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Since When Do You Have a Kid?

Chapter Text


Her teacher said it was time for their break after showing them their latest lesson. She was bit bored because it was just so easy. But she was happy that it was recess. Morgan was walking out with the rest of the kindergartners to recess when someone put their hands on her back and shoved. It was bit too hard to be accidental, and she was surprised enough that she fell down on her way to the swing set. Pain bloomed in her scraped knees. 

"Ow!" Morgan cried. She pushed herself up from the woodchips, brushing off her knees. They stung a bit. "Hey, that wasn't very nice." 

The boy in front of her stuck out his tongue at her. 

"So what? Are you gonna cry? Get over it," the boy said. He shoved her shoulder again, only this time she didn't fall over. 

"You're a jerk," Morgan told him. "Stop it." The boy pushed her again petulantly, and Morgan scowled at him. "Stop it!" 

She tried to shove him away, but he was bigger than her. All he did was laugh at her. 

"What are you going to do? Tell on me?" the boy asked. He pushed her again, and this time she fell on her butt. 

"Hey, she told you to leave her alone," a new voice said.

Morgan looked up to see the girl with green cargo pants she had met earlier in class. She was staring menacingly at the boy. The boy opened his mouth to say something, but he was abruptly cut off when her fist collided with his face. Morgan's eyes widened as blood began to stream down from his nose. The boy clutched at his face, red bubbling up between his fingers, and he ran off, crying. The other girl shook out her hand and walked toward Morgan. She extended her hand to her with a smile. 

"Hi. You okay?" the girl asked. 

"Yeah. I'm fine now," Morgan said. "Thanks." 

"No problem, Mushu," the girl replied, tugging Morgan up to her feet. 

"That's not my name. I'm Morgan," Morgan told her. The other girl just smiled. 

"I don't know. You'd make a pretty cool mini dragon," she said. 

She hadn't actually seen Mulan yet, so she guessed that was a compliment? Maybe. 

"Who are you?" Morgan asked. 

"Oh, right. Ellie Camacho, pleased to meet ya," the girl replied with a bright grin. She held out her hand to her for her to shake. Morgan shook it. "Wow, that guy was a jerk." 

"That's what I said!" Morgan said. She smiled back at her. 

"Ms. Camacho!" Morgan heard her teacher call. The other girl froze and looked at Morgan. 

"Ah, shit," Ellie said. Morgan covered her mouth to hide a giggle as Mrs. Greene came closer. She had only ever heard her daddy say that word before, and he had told her not to use it. It was Mommy's word. Maybe Ellie's Daddy had said it, too. 

"Can we hang out at break tomorrow?" Morgan quickly asked before the teacher got there. 

"Oh, yeah, totally. If I don't get suspended," Ellie told her. She gave her a wink and turned to face the teacher. "Yes, Mrs. Greene?" She was all wide eyed and looking like she couldn't hurt a fly. 

"Did you just punch Grant in the face?" Mrs. Greene demanded. Her hands were on her hips. 

"Well, considering he was being a jerk to Mushu, hell yeah," Ellie said. "Jerks get punched." 

"Language, Ellie," the teacher sighed. 

"Sorry. Heck yeah. Forgot you can't use the H - E - double hockey sticks at school," Ellie said. She made a cross over her chest. The teacher stared at her. 

"And who is Mushu?" Mrs. Greene asked with a small frown. Ellie rolled her eyes and jerked her thumb in Morgan's direction. 

"My new bestie. And I think if he pushes her one more time, I will probably do more than just punch his nose," the girl replied. 

"As... noble as that might be, you can't just go around punching anyone you want, Ellie. I'm afraid you have to come to the office with me," Mrs. Greene told her. 

"But she was just trying to help me! That isn't fair," Morgan protested. 

"You have to come to the office, too, Morgan," Mrs. Greene said. 

"What? But why?" Morgan asked. 

"We need all sides of the story. We'll just ask some questions, and then, your parents will be called," Mrs. Greene explained. 

"Damn," Ellie muttered. She scuffed the toe of her Converse on the cement. 

"What was that?" Mrs. Greene asked, looking at her. 

"I said darn, ma'am," Ellie said. She blinked innocently at her. "Did you think I said something else?"

The teacher narrowed her eyes momentarily, seeming unconvinced, before she gestured for them to follow her. The girls walked after her, going side by side. She snuck a glance at the other girl. 

"Sorry, I got you in trouble," Morgan murmured. 

"Hey, it's nothing really. Don't worry about it. Besides..." Ellie said. She slung an arm around Morgan's shoulders, giving her a brief, sideways hug. "I got to meet you, didn't I? That's pretty cool." 

"Yeah," Morgan admitted. "My Mommy and Daddy will be mad, though. It's only the second week of school, and I already got sent to the office." She frowned at her shoes. 

"It's not like it's your fault, really. They should understand," Ellie assured her. She took her hand and squeezed it gently. Morgan managed a smile. "Me, on the other hand, I just hope my Daddy comes this time. My aunt does not like it when I get into fights." 

"Your Daddy doesn't mind?" Morgan asked. Ellie laughed. 

"I'm sure if you meet him, you'll get what I mean, Mushu," she said. 

"Oh, okay," Morgan murmured. They neared the office door, and Mrs. Greene looked back at them. 

"Ellie, you first, then Morgan can come in. Morgan, please wait out here in one of the chairs," the teacher instructed. 

"Yes, Mrs. Greene," Morgan replied. She went over to sit in one of the little chairs by the door. Ellie gave her a little wave before she disappeared through the door. It clicked shut behind her. 

Chapter Text

Wade was in the middle of unaliving some baddies when he heard his phone ring. Now, it wasn't like he had his phone on him exactly. That would ruin the lines of his suit, and he hated how that looked. Yick. No, it was in a dufflebag near the door of Weasel's bar. He had his extra guns and shit in it. Naturally, it was on the inside, and he was on the outside, so it was kinda muffled. But he still heard it. Wade flipped backwards, kicking off the crumbly ass brick and impaled Baldie right between the eyes. The man's body fell to the street with a dull thud, a wet squelch emanating as he dragged Arthur out of his head. 

"Sorry, we have to cut this short. I've got to take this call!" Wade said. He thrust his katana through the redhead's stomach and forced it upward. The redhead collapsed to his knees, trying to hold his guts inside his body in vain. "Adios, fellas." 

The muffled ringing continued on the other side of the door as he strode over to it, sliding his bloodied katanas back into their sheaths. He left the drug dealers he had been hired to take out where they were. It wasn't like this alley hadn't seen a couple dead bodies in it before. Besides, they had been venturing into the world of human trafficking, the scum. They hardly deserved a proper burial. Wade wrapped his fingers around the doorknob and yanked it open, slipping inside. Weasel shot him an irritated look and gestured at his dufflebag. He wiped at the wooden counter with a disinfectant soaked rag. 

"Get your fucking phone, Wade. It's giving me a migraine," Weasel snapped. 

"What? The 'Hello Kitty' theme song too hardcore for you, Weas?" Wade asked. 

"God, I hate you," Weasel said. He tossed his rag from the counter in a bin and grabbed another one. He started polishing a glass. 

"Nah, you don't. You know you love me," Wade replied as he skipped over to his bag. "Why'd you shove my stuff under a table?" 

"I can't have an open bag of firearms right next to the door of my bar," Weasel said. He rolled his eyes. "That's like asking someone to take it." 

"You're such a Negative Nancy. No one likes Negative Nancy's," Wade told him. He finally managed to open his dufflebag and pull out his cellphone, tapping the answer button. "Hello? Deadpool speaking." 

"Hi, Wade," Emily said. 

"Emily! What's up, sweetie?" Wade asked. Emily only ever really called him about Ellie, so he didn't know what was up. 

"Ellie's in the principal's office, and he wants to talk to her parent or guardian before she's allowed to go home. You know I hate to disturb you when you're on the job, but my boss just will not budge on my hours today. Can you go to the parent meeting? Please?" Emily asked. 

"Of course, Em. I'll be there in-" Wade looked down at his wrist and flipped up the leather strap to see his plastic 'Hello Kitty' watch. "Is half an hour okay?" 

"I'm sure that'll be good. Thanks a lot. And there's leftover spaghetti in the fridge for her dinner," Emily said. "I should be back before then, but just to let you know. 'Kay?" 

"Yup. Sounds great. Thanks for the heads up. See ya tonight," Wade replied. 

"Alright. Bye," Emily said. There was the dial tone, and he dropped his cellphone back to his dufflebag. 

"Gotta head out, Weas," Wade announced. He started toward the door when Weasel cleared his throat. He glanced back at him. 

"Zip that shut and toss your bag over here. I have to put it behind the counter before I can open up. I don't want to hear you bitch about how you can't find your bag again because someone stole it," Weasel said. He held out his arms toward him expectantly. 

"Aww, you do care," Wade replied. He picked up the dufflebag and zipped it shut. He threw it at Weasel, and the smaller man was knocked back a little from how hard it hit him. He nearly tilted over, letting out a string of curses as he righted himself. 

"For fuck's sake," Weasel grumbled. "Are you trying to break my ribs?" He lowered the bag to the floor and shoved it under the counter with the rest of the bar supplies. 

"Believe me, Weas. If I was, they would be," Wade said. He gave him a smirk under his mask. The other man waved a hand at him, gesturing at the door. 

"Get out of my damn bar and go tend your munchkin, Wilson," was Weasel's reply. 

"Are you sure you want me to go?" Wade asked dryly. 

Weasel threw a wet rag at him, and Wade moved his head down just in time to avoid getting his mask damp. It smacked against the far wall with a splat, sliding back toward the floor. 

"Out!" the other man snapped. He pointed at the door. 

Wade snickered and walked out the door to go find a taxi to flag down. He did wonder why his daughter was in the principal's office. He couldn't imagine her starting a fight. She usually just ended them. Probably some little jerk was picking on her or something. He should give those teacher's a peace of his mind. 

"How are you today, Mr. Pool?" Dopinder asked. 

"Just peachy, my slender brown friend," Wade responded absently. He picked at the gum under the seat. He pulled off a wad of pink goo and flicked it off against the glass of the window. 

"I got a new air freshener. Do you like it?" Dopinder asked him. Wade glanced over to see what scent it was he had gotten. 

"Ah, yes, the Orange Citrus really does add to the ambiance," he said. Dopinder smiled. 

"Thank you, Mr. Pool," his favorite taxi driver replied. There was a beat of silence, only punctuated with softly playing Indian music. "So I was wondering if-" 

"If you say that you want to become a contract killer again, I swear to all that is holy, Dopinder, I will stop this taxi," Wade said. He leveled a stare at him. Dopinder's eyes drifted back to the road. 

"I wasn't," he murmured unconvincingly. Wade just cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in his seat with a little hmmph.