Actions

Work Header

CRABS & Spiders FLARP: a black romance story

Work Text:

In a version of earth c where everyone including the trolls that died lived. The world of earth c was a very peaceful world with really nothing to do for most this was ok but for others that are more ambitious, this was terrible as they struggle to find something to do.

You are now Vriska. You are bored out of your mind to the point you think death would’ve been better than this. After the high of beating sburb and defeating Lord English nothing seems to be good enough for you. In this bored state, you decide to see if anyone is willing to play a good game of FLARP with you.

>>Open a memo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TROLLIN’ ALIVE.

CAG: Anyone up for a good ol’game of FLARP. I am 8ored.
CCG: UH NO WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER WANT TO PLAY THAT DANGEROUS GAME WITH A WELL KNOWN SERIAL KILLER LIKE YOUR SELF. IT’S BASICALLY SUICIDE PLUS I DONT TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY AS A CLOUDER WHICH I ASSUME YOU WILL FORCIBLY MAKE YOURSELF.
CAG: I should’ve assumed that you’d be such a scardy cat.
CGC: Y34H K4RK4T STOP B31NG SUCH 4 *B1TCH*
CAG: thank you Terezi for the 8ack up. Would you like to 8e on my team we could become the Scrouge Sisters 2.0 again?
CGC: 1 WOULD L1K3 TH4T
CCG: ARRRGH FINE I WILL DO YOUR LITTLE GAME OF FLARP IF YOU STOP THIS LOW EFFORT TRASH TALK BUT MY CONDITIONS ARE THAT I WILL BE THE LEADER OF MY GROUP AND THIS WILL BE A 3V3.
CAG: Fine you got a deal.
CGA: Wait I Would Like to Auspit...I Mean Moderate This Game So That Nothing Desasterful Happens.
CAG: yeah sure.
CCG: THAT IS FINE

CAG closed memo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>Close memo

You are now Karkat. You because of your submission to peer pressure now have to form a group of 3 people and fight Vriska,Terezi and some other third person in a meaningless fight but somehow you are….excited. You don't know why but you do know you don't like it however you made a promise and you must keep it.

>>Find teammates

You enter the living room of your hive and see Dave working on another issue of “Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff”. You and Dave have been living together for quite some time now, ever since you got to Earth C you and Dave relationship has only gotten closer and stronger with both of you becoming each others Matespirit.

KARKAT: HEY DAVE WOULD YOU MIND JOINING MY FLARP TEAM. I NEED 2 OTHER PEOPLE FOR MY TEAM SO I CAN BEAT VRISKA’S TEAM.
DAVE: sorry man would love to help you with whatever that is but i'm slumped with all this work for “sweet bro & hella jeff”
KARKAT: OH C’MON YOU WERE GONNA BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY TEAM BEHIND ME OF COURSE BUT STILL
DAVE: sorry man thats how it be
KARKAT: FINE CAN YOU AT *LEAST* HELP ME THINK OF PEOPLE THAT CAN HELP ME WIN THIS STUPID GAME.
DAVE: sure how about john you know with hes windy powers hes pretty strong.
KARKAT:YEAH SURE WHATEVER I GUESS I’LL LET EGBERT JOIN.
DAVE: yay and you can probably get that fish troll girl that was macin’ on you in the dream bubbles isnt she alive now and also super strong
KARKAT: MEENAH? SHE IS BUT I THINK IT MAY BE AWKWARD ON MY PART TO ASK HER BUT I GUESS ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD. I'LL MESSAGE THEM LATER

>> Be Kanaya

You are now Kanaya. You have just agreed to become a moderator for Vriska and Karkat’s FLARP game even though you tried to seem as neutral as possible you have ulterior motives and those motives are to Auspisticise what you see as Vriska and Karkat’s budding Kismesis .the door to the room you are in opens with Rose coming in, she sits right next to you and starts talking.

ROSE: What are you doing Kanya?
KANAYA: Oh I Am Planning To Auspisticise For Karkar And Vriska They seem to have Unknowingly Developed Caliginous Feeling For Each Other And As The Groups Go To Auspitice.
ROSE: Karkat and Vriska really? Cant that be dangerous.
KANAYA: Yes Yes It Can Thats Why I Must Do My Job And Make Sure They Dont Push Things Over Board.
ROSE: How are you going to do that, may I ask?
KANAYA: Well If You Must Know Vriska Has Started A Game Of FLARP Where Her Team And Karkats Will Fight Till One Wins I Asked To Be The Moderator Of This Match Which Means I Will Be Here Watching the Game On the Tele And Make Changes To the Game To Make it Marginally Safer
ROSE: Interesting I guess since I have nothing urgent to do I will watch, seems like it could be some fun.

>>Be Vriska

You are now Vriska again. This morning you were bored of life but now you feel new sensation …. Excitement maybe you figure that it's because you’re reforming the scrouge sisters for another game of FLARP which is exciting you haven't done something like this with your Moirail for quite some time but that is not what your feeling. Instead of digging deeper into that you focus on who will be the third person on your team than you think of the perfect troll

>> Message Him

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT] --
AG: Tavros you’re going to 8e on my FLARP team congratulations ::::)
AT: bUT wANT tO aND hAVE oTHER
AG: No you don't Tavros don't lie to me
AT: bUT
AG: NO 8UTS so get your 8utt here in 8 hours ok
AT: aLRIGHT
AG: g8

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] --

it is now later and you must message John and Meenah to see if they will join your FLARP team so you can defeat Vriska..’s team. You decide to message john first since the dancestors don't seem to have chat handles and its faster to chat with him first then track Meenah down.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ectoBiologist [EB] --

CG: HEY EGBERT EVEN THOUGH THIS PAINS ME TO ASK LIKE REALLY PAINS ME LIKE ON THE LEVEL OF BEING CULLED BY HAVING TWO LUSUS TEAR YOU IN TWO YOU WOULD YOU JOIN MY FLARP TEAM.
EB: well sure karkat i would love too but one question what is FLARP.
CG: OH MY GOD EGBERT DO YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING BEYOND YOU STUPID MOVIES. FLARP IS AN IMMERSIVE LIVE-ACTION ROLEPLAYING GAME WHERE TWO OR MORE TEAM FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL ONE TEAM WINS THE TEAMS ARE LED BY A LEADER CALLED “CLOUDER” WHO WILL SHAPE THE GAMES TRAJECTORY.
EB: role play sounds nerdy but ok
CG: IT IS NOT NERDY EGBERT IT IS A FUN WAY TO TRAIN YOUNG TROLL CHILDREN TO BECOME POWERFUL COMBATANTS
EB: whatever
CG: COME TO MY HIVE AT 8 PM THAT IS THE TIME THE GAME STARTS.
EB: 8 pm why so late
CG: WE’RE A NOCTURNAL SPECIES JOHN
EB: oh yeah forgot about that
CG: OF COURSE YOU DID
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceases trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

>> Go Talk To Meenah

Its been a while since you talked to Meenah or most of the other pre-scratch troll your friend group dubbed “dancestors”. She makes you a bit uneasy because of her forwardness and the fact she is the same person that ruled over your planet for millennia and would’ve culled you on sight also the fish puns are terrible. You find Meenah quickly it wasn't hard since you just went to water-related places.

MEENAH: woah shouty mcnubs that you
KARKAT: YEAH ITS ME THATS NOT MY NAME THOUGH. I CAME TO ASK YOU SOMETHING
MEENAH: about what somefin wrong
KARKAT: NO NOT REALLY BUT WOULD YOU JOIN MY FLARP TEAM I THINK YOU WOULD BE A VALUABLE ASSIST TO THE TEAM. THE GAME STARTS AT 8PM
MEENAH: hmm seems like it can be fin, but i’ll be the leader 380
KARKAT: I’M THE LEADER YOU CAN BE 2ND IN COMMAND THOUGH
MEENAH: fintastic 380

Your team is fully formed and so is vriska’s. You guys have only 8 hours to get ready for this incredibly nonimportant match but you still treat it as if it is but who am I to judge. Let the game start.

>>GAME START