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I need to kill you, but I want to kiss you

Chapter Text


The alarm clock went off, I growled out of annoyance and slammed my fist over the pounding alarm clock. It didn’t work, it still kept buzzing, irritated I threw it across the room so it hit the opposite wall.

I had always hated mornings and especially since my dads butler bought that annoying alarm clock. Usually I overslept and came late for school, my dad had gotten so annoyed at me that he made sure his butler installed an alarm clock. Like hell it would help.

I pulled the cover over my head again and buried myself deep under the covers. My mom had said that it was dangerous to sleep with my head under the covers but I didn’t care, I liked that no light could get through and it felt more cosy.

It also reminded me of when me and my mom made forts out of pillows and blankets. At least I had some memories of her, I had just been six years old when she had past away. My dad had gone total bat shit crazy and locked himself inside his office for many months. The only people I saw was his butlers and the chef.

Sad fucking childhood, at least he talked to me now even if it was just about his idiotic drug industry. He had tried many times to get me interested in drugs and the money that was made from it. When I was still a kid, before my mom died, I used to think he was a lord because he called himself a drug lord.

Now I don’t even care that about him or his company. I wished that he was a normal dad instead, then I didn’t have to lie to my best friends Armin and Mikasa. They always asked why they couldn’t come over and visit, I usually said that my dad hated company and that he was to sad after my mothers death to have visiters.

I really couldn’t tell them that there where security guards around the house and inside because my dad had an illegal drug company.

It knocked on the door and I groaned loudly and threw off the covers.

”Sir, its time for breakfast and school.” The butler knocked again before opening the door.

”I´m coming.” He closed the door when he saw I was sitting up on my bed without the covers. When the door closed I pulled it back on and slept for three more minutes, until I heard another knock.

”Sir, you will be late for school.” He opened the door and took the covers of off my bed.

”Hey.” I yelled but he ignored me and started to make my bed. Annoyed I walked over to the closet and pulled out a pair of blue jeans with gigantic holes in, my dad would hate them if he saw them. I also took a dark green hoodie and went to the bathroom to change. I hated changing when another person was in the room.


Before my dads company had gotten so big I had had to walk to school now the butler drove me. The only pros with having a drug lord for a dad.

We arrived a few blocks away from the school where the butler dropped me off, I did not want to be seen coming in a limousine. I knew if Jean, one of Mikasa and Armins friends not mine, saw me he would tease me forever.

The school was close and it didn’t take long before I saw the school building before me. I walked through the gate and up towards the building.

Outside the classroom I saw my friends waiting for the teacher to let us in. They where talking about something with my least favourite person, Jean of all people.

”Then she said that I looked really handsome…Oh Jaeger finally bothered to show up.” Jean smirked at me and I felt my fists clenching. It was something with his smug face that made me want to punch him.

”Oh really, she said you’re handsome. Was this girl another horse because otherwise I cannot see why she would like you.” Jeans smirking face dropped and turned into an angry glare.

”I will get you for this Jaeger.” He growled and raised his fist, ready to punch me. Before he could swing his fist Mikasa was there to grab it. She was way stronger than any of us and didn’t move even if Jean tried to get loose from her iron grip.

”Mikasa let go.” He gritted out through his teeth, clearly pissed. To my disgust Jeans cheeks where coloured pink, he had had a crush on Mikasa for a long time which made me hate him even more. Even if I didn’t like her like that, she was like a sister to me, I still didn’t want Jean to date her.

”I will let go if you two stop arguing.” She said in her bored tone still holding onto Jeans wrist. Jean looked defeated and nodded. He almost looked sad when she let go of his wrist and I wanted to puke even more.

The teacher arrived and we all went inside. I always sat at the far back with either Mikasa or Armin, this day I sat down next to Armin because Jean had already stolen Mikasa, fucking disgusting Jean.

”I hate that guy” I whispered to Armin who was reading his book unbothered. He didn’t seem to hear me or he was ignoring me because he didn’t say anything, just continued to read his book.

”Good morning class. Today we have a special announcement. There will be a new student joining the class today. I know there’s already gone two moths of the semester but he moved here from far away so he’s joining the class today. You can come in now.” I looked towards the door to see who my new classmate would be.

The door opened and a short guy walked inside. He couldn’t be taller than 5´2, he had black hair styled in an undercut and pale skin that made the dark hair stand out. His eyes where narrow and silver grey. He was wearing a pair of way to skinny black jeans and a black over sized sweatshirt.
He looked bored and annoyed to be standing infront of the whole class. Our eyes met and my heart stopped. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart to peaces. I hated the feeling and directly looked away.

”Please introduce yourself.” The teacher said and nodded encouragingly towards the boy.

”I´m Levi, lived in Europe before.” He didn’t say anything else and the teacher look slightly annoyed that he didn’t speak his life story.

”Okay Levi, we´re very happy to have you here. Would anyone be so kind and take care of our new student during the first week?” Levi looked like he wanted to run away or choke her or maybe both. He did not look like someone who needed help during their first week in a new school.

”I´m deeply disappointed in you class. If no one will offer to help kind Levi here.” She put her hand on his shoulder and he looked disgusted on it. ”Then I will just have to assign someone for the job. Eren, can you and your friends show Levi around the school and be extra kind towards him.” She squeezed his shoulder and I gulped. I did not want to take care of the angry teen and show him around, it was enough that I had to take care of fucking Jean I did not need another idiot.

”Okay.” I mumbled.

”Great. You can sit down now Levi. Anywhere you want.” Levi walked to the opposite side from me and I felt kind of betrayed. Of course I didn’t care what he did but if I would be the one to show him around at least he could sit down closer to me so we could talk. It almost seemed like he wanted to distance himself from me and it made me pissed.




After class when me, my friends and Jean walked out, Levi was waiting for us. He leaned on the wall and looked up bored at us.

”Let´s go brat.” He said and started walking without waiting for us.

”Excuse me, do you even know where we’re going?” I said and it took every fiber in me not to punch him.

”Lead the way then brat.” I sighed and Mikasa and Armin gave me a comforting smile while Jean looked like he was having the time of his life. I grunted and walked the opposite way to show him to the next classroom. My traitors to friends left me and I was left all alone with the new student.

We walked in silence down the hallway. It was annoying, I could feel his gaze on me and I felt weirdly uncomfortable and slightly fuzzy at the same time. Like his gaze made me squirm in a good way.

”Where in Europe did you live?” I asked, not bearing another minute of total silence. Of course he didn’t answer and I felt like a total idiot. I sighed and rubbed me eyes out of annoyance.
”France.” He said after a minute. Shocked I looked at him. He was looking straight forward and his face looked like a statue.

”Cool. Do you miss it?” He laughed, not a happy laugh just a bitter and short one.

”No, the people are fucking rude.” He smirked at me and that fuzzy feeling appeared again. Directly his face turned back into stone and we continued to walk in silence towards the classroom.

I hated biology more than any other subject and especially today when we where going to cut open a dead frog. It made my insides turn and I wanted to throw up.

”Not a fan of cutting open dead things.” Levi said and smirked at me, we had gotten paired together and to my surprise I wasn’t annoyed with him yet. He was way better than horse face Jean.

”No its not a hobby for me to cut open dead things. I don’t get those who want to be doctors, I could never.” I shuddered at the thought and shock my head to try and get rid of the thought. Levi smirked teasingly at me and rolled his eyes.

”You´re such a wuss.” If there was something I hated more than cutting open dead things it was when someone called me a coward.

”I´m not a wuss.”

”Then prove it.” He said and gave me the scalpel. Disgusted I took it and started, I didn’t even get one inch before I felt the puke forming in my throat.

I dropped the scalpel and dashed out of the classroom. Behind me I could hear Levi and the teacher shouting my name. When I got to the bathroom I could finally breath normally but my hands felt sweaty and my heart was racing painfully.

Never had I backed down from a challenge and I felt humiliated.

”Eren?” Levi walked into the bathroom, his face had the same bored expression but his voice showed a bit of empathy.

I was sitting down on the floor, even if the floor was probably really disgusting. My head was resting on my arms which where proper up on the knees. I looked down on the floor not wanting to meet his eyes. I felt pathetic, utterly pathetic.

”How´re you feeling?” He asked and the concerns was still there. I just nodded, I wanted him to leave so bad but I didn’t want to seem rude.

”I will tell the teacher that you’re not feeling good. Let’s meet for lunch when class is over. I want to pay for your lunch as a sorry.” He said and walked off without hearing my reply. I looked up when the bathroom door closed. The fuzzy feeling was back and I wanted to puke even more.


I had waited for him outside the classroom and when he walked out he actually smiled, not smirked. We found Mikasa, Armin and Jean who had joined our other friends Sasha and Connie.

When we arrived at the table they all turned quite and looked over at Levi. With her face full of potato sallad, Sasha asked who the short guy was. Never in my life had I seen such a scary look like the one Levi gave her and Sasha looked like she died right there. She muttered a sorry and we sat down at the table.

”How was class?” Mikasa asked, she always asked about my classes but this one I did not want to tell about. I could´nt tell her that I had almost fainted and that Levi had covered for me. Jean would never stop teasing me about it and Sasha would be caching so food would fly out from her mouth.

”We didn´t do much.” I muttered while picking at my food. Jean snorted and continued to eat. I looked over at Levi who was also picking at his food. He was probably used to some fancy french food, here you just got disgusting cafeteria food that tasted like plastique.

”So we’re going to the cinema after school would you like to come too Levi?” Sasha asked while stuffing her face with more food. Levi looked up from his plate, he didn’t look happy or annoyed that she asked him, he just looked indifferent. After a few seconds of complete silence and everyone staring at him he nodded and continued to pick at his food.

”Great.” Sasha smiled and started to talk with Connie again about some new garlic bread that had come out in the grocery shop. Connie didn’t look interested at all but he always listened to Sasha even if he didn’t care. They had been together for a year now and Connie was definitely whipped, he bought Sasha every food she wanted and always paid for eat everything you want for 2 hours buffets.

”Are you coming too?” Levi whispered to me and I could feel that fuzzy feeling again. He was way too close for my liking, leaning into me and his breath was tickling my ear. I swallowed and nodded as a answer.

”Good, I want to pay for your ticket as an apology.” He whispered even closer this time, I shivered and hated myself for feeling so weird and awkward. I never got weird when someone whispered in my ear.

”Okay.” I whispered back and stood up with my food to throw it away. Jean said some annoying comment about my jeans looking like crap but I didn’t care to comment on it.

I had knew since a few years back that I was gay but I had never had a crush on a real person. Of course I had crushed hard on guys in tv shows and movies but that was a totally different thing.

Levi was real, I had just met him a few hours ago so why was my heart pounding and my ear still tingling. I shock my head, I did not want to think about it. It was probably just because he was a new student and way more handsome than anyone in this school.

I threw the food into the trash and went back to the table. Levi was leaning back in his chair and when he saw me he smiled and pulled out the chair next to him.

”Thanks.” I muttered and tried to sound indifferent. I did not think he was handsome. Mikasa looked over at me from across the table, she looked concerned and tried to make sure I was okay. I smiled at her but she didn’t seem to believe me, but thank god she dropped it and started to talk to Armin.

I already hated this school day and it had just gone three hours, fuck my life.

Chapter Text



The jet lag was awful and my brain felt like it would explode. It was a long time since I flew such a long flight. My last assassin jobs had been in Europe, especially France but now here I was, in America. It had been four years since I last visited America, I hated the country but I hated every country so never mind.

Erwin had called me five days ago after I had finished my latest job. I had killed a fifty year old man who was in the trafficking business. It had taken a week to get close enough to kill him without it being sloppy.

I had just arrived back to my hotel room when the phone rang.

”Hello Levi, is it done?” Erwin asked and I sighed, I did not have the patience to talk with him now. I needed some time to relax before he assigned me to a new job.

”Yes I´m done, it went successfully.” I said and started to undress so I could take a bath.

”I´ve booked you a flight tomorrow, you’re going to America.” I froze up, I couldn’t believe my ears. I hadn’t even gotten out of the clothes I´d worn when I killed the man twenty minutes ago, and now this idiot wanted me to fly out to America.

Erwin cleared his throat on the other end of the line, impatient that I dint answer. Annoyed I pulled my shirt over my head and walked into the bathroom.

”Sure, who’s the lucky basterd who will die?” I said sarcastically and started to tap up the bathtub.

”His name is Eren Yaeger. He’s in his last year of high school and the son to the biggest illegal drug company in America. You have to kill him so that it looks like his dad did it and make sure he’s framed and the police will find out about the drugs as well.”

Of course it wouldn’t be some easy kill, this sounded hard and risky. Even a little misstep and the evidence could point back at me instead on the kids dad. But I needed the money and this was the only thing I was good at, pathetic.

”Sure, tell me all the details and I will see you tomorrow.” I hung up the phone before he could say anything else and turned of the tap.

The water was warm and my body started to heat up comfortably. It had been a long time since I last had taken a long bath. The dirt that collected on me during my work was utterly disgusting and I started to scrub my arms and legs desperately.

I had been in this business for a long time but I was still not used to it. The killing didn’t really bother me, it was usually awful and disgusting people that I had to kill. The thing that bothered me was the awful motel rooms I stayed at and the crappy showers. It probably sounded silly in comparison to killing people but I had told myself enough times that they deserved it and eventually I believed it.

I stepped out of the bath and put on a pair of tracks bottoms and a white t-shirt. The tv channels where all in french, I knew some french but I didn’t have the patients to concentrate to understand the words. Eventually I fell asleep.


I had arrived in America two hours ago and now I was sitting across from Erwin. His thick eyebrows almost toughed each other when he frowned. He held out a file and handed it to me.

”Here´s all the info on the kid, there’s no picture but the his class number and name is there so you will find him. You have two weeks to kill him, if you don’t succeed you know what happens.” He said, his tone was sad but I knew he didn’t care who succeeded with the mission. If I failed they would kill me instead and then some other assassin would arrive so the job would still be done.


The school building where much fancier than any crappy school I had ever been to. I hated that I could still be seen as a high school student even if it had been five years since I finished high school.

Now I stood outside the doors of a high school again, it felt dreadful and depressing but I swung the doors open and walked inside.

The corridors where wide and the classroom numbers where put on the doors which made it easy for me to find the right classroom. I had met the teacher the other day and she had told me to wait outside so she could surprise the class with the news. I hated to make a scen about myself, I wanted to keep a low profile.

I opened the door when she called for me and walked inside. The classroom was big and there was probably over twenty students in the class. It would take some time to know which one was Eren. I scanned everyones faces while the teacher talked, my eyes met a pair of hetrochromia eyes, one brown and the other green.

”Please introduce yourself.” The teacher said and pulled me out from my thoughts. I told her shortly that I was from Europe and she almost squealed in excitement.

When she asked if anyone could take care of me, no one did, I was not surprised I would not have wanted to take care of the new kid either.

She looked pissed and sad at the students and called out a name, the name, the name I needed to know. It was even easier than I had thought. I looked over the classroom to find my target, when I looked eyes with him again. The hetrochromian kid, he looked annoyed that the teacher had called his name. I had my target, he would not be able to escape, I smirked and walked to the opposite side of the classroom to sit down for the class.

I needed a plan to convince him we where friends, even if I sucked at making friends I could always pretend to be nice and friendly. Poor guy wouldn’t know what hit him.




School had ended and we were all on our way towards the cinema. Levi had started to talk more and seemed to have a thing for chocolate chip cookies which made him Sashas best friend. I had stopped thinking about that Levi looked kind of cute, I blamed it on his short appearance and the big sweatshirt that made it look like he was drowning in it.

He walked next to me and Sasha but turned around towards me, probably to not be able to hear her annoying rant about cookies anymore.

”What are your hobbies?” He asked out of the blue, the question was so surprising that it made me laugh and he frowned at me in annoyance.

”Sorry, I just didn’t expect you to say something like that.” I chuckled again and if I didn’t mistake it I think he smiled at me. My idiotic heart started to pound lightly again.

”I like movies, not new ones but old classic movies. Don’t tell anyone but my favourite actress is Audrey Hepburn.” Levis eyes widened dramatically and it almost made me laugh again.

”I would never have thought that.” He said almost more to himself than to me. We continued to walk towards the cinema in silence, but a comfortable silence that made me feel at ease.

When we got there the ticket line wasn’t that bad and we also had time to buy some popcorn before the movie started. Sasha would probably have started a big scen if she hadn’t gotten any popcorn.

Inside the lights were already turned off and it was a bit hard to see the numbers on the seats. Finally we sat down, when I looked at my side Levi was sitting there. He smirked at me and handed the popcorn.

”I bought these for us to share.” He said and nodded at the bowl of popcorn. There was something with the illuminating lightning that made Levis face look even cooler and more handsome. I didn’t want to admit it but something with his face made my cheeks burn.

”You didn’t have to.” I said and took a handful of popcorns. He sighed and shook his head.

”Yes I did, I still feel bad about the frog thing.” I almost choked on the popcorn when he mentioned the frog.

”Sorry, I won’t do that again. I’m not a shitty guy, I promise.” His smile was reassuring and he looked like he regretted what he did. Of course I forgave him, especially when he looked so genuine.

I nodded and smiled back at him to reassure that I didn’t mind.

The movie started and it was actually good. Not as good as Audrey Hepburn movies, I still couldn’t believe that I had told Levi that I liked her movies. It was not something I told anyone and especially not almost strangers. But what was done was done.

Twenty minutes in I grabbed for some popcorns only to bump my hand against Levis inside the popcorn bowl. Our hands froze and I didn’t know what to do. Do I pull out quickly without popcorn or do I slowly grab some and pull out? I started to panic and my annoying heart wouldn’t stop beating.

Levis hand didn´t move either and it felt like electricity where the hands touched. Suddenly his hand started to move and I thought he would pull it out, but he didn’t. No, instead he grabbed onto my hand gently, first just one of my fingers as if he wasn’t sure if I would let him, then when I didn’t move his whole hand was in mine.

His hand was small, much smaller than mine and it made him seem even cuter. What was I doing? Holding hands with an almost stranger inside a popcorn bowl. But I didn’t want to let go, his hand was warm and comforting.

”Send me the popcorn.” Jean muttered, he sat at the other end of our friendship group and had probably not gotten any popcorn. Quickly I removed my hand and gave the popcorn bowl to Connie so he could send it to Jean.

My hand felt cold and I didn’t dare to look at Levis face, what had just happened?



My hand touched his and I directly thought that I should pull away, his hand was probably greasy from the popcorns and I did not want to sit the rest of the movie with his popcorn grease on them. But he didn´t remove his hand. His hand was still touching mine and when I glanced over to see what the fuck he was thinking, his faced was flushed red.

Even if it was dark I could still see the blush, which was two shades darker than the color on his neck. It felt like a weird accomplishment to see him blush. When i turned my face back to look at the movie screen I knew what I would do. I would make him like me, I would make him like me so much that he would do whatever I told him. And when he was mine it would be very easy to end him.

I had never had feelings for a person before so I was not afraid I would start to like this brat. Slowly i grabbed onto his pinky with mine, he didn´t pull back and that gave me the confidence to touch more of his hand. His hand was a bit bigger than mine which irritated me a bit. He didn´t pull back now either and instead he grabbed onto it a bit more firmly. I dared to glance over at him and he looked like he was freaking out. It almast made me laugh and feel bad for him at the same time. He looked so pathetic with his eyes wide open and the blush coloring his cheeks. Suck a brat.

Of course Jean the idiot would interrupt and ask for my popcorn, the popcorn I had bought. Without any hesitation Eren almost threw the bowl of popcorn towards Jean.

The rest of the movie I didn´t do anything, I needed a new plan, a plan that would get me close to him but not make it obvious so his friends would suspect me when he died.

I would get the brat to fall for me, and then I would kill him.

Chapter Text

My plan was simple, get the brat to fall for me and then kill him off. Theoretically it sounded simpler than taking a shit but it was not that simple.
After the movie Eren had left directly like a scarred little rabbit, like I would eat him up if he stayed any longer. Not that I blamed him for running away from me, he should be fucking afraid of me, but that did not work in my favour.

I was now sitting in my shitty motel room, I had come back an hour ago and taken a shower directly. My hand still felt grease after the popcorns and it made me feel sick. I had put on a pair of black pyjamas bottoms and a black hoodie before sitting down and going over my plan.

Tomorrow I needed to talk to him, preferably alone so the stupid food girl didn’t try to talk about cookies for twenty minutes again. I would buy him a coffee, he would probably decline and say he could buy it himself but I would insist. Then he would probably pout and blush stupidly, the thought almost made me laugh.
Buy him coffee, compliment him, what else do you need to get someone to fall for you? I did not know. If I moved to quick he would probably get scared, but i didn’t have a lot of time before my dead line, two weeks until he needed to be dead.

It was shit little of time to get someone to like you. Annoyed I shook my head and opened my phone to text Hanji. I knew I could always text them if I needed help with something, even if they where annoying as fuck.

”Come to my motel room.” I send the text and my location. Fifteen minutes later, no text back, I heard a loud knock on the door. When I opened it Hanji almost knocked me over with a hug.

”Get off me you idiot.” I muttered and shoved them off me. They always managed to annoy me more than anyone else, but I knew I could always rely on them.
”Ahh, I´ve missed you.” They shouted and came to hug me once again. I still found it strange that Hanji worked as an assassin as well. They didn’t seem the type who could kill someone in cold blood and not be bothered afterwards. I was still surprised that they were one of the best at this kind of work.

We sat down and I poured them a cup of tea.
”So what’s the emergence?” Hanji said while sipping on their tea. They frowned at the taste and put it down on the table.
”I need to kill a high school kid, he’s a drug empires son and he needs to be dead in two weeks. I need your help with making him like me so I can kill him easier.” A loud laugh erupted from Hanjis mouth and they looked like they would die laughing. It sounded like a whistle when they laughed and it made my ears hurt.

”You, you’re going to make someone fall for you.” The laugh became louder and the doubt in their voice made me click my tongue out of annoyance.
”Yes, so are you going to help me or not four eyes.” I gritted through my teeth, I definitely regretted calling them. They shook their head in doubt and small sounds of laugh escaped from their mouth again.

”Is this april the 1st?” They started to laugh again at their own joke and I smacked their arm to shut them up. They did and to my relief Hanji didn’t laugh anymore.
”Okay I´m listening.” They said and a serious tone had replaced the weird laugh noises from before. I sighed and thought how to begin this, I didn’t want them to laugh again and make fun of my idea.

”I think he likes me or he thinks I’m hansome.” Hanji snorted and I gave her a death glare. ”Anyway, I need to make him really like me so it will get easier to kill him of. But his friends can’t know about it.” Hanji nodded their head in understandingly and tapped their chin with their finger.

”If you don’t want his friends to question you after his dead, you need to make sure Eren doesn’t tell them. Say you’re not ready to be out or that your family is super strict and you don’t want anyone to find out.” I nodded my head, it was a great plan, if I played the victim right Eren wouldn’t dare to tell anyone.
”But how do I get him to like me?” I threw my hands up in the air dramatically and fell down on the bed. Hanji threw themselves on the bed as well and went quite again as if in thought. After a few minutes of silence they sat up and smiled widely.

”Why don’t you take him out for coffee or something first. Something easy.”
”I´ve already thought about that shitty glasses. I need step two, the step after that that will really make him swoon.”
”I know, why don’t you take him to a dance or something?” They said and pinched my leg. I smacked their hand and sat up.

”And where am I going to find a ball did you think? And didn’t we just come up with that no one would know about this” They look at me in thought and I can almost see their brain working.
”Then take him out on a picnic in the forest, no one will see you and it would be romantic.” They paused and I could see that they wanted to say something else but hesitated.
”What is it?” I sighed and looked at them pointedly.

”Just donat fall for him for real.” They said, their answer came as a shook for me. They knew I had never liked anyone and that I was the best at our work. So for them to make that comment made my stomach turn.

”Of course not, I’m not new at this job, I’ve been doing this for years.” I stood up and Hanji followed me. They hugged me and asked if I wanted to eat something together, I shook my head and told them I needed to come up with a finished plan. Hanji hugged me again and closed the door behind them.

Chapter Text



After the cinema I had avoided Levi, I didn’t want to see him I didn’t even want to hear him. It would probably make me more confused and my heart pound louder.

Instead I had talked to Armin and Mikasa and we had agreed to go home to Armin. I felt kind of bad when we left, I just shouted a “good bye” to everyone. My eyes caught Levi’s for a split second, he looked confused and I felt even worse.

Now we where sitting in Armins room on the floor. His grandpa had brought up some tea for us and cinnamon buns. There was nothing better than tea and cinnamon buns.

Mikasa had been glancing over at me since we left the cinema and I felt bad for not telling her about my struggle.

I knew I could tell her and Armin everything and when I came out to them one year ago they had been really supportive and hadn’t minded at all. But they where the only ones who knew. I did not want Jean that idiot to know, I did not know why, I just didn’t want him to know.

Sasha and Connie didn’t know either and sometimes I felt bad for keeping things from them. But I was not ready yet. That’s why I couldn’t even tell my best friends about these confusing feelings over the new student.

If they knew we had held hands during the movie, Armin would probably blush and say that it was adorable while Mikasa would frown and say she was suspicious of Levi.

But at the same time it would be nice to tell someone, to sort out these feelings. I sighed loudly and directly Mikasa and Armin turned to look at me. Crap, I thought and sipped my tea.

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked concerned, I loved her but sometimes she was way too overprotective.

“Nothing” I tried to smile to reassure her but she still looked at me with her grey eyes. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side as if she was scanning me. I started to squirm uncomfortably, it felt like she could read my thoughts when she did that.

“Is it about Jean?” She asked after a few seconds. Relieved I nodded.

“Yes” I said almost to hurriedly, thankfully she didn’t notice. “I’m just really tired of hearing his bullshit. Why are you even friends with him?” I shook my head and threw my arms up in the air dramatically.

Mikasa sighed.

“He’s fun and nice, you used to like him too.” I snorted and my lip curled up in disgust.

“No I’ve never thought of him as a friend.” I shook my head again and took a big bite from the cinnamon bun.

“Fine, sure you have never liked him, but he’s always kind. I like him and he’s staying in our friendship group.” For the first time since I’d met Mikasa, she raised her voice at me.

She usually talked quietly or in a normal tone but now her voice was raised and she looked at me with determination. It made me shocked and my eyes widened dramatically.

“Sorry.” I whispered and looked down on the floor ashamed. If Mikasa raised her voice you knew that you had done something wrong.

When I looked up at her she smiled and the small anger in her eyes where gone. I did not want to see her pissed at me ever again, that was scary as fuck.

“I’m sorry too, for raising my voice.” She smiled a cute small smile that made her cheek form a little dimple.

We continued to eat our snack and Armin who had been occupied with a book while we had argued (really Armin, can you read anywhere), now pulled up a card game.

The hours went buy and I needed to be home soon, my dad wouldn’t mind, he would probably not even know I was gone. But the butler would know.

I texted him and asked him to pick me up in thirty minutes. I still felt bad that I had never told my friends where I lived.

“I need to be home in thirty minutes.” I said when the butler had texted me back. Both Mikasa and Armin nodded and we decided to play a last round of cards.


The limousine was parked on another street, when I saw it I ran over and quickly got inside.

He started the car and I buckled up.

“Can you put on Queen?” I asked and directly my favorite Queen song sounded through the limousine.

“I want to break free!!” I singed along the song and started to move my hands in a silly dance move. If anyone had seen me I would have died of embarrassment. But it was just me and the butler and he would never tease me about my horrible singing voice.

In the middle of the big final of the song, my phone buzzed and I picked it up to check the text.

“Hi brat. I got your number from Sasha and I’m wondering if you would like to get a coffee tomorrow, my treat. -Levi”

I choked on my own spit and sat up straight. I had to read through the text a million times, but it still felt unreal. Why would he want to meet for coffee? Was he pissed we had held hands? But he started the hands holding, so why would he be pissed?

I sighed and threw the phone on the seat next to me. Directly I picked it up again only to throw it back down on the seat.

I pulled my hair in frustration, not knowing what to respond to his text. Should I accept or should I decline his offer. A loud sigh escaped my mouth and I kind of regretted not telling Mikasa and Armin about this.

When we got home I quickly ran up to my room, closed the door and threw myself onto the bed. The bed was warm so I pulled the covers over my body and over my head.

Then when I was under the covers I pulled out my phone. It felt like I had a dirty secret that needed to be hidden away.

I tried to write a respond, probably a million times. Every text I typed up felt lame and silly and not worthy sending. It probably took a good twenty minutes before I was pleased with my response. But it still sucked.

“Hi Levi. Yes I’m free tomorrow, and no you can’t treat me again, it’s my turn now. -Eren”

I pressed send and pulled the covers off of me. My stomach was making angry hungry noises so I ran down the stairs to get some dinner.

My dad was sitting at the dinner table with his computer next to him. He didn’t hear me walk inside so I cleared my throat. He looked up, smiled, then looked down again.

The butler pulled out a chair for me and I sat down while he served me some beef, potatoes and gravy.

“You’re not allowed to talk Eren, I’m very busy.” My dad said not leaving the computer with his eyes. I rolled my eyes and started to eat the dinner. Happy family dinner time, I thought and shoved some more beef into my mouth.



“Hi Levi. Yes I’m free tomorrow, and no you can’t treat me again, it’s my turn now. -Eren”

I almost laughed when I saw the text, what a cheeky brat.

“Tomorrow then.” I replied and put my phone down on the little table in the room.

I opened a bottle of white wine which Hanji had brought with them and started to pour myself a glass. This was going way easier than I had thought.

I smiled a sipped on my wine.

Chapter Text


When I woke up the next day my heart was throbbing and my eyes felt like they where glued shut. I tried to ignore my throbbing heart and the nervous tickles down my spine, it hadn’t even gone five minutes since I woke up and I was already freaking out about the coffee date. Date? Could I even call it a date, he had just ask for us to meet for coffee, friends did that, right?

I shook my head trying to clear it and trying to forget about the maybe ”date”. On my chair I had put some new clothes for the day, I put them on. A pair of jeans that had to many holes in them and a black t-shirt. My hair looked like a birds nest but I didn’t bother to style it so instead I put on a grey beanie.

When I got downstairs I could hear my dad talking on the phone, he sounded mad and frightened. I tried to tip toe closer to hear what he was saying.

”I don´t care if the money is lost, fix it, fix it now. We can’t be anymore depth.” He shout whispered the last sentence and almost slammed the phone onto the counter. He sighed and rubbed his eyes out of frustration, his long hair was a mess and he was dressed in an old pyjamas. The sight made my stomach turn, he always looked put together otherwise.

Maybe I should ask him if I could help him, but the angry look on his face made me decide to not disturb him. He probably didn’t want me to know about this. So instead I grabbed my coat and walked out.

The walk to the coffee shop wasn’t long and it only took me five minutes. It was not as cold as yesterday and the sun actually shone on me. It made my cheeks feel warmer and I smiled without thinking about it.

When I got to the café he was not there. So I sat down at one of the tables and started to look at the menu. There where a lot of different things I wanted and it made it hard to decide when everything sounded so good.

”Have you decided?” I looked up thinking it was the waiter but instead Levi was standing infront of me. He was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a white sweatshirt, his hair was newly washed and you could almost see small droplets of water. My throat felt dry and I swallowed.

”Not yet, everything looks good so its hard to decide.” He sat down opposite me and started to look at the other menu. It was distracting how he bit his lip while reading through the many desserts and drinks. The throbbing and nervous tickles where back and I averted my eyes back down onto the menu.

”I know what I want, do you?” He said and put down the menu on the table, I nodded and told him I wanted an iced caramel latte. Before I could protest Levi stood up and started to walk towards the counter.

”Wait.” I shouted and the few people in the coffee shop looked annoyed over at me. Levi turned around and a smug smile was formed on his lips, he kept on walking and talked to the cashier. Before I could think rationally I stood up and ran towards him.

”Do you want to pay with cash or card?” The old woman behind the counter asked, Levi started to get some cash from his pocket but before he could I had already slammed my money on the counter.

”Cash.” I said and smiled at the confused cashier, Levi looked annoyed but his lips where tugging upwards, like he couldn’t help to smile.

”Who are you?” The woman looked confused and of course she would, I had rushed like a mad man and slammed some money on the counter.

”He´s with me.” Levi said and chuckled lightly, the sound wasn’t loud and I had to strain my ears to hear him.
The woman smiled widely and nodded in understandingly, she took the cash and started to make our drinks. While she was gone Levi turned towards me.

”I said I wanted to pay.” I said before he had the chance to say anything. He needed to know that I could pay for myself and for him if I wanted to. It was not only he who could treat me. He shook his head and the small smile was back, it seemed like he didn’t smile often because the smile looked uncertain and new on his face.

”Yes you did and I ignored it. Not that it worked.”


When we got back to our seats we both sat down and I started to sip nervously on my drink and tried to sneak glances at Levi without him catching me. His hair was almost all dry now and I got the strange urge to run my fingers through to check if it was completely dry.

”Do you like the view brat?” Levi smirked at me and I could feel my cheeks heat up, he had noticed my stares and it made me want to burry myself alive. I shook my head and started to sipp on my drink again, it tasted sweet, just like I liked it. Levi had ordered a cup of Earl Grey tea, disgusting, so bitter, I cannot even imagine how it will taste.

”Isn´t that too bitter?” I said without thinking, Levi looked up at me and the smirk was back on his face.

”Yes its a bit more bitter than your suger bomb drink.” He pointed at my iced caramel latte.

”It´s good, much better than yours. Try it.” I shoved my drink towards him and he shook his head in disgust.

”No way I’m drinking something you’ve had in your mouth.” A small laugh escaped my lips, how could he be so scared of bacteria, it wasn’t like I had spit in my drink or something.

”I promise I haven’t spit in it, try it. You can’t say you hate it before you’ve tried it.” I shoved it even closer and nodded at the drink. I could see his Adams appell bobbing up and down nervously and it made me feel strangely superior.

”Fine.” He said and took a big sipp from it, my eyes widened in shock, I didn’t think he would actually do it. Levi grimaced and looked at the drink with disgust as if it had offended him.

”It really tastes like sugar shit, how much suger is in that thing?” He shook his head and took a big gulp of his tea.

”So you like Audrey Hepburn movies?” He said after a few seconds of silence, I could feel my cheeks heat up and I groaned loudly.

”Ah I can’t believe I told you that.” I put my face in my hands. I didn’t look up until I felt Levis hand in my hair, his hand made soft small comforting circles through my hair. When I looked up, he quickly looked away and I thought I could see a small blush on his face.

”Sorry…” He muttered and that strange feeling was back in my stomach. He was even more beautiful when he blushed.

”Don´t, I didn´t mind. Actually it was nice.” I stuttered and I had no idea where I got the courage to say so. The smirk came back on his face, all his embarrassment gone.

”So you just liked the act or do you like me too?” He looked smug with himself and a bit uncomfortable at the same time, like he didn’t know if he wanted to hear my response. I looked down at my drink and sighed deeply, I didn’t know what to say. How do you tell someone you’ve just met for almost two days that you already have a small crush on them.

”I don´t know.” I whispered. It was way to early to tell if I liked him in any romantic way and I didn’t want to make him scared and run away if I told him too much. Something grabbed my hand and when I looked it was Levis hand. His fingers where intertwined with mine and my heart started to pound again, loud, loud like a train going out from a station.

Just as at the cinema I didn’t know what to do, how to respond, instead I sat still, frozen at my seat. My eyes wide and staring at our hands. His hand was cold, so much colder than mine and I didn’t want to let go, but something in me said that I shouldn’t hold an almost strangers hand in public.

”It´s okay, I don´t mind if you like me.” He whispered and his thumb made comforting circles on the palm of my hand.

I let go of his hand as if it had given me an electric shock. He had just said he didn’t mind, he hadn’t said that he liked me back. Just that it was okay for me to like him and he wouldn’t find it disgusting. It made my stomach twist in a weird way and I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

I could hear Levi call for me and it felt like deja vu from yesterday. But this time was worse, he had found out that I kind of liked him and he hadn’t told me anything back.




I slammed my fist onto the table a bit too hard so some of the customers stared annoyed at me. Why had I said that? If I had lied and told him I liked him too then my plan would start to grow. But instead I hadn’t been able to say it and why had I started to touch his hair, sure it had looked really soft and it was soft, but why had I felt so embarrassed and blushed when he looked at me afterwards? I shook my head and groaned loudly making the people in the café stare at me again.

It would be harder, much harder than I had thought before. I probably needed to call Hanji again and talk to them about this. They where bat shit crazy but they always had good ideas.

After a few minutes Eren came back, his eyes looked red and it made my stomach turn. Weird, I thought, why does it feel strange to see him sad. He sat down and forced a small smile to form on his lips.

”Sorry, I don´t know… sorry.” He whispered and started to sip nervously on his drink. I had to fix this, make my plan work and make him believe that I liked him too. I tried my best to smile reassuringly, but it most likely looked like a grimace.

”No I´m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was that I feel flattered but…”

”But you don´t like me like that and you’re straight, I get it, spare me the speech. I already feel really embarrassed as it is.” He tried to laugh and smile it off but I could see the pain in his eyes.

As a shock it hit me that he actually really, really liked me, but why?

”No what I was going to say is, but I’m not there yet. I think I like you too but I’m not sure.” I tried to sound timid and insecure and I think he bought it, because he looked up and a small genuin smile was formed on his lips.

”Don´t you think this is too fast?” He laughed and it made my stomach feel funny again. His eyes crinkled when he smiled and his different coloured eyes sparkled.

”Maybe, probably but who cares.” I almost felt like laughing as well, my plan was going in the right direction. Finally he believed that I had some interest in him as well. I couldn’t help the smirk forming on my face but Eren didn’t seem to think it strange. Instead he smiled wider. His lips pulled so high when he smiled, never had I seen someone smile with their whole face, even his ears twitched when he smiled.


We stayed at the cafe for two hours before we decided to leave. We had talked about all kinds of things and I had learned a lot about Eren. His friends were like his real family and he didn’t get along with his dad. His mother had died many years ago but he still remembered somethings about her. He smiled when he talked about her, a sad and happy smile.
He asked me about my family and when I told him shortly about my uncle and how I didn’t have any parents anymore we dropped the subject and he told me he was sorry.
We hadn´t talked more about the liking part, about us maybe going on more dates.

We got up from our seats and pulled on our coats before we stepped outside. Was it too boled to hold his hand when we walked outside? I thought and looked up at him, small snowflakes had fallen onto his head into his dark hair and beanie.

Not sure if it was okay or if I was pushing it, I reached for his hand. He let me hold him and squeezed it tightly. His hand kept mine warm and I almost got lost in the feeling. It was nice to be liked to have someone hold your hand. I had never thought I was deserving of love so I had never tried and here I was now, holding hands and being loved by my target. By the boy I was supposed to kill. My stomach turned and I tried to push down the thought.

When we got to the busstation I let go of his hand and turned around towards him.

”Thank you for today Eren.” He blushed and I got a strange desire to touch his cheek and feel if it was warm.

”Thank you too, it was really nice.” He looked down on his boots and he looked troubled if he wanted to continue to talk or not. I nudged his arm lightly and he looked up. ”Would… would you like to meet again?”

I almost felt like laughing at how concerned he seemed, I had thought he was much bolder and didn’t fear anything. Maybe it was just because of me?

”Of course brat. I already told you before didn’t I. I want to see you more.” His face turned into the sun and he reached for my hand to squeeze it.

”But..” I tried to look nervous and I hope he bought it. ”Could you please not tell anyone about this, I’m not comfortable with anyone knowing yet.” I tried to make myself look pitiful and scared so he would believe me and not tell his friends or anyone about this, no one could know or my plan would fail.

”Of course, if that’s what you want, I won’t tell anyone.” He smiled and pulled me closer into a hug. He was warm, so warm and it felt nice to hug him. I could get lots of huggs in two weeks, but then he would be gone, no more warm hugs and big smiling face.

”See you on Monday.” He said and walked of, he turned around every two meters to wave at me and I almost laughed at his dorky behaviour.

In less than two weeks there would be no Eren.

Chapter Text



When I got back home after the coffee “date” I felt tired beyond repair. It was tiring to pretend to be nice and cute and lovey dovey. I didn’t like that sort of thing but apparently Eren liked it.

I still couldn’t get the image out of my head, the image of Eren blushing and hiding behind his hands. It was weird, super weird that that image had reappeared all the way home and now too. It was like I needed that image of the blushing dork.

I sighed and threw myself onto the bed picking up my phone to call Hange. I needed someone to talk to and Erwin was not someone I wanted to go to for advice. Especially not romance advice.

I dialed their number and it didn’t even go two signals before they picked up.

“Hellooo!!” They shouted eagerly through the phone and I cringed while pulling the phone away from my ear.

“Shut up you idiot.” I growled and put them on speaker. My ear still hurting.

“Sorry, you just never call me so I got excited.” They where like an excited puppy who was waiting for their master to come back home. I still couldn’t believe that Hange was an assassin too and a good one at that.

“Okay whatever. I have a problem...” before I could continue Hange shrieked and I groaned even louder.

“Oh tell me.” Now they really sounded like an excited puppy.

“Yes I was about to before you interrupted me shitty glasses.” I rubbed my eyes and I could hear Hange say a small sorry.

“As I was saying I have a problem. Eren, my target, he likes me..” Hange squeals again and I really regret calling them. “Shut up or I’m not telling you, I will hang up.” I threaten them, it turns quite on the other line and I see that as a sign to continue.

“At least he told me that he likes me and I said I liked him back so we’re probably dating now or something. It’s just I don’t really know what to do now. What if he wants to kiss or even worse fuck?” I threw my hand over my eyes dramatically and I felt like a silly high school girl talking about their crush.

“Is it okay for me to talk now?” Hange said teasingly and I groaned a yes. “Kissing is no problem you can wing it and you don’t have to have sex with him it’s only less than two weeks before he’s dead.” The word dead sends a jolt through my spin and I felt my hands clench in irritation.

Even if I talk about killing the brat I don’t want to hear Hange talk about it, it felt strange and I was feeling kind of pissed of.

“If he asks for sex just tell him you’re nervous and that you want to wait. He sounds like a good kid so he will understand.” The words kill and good kid doesn’t sound right and when I heard the words from another person I felt how wrong they sounded. I shook my head , trying to clear my thoughts.

“Okay but what do I do now what’s the next part in my plan.”

“Mhh, didn’t we discuss going out on a picnic? Somewhere in the woods where no one can see you. Maybe you can even kill him off then and there?” The thought of killing the brat makes me both sick and relaxed. This weird feeling from seeing his blushing face is making me anxious and I need that feeling to be gone soon. If Erens dead so will this feeling be.

“But the kill needs to point back at Erens dad.” I sighed and I can almost hear Hange thinking on the other end of the line.

“Why don’t you kill him in the woods, bury the body there and plant the murder weapon in their house. You need to make sure the dad is not with someone while you kill him. So the best time will be tomorrow at six in the evening.”

“Why is that?” I asked them.

“I hacked into Grishas computer and found his schedule. It says that he’s always taking a nap between 5-7. It’s perfect, none of the guards will be there and you could make it look like he snuck out and killed his son.”

I almost felt like laughing, the plan would be hard to pull of but it was still a plan.

“You’re brilliant.” I whisper more to myself than to them. But of course they heard me and they started to squeal again.

“Okay thanks shitty glasses. I’m hanging up now.” Before they could reply I end the call.

I couldn’t risk texting him, even if I deleted the text messengers they could still track it back to me. Instead I pressed on the call button. It just rang a few signals before I could hear his surprised voice.

“Levi?” He asked and I could almost hear the blush on his face. I got the strange urge to want to see his face, I shoved that thought away.

“Hello brat.”

“Can you stop calling me brat, we are the same age.”

“Yes we’re the same age” Not, “But I can call you brat if I want to, brat.” He laughed quietly on the other line almost a giggle. I could feel my lips turn up unconsciously.

“No please have another pet name for me, brat sounds like I’m a little kid.”

“I will not call you a silly pet name like sweetheart, brat is all you get.” He sighed and groaned loudly. Then he giggled again.

“I still can’t believe you like me.” Same brat same, I thought and shook my head.

“But I do.” My throat felt tight and it felt strange saying the words. When I said them he sounded so happy and I felt like puking, what was wrong with me?

“So brat, do you want to go on a picnic tomorrow at 5:30?”

“Yes.” He said directly almost too eagerly and I chuckle quietly.

“Eager much.” The smirk on my lips widened when I heard him groan loudly. Then he started to chuckle as well. It’s such a sweet sound and it made my heart clench weirdly.

“Then tomorrow, I really look forward to see you Levi.” How he said my name, like it was something precious made my head spin.

“Okay great, just don’t tell anyone.” I tried to sound as nervous and scared as possible and directly Eren tried to reassure me that he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“Then tomorrow.”

“Yes tomorrow.” He hung up the phone and directly I felt my body relax. I hadn’t even noticed that I had been clenching every muscle in my body.

Tomorrow Eren would be dead, but instead I was the one who felt like is was going to die. What the hell was wrong with me?

Chapter Text


My heart was pounding like crazy when I left the house. No one had noticed me when I had snuck out and it was actually kind of exhilarating to sneak out. I had put on a nice button up shirt and a pair of jeans under my coat.

Thankfully the weather was not so cold and it would be nice to be out for a picnic. But the thought of Levi and me going on a date together made my face heat up and my legs shake a bit. I felt utterly pathetic and tried to shake the nerves away. Nothing seemed to help and my heart was still pounding.

He was supposed to pick me up with his car at the park a few blocks away. I didn’t have to look a long time for the car because Levi was leaning on it and smirked when he saw me. My cheeks heated up again, why couldn’t my cheeks listen and stop turning red?

“Are you ready?” Levi asked when I got close enough to hear him. He sounded a bit strange like he was struggling to keep calm. That actually made me feel a tiny bit better, that I was not the only one being a complete nervous wreck.

I nodded and Levi opened the door for me. Now I really felt pathetic, but I still let him do it. The car was so clean that I could probably have licked the floor and it wouldn’t have been disgusting. The drive out to the woods was quite. Way too quite than I wished it to be. Levi was frowning and he looked pained, like he was struggling with something. Before I could stop myself I put my hand on his leg and squeezed it lightly. He flinched and I directly removed my hand, blushing like a mad man.

“Sorry” I muttered and turned away towards the window so he couldn’t see my embarrassment.

“No I’m sorry, it’s okay. I was just surprised.” He turned towards me and smiled before grabbing my hand and putting it back on his leg. I felt like dying but the feeling of his hand in mine and his leg under my hand was too nice.

“We’re soon there now.” He said and the pained expression was back. He let go of my hand but didn’t make any effort to take my hand away from his leg, so I kept it there.




We arrived at the spot, it was closed off and far away from anyone’s eyes. My plan was simple, make him eat the food that was poisonous and plant that poison in the Erens house. Then his father would be blamed and I would walk free.

I felt nervous and my hands kept shaking, I was clearly not myself. I usually was so calm that you wouldn’t believe I was actually killing people. But now I felt like a wreck, Eren probably thought I was nervous because of the date so that was good. But I couldn’t shake of the thought that Eren would soon be dead.

We sat down on a blanket and I handed another for him to put around himself. He looked so soft and cuddly that it made me smile. His cheeks were red from the cold and in his hand he held a cup of coffee.

“So what are we going to eat?” He said while taking a sip from his coffee. Thank god I hadn’t put poison in that also, otherwise he would die directly. It still felt strange and I wanted to make his last moment a happy one. How absurd did that sound? The assassin trying to make his victims die happy.

“Levi? Are you okay?” I looked up quickly and catched Erens concerned face. He came closer and put his hand on my cheek. His hand was so warm and much bigger than mine. I got a strange urge to snuggle my face into his palm.

“Yes I’m fine. It’s just so nice to be here with you.” I said and tried to sound sincere, it seemed to work because his face softened and he rubbed my cheek kindly.

“I think so too.” He smiled again and let go of my face and directly I missed his touch. What had become of me, I wanted nothing else than him to touch me again. Before I could think more about missing Erens touch I started to pour myself a cup of tea.

“Aren’t you cold? You can share the blanket with me if you want.” When I looked at him he’s blushing and he was holding the blanket open for me to cuddle in. I thought about my options but decides to join him after a small battle with myself.

He was so much warmer than me, like a personal oven and he pulled the blanket close around us so we had to sit right next to each other.

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” He asked and I snorted loudly which made him blush again. “Sorry that was a weird question.” We both laughed and I shook my head.

“It’s fine, I like that about you.” And to my surprise I actually meant it, it was not something I said because I needed to trick him. “The craziest thing I’ve done. Hmm probably when I didn’t clean for three weeks.” Eren laughed and threw his head back. “What?” I asked kind of shocked at his reaction.

“That can’t be the craziest thing you’ve done. If that’s so crazy for you then you should see my room, I haven’t cleaned it for almost half a year.” My eyes widened and I looked over at him with disgust.

“That’s normal Levi. You’re just not normal.” He laughed again and shoved me playfully in the shoulder. I shoved him back so hard that he fell over and then I sat on top of him. My hands on both sides of his head. He stopped laughing and instead the blush was back. I could feel my lips tug up in a smirk.

“Say that again.” I demanded and his lips parted while his cheeks turned even redder.

“You’re not normal... Levi.” He said while trembling, he didn’t look scared more like he was liking me on top of him. I leaned down, so close that our noses touched. His breath touching my lips and the smell of coffee was strong.

“You’re such a brat.” I whispered and then he kissed me. I froze up and every cell in my body told me to move away and not get to involved with the brat. He was going to die today. But I couldn’t, even if I wanted to run away I couldn’t move. Because Erens lips were so soft and he was Eren. I was kissing my victim.

“Sorry.” Eren pulled away and I understood that I had not been kissing him back. When I looked at his face he was biting his lip and tears were forming in his eyes. In that moment I knew I couldn’t kill him, not now not ever. I had fallen for my victim.

Then I kissed him.

Chapter Text


I grabbed him by the color of his shirt and pressed my lips against his. He gasped and I could feel him smile against my lips. It felt like I was floating and I never wanted to pull away from him.

Then reality crashed down onto me, he was my victim, I was kissing my victim. Before I could think about my options I pulled away and started to pack away all the food and drinks. Eren sat first still with his lips parted and a small blush on his cheeks. Then he frowned and looked confused at me.

I had almost gotten everything into the bag when Eren grabbed my hand.

“Are you okay?” He asked his voice a bit shaken like he didn’t know if he should be scared or not. I probably looked like a crazy person but I didn’t care. We needed to run and get away from here. I didn’t have a clear plan of how we would escape but I knew I wouldn’t let him die.

“I will tell you everything in a bit. Just sit there until I’m done.” I didn’t look at him just pulled the blanket so he would move off and then put it in the bag as well. When I was done I stood up and grabbed his hand dragging him after me.

“Levi, what’s going on, you’re scarring me.” His voice was really shaking now and I felt like the worst person alive for making him scared.

“I need to tell you something but you can’t freak out.” I said while dragging him after me. I didn’t bother to look if he nodded in agreement and just kept talking. “I’m an assassin and I was hired to kill you and make it look like it was your father.”

Before I even finished Eren pulled away and got lose from my grip. When I turned around he looked both angry and scared but mostly he looked like he wanted to punch me.

“You what?” He screamed and small tears started to form in his eyes. I tried to step closer to him but he raised his fists and shouted at me to stay back.

“Eren, I did plan to kill you but not anymore. Do you really think I would expose me being an assassin and getting hired to kill you, if I was not going to.” I shouted back and crossed my arms over my chest. He still looked like I would kill him any second.

“How can I trust you? I thought you liked... no it doesn’t matter you were just playing me.” He started to walk off and when I grabbed his arm he punched me so hard I had to take a step back.

“Don’t touch me.” He shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks. My heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces and the sight in front of me made me hate myself even more.

“Eren please, I didn’t mean to fall for you but I did and I can’t let you die. If you walk away from me and go home, some other assassin will take my place and kill you. But if you go with me I can protect you.”


My head started spinning, it felt so surreal, Why was I here with Levi. Why did Levi just tell me he was supposed to kill me? Levi who had been a real pain the first hours we met but then gradually I had fallen for. That Levi was telling me he was an assassin and his next target was me.

The tears started spilling over and my breath came out short and panicky. It felt like everything was upside down and I couldn’t hear what Levi was saying. He walked closer to me, his hand raised as if to touch me. Before I could think it through I hit him. Not super hard but at least a lot harder than I thought I would ever hit him.

He didn’t look mad or angry at me, he just looked sad. Why was he sad? I was the one being tricked. The pain in my chest came back and I understood that Levi had never liked me not even a little bit. He had used me and I had fallen so hard. He had even made me distance myself from my friends, just so his work would be easier.

“...but if you go with me I can protect you.” Levi finished and I had just heard half of it. Him protect me? It felt weird, how would I ever be able to trust him again.

“How can I trust you?” It came out as a sob and I wanted to punch myself for sounding so pathetic. When I looked at Levi’s face he looked so pained, but how could I know it was real and not fake.

“I mean it Eren, it’s probably the last thing you want to hear but I do like you a lot. I don’t want you to die that’s why I’m doing this.” His eyes looked genuine and filled with regret.

I stepped forward, my brain screaming not to but my body moving towards him. He looked like I was about to hit him again but he didn’t move. The closer I came the more I wanted to be near him and at the same time be as far away as possible.

“I’m so sorry Eren.” He whispered when I grabbed his face with my hands. He didn’t look frightened, he looked like he didn’t care what I did with him. It made me feel reassured that, like he did mean his words and that I could maybe trust him. He was my safest choice to come out of this alive, my only choice.

“I will follow you, but I do not trust you, at all. Our relationship is over as well, I don’t want you anywhere near me. And you have to tell me everything about yourself.” I let go of his face and his features turn cold like he was trying to appear indifferent. Like he didn’t care that I don’t want him as a boyfriend anymore, maybe he doesn’t care.

“Okay, I will tell you everything. But we need to walk, so we can get away from here quickly.” He tried to grab my hand again but I pulled away and walked by myself. I didn’t want to touch him, not even his hand.

We started walking, Levi a bit in front of me.

“I’ve been an assassin for many years. I was born in the USA but I’ve lived in France and other countries in Europe more. I’ve killed over a hundred people, most of them being evil. Some of them just falling victim.” He looked over at me with a pained gaze.

“I don’t know who ordered you to get killed but the pay was very high. They want it to look like your dad did it. Do you have any idea who it could be?” It was strange hearing about your own assassination and that the guy you liked had killed over a hundred people. My brain was probably going to explode soon over all this new information.

“I heard my dad has a depth, maybe they’re the ones. But I have no idea who they are.” My stomach turned and I felt like I would be sick. Who could they be? What awful things had my dad done to make them want to kill me. A shiver went down my spine and I felt cold all of a sudden.

“That’s a good start. We still have a few days before they will send another assassin after the case. We have time to escape the country and move to Europe.”

“What?” I almost screamed and looked at him with horror. “I can’t just move to Europe, what about my friends and my dad.” I stopped walking and Levi stopped as well, turning around to look at me.

“Do you want to die?” He gritted through his teeth. He looked annoyed and angry that I was thinking so stupidly.

“No I don’t, but I can’t leave my friends. What if they take out their anger on them when I’m gone?” I could feel the pathetic tears starting to fall again. Levi walked close to me and touched the side of my face, wiping away the tears. I wanted to push him away but at the same time, it felt so comforting.

“Okay we will just go into hiding. But we need to be careful and get to know who is behind this so I can kill them instead.” He looked at me with a fierce gaze and my knees felt weak. Why did he have this affect on me. I wanted him to embrace me and tell me everything would be okay. But I ignored the urge and pulled away from him.

“Okay let’s go.”

Chapter Text


We rented a cabin in the woods under another name. We had been staying here for the last couple of days, this was the last day that Levi had before he was suppose to have killed me. I could feel that we both were nervous, maybe me more than him. We hadn’t almost talked at all since the picnic and I wanted to scream in anger. He was the one who fucked everything up, so why did I feel so weird?

I shrugged and sat down on the sofa next to Levi. He had been calling this Hange person every day, trying to figure out who the person who hired Levi was. They hadn’t found anything yet but every time I asked Levi muttered and said he was close.

During these several days I had learned that Levi was 6 years older than me and that he was fluent in French. I had almost choked on my drink when he started to speak French on the phone. His voice had sounded so good that it made my insides squirm.

“Levi.” I asked now, bumping my leg friendly against his. He didn’t look up, he was busy reading some article Hange had sent him. “Levi? Why do you never talk to me?” The annoyance that has been building up for the past couple of days spill over and I snapped

He looked up at me then back down at his phone. I grabbed it without thinking and Levi looked at me with an annoyed stare.

“Give it back brat.” He sighed and held out his hand. I know it was childish but this was the first time in a while that Levi actually paid me any attention. This was probably not a good time to annoy Levi, especially because it was the last day before some other assassin would track me down.

“No.” I said and held the phone far away from him. He scowled and mutter something about idiotic brat. His annoyed face almost made me laugh and I wanted to tease him more.

Before I could come up with anything else to tease him with he pushed me down on the sofa and straddled my hips. I was so shocked that Levi easily grabbed the phone. He smirked down at me and started to climb of me, before I could think I grabbed onto his hips. Making him stay where he was. The look on his face was priceless, he looked shocked and at the same time pleased.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked in a mocking tone and I grabbed his hips tighter, making him moan in surprise.

“You haven’t talked to me in several days.” I muttered out and pouted a bit. He smiled and leaned closer towards me making my heart run fast in my chest. When our noses touched he smirked and pulled away.

“You still like me, don’t you.” It wasn’t even a question, it was a statement, he knew I still liked him. I tried to make my face as neutral as possible but I couldn’t manage when he was still sitting on my lap.

“You tried to kill me, I can’t like you.” I averted my eyes so I didn’t have to look into his. He would see that I was lying, because I was. I wanted Levi to embrace me and love me, I didn’t care anymore that he was hired to kill me. He had said he wouldn’t do it and he was trying to protect me.

“It doesn’t matter if you can’t because it’s morally wrong. What matters is that you do like me, and I like you back.” He said and my heart squeezed so hard I wondered if it would explode. When I looked up into his eyes he smiled down at me. Not a smirk, just a genuine smile.

“Levi, I.. I want to be with you, I really like you.” I whisper. “Do you maybe like me back?” I asked, every part of me was screaming in anticipation.

“Yes.” He said and leaned down to press our lips together. They were soft and a bit colder than mine. But he tasted wonderfully and the kiss was better than I remembered. His hand intertwined in my hair and he softly pulled at the strands, making me gasp in pleasure.

His younger swept over my top lip and I let our tongues collide. It was wet and wonderful, I didn’t want t to ever end. Levi reaches for my T-shirt and put his hands down onto my stomach under the T-shirt.

“Levi” I moaned when his fingers ran over my stomach. His fingers felt like electricity and I wanted him to touch me everywhere, for ever, I never wanted him to stop. When I tried to reach for his shirt he pulled back and sat a bit away from me.

“Sorry” He said and stood up to walk away to the bathroom.

“Levi?” I shouted after him, confused and sad I sat there. What did I do wrong? The stupid tears threatened to appear and I wanted to bury myself alive.

Chapter Text


He had come too close, I had felt my heart hammering like crazy against my rib cage. The way his lips had felt on mine had blown me away. My hands on his stomach had made my whole body scream with want. I had pulled away in the last second before he could touch me too. I don’t know why but it felt wrong. It felt like this was not the time for intimacy, this was the time to figure out who wanted Eren dead.

I rinsed my face with water and felt the heat in my cheeks die down. The image of Eren underneath me kept playing on repeat like a broken record. I shock my head trying to get the image away but once more his panting face appeared. Annoyed I splashed some more water on me before I walked out, into the living room.

Eren was still sitting on the sofa his eyes looked a bit red and I felt a pang of regret. When he looked up at me his eyes first showed expectation, then concern and then anger. He scowled at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

“What was that for?” He asked and his voice was raspy after crying. Another pang of guilt shot through me and I sat down next to him. He flinched a bit and looked at me with angry eyes.

“We can’t do that.” I started and the look on Erens face was horrible, he looked so wrecked and sad and betrayed. “I mean, it’s not the time, we need to figure out who wants you dead.” I put my hand on his knee and squeezed it reassuringly. He seemed to relax which made me feel a bit better. At least the sad look on his face was gone, but he still looked hurt.

I leaned closer not knowing if what I was doing was the right choice or if I was making a terrible choice. Our eyes met and for a second I paused, before I saw the want in his eyes, he wanted me. We both closed the gap and our lips met again. It was not a kiss filled with passion, instead it was a nice comforting kiss which made me want him even more.

When we broke away from each other Eren was slightly panting and he had the silliest smile on his lips.

“You’re such a dork brat.” I laughed which made Eren laugh as well. His eyes almost closed when he laughed. His smile taking over his whole face.

“You’re the dork.” He leaned close to me, our chest pressed together. His arms around me and his head resting on my shoulder.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me again. Or I will hire you to assassinate yourself.” He muttered while almost giggling. His fake frown making him look even more adorable.

“I’m not very cheap so I don’t know if you could afford me.” I joked back which made Eren frown crack and a real smile appear instead.

“I’ve never seen you as cheap.” He mumbled while blushing the most adorable shade of red. “I think you’re beautiful.”

I felt my own face heat up and almost wanted to run away again. This was so far away from how I used to live and be. I would never have guessed that I would be cuddling with a brat and falling for him, deeply.

“Enough of the sappy talk.” I said trying to lighten the mood and make the weird feeling in my stomach disappear. Eren didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t call him beautiful back. He probably knew that I wasn’t ready yet to talk lovey dovey.

We sat like that for awhile, none of us talking, just enjoying each other’s company. The smell of flowers coming off of Erens hair made my head dizzy and I could’ve gotten lost in that moment.



A few hours went with just us cuddling on the sofa. It was warm and Levi’s strong arms around me felt amazing. He was shorter than me but he was much stronger than me. His arms felt like pure muscle when he held me. I got the urge to put my hands under his shirt to feel if Levi really was built with only muscles or if it was just a theory of mine.

Then I remember how he pulled away when I tried to do that before and I resist the urge to do it.

Levi’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out from his pocket. On the display I could see the name Hange. Levi nuzzled himself out of my grip and walked away towards the bathroom. The moment he was out of sight I felt a pang of jealousy, it was silly but still it felt weird that Levi didn’t want to talk to Hange without me hearing.

I thought about eavesdropping but then I decided not to, I would probably feel really guilty afterwards. Instead I sat there on the sofa and started to think about Mikasa and Armin. I missed then so much, even if it had just been a few days, I still missed them.

They had probably texted and called me a million times by now, the thought made me feel guilty and I wanted nothing else than to call them and tell them I was okay. Jean that prat had probably tried to flirt with Mikasa while I was gone. He was one I did not miss at all.

Levi steppes out of the bathroom, he was frowning and looked to be in deep thought. His hand was clenching the phone so hard I thought it would snap in half. He didn’t seem to look at me at all, he just walked towards the kitchen and poured a glass of water for himself.

After a few seconds of complete silence, I stood up and walked behind him. Embracing him from the back. He didn’t move, just stood there as if he didn’t notice me at all. When I kissed his neck he turned his head and a small smile appeared.

“Are you okay Levi?” I asked between kissing his neck. It seemed like he started to relax when I kissed him so I kept going.

“No.” He said firmly and I paused the kisses. He didn’t say anything for awhile he probably wouldn’t if I didn’t ask him.

“Can you tell me?” I tried to ask and his body froze for a second.

“I talked with another assassin, Hange. We can trust them, I’ve told them about our situation and they’re going to help us. The bad news is that one of the best assassins have been appointed you case.” He breathed out a second before he talked again. “It’s the man who raised me,Kenny.” He said the name with such hatred that I almost flinched. His words wheee dripping with venom.

“What should we do?” I asked, my voice felt strange and strained.

“I have to kill him.” Levi hissed out, his hand closed around the glass so hard it cracked. I yelled in surprise and saw the blood running down Levi’s hand. He didn’t seem to mind, he just frowned and threw the glass into the bin.

“Levi, we need to mend your hand.” I grabbed his hand and held it up to see if it needed more than a bandage. It didn’t seem like the cuts where too deep, so just a bit of rinsing and antibiotics and plasters would fix it.

We walked over to the sofa again, Levi sitting next to me with his hand in my lap. When his hand was wrapped plasters I let it go. Levi was still sitting up tight as if he had seen a ghost. Maybe he had, maybe he hadn’t seen this Kenny person in a very long time.

“Are you okay?” I whispered and pressed a kiss to his hand. He looked over at me, his eyes filled with dread.

“I’m fine.” He lied and pushed me down on the sofa so he could rest on top of me.
“Tomorrow you will meet Hange. Don’t get too scared.” He almost giggles at his own words and I felt a bit more reassured that Levi would be okay. Everything would be okay.

Chapter Text


The day was warm and the sun shone through the window. I had woken up in Erens arms, I hadn’t even remembered falling asleep there but it was warm and cosy. It still felt surreal that we were together or whatever we are.

I snuggled closer to him, his heartbeat in my ears. Before I could fall asleep again I heard a violent knock on the door. Groaning I walked toward the door, dragging my feet behind me. I didn’t bother looking through the peephole, I probably should have because then I would have seen Hange standing there.

The door opened and Hange threw them self’s over me. Arms hugging the life out of my tired body while squealing in joy.

“Levi my son!!” They shouted and I still don’t understand why they sometimes call me son, we’re the same fucking age.

“Shut it four eyes.” I pushed them away and directly remember Eren in the sofa, still sleeping. Hange didn’t spot him yet but I know they will turn crazy when they see him.

“Soo where’s your hubby?” They laughed and giggled like a crazy person. I groaned and walked towards the kitchen making myself a cup of tea.

“Leviiii tell meeee!!” They sing songed while following me into the kitchen.

“He’s sleeping, so don’t wake him up.” I muttered while pouring a cup for me and Hange. Even if they annoy me so much I still make them a cup of tea, I’m the best friend ever.

“So tell me how he stole your cold heart.” They giggled while sitting down on a chair next to the dining table. I took two bags of tea and put them in our cups before sitting down next to Hange.

“I’m not telling you any sappy details, because there aren’t any.” Hange pouts and grabs their cup with both hands.

“Ahh you’re such a kill joy Levi.” They pouted even more and takes a big gulp of the tea, even if it’s probably still very warm. Hange doesn’t seem to care or notice and takes another big gulp.

“Yes Levi you’re such a kill joy.” I turned around in surprise, Eren is standing in the doorway. His arms crossed over his chest and a smug smile is spread over his lips.

“Omg, you must be Eren.” Hange stood up from their chair and ran towards Eren like a bull running towards a red flag.

“God let him breath.” I shouted when Hange starts squeezing the crap out of Eren. They mutter a sorry but keeps on smiling like a crazy person. “Levi make your man a cup of tea and let’s plan a murder together.” They demanded and I almost regret calling Hange.



My first thought is that Hanges crazy, my second thought is that I love them. They’re like a crazy older sibling which I wanted to be around forever. Levi looked like he wanted to die but I could see he actually really liked Hange and treasured their friendship.

Hange is a great assassin, according to Levi they’re almost as good as him and they’ve got a great brain. Hanges brain is apparently so big that they have turned crazy because of it. It’s both a good thing and a bad thing he says, but I’ve decided I like that about them.

”I’ve got great news gang.” Hange started and their eyes sparkled in mischief.

“Don’t call us gang idiot.” Levi mumbled but Hange just ignored him, instead they kept on talking like he doesn’t exist.

“You know how I’m friends with a lot of other people in this industry and I’ve got my tricks to make them talk. So I’ve found out who it is that orders the murder on sweet Eren here.” They embraced me in another hug and Levi mumbles something like, you’re dead.

“So who is it, or are you going to drag it out forever?” Levi muttered and I almost giggled at the scene in front of me. Levi looking pissed and Hange looking like they’re the happiest person in the world.

“Take it easy, this is because you’ve never gotten together with anyone before.” They signed towards me and now I giggled out loud. Levi gave me a pointed look and I put my hands up in surrender. “Fine, his name is Zeke and he’s Erens half brother.” The last part they almost whispered but I still caught it.

My breath hitched and my heart drops to the ground. How do I have a half brother without knowing and why the hell does he want me dead. I feel a form of panic starting to build inside me and my breath comes out in rigid breaths.

“Eren.” Levi’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and he stroked my shoulder blades in comforting motions.

“Can I get a minute?” I said not waiting for a reply I ran towards the bathroom. My hands shook and my breath rigid ones more. Through the locked door I can hear Levi’s concerned voice and then his annoyed tone towards Hange. I want to tell him it’s not their fault but I can’t move, I can just sit there and try to breath normally.

“God, shit.” I muttered out.



It took a few minutes before Eren comes out, his breathing was normal again but his eyes were red and my chest started to hurt at the sight.

“Eren.” I moved in to hug him and he let me. My cheek falling onto his shoulder in comfort.

“Sorry for getting emotional.” He mumbled so quietly I can almost not hear him. I shook my head and squeezed him closer towards me.

“It’s fine. If you want to take a break it’s okay.”

“No, we need to find Kenny. At least we know who paid for the job now. I also know some things about my father that I didn’t want to know but that doesn’t matter right now.” His face was determined and a spark of anger filled his eyes.

“I’ve got a lead.” Hange came running towards us their phone in their hand. “Someone has seen Kenny at a nearby bar, we can track him down.”