other leaders on their group and help us!!
EarlyBird: wait what group
HitTheYug: oh yeah all the leaders of our groups have a group together because of us
HitTheYug: and if all goes well theyll probs add jinjin hyung too
EarlyBird: so they like talk about us?
Thaibaby: snitch* about us
KookieMonster: they probably think we dont know
Lostboy: but we know
Lostboy: saw it on coups hyungs phone
EarlyBird: so if i do anything stupid with you guys here its gonna go to my members?
Megaphone: pretty much
Greekgod: no running from it
Lostboy: what they said
EarlyBird: oh god
Greekgod: back to our plan?
EarlyBird: yeah uh so coups hyung could be helpful
EarlyBird: maybe if he knocks some sense into them then you guys can text your groups without them twisting your words or something
EarlyBird: and then once you lay out everything then you go and talk to them in person
Thaibaby: newbies right
Thaibaby: not bad
KookieMonster: im just scared it wont work out
KookieMonster: my hyungs are pretty upset
Greekgod: kookie it will work out im sure
EarlyBird: i'm not an expert but
EarlyBird: from what i've seen the reason why everyone is upset is because they love you all so much
EarlyBird: and i guess they need the validation?
Greekgod: he's right
Megaphone: why is polyamory so hard
Lostboy: fucking agreed
KookieMonster: I dont fucking know man
Greekgod: hey newbie how are you so wise about this shit
EarlyBird: okay first are you guys gonna keep calling me newbie?
HitTheYug: for now yes
EarlyBird: and second
EarlyBird: trust me i'm not
EarlyBird: i can't even build up the courage to confess to my members but i guess since i'm not in this mess it's easier to make sense?
EiffelPuppy: sounds legit
EiffelPuppy: so we have a plan?
Seungcheol: @DK @Mingyu @The8 you can come back now
Seungcheol: the members and I promise to hear everything you have to say
Megaphone: guess that plan is in motion now
KookieMonster: im gonna be sick
Thaibaby: lets do this
Lostboy: okay okay sounds promising no?
EarlyBird: sounds good!!
EiffelPuppy: okay we can do this
HitTheYug: come on ill drop you off and come back
Greekgod: good luck!!
KookieMonster: good luck
Thaibaby: no pressure but our fate lies in you hands right now
Megaphone: gee thanks bam
Megaphone: no pressure at all
And the surprise is finally hereeeee!! Hope you guys liked it :D
Chapter 27: Of Resolutions and Confessions
Of Miscommunications and Drama Pt. 3
Or, S.Coups to the rescue.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
KookieMonster: im losing my mind just waiting for the boys to finish
KookieMonster: its been two hours
KookieMonster: i think im actually gonna be sick
HitTheYug: come let me cuddle you
EarlyBird: its gonna be over soon kooks
Greekgod: why am i nervous
Greekgod: i know im right
EarlyBird: because its normal?
HitTheYug: join the cuddle pile
Thaibaby: lets have a dogpile
Thaibaby: you too eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: we have news
Greekgod: oh thank god you're back
Thaibaby: how was it???
KookieMonster: please say something im seriously losing my mind
EarlyBird: everyone calm down let them talk
Megaphone: some members weren't happy
Megaphone: others were confused
Lostboy: coups hyung made us all sit down in the living room
Lostboy: then he let us tell our story from start to finish
EiffelPuppy: it was mostly the hyungs who were kinda pissed for some reason
EiffelPuppy: but then coups hyung shushed everyone and we had a long talk
Megaphone: eventually the situation died down
Lostboy: not gonna lie the situation is still a bit tense with some members
Lostboy: but they let us talk
Lostboy: and coups hyung was so understanding
Megaphone: minghao cried
EiffelPuppy: and he said something that was really important in our opinion
EiffelPuppy: he reminded us that what happened in the past doesn't define what happens right now
EiffelPuppy: and one of the main reason why this blew up very badly is because we made a big deal out of it
EiffelPuppy: maybe if we told them before this wouldn't have happened you know?
HitTheYug: fucking hell hes right
Greekgod: he is
KookieMonster: did he say anything about talking to the other leaders?
Megaphone: coups hyung wants to say something so i'll give him my phone okay
Megaphone: hey guys i just wanted to say that you're not entirely at fault here
Megaphone: we the members are also wrong because we haven't made you trust us enough to tell us about this matter
Megaphone: and i think that's the major issue behind all of this: miscommunication from both sides
Megaphone: tonight i made sure to establish that with my group and that should be your main goal too
Megaphone: the boys asked and i will talk to the other leaders
KookieMonster: thank you so much hyung
HitTheYug: you have no idea how much this means to us
Greekgod: we'll be sure to take your advice into consideration
Thaibaby: thank you hyung
Lostboy: and now we wait for coups hyung to do his magic
EarlyBird: well the first part of the plan went well!!
EiffelPuppy: yeah thankfully
EiffelPuppy: we'll update you guys when hyungs done
Seungcheol: so i talked to my boys
Seungcheol: and everything's okay now
JB: you can't tell you really just forgave them like that
Seungcheol: yes i did
Namjoon: what do you mean so?!
Namjoon: you know exactly what happened
Seungcheol: you know what yes i do
Seungcheol: they fucked around together years ago
Seungcheol: so they're not lying not cheating not deceiving anyone
Seungcheol: i don't understand why you three and even some of my members made such a big deal out of it
Seungcheol: and don't you think we are wrong too?
Seungcheol: they knew we'd react like this so they thought it would be better to fucking hide it from us because they were scared of this reaction
Seungcheol: i've seen nothing but love from these boys to you and to me and i wasn't going to start doubting that from something that happened ages ago
Seungcheol: so get it through your fucking heads and go solve your communication problems.
Thaibaby: im fucking crying
HitTheYug: we're so sending hyung a present after this
Greekgod: they didn't say anything after that?
EiffelPuppy: no i'm sorry
EarlyBird: give them time to process things guys okay?
EarlyBird: have any of your groups said anything?
Thaibaby: dead silent
Greekgod: not a single message
Megaphone: well now might be a good time to explain to them your points of view on the groups
EarlyBird: come on you can do it!!
Greekgod: thanks for the cheer up newbie
EarlyBird: are we still on the newbie thing goddamit
Jaehyun: I'd like to explain myself without any interruption please
Jaehyun: I think I deserve this at least
Jaehyun: I love you all. And if you think I'm not as possessive of everyone of you as you guys are for me then you're so fucking wrong.
Jaehyun: I get that you guys might be jealous but preventing me from going out of the dorm or trying to control me really isn't going to solve anything. I could control my dongsaengs but I don't because I trust them.
Jaehyun: Polyamory is hard, it's so fucking hard I know. But we're supposed to establish it on trust. And I really want you to trust me because if I wanted to cheat I could've. So many times. At so many events. But I don't want to because I love you.
Jaehyun: when I came here to be an idol I didn't know who I was going to be grouped with or what was going to happen. I was so scared. But with your support and love I made it with you guys right by my side.
Jaehyun: You're my best friends and my soulmates. I couldn't ask for a better group but I just wish you guys trusted me a little more.
Taeyong: I was paranoid.
Taeyong: we all were
Taeyong: I guess with such a big group I was always so worried that anything could go wrong
Taeyong: that our bond wasn't strong enough
Taeyong: so we tried to control you thinking that if we did then you'd be ultimately ours and closer
Taeyong: but maybe that just made you farther
Taeyong: I'm speaking on the behalf of the group when I say I'm sorry
Taeyong: we have major issues that need to be resolved I know that now
Taeyong: or I guess I already knew that but I didn't want to acknowledge it
Taeyong: please come home jaehyun so we can talk properly
Jaehyun: promise not to lock me up?
Taeyong: we promise
Jaehyun: I will hyung
Greekgod: for the ones who weren't reading this above my shoulder like hawks
Lostboy: GO JAE
Lostboy: YOU DID IT
Megaphone: that went well!!
EarlyBird: he literally sagged to the floor in relief when it was over
EiffelPuppy: no kidding
Megaphone: okay but your messages made me tear up wtf
EiffelPuppy: a true poet
Greekgod: what can I say
Thaibaby: look at him all cocky now
Thaibaby: you still have stuff to fix man
Greekgod: you couldn't let me celebrate for one minute could you
Greekgod: well how about you two get to work then?
Greekgod: don't you have stuff to do?
HitTheYug: fuck you
Thaibaby: what he said.
Bambam: um hi hyungs
Yugyeom: we know you're feeling hurt and angry but please hear us out
Bambam: when we accidently let slip that we used to fuck around yug and i didn't think it was a big deal
Bambam: because to us it really wasnt
Bambam: it was just something we used to do with our friends to let off some steam or to have fun and it happened years ago
Yugyeom: but it hurt us a lot that you guys didnt trust us and implied that we were still together
Yugyeom: if you guys saw the amount of times bam and i moped around on the group because we thought we had no chances with you
Bambam: we were seriously desperate
Bambam: it made us think are we not good enough for you?
Yugyeom: we would never do anything to hurt you guys we really want you to know that
JB: that's the problem
JB: you're too good for us
JB: when you guys revealed this secret the hyungs and I wasted no time in throwing accusations at you because all this time you thought you maybe weren't good for us we were thinking that we weren't good for you
JB: that you have your friends who might be infinitely more handsome or talented or smarter than us and that we could lose you
Yugyeom: how could you all think that?
JB: When you're in a state of paranoia you don't think that's the problem
JB: We got jealous of your close friendship with the others and when the truth was out we thought we could justify our jealousy
JB: will you two come back?
JB: we understand if you might not want to
Bambam: hyung yug and I would love to and fix things with you guys
Yugyeom: we love you
JB: we love you too
JB: take the time you need
EiffelPuppy: fuck yes
Megaphone: finally things are moving along
EarlyBird: only one more to go!
KookieMonster: yeah i cant do this
Greekgod: what do you mean you can't do this
KookieMonster: i cant
KookieMonster: im too scared
Lostboy: kook you literally punched the living shit out of the creeper that attacked yug and you cant do this?
KookieMonster: thats different okay
EiffelPuppy: you could've went to fucking jail
EarlyBird: they're right kookie
EarlyBird: come on you can do this!!
EarlyBird: the rest and i aren't gonna leave before we make sure everything's good with you
KookieMonster: fuck okay
Jungkook: id like to say something if you guys dont mind
Namjoon: no let me talk first
Jungkook: oh uh sure hyung
Namjoon: I got some sense knocked into me and i explained it to the rest of the group so whatever I'm saying right now is on the behalf of everyone
Namjoon: we're insecure and we projected that on you. When we found out, all our insecurities just boiled up to the surface and exploded. We were so sure we were your firsts that it felt like a punch in the gut when we found out we weren't
Namjoon: we thought we weren't special enough for you when you are so special to us so you got to see our worst sides
Jungkook: but that's the thing hyungs
Jungkook: you guys are special to me and my first time with you was special not because i lost my virginity
Jungkook: its because it was with you the people that ive been in love with since forever maybe
Jungkook: i thought id never have a chance because having 6 crushes at the same time was just unnatural and weird
Jungkook: but then you guys confessed that you loved me back and I saw stars because Im so fucking in love with you i was ready to stay with you forever even if you didnt love me back that way
Namjoon: we can't lose you
Namjoon: you're our golden maknae
Namjoon: please we'll do anything
Jungkook: you havent lost me hyungs
Jungkook: youd never lose me
Jungkook: im was just scared that i lost you guys
Jungkook: that makes me feel better
Namjoon: we're all waiting at the dorm for you whenever you're ready
Jungkook: thank you hyungs
Megaphone: ATTA BOY
Thaibaby: WAY TO GO KOOKS
Lostboy: CONGRATS KOOKIE
EiffelPuppy: i cried
HitTheYug: me too
Greekgod: newbie's bawling
EarlyBird: i'm just happy you guys all fixed your problems sue me
KookieMonster: thanks eunwoo for being here
KookieMonster: you didn't have to really
EarlyBird: hey you're my friends
EarlyBird: i don't really have that many close friends other than my members
Megaphone: we're here for you okay?
Greekgod: you can tell us anything
EiffelPuppy: by now you know we don't judge
EarlyBird: i think it's time for each of us to go home now
HitTheYug: come on we'll drop you off too
EarlyBird: how's everything guys?
HitTheYug: finally died down
EarlyBird: aw is that a dogpile?
HitTheYug: bams asleep probably too tired from all the crying
HitTheYug: hes such a softie
EarlyBird: and you aren't?
Lostboy: gyu and seok are sleeping too
Lostboy: but everyone finally came around and we made sure to thank coups hyung in a very special way ;)
EarlyBird: i didn't need to know that
HitTheYug: get used to it
Greekgod: we're okay
Greekgod: we established boundaries and then had a huge dogpile
Greekgod: we actually pushed the couches in the living room and put the mattresses there so we could all sleep in the same room
EarlyBird: that's so cute awwww
KookieMonster: there was alot of crying let me tell you that
KookieMonster: we talked about us then they started telling me all about how they used to crush on me and i told them about my crush stage too
KookieMonster: it was embarrassing but funny too
KookieMonster: we're all camped in my room now
EarlyBird: that's great kooks
EarlyBird: i'm glad you're all okay
EarlyBird: get some sleep now
Greekgod: you too
EarlyBird: will do :)
I cried while writing this chapter so I hope you guys did too.
But finally, the happy ending is here!!